A DEAD MAN'S TALE, the story of a dying man Options

[Mazelure]

A Dead Man’s Tale


Diego could be seen drinking bottle after bottle of flin… everyone in the bar was staring at him… “How can a man drink so much?” was in everyone mind. Everyone’s except one… a young boy who could see through Diego’s desperate attempt to numb the pain… by filling the empty hole inside with alcohol…he has seen it before in others… but none showed as much pain and desperation as Diego…

Diego felt cold and empty inside… he no longer cared about what others thought… he just wanted to replace the pain with something… with anything… but he knew that no amount of alcohol will ever fill the hole inside his chest… but he had to try even if it was in vain… even if it killed him.

Each flin he drank helped him face the truth… that he was alone… that he will always be alone… that he was already dead inside… only that his brain did not know it yet.

His eye were empty of emotion, slowly scanning his surroundings… watching all… then gazing at the table before him… filled with empty bottles of flin… and then the beautiful melody crawled in his ears and into his intoxicated brain.

Such melody… “Music of the gods” Diego slowly whispered.

It got louder and louder… and with the increase of volume Diego’s pain decreased in size. He slowly turned to the left to see a young Breton boy playing a lute that fit perfectly in his arms… as if it was a part of him… an extension of his arms…

“Leave me alone child… I have no money… I have nothing… so just leave this poor man to his drinking…” Diego whispered the words slowly as if every one pained him to speak.

“Don’t worry… this song is free of charge” the boy responded with concern in his eyes and sadness in his voice.

“I don’t need your sympathy… I don’t need your charity either… but I will be willing to barter.” Diego told the small boy.

“I’m listening old man.”

“Now listen closely you fetcher… I will be willing to tell you how this once mighty hero lost everything… how I was loved and respected… how much my wife and children adored me… and how everything was taken away… ripped away from my grasp…and in exchange you will play that soothing melody to help ease the pain.”

“That sounds like a deal old man” the young child responded even though he truly did not wish to listen to this poor man’s story… he never liked listening about the suffering of others.

The bar was half empty now… and in the middle of the room a child could be seen playing a beautiful melody for a dyeing man… listening to a dead man’s tale…


I hope this is the beginning of a good story… and remember I’ll appreciate some criticism… and by the way…

Kudos… Kudos

This post has been edited by Mazelure: May 23 2006, 03:40 AM

[Ice]

:claps his hands: Very nice ^^ Sorry I wasn't able to post after your update, I was working last night and not able to log on. I can't wait to hear the next chapter.

This is something that I noticed, you can take it or leave it, just a bit of help
I would work on your battle scene. Yes, it drew me in, but I found myself really lost in finding out what was going on. But maybe that was your attempt.
Take it or leave it, it's your story. Just a bit of advice ^^