The Story of the Listener, My first fanfic. Options

[Kayla]

Ok. This is my first fanfic. I'm a tad nervous about it, but I'd like to see what everyone thinks.
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I sat quietly on a bench beside the pawnshop on the docks of Anvil, staring out over the dark Abecean Sea. Through the clouds in the sky, I could see that the sun was setting. A chilly wind blew my black robes and hood as though they were weightless, but the persistent breeze was unsuccessful in penetrating the black light armor I wore underneath my robes. I listened to the fragmented conversations of the dock workers, and watched as people hastily walked by, fearing that it would soon begin to storm.

Before I knew it, the sun had set completely. The Nord who owned the shop I was sitting in front of walked outside. He locked up his shop and began to make his way down the stone street toward the resident area of Anvil. He hadn’t even noticed that I’d been sitting just feet away from him. I heard the Nord loudly greet someone before he walked completely out of earshot. Soon after, an Orc walked by. I studied the Orc carefully as he passed. He walked with a slight limp and had a large scar on his left arm, and just as I expected, he opened the door to the dockside warehouse and went inside.

It was completely dark now. Neither sun nor moon shone through the twisting clouds in the sky. The wind picked up, carrying moisture in it.

I stood and made my way to the back door of the warehouse. I picked the lock and the door swung open. Quickly I slipped into the thick darkness inside. The warehouse was fairly big but, a few candles on a large table in the middle of the room revealed the Orc’s position. He was busily unpacking things from crates and setting them on shelves. He was completely unaware of my presence, and I preferred it that way. I slipped through the shadows toward him. In the darkness I felt strong, invincible, and incapable of fear. I observed his movements, the way his body flowed with each contraction and relaxation of each muscle. I watched every joint in his body, paying close attention to his spinal cord. The Orc was old, and moved as though he’d been doing hard labor his entire life. Almost every movement looked as though it pained him.

As soon as I was sure of his reactions, I silently unsheathed my ebony blade, a gift from a dear friend, and I closed in on the Orc. He was still unaware of my being there, even though I was soon right behind him, almost breathing down his neck. In one quick motion, I lunged out of the shadows, grabbed the Orc with my right arm, wrapping it around the front of his neck and shoulders, then I brought my left hand up and stabbed him right in the jugular vein. The poor old Orc didn’t even have a chance to yell. I let go of the body letting it fall limply onto the wooden floor of the warehouse. I waited for his gurgled breathing to stop, then I snuffed the candles out and exited the warehouse the same way I’d come in.

(Expect updates!)

[Kayla]

Thanks for the comments so far, guys!
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“Sarelle!” I opened my eyes to a shadowy figure standing over my bed.
I pushed the blankets off me and sat up. It was then that I realized how cold it was in the dark room. I tried in vain to distinguish the features of the shadow’s face as it spoke in a familiar voice.
“Sarelle, you are in danger.”
“Lucien! Lucien, is that you?” I whispered, reaching out to touch the shadowy figure. It caught my hand and held it close.
“Yes. It’s me.” His hand was very, very cold.
“How am I in danger? What’s going on?” I asked.
“Do not ask me that, Sarelle. I cannot tell you how to rewrite your fate. Neither can the Night Mother. Remember that.”
That more than startled me. It made my blood run cold and my heart skip a beat. How did he know that I’d asked the Night Mother for advice?
“Then why the hell are you here?” I asked him. I was very confused, and tired of him trying to feed my paranoia.
“To tell you to be careful, that not all around you serve Sithis as well as you think they do. I also wanted you to know that I’m watching over you.” He let go of my hand and receded into the impenetrable shadows, where he disappeared without a trace.


For some reason, I felt peaceful enough to go back to sleep. Or maybe I just wanted so badly to relax, that I didn’t care at that time what kind of danger I was in. I have to admit that I tried hard not to believe what Lucien was telling me. That was a mistake that almost cost me my life.

Again, I awoke to someone shaking me. It was Arquen. She was breathing heavily. “Listener, we have a big problem.” I got out of bed. “Please, follow me to my quarters. I’ll explain in private.”

Sleepily, I followed her. The murderers in the sanctuary were all up and busily talking to each other about their contracts. I heard that Arquen had given the latest contract to Saprius. Maybe she had seen something in him as well. If he survived the contract, I decided that I would promote him.

When we reached Arquen’s quarters, she closed the door behind us.
“I’m going to be very straightforward with you, as we don’t have much time…” she said, trying to catch her breath.
“The sanctuary in Mournhold has been attacked. By whom, or what, we don’t know. I received this message today.”
She handed me a piece of paper. The sanctuary in Mournhold was quite the large sanctuary. We could not afford to lose it, as it was the only sanctuary we had in Morrowind.
I read the paper. “Sanctuary in Mournhold attacked. Speaker killed. Need help fast.” I pocketed the paper.
“I’ll go there myself.” I said quietly.
“Take one of the murderers.” Arquen urged.
“No. I’ll be fine. Maybe the attackers can be reasoned with. This will be just the vacation I’ve needed.” I replied. I really wanted to be alone with my thoughts. Plus, I hadn’t been to Mournhold in a long time. I wanted to see what had changed. Arquen nodded.
“If you find yourself in over your head, come back here. We will assist you.”
“Thanks.” I replied, opening her door and walking back out into the sanctuary.