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> Gorgoth, The beginning, The starting of Gorgoth's story
Protoss2007
post Apr 24 2006, 04:41 PM
Post #1


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Joined: 19-April 06



I was walking into a village all the people around me were avoiding me because I'm part of the Comonna Tong. I could see the fear in there eyes they were just whighhting for which person i would take or which place i would seal from frist, I just kept on walking then out of no where this guy appers and says to me "HI, nice armor what kind is that?" I said to him "it is glass armor" then he said "so why is everyone scard of you i dont see what is so scary about you" then I said " because I am part of Comonna Tong." then the man just kept on going I felt like I had a freind for once becuase noone has talk to me ever sence I joined the damn Comonna Tong. At the end of the day I made it to the hills where I stayed for the night.

The next day I left my camp and started heading north to Ghost gate.

*Posting finish later*

This post has been edited by Protoss2007: May 1 2006, 04:27 PM


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Gorgoth , raids villages and kills people for fun. Rob's stores for spare time. ;)
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treydog
post Apr 26 2006, 04:58 PM
Post #2


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Joined: 13-February 05
From: The Smoky Mountains



A good start. Might want to run it through a spell check and do a little proof-reading. Overall, it has an interesting feel. Might also give us a hint of the narrator's mission, motivation, etc. Even if you don't directly say- "I was here to do X," you can still foreshadow with- "I didn't really care for towns; they reminded me that I was an outcast. But I wouldn't be staying long- just long enough to take care of some business."


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The dreams down here aren't broken, nah, they're walkin' with a limp...

The best-dressed newt in Mournhold.
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