The adventures of Arthago, My first fan fiction so be gentle Options

[Agent Griff]

So, just that you know, this is my first fan fiction ever. I have done backstories for my Oblivion characters before but this will be different. It will also be from a First Person perspective, something I'm experimenting with for the first time btw. So here we go:

In the year 400 of our curent era, in the stronghold of Vulnim gate located to the North-East of Sentinel, I was born. My mother was a humble peasant girl who barely reached the age of 18. My father was a knight in the Order of the Candle, a great man, who many looked up to. Some could say that I had an easy life up ahead, beeing the son of a noble warrior but I can firmly deny their claims. My father was a perfectionist, always was, always will be. He always wanted me to strive to do the best I could in all my affairs. I was forced to join the Knights of the Candle at a fragile age. I was trained and chiseled in a warrior with knowledge of etiquette and various other skills. I was mainly a fighter though, I never was much of a diplomat.

When I reached the age of 15 my father gifted me with a horse of my own. I called him Whisper because he was quite quick and very quiet for an animal of his size. He wasn't much of a war horse though and always craved for my love and care. I figured that if I ever went into battle on his back I should dismount first to meet my enemies. My life went on in the same way until I reached the age of 18 years old.

At my eighteenth birthday I was greeted with the news that my father was found dead somewhere to the east of Vulnim Gate. It was a great tragedy, my mother was devasted. She wasn't worried for the death of her husband as much as she was worried that she would loose her social standing. That terrified her so. She was always the ambitious sort that clinged to whatever inch of power she could. She realized that she was going to have to take a job after the death of my father. She didn't have a great many skills. She knew how to spend money very well but didn't know many ways of making it. She got married to my father before she could complete her studies. She could have been a merchant but she was forced to work at a tavern.

After a few years of working at the tavern she must have caught some ilness from a traveller. Whatever happened she died a few days after and I was left completely alone, with no one to help me anymore. I was going to have to decide what to do and that had to happen fast or else I would end up some beggar on the street, and I know that my father wouldn't want that.

This is the end of the first part of the story. I hope you liked it and I also hope that I will receive some feedback.

This post has been edited by Agent Griff: Mar 4 2006, 09:07 AM

[Agent Griff]

Finally! Some feedback! Now that I have some feedback, I can start on part II. Well, anyway, here's part II:

After my mother died of some mysterious disease, I had to decide what to do with my life. If I remained in Vulnim gate, my fate would be that of a beggar boy. I decided to go to the home of my knightly order, The order of the Candle. Their base was in Sentinel, capital of the greatest Hammerfellian kingdom. The grandmaster of the order was Lord K'avar, a great warrior feared by many and respected by all. I planned on rising in the order and beeing an active member in general. Maybe, with some luck I could even become a rich man. Thus, I set on to Sentinel, looking to make my fortune.

A week later, I reached Sentinel. It's great ivory coloured gates were guarded by the most fearsome warriors I had ever seen. One of them shouted at me to name my bussines in Sentinel. I told him that I was a member of the Order of the Candle. He didn't quite believe me judging by his answer. He asked me to show the seal of the order. I had no such seal or any other item that could prove the fact that I belonged to the order. He then said the following:
"Now listen, traveller! I can understand that you lied to get free passage into the city. Now, jokes aside, you will have to pay me 25 drakes if you want to enter the city. Or else you can sleep in the desert!" he shouted.
I looked around my pockets for any money I had. Luckily, I had 31 drakes left over from the journey. I payed the guard his toll then the great gates of Sentinel opened in front of me. I laid my eyes on the great marketplace in front of me. It was teeming with activity. An old Redguard merchant was bartering with a younger customer over the price of a dagger. A woman was chasing a little boy through the streets. A noble with his guards were walking through the marketplace, peering at the selection of goods available. A travelling band of acrobats were performing a show to the music of a bard's lute. This city was everything my native town of Vulnim Gate wasn't.

I made my way across the marketplace to the great palace of king Lhotun. It was truly a jewel of a building and the greatest structure I had ever seen in my short life. King Lhotun was crowned king after the death of his brother. His brother, Greklith, was the original crown prince but a great plague had struck the city in recent times, killing alot of inhabitants, Greklith was among them. Lord K'asar lived in the palace, close to the king. I entered the palace after leaving my trusty horse in a stable. When I reached K'asar's quarters inside the palace a guard stoped me at the entrance. He told me that only high ranking members of the order were allowed inside K'asar's quarters. The guard directed me to the Marshall of the order. He didn't live in the palace, he had his own manor somewhere in the city. The guard told me that the marshall can give me tasks. I then proceded to make my way to the marshall's house, following the vague directions of the guard.

And that's it for part II! I hope you liked it and I hope I'll receive more feedback than last time.