Concerned, But Powerless Options

[Petra Arkanian]

Wow. So, thanks for your support!

PART ... what is it? okay.

PART 7

It was around noon, and Seth Dormor and I were still talking, me trying to coax information out of him with limited to no success, him trying, unsucessfully, to change the topic.

"Why won't you just tell me?!" I asked, frustrated.

"Hmmm... lets see... well, maybe because you're a wanted criminal?" I shook my head. He sighed, and tried again.

"Uh, you're just twelve and you might get nightmares? No luck - ouch!" his cry was quiet - thank Talos- but his head had whipped to the side as I slapped him.

"Excuse me, Mr. Imperial Legioner, but I happen to have about one billion times more experience than you. So don't even think about pulling that trick with me."

Seth rubbed his cheek. "That hurt."

"It would've been wasted if it hadn't. And, since you won't tell me anything , I think I'll go to the hospital to find... someone."

"Someone? Who? An old friend?" He now sounded curious, for the first time in hours.

"Yes. No. Not an old friend." I frowned as I tried to describe Barus. "Someone I met about yesterday who hates me for reasons I won't say, who got dragged away by goblins as I was leaving the Imperial Sew-" I clapped a hand over my mouth, and mentally slapped my forehead. Why had I said that?

"What reasons? Leaving the Imperial Sewers? Who? Dragged away by goblins? Are you sure that they're still alive?" I scowled at him.

"Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies. I'm outa here." I began walking toward the first door that caught my eye, labeled 'City Isle' . I turned around.

"Seth? Where's the hospital?"

"The hospital? The only hospital is in Bruma.Why?" I cursed under my breath.

"No reason," I said.

"No reason," he repeated. "Which means you're lying through your teeth."

This post has been edited by Petra Arkanian: Dec 14 2010, 08:59 PM

[mALX]

The repartee between Seth and Alix is really well done!! You have a quick wit to write these dialogues !!!

[Acadian]

Yes, some brisk and snappy dialogue between Seth and Alex.

"Uh, you're just twelve and you might get nightmares? No luck - ouch!" his cry was quiet - thank Talos- but his head had whipped to the side as I slapped him.
This was wonderfully done!

So, it seems that Alex may be off to Bruma next - to find Barus/Baurus. I hope she takes some warm furs.

At this point, your story is coming along nicely and it looks like you have a plan. You may want to consider slowing your posting schedule a touch, and reading some of the excellent fan fiction stories here in order to benefit from the style and technique of others, as well as garner/maintain the support and readership of other writers.

This post has been edited by Acadian: Dec 15 2010, 01:36 AM

[Petra Arkanian]

Yes, have been reading other fanfics (yours is beautifully done), and thats probably the reason for my sudden ideas. I think my problem is that i haven't been writing down my fanfic on other documents like word or something. I'll try that....

[mALX]

Yes, have been reading other fanfics (yours is beautifully done), and thats probably the reason for my sudden ideas. I think my problem is that i haven't been writing down my fanfic on other documents like word or something. I'll try that....

Good idea. You never know when one of these sites will decide to clear out their backlog - and everything you wrote suddenly disappears.

Case in point: The BGSF - that most of us floated over here from - every now and then clear out old stuff - or change their format and stuff gets mysteriously wiped out in the process - always good to have your own copy to look back on.

[Destri Melarg]

I completely agree with everything that mALX and Acadian have already said. One of the things that I like about your writing is the lack of pretension. You have a very direct and engaging style that makes it easy for me to overlook silly details like the constraints of Alex’s age and just go along with your story. That is something that people spend years trying to achieve!

I also appreciated the bio, but it did raise one question: You say that Alex has no experience with emotion. Why then would she sacrifice her standing with the Brotherhood by refusing to kill her foster parents? Julian and Mary Delphiki would not have had much contact with her if she were spending all her time training in the Cheydinhal Sanctuary. Deadened to emotion as she is/was (her increasing experience with emotion makes for a GREAT subplot, if you ask me), she would have seen the Delphiki’s as just two more targets, no?

[Petra Arkanian]

Destri Melarg: I believe the reason that Alex sacraficed her job for her 'parents' is because she felt responsible for them. She didn't love them, no, but (luckily) she still had a sense of right and wrong, and she knew it would be wrong to kill the people who she had lived with for most of her life. Thank you!

[Petra Arkanian]

PART 8

I was looking around the Merchants Inn, wondering where that drunkard was. I just needed to confirm the fact that he had seen Barus at all. But he wasn’t anywhere.

“Excuse me, bartender. Would you mind telling me where-“

“Haven’t you heard the news?” he asked in a hushed voice. “ Farelarg the Drunk was murdered.” I blinked. ‘Dead?’ I thought. ‘Now I can’t ask him if his little story was true.’

I nodded to the bartender stiffly, and walked out the door. Where was Seth?

“Alex?” there he was.

“Didn’t I specifically tell you to stay by The Black Courier? I know I did.”

“Well, yes, but-“ I cut Seth off.

“But you thought I’d be in danger, despite the fact that I could kill anyone with my bare hands. Sure, Seth. Anyway. In other news, the beggar I wanted to talk to was murdered.”

“But Alex,” said Seth in mock protestation. I thought that you had given up being an Assassin!”

“That wasn’t me, you idiot. Why in Cyrodiil would I kill someone if I wanted to know something about or from them, besides the way their guts looked?”

Seth wrinkled his nose at the image – which shows just how wimpy he was – and tried to reason with me (which, just between you, me, and the lamppost, is worse than pointless).

“Alex, why don’t you just give up?” he pleaded.

I sighed wearily. “Because, as stupid as this sounds, I have a mission, and the Emperor himself gave it to me.”

[mALX]

Yeah !!! You got your avatar fixed !!! Is that the one I sent you?

This line is my favorite, and shows how seriously she took her mission from Uriel:

I sighed wearily. “Because, as stupid as this sounds, I have a mission, and the Emperor himself gave it to me.”

Great Write !!!

[Petra Arkanian]

mALX: Yes, this is the avatar you sent me! Thx! It's really nice, and I love it.

[mALX]

mALX: Yes, this is the avatar you sent me! Thx! It's really nice, and I love it.

It looks better on here than it did on photobucket !!!

[Petra Arkanian]

Okay, guys. Part 8


PART 8

It was nighttime. I had been traveling for a straight nine hours, and I was far past exaustion. But still I dragged my feet, looking for an inn somewhere.

"Hello, traveler!" A voice called out. I turned around, saw nothing, and continued walking, figuring my mind was playing tricks on me again.

"No, please, Ma'am, help us!" The voice called again.

"Where are you?" I couldn't help them if I didn't know where they were.

"Please, help us!" the voice wailed, and was followed by something that could have been the braying of a dog.

I sighed. "I'm not sure what your problem is, but I'm very sure that it is hard to pronounce."

"We're invisible! Please! We'll pay you well, we'll let you have a room at our inn! Please! You can take my firstborn! Anything!" wailed a different voice.

I figured that I'd better except, so that someone didn't come along who actually wanted some mother's first-born child. And anyway, if they had an inn, than I needed to stay there.

"Fine," I called, "But I'll have to sleep, first!" They clamor of voices rushed toward me, and suddenly I was the first Nord to have experienced invisible people hugging them. I was dragged to a small village that had a sign which read ;

Aleswell Inn

Have a room for free, please!" Someone urged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seth was near Alex when he heard them. People. Disembodied people, by the non-looks of it.

"Come in to our inn!" they rhymed. "Come in to our inn!"

Alex obliged, and practically flew there. Well, Seth was tired himself, and she was only twelve! Seth quickly cast a spell (one of the only spells he knew), and squeezed in behind something that was short enough to be a child. With luck, Alex wouldn't notice him.

[mALX]

Seth quickly cast a spell (one of the only spells he knew), and squeezed in behind something that was short enough to be a child. With luck, Alex wouldn't notice him.

...er...huh? Is he...er...uh...mating with sheep like Gaston Surilie? ROFL !!!! SETH!!!! GAAAAH!!!

[Petra Arkanian]

No, mALX , he's trying to get inside the inn. Not all of us think like that

[mALX]

No, mALX , he's trying to get inside the inn. Not all of us think like that

ROFL !!!! Just wait till Foxy has time to read, ROFL !!!!

[Petra Arkanian]

You guys crack me up.

PART 9

I yawned. The sun streamed in through a dirty window, creating imaginary dust moats that just about took my breath away.

"Help us!" called a voice coming from the flimsy door. I wondered vaguely if that was all they could say.

"You says! You says you help us in morning!" They must not have had much schooling.

"Coming." I yawned again, and sighed. Straight to the point, these people. I pushed open the door, walked passed the sound of breathing that I heard to my left, and into what could possibly pass for a dining room. There were lots of villagers in the room (the light sparkled in places, so I figured someone was standing there) who all cheered as I entered. Was extensive brain damage one of the side effects of invisibility?

"So, how do I help?" I sighed.

"There is magician. South. Fort Caractacus. Tell him 'move'. Tell him visible!" At least one of them could speak with correct grammar. Not this one, though.

"Sure, sure. I'll be back soon." I sauntered out the door, and I felt it jam. Then it was normal again. Weird.

"Alex!" I knew who it was, without turning around.

"Seth, what the hell are you doing here?" He withered at the sound of my harsh, angry voice.

"I-" he began, shaking flakes of silvery dust that highly resembled dandruff off his shoulders. His shaggy black hair flipped from side to side as he shook his head.

"SETH! You idiot! Just stay here, understand?" I marched forward without checking to see if he was following me. He was, of course, but whatever. His fault if he wanted to get pulverized by an angry mage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seth sighed. Alex was just too stubborn. In need of control. Touchy, too. 'Alex, what happened to your hair?' Bam, you're dead. Still. She was pretty, smart. In fact, Seth liked Alex because of it. Which was why he was following her right now. Oh, sure, she'd be angry and all. But he might come in useful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was still seething as I went over the top of the hill. Idiot, moron, s'wit. Half-wit, too, now that I came to think of it. Which proves that the whole thing was Seth's fault. Because just then, something attacked me. It was invisible. It was big. And judging by the smell, it was also a troll. Now, if I could have seen it, I would have sprinted up it's back and slit it's neck. If I could have heard it, I would have turned in it's direction and hacked away with my sword. But seeing as I could do neither, I just twirled in circles, swinging my sword and hoping it was dumb enough to come closer. And then the smell overpowered me. There were more.

[mALX]

GAAAAH !!! A cliffhanger !!!! You have done a wonderful job with the invisibility at the Inn, walking by and hearing breathing - really great write !!!

[Petra Arkanian]

PART 10

It was dark. That was the first thing that I noticed when I came to. The second thing that I noticed was that it ws relatively silent, except for the sound of Seth's labored breathing. It also reeked of trolls. We were in a cave, I could tell that much. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, and began counting the drops of water coming from a stalactite nearby. One, two, three, four, five, six... my eyes still weren't used to the dark, and it was the six-hundred and twenty-third drip. Suddenly, the silence was interrupted.

"...They harmed?" The voice was rough, so I figured that they were used to speaking a different language.

"No, sir. Well, the girl has a broken nose... but other than that, they're fine."

"Good. Mankar Camoran wants them unharmed." the voices then faded into the distance, leaving me with a few other snatches of informatation, such as sacrifices, rituals and blade. None of them sounded good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seth was awake. And he knew where they were. They were in Lake Arrius Caverns. In a dank cell that he had been in only once before. It was the west wing, near the Mysterium Xarxes. The lock was probably average, but that wouldn't matter, as a guard would be posted outside the door. And they had no weapons.

'It's my fault,' he thought bitterly. 'If I hadn't come, they couldn't have tracked me, and found Alex. My fault.'

"Alex!" Seth hissed. Alex sat upright, and stared at him.

"You're alive?" she asked in a hushed tone. Seth nodded, and put a finger to his lips. Alex nodded.

"Listen,"he whispered. "My parents were once Mythic Dawn followers. I was raised here. Ran away when I was ten, after seeing a little kid get sacrificed. I've been here before, know this place inside out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes narrowed. "Why should I trust you, Dormor?" He looked pained.

"Because. I an get you out of here."

"And you can also get me killed," I pointed out. Why should I believe his story? Absolutely no reason at all. Then again, if I was going to get killed anyway...

"You can turn invisible, right?" Seth nodded. "So you can turn me invisible, too, right?" Another nod. "In that case, you turn us invisible. We scrounge for weapons. We pick the lock, kill the guard, then we're outta here."

"We don't have any lockpicks."

I held up a small, thin bone. "Not a problem."

"We don't have any weapons."

"I can break his neck." Seth nodded, and shut his eyes.

"I love you, Alex," he whispered, and cast a spell. I was invisible. I was also in shock. He loved me? Impossible. Whatever.

I picked up the bone, sneaked toward the door, picked it in less than a second, and jumped onto the guards shoulders. From there, it was a simple matter of twisting my knees to the right, and jumping off the guard before he hit the floor, dead. Not a sound, not an ounce of blood. My master would have been pleased.

I checked his pockets for potions, weapons, or other useful items. I found 3 health potions, two hunting knives, twenty-five gold, and a pear. Then I had an idea.

"Seth, put on his robe. You will be escorting me to a prison cell. And take this knife." Seth pulled the Mythic Dawn robe over his head, strapped the knife to his waist, and grabbed my arm. He lead us down the dark tunnels, until I began hearing conversations.

"Get the prisoners. The time is near!"

"Turn around, Seth!" I hissed.

"No, I have to get the Mysterium Xarxes!" I had no idea what that was, but it sounded very insignificant, and a complete time-waster.

"Come on!" he whispered as he pulled me toward the noise.

[mALX]

WOOOOOT !!!! Huge background you've cooked up for Seth! Exciting storyline !!! AWESOME WRITE !!! You are doing an excellent job with this, and your imagination is Awesome !!!!

[Petra Arkanian]

where are all my nit-finders?

PART 11

"Seth, no!" I hissed, as he dragged me to an archway where the noise was strongest. This was the problem with weighing sixty-two pounds when someone who weighs at least a hundred and eighty is dragging you somewhere that you don't want to be.

I pounded on his back, trying to make him see sense, but he just ignored me. We were now near an alter where an Argonian was laying. A man in a large red robe was chanting something in a language I didn't recognize.

"Ah-mal et Reeh ep Tem LOOORVG femial tresl Jick," he grunted.

"What is he saying?"

"No idea. But it looks like a ritual of some kind," said Seth.

I nodded. The guy in red raised a dagger, and plunged it into the Argonians' heart. Seth blanched, but I was used to that kind of thing, so I just frowned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

'That does it,' thought Seth, watching the Argonian who he knew by name get murdered in cold blood. He grabbed Alex's hand and ran toward the altar.

"Murderers!" he screamed. The man in red squinted at Seth and hissed, "Tersus Nex!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I knew what would happen before it did. Because by the way that the man's hands glowed, I could tell that he was a skilled mage. And 'Tersus Nex' meant 'Clean Death'.