The Tale Of Jerrick, Chapter 1 Options

[Shinnok]

My name is Jerrick Ettiene, son of Claude Ettiene and Arrielle Ettiene. I am Breton born and raised in High Rock. I had few luxuries for my father was a Fisherman. We lived in a small cottage near the Bjoulsae River living off the fish my father caught. At the age of 12 my father let me go hunt in the forests to provide for my Mother who fell ill. That's when it all started.
I was 18 and I left to the forests when I found a dead guard against a tree stump, horrified I ran foward to see barbarians ripping each others flesh off. Next to the gruesome onslaught were dozens of dead guards.
There remained only one of these madmen he checked to see if anyone one else stood in the forest and he saw me. I jumped forward ready for battle, he circled around me waiting for the right time to strike. But anxiety took the best of me and I rushed towards him axe in hand. Before I could start my Hack N
Slash tactic he kicked me in chest sending me flying backwards.
I fell nearly 10 feet away from where I was. Know I knew the measure of his strength . I waited for him to attack this time. He lunged towards me so I rolled to the side and plunged my axe into his shoulder he howled in pain but with another kick I again went flying. Acting quickly he ran to strike a final blow but I hid behind a tree into which he jumped face first paralyzing him for a few seconds.
I punched him in the face trying to get in any hit I could, trying make his nose bleed and pop his eardrums. He fell I picked my axe from his shoulder and plunged it into his head killing him.

[The Metal Mallet]

Well reading it makes me remember another little helping hint for ya. It deals with the way you're using your quotation marks. (" ")

Take this sentence for example:

" Amazing, you were able to do it in one try". " You are dismissed".

Since both sentences are the words of the character, you only need one set of quotation marks. One that starts before Amazing, the one after Dismissed. You would only do it the way you did above if you have some narration inbetween the sentences. I'll so you an example:

"Amazing, yo wer able to do it in one try," the instructor said in shock, "You are dismissed."


The stuff that aren't the words the character is actually saying don't have quotation marks around them, so both sentences in this case need quotations around them.


Other than that, keep up the good work. Hope my advice helps.