The life of Nethemi Ocatu [WIP:P] Options

[Konji]

After a long time away from writing I'm ready to tell of Nethemi's life, starting with his birth, childhood and relative history, all the way to the reason and reasoning behind why he enered the Imperial prison.

Also just done 4 sides of A4 notes on his first few encounters in the ayleid ruins across the from the starting sewers...still haven't found what's at the end.

Watch this space.

This post has been edited by Konradude: Apr 14 2006, 09:56 PM

[MerGirl]

*clap* Very good! I liked how you added a backstory prior to the dungeon cell scene. Very descriptive writing style, and very 'intimate' (so that you could feel sympathy for the protagonist) in characterization.

I assume that the mother was of a fan-made race, or is it a mysterious canon TES race that I wasn't aware of? Please excuse my lack of TES knowledge. *blushes*

Anyway, it is well-written, so please continue!

The only constructive criticism I have is that the story 'flows' too fast at certain points, meaning one second the emporer is alive and the next, before I was aware of it, he was dead. It is like reading a summary on the back of the book at that point (stuff happening too fast), not letting me take a breather.

Besides that, very nice, and I hope you will continue despite my horrible critique(sp?)skills.