The Story of the Listener, My first fanfic. Options

[Kayla]

Ok. This is my first fanfic. I'm a tad nervous about it, but I'd like to see what everyone thinks.
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I sat quietly on a bench beside the pawnshop on the docks of Anvil, staring out over the dark Abecean Sea. Through the clouds in the sky, I could see that the sun was setting. A chilly wind blew my black robes and hood as though they were weightless, but the persistent breeze was unsuccessful in penetrating the black light armor I wore underneath my robes. I listened to the fragmented conversations of the dock workers, and watched as people hastily walked by, fearing that it would soon begin to storm.

Before I knew it, the sun had set completely. The Nord who owned the shop I was sitting in front of walked outside. He locked up his shop and began to make his way down the stone street toward the resident area of Anvil. He hadn’t even noticed that I’d been sitting just feet away from him. I heard the Nord loudly greet someone before he walked completely out of earshot. Soon after, an Orc walked by. I studied the Orc carefully as he passed. He walked with a slight limp and had a large scar on his left arm, and just as I expected, he opened the door to the dockside warehouse and went inside.

It was completely dark now. Neither sun nor moon shone through the twisting clouds in the sky. The wind picked up, carrying moisture in it.

I stood and made my way to the back door of the warehouse. I picked the lock and the door swung open. Quickly I slipped into the thick darkness inside. The warehouse was fairly big but, a few candles on a large table in the middle of the room revealed the Orc’s position. He was busily unpacking things from crates and setting them on shelves. He was completely unaware of my presence, and I preferred it that way. I slipped through the shadows toward him. In the darkness I felt strong, invincible, and incapable of fear. I observed his movements, the way his body flowed with each contraction and relaxation of each muscle. I watched every joint in his body, paying close attention to his spinal cord. The Orc was old, and moved as though he’d been doing hard labor his entire life. Almost every movement looked as though it pained him.

As soon as I was sure of his reactions, I silently unsheathed my ebony blade, a gift from a dear friend, and I closed in on the Orc. He was still unaware of my being there, even though I was soon right behind him, almost breathing down his neck. In one quick motion, I lunged out of the shadows, grabbed the Orc with my right arm, wrapping it around the front of his neck and shoulders, then I brought my left hand up and stabbed him right in the jugular vein. The poor old Orc didn’t even have a chance to yell. I let go of the body letting it fall limply onto the wooden floor of the warehouse. I waited for his gurgled breathing to stop, then I snuffed the candles out and exited the warehouse the same way I’d come in.

(Expect updates!)

[Kayla]

Very short update, but I plan to make another, longer one a little bit later.
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I immediately leapt into action, drawing my elven shortsword and running toward my enemies. The ash and wind hid them from sight for the most part, so I listened carefully for their footsteps, relying on my sight only when needed.
“How do they keep finding us?” I asked myself, spotting an assassin, and lunging forward, swinging my sword. I felt great satisfaction when I felt an impact, and heard a pained cry.

Quickly, I reached out with my hand, grabbing the assassin’s throat, and pulling them close so I could see them. Through the blowing ash, I saw the face of a female orc. Her eyes widened momentarily before I snapped her neck. Just as I was letting her body fall onto the rocks, a searing pain tore into the back of my right shoulder. Behind me, I heard a loud hiss.

I quickly spun around to see a hulking Khajiit wielding its own long, and bloodstained claws. He darted away, choosing to stalk me from the safety of the ash storm.

Suddenly, all around me, I heard more movement and more voices.
“Don’t tell me more have shown up…”

One figure moved toward me. I could tell by the way it was moving that the figure was Saprius. To confirm my assumption, his face materialized through the storm. His eyes were deathly serious. I was completely shocked to see that he was bleeding badly from a head wound. However, as he spoke, he showed no signs of weakness.
“Sarelle… they’ve found us again. And more keep showing up. I’ll stay here and keep them busy. You have to make it back to Cyrodiil. You have to tell the Night Mother of our success. The Dark Brotherhood needs you.”
Through the shrieking wind, I could faintly hear the voices of the Morag Tong assassins. They were thirsty for blood, and searching for us.
“I’m not leaving you, Saprius.” I said.
“Go.” He demanded.
“No.” I answered, standing firm.

Catching me completely off guard, Saprius grabbed my throat and as he dragged me across the rocks, he spoke calmly and firmly.
“I am nothing but a Speaker. You are the Listener. You are our leader. If I let you die now, I will spend the rest of my life regretting it. I have lived a good life. The Brotherhood has given me a family. You have given me friendship, and had faith in my abilities. With you alive, we will not fail.”
I kicked my legs, my boots scraping against rough stone.
“S-Saprius…” I managed to choke.
“In your company, under your leadership, under the service of Sithis and the Night Mother, I proudly accept my fate. Goodbye, Sarelle.” He said, throwing me off the edge of the mountain.

This post has been edited by Kayla: May 23 2006, 12:38 AM