Riden's NEW Journal of Cyrodiil, The new version since my old one got wiped from my computer T_T Options

[DarkZerker]

Um so here I am. I was going to say one month but what the heck, I just started up Oblivion since my Oblivion save file and all my Microsoft Word files were wiped. Thank god I had both my Fallout 3 fan fiction saved on a USB so does my Oblivion ASSASSIN save file.

This is the new Riden Snowe as my new thumbnail and signature suggests. This was actually my first real roleplaying type character. An assassin based off the "Assassin's Creed" games(at least the armor and hidden blade). Since I have better writing skills, it will be better. Bladesong rewrite! Annoying but what the heck.

Chapter One, Corruption is the root of my money.

I looked down at my latest contract given to me by the corrupt Count Regulus of Bravil. Sipping some tea in the local tavern, I readied my weapons. As usual, the target was very paranoid. I couldn't get a good look on the man's face but during one of my stakeouts on a bench nearby, it was clear that he was an Argonian.

I sighed at the Count's racism to beastfolk but shrugged it off, the pay will be amazing. The Argonian started running and I raised an eyebrow.

Behind him were three people in armor flanking him. The Argonian stopped and started talking to them calmly. I didn't get a single word but it was clear what he wanted them to do, Attack anybody following him.

With a grumpy huff, I climbed my way up on the housetops and started following him from above. Even then, I had a few close calls as the man's bodyguards looked up occasionally. I had probably followed him for an hour before the bodyguards left. I got out my secret weapon, the Hidden Blade.

I jumped down a couple feet behind him. As I crept up, the bodyguards started to return. Noticing me, they yelled to the man, "Usheeja! Behind you!" But it was too late. I sank my knife in his throat and laid him down peacefully. I took off running with three very angry bodyguards behind me.

They were pretty determined to kill me. I spent probably a good thirty minutes trying to avoid them before I was boxed into a corner. One of the men swung his battle axe like a madman trying to make contact with me. After the display of madness, I realized that these guards were very unskilled.

Another one with a hammer rushed and came down at me with all his strength. With quick footing, I barely dodged the heavy lump of steel. With the huge power came a long recovery time. Enough for me to slash with my trusty sword, Gwilth. He fell while the other two guards started to question if attacking me was a good idea.

The one with the battle axe charged at me and slashed. Obviously not learning from his comrade, I jumped back and rushed forward with Gwilth. With a thrust, he also fell. The last one with the sword was smart enough to run. Feeling generous, I let him go.

After a small trek through the streets of Bravil, I headed to the castle. The guards immediately stopped me before the Count nodded to let me through. I whispered, "It's done."

The Count nodded and tried not to smile. He grabbed my arm and handed me a pouch with a letter in it. I greedily snatched the pouch and left. When I was safely back at the tavern, I opened the pouch. Inside was a huge pile of gold and a letter sitting on top of the mound. I grabbed the letter and started to read it.

Dear Riden Snowe,
I'm very happy to hear word of your success. I have no more contracts for you and the Dark Brotherhood is after my head since I'm contracting a rogue assassin instead of them. If you have any friends, I'll be more than willing to pay you an extra five hundred gold to bring them here to guard me. Oh and have fun with the 1000 gold I gave you.

Your client, Count Terentius

I smiled at the gold and threw out the letter to keep the "where did you get that gold" question a mystery. The gold weighed me down a bit but it didn't stop me from packing up my weapons and venturing back to the Imperial City, my base of operations.
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Yeah yeah, Kinda redundant and a bit short. Not to mention that the whole "Imperial City" thing was from my last story.

My roleplaying is pretty standard when it comes to the first chapter of my story or in game. I rushed QUITE A BIT. Took me a good 20 minutes to finish off this. Not long...

Remember to Read and Review. R&R

[Acadian]

In your comments after your stories, you tend to 'bad mouth' your own story a little. There is a fine line between humility and undermining yourself. Here is what I would recommend in that regard: If you believe the story is not up to where you would like it, then refine/edit it until you are fully satisfied with it. If it doesn't sing to you, don't post it. Then don't apologize for it. When you do get some criticism from readers, that is the time to employ humility and grace in your response so that you continue to attract readers. Just food for thought.

Now, that all said, this is a fine story and an interesting read. You have introduced a freelance assassin and left many mysteries about him - we don't know much at all about him, and for an assassin at this point, that is fine. Going forward however, you will probably want to introduce some vulnerabilities / weakness / and discuss your character's motivation. Assassins are very tough to write, since they tend to be secretive and approach killing with a rather blase attitude - that combo makes for a boring/unlikable character - therein lies the challenge. So. . . going forward, those are things to consider.

Oh my. I hope no one finds the note Riden tossed, since it is essentially a full expose complete with names and basically a signed confession. Count Bravil is just dumb enough to discuss such matters in writing and signing his name to it, but perhaps Riden may have been wiser to comment on the Count's stupidity, then burn the note?

I am looking forward to learning what is inside the head of your assassin.

[DarkZerker]

I bad mouth my stories mostly because I really do rush a lot to try and get everything done in a specific deadline...especially since I get a bad headache when I write stories late at night...which is the only time I get a chance to.

[Acadian]

I think you may be expecting too much from yourself timewise. I am fully retired and Buffy is my occupation. She requires most of my waking hours. I find that I must work weeks in advance moving chapters along, editing each of them many, many times per day as they gradually move towards posting. Currently I am revising, expanding and reposting the 70 or so chapters of her unfinished book, before creating new material. As such, I can manage to post a new story about every three days. Once I get her all 'caught up' and start posting truly new material, I expect my full time efforts to yield no more than one chapter per week.

There is no deadline, and as I have said, I would 'simmer' and edit a story as long as it takes until you are comfortable that it sings.

Given the limited amount of time you are devoting to your stories, you clearly have plenty of talent to work with.

[DarkZerker]

Thanks. I have quite a bit of stuff to do. I spend 4 hours at most to write my entries. I have lots of deadlines because I want to keep this updated while still doing what I need to do.

[haute ecole rider]

DZ, there is no real hurry to post here. Some of the best stories here post once a week or even less often. The reason they're so good is because their writers take the time to polish and tweak those stories over and over again. They dive into these chapters and dwell on details that make the world and the characters within come alive for us, the readers.

I post every other day, but that's because I wrote the first eighteen chapters months ago, and have spent time polishing each segment before moving them into the posting queue. Once I get to the end of these chapters, I'll likely post less often, as I will return to writing new material.

It is better to take the time and lavish attention to each chapter than it is to keep your thread updated. Blood on the Moon fell off the first page, but when Trey posted after a long absence, there were many of us who read it, and quite a few of us who commented, because it is that well written. mALX has been absent for several weeks due to family commitments, but once she resumes posting Maxical's story, we will all be reading it again with pleasure and enjoyment (and beverages safely stowed).

Storytelling is a craft, and it takes time to develop it and build the skills necessary to become a master. I've been writing for fifteen years, and by no means do I consider myself a master, or even publishable. Yet I am proud of my stories, and have emotional attachments to several of my characters, simply because I took the time telling their stories and building their worlds and their personalities.

It is quality that keeps us reading stories, not frequency.

[DarkZerker]

Yeah...I'm very skilled in documents and reports on things. I've also had some experience in fictional writing but my specialty lies in documents like news articles or science reports.

I've been writing these for about 11 years since I was 2...which was ironic since...a 2 year old barely knows their ABCs...That's why my grammar is good but my story telling still needs improvement.

I have little time to work on my stories and personally, I spend about 40-60 minutes writing the stories, calling up my friends or girlfriend and then reading over it together then laughing at ridiculous lines and editing.

[DarkZerker]

First time I’m not rushing a story. OMG a miracle! Microsoft word can be so picky when it comes to grammar. Bladesong will be the main part during the first arc of this story. Tee hee.
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Chapter 2, Retirement failure.

An hour passed before I arrived at the Imperial City. The White Gold tower was as big as ever. I tried to remember the Imperial City before I went to the cities to become an assassin for the counts and countess’ themselves.

My ash black horse, Carbon was very jittery when I directed him to the bridge in front of the main city gates. The crazy horse tried to jump the bridge numerous times before I got it restrained. I gave up on him and got him to the Chestnut Handy Stables.

After giving a couple coins to the caretaker as a fee, I knocked on the door to the Imperial City. The gates burst open as an army of Legion troops surrounded me. One of them, Adamus Phillida walked towards me with arrogant pride. He laughed at me, “Ah yes, the famed rogue assassin, Riden Snowe. How clever of you to think you can walk right into the Imperial City without anybody noticing.”

I surveyed the entire area. The people in the Chestnut stables looked onwards at the scene. The Legion had me surrounded and the only way out was by brute force, something I never had. But what made me confused was the fact that Adamus was looking for the DARK BROTHERHOOD! Not rogue assassins like me.

I had to ask, “So Adamus, why bother me? I thought you hated the Dark Brotherhood more than us rogue assassins.”

Adamus nodded, “Yes and for all I care, you’re just as bad as the Dark Brotherhood,” He pointed at a small scar near my eye, “Where’d you get that?”

I looked onwards at the Legion and back at Adamus, “Close encounter with the Dark Brotherhood. Idiot thought he would try a headshot with an arrow. It grazed me and apparently, the bow was enchanted with a fire spell.”

The whole Legion started whispering to each other, questioning if I really should be arrested. Adamus also looked very puzzled and a bit frightened, “Wait…so the Dark Brotherhood tried to assassinate you?”

“Yup.” I simply said like it was no big deal, “Four times as a matter of fact. They only came close once and I have my scar to prove it.”

Adamus looked even more frightened as the color in his face turned pale white, “Um…well…,” He stuttered, then regained his confidence, “We will not arrest you if you help us with a delicate situation with the Dark Brotherhood.”

‘Great…temporary retirement was all I wanted and I’m spending my retirement time killing off a death obsessed cult.’
I guessed there was no real way to say no without being the most wanted man in the Imperial City so I nodded my head. Adamus looked jubilant and looked as if the old man was fighting a torrent of laughter with all his strength.
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Two days later, yay for time travel!
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I was brought into the Imperial Prison to look at the criminals after spending two days relaxing and getting wasted at the Bloated Float. One in particular seemed to interest both the jailor and Adamus very much. He was almost 6 feet and had a very gruff look on his face. Adamus pointed him out, “He used to be an assassin for the Dark Brotherhood and was tasked to try and kill me.”

I nearly burst out a huge laugh but instead settled for a small chuckle. Adamus eyed me curiously, “How is that funny?”

I quickly got defensive to avoid him putting me in jail, “Just the fact that the Dark Brotherhood tried to kill an Imperial Legion commander when he’s in the Imperial City…which is crawling with Legion troops.”

Adamus nodded but obviously didn’t believe my excuse. He seemed to shrug it off and get back to the matter at hand, “Look, we want you to try and kill the Listener of the Dark Brotherhood.”

I was in shock. The listener is nearly impossible to get to without an army and even then, he can get away easily.
“How do you propose we do that? You know the Dark Brotherhood will do everything in their power to protect them.”

Adamus nodded and laughed, “Yes well do you think the Dark Brotherhood are good assassins?”

I shook my head, “But the fact of the matter is that they may not be the best assassins in the world but they can kill.”

“We know where the listener might be. He’s taking up a special ritual near this city, in the waterfront district. The man will have a couple guards but don’t worry, I know of your assassinations in Bravil.”

I nodded, thinking about my early retirement all along the way. Adamus caught on pretty fast, “What are you thinking?”

“Retirement…I wanted the Bravil assassination to be my last job for a long time.”

“Well too bad.” He said maliciously.
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Day of the Assassination
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“Are you ready Riden?” Adamus asked voice from the alleys in the Talos Plaza district, the district where my new house was located.

I nodded and strapped on my blades and my assassin armor. Adamus surveyed me and laughed, “That’s your armor? I bet even a kid could slash through that if they had a sword.”

The armor was very light and flexible but with all that maneuverability had consequences and mine had to be the fact that a very well made sword could slice through the armor like butter.

“Yeah well I’m not a hack and slash kind of guy,” I pulled out Gwilth and showed it off, “That’s why I have a very well made sword just for protection if anything.”
Adamus rolled his eyes and motioned for me to follow him. He opened a small manhole cover near the alley way and a putrid odor blasted me. I nearly threw up my entire breakfast.

The Legion was waiting for me in the sewers. They directed me towards a small opening on the other side of the sewers. Wading through a tunnel of foul things I don’t even want to begin to describe, I made my way to the opening.

I squeezed my way through to see, sure enough, three men. Two of them wore what looked like black leather armor and the one in front wore black robes with tints of blood. I assumed the man was the listener. As a creature of habit, I surveyed the room very slowly before readying my hidden blade.

A pile of bones arranged like a human body was created with candles surrounding the bones. The listener started to kneel and pull out a dagger. He planted it dead center in the effigy and started praying. I couldn’t stand to see more, I already nearly threw up my breakfast in the sewers, I didn’t want to barf here.

Dropping down from my perch above, I readied my hidden blade. It met its mark and sank deep within the man’s neck. He fell with a thud while the other two men charged at me. When I pulled out my blade, they were already on me. I managed to barely deflect the blow from one and jumped back.

They were quickly coming back with faster strikes than I expected. Despite that, I parried their blows with a couple close calls. In minutes, we were both tired. One of them shot a very powerful shock spell directly at me.

‘Darn it! I can’t move fast enough.’ I thought. The shock spell did hit me and knocked me back a bit but it didn’t kill me. Instead it reflected back on the assassin and killed him instead. Too confused to see what was going on, the other one got a quick hit in with a club.

When I awoke, I was in the Imperial Legion barracks. There, some healers were mending my wounds and Adamus had a happy look on his face.

“Ugh…what happened back there?” I asked, my voice a bit intoxicated. Probably from all the potions the healers gave me.

Adamus laughed warmly, “You’ve done it assassin! The Listener lies dead and I hear they hired a new one, Ungolim I think. Don’t worry about him, the man’s a fool and a weakling.”

I smiled and then went back to a deep sleep. I awoke once more to see my fresh wounds completely healed. The healer approached me, “Well you’re back on your feet! All the wounds you received from the fight with those assassins are all healed but that scar will stay there. We can only fix fresh wounds.”

I nodded and noticed a small letter on my bed. It was from Adamus, it had a couple gold pieces in the envelope. I greedily snatched the gold and looked at the letter.

I will be retiring in a few months. You’ll get the rest of your pay at that time. After all, it was a job and you’re pretty darn good at it. If you need a place to spend that gold from your past jobs, I heard of a scroll in Aleswell that is sought after by warriors, archers, and mages alike. It’s sold by a young Imperial named Tess Rysan.
-Adamus Phillida, Imperial Legion Commander.
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Yay foreshadowing! Bladesong arc will start in Chapter three and will follow the Assassin Riden Snowe and his encounter with the lovely Tess Rysan. I actually didn’t rush a lot and I think it’s the longest chapter I wrote so far in my time on this site.

I’m a document/report writer so it might have lots of things that need improvement but I think this chapter was much better than my first. I’m getting the hang of this “Fan Fiction” stuff.

Thanks to Acadian and haute ecole rider for giving me tips on how to improve.

Chapter Three, The Aleswell Incident.

[Acadian]

I liked it!

There is still much to learn about your assassin, but he and his scribe have a light sense of humor that oddly seems to suit the assassin quite well. In fact it is kind of fun - an assassin story with sense of humor. That is the 'thing' or 'twist' that can make this work it seems.

Ok, what we need now, is a couple more things:
- More info on Riden. I don't believe we have really any physical description of him beyond a man with a scar on his head. No rush though, but perhaps gradually fill us in.

- Supporting characters that have some depth. So far, eveyone but Riden seems a little. . . flat and almost buffoonish. Surely you are going to want some of your characters like that, but oddly enough, we grow to like your main character more when he is interacting with full characters with rich personalities. Perhaps an old friend on the Waterfront with a very likeable personaltiy and shady past for example. I'm talking some solidly developed characters beyond Tess. Speaking of supporting characters. . . Tess. My guess is you will soon introduce her. She, of course is the best example of what I'm talking about, and I expect her to win our hearts as well as Riden's. She, combined with your first person pov and humor should help things along nicely.

If this seems like a lot to weave in, let me submit that you are moving things along at a very fast tempo. That is covering a load of ground in a single chapter. If you need to slow down, you have plenty of room to do it. Only you know what will turn out to be important in the long run. Those are the things that should get lots of attention and full development. Are any of these things/characters going to be important? Carbon, Adamus, Gwilth?

Another thing to consider is the assassin's targets. Killing some target is ok - whacking pixels. Killing a target that you have richly developed makes it a big event. Whether the target deserves it or not, developing the target makes his death emotional for the reader.

Ok, enough rambling. Please take all that with a grain of salt. What I really want to say is that this is GOOD! Well done, Zerker. I'm looking forward to going to Aleswell with our assassin.

[DarkZerker]

Thanks for the words of advice. Carbon is just going to be one of those characters that is there to move the plot along. After all, every character has to have a horse, right Acadian? Looking at Superion.

Gwilth is just a sword...enough said. Based on Sun Tzu's Jian sword.

Adamus...well he's going to play a pretty big role in the Bladesong arc and a small role in the DB conflict arc.

[DarkZerker]

I have lots of time now! So look forward to a new chapter ever two days or so, but in other news, the story line will go like this. Bladesong Arc, then Dark Brotherhood conflict arc, then MAYBE the main quest arc, then finally a secret arc. Took me three hours straight to write this.

Acadian: Thanks for the advice. The assassinations are emotionless because well…Riden simply doesn’t care about the targets so far…but just wait.
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Chapter 3, The Aleswell Incident.
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It took me a good three hours before I made my way to Aleswell in search for the famed scroll Adamus told me about. When I arrived, the whole place was a ghost town with one exception you don’t see in a normal ghost town. A rake was skidding across a small farm with nobody there.

I was tired from the journey and anxious to get my hands on that scroll. I sighed heavily and yelled, “Alright! Where are you guys!?”

A voice of an Orc responded, “Shut up! Go talk to Diram if you really want to know.”

“If I find you, then you’re dead.” I said threateningly. ‘Idiot Orcs,’ I thought to myself.

A Dumner voice appeared from thin air, “Ah, so good for you to join us!”

I sighed, “What happened to this town?”

The man who I assumed was Diram replied, “This is the doing of an accursed mage. He lives out in a small fort close to here. You can even see it jutting out from the countryside.”

I looked all directions until, sure enough, a large marble fort looming over the landscape. It was very close and I could get there in a matter of minutes. I looked at the air and then shrugged, “I’ll fix your town…” I said, trying to contemplate if I’m really hearing voices or it’s just an invisibility spell.

I was right. The trip to the fort was very short. When I approached the courtyard of the fort, another voice came from nowhere. This time, it was very much human and very cranky, “Get out of my sanctum!”

I sighed, “Alright, I swear if you’re another invisible person, I’m going to do something we’ll all regret.”

The voice grumbled and I could hear footsteps. Surprisingly, the voice wasn’t invisible! It was actually an Altmer wearing ragged clothing with a staff attached to his back. The man was a mage, just like Diram said.

The mage was pretty grumpy, “What in all oblivion are you doing here?!”

“Apparently, you set an invisibility spell on the town of Aleswell and I’m here to seek a cure.” I said, trying to sound nice.

The mage practically threw a scroll at me, “Here! Take the scroll and leave me be. There’s a ring in it, remember to wear it and DO NOT take it off until you’re done with the scroll,” he said, putting heavy emphasis on the “Do Not” part of his directions.

I nodded and left for Aleswell. When I returned, I started hearing the voices of the townsfolk again. I couldn’t stand the madness any longer. Putting on the ring and whipping out the scroll, I muttered what it said on the scroll.

A bright flash of light enveloped the town and left me dazed and partly blinded. When my vision came back, all the other townsfolk were just as dazed as I was. Diram approached me, “Well done hero! From now on, Aleswell will forever be in your debt. You can stay in the inn as long as you want.”

“If you’re in my debt, do you know where Tess Rysan lives?” I asked smoothly.

Diram looked a bit puzzled at my question but nodded, “Sure…I just don’t understand why you would seek her out.”

“Something about a scroll that she’s selling?” I said.

Diram nodded, “Yes, and you don’t look like a mage. If anything, you look like an assassin.”

I laughed a bit on the inside at his stunning realization as his eyes widened as I showed him my arsenal, “You…are an assassin!”

His reaction finally did me in; I burst out laughing, “Yeah! Took you that long to realize eh?”

Diram regained his composure and spoke again, “You’re not going to kill any of us are you?”

“Maybe that Orc over there,” I said, pointing at the now visible Orc who was tending to the garden.

Diram pointed me to a small shack on the outskirts of town, “There’s Tess’ shop.”

I thanked him and left for the shack. When I came close to it, I realized it was very poorly built. Nails that held the walls were jutting out of the wood, the porch itself looked like a deathtrap with rickety flooring that most would think would reveal some sort of trap door.

I glared at the horribly made building and knocked. A very soothing voice started speaking, “Who is it?”

“I’m here for the scroll you’re selling,” I said.

“Of course, come right in!” She squeaked with excitement.

I rolled my eyes thinking if she greets all the customers with a excited voice as if they were her last.

I walked in and Tess immediately got to the counter. She was very beautiful, not with lots of make-up or magic, but naturally beautiful. Tess was kind of pale with very long hair, reaching to her lower back. But the most prominent part was a very well hidden expression of weariness like she’s seen warfare many times before.

“How much is the scroll you’re selling?” I asked, not at all dazed by her looks. It’s common for a rogue assassin to never be dazed by charms but some are better than others.

“Yes, of course! Here it is,” she said excitedly as she slid me a small scroll with a huge symbol that’s commonly used by commoners as “warning.”

“So how much is it?” I asked, reaching into my pocket for my pouch of gold.

“The last person to walk in was prepared to give me 2500 gold for it. So you need to get over 2500 gold to get it.” She announced.

“No problem,” I said, handing her the whole pouch of gold, “I’ve got about 2700 gold in there and I don’t want to bother counting.”

Tess and I shook each other’s hands and she started to look very anxious. I raised an eyebrow, “Tess, is something wrong?”

She shook her head as if she’s trying to get rid of a distant memory, “No…I just feel a bit anxious about Jongeron’s arrival.”

“Jongeron, you mean the traveling merchant?” I asked, remembering him from a contract quite a long time ago.

“Yes! How do you know him?” She asked.

I quickly went through my brain, thinking about a good cover story for my real profession, “I’m a…mercenary.” I quickly said.

“Oh…well Jongeron hasn’t replied back to my letters or showed up to Aleswell. He’s the only merchant that passes by Aleswell regularly and the only person to stock my shelves with food.” She said. I could’ve sworn I saw tears in her eyes.

“I’ll go looking for him. Know his schedule?” I asked.

Tess looked genuinely shocked by my proposal, “No, you’re probably tired from that ordeal with the invisibility spell on this town.”

She kept babbling on and I raised a hand to stop her, “No it’s okay. I’ll go check out when happened.”

Tess had a wide smile on her face, “Thank you so much! He usually travels on the road from here to Chorrol. Thanks again! I don’t understand why you’re trying to help me though. What’s your name?”

“Riden Snowe.” I said.

“Oh well thanks again!”

I nodded and left. After getting Carbon ready for travel, I traveled on the road, looking for any dead body or merchant. I had an odd feeling I couldn’t shake that Jongeron was killed by…something.

Sure enough, after a couple hours of maneuvering through forts and ruins, I found the body of Jongeron. I knelt down and checked to see if there was any letter or note on his person and sure enough, there was.

But before I had a chance to read it, the largest Orc I’ve ever seen roared triumphantly and charged towards me with a battleaxe the size of a child.

Before it could cut me in two, I barely dodged it, the axe hitting the ground and bringing up a small plume of dust. The Orc seemed even more enraged than it already did, pulling the battleaxe out of the ground with stunning speed.

In less than a couple seconds, it was back on its feet. Before I could pull out Gwilth, it was very close to me. Instead of a full forced headshot, it swept at my legs. While I tried my best to dodge, the Orc was very strong. It didn’t hit full on but the humongous axe scraped at my waist. A very bad cut was inflicted and I knew I couldn’t get the battle to drag on any longer.

The Orc was fast and strong and there was no way to fight him head on. So I ended up goading the Orc to attack at a small tree behind me. Thankfully, the axe didn’t go all the way through and the Orc ended up taking a long time to pull it out.

Right when it turned to face me, Gwilth impacted its heavy black armor and hit its mark, giving a clean stab. When I pulled Gwilth out, the Orc fell with a thud.

Heavily wounded and battered, I had to head back to Aleswell. I started to pass out on Carbon but kept myself alive and conscious until I reached Tess’ shack.

Carbon nearly threw me off and I limped to the door and when I opened it, Tess jumped, surprised at my grim expression.

When she noticed the blood dripping from my waist, she rushed to a small compartment and pulled out a colorful assortment of potions and some plain white cloth. I started to give out from the loss of blood. The last thing I remembered was Tess yelling, “Don’t give up Riden! Please fight!”
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Um…let’s see. I wish this stuff really did happen in Oblivion. Bladesong was very well made but linear at the same time. There’s no room for flexibility if you want to choose if you want Tess to have a romantic or normal relationship with you.

But other than that, I fabricated quite a bit here. The first time I played Bladesong, I nearly had a heart attack from the Orc. About Riden’s wound…the wound was just a deep flesh wound. Deep enough to clear the outer tissue and cause heavy bleeding but not deep enough to hit any vital organs. I had lots of time today to write this…not anymore though.

Watch for Chapter 4, Tess' Mind(maybe not an official chapter).
I'm going to experiment with somebody other than Riden's POV to see what will happen. What do you guys think?

This post has been edited by DarkZerker: Jul 24 2010, 06:00 AM

[Winter Wolf]

Welcome to the land of fan-fics!

I must say I have enjoyed the story so far. It is interesting to see how other people portray assassins in their own writing, it is certainly not an easy thing to do.

I really liked that your assassin is rogue, the assassin creed thing is something I do understand, having put heaps of hours into that game. It also allows you to have a unique personality in your character rather than just have him tow the DB line. I thought that some of the dialogue bordered on slapstick and was concerned that it woud grate on me, but it didn't. It actually allowed you to offset him from the cold, uncaring DB.

The first few chapters; however, were too rushed. Bravil is a city that simply cries out to be described. It was a lost opportunity to not let the ramshackle place win us over. People and places need to be lingered upon, not just rushed past, especially in an assassin story. Remember that we only see what you see, and if you draw nothing in our minds then it is hard to paint a picture.

There is nothing more horrifying then when the assassin strikes, it shocks us to the core. Think of all those times you took down people in assassin creed by driving them into the ground with the hidden blade. It was an awesome moment, no? If you spend time to linger upon the contract hit and paint the picture around us then we can feel it too. Spend the time to also bring out the emotion rush that the character feels, it will help to lift him from the screen.

Looking forward for more. Cheers!

This post has been edited by Winter Wolf: Jul 24 2010, 09:22 AM

[Acadian]

Acadian: Thanks for the advice. The assassinations are emotionless because well…Riden simply doesn’t care about the targets so far…but just wait.

Oh, I wasn't talking about Riden's reactions to killing. I was talking about the readers' reaction. The assassin, during his days of 'researching' his target can provide objective observations that develop the character of the target. Only if the target comes to life, will the reader care if they die - if that makes sense. Three examples, assuming that Riden will be practicing his profession in the future:

1. Do Riden's cool, trained observations of his target's words and deeds reveal the mark to be a spoiled young Dunmer who beats his horse, cheats merchants, curses at beggers and laments the fact that he cannot buy an Argonian as a slave in Cyrodiil? A silent blade on a dark night as he bleeds out on the cobblestones will elicit a reaction from the reader.

2. Is the target a middle-aged balding Breton who runs a store? Does he work hard every day and give a break to regular customers who have fallen on hard times? Does he let his stock boy go home early one day because it is the boy's birthday? Does he close up shop and take a small bunch of flowers home to his wife every night? One night, as his wife opens the door to greet him, an arrow pierces his back and flowers fill the air as his lifeless body lurches into the arms of his screaming widow. She falls to the ground, cradling his head and wailing loudly. That will elicit a reaction from the reader.

3. For a bizarre twist, take example two above and add the following: The widow looks up from the corpse of her husband and, with tearless eyes, she scans the empty rooftops across the deserted street. The corner of her mouth lifts into a smile as she says quietly, "Thank you assassin. Well worth the price." That will elicit a reaction from the reader.

Note that Riden's reaction or emotions do not even come into play here. Those are an entirely different matter.

*
Ok, on to the newest episode. This one was fun. I liked meeting Tess. I felt a little rushed, particularly as Riden solved the invisibility mystery. It was 'nice' to see Riden take some damage, revealing some vulnerability. One would not necessarily expect an assassin to be the greatest toe-to-toe fighter, and an orc is a formidable foe.

You asked about introducing POV changes. It certainly has some possibilities. While not common, some writers maintain a base 1p POV and then branch into other 3p POVs for different scenes. mALX is quite good at this. The forum here is definitely a good place to try that and see how it works. 3p can allow you to get into the heads of different characters and opens a world of possibilities. An assassination from the POV of the victim? Delicious.


A couple tiny technonits:

I rolled my eyes thinking if she greets all the customers with a excited voice as if they were her last.

I would change 'a' to 'an'.

She shook her head as if she’s trying to get rid of a distant memory, “No…I just feel a bit anxious about Jongeron’s arrival.”

You changed tense in the middle of the first sentence. Perhaps simply, 'She shook her head, as if trying to get rid of a distant memory, No…'

Arrgghh! I need to reduce the length of my comments.

[DarkZerker]

Yes, I will try to incorporate “emotion” into my next few chapters. So this chapter follows up after Riden gets tended to by Tess. Thanks to Acadian and yes even though I spent three hours on my last chapter, it was heavily rushed on the editing part.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 4, Flashbacks and a Dinner Date.
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I awoke on a bed that seemed like it wasn’t tended to for years. Tess stared down at me with eyes that conveyed sincere regret and worry. She started to pace around the shack, mumbling to herself.

I tried to get up but some intoxicating force pulled me back down. As my knees hit the floor, Tess ran to my aid. She pulled me up to my feet and sat me down on her bed. She looked very anxious for something.

She finally spoke after a minute of silence, “So how are you?” She asked casually.

“Just dandy…feels like I’ve been drinking fifty bottles of wine.” I mumbled.

Tess simply smiled at me, “Well I’ve been giving you potions I got from an alchemist who passed through here a couple weeks ago. But he suddenly disappeared.”

‘Alchemist…Alchemist…’ I thought, thinking about a traveling alchemist who the Bravil count wanted dead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Weeks ago. Time travel for the win!
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“Ah yes, Riden Snowe…the ‘famed’ assassin, please come into my magnificent castle,” the Count of Bravil said.

I walked into what really was a magnificent castle. The walls were covered with very fine silk and paintings of armors, previous counts, and even the slum town of Bravil. It seemed that the castle was the only thing that was remotely classy in Bravil.

Most of the guards knelt in the presence of the count but I simply kept my posture straight. The count looked at a steward and he left the room. When he came back, the steward planted a small stool in front of the throne.

I was guessing it was for me and I planted myself on the stool. The Count of Bravil was a notorious criminal but he said he was going to pay well for my “services” to Bravil.

He extended his hand and I shook it, “My name is Regulus Terentius. I’ve called you here because of your ability to make people…disappear.”

The count had a smug look on his face that made me uneasy but I shrugged it off, thinking about the possible payoff. I gestured for him to continue and the old Imperial kept talking, “I have an alchemist friend who didn’t give his end of a deal we had. He’s traveling to the Imperial City right now and passing a small town of Aleswell. Deal with it and you get yourself 2500 gold.”

I nodded, “Do you have any more information?”

The count shook his head, “Sadly I don’t. But there’s somebody who used to be the alchemist’s business partner who lives here in this nice town. I believe he’s a very old Bosmer merchant named Nordinor.”

Blind rage came to me when he mentioned Nordinor but I quickly shook it away.

I shook his hand once again, “You’ll see results in three days.”

The count clapped his hands like a small child, “Very good assassin! You will be under full protection from my guards so don’t worry about getting arrested in Bravil.”

I nodded and gave him a quick “thanks” before leaving the castle of Bravil. As I walked down the path from the castle, the painting of Bravil in the castle came to mind. The streets were just paths of dirt and manure, the shacks were either overgrown, destroyed, or both, and the whole place was full of diseased rats and mice. The only safe places were the Mages Guild and the castle it seemed.

I tried my best to hide my inner disgust of this wretched town but obviously, it still showed as I saw the townsfolk giving me stares. A beggar approached me and started to bug me about how he has no family or something. I really wasn’t paying any attention, the only thing that went through my mind was, ‘Happy thoughts…happy thoughts. Don’t attract too much attention…’

I grabbed and threw the diseased Imperial into a small rock nearby. He tried to crawl away but I was too fast for the beggar. In an instant, I put my dagger to his throat and whispered clearly, “Tell me where Nordinor is…and I might not kill you.”

The beggar looked straight at me with fear, “He’s…out near the stables…” he stuttered.

I pushed him away and ran as fast as I could, driven by the promise of gold but more importantly, some payback for Nordinor.

Sure enough, the Bosmer merchant was there, tending to his horse. I opened the stable doors and approached him. I drew Gwilth and kicked him hard in the back. Nordinor turned back, “What in Oblivion was that for?!” He screamed.

I pointed the light blue blade at Nordinor, “I guess you don’t remember me do you?” I asked calmly, “You know, the man you screwed over during the business deal with Sam?”

Nordinor started crawling back only to be stopped by a tall white horse. He stuttered out a response, “I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I mockingly laughed, “Well you don’t do you? Well I can refresh your memory real well.”

With a hard right hook, Nordinor fell to the ground. He spat out a glob of blood and stared at me with a glare like the wrath of a god. He came at me with a small kitchen knife, slashing away like it was a toy.

I easily parried it and kicked him hard in the gut, “So now then, on to business. I’m here in search of a traveling alchemist you did business with.”

Nordinor was a coward at heart and he showed his true colors immediately by selling out his former business partner, “He travels through Bravil every week. He’s coming to Bravil today…in three hours.”

I nodded and swiftly kicked Nordinor in the face, knocking him out. Sitting near the stables for three hours was no easy task but it was worth it when a Dumner rode into the city. The black cloaked Dumner was accompanied by a single guard wearing full ebony armor.

I followed the caravan into the city walls. The guards started whispering to each other when I walked in. Waiting for a perfect opportunity, I scaled up some shacks with ease due to Bravils architecture supporting stairs to roofs.

The alchemist sat down and pulled out some potions. When he pulled it out, the guard following him was occupied with chatting to a couple Bosmer girls. I struck like thunder.

Plunging my hidden blade deep within the alchemist, I spoke to his dying figure in whisper, “Know that I do not hate you, I do this out of my own survival. Let your gods take you into their loving embrace when you pass on.”

I laid his lifeless carcass on the ground peacefully while planting a small rose to give respect to the dead. The guard took notice immediately and lunged. Not wanting another confrontation, I ran for it.

After a lengthy chase through the grimy streets of Bravil, I was safely at the castle. The Count was the jolliest old man I’ve ever seen when I returned. He spoke excitedly, “So is he dead? Well is he?”

I nodded and held out my hand for payment. The Count dropped a medium sized pouch. I peered inside to see a mass of glimmering gold coins.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Present Time
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I remembered the whole scene. The alchemist I killed has saved my life…quite ironic. Tess eyed me with concern, “Riden? You okay?”

I nodded, “Yeah…and I think you might have guessed it but Jongeron is dead.”

She sighed, “Yes…I feared it was the truth after you came in with a horrible wound. I have to confess, you’re the most selfless and courageous man I’ve ever met….sorry. I know you’re still intoxicated from the ordeal with the creature and here I am rambling in front of you…”

I cut her off, “No it’s fine.”

Tess sat down next to me, “You’ve been there for me the moment I met you, I don’t know why you do this, I mean you’re a mercenary right?”

I nodded and she continued, “I don’t know why you helped me without once asking me for any reward. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want to get to know you better Riden.”

I smirked a little and went back to my neutral expression, “I’d like to get to know you a little better Tess.”

It seemed that was the right response. Tess immediately leapt up from her bed, “How about dinner, you and I?” She suggested.

“That would be lovely.” I said, “Will 9:00PM work for you Tess?”

She nodded and said, “Great! I’ll close up shop early today.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Today? How long was I out?”

“Just one day. Don’t worry; I’ve been taking good care of you while you were out cold.”

I thanked her and tried to head out. Tess blocked me and gently pushed me back on the bed, “No…you’re not fully healed and I don’t want you getting out there and getting killed,” she said, then she put on a sly smile, “Besides, I need some company you know.”

I nodded and took a quick look at my gear which was neatly placed near a row of cupboards and shelves near the back of the shack. Tess took a quick notice at my gear and said, “Never seen a mercenary wear gear like that. What company do you belong to?”

I sighed, thinking if I should really reveal my true profession to her. I decided to just play along, “I’m not in any company. I take contracts from anybody who has the money.”

She just replied with an “oh” and got to work with some meat. The chopping of the meat and the occasional sounds coming from Aleswell started to drive me crazy. I hated being cooped up in a confined space and the small insignificant sounds made it even worse.

Three hours passed and no end to the sounds came. Tess came over to my bed rest and proudly announced, “The food's done! We’ve got just an hour left until it’s all cooked and ready to eat.”

“Tess, I do have a question to ask you. I’m sorry if this offends you but you don’t look like a shopkeeper…” I said.

She had a big grin on her face and then giggled, “Well you aren’t the first person to say that. It’s true…running a shop felt very different and harder than I imagined.”

“What did you do before?” I asked.

She seemed genuinely irritated by the question. “Does it matter?” She snapped.

“I meant no offense Tess, just asking.” I muttered.

She looked a little saddened and just smiled through it, “Sorry…I just don’t want to talk about it.”

I nodded and started to lie down on the bed. I felt myself drifting off into sleep until a loud bashing sound was heard. Tess looked as scared as ever and I felt myself instinctively limping to my gear.

I grabbed my Royal Dagger. As the sounds of bashing started to increase in frequency, I gripped the hilt of the steel dagger. The bashing stopped and an eerie silence fell upon the cabin. Then the door flew open and another Orc, much like the one that nearly killed me appeared with a large war hammer.

Tess was frozen with fear and the Orc exploited it. It hit her straight in the arm and then started pummeling her. I mustered all the strength I could and plunged my dagger, “Hope you burn in hell…” I whispered to the dying Orc.

Then, three Imperial Legion foresters also burst in. All of them noticed me instantly and pulled their bows on me while I snatched Gwilth to attack. "Assassin!" One of them shouted.

All of them wore basic chainmail and had flimsy wooden bows but I knew these foresters are amazingly accurate with bows. I sheathed my sword and explained what happened with the Orc.

The foresters understood and one approached me, “Listen, we can get your friend some help but we need your help in clearing this town of these abominations.”

I smiled and worked my way out of Tess’ shack into the center of the village. The forester who approached me before started to bark out orders, “Alright men, we need to purge this city of these monsters, me and the assassin will go to the tavern while you two go to the houses,” he announced.

“Let’s do this…”
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This was in reality the longest chapter as of right now. I started this chapter yesterday night and finished it off this morning. Oh and before anybody says anything, obviously the foresters would notice an assassin. After all, they are trackers.

Bladesong rewrite? Well I guess, I didn't spend a lot of time editing this and instead spent more time refining it the first time through.

This post has been edited by DarkZerker: Jul 24 2010, 10:55 PM

[Acadian]

I liked it Zerker! Nice job. It seemed to move at a good pace that didn't feel rushed. I liked how you put a little meat on the characters of the Count and Nordinor, and provided some atmosphere to Bravil.

A couple minor nits:

I mockingly laughed, “Well you don’t do you? Well I can refresh your memory real well.”

Here you use the word 'well' three times in close proximity. This is one of the things to look for in final edits. I would rework the passage to only use it once.

Tess sat down next to me, “You’ve always been there for me, I don’t know why you do this, I mean you’re a mercenary right?”

This seems very sudden for a man she just met only a day or so ago? Or am I perhaps missing something?

“The foods done!

I don't think you want the plural of food without a verb (which is what you have); rather I suspect you meant 'the food is done' contracted to 'the food's done'. That is: food's, not foods.

This post has been edited by Acadian: Jul 24 2010, 10:46 PM

[DarkZerker]

The line you're talking about from Tess was in the actual game and I really didn't find any other line that was suitable at the time. Oh and I editteded it. That's like editing but x2 more ed.

This post has been edited by DarkZerker: Jul 24 2010, 10:56 PM

[DarkZerker]

Acadian is my only supporter. T_T...I need fans, they keep me cool. Puns ftw.

[DarkZerker]

Chapter 5! I’m writing this because it’s really hot outside even though its night and I got nothing better to do. Let’s go!

Acadian: No, Tess didn’t see Riden before the shop…or did she? No…she most likely didn’t.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 5, Thomak fails at being a Doctor.
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As planned, the four of us split up. The Forester and I charged at the tavern while the other two gave cover to us with their bows. The Orcs were mostly gone except for one in the tavern

The two of us easily dispatched the lone Orc in seconds. We did a quick sweep of the area. The rickety inn was in no better condition than Tess’ shack. As I climbed up the stairs to the bedrooms, all I could think about was if Tess was all right.

Still distracted, I quickly looked through the bedroom and gave the Forester an “all clear” signal. He nodded and gestured for me to follow. We exited the tavern and regrouped at the middle of the town.

I eyed the Forester, “Alright team! We’ve concluded that…everybody here is dead. Let’s move on.” He announced.

That was too much for me. I grabbed at his chainmail and pulled him close to me, “Tess is alive and I swear if you don’t help her, I’ll kill you.”

He struggled against my grip and finally sighed, “Alright, I’ll help her.” He said.

I threw him towards the direction of Tess’ hut and smiled, “That’s better.”

The man walked in and examined Tess’ bloody body. He sighed, “Alright, she’s beyond our help.”

The news struck me hard. I knelt down by Tess’ body and looked at her broken figure. The man looked genuinely saddened by my reaction and put a hand on my shoulders, “But I do know one man who can fix your beloved.”

I sprang up and looked him directly in the eye, “Who?”

He pulled out a map and circled the Ancestor Moth temple. I looked at him and back down at the map. He extended his hand, “Captain Grenaw.”

I shook it, “I think you know who I am.”

“Go to the Ancestor Moth temple and seek out a monk named Thomak, look for wooden markers that will lead you to him.” He recited.

Grenaw handed me a ring that shone despite the lack of light anywhere. It started to flash and I suddenly saw the map he pulled out start to glow. I slowly pointed at the Ancestor Moth temple and then darkness.

When I could see again, a very cold wind blew through the air. I looked around, curious and a bit scared at what happened. The sun was high in the sky and the snow reflected the beam of light straight at a large temple made of very fine stone.

I now knew what just happened. The ring teleported me to the Ancestor Moth temple the moment I chose a location on the map. ‘I’ll call it “Fast Travel,”’ I thought to myself.

I started a search of the wooden post. By sheer luck, I came across a wooden pole carved with the face of an eagle. I started my trek there.

In a mere hour, I was half way to the top of the Jerrall Mountains. By then, the wind was relentless and was stabbing me all the way. The frigid cold soon made me very sleepy. It took all my willpower to cross the icy mountains.

The sun was almost down by the time I reached the top. It was even colder now and I was at wits end with the endless caps of snow and the relentless blizzards that soon started to drive me to madness.

I collapsed near the entrance to a cave. ‘Thomak…it’s his cave…’ I thought, too tired and weary to even talk. With all the remaining strength left in my body, I struggled at the door for a while and it flew wide open.

I limped over to a bald man wearing pure white robes like all the other monks. Only this monk wasn’t wearing a blindfold.

He spoke with a roar, “Who dares enter my sanctum?!”

The warmth of a small fire in the cave started to give me some strength, “Thomak?”

He nodded, “I need your help with a friend.” I said.

He looked irritated, “So what do you want me to do about it?”

“I know you can heal…” I said, my voice trailing off and losing hope.

He nodded and positioned himself directly in front of me, “Who is the person you wish to save?”

“Tess Rysan. She’s currently unconscious in Aleswell and…” Thomak cut me off.

“Silence…I need concentration. Yes…I see this Tess. She’s in a very bad state but nothing I cannot handle. But I need to know, do you care enough for this girl that you are willing to sacrifice your own life for her?” Thomak asked.

I was taken back by the question. Of every instance of dealing with lives of mortals, I’ve been tasked to take away another persons life. Not to take my own away. After careful calculations and reasons, I gave up and decided it was time to listen to my gut for once.

“Yes.” I proudly declared.

“Very well then, I’ll start the transfer of your life essence immediately. Know that the pain will be excruciating.” He said.

Then, the monk started to mumble unintelligible gibberish before releasing a slew of lightning bolts that descended from the roof of the cave. It started hitting random spots around me before finally striking something…and that something was me.

I felt the shock traveling down my entire body and every place it traveled by, a very fast and sharp pain ricocheted through every nerve end. The frigid cold outside was nothing compared to the burning shocks of right now. The pain was too much, I hit the floor and the world went black.

When I awoke, I felt nothing. Thomak eyed me as I got up, perfectly fine. He laughed, “Well now, you might be the first person with that much resilience. Congratulations, and for your reward? Well I think you’ve proven yourself to be a part in the Alliance. Oh and don’t worry about Tess, she’s fine.”

“The Alliance...well I’m not a ‘good guy’ kind of person.”

Thomak nodded, “Yes, I sensed that when I was healing Tess. But you’re destined for great things Riden Snowe. You may not think that now but soon, you will know what I’m talking about.”

I looked at Thomak and at the entrance to the caves. Frost was accumulating on the cave entrance and I shuddered at the thought of going there again. “So the Alliance huh? Well where are these guys?”

He pulled out another map and gave me a small scroll. The moment I touched the scroll, a pulse filled the room and I yet again, teleported.

This time, I was in a place far north. The hills were covered in snow and it was just white and green as far as the eye could see. I could see that it was nightfall and that means these Orcs will attack me at any moment.

I pulled out Gwilth and jogged towards a small flickering flame out in the distance. The plains was very vast and open, the wind was surprisingly very warm for Skyrim. It took hours to reach the Alliance Encampment.

When I arrived, there were Legion soldiers, fighter’s guild members, and even a couple mages ready to do battle. The camp was nothing more than pitched tents, some for the commanders and others for the soldiers.

I hesitantly walked in. The Legion noticed my white assassin armor, “Assassin! There’s an assassin in the camp!” They yelled.

The allies all rushed in and grabbed me. One of the Legion Commanders glared at me with pure anger in his eyes, “What the hell do you want Assassin?”

When I didn’t answer, a powerful kick hit me in the stomach, “Tell us now Assassin or we feed you to the Dagrukai.”

I coughed out a response, “To join the Alliance. I’m sure you know of Captain Grenaw?”

The Legion commander and the Fighter’s Guild all laughed together, “Ha! All you assassins can do is hiding whenever you’re uncovered. You’ll be very tasty for the Dagrukai tonight.”

I sighed, “I recommend you keep me here.”

One of the leaders of the Alliance spoke up, “Why should we?”

I let out a mocking laugh, “Because if you don’t, I’ll test myself to see how many of you I can kill before I fall.”

Then, a girl wearing pure ebony armor stepped forward. She waved her hand to let the Legion troopers off me. The girl stared at me intensely, studying my face and my armor. Then she had a glancing smile before it turned into a scowl.

“Riden…” she whispered, before shoving me down on the floor.

“Tess…glad to see you’re all better.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cliffhanger…well obviously, it took me three days to write this gem since I’m bored out of my mind right now. Well yeah…R&R! Even if it took me three days or so, I didn't edit as much as I should have.

My next chapter will be the end of the BLADESONG ARC!! Only two arcs left until this fan fiction is officially over! Of Love and War…check it out in a day or two.

[Acadian]

Oh, this was great! Nice job with fast travel. The ring explains why everyone is not popping all over Cyrodiil all the time. Good job with the healer. Oh my, cliffhanger indeed. We have healed Tess, but what have we created? I flash back to Tess' reluctance to talk about her past.

This was fascinatingly fun to read!

[DarkZerker]

Yep, I’ve gotten to work on Chapter 6 the moment I finished chapter 5. Why? Because I want to finish this Arc!! Alright, here we go! Oh and there’s a pretty weird twist, I don’t know why I put it in. It just came to me.

A rated T situation with very light suggestive themes...I warned you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 6, Of Love and War
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“Tess…glad to see you’re all better.”

She looked at me with eyes like knives. Tess gave a hard kick as pure ebony hit me square in the chest. I started to cough up blood and Tess sighed, “Riden…I can’t believe it…”

She helped me up before grabbing the front of my armor, “I can’t believe you lied to me! An Assassin!? How can you live with yourself?” She screamed.

“I was born into an assassin family. This is what I’ve been doing for the past 15 years since I was 13 years old.” I said bluntly.

“That doesn’t give you an excuse Riden! What’s wrong with you?” She yelled.

“How many people have you killed Tess?” I asked.

She had tears in her eyes as her expression turned from pure anger to sorrow. A small tear ran down her check.

Tess let go of my shirt and hugged me tightly, “I’m still your friend…but tell me. Why did you deceive me?”

I sat on a small stool near the fireplace, “I didn’t want you to hate me. You see Tess; I know that you were almost killed a year ago.”

Her mouth opened, “How do you know that?” she said, with total fear in her voice.

“The incident in Chorrol was no accident. I was contracted to kill you, Tess Rysan. It was my first assassination contract that I failed.” I said with genuine regret.

She sat down across from me and didn’t say a word. I continued, “I didn’t know your name, or your face. You remember that floorboard that exploded into flames? Well it was for you, but luckily for you, another guild member stepped on the board before you.”

“How did you know that was me if you didn’t know my name?” She asked.

I sighed and remembered our first meeting, “Before I bought the scroll, I noticed your face was very similar to the contract victim. Then I realized it was you when we exchanged the scroll.”

Tess was enraged before she started sobbing. She got up and headed for the commanders tent.

The Fighter’s Guild members stared at me, “You…you tried to kill a member of the Fighter’s Guild?”

“Many times, you fighter’s guild members are usually drunken and rowdy. Many people hate you for that.” I pointed out.

They left with me alone on the fire.

An hour passed before I got ready to meet Tess for the debriefing. When I entered her tent, Tess was still sobbing softly on a small desk.

I wrapped my arms around her. Tess stiffened for a moment before bursting into tears. She repeatedly apologized for attacking me while I comforted her to the best of my abilities. When she got under control, Tess smiled, “Thanks, I needed that.”

I returned the smile and got onto the main business, “Alright Tess, I need to know everything we’re up against.”

Tess fell back on her bed and spoke each word very strongly, “The Dagrukai…they were the ones who massacred Aleswell, killed Jongeron, and nearly killed both of us. They are in an encampment a bit north of here. We attack tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow…we don’t even have a plan do we?”

Tess got up and shook her head sadly, “No…we don’t.”

She held my hands, “Whatever happens tomorrow, I’m glad you’re with me.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Really? Whatever happened to not trusting me?”

Tess went completely red and tears started to form. I quickly reassured her it was just a joke and she seemed to relax. She got up from the bed and got close to me. I started to feel nervous and Tess seemed to enjoy every moment of it.

She leaned forward and did what I never expected she would do. Tess kissed me passionately inside the tent. We stood there for a couple seconds, forgetting the worries of the battlefield. The two of us faded out of the real world into our own little paradise. Just for this night, we could forget where we were and what we were about to face.

I dream of a place, where no light shines. Where darkness clouds the very face of the land. Then, a robed man appears. I dream of a loved one, crying out to save her as the robed man attacks without mercy on the people who are closest to me. The world starts to fade away as everybody I care about disappears. I awake in agony the next morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next morning…THE FINAL BATTLE…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I woke up in a small greenish tent. Tess was peacefully lying beside me, fast asleep. I peered out the flap of the tent to see all the allies suiting up for battle. A Legion trooper approached me, “Wake up Captain Rysan and get your things ready assassin!”

I gently shook Tess awake and she started panicking, “Riden? What’s going on? Did we oversleep? Please tell me we didn’t oversleep…”

I cut her off before she started asking more questions, “We woke up right on time. Hurry and suit up. It’s time for the battle.”

Tess and I suited for battle. I grabbed the one thing that might save us all, the scroll Tess gave me in the beginning of this madness. Then I did something no assassin would do, I prayed to the Nine for their blessings.

The Alliance Army was ready. Tess and I took to the front column and we marched across the snowy plains. The army stopped the moment they saw the Dagrukai. They were a hundred strong, with very heavy powerful armors and weapons from spears to axes. I compared it to our army. We barely had thirty men ready for battle, our weapons were better but we were the underdogs in this fight.

The Dagrukai took stance, in three platoons of 33 with one member standing taller than the rest. ‘It’s the leader…’ I thought.

We arranged ourselves in three boxes of ten men each. An Imperial Legion general was in front.

The air itself was distilled during our standoff. Every small detail came to life, the lack of wind, the snow itself stopping for our battle. Everything was set; it was just a matter of who can kill who.

“Ready…” said the Imperial Legion General.

We all got our weapons ready. The leader of the Dagrukai simply raised his two handed sword. It was made of red metals I’ve never seen before. The entire army of Dagrukai raised their weapons with a roar that shook the very ground we stood on.

Tess’ voice chimed in, “May the Nine be with you my love.”

The Dagrukai leader roared and the Imperial General responded, “ATTACK!”

At that moment, both armies charged at each other. Our archers probably took out a good fifty Dagrukai before we collided. When we did though, everything changed. The general and a good chunk of our forces were taken out by the leader.

I pulled out the scroll and opened it. The moment the seal broke on the scroll, everything seemed to slow down. The Legion troopers and the Dagrukai fighting were all in slow motion.

The Dagrukai leader was charging at me in slow motion. Even though my body was in slow motion, my mind was at the same pace as before. It was easy to parry the demonic sword from him. With one strong thrust of Gwilth, the armor was penetrated and the leader was mortally wounded.

When my blade made contact, the entire world became normal again. With the leader dead, the Dagrukai were shaken up. We made sure it stayed that way by unleashing a flurry of blades into their ranks.

In minutes, their ranks were all gone. Our remaining soldiers threw their weapons to the ground and flung their helmets to the sky, cheering.

I looked around for Tess and she was nowhere to be found. One of the Fighter’s Guild pointed at the encampment of the Dagrukai, “It’s Tess Rysan! What’s she doing?”

Tess was charging straight forward with her huge claymore. “Tess! You’re going to get yourself killed!” I yelled. But it had no effect. She was hell bent on killing every last Dagrukai, including the ones in the camp.

Without thinking myself, I rushed after Tess. The snow on the ground ran red in the blood of both the Dagrukai and our own army. She seemed to ignore everything except the small fort up north.

The fort was covered in sharp wooden spikes with small cottages and tents inside the stronghold. It was easy enough to get in the fort but when we arrived, the Dagrukai took notice. Three of the large Orcs stood from a small camp site and advanced on Tess.

She fought like a demon, slashing at the heavily armored Orc. One was taken down but the other two grabbed her arms and one who was still sitting stood over her. It raised a large steel hammer, ready to bring it down on her.

“No!” I yelled. Without thinking, my hand autonomously went to my Royal Dagger. I unsheathed it and threw the steel blade straight at the attacking Orc. It met its mark with deadly accuracy. The attacking Orc fell on Tess as the other two started to lift up the carcass of their fallen comrade.

I reached Tess just in time for a small scuffle with two Dagrukai. With quick footing, I easily got the Orc off balance and with a quick shot with the Hidden Blade, it was dead. Tess was still fighting the last one.

She was using brute force, overpowering the Orc with her massive claymore. Every strike seemed to tire both of them out. Until she found an opening in the Orcs defense and brought down the heavy blade straight down on its skull.

“It’s over…the war that ended in one decisive battle…” I whispered, contemplating the battle that ended the war between the Dagrukai and the people of Cyrodiil.

Tess on the other hand didn’t contemplate anything. She looked around the now empty fort. Then Tess readied her weapon like the battle wasn’t over, as if another wave was approaching.

I approached Tess and put my hand gently on Tess’ shoulder and leaned forward, “It’s alright Tess…we won the battle.” I soothingly whispered in her ear.

She turned to me and looked at me with tear filled eyes. Tess embraced me and cried, “Where will I go from here? My home…everything is gone now. I…I don’t know what to do.”

I smiled, “You have a home with me Tess.”

She smiled with tears streaming down her cheeks before collapsing on the snow covered ground.

“Tess, are you all right?” I asked.

She got up and dusted the snow off of her ebony armor, “Yeah…I’m fine. I’m just really tired.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day later, back in Cyrodiil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We arrived at the Imperial City. Tess was exhausted from the travels and so was I. She was starting to get sick from unknown causes and was vomiting this morning. I started to worry but she assured me it was just from the lack of sleep.

I nodded and walked up to the Imperial City. The Legion welcomed me in due to my help dealing with the Dark Brotherhood. The city was magnificent even though I lived here my whole life. I think it’s because of the fact that we passed through hovels and small villages that make the rear end of a cow pleasant.

Tess excitedly started to ask a bunch of questions, “Wow…the Imperial City. So where’s your house? How about a good restaurant? Is there a good civilized place to relax?”

I pulled her along to a normal house in the Talos Plaza district. It was decorated with flowers all around and Tess was impressed. She opened the door and seemed happy with what she saw.

It was just a regular house. A round wooden dining table, some cupboards and barrels to store food, and some books were scattered around the main floor. I thought this was normal but Tess was impressed.

She lunged into a hug, “Thanks Riden! I’ve never lived in an upper class home before.”

I fought the urge to laugh, “Tess, this isn’t upper class. This is normal furnishings and a middle class design. But if you like it, I’m happy.”

She smiled before stumbling upstairs looking for the bed. I guided her to my bedchamber and she fell asleep immediately. Looking at her sleeping, I started to feel very warm inside.

My life with Tess just started. An assassin and a former Fighter’s Guild member might not be the best couple but at least we’re both happy together. I wonder what’s up with Tess’ morning sickness.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
END OF BLADESONG ARC

YES!! I finally finished the Bladesong arc. Don’t expect the Dark Brotherhood conflict arc for a while. I’ll be writing up some filler in between. Oh and if you don’t get the foreshadowing…MORNING SICKNESS. What do you think that means? After all, they did uh…you know before the battle.

I spent too much time writing the actual story than editing. Sorry, it's a habit.

Alright, since I finished the arc...time for song...

This was a triumph...
I'm making a note here, HUGE SUCCESS
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction
Aperture Science....We do what we must because we can
For the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead
'cause there's no sense crying over every mistake...we just keep on trying till we run out of cake
And the science gets done and we make a neat gun for the people who are still alive...

I'm not even angry...
I'm being so sincere right now
Even though you broke my heart and killed me
And tore me to pieces
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burnt it hurt because I was so happy for you
Now these points of data make a beautiful line
Now we're out of beta we're releasing on time
So I'm glad I got burnt, think of all the things we learned for the people who are still alive...

Go ahead and leave me...
I think I prefer to stay inside
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you
Maybe Black Mesa...
That was a joke, Ha ha fat chance.
Anyways this cake is great, it's so delicious and moist
Look at me still talking when there's science to do
When I look up there it makes me GLaD I'm not you
I've got experiments to run, there is research to be done, on the people who are still alive...

And believe me I am still alive
I'm doing Science and I'm still alive
I feel fantastic and I'm still alive
When you'll be dying I'll be still alive
When you are dead I'll be still alive

Still Alive....Still Alive.

WOO HOO!!