Section: Miscellaneous Text
Written by Polonius Rialle (Stargazey)
Oddities and Mysteries As transcribed by Polonius Rialle and Murkus from an interview with M’Aiq the Liar
You want to know the secrets that M’Aiq knows? Fine. M’Aiq will tell you all he knows about the Oddities and mysteries of Morrowind.
The Mystery of the Dwarves-There is no mystery. M'Aiq knows all. The dwarves were here, and now they are not! They were very short folks... Or perhaps they were not. It all depends on your perspective. I'm sure they thought they were about the right height.
The Talking Mudcrab Merchant-M'Aiq has heard of this. They've got all the money. Mudcrabs taking over everything. They already run Pelagiad."
The Naked Barbarians of Morrowind- M’Aiq has heard of this. Foolish Nords becoming besotted with witches. M’Aiq has no sympathy for them. Serves them right.
Capn’s Guide to the Fishy Stick- M’Aiq has never read this book. However, M’Aiq loves fishy sticks and fishy stick sauce. In fact M’Aiq has some fishy sticks with him right now. Would you like one?
Ra’Gruzgob- M’Aiq has heard of this Orc who believes he is a Khajiit because he likes the sugar so much. This is foolish; all know that Orcs are nothing like Khajiit. M’Aiq thinks that the sugar is both a blessing and a curse.
Weresharks- I have only met one, and he was afraid of the water.
Dragons- Dragons? Oh, they're everywhere! You must fly very high to see most of them, though. The ones nearer the ground are very hard to see, being invisible.
Horses- Horses.... Oh, M'Aiq loves horses! Especially with good cream sauce."
Dual Wielding- Two blades at once? Well of course it is possible. M'Aiq can help you if you let him bite off your thumbs.
Mounted Combat- You want to fight from your horse. Are your feet so lazy that they will not bear you?
Thrown weapons and Crossbows in Cyrodiil- You want a Crossbow and throwing weapons? What is wrong with your bow? Does it not kill things far away? Honestly you young ones can never be satisfied, can you?
Fast Travel- Of course M’Aiq know what fast travel is. It is when M'Aiq has too much moon sugar and the Imperials are grouchy. But M'Aiq does not see what business that is of yours.
Skooma and Moonsugar in Cyrodiil- Well that depends. Do you know any Khajiits in Cyrodiil? Then yes, you can find Skooma and moonsugar.
Cliffracers- M’Aiq hates those damn birds. All they do is fly around and harass M’Aiq. M’Aiq has heard there are none in Cyrodiil. Perhaps M’Aiq will move to Cyrodiil.
Authors Note: My interview with M’Aiq the Liar was very tiring, as many of his answers are questions. The reason for the shortness of this book is my exasperation with M’Aiq.
|