The Temple of Lore, Works of the Schola Options

[Black Hand]

This thread is for the stories of the members of Order of the Schola, for any questions you may have please click on the following link.

http://chorrol.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=3495

ANYTHING that is not a story or poem or whatever should be posted on the link that was just provided. Thank you, not trying to be mean, just trying to keep our sacred temple clean. Now then, an explanation.

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The Temple of Lore is a sacred sanctum of tomes, dreams, thoughts, abstracts, histories, stories, poems, and the written word.

It exists in the twilight, between reality and fantasy, it embraces all forms and images that attempt to define it. It is perception, and the perciever.

There exists an order of men, commonly known to the masses as the Writers Guild, more accurately called the Order of the Schola who have mastered this twilight abstract in the form of storytelling, they alone have the power to transcend to the Temple of Lore, and contibute and take from its threads of knowledge.

They exist amongst us as Journalists, Bards, Old Men sitting on a porch with a glass of lemonade recanting old experiences. If you ask nicely, and your lucky to find the chosen few, a Schola can breathe life into any illusion, any thought.

[The Metal Mallet]

Since Christmas is just around the corner, I thought I would add this to the Temple to celebrate. This script will hopefully be performed at my school for their Holiday Assembly. Hopefully they have decent actors, or else my work will be ruined! Anyways, this script might be a little rough sounding, since I didn't really have time to edit it as I was working off a deadline. It's meant to be comedic and serious at moments.

Anyways, here it is!


A Christmas Murder Mystery!
By: The Metal Mallet

Characters: Santa, Mrs. Clause, Rudolph, Elf, Angel, Snowman, Blitzen, and the Inspector, as well as extras.

Scene 1- The Murder:

Mrs. Claus, Elf, Angel, and Snowman begin on stage scattered around the room or looking as if they’re in conversation. Shortly, Santa, Rudolph, and Blitzen enter.

Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! Excellent work this evening. Excellent work!

Rudolph and Blitzen: Thanks Santa.

Mrs. Claus (rushing over to Santa): It’s good to see you all back and safe! Did the delivering of presents go well?

Santa: Splendid my Sugar plum! We almost collided with a plane, but Rudolph’s nose caught it well before we were in danger.

Mrs. Claus: Oh my! (She turns to Rudolph.) Thank you so much Rudolph! You’re always so helpful!

Rudolph (beaming a smile): It’s the least I can do, Mrs. C!

Blitzen rolls his eyes and walks over to the Elf. Santa, Mrs. Claus, and Rudolph continue to look like they’re talking to each other.

Blitzen: Hello Freddy, how’s it going now that you’re done making toys for a little while?

Elf (with a slur): Grrreat! I’ve all ready gotten into the “Nog”! (Elf air quotes the word, Nog).

Blitzen: (sighs) So it seems… (Looks over and sees Santa patting Rudolph’s back) Bah! Why does he have to get all the attention!? It wasn’t even foggy this year, but they still gush about him and his nose. It’s me who has to do all the grunt work. Why don’t I get a thank you?

The Angel glides over to the Elf and Blitzen, The Snowman follows.

Angel: Jealousy is not part of the Holiday Spirit, Blitzen.

Blitzen: I didn’t ask for your two cents, Angel.

Angel huffs and crosses their arms.

Snowman: Well here’s my two cents. Rudolph’s a spoiled punk!

Blitzen: Yea!!! (Gives him a high-five.)

Angel (glares at the two of them): You two should be ashamed at yourselves! Rudolph has a valuable gift, but you still don’t appreciate him!

Elf: (Groans) You’re nagging is killing my buzz, Angel! Can’t you fly off over there or something? ( waves in a direction away from them)

The Angel glares at the three, but glides away.

Attention is returned to Santa, Rudolph and Mrs. Claus

Mrs. Claus: Well I hope you didn’t stuff yourself on cookies and milk, because I made a big meal for everyone!

Santa: Of course I didn’t. I'm starting to get SICK of cookies and I always have room for your cooking.

Rudolph: Yea Mrs. C, your food rocks! Particularly the peas, mmmmm… peas.

Mrs. Claus: Aww how sweet of you, Rudolph. (She pats Rudolph and makes “smooch” noises)

Santa: All right everyone! At the table! Time to eat.

Everyone on set sits at the table setup. It’s setup to have Santa facing the audience at the end of the table, and everyone else is along the sides. To Santa’s right are Mrs. Claus, then the Angel, then the Elf. On Santa’s left is Rudolph, followed by the Snowman, followed by Blitzen.

Mrs. Claus: Dig in, everyone!

Everyone pretends to eat.

The lights suddenly cut out.

Mrs. Claus: Oh my! The power must be out.

Santa: Candy canes! (supposed to sound like he’s cursing)

Angel shrieks.

Elf giggling: Hehe, sorry Angel.

Horror soundtrack kicks in. I was thinking like the music for the shower scene in Psycho.

Sounds of struggle are made, and Rudolph’s nose light turns off.

Lights come back on, and everyone is sitting at their right seat, only Rudolph’s head is slumped on the table.

Santa: Well that’s better. (notices Rudolph) Holy Yuletide!

Snowman: He’s dead!

Elf: I’m going to be sick! (rushes off the stage)

Lights go off.

(End of Scene 1)


Scene 2 - The Investigation:

Lights come on and reveal the Inspector standing with Santa and Mrs. Claus. The Elf is on the far side of the stage with a bucket, The Angel is off by herself, and The Snowman and Blitzen are together nearby the table. Rudolph is still facedown on the table.

Mrs. Claus: We’re so glad you were able to make it, Inspector. Being Christmas and all…

Inspector: Not a problem, crime never sleeps or rests. Not even for the holidays… (pauses) Plus, you’re rewarding me with Egg Nog right? Damn, I love that stuff!

Elf groans from across the stage and leans into his bucket.

Santa: He had too much Nog.

The Inspector nods and heads over to Rudolph, taking out a notepad. He shakes his head sadly.

Inspector: Talk about a last meal…. He was smothered to death by this food. (jots some notes) All right, umm… Can we get someone to remove the body?

A couple of extras come onstage and remove Rudolph off the stage.

Inspector: All right, I need everyone here.

Everyone onstage gathers around the Inspector. The Elf makes sure to bring his bucket.

Inspector: Obviously, one of you murdered Rudolph, so you’re all suspects. What I intend to do is interrogate you all individually. Starting with you, Mrs. Claus.

Inspector and Mrs. Claus walk away from the group.

Inspector: First things, first. What are your feelings about Rudolph?

Mrs. Claus (tearfully): I loved that little angel! He was such a darling. I would never do anything to hurt him.

Inspector (jotting down notes): Do you know anyone who disliked or would be provoked to attack him?

Mrs. Claus: Of course not! This is the North Pole. We’re all nice people up here… except for those Yetis… Maybe they did it!!

Inspector: Mrs. Claus… I don’t think the Yetis had anything to do with this.

Mrs. Claus: You never know! Those Yetis are tricky beasts!

Inspector (sounding tired): That’ll be all, Mrs. Claus. Can you tell Santa that he’s next.

Mrs. Claus nods and goes over to Santa. She motions that he’s next and he goes over to the Inspector.

Inspector: Were you jealous of the attention Mrs. Claus gave to Rudolph?

Santa: What? What are you talking about?

Inspector: Admit it! You were jealous of him. Mrs. Claus told me she loved him. He was her little darling. You must’ve noticed this attention and it just burned you up inside! So you decided to finally get rid of him, to save your marriage.

Santa: That’s insane! I’ve been married to my wife since before I was even called Santa! We love each other very much! Plus, I couldn’t have killed him.

Inspector: And why couldn’t you?

Santa: (Hesitates and finally hangs his head.) Because I’m overweight. It takes me a long time to get out of that chair…. There! You happy!? I’m a blimp! Satisfied?

Inspector: Woah! I’m sorry Santa. I didn’t think it would go there.

Santa (sobbing): Well it did! You…. you jerk!

Inspector: Well…. Ummm… That’s all I need from you. You couldn’t have possibly done it. Can you get… the Angel for me?

Santa (sniffling): Okay…

Santa goes off and gets the Angel, who walks over to the Inspector.

Angel: Do you seriously think I’m a suspect? I’m an Angel for Gosh sakes!

Inspector: Everyone in that room is a suspect, including you. Besides…. (Pauses) You’re past isn’t a very clean one, Diabella.

Angel: How do you know that!? That was my name before I got my wings.

Inspector: We keep good records down at the precinct. Have you been killing any hobos lately?

Angel: No! That’s behind me now! Honest!

Inspector: Is it now? (Waves off stage and an extra walks on) This is Larry, he’s homeless.

Angel starts fidgeting and eventually charges the extra off the stage. Screams come from off stage but are quickly silenced. The Angel walks back onstage, brushing off their hands.

Angel: Okay, maybe I haven’t stopped my “habit”. But Rudolph’s not a hobo.

Inspector: You’re right! Ohwell, bring me the Snowman.

Angel goes gets the Snowman.

Snowman: Howdy.

Inspector: Well Mr. Snowman (pauses) Wait, Snowman? Isn’t it like 20 degrees in here? Why aren’t you melting?

Snowman: Well you see, I got this chip installed in the back of my head. This chip regulates the emission of liquid nitrogen that travels throughout my body to keep my nice and frosty! The liquid nitrogen comes from another device within my body.

Inspector: Well… I didn’t understand a word of that.

Snowman: (sighs) Basically, I have an air conditioner stuck inside of me.

Inspector: Oh! I understand that!

Snowman (sarcastically): Of course you do.

Inspector: So, does that make you part robot?

Snowman: I guess so.

Inspector: Isn’t there some law that says that robots are incapable of killing humans?

Snowman: Yes, I believe there is. Guess I couldn’t have done it then eh?

Inspector: But you’re only part robot.

Snowman: So? The rest of me is snowman, an inanimate mound of snow with buttons and carrots stuck into it.

Inspector: You got me! You’re free to go, I guess I’ll speak with the Elf next.

Snowman leaves.

Inspector: Wow, I’m dealing with a bunch of crazies here…

Light goes off.

End of Scene 2

Scene 3 - The Conclusion:

Lights come on, the Inspector is still at his spot from the last scene. The Elf is with him, their head is leaning into the bucket though. All the other characters are at the other end of the stage where they were left.

Inspector: Obviously, you were far too drunk to commit the murder. You really need to learn how to drink Egg Nog.

The Elf nods and groans into his bucket.

Inspector: Well, you’re free to go. Get me my last suspect, Blitzen.

The Elf goes and gets Blitzen.

Inspector: Well, Blitzen, how do you feel?

Blitzen: A little nervous I guess; I’ve never been interrogated before. Plus, Rudolph being dead has shaken me up a bit.

Inspector: I see. Describe to me your relationship with Rudolph.

Blitzen: We were team mates, partners, and friends. Without that nose of his, if we ever got into bad weather, we’d have trouble navigating through it. He was very valuable to our team.

Inspector: So you had a mutual respect for each other?

Blitzen: Yes we did. Sure, there were times where I would get annoyed with him, but there were times he felt the exact same way with me. We always dealt with it though.

Inspector: Were you annoyed with him tonight?

Blitzen: No I wasn’t.

The Inspector stares at him briefly, judging his believability.

Inspector: Okay. You’re free to go. I need a few seconds to myself.

Blitzen nods and walks away from Inspector.

Inspector: (sighs) Who could’ve done it? Santa was supposedly too big to get out of his chair to do it, Mrs. Claus liked him too much to do it, in a creepy sort of way. Then there’s the Angel; she’s a hobo killer, but not a reindeer killer, the Snowman can’t kill because he’s part robot and snowman, and both are unable to kill people. The Elf likely passed out shortly after the lights went out, and Blitzen seemed genuinely in grief.

Pauses

Wait, why did the lights go out?

Inspector walks over to the murder scene and notices a light switch behind Blitzen’s chair.

Inspector: All right! Everyone come here, I figured it out!

All the characters gather around the Inspector.

Inspector: After careful deliberation, I have figured out who killed Rudolph. (Pauses Dramatically and points at Blitzen) It was Blitzen the Reindeer!

Everyone gasps and Blitzen looks shocked.

Blitzen: Me!? You have no proof!

Inspector: Oh but I do. Look at this light switch, I know it’s been used lately and in an odd way. See there’s marking here that tell me you used your antlers to flick it. That’s how the lights “suddenly” went off during the murder.

Secondly, you’re the only one that acted the least bit normal around me, so that makes you the most suspicious in my books.

Blitzen gets angry.

Blitzen: Fine! I did it! But the little runt deserved it! I’m the one who did all the work! He only coasted around up front and used his nose for light every once and a wile. He was a total suck up and was asking for me to put him down. (He turns to Santa) Don’t you know this is the 21st Century! They have fog lights now! Candy canes!

Inspector: I’ve heard enough. (Looks offstage behind him) Take him away.

Extras come on and start dragging a struggling Blitzen offstage.

Blitzen: No! I can’t go to prison! No! I would’ve gotten away with it if any one of you freaks were normal!

The Extras finally get Blitzen offstage.

Santa: I would’ve never thought it would be Blitzen. This is my entire fault. I should’ve treated them both equally.

Inspector: (Puts an arm around Santa’s shoulders) Yea… you probably should’ve. But that’s in the past now. Now it’s time for me to get my reward.

Mrs. Claus: Of course, I’ll make an order to have a large supply of Egg Nog delivered to your home.

Inspector: That would be fantastic! (rubs hands greedily)

Mrs. Claus begins to walk offstage when Rudolph shouts offstage.

Rudolph: Hey! Hey! (Rudolph jogs out onto the stage, Hallelujah music plays) I’m alive! It’s a miracle!

Santa (shocked): Is that you, Rudolph?

Rudolph: Yes it is! I saw this white light, and then I saw some gates, but then Angel’s brother or something told me to go back! This is so awesome!

The Inspector turns around and pulls out a gun and points it at Rudolph.

Inspector: No! It’s an impostor!

Rudolph: What? No, I’m Rudolph. Look, I got the shining nose and everything!

Inspector: Anyone can make a shining nose, this is the 21st Century. Plus, you aren’t ruining my reward! I’m getting my Egg Nog!

Rudolph begins to back away offstage and the Inspector follows him. Once both are offstage a gun noise is played, followed by a short pause.

Rudolph (from offstage): Argh! My leg! You shot me in the leg! Are you drunk or something? Why would you do that!?

Gun noise shoots again. This time it’s followed by silence and The Inspector returns onstage and puts away his gun.

Inspector (dangerous/threatening tone): Nothing happened back there.

Everyone nods.

Inspector: Excellent, now someone go get me my Egg Nog!


Lights go off. End of Scene 3, end of play.







I only had 9 minutes to work with, so I kinda feel that some of the dialogue is a little rushed. Oh well, I'm still happy with it!