The Tale Of Jerrick, Chapter 1 Options

[Shinnok]

My name is Jerrick Ettiene, son of Claude Ettiene and Arrielle Ettiene. I am Breton born and raised in High Rock. I had few luxuries for my father was a Fisherman. We lived in a small cottage near the Bjoulsae River living off the fish my father caught. At the age of 12 my father let me go hunt in the forests to provide for my Mother who fell ill. That's when it all started.
I was 18 and I left to the forests when I found a dead guard against a tree stump, horrified I ran foward to see barbarians ripping each others flesh off. Next to the gruesome onslaught were dozens of dead guards.
There remained only one of these madmen he checked to see if anyone one else stood in the forest and he saw me. I jumped forward ready for battle, he circled around me waiting for the right time to strike. But anxiety took the best of me and I rushed towards him axe in hand. Before I could start my Hack N
Slash tactic he kicked me in chest sending me flying backwards.
I fell nearly 10 feet away from where I was. Know I knew the measure of his strength . I waited for him to attack this time. He lunged towards me so I rolled to the side and plunged my axe into his shoulder he howled in pain but with another kick I again went flying. Acting quickly he ran to strike a final blow but I hid behind a tree into which he jumped face first paralyzing him for a few seconds.
I punched him in the face trying to get in any hit I could, trying make his nose bleed and pop his eardrums. He fell I picked my axe from his shoulder and plunged it into his head killing him.

[jack cloudy]

Holy frick! That is just brutal! At first I thought it was a joke, but no way. The 'hero' seems to have adapted quite readily to it though. Frankly, I'm kinda doubting if I should call him a hero. My definition of hero is a bit more reluctant to kill. Ah well, it gives an interesting take on the guards. A rather bloodthirsty take perhaps, but still a take. (What the heck, that last sentence didn't come out right.)

And a tip from me is to watch the end of the sentences during dialogue, you have the habit of doing this.
"I say hello".
The point needs to come before the quotationmarks, like this.
"I say hello."

You also tend to forget the questionmark during a question.

Hope this helps.