A New Sun Rises - Maxical's Adventures, The Truth Behind The Oblivion Crisis Options

[mALX]

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*** D. Foxy has graciously agreed to the use of his characters Damien "Foxy" Reynard in this episode.


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Chapter 120: A Shift In Power



Uriel’s initial charge from the palace was to relieve the frustration of his enforced delay by bloodying his sword and armor as quickly as possible into as many of Malan’s army as he could.

He was a magnificent and formidable figure on horseback; his sword drawn and driving down on Malan’s giants like an avenging god every time they emerged from the vaporous gases that they somehow transformed out of in spite of the sun overhead.

Just the sight of Uriel fighting beside them seemed to rejuvenate the exhausted fighters; and for a time we all thought we were seeing victory in our grasp as the battlecries of “For Cyrodiil,” or “For the Emperor” continued to echo in the air, rallying our hearts and feet into renewed action.

Malan’s army were ghosts emerging from mists of vapor sporadically, but relentlessly. The Crimson Scar were nowhere in sight above ground, but reports from the sewers confirmed they were still present…just hiding in protection till nightfall.

The continuous onslaught of Malan’s army gave minute and short-lived sensations of victory, but then another would appear. It was a slow drain of energies and morale on the fighters, especially knowing that nighttime would bring the vampire’s full armies in force.

During a short lull in attacks Uriel stopped at the Arcane tent and dismounted, stopping by each cot and speaking to the wounded personally. When we left the tent Uriel’s pleasant smile and cajoling camaraderie ended at the tent flaps. He was livid from what he had learned from the injured.

What surprised me the most was that Uriel’s show of temper was directed at Ocato, or rather at his ‘lack of strategic decisions’ or ‘inept tactical planning‘, whatever that meant. Damien understood him instantly.

Hannibal’s warning glance effectively shut me up, he obviously didn’t want Uriel’s growing temper to direct itself onto me… any more than I did, not now when it meant everything to me that he think highly of me as a warrior in his command.

The Khajiit women had told me Ocato had ordered every available man to the battlefield, and I knew on leaving the cave that the women were being ordered to fight as well. Uriel was aware civilians had been called to battle, but not the full extent of it.

He also was not aware that they had been ordered to fight continuously till the vampires were routed, and was aghast to find none had been shifted out for rest or meals since war was declared. The fighters defending the city were exhausted, hungry, and most of the civilians were not properly equipped for battle.

The Legion and his own Imperial Army were well equipped and highly trained, but were also suffering fatigue and hunger.






***


Azzan hurried up immediately when Uriel rode through the Arena District gates. Despite the battered condition of Azzan’s face, it reflected a doglike devotion to Uriel as he approached. The spotless armor he was wearing when I saw him last at the Arena was in ribbons of blood-stained steel, his silver longsword badly nicked and nearly fractured.

Hannibal began healing him immediately, then Uriel sent him to the Palace to have his equipment repaired by the smithy there. “Exit through these gates, and take the most direct path to the Palace. We have just cleared the route, but that won’t last long.” Uriel reached down and clasped his shoulder and I thought Azzan would faint from the honor.

Although we didn’t see Ocato himself, Itius Hayn spotted us and strode across the quad in our direction. His expression was respectful, but that he was angry was obvious. On Uriel’s command he repeated the orders Ocato had given the Legion, and then gave a short briefing on what he knew of Ocato’s actions since leaving the Palace with Uriel’s own Imperial Army in tow.

“When Ocato declared Martial Law, he seized several buildings for the Legion’s use as outposts. They have secured the Arcane, the Black Horse Courier, the Bloodworks…here is the list Sire.”

Uriel gave a brief glance at the short list. “Who guards the rest, the Legion or the citizens themselves? Speak, man.”

Itius shifted uncomfortably. “Ocato ordered all citizens out to fight, Sire. Even the women have been armed as of today, they spent yesterday in refugee camps outside the city walls…Sire.“ Itius faltered at the growing anger on Uriel’s face.

“The majority of structures are being left unguarded?” Uriel’s tone warred between incredulous and rage.

Itius nodded. “Yes, Sire.”






***


“By the gods, Ocato has as much as handed the city over to them! They have been given the power and advantage over us in our own city!” Uriel fumed, then tackled Itius further.

“Several civilian fighters said they have not been shifted from battle for rest or food, their equipment was broken and useless for battle. What of your Legion forces and my Army?”

“It’s little better, Sire. Of course we are better equipped, but Ocato ordered all boots on the ground with no respite till we rout the vampires from the city.”

“He will reduce the forces to nothing while the enemy rests in the houses he has provided them and consumes the food our fighters need!” Uriel raged after dismissing Itius.

Damien‘s mask honed intensely up toward Uriel’s face before he spoke, his voice a mere whisper that should not have carried…but Khajiit have exceptional hearing.

“He may be moving his plans forward to take advantage of the war. What better cover for his plot than this? Remember that he counts on the might of Dagon to clear any situations as this out of his path once in power.”

I stumbled in shock, nearly falling face first onto the stone road. Like puzzle pieces falling into place it was all fitting. Uriel’s nightmares. Fathis said he hadn’t been able to sleep, that he’d been terribly troubled with something he wouldn‘t discuss…that it seemed he was facing his own mortality.

No wonder he was in need of a champion, someone to protect him when his own second in command was the one plotting his downfall! And of all things, to plot with Dagon! Dagon, who removed Mournhold from the maps, leaving naught but dust in its place!

For all the hatred I’ve always held for Ocato, it was still a shock to learn he was truly evil. I always thought he was just really disgusting and hated his falsetto voice. Right now I would have given anything to run him through with my sword.

But beyond the shock was a terrible wrenching inside, a feeling I was being torn in two. This newfound devotion and pride of my Emperor was now a driving force that my sword be there to protect him in what I now knew he faced…and yet…Dagon? I could barely breathe for the fear that gripped me at even the thought of trying to face down Dagon. How could I be the one? I couldn’t be, surely Akatosh didn’t plan to pit me against Mehrunes Dagon!

Part of me wanted to go back to that crying child that hesitated to swear her sword in Uriel’s defense, let him find another. But somehow I knew…I could never return to that place now. It was too late, something inside me had changed when I swore the vow to serve Uriel earlier today. I could never take that back now. But I’ve never been so afraid of anything in my life. No wonder Uriel can’t sleep, I doubt I will after this either.

No doubt I don’t understand how being an Emperor works, no doubt. But I can’t imagine why Uriel let Ocato live, knowing he plotted against the throne. I suddenly felt like a tiny pawn in a game of chess played by the greatest masters, their strategic moves well beyond my own comprehension. And yet their hands were moving me into the center of a terrible battle between the two queens, Akatosh and Dagon.

This war I had sworn myself into had nothing to do with the vampires attacking Cyrodiil. It was being staged between the gods and Daedric princes. Dear gods, what had I got myself into?






***


Uriel and Damien began immediately discussing a strategic coup that would take back the power and advantage from the vampires that they now held over us, and at the same time afford some way to relieve the fighters. Hannibal listened, adding his input when it seemed appropriate to do so.

“Give them no targets. They can’t fight if the enemy doesn’t show up.“ Damien’s mouth twisted in an ironic smile that held no humor.

Uriel nodded. “We must control their movements. Herd them to a destination of our choice. That will work with the Crimson Scar, but how to do it with Malan’s army when the sunlight is not affecting them? How is it they are able to continue without burning?” He looked at Hannibal for an answer, his brow knotted perplexedly.

“I can’t say for certain, but the gasses they emerge from have a slight purplish tint. It has to be a spell they are using. The purple color denotes some form of conjuration, yet they are using it to transform somehow. It‘s unlike any spell I know of…” Hannibal trailed off mid sentence.

“They seem to be emerging from the air itself, could it be they are just using invisibility and dispelling it?” I turned to Hannibal.

Hannibal shook his head no. “This is no dispelling. It has to be a powerful spell.”

“Fathis said that necromancers in Morrowind used a powerful magic that was very different from that of the Arcane. Malan is from Morrowind. Didn‘t you say once that you read his journals in the Crystal Tower, Hannibal? Did he speak of spells at all?”

“Malan was never formally associated with necromancy, Maxical. His leanings in that area were merely to obtain the blood needed for his experimentation in creating a race of super vampires. Most vampires despise necromancy.”

“Here in Cyrodiil they claim that, but Fathis said in Morrowind it was a very thin line between the two. Since the practice of necromancy was banned here, they may not want to admit their connections to it.“






***


Damien sat up, his eyes through the mask slits reflecting intrigue in the turn of conversation. “Malan is no ordinary vampire. He created himself through the use of necromancy. What spells Fathis was referring to could very well be considered useful to the aspirations Malan had in creating his army.”

“Reanimation?” Hannibal’s face went white.

“You taught me to always burn vampire bodies so they couldn’t be reanimated, Hannibal. That’s how I got all that vampire dust to give you out of Crowhaven. The Legion has been piling the vampire bodies up as if they planned to burn them, has no one been doing it?”

Damien snapped his fingers. “That would account for their ability to attack in full sunlight and the low number of vampire bodies to human. We may have been fighting the same ones over and over again. They are knocking down our numbers and weakening our strength by day, then attacking by night.”

“But where could they be casting from? They would still have to be above ground.” Hannibal glanced along the roofline of the buildings.

Damien turned to Uriel. “The citizens have all been ordered out of their homes to fight by your illustrious Ocato. Has anyone checked those buildings to ensure the vampires aren’t using them to shield themselves from the sunlight?”

The end result of that conversation was that Uriel met with the Legion in each district and ordered the vampire bodies be burned immediately after being killed. He also ordered all houses and shops to be searched and secured.

Damien was right, the vampires had taken refuge in the homes and shops. Combined task forces went door to door, clearing each building and setting up a guard post outside as the building was secured. Malan’s army lost a lot of manpower in the raids.

Battlemages led the charge into each home blasting a concussion of shock spells. The Legion troops followed, killing the nests of vampires hiding inside that had been using them as cover from the sunlight.

Once each building was cleared, all sewer accesses into it were barricaded and the storm awnings dropped down and tightly latched from within.

The civilian militia forces were divided into platoon sized units, striking a balance of fighting techniques in each unit. The home and shop owners were returned to their properties and ordered to each house one of these civilian units, more if they had the room. Once sealed inside, their orders were to work in shifts to ensure the protection of that building and each other. There was an immediate sense of relief among them.

Uriel ordered a citywide curfew, and at Damien’s suggestion included the Legion and his Army in the curfew; although he held them in readiness to act if needed.

All citizens, even the Legion and his Army were ordered to empty the streets completely before dusk. When the vampires emerged from the sewers, they would find themselves without any prey to attack.


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This post has been edited by mALX: Jan 4 2012, 03:57 AM

[McBadgere]

*Applauds*...Yes!!...

*Wants to fight for Uriel!!!*...

Brilliant chapter...Most excellent!!!... ...

I loved the growing realisation that Ocato was, in fact, evil...And had issued idiotic orders to mess everyone about...

Nice one!!... ...

[Athynae]

Wow, I love it!! And Damien is well worth getting to know a bit better. It's intense and holds you beginning to end. Great story mALX, keep it up.

Sweet mercy I hope Max is the one that gets to skewer Ocato.

[D.Foxy]

First, I heartily approve of everything Malx has done with me...sometimes I think she must be telepathic.

Next, this chapter is pretty good. Malx has now struck a good balance between explanation, dialogue, description, drama and action.

Bravo my Red Riter!!! You have become an excellent disciple of the strategic school of Gotthard Heinrici!!!

[King Coin]

119
What a terrible fate these women and orphans have. Especially the ‘beasts’ sent in to fight vampires with NOTHING. The Emperor will put an end to that.

Whoa! For a second there I thought that Uriel was going to do something to Maxical after she told him he should go into battle. I’m glad he decided to saddle up instead. Lol!

Damien figured out who the bird is finally!

I’m kind of surprised the emperor is willing to take Maxical to battle with him… She doesn’t have a good record…

120
What a bleak picture of the Imperial City.

Maxical’s growing up!

I’m very glad Uriel is in command now. Finally progress!

[Grits]

As Maxical said, the puzzle pieces are falling into place!

For all the hatred I’ve always held for Ocato, it was still a shock to learn he was truly evil. I always just thought he was just disgusting and hated his falsetto voice. Right now I would have given anything to run him through with my sword.

I have to quote this for being pure Maxical. She seems transfigured in this chapter. She still shows all of the spirit that I love, but with a new purpose, a driving force as she puts it.

Part of me wanted to go back to that crying child that hesitated to swear her sword in Uriel’s defense, let him find another. But somehow I knew…I could never return to that place now. It was too late, something inside me had changed when I swore the vow to serve Uriel earlier today. I could never take that back now. But I’ve never been so afraid of anything in my life. No wonder Uriel can’t sleep, I doubt I will after this either.

This passage made me cheer and weep at the same time. No joke. Facing something that’s unavoidable with both terror and absolute conviction is a very specific feeling, and you’ve captured it here so convincingly that it hurts.

The war council between Uriel, Damien, Hannibal, and Maxical speaking up for the absent Fathis was fun to read, and the quick action that followed was a huge relief. Whew! Order returns to the Imperial City. For now…

[Acadian]

What an emotionally charged and stirring episode! I’m completely with Grits in sharply feeling Maxical’s swirling pride, fear and trepidation as her destiny continues to clarify before her.

You do a wonderful job of showing what a few tactically smart changes can do to help turn things around.

Interesting questions raised here as to how much of Ocato’s less than stellar orders and tactics are lack of skill and how much is intentional undermining of (supposedly) his own forces. I confess to sharing Maxical’s desire to run him through.

Well done!

[mALX]

@ McBadgere - Thank you, Thank you McB !!! I spent the whole week before writing that studying best strategic planning for war by Generals, worst mistakes Generals have made through history, etc. - trying to figure out how someone as smart as Ocato could mess it up without it looking deliberate (and how Uriel could counter his sabotage). It means a whole lot that you liked it, especially since you have a genius for plot-weaving !!

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@ Athynae - Thank you so much Athynae !! I have been trying hard to do justice to Foxy's "Damien" character as he explained it, so very much appreciate that he has come out well !!!

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@ Foxy - Thank you so much for your approval of the tactics I came up with for "Damien" - he is a complex character to write for, lol. I had to study all kinds of war strategies to accomodate what I thought may be his thinking. Appreciate a lot your donation of him to the story and the kind words about being telepathic, lets me know all that studying to write his role was worth the efforts !!

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@ King Coin - Thank you so much KC !! Uriel was dying to get out there and fight, he just needed one straw to push him there. The thought of Ocato leading his troops did it. Uriel taking Maxical into battle with him - I guess he wants to find out before he needs her to protect him if she can, (or what he is up against), ROFL !!! Thanks again, KC !!

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@ Grits - You can't imagine how much your kind words touched me, Thank you so very much Grits !!! You got absolutely every nuance of emotion I was hoping would come across, that means so much to hear !!! <3

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@ Acadian - Thank you, Thank you Acadian !!! That you caught it and felt it too, and for knowing Maxical's heart so well - that means a lot to me !! You ROCK !!!

[mALX]

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*** D. Foxy has graciously agreed to the use of his characters Damien "Foxy" Reynard in this episode.

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Chapter 121: Cats In The Cradle


Uriel and Damien wanted to be present when the Talos Plaza was cleared by the Legion and personally take charge of clearing the mansion where I had seen the bird Jak climbing into the dome. Hannibal and I were told to wait in the lower rotunda of the Palace while they prepared.

Uriel returned shortly with a large scroll he rolled out onto the roundtable in the center of the room. It was a complete map of the Talos Plaza, every building in exquisite detail.

Damien entered not long after with a team of his own elite mages, exactly like those he’d used to trap the Immortal at the Arena. How had he gathered them so quickly? As if Uriel was not there, Damien took charge. I suddenly realized there is a vast difference between an assassin and a murderer.

Damien was rapidly calling them forward, pointing to places on one building, giving each a separate task that as a whole could have taken down the Palace itself in the space of minutes.

Several were to actually scale the outside of the building to cover the dome and balconies before Damien and Uriel charged in the front door. For the first time I noticed the strange equipment hanging from some of these Mage’s belting where another’s sword may be, possibly equipment to help them in shimmying up the outside of a building. This was military precision, a mission as intricately planned as if he’d had years to plot every movement of the team.

The odd look of the Mage’s feet caught my eye, then suddenly I realized their feet were bared but somehow colored black. I had a sudden vision of that Khajiit fighting in bare feet, and wondered if it was to silence their movements or enhance their ability to climb…probably both.

Damien turned to Hannibal next. “You’ll cover the street,” he turned and pointed at two more, “You two take the back, here…and here.” He was pointing at places on the map.

Like a soldier taking orders from a general, Hannibal began preparing for his task. I was reeling in shock. Hannibal? I tried to remember the interactions between Hannibal and Damien in the Arena, had they known each other before? Dear gods, had they worked together in the past?

For the second time in my life I realized…there were depths to Hannibal one could not even begin to fathom.






***


The feeling in my mind was the same as when I was a child and discovered Hannibal was meeting with vampires for his scientific research.

Back then I envisioned him as some kind of super hero leading a double life. Mild mannered Dean of the University by day, but at night donning a magic long white cloak that would enable him to fly out of danger. When he put it on he would transform into ’Hannibal Traven, Super Research Scientist’, who delved through the dark underworld of vampirism to find a cure for the dreaded disease.

Now suddenly he was secretly an assassin too? I stood gaping at Hannibal, now envisioning the magic cloak was black, a greatcoat with layers of capes flapping in the wind as he flew into a fortress to assassinate a…an evil king! ‘Hannibal the Assassin‘, deftly dodging the arrows whizzing toward him from below…

“Are you paying attention?” Damien snapped his fingers in my face to be sure he had my attention.

“Er…yes….er…I heard you.” What had he said?

I glanced back at Hannibal, hoping for a clue. His face…his whole attitude was business-like, a man on a mission. I almost expected to see the magic black greatcoat appear in place of his Arch Mage robes.

When I looked back at Damien he was staring hard at me, his eyes glittering behind that mask. “Do you have any questions about the task given you? There can be no error, this is Malan we are going after …”

“Malan?” I gasped, interrupting him.

"Have you not been listening to me?" Damien asked…or demanded.

The Emperor was standing beside Damien staring, everyone around me preparing for battle like some kind of military unit…I couldn’t admit I’d been daydreaming.

“Er…yes, I heard all…er…unless you just care to…er…drill it into my brain, so to speak…" I was torn between wishing he would and trying not to look hopeful. I couldn’t have the Emperor think I hadn’t been paying attention at a crucial time.

Damien’s eyes looked amused suddenly. He turned to Uriel and slapped his arm. “You’d do well to remember that facial expression, that is how she looks when she lies.”

My face felt like it may catch on fire. What if I failed the mission and cost Uriel his life because I didn’t know the role I was to perform?

“I’m sorry, Sire. I…it’s true. I was momentarily stunned by thoughts of Hannibal in a black greatcoat.”

Hannibal’s head swiveled toward me like an owl’s, his mouth gaped open till his chin buried into the neck of his robe. A titter sounded from behind me and I turned to see that cretin Bosmer standing there leering.

Damien broke into roars of laughter, stumbling to the nearby bench and collapsing onto it. He pulled a handkerchief out of a fold in his suit and began wiping his eyes beneath the mask, then patting down the streams of tears rolling out from beneath it.

Uriel’s face looked like Owyn’s did right before he would completely blow his temper, except he wasn‘t shaking like Owyn always did when he was about to rage.






***


“You and the old Arch Mage, eh?” The leering Bosmer jabbed me in the back.

I suddenly remembered his connection to Ocato, was struck forcibly that he was the base-born son of the very one plotting against Uriel. I spun around, standing on my toes in an attempt to loom over him.

“Your ’father’ isn’t here to protect you, I'll snaggle more things on you than those teeth!" I hissed, glaring into his eyes. I gave him the Arena signal that lets the opponent know you are going to finish them.

A snortling choke erupted from Damien and he went off into another peal of laughter, dotting his face almost continuously with the handkerchief now. Hannibal was still frozen in his gape.

Uriel breathed loudly in what sounded like exasperation and turned away, clasping and unclasping the hilt of his sword. I couldn’t have him disappointed in me, wished that Damien would stop laughing. I moved till I stood in front of Uriel, my eyes pleading for his understanding.

“I swear to you Sire, it was not in lust! It was just…when you know someone most of your life and suddenly become aware of new aspects of them…they become your hero anew. That’s all it was.”

Somehow I felt Uriel understood exactly what I meant. The anger left his face and his hand on the hilt of his sword relaxed. He hesitated before responding, searching my eyes. What I read in his was as if a long distant memory was awakened, or recognized in me.

“If you are to become the ‘Hero of Destiny’, you will need to find your own heroes to emulate. You have chosen well in Fathis and Traven.” He lay his hand on top of my head as the priests in the chapels do when conferring a blessing, resting it there for just a second before turning back to the table.

I glanced apologetically at Hannibal and found him flushed and beaming, smiling in pride at me. I don’t know if it was because I admitted he was my hero or because the Emperor thought he was a good choice to be one.

Damien came over and patted my back, his cheeks still dampened from his tears. “Your task is to stay on the street with Traven.“ He turned to Uriel. “Are we ready?”

Uriel nodded, and they led the way out of the Palace walking side by side. I fell in beside Hannibal and he gave me a quick hug. “The ‘Super Scientist’ again?” He chided me, but I could tell he was pleased.






***


As soon as we entered through the District gates I heard a sound meant only for Khajiit ears, almost like the one Nisaba had made in the cave to call the others to her aide…but instinctively I knew this one was a warning sound.

For a split-second I thought there was a slight blur of movement around the statue of Akatosh, but by the time we actually reached the circle there was nothing there. Nothing…or was there? Everything was dead still, quiet. I don’t know how I could feel it, or why…but for some reason I had the odd sensation of…stealth in the air, like someone was watching us.

The thought it could be Malan sent a chill down my back. I must have clutched Hannibal’s arm tightly. He was trying to extract my grasp from his robe when I heard a hiss.

“Maxical”

I spun around, there was nothing…no one. Was I hearing things? I must have been. My nerves were probably on edge…no. I wasn’t imagining it. Damien was glancing around, his feet planted at the ready for combat. I saw his arm tensed and moved out from his side, ready to draw his weapon in a heartbeat. Whatever I heard, his sharp ears had picked up on it too.

“Er…who’s there?“ I choked out, suddenly feeling my bladder threatening to empty itself.

The pile of bodies beside me moved slightly, and to my horror the one on top rolled toward me. Before I could shriek Damien’s hand had clamped over my mouth. Slowly the pile began to spread and Nisaba crawled out from beneath, along with another of the Khajiit women.

“Nisaba!” I gasped into Damien‘s hand. He removed it. “It’s Nisaba, the girl I told you about, Sire.“ I explained quickly, giving her a hand up. “Nisaba, what happened? Were you hurt?”

“No, we hid in the bodies so the vampires wouldn’t smell us.” She brushed her hands against the now bloodied rags of her clothing.

“That’s disgusting, how could you stand it?” I didn’t refrain from hugging her, in spite of how gross the thought.

Uriel signaled Damien. “I want this Nisaba girl there too, send them both to the Palace now, we don‘t need them here while this is going on.”

Nisaba shook her head, pleading into my eyes to help her. “My sisters…”

“She can’t leave her sisters, Sire.”

Uriel waved his hand. “Her sister can come as well. Have Evangeline Beanique show you where the Battlemages bathing pool is and supply you with clean clothes. Tell her you will be staying in the Lords Manor family quarters.”

“We will?” I know I looked as shocked as Nisaba.

As they headed toward the mansion I heard Damien speaking to Uriel about the brilliant strategy Nisaba had used to keep the vampires from smelling them. I smiled at Nisaba. Things would get better for her now. She made a sound and the sisters began emerging from the piles of bodies along the street.

I tugged on Hannibal’s sleeve. “Hannibal, I need some scrolls. Any kind, I just need two of them. All my stuff is back at the Arena.”

“Why, what are you planning to duplicate?”

“Nisaba and her sisters need medicine, they can’t ask Uriel for it.”

Hannibal nodded, handing me a ’Cure Disease’ potion and three chameleon scrolls. “I understand exactly what you are saying. You get going now, so I can concentrate.” I kissed his cheek and started toward the gate.

Damien’s voice floated quietly across the quad as I was walking away. “Uriel, are you sure she said ‘sister‘? I’m quite positive I heard her say ‘sisters‘.“

I looked back to wave at Hannibal and his eyes bulged when he saw the troop of cats at the gate.

He mouthed the words, “Oh no.”


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This post has been edited by mALX: Jan 5 2012, 10:28 PM

[ghastley]

the mansion I had seen the bird Jak climbing into the dome of.

A preposition is a word you should never end a sentence with. May I suggest "the mansion where I had seen the bird Jak climbing into the dome"?

And did I get the idea that Maxical is about to attempt something involving magic? That can't end well.

[mALX]

the mansion I had seen the bird Jak climbing into the dome of.

A preposition is a word you should never end a sentence with. May I suggest "the mansion where I had seen the bird Jak climbing into the dome"?

And did I get the idea that Maxical is about to attempt something involving magic? That can't end well.

Oh, Thank You for the help! I fixed it, and appreciate that a lot!

[Athynae]

I was with Damien on the bench, laughing hysterically, I think at one point I actually fell in the floor but I was so engrossed in the story that I'm not sure.

Yep, I remember bare feet, I roamed all over the Carolinas as a kid and the only time I wore shoes was to school or if it was cold. Funny that it was for the same reason....

The idea that Uriel is a "real" person certainly enhances this story. I was happy to see his understanding of Max's explanation, and that it also took him back to his choosing of heroes, or so it seemed. I get the feeling that he was also slightly amused at her stammering and back peddling when he finally understood.

The way Nisaba and the others hid was both ingenious and revolting, but 'desperate times call for desperate measures'. Good stuff there.

“Uriel, are you sure she said ‘sister‘? I’m quite positive I heard her say ‘sisters‘.“

and

I looked back to wave at Hannibal and his eyes bulged when he saw the troop of cats at the gate.

He mouthed the words, “Oh no.”

I learned long ago not to eat or drink ANYTHING when reading Max thankfully, but I almost suffocated on these, I couldn't breath I was laughing so hard!! Guess I need an oxygen tank too.

Great write, loving it but you know that, waiting for more!!

[Grits]

How fun to see Damien in charge, taking decisive action. I imagine that digging her toe claws in would really help with Maxical's footing, although probably not in her past on the Arena sands.

Back then I envisioned him as some kind of super hero leading a double life.

Maxical’s heroic vision of Hannibal had me in stitches. The disastrous explanations that followed were even more hilarious.

It was just…when you know someone most of your life and suddenly become aware of new aspects of them…they become your hero anew. That’s all it was.”

That was so sweet! And true. Hannibal’s quick hug showed how much he cares for Maxical, and how very good he is at handling her situations.

Then there was more tension and some serious yuck, and I love the laugh at the end with the troop of cats at the gate. What a ride!!

[Acadian]

“You’d do well to remember that facial expression, that is how she looks when she lies.”
My face felt like it may catch on fire.’
This was purrrfect!

I liked the image that Maxical had of Super Hannibal and the little hug he gave her.

And the Khajiit all buried under the bodies! How horrifyingly brilliant, and I could envision it perfectly. Looks like Maxical is going to dupe up some vamp juice. Eeep!

[King Coin]

So much for Maxical growing up…

“I’m sorry, Sire. I…it’s true. I was momentarily stunned by thoughts of Hannibal in a black greatcoat.”


Ugh, hiding in the bodies. I’m glad they had the presence of mind to do so though.

The Lord’s Manor is going to be full of Khajiit now

[McBadgere]

*Applauds heartily*...

Most excellent...

1)

It means a whole lot that you liked it, especially since you have a genius for plot-weaving !!

As a wise man once said, no, you do me too much honour...And you mistake plot-weaving for c*cking about... ...But really, your story is absolutely brilliant and I'm always in awe of everyone's talent and hard work here...

2) Cats In The Cradle?...Oh-ho-ho yes!! When I were a lad, Ugly Kid Joe did a version and I spent much time listening to it...Repeatedly...And just lately, it seems to be haunting me again... ...

3) Oh hell yeah!...I love all the characters in yer story...They make me laugh. You have a genius with them all... ...

Brilliant story...

Nice one!!... ...

[D.Foxy]

The fictional and real Damiens both thank you, MalX MinX.

And this time I waited till I was at 35000 feet before I read.

I did not let any gas escape my mouth. I kept it tight shut.

I, however, make no guarantees of the other end.

[Athynae]

And he *sneaks* in and *sneaks* out again!

Hey Foxy, did you remember to put the plane on auto pilot?

[D.Foxy]

Auto Pileup with a plane on top? Eeeeek. What an accident that must have been. I wonder how that happened? Perhaps an airplane tried to land on a freeway....

[Athynae]

Is that kind of like "Pretty please with sugar on top?"