Thornsink, My first fan fic! Options

[~Jalnos~]

“Ugh….help, please” My voice faded in the darkness. I had been pulling myself along the ground using the grass for hours, maybe even a day. My left leg hanging by a mere thread, my life along with it. Gasping for water, a small settlement came into view. I tried to call out to the group of Argonians and Orcs that were talking, yet not a sound came out of my mouth, only a cough of blood.
The determination to stay alive was the only thing that kept me going, trying to reach to the village so that they could provide me with drink. After realising that they would not notice me as long as I was on the ground, so with my last ounce of energy, I pulled my Mage staff from my back, stabbed it in the ground, and used it as a prop to stand up. As the very last of my plagued spirit was used to stand up, and ounce of hope was swept into my body, as a young Argonian woman sitting at the edge of the town spotted me, standing alone in blood stained tattered robes, crying.
She called a large Orc over to carry me into the inn, and as I was lifted, all went black.
“I wonder what happened to him”

“Well, he has a huge dent down here on his left, which gives me the suspicion of a war hammer hit, and the gashes are certainly blade cuts, no wolf could cut so viciously.”

“But who would do that to an innocent person”

“You cannot be certain that he is innocent, never judge people like that, it can end up getting you killed.”

“I suppose” and the voices faded away…

I awoke in a small wooden in, a beautiful young Argonian looking over me. “’Morning, mister!” She said in an elegant voice. “Golog, he’s awake!” she called over her shoulder, and was approached by a large Orc.
"Friend!” he called in a surprising jolly voice for such a burly Orc. “Welcome to the small town of Thornsink! Feel free to stay!”
“Th- Thornsink?” I stuttered back at him, glancing around the wall, all carved with intricate patterns and swirls.
“Impressive eh?” The Orc asked after observing me looking around the room. “My great great grandfather built this with is own two hands, a real role model.” He told me with great pride. “You look confused, let me explain, my great great grandfather was good friends with an Argonian warrior name Jomaaja. He and Jo decided to leave busy life, and set up their own settlement, so behold, Thornsink! It was named after my great’s signature blade that he defeated a bandit war party with. Anyway, enough rabble, shall I show you around?” The Orc said with a smile.

After a long tour round the Orc and Argonian village, the Orc named Golog-Mro-Borg took me into a dark corner and requested me of some assistance.
“Friend, I am about to ask you of a favour worth more than a thousand Septims. Recently, despite the others not knowing, the Thornsink blade that was holed up it a cavern below us, was stolen, I, friend am asking you to retrieve it. The reward I will pay is, the town’s gratitude, trust, 100 Septims and Jomaaja’s armour, one that the pattern so intricate not even a master crafter could replicate it. Do you accept?”

This is just kinda' a starter for this, what do you guys think?
I appreciate all comments/criticism is welcome.

This post has been edited by ~Jalnos~: May 4 2007, 09:26 PM

[~Jalnos~]

Sorry for the double post, but it's sort of a bumb too, as my newest part is out. Sorry it took so long to update, I've had a really bad case of the flu recently, preventing me from getting up, although every now and again I have popped in.
But I'm all better now, so hopefully updates will be coming more quickly.

Thornsink: Part 2
“Erm, well sure… But wh-? Never mind, I better get some rest before I do anything, let my wound heal up y’know? “ I replied to his proposition.
“You should go see Tee- la again, I hear she made a new healing potion for your leg.” Golog-Mro-Borg replied, as he smiled walking away.
Pondering to myself what I had just accepted, and why it was offered, I walked round the town. Only about 5 houses, an Inn and a sheepfold made the settlement. It was a very quiet village, it was a rare occasion for more than two people to be outside. Knowing the fact I would get some peace and quiet if I stayed where I was, I sat and thought. Why does he trust me? Is this a conspiracy? Do they want to kill me? Why am I so suspicious? I need to get my head straight. I thought, as I dozed off into a gentle.. soft sleep.

“This punk better be going down there, otherwise the plan will never commence.”

“Don’t worry, he will, and then the army will be complete, and our names will be written in history forever!”

I awoke to the sound of voices.. yet nobody shared the air of the outside with me. As I began to lean up from the bench, I felt my leg pain kick in. “Argh!” I cried, "Better get to Tee–la, get this baby healed." I muttered to myself.
As I approached Tee-la’s house, I felt a shiver down my scaly spine. I turned round to, once again be stared in the face by nothing apart from air. I shook my head, and opened the door.
“Hey Tee.” I called on entry of the small shack. She popped out from the corner, a wet clay bowl and a cloth in her hand, smiling.
“Hi Jalnos, good to see you.” She said. “Is your leg healing?”
I smiled at her, “Yep, thanks to that potion of yours, you’re quite the alchemist.”
She blushed at me “Just a little every now and again.” She walked back into her small, wooden kitchen, and came back with a pink, fizzling potion. “Here you go” she said as she handed the bottle over to me. Just dab a bit on a cloth, then rub it on the wound, and it will be healed soon enough.” She told me whilst handing me a small, green cloth.
As I followed her instructions, we began talking, me telling her of my past, and what I was once like, what star sign we are, and we kept talking. “How did your leg get like that?” Was eventually asked. “Just curious,” She added.
I nodded in understanding, paused, and then told her “I was with my family, quite a big family mind you, we were camped out at the fort Burstrius somewhere south from here.” I told her. “My mother wanted us to move out of town, and just when we where about to make building an active thing, terror struck, one of those wretched Oblivion gates opened up just a little west, and we were being plagued by Daedra, so we ran, and temporarily settled at the fort. I suggested that I would go inside the gate and find a way to close it, but my mother told me not too, as it is far too dangerous, and I have only fought things like Skeletons, Zombies, Goblins and Bandits.” I paused
“A few days later, we were raided by an army of creatures, which looked deeply like Dremora, yet had Orc features, which is still a mystery to me.” They slew my family heartlessly, and went for me, my side was pummelled by a war hammer, and my leg sliced by a blade, before I fell off the first floor of stone castle. The creatures assumed that I was dead, and left me, lying on the ground, bleeding. From there, I waited for them to leave, then I crawled along the forest ground, and found here.” I smiled, as I stood up to check my leg. I stamped that foot a few times to see if it was alright, then I smiled in the fact I had to limp no longer. “Thanks again Tee-la” I said, giving her a kiss in my thanks. I smiled again and walked out the small house, and back out into the open fresh air.
I ran over to the inn to check the stability of my leg, and entered. “Golog-Mro-Borg” I called, and the big smiley Orc came to me “I’m ready to get that blade” I told him.
He grinned “Perfect, it was in the catacombs below the town, that should be your starting point.” I nodded at him as he pointed to a small trap door at the corner of the inn. He unlocked it with a rusty iron key, and I jumped down into a cavern darker than black.

Once again, all C&C is welcome, thanks for all the previous tips too!