The Story Of Young Mans Destiny Options

[The kid]

hey this is my first crack so it will probly be bad lol.



Chapeter 1

The day was rather odd for this young man named Javiric. He watched oddly as 2 strange creatures wondered throu the would in front of him. Javiric Brought up his bow and took aim the creatures knowing fully that the range of the shot was far to great for most people. He took his time and listened happily to the wilderness around him feeling the wind and testing it. The arrow flew from his Bow and flew straight and true for a good distance then watched as one of the creatures dropped and Died before it knew what happened the other completely confused ran into the woods. Javiric walked slowly up to the Werewolf knowing good and well that one of this size might not have died and could still be alive. He approached it cautiously and took his spear and poked it into the back of the werewolf making sure it was dead. "Good that takes care of this problem for nowand i see that my new silver alloy worked flawlessly" he said pleased. Javiric walked home to tell his family what he had done. But before him Lay his house burning and his parents corpse hanging from the oak tree near the house. He ran to his parents corspe and saw that his in his Father belt was a note. "You were to leave the land today you have disobeyed this and will be punished for it" the note read. Javiric heard a deep throuted laugh behind and saw a Huge Orc behind ontop of a monstrous creature javiric had never seen before. "Your Father and Mother were the easiest people in the world to trick. They should of never even left the safety of the house but what can i say when you mention money alot of people will do things they dont usually do." the Orc said smugley. Javiric Drew a up an arrow to his bow and aimed at the orc and let the arrow fly right after the The beast had finished his sentence. Javiric Knew this Orc was Captain Gorgon and would probly have troops around and they would be looking for him before long to javiric went to where he knew he would be safe.





Tell me how i did probly wasnt the best one i had ever done but this is my first on the web. Ill Edit it when i hear peoples opionans.

[minque]

Well it looks promising to me..but I have a few suggestions:

-paragraphing!!! it´s very hard to read a compact mass of words, so if you do a nice paragraphing you will get many more readers, and that is nice huh?

- try also to make the posts a bit longer than this one......but that is no issue really..just my opinion.

-now you started good, not any "in-game" events as far as I could see..that´s GOOD, keep it that way!


Hope this has helped you and I also hope you will continue the good work!