Line up yer jokes ;) Options

[Darkwing]

President Bush visits all the grade schools in order to improve his electoral ratings. At one school, the teacher is holding a discussion regarding the meanings of certain words.  President Bush leads the class.


"Can anybody give me an example of the word 'disaster'?" he asks.


One little girl raises her hand and answers, "What if my friend Lucy, who lives on a farm, was run over by a tractor and killed.  That would be a disaster Mr.President."


"I'm sorry" says Bush, "But that would not be a disaster, that would be an accident. Does anybody else want to have a go?"


A little boy in the front raises his hand.  "What if a school bus full of children drove off a cliff and everyone inside died?"


"No" says Bush, "That would be a 'great loss'.  Can't anyone give me an example of the word 'disaster'?"


After a long silence, a boy in the back raises his hand and in a small voice he says, "What if an Air Force One jet carrying the president was shot down in friendly fire missile and everyone on board was killed?"


"Yes! That's right!" cries the President in triumph, "And can you tell me why that would be a disaster?"


"Well," says the boy, "It would have to be a disaster because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."

[milanius]

A philosophy professor came to university one day with a big glass jar and three boxes filled, respectivly, with rocks, gravel and sand. As he entered the amphitheater filled with his students he began his lecture by filling the jar with rocks and a question:
"Is this jar completely filled ?"
Several students said that there are empty spaces in jar; professor nodded and then took the gravel, filling up the big holes between rocks in jar. Then he repeated his question.
This time more students said that the jar still has lot of slack space, and professor then, in responce, took the third and final box, containing sand, and filled those smallest gaps with it. When he asked his question again nearly everyone replied that the jar was filled completely.
"Good" professor replied, "now observe: if this jar represents human life, you can see that there are major things in it, like schooling, love and wedding, birth of a child or death of some family member; those are rocks. The smaller things in life, such as getting a driver`s licence or a new job, is gravel; it fills much empty space in life. Then, there are small things in life - like festivals, music concerts, movies or even your favourite TV show; those things are the spice of life and so, they fill the rest of your life.
So, a man or a woman can say that they lived a fulfilled life only when they had all these things in it."
After a brief pause one student who`s been silent troughout the whole lecture raised from his seat, went all the way down to professor`s jar with a can of beer in his hands. When he got near to it he opened the beercan and poured the beer into the jar.
Professor, stunned, asked him what was he doing. Student answered him:
"No matter how much the life is full, there is always enough room in it for beer !"