QUOTE(Kiln @ Jun 30 2007, 04:20 PM)

Took me quite some time to read up on this story but I must say that it is written quite well with plenty of content and excellent dialogue. The only thing I'd like to see is a little more description of the character's free time. It seems that right after the character gets done with each 'mission' there is no intermission between them...no free time for the character to do as it likes. Very well done though and I enjoy your style very much. Please continue.
As for the writing the character's free time ... it is a matter of pacing, of detail, of knowing what to omit (calls of nature) and what to keep (interesting dialog) , what to only tell and what to actually show. It is a precarious balance

and I will try to do a better job of it.

Thank you for the comments.

--
Chapter 10. Swimmer
"Rashelle, we have another problem," said Falco.
I could not help but grin. We always had a problem.
"Go on."
"Well, the new ship has arrived and the men have already loaded it up with ebony. This is our first large shipment. It will put Raven Rock in the black. If this fails, Carnius will most likely start to make things difficult."
I nodded and asked, "but what is the problem? I see the ship there and I see nothing wrong with it, at least from a distance. Why can't they depart?"
Falco sighed.
"The problem is the captain of that ship, Baro Egnatius. He has suddenly decided that he wants an outrageous extra payment or his boat will just stay there."
"He is refusing to deliver the shipment?"
"Exactly. I don't know what to do and I hope you can somehow find a solution. As before ..."
"... don't kill anyone," I finished for him.
"Exactly."
"Falco, though my appearance may belie this, I don't like unnecessary killing. You do not need to keep telling me not to kill anyone."
"Unnecessary?"
"When someone has just slashed at you with their weapon, wouldn't you then agree that it is necessary to kill them?"
"Understood, Rashelle. I am sorry."
"It's all right. Let me go talk to this Baro now."
"Thank you, Rashelle."
I began to walk towards the shoreline. It felt strange to have to walk around buildings that had not been there a mere few days ago. At this rate of growth, I would soon not be able to see the water from the mine entrance.
I threaded my way between two houses and at last I arrived at the recently-constructed dock.
A gangplank led from the dock to the ship. Next to the gangplank stood an Imperial.
"Greetings, I am Rashelle. Are you Captain Baro Egnatius?"
"No no no! The accent is on the third syllable. Eg-na-TEEE-us. Yes, I am he."
"Very well then, sera: I understand that you are asking for an extra payment?"
"Yes indeed!" he said. "They don't pay me enough and for a cargo like this, I demand more money! Like I told your boss, my boat doesn't go anywhere until I see some serious gold."
"I see."
I could probably intimidate this Imperial as I had the Nord. I could maybe even rough him up a bit ... but I did not what to. I did not want to solve every problem by beating people up. I frowned.
"If you're not going to give me the money, you'd better go away, otherwise you might get hurt."
I gave him my Look and I adjusted my sheath so that it clanked against my cuirass.
"Ha! Your armor and sword does not scare me! I've seen better fighters than you. My buddy Elberoth is very formidable with his saber. After seeing him fight, you're nothing. That big sword wouldn't help you at all against him."
"Elberoth, the former ship captain?"
"Ha! Nothing 'former' about him. There's not a man alive that can beat that wily Bosmer. Now there's a Mer who knows swordplay."
"He's dead."
"You lie. Leave me now, Breton, before I get really angry."
I turned and walked away. Had I stayed any longer, I would have thrashed that fetcher. That might have gotten him to take the shipment and leave, but he would never come back and we'd have to look for another ship to haul future cargos to the mainland. That would cause delay, extra expenses and the unwanted attention of Carnius.
Through the falling snow, I returned to Falco.
"What news Rashelle?"
"Nothing yet. He's being a s'wit. When you buried the bodies from the shipwreck, what did you do with the Bosmer captain's saber?"
"Elberoth, right? We took all the weapons from the bodies because we need them here."
I nodded.
"I gave the saber to Apronia. I know she's not good with it but it is better than nothing. We are on the frontier: she needs have a weapon, any weapon. Though she objected, I insisted she carry it."
"Falco, I may need to take that saber."
He raised an eyebrow.
"It's a long story."
"Never mind, Rashelle. I am sure you have an excellent reason. Whatever you decide to do, I'll approve it."
"Thank you."
As it was noon, most of the men were having lunch. They were standing around a fire. Over the fire was a roasting frost boar. They'd skewered it on a long metal rod and were turning it. It smelled delicious and my stomach growled.
"Hey Rashelle, have some," said one of the men.
As I approached the fire, I could see that Apronia was eating with the men, nibbling daintily at a chunk of meat in her hands. I imagined that she'd prefer a table and plates ... but we didn't have those yet.
I drew my silver dagger and, reaching down between Apronia and one of the men, cut myself a piece. Apronia flinched: I guess she didn't like my frontier manners. I smiled: this was the frontier.
"Relax, just cutting myself a piece. You think I was going to knife you or something?"
She laughed nervously as she stared at the dagger, "Ah, no, of course not. How silly of me."
Her eyes followed my dagger as I wiped grease from it. Only after I had sheathed it did she return to eating. Strange.
I took a bite of the meat. It was delicious. From the taste, someone had poured some mazte over the boar as it was cooking.
I now noticed that Apronia was wearing a sheathed saber at her side.
"Apronia, can I take your saber?"
"Well, Falco was kind of insistent that I wear it."
"I've cleared it with him. I need it for a problem we're having."
"Why not use your big sword?"
"Well, it's not that kind of problem. I need that sword because it is recognizable as Captain Elberoth's."
"OK." she said as she pulled the sword out from the sheath.
"Thank you," I said as I took the offered sword. "If all goes well, I may be able to return it. If not, I will find you a replacement."
"Take your time, Rashelle. It's heavy and I don't like it."
I nodded, suppressing an urge to smirk, and and walked away.
Still eating, I made my way back to the dock.
Baro looked at my drawn sword and said "you again. Are you trying to scare me with that sword? Ha!"
I slowly raised the saber and rotated it so that he could get a good look at it.
"Hey, that's ... that's his blade. You've got Elberoth's saber!"
"I told you, he is dead."
He looked from the sword to my face. I grinned and took another bite of the meat.
"How did you ... but where... so it's true? He's dead? You don't mean to tell me that you ... I mean, you didn't ... you didn't kill him, did you?"
I chewed, swallowed and then said: "I'm not saying that I did, sera."
"Okay, listen. Maybe I made a bit of a mistake, all right? How about I just take the ship and deliver the ore, and we won't have any sort of problem at all. Just ... just don't hurt me. Look, I'm going now, see?"
"Good day to you, muthsera."
He ran up the gangplank and onto his ship, shouting orders to his crew. They would be departing shortly. I had scared him enough to leave, yet I had done so in such a way that he would return for the next shipment.
Feeling rather satisfied at the way in which I had resolved that situation, I strode back to the fire.
"Thank you, Apronia," I said as I handed her the saber, hilt first.
She smiled and sheathed it. "Glad I could help."
I approached Falco and informed him of the good news.
"That is excellent, Rashelle. That's one less problem I have to worry about. Now, if I could find out who is swiping the ebony I could be happy."
"Someone is stealing ebony? How long has this been going on?"
"I noticed it about a day or two ago. By tracking the work schedules against the times that ore goes missing, I am fairly sure that Uryn Maren is involved. I searched his house but there was no ebony there. He's either got another hiding place or ... I don't know."
I nodded.
"Perhaps you could sneak around in the mine and watch him: you could then catch him in the act."
I remembered Uryn. He was one of the first three that I had escorted to the colony. I nodded.
"Thank you, Rashelle."
I walked to the mine and entered. After the whiteness of the falling snow, I had to stop and wait for my eyes adjust to the dim torch-light.
Once I could see, I quietly walked down the mine passage. At each branch, I chose a direction randomly, since I did not know exactly where Uryn was.
In a short time, I caught sight of him. I slipped on my chameleon ring and began to creep stealthily. He turned and walked towards me so I silently pressed myself into the side of the tunnel.
Unaware of my presence, he walked past. I turned and silently followed. He turned into a chamber currently being used as a storage area. No one else was around. He lifted the lid of one of the crates and from it he removed two pieces of ebony.
I silently strode into the room, slipped off the ring and cleared my throat.
"Oh, err, hello Rashelle."
I remained silent.
"I'll bet you are wondering why I've got these pieces of, umm, ore in my hands."
My gaze transfixed him.
"OK, OK. I've been stealing it, but Carnius told me to! It's his orders."
"Put the ebony back in the crate."
He did so.
"We are going to the surface. After you."
We walked upwards through the mine and outside without incident. I brought him to Falco and explained the situation.
"For now, I'm confining you to your quarters." said Falco.
We walked to his house. Falco took his key and locked him in.
"I'm glad that you found the culprit, but that is now one less man working. The fact that Carnius is behind this just makes it worse."
I remained silent.
"Rashelle, with the testimony from this man, we have Carnius. Go and confront him with this information."
"With pleasure. By your leave ... ?"
He nodded. I cast Divine Intervention.
I entered the Imperial Cult building and ran up the stairs to the upper floor. Carnius was in his office.
"You again."
"Uryn has been stealing ore. He says you ordered him to do it."
That's me, subtle as an atronach.
"Ridiculous. Why would I steal from my own project? If that man has indeed been stealing, then he was just making up a poor excuse to divert blame from himself. Go away."
I left. It was clear that I was was wasting my time.
I went down to the Cult chapel and bought some ingredients from Joleen. I had meant to do this yesterday but events had distracted me. There was no pressing need to make the potions immediately so, after bidding him good day, I Recalled to Raven Rock and told Falco what had occurred.
"I'm not surprised," he replied. "I'll draft a letter to send to headquarters. It will be sent out on the next ship, which will be arriving here tomorrow. They will deal with the Carnius problem. For now, there is nothing more to be done."
"Falco, I will then resume my task for the Skaal."
"Yes, good idea. Thank you for all of your help today."
I nodded and strode away, towards the north. My next destination was the Water Stone. According to the map in the book, it was located not far northeast of Geilir the Mumbling's place.
The snow continued to fall, as it had been since I left Thirsk. The beauty of Solstheim almost made me forget about my problems. Thoughts of Carnius, Fryse Hags and werewolves slipped away as I walked.
Luck was with me in that I did not have to fight off any animals until after I had traveled for some time. This soothing interval was much appreciated.
Of course, it did not last. After hiking over a small hill I was set upon by two Spriggans. I fought through those, three times each.
Soon I stumbled onto a pack of wolves. From the lighter coloring, I recognized them as a particular breed of wolf that was known to carry contagious diseases. They were thus referred to as "plague wolves."
As disease no longer affected me, their bites and claws were the only thing I needed to concern myself with. With fire and sword I fought them.
I finished off the last wolf and looked up to see a lone Fryse Hag. She was about thirty paces away. My grip tightened on my sword and I felt my features harden. I recognized her red hair, bound in a pony tail, and her face. She was the one from the other day ... the one who I had actually talked with. Her eyes met mine. Instead of attacking, she disappeared into the snow. I rushed forward to pursue, but she was gone and I saw no tracks: perhaps she had Recalled.
I proceeded in a more cautious fashion: I was expecting to walk into another ambush. I crossed water twice without incident.
The terrain here was devoid of foliage: there was only ice and snow, a sweeping expanse of white and more white ... with hints of blue and gray here and there. Though desolate, it was beautiful.
A patrol of mounted rieklings distracted me from my esthetic appreciation. There were five of them and I had to take a potion before I had slain them all. It seemed that as I went further north, there were more of them. Later on I was to learn that this observation was correct: riekling territory is essentially the northwest portion of the island, a region entirely lacking in plant life and covered with snow and ice year-round.
The Water Stone rose from the west face of a mountain. Since it was a dark gray, it stood out from the whiteness of the rest of the landscape. Instead of a Nordic rune, this Stone had several horizontal wavy lines carved into it; an obvious symbol for water. I placed my hand on it, as I had with the Earth stone.
There was a sensation of contact and voice in my head said: "Travel west to a small island off the coast, and follow the Swimmer to seek the Water of Life."
Through the falling snow I strode west. I crossed an ice-covered river once and, after fighting through some rieklings, I reached the west coast. I didn't want to swim so I cast a water walking spell.
It was not long before I reached a little island. I knew this was the right place because a black horker, as described in the Shaman's book, was resting on the island. I approached. He raised one flipper and rolled to one side. I rubbed his belly and he made a sound indicating pleasure, as had the one on the lake. He was so cute!
After a minute or so of this, the horker rolled back and, with surprising speed, scooted into the water. He wanted me to follow him. From my pack, I extracted my books. I placed them on the ground. I did not want them to get wet. Sighing, I cast Water Walk and stepped onto the water.
The black horker swam straight north. Though under the water, he was close enough to the surface that he was still visible. I followed. A Breton in armor running through falling snow, on the water, following a horker: what a sight we must have made, had anyone been there to see it!
After a surprisingly long time, perhaps a quarter of an hour, he dived.
I waited. He came back up to the surface and gave me a look that I could only interpret as "well, what are you waiting for?"
I like cold but even I have my limits. I did not want to be in that near-freezing water. Also, I hate being in any water larger than a bath tub.
The horker dived again. I sighed, cast a water breathing spell and canceled my water walking spell. I sank like a stone.
The water grew darker with depth. I began to have trouble seeing the horker. I was uncomfortably cold. Something slashed at me: a druegh. I fought the beast and then looked around. I could not see the horker and I was freezing. I cast the water breathing spell again and continued my descent: maybe we would meet up on the bottom.
I reached the bottom shortly. I cast a Night Eye spell. It was good that I had learned the method of casting spells without speech: otherwise I would have been helpless in this deep water.
The horker hovered near a mound with a hole in it: an entrance to a cave. I hoped there was warmth in there: I was starting to lose sensation in my limbs and I felt so slow. I was shivering and so cold. Maybe I would just stand still for a moment and ...
I woke up, blinking. The horker bumped against me and my water breathing spell ran out. I shook my head and cast the spell again. If I dozed off again, I would die. I was so cold!
Into the hole I went. It twisted and it turned. it bent down, then to the left and then to the right. I lost all sense of direction. I could not even ascertain up or down. It was so dark and so cold. Maybe I could just rest for a moment.
No! I forced myself to press on. I saw light ahead. I swam for the light. I was rewarded with ... air. I was now standing in waste-deep water. I coughed a double lungful of water. It was a pleasure to simply breath air again.
A directionless blue-white glow revealed that I was in an ice cave. I had no idea the cause of the glow but I welcomed it.
The attacking skeleton I welcomed with a fireball. The spell did not seem to do as much damage as expected: this was a tougher than average skeleton. Later I learned that this was a type known as the skeleton berserker, an undead with the added strength and ferocity of a mortal berserker. Rapidly, the skeleton slashed at me. Its sword clanged against my cuirass several times before I could sluggishly swing Chrysamere. The skeleton blocked with its shield. Starting to warm up and also beginning to move faster, I brought my claymore down again: this time the shield shattered. I parried a sword-thrust and then chopped: the skeleton fell apart.
I emerged from the water onto the icy floor of the cave. The cave only extended ten paces or so: it was a dead end. I searched and found a spoiled water breathing potion and a water walking potion. I kept searching. In a crevice in an icy wall I found a small bottle. I could not identify it. I placed my thumb and fingers around the cork, intending to open it ... when I hesitated. Maybe this bottle was the "waters of life"? If so, I should not open it anywhere but by the Water Stone. I carefully stowed it in my pack.
I took a few more minutes to search the cave: I wanted to make sure that there was nothing else that I had overlooked ... because I was not coming back here. I cast a Detect Enchantment Spell and detected nothing.
Finally, I gulped a Restore Magicka potion, cast Water Breathing, and returned to that frigid water. Once again I swam though the twisty tunnel and lost all sense of direction.
Though in darkness, I could sense when I had reached the open water. I was too cold to endure a long upward swim so I cast a water walking spell. I shot upwards at a dizzying speed.
Very soon, I was standing on the waves again. Unfortunately, I did not feel so good. My shoulders hurt, as did my knees and elbows. As I coughed the remaining seawater out of my lungs, a burning pain raged though my chest. I was suddenly having trouble breathing. With shaking hands I quaffed a Restore Health potion.
I had been warned about this effect ages ago by a pearl diver. There was something about diving in deep water and then rising too fast that caused injury. No one knew why. I drank another potion and felt much better.
I ran south, casting my water walking spell as needed. I was wet from my swim, and this made me colder, but it was a cold that I could tolerate. It was nothing like the horrible cold I had experienced in the depths.
After recovering my books from the little island, I turned east.
The sky was darkening when I reached the Water Stone. From my pack I retrieved the bottle that I had recently obtained. I uncorked it and poured it on the stone. The bottle then vanished and a cascade of glowing blue bubbles rose up from the ground and ran up the sides of the Stone. This was exactly as it had been for the Earth Stone, save that those had been a blue-green hue.
I had completed the ritual for a second Stone. A cast of Recall and I was teleported back to the colony. I walked to the fire and, for once, enjoyed the sensation of being warm. It seemed odd to still have an outdoor fire now that there were several buildings, but I was glad that it was so.
"You actually look cold!" exclaimed Falco, who was also standing by the fire.
"Yes, I am. I've just been in a very cold area."
I related to him and the men the details as to my icy water adventure. They shivered.
"Has anything happened here?" I whispered to Falco.
"No problems from Carnius or anyone else," he quietly replied.
"Good." I had been a little concerned that some new problem would emerge while I was gone.
"You're just in time for dinner," said Reinhardt Red-Spear as he handed me a bowl filled with something and a spoon. The men must have obtained utensils from the shipwreck while I was away. It smelled delicious and I ceased talking as I shoveled the warm goodness into me as fast as I could. It was only as I was finishing it that I even noticed what it was.
Reinhardt had made a stew from bear meat but had mixed in enough vegetables and seasonings to make it interesting and tasty. We all agreed that the meal was excellent. It was a nice change from simply grilling whatever animal happened to attack the colony that day.
Apronia ate only a little and then scurried off to her house.
"Maybe she isn't feeling well?" I asked, mouth full from my second helping.
"Naw; she always goes to bed early." said one of the men
I swallowed and said; "Still, I wonder if I should check in on her."
He shrugged.
I left the fire and made my way to Apronia's house. On the day that she had arrived, Falco had moved the men out of one of the houses and given it to her. As the only other woman in the colony, she needed a house to herself, with a door that she could lock.
I knocked on the door and called out "Apronia. It's Rashelle, are you OK?"
"Err, I'm fine Rashelle," said her voice from inside the house. "I'm just a little tired, that's all."
"You are sure?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Good night, Rashelle."
I shrugged and bid her good night. I returned to the fire and served myself a third helping of the stew.
"I'm so glad we hired you, Reinhardt: this stew is delicious."
He beamed. "Thank you, lass."