The Story of the Listener, My first fanfic. Options

[Kayla]

Ok. This is my first fanfic. I'm a tad nervous about it, but I'd like to see what everyone thinks.
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I sat quietly on a bench beside the pawnshop on the docks of Anvil, staring out over the dark Abecean Sea. Through the clouds in the sky, I could see that the sun was setting. A chilly wind blew my black robes and hood as though they were weightless, but the persistent breeze was unsuccessful in penetrating the black light armor I wore underneath my robes. I listened to the fragmented conversations of the dock workers, and watched as people hastily walked by, fearing that it would soon begin to storm.

Before I knew it, the sun had set completely. The Nord who owned the shop I was sitting in front of walked outside. He locked up his shop and began to make his way down the stone street toward the resident area of Anvil. He hadn’t even noticed that I’d been sitting just feet away from him. I heard the Nord loudly greet someone before he walked completely out of earshot. Soon after, an Orc walked by. I studied the Orc carefully as he passed. He walked with a slight limp and had a large scar on his left arm, and just as I expected, he opened the door to the dockside warehouse and went inside.

It was completely dark now. Neither sun nor moon shone through the twisting clouds in the sky. The wind picked up, carrying moisture in it.

I stood and made my way to the back door of the warehouse. I picked the lock and the door swung open. Quickly I slipped into the thick darkness inside. The warehouse was fairly big but, a few candles on a large table in the middle of the room revealed the Orc’s position. He was busily unpacking things from crates and setting them on shelves. He was completely unaware of my presence, and I preferred it that way. I slipped through the shadows toward him. In the darkness I felt strong, invincible, and incapable of fear. I observed his movements, the way his body flowed with each contraction and relaxation of each muscle. I watched every joint in his body, paying close attention to his spinal cord. The Orc was old, and moved as though he’d been doing hard labor his entire life. Almost every movement looked as though it pained him.

As soon as I was sure of his reactions, I silently unsheathed my ebony blade, a gift from a dear friend, and I closed in on the Orc. He was still unaware of my being there, even though I was soon right behind him, almost breathing down his neck. In one quick motion, I lunged out of the shadows, grabbed the Orc with my right arm, wrapping it around the front of his neck and shoulders, then I brought my left hand up and stabbed him right in the jugular vein. The poor old Orc didn’t even have a chance to yell. I let go of the body letting it fall limply onto the wooden floor of the warehouse. I waited for his gurgled breathing to stop, then I snuffed the candles out and exited the warehouse the same way I’d come in.

(Expect updates!)

[Kayla]

When I awoke, I felt very warm. Lucien was standing over me. “Ah. You’re awake. I hope I didn’t disturb you.” He said, calmly.
I was still in pain, and I suddenly remembered what had happened.
“Lucien… am I..?” Lucien was dead. To be with him now, considering my last conscious memories…
“Yes. You’re dead now. But, you’ll live again soon.”
I was confused. “What do you mean?” I asked.
“I entered your body, stopped your heart, gave you signs of death. The Morag Tong thinks they killed you. But, technically, I did. And when I leave your body, I will give you life again. I told you I was watching over you.”
“Have I figured everything out correctly?” I asked. “Was it truly Arquen who hired the Morag Tong to kill me? Are the other assassins safe?”
He nodded. “Yes. You know the situation quite well. Arquen did this. She’s wanted you dead since you became Listener. She wants to overthrow the Night Mother and take full control of the Dark Brotherhood herself. She was loyal, but her belief in Sithis waned. For what reasons, I do not know. But, this is all part of her quest for power.”
He reached out and touched my face. “Our brothers and sisters are safe for now, though the Speaker of the sanctuary has been killed. The assassins are being held in the basement. You must awake soon and free them before the remainder of the Morag Tong can get to them.”
I nodded, understanding my objective clearly.
I looked into his pale blue eyes. “I miss you, Lucien.”
“I miss you too, Sarelle.” He replied.

I sat up. Pain screamed through my body, and I remembered my wounds. I clutched my stomach and looked around. I was back in the sanctuary in Old Mournhold. Lucien was gone. The floor was littered with corpses, and puddles of blood. Eno Hlaalu and his two remaining assassins were nowhere to be found. Painfully, I stumbled up and walked toward the back of the building.

I quickly found an opened trap door, revealing stone stairs leading down into darkness. I climbed down them carefully, holding the wound on my stomach with my left hand, and my short sword in my right. Halfway down the stairs, I could hear Eno Hlaalu’s voice echoing throughout the chamber. Silently, I climbed down until I could see him. His back was turned to me, his two surviving assassins on both sides of him, and he was talking to my brothers and sisters.

“Your Listener is dead. Your organization, quickly falling apart.” He held his bloody sword up for all to see. “Behold! The blood of your beloved Listener!”

I grabbed my bow, and quickly notched an arrow. I aimed for the back of one of his assassins’ heads and let it fly. Almost as soon as I had let go, the assassin fell. The assassin to Eno's right suffered the same fate.

Wide-eyed, Eno Hlaalu turned around. I stood, and descended the rest of the stairs. I stepped out of the shadows and my brothers and sisters let out a triumphant yell.

Eno backed up as I closed in on him.
“You- You’re dead…” he said, panic apparent in his voice.
I closed the gap and grabbed his shoulder, and then I shoved my blade into his stomach.
“As long as our Dread Father watches over me, I will not die.” I replied.
I looked up at the crowd of assassins that followed me, the murderers, my brothers and sisters. I shoved him toward them.
“Rip him to pieces.” I said.
They were happy to oblige to my orders.