The Dark Brotherhood: A Listener's Tale, The tale of what it takes to become the merciless Listener of the Dark Options

[allshallfade]

This is a fanfiction that I started over a year ago as of last month, and it is something that I am still working on today. It's basically the storyline of the Dark Brotherhood, told from the point of view of a cold-hearted woman who enjoys nothing more then to kill. I know that the plot is not original, but I feel that the character's thoughts and emotions, along with her interaction with other character's, sets it apart from the blandness of the plot. Anyways, I know it's long, but please, just bare with me!

If you read and review, I can't thank you enough- it really means the world to me. I hope you enjoy!

Chapter One: The Old Woman and the Cottage

I killed the old woman. I don’t know what made me do it; I still can’t understand it to this day. I suppose that this is where my tale starts; where my life gets interesting. Oh boy, does it get interesting. And I don’t generally mean that in a good way. You’ll see. I had been hunting down up North, by the Nordic-fashioned city of Bruma, when I felt a presence nearby. I guess you could call it a sixth sense. I crouched down, bow in hand, and slowly crept over a small hill. When I reached the top, I saw a little cottage nestled in the mountains, with a patch of flat land serving as a single person farm. An old woman was there, working in the farm, raking down new rows for what looked like fresh potato plants.

How could I know then that this house would be the location of so much pain and misery in my future? Looking back, I wished that I had simply turned around and never glanced back. However, my instinctual curiosity, useful in so many aspects of my life, was my downfall here. I sat to watch the woman, mystified, as I hadn’t seen a human, elf, or beast race for nearly a week. I had become a rather solitary being, making my living off of the land, sleeping where I felt it was safe enough, whether it be cave or slab of rock.

Squinting against the setting sun, I saw the woman’s graying hair and wrinkling face, her movements obviously displaying the aching and grinding of her old bones. After a moment of her work, she straightened, shielding her eyes from the sun with a callused hand. She must have decided that it was enough for the day, as she collected her supplies and headed toward her thatched-roof cottage in the slow, shuffling, achy pace of the elderly.

I don’t know what came over me at that moment, but I suddenly had the overwhelming desire to kill the woman, to drive my dagger into her flesh. I felt a sudden…rage at her, such inexplicable anger that I needed to act upon. I’m not sure if my fury was against her, or against the world. But at that moment, all the feeling I had in me was focused on her. I have had such urges before, to strike, to kill, but always in public, surrounded by many. My impulses had always been controlled by necessity. Now, however, I was in the middle of nowhere. I guess that’s the reason I couldn’t stop myself.

And before I knew what was happening, everything around me became silent. Time seemed to slow as my senses were heightened. Her breathing was a slow, rhythmic rasping in my ears, and an eternity seemed to take place in the dull thudding of two of her footsteps. I started to feel faint as I tried to control the desire to stop the noise of her footsteps, to eternally end the sound of her breath. I was fighting a loosing battle. After what seemed an eternity, but was in reality were seconds, I had put my bow on my back and was reaching for my dagger.

The sound of my dagger sliding out of its sheath was intoxicating; it made my lust for the kill even stronger. I started to creep toward her, my worn leather boots padded against the ground as I silently trod upon leaves and twigs. As I grew closer to the woman, my pace increased, until I was nearly sprinting at her on bent legs. My heartbeat was like a war drum, pounding out a fast steady beat, making my head felt like it was going to explode any second. It was overwhelming; I had to end it. When I was within yards of the old woman, I stood straight, getting into a full-out sprint at her.

She didn’t hear me until I plunged my dagger into her back. With a choking gasp, she spun about to face me, her eyes meeting mine. I saw them fill with a fleeting look of surprise, before quickly turning to one of intense pain and fear. However, her pain did not last long, as I leaned behind her and yanked my dagger out of her back, and slitting her throat in one smooth motion.

She crumbled to the floor on her very own doorstep, breathed her last gasping, gurgling breath, and became eternally still. I stood over the dead body for a moment, panting slightly. Once my heart rate had started to slow, and my senses seemed to return to normal, the reality of what I had just done crashed into me, physically staggering me.

My eyes widened, and I slumped against the side of the cottage. I still held my dagger, glistening in the fading light. It was smeared with a line of blood, dripping noiselessly to the ground, joining the pool of red liquid forming steadily at my feet. Staring at her motionless body, I felt a strong mix of emotions. First, I felt disgust in myself, but I also felt an almost disturbing sense of pride, and…fulfillment. My desire for blood had been filled; the desire I had held back for so long. I had killed livestock and beast for food, but this was different. This was…murder. However, as quickly as it had come, the disgust started to ebb away, and a small smile formed on my face as I stood up straight again.

At that moment, I felt a prickling sensation on the back of my neck; a feeling that someone was watching me, that someone had seen what I had done. I whipped around, dagger at the ready, but saw nothing. The sun was nearly lost behind the mountains to the West, but there was still enough light for me to see the landscape around me in detail. I shuffled in full circle, but could pick out no one in the surrounding forest. Even so, I still could not loose the feeling of being watched, so I kept my dagger and bow at easy access.

Casting one last suspicious look into the immediate area, I turned back toward the body. As I looked at her corpse again, I felt another overwhelming feeling of disgust, but this time not at what I had done- now at the fact that I didn’t feel any remorse for my actions; no pity for the defenseless old woman. I wanted to- I genuinely wanted to feel bad, to feel guilty. But I didn’t. I…couldn’t. Sighing, pushing the unsettling thoughts out of my mind, I squatted down and started to search her for valuables.

I found about 4 gold, which was quite a sum to me at that time, and a letter to some gift-giving service listing the locations of all of her kids. I pocketed the list, not really sure why. I also found the key to her cottage. I looked back up at the sky, finding that the sun had almost disappeared, so I decided to spend the night in her house. I dragged her body into the tall grass surrounding the home before slipping the key into the lock and opening the cottage door.

Upon entering, I found that the old woman (Perennia Draconis, according to the letter) had a dog when it started barking incessantly, but it seemed as ancient as she had been. I tossed it some old boar meat from my pack, and he eagerly started gnawing at it, completely forgetting my presence. I quickly scanned the interior, looking for valuables, but not finding much. According to the sign over the mantle, the place was called “Applewatch”.

My stomach growled, so I looked into my pack and pulled out some venison and various vegetables I had stored for my trip. I cooked them in the fire place, petting the content dog while stoking the fire. Looking back, I didn’t even feel uneasy spending such a pleasant time in the home of the woman I had just mercilessly slain. My thoughts at the time were only of the food I was cooking. After my meal, I felt a wave of fatigue sweep over me, so I stripped out of my leather greaves, boots and cuirass and pulled on a long coarse shirt to sleep in. I slipped my dagger under my pillow, placed my quiver and bow on the bedside table, and slid into the warm recesses of the covers. It was extremely comfortable, compared to my recent sleeping arrangements, which had consisted of rock slabs and leaf piles. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

I was woken not four hours later when my blood seemed to turn to ice, the air still and silent. In one fluid movement I had sat bolt upright and pulled my dagger out from under my pillow, holding it menacingly out into the dark room. I sat there, panting for second, trying to peer through the complete darkness, when a deep, sinister voice spoke to my right.

“You sleep rather soundly for murderer. That’s good. You’ll need a clear conscience for what I’m about to propose.”

I leapt to the left, pulling the covers off the bed as I swung my dagger wildly into midair, attempting to defend myself. I pressed my back against the wall, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. Across the bed I saw a man, clothed and hooded in the darkest black. His deep brown eyes were studying, assessing every move I made, always calculating. He seemed to be almost…amused at my reaction. His lips were curled up ever so slightly at the corners, and his intense eyes were gleaming with laughter.

“Who-who are you?” I demanded, mentally assessing my options. Listen to him talk, charge and attack, or run. Talking seemed to be the most favorable of my options; he looked quite skilled with a blade, and his athletic form could be seen even through his robes and the way he moved; he could probably outrun me. Besides, I wanted to see what he had to say. He was…intriguing.

“I am Lucien Lachance, a speaker for the Dark Brotherhood. And you, you are a killer. A taker of life. A harvester of souls. Your work, your deathcraft, pleases the Night Mother. And so, I come to you with an offer. An opportunity to join our rather…unique family.”

I had no idea what to say. How did he know I had murdered the woman? And how had he known so quickly? Could he have been the presence I sensed after her death? But how had he known I was going to kill her? And what- My internal bombarding of questions was cut off as he continued, looking at me in a way that seemed to convey that he knew exactly what my thoughts were.

“So, I have your rapt attention. Splendid. Now listen closely. On the Green Road to the North of Bravil lies the Inn of Ill Omen. There you will find a man named Rufio. He is an old man, his body frail, and he sleeps his days away. You could kill him before he woke, if you so chose. In whatever way you choose, kill him, and your initiation into the Dark Brotherhood will be complete. Do this, and the next time you sleep in a location I deem secure, I will reveal myself once more, bearing the love of your new family.”

I thought about his last statement, and some of the possible implications one could interpret from it, and was suddenly extremely aware of the shortness of my shirt, and how much my legs were showing. I colored slightly, embarrassed at my own thoughts, which were most likely completely unfounded. He continued on, seemingly undeterred by my silence.

“Please accept this token from the Dark Brotherhood. It is a virgin blade, and thirsts for blood. May it serve you well, as does your silence,” he said with his slight smile, handing me a gold-decorated dagger.

‘The Blade of Woe’ was inscribed on its gold and black hilt. I stood digesting this

for a moment, before I looked him in the eye and said questioningly:

“The Dark Brotherhood?”

“Have you not heard of the Dark Brotherhood? Of the remorseless guild of paid assassins and homicidal cutthroats? Join us, and you’ll find the Dark Brotherhood to be all that, and so much more. We are, more than anything, a union of like-minded individuals. We kill for profit, for enjoyment, and for the glory of the Dread Father Sithis. We are a family, with bonds forged in blood… and death.”

Deep in the recesses of my mind I found a distant memory; of my early teen years, working at the linen shop with my aunt. The daily routine involved scrubbing fabric clean in the back room, while gossiping with the fellow workers. I remember my aunt leaning conspiratively over her scrub board, eyes wide and her voice fearful:

“They say that when you murder someone, the Dark Brotherhood visits you in your sleep. It’s how they recruit new members.”

The understanding must have shown on my face, for he nodded briskly and said:

“Now, I bid you farewell. I do hope we’ll meet again soon.” And with one last lingering look, in which he took in my scantly dressed form with a slightly raised eyebrow and an amused gleam in his eye, Lucien Lachance vanished. Literally. The door to the cottage opened and closed, seemingly on its own accord, and a cold draft sweeping into the room. The sounds of night filled the room, embracing me.

I stood for a moment, perhaps more, rigid in astonishment. I realized now that I had often heard of the Dark Brotherhood, but these were always tales of evil and heartless murder. And I had just been asked to join them. To ‘join their family’, as Lachance had put it. Did that make me evil? Was I evil? I thought of the body lying cold outside in the tall grass, and still didn’t feel a pang of shame or guilt. I realized that I was just that; a cold, heartless murderer. Maybe not evil, but I was a cold-blooded murderer. I wasn’t ready to admit myself as evil. Not yet.

When Lachance had spoken of them, he made the Brotherhood sound like they were…close. A family. A loving family of cold-blooded assassins. The idea seemed so preposterous that I almost laughed out loud. My first inclination was to forget the whole prospect- to never even go near the Inn of Ill Omen. Best to disregard the whole thing. But as I lowered myself back onto the bed, picking up the comforter and pulling it over my body, I couldn’t stop replaying Lucien’s words in my thoughts.

For my whole life I had felt almost overpowering urges to kill, to murder. But I had always resisted, always controlled myself. At sometimes I had barely contained myself, but I had never given in. Until now. Since my desires did not seem to be shared by any I knew, I had always considered myself a freak of nature, a one of a kind outcast. I felt that my only option was to just conform to fit in with society. But now it seemed that there were others like me; those who embraced their gifts for murder. And these people wanted to accept me as one of their own.

And what about this ‘Speaker’, this Lucien Lachance? The way he spoke of murder- he seemed to feel the same way that I had felt about killing the old woman. It was…intoxicating. I had not even accepted his offer, yet he was already treating me as family. No one had ever treated me like that, not since my aunt died when I was young. Part of me wanted to see this “Lucien Lachance” again…in the short time I had met him he had made an impression.

Maybe I would just go and check out the Inn, to see what was there. Just to see where the man lived, I thought to myself. The rest of the night continued in the same fashion, with internal arguments and self-objections. Finally, after a sleepless and thought filled night, I set out at dawn for the Inn, fill of determination and purpose. I was going to kill that man. I was going to join the Dark Brotherhood.

[allshallfade]

Chapter Five: A Pirate's Life for Me

The next morning I awoke to the sound of sound of uproarious laughter. I sat up with a start; first surprised at the sound of laughter, secondly surprised by being in a genuine bed, before remembering where I was. The Living Quarters of the Dark Brotherhood sanctuary. I looked over to the table and saw Telaendril sitting at the table, her back to me, and Gogron across from her. Gogron was pounding his fist against the table, shaking as he tried to hold in his laughter. Telaendril was trying to shush him, but he just raised his finger to point at me and started his deep, throaty laughter again. Telaendril turned and saw me sitting up in bed, a confused look on my face. She sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Sincerest apologies, dear sister. I told him to be quiet, but once he starts laughing there’s no stopping him” she said, shooting Gogron a dirty look.

“I am sorry, dear sister,” he choked out, still attempting to hold back a snigger.

“It’s fine,” I said truthfully. It was something new to wake up to the laughter of friends, and it was something I could get used to. “What’s going on?”

“I was just telling Gogron about my latest contract, and how the girl’s nanny turned out to be a Fighter’s Guild bodyguard- lets just say it was quite the surprise for me. Gogron found it extremely amusing,” she said, jerking her head towards his still shaking form.

I smiled with her as Gogron started to roar with laughter again, unable to contain himself any longer. Still smiling, I swung my legs out of bed, rubbing my eyes.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“Around noon,” said Telaendril, turning back to her lunch.

I pushed myself out of bed and stood up, yawning and stretching my stiff body. I knew I would have to get going soon if I wanted to arrive in the Imperial City with enough time to scout out the area before I carried out my contract, so I started to pull on my traveling clothes- leather greaves and a dark green shirt, with my leather boots and headband to hold back stray strands of my long black hair. I strapped on my dagger and shouldered my quiver and bow, while Gogron watched the process.

“You heading out to the pirate ship then?” he asked. I nodded, feeling oddly nervous. I was scared to be caught; I had never gone out with the intention to kill before Rufio, and that was in a secluded place. This was in the middle of a city, the Imperial city no less. I would be surrounded by guards, and if I was caught they would descend on me like a pack of wolves, ready to take me down. I was starting to get myself worked up when Gogron interrupted my thoughts.

“You’ll do fine,” he said, in a brotherly tone, his eyes warm. Telaendril turned to look at me and smiled encouragingly.

“Gogron’s right- you’ll be fine. From what we hear you’re more than capable,” she said, glancing at Gogron, who nodded encouragingly.

I smiled at them both, and was about to voice my thanks when I realized what she had said.

“What do you mean, from what you’ve heard? What has everyone heard about me?” I asked quickly.

“Oh, it’s been nothing bad, dear sister. I’m sorry to leave but we both really must be going. Good luck- I’m sure you’ll return to us with the blessings of the Night Mother after a successful kill.” And with that, they both left me alone in the living quarters, pondering on what she had said. I once again wanted to know what everyone had been told about me, and by whom. The only Dark Brotherhood member who had met me was Lucien Lachance, so I figured it was a safe bet that he was the one who had been telling the others about me. But it wasn’t like we had met for long- just two short visits. How much could he have learned about me in that amount of time?

I put my musings into the back of my mind, and focused on the task at hand. I wanted the journey to be as quick as possible, so I decided that I would try to steal a horse from the stables. This I had done several times before, along with your petty thievery and even the occasional pickpocket. They were skills I had to posses to survive in the world after the passing of my aunt, and I now put them to good use.

Twenty minutes later I was riding a freshly hijacked black horse on the road to the Imperial City, hair flying back in the wind, eyes gleaming with the thrill of traveling so quickly. My journey was going to almost non-existent on this horse- I would have hours before it was dark.

I decided that I would leave the horse by the banks of Lake Rumare and swim across to the Waterfront, instead of riding all the way around. Also, that would meal less guards would see me entering the city- always a good thing. Having only one bridge to access the City, which was surrounded on all sides by the lake, really could be a hassle sometimes.

I dismounted the horse near the shores of the lake and gave it a little shove in the right direction, back towards Cheydinhal. I watched it trudge off for a moment, and then turned toward the lake, switching my leather greaves for some flannel pants and yanking my boots off. I waded into the water slowly, letting the cold wash over me. It was really quite refreshing. After a few moments of floating around, I started swimming at a leisurely pace toward the distant island that was the Waterfront. I was always on the lookout for slaughterfish- the damned things could be such a nuisance.

The swim was a long one, and when I reached about the half way point I was seriously starting to regret my decision, but all I could do is press on. After what seemed hours, I reached the shores of the Waterfront and dragged myself on the beach, exhausted. I rolled over onto my back and tried to catch my breath, staring up into the azure blue skies. Suddenly I heard footsteps in the sand behind me.

“Are you okay miss?”

I tilted my head back and saw the up side down face of an Imperial Legion Officer looking down at me, his face curious.

“Oh, I’m okay, thanks,” I said quickly, starting to stand up, but nearly falling over. He caught me at me at my elbows and held me steady, his face now concerned.

“Are you sure ma’am? What’s happened to you?”

No one in their right mind would have just swum that, and I couldn’t exactly tell the truth now could I?

“I was across the Lake, heading toward the bridge when a bandit attacked me. He was faster than me, so I jumped in the water and started swimming, hoping it would slow him down because he was covered in heavy iron armor,” I said, inventing wildly. “He followed me to nearly the middle of the lake. I decided just to swim this way instead of heading back, but it was a lot further than I thought,”

“What happened to the bandit?” asked the Officer, getting into official business mode.

“He drowned, the armor dragged him down,” I said, putting my head down as if I was an innocent, sorry for the indirect death of someone else.

“It was not your fault- you did what you had to survive. Not many would have had such quick thinking in a similar situation. I thank you for making the roads safer for the next innocent traveler,” he said, lifting my chin. I did have quick thinking, I thought to myself, but not for the good he believes. I smiled in return, and he asked if I needed anymore assistance, but I told him I was fine and proved it by taking a couple of steady steps on my own.

“Good day, ma’am,” he said, and strode off.

I breathed a sigh of relief, and wiped my face with a dry piece of cloth. There wasn’t anything he could have gotten me in trouble for, but I had just given myself a reputation among the Waterfront Imperial Watch as an innocent girl. It could be useful if things went wrong, either now or in my future.

I changed my clothes, pulling on a skirt and plaid shirt for walking around the area. Surrounding me were several wooden shacks, old and rotting, barely standing. Behind them was a huge stone wall, with entry-ways through it that led to the docks. I headed through the center entryway, looking around at all the people.

It was a lot different from Cheydinhal- everyone was dressed in rags, and they all looked slightly undernourished. They also had a look in their eyes that I recognized, and could relate too- they were all hungry, and would steal, cheat and lie to get food and money. I saw several beggars who gave me a pickpocket’s eye, but I stared them down and they realized I wasn’t a likely target.

There were two boats in the harbor- to the right was a ship that I found was called “The Bloated Float”, and it had a tavern and inn on board. The boat to the left was the Marie Elena, where Captain Tussad was. It was an average size boat, its sails flowing in the soft breeze. As I walked briskly towards it, taking on the airs of a tourist seeing the sights, I saw a Dunmer woman and two shirtless men standing by the boat, singing songs of the sea. As I drew closer they looked at me suspiciously, their song wavering and then stopping completely. I looked around quickly, realizing that no one else was strolling around these ends of the docks. So much for being inconspicuous.

“What do you want?” asked one of the men harshly.

“I’m just looking around,” I said, putting on a slightly defensive tone.

“If you take one stop onto my ship, I slice my sword across that pretty little neck of yours,” the other said, leering at me.

“Okay, okay, I’m going!” I replied, acting scared as I scurried off the way I had came. The laughter of the sailors echoed behind me, and they started to sing again. This was going to be a little more complicated then I thought it would be. I had noticed that the beach with all the shacks looped around to behind the boat, so I decided to head there to further inspect the ship.

When I reached the corner beach I could clearly see the back of the boat, and I stood at an angle that the sailors couldn’t see me as I mapped out the best possible route to kill their captain. Teinaava had been right- there was a small balcony at the back of the boat, and I could see from here it was tightly locked; definitely seemed like it led to the captain’s cabin.

Scanning the dock around it, I saw that I could probably make the jump from the dock ledge to the balcony if I aimed just right, but the crewman would have to be out of the way. I knew that I would probably have to wait until later for them to leave the area and go on the ship, and I would need it to be dark if I wanted to make the jump without looking extremely suspicious, so I had all day to spare.

I spent the day in the Market, selling and buying, haggling and coercing with the little money I had. I sold some of my old gear, repaired the stuff I kept, and purchased some more arrows just in case of emergency. Around six, I still had some time to kill, so I went back down to the Waterfront and got a drink at the Bloated Float, and spent my evening going through my bag of various plants and herbs and testing around, concocting potions and poisons.

At around eleven, the bar in the Bloated Float was still rather full, but the crowd was starting to disperse. I left the bar silently, no one noticing my presence, and head out to check if the pirates had left the area yet. The Waterfront was nearly deserted; the only sounds the yells and shouts echoing dully from the Bloated Float; the area attracted a rather boisterous crowd. I walked carefully around the edge of the outer wall, toward the little area with all of the shacks, and quickly shed my day wear, slipping into my new Dark Brotherhood armor. It fit snugly, tight, but also loose in the right places so I could move easily. I then pulled on the dark hood, which effectively hid my face.

When I started to move around with the armor on, I felt as though I could walk more silently- it must have some sort of enchantment on it, I thought. I crept along the wall, sticking to the shadows, until I could peek around the corner and get my view of the ship and the area surrounding it. There was an Imperial Legion Officer walking along the pathway, but he was heading for the lighthouse. The pirates were no where to be seen, and I figured now was my chance. I walked out from behind the wall, crossing the well lit road quickly and silently, and clambered onto the ledge across from the balcony.

I looked around once more, still saw no one, and I dropped down lightly onto the balcony. I landed with a soft thump, and the ship shook slightly, bobbing in the water. I steadied myself, trying to get my sea legs as the boat swayed with the waves. After a moment, I could stand fairly still and I leaned down to inspect the lock on the door. It was a very difficult lock, with several pins that I would have to place. Pulling out my lock picking tools, I started to manipulate the pins, slowly, testing them out, feeling where their weaknesses were.

It was slow work, but I needed to be concentrating deeply- however, I was constantly worried I would be caught, so I wasn’t having much luck. Ten minutes and 6 broken picks later I was starting to get worried- one, that someone would come along and see what I was doing, and two, that I would run out of lockpicks. I only had 5 left. I started to work again, with a sense of urgency but also an extreme caution. After two more broken picks I finally heard the clicking and sliding of the lock opening, and breathed a deep sigh of relief.

My heart was racing in anticipation, my breath starting to become short. I drew my dagger, and crouched down, preparing to open the door. I tried to look through the keyhole, but it was too dark and I couldn’t get the angle right; so, I slowly twisted the handle down and started push the door open, bit by bit.

Once I could see in the room, I stuck my head in, only to jump back in alarm upon finding that the captain was sitting in a chair not two feet from the door, his back to me. My eyes widened and I leaned against the railing of the balcony, trying to slow my racing heart. I didn’t have much time- the captain was bound to notice the breeze from the open door any second, so I leaned forward and with a silent prayer to the Night Mother, pushed the door open all the way, slipping silently into the room.

I stopped right behind the captain’s chair, the lust for the kill causing a thrill to rise in my stomach, my breath becoming short and excited. In one smooth motion I brought my left hand up to cover his mouth to stifle his scream and brought my dagger to his throat.

“The Night Mother says good-bye,” I whispered softly, and he whimpered, struggling against my grip, pulling on my hands. If someone had been in the room, they would have seen as I drew my blade mercilessly across his throat; they would have seen that as Captain Tussad fell gurgling to the floor, I was wiping my dagger on his tunic indifferently; they would have seen the red gleam in my eyes as I watched the final moments of his life, and they would have heard my soft, dark laughter as he finally gave in to the fate we all share.

Not a moment later, however, there was a banging on the door and voices from outside. I was instantly alert, my body in battle mode, facing the door.

“Captain Tussad, are you alright in there?”

I couldn’t tell how many, but there was definitely more than one man out there. I wasn’t one for multiple persons combat, at least not yet, so I started to panic slightly.

“Captain Tussad we heard some loud noises. Captain we’re coming in there!”

I did the only thing I could do- I darted out the door and leapt off the balcony. My last thought before I plunged into the waves was that this probably wasn’t a good way to break in my armor- leather and water don’t mix.