Comical enough like this?
,,You call that food?!” Even if the smell hadn’t told him he had found the kitchen, the voice did. Morvayn couldn’t help but be amused at the whole situation. Jarik was clearly unhappy. His face also bore the distinct markings of several slaps. Still, he defended himself with stubborn pride.
,,I eat this whenever I am away from civilization! It is food, very nutritious!” He barked back at his captor. The sound of a hand slapping across his cheek echoed through the room. Jarik brought up a hand and touched the stricken area.
,,You bwoke my cweekbwone, stuwpid Elb.” He mumbled angrily.
,,Well that’s your own fault. For as long as I’m here, this place is part of civilization so you dare to talk to me like that! I want food that tastes good, not this rotten Cliffracer dung!”
Morvayn didn’t know what the Nord was going through, but he could imagine. It wasn’t often that someone could casually break the bones of someone almost twice as big with nothing but a simple slap across the face. It was very embarrassing, not to mention that Jarik’s pride would suffer from it for a long time. The Dunmer stepped into the kitchen and cleared his throat.
,,Excuse me for intruding. I understand that you are not pleased with the actions of my companion but I would be grateful if you are a bit more careful with him. I kind of need him to be in a not so injured state for my mission.” He said with a cool and forced tone.
Jana looked away from her victim.
,,I thought I told you to stay where you were. I know you Ordinators love to say the word scum but that doesn’t mean you have to act like scum.” She complained.
,,Now if you know what’s good for you, you will leave and let me handle this. Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle to the big hormonefreak here.” She continued, calming down a little.
,,Now if you can’t even do something as simple as that, grab a towel and start cleaning the floor!” Morvayn heard barely after he’d stepped through the door.
,,Phew, I can’t believe everyone thinks that the most frightening thing about vampires are their teeth and the risk of becoming one. The last thing I’m scared off would be her teeth. Her anger, now that’s scary.” He thought to himself.
Apart from the trauma, the physical damage he received in the village turned out to be no big deal in the end. He’d just arrived back at the Telvanni tower when an Argonian came to him and handed over a potion. He sniffed it cautiously, who knew what those lizards would put in their potions. A careful taste of a single drop made him conclude that he was dealing with a harmless healing potion. He swallowed the liquid and winced as his bones grew back together.
,,Now I know why most healers add painkillers to their healing potions. Accelerated healing hurts as much as being stepped on by a Kagouti.”He noticed later that he’d fallen asleep. He instantly realized that the healing potion also caused him to fall asleep. Why, he could only guess.
,,Back up again? Good Daedra, I don’t understand how you people ever managed to beat the Dwemer and make a bunch of gods when you sleep half of your life away.”
Morvayn rolled his eyes behind his closed eyelids. Being woken up by the Redguard was definitely not on his list of favourite moments of the day.
,,I’m sorry, it appears that someone here has slipped up during his alchemy. That healing potion knocked me out.” He grunted as he opened his eyes.
Luper grinned and shrugged.
,,Hey, it wasn’t me. Ever since I figured out that the only potions I make are the ones that make you sick and have you vomit throughout the day, I kept clear of the mortars and pestles.” He joked.
Morvayn thought of snapping something back but changed his mind. Luper had changed.
Not in his looks or his personality. His attire was different. The weathered clothes he wore were the same, except they now clearly covered a suit of armour. The iron sword was gone. Now, there was Daedric longsword to take its place as well as a large Claymore on his back. Two gauntlets of Dwemer steel covered his hands. The air around the man seemed to be buzzing with the power of enchantments.
,,Where did you get all that? Stolen from the invisible tower?” He asked out of curiosity.
,,No, this is mine. All honestly looted out of caves, tombs, ruins and other places. I left it behind when I travelled to Sentinel. It would be such a shame if something got stolen. Then I’d have to chase the thief, whack him on the head and give some stupid speech about why it is not smart to steal from someone like me.” The answer was a typical one that only someone like Luper would give.
Morvayn stood up and took in his surroundings. He was no longer in the village. The view that graced him was that of the Black Marsh. Jarik was sleeping on a tree root nearby. His face still bore the souvenirs from his encounter with Jana.
,,Thinking about that, just why do you live with vampires?”
Luper didn’t answer immediately. He then frowned with a strangely serious expression.
,,No good reason really. I met her a few years ago when I was still young and only half the swordswinger I am now. She insisted on running off into trouble so I started giving her sword lessons so I wouldn’t have to watch her back all the time. After she no longer ran into trouble, we learned of some more trouble that hadn’t revealed itself yet. I continued the lessons when I wasn’t beating up trouble all over the place and well, I never got around to leaving.”
His expression turned back to the normal arrogant one.
,,Oh yeah, I had to give you a message. Jana is really sorry that your visit was so rudely interrupted by the greedy Nord over there. She also says that you are quite attractive and she would really like it if you pay her a visit again sometime.” He said, grinning as usual.
,,Can I trust your words? This sounds a lot like one of your jokes again.” Morvayn responded in a sour tone.
,,Well, I admit that she didn’t say the attractive bit and the part about coming back. But I know her better than you do. I can tell you, you’ve got a good chance with the girl. So trust me.” Luper told him and winked.
,,Besides, after all those years, she’s turned into one of the three people I know who can beat me in a fight. I wouldn’t dare to lie……too much.” He added.
,,Now come on, the ruin is a good days march from here. Hey, you big blond bodybuilder who pumped up his muscles with Netch gas. Get up, we’re leaving.” It wasn’t long before the two men were flinging insults back and forth again.