Depressed? Insane? Options

[Wurlon]

Ever feel so depressed and insane that you sometimes question whether you are dreaming or the swirling world around you is a grim reality? I really can't tell anymore... every passing day brings more proof of my insanity and I keep feeling a rage.. to do something. I worry whether its for good or bad.

Help? No one seems to believe me or understand me anymore. Maybe I should just take a whole bottle of Advil and get my wretched existence over with. God turns his cheek to me.

[mplantinga]

It seems almost redundant to add my voice to this thread, but it feels like I must. Like many of the other people who have posted in this thread, I too have suffered from severe depression. I can't say that I understand what you're going through, because nobody other than you could really ever completely understand. But that doesn't mean that we don't know what it is like to be severely depressed. When I was your age, I was constantly depressed and frequently suicidal. I didn't have any close friends that I could talk to about it, and purposely alienated myself from other people to hide my feelings from me and them. In my junior year of college, I finally figured out what it was thadt had been making me so depressed, what it was that I was trying to hide from myself and the people around me. Once that happened, I was able to start down the road of coming to terms with who I was and that has allowed me to get where I am today. I realize that makes it sound easy, but it certainly wasn't. I've spent years in therapy and had some help with anti-depressants. But for me, the most helpful thing was therapy, mostly because by talking through what I was feeling, I came to understand it better and in understanding, there comes acceptance and the beginning of a solution. Having said that, I don't know what it is that has brought you to where you are. I can't promise that the solutions that have worked for many of us will work for you. But I can promise, as many others have done, that if you need someone to talk to, I'll be here. You have said that you don't really know anyone in this forum; most of us only know each other from the posts that we've made. Some people here are true friends, and communicate via PM and other means on or off the forums. I know there are a lot of people here who have felt what you're feeling, even if for different reasons. You may not know any of us on a personal level, but it doesn't have to stay that way. I'm sure that if you sent a PM to someone who felt safe to you, they would be happy to stay in contact, get to know you better, and try to help as best they can. I know that I would.

Perhaps I've rambled on long enough. I'll end with this last thought: Please talk to someone, somewhere. Find someone you can trust, someone who cares, someone who understands, someone who can help. I'm confident that if you can find even one person to really talk to, it will halp.