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> A DEAD MAN'S TALE, the story of a dying man
Mazelure
post May 23 2006, 03:36 AM
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A Dead Man’s Tale


Diego could be seen drinking bottle after bottle of flin… everyone in the bar was staring at him… “How can a man drink so much?” was in everyone mind. Everyone’s except one… a young boy who could see through Diego’s desperate attempt to numb the pain… by filling the empty hole inside with alcohol…he has seen it before in others… but none showed as much pain and desperation as Diego…

Diego felt cold and empty inside… he no longer cared about what others thought… he just wanted to replace the pain with something… with anything… but he knew that no amount of alcohol will ever fill the hole inside his chest… but he had to try even if it was in vain… even if it killed him.

Each flin he drank helped him face the truth… that he was alone… that he will always be alone… that he was already dead inside… only that his brain did not know it yet.

His eye were empty of emotion, slowly scanning his surroundings… watching all… then gazing at the table before him… filled with empty bottles of flin… and then the beautiful melody crawled in his ears and into his intoxicated brain.

Such melody… “Music of the gods” Diego slowly whispered.

It got louder and louder… and with the increase of volume Diego’s pain decreased in size. He slowly turned to the left to see a young Breton boy playing a lute that fit perfectly in his arms… as if it was a part of him… an extension of his arms…

“Leave me alone child… I have no money… I have nothing… so just leave this poor man to his drinking…” Diego whispered the words slowly as if every one pained him to speak.

“Don’t worry… this song is free of charge” the boy responded with concern in his eyes and sadness in his voice.

“I don’t need your sympathy… I don’t need your charity either… but I will be willing to barter.” Diego told the small boy.

“I’m listening old man.”

“Now listen closely you fetcher… I will be willing to tell you how this once mighty hero lost everything… how I was loved and respected… how much my wife and children adored me… and how everything was taken away… ripped away from my grasp…and in exchange you will play that soothing melody to help ease the pain.”

“That sounds like a deal old man” the young child responded even though he truly did not wish to listen to this poor man’s story… he never liked listening about the suffering of others.

The bar was half empty now… and in the middle of the room a child could be seen playing a beautiful melody for a dyeing man… listening to a dead man’s tale…


I hope this is the beginning of a good story… and remember I’ll appreciate some criticism… and by the way…

Kudos… Kudos

This post has been edited by Mazelure: May 23 2006, 03:40 AM


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Kiln
post May 23 2006, 03:48 AM
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Interesting start mate, I especially liked the deal between the old man and the child (even if the child was reluctant to accept). Seemed pretty well done and I'm hoping that you are inspired to continue this one.


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He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. - Friedrich Nietzsche
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Joryn
post May 23 2006, 12:14 PM
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A very interesting, if rather melancholy tale. I can see that Im probably going to like this troubled soul who drowns his problems in Flin. tongue.gif Im looking forward to an update to find out more about this poor fellow. Good job.


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Kayla
post May 23 2006, 01:17 PM
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Looking forward to updates! I want to know about the old man. Keep up the good work!


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DarkHunter
post May 23 2006, 04:15 PM
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ohmy.gif Whoa... I'm speachless...

This post has been edited by DarkHunter: May 23 2006, 04:15 PM


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Ice
post May 23 2006, 04:36 PM
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:waits patiently for the next part of the story: ............ :Starts rocking back and forth: "it will come soon".......... :freaks out because he doesn't know what is about to happen:
Anyway, very nice job I really like the fact that there is so much detail in very little words ^^


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Mazelure
post May 23 2006, 11:08 PM
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Thanks for the support and here is a bit more... from

A DEAD MAN’S TALE


I was once a champion to my people… a hero who stood for justice… a hero to many… and to others I was so much more… but I failed them… and know they are all dead… and I cant even avenge their deaths…

My village was a small one… a peaceful one… the guards did there jobs and everyone else did theirs… but no matter how peaceful a village is… there will always be a shadow… and this shadow’s name was Kain.

Kain was a monstrous telvanni mage… he would send his minions in the middle of the night to kidnap innocent villagers… men and women… even children… he did not care… they all died equally the same by his sadistic hands. He would throw them in his dungeon and do to them whatever he pleased… he would try out his spells on them… to see witch spell could inflict the most possible damage upon his victims without killing them… just so he can use them to torture others…

I defeated the monster before… back when I was much younger… when his evil could not be stopped by the blades of brave men and women… but unfortunately I did not kill the beast… he ran to the shadow’s… wounded… and there he has stayed for years… licking his wounds… waiting and watching for the perfect time to strike…

As the years went by the village began to return to its peaceful ways… putting the nightmare behind them… forgetting of the dangers that hide in the dark… their life resumed as normal and I was declared the champion of the village… and a hero to the hearts of my people… but we were foolish…we just blinded ourselves to the true evil behind the shadows…

More and more years passed by… and I grew old… I married… I started a family… all the meanwhile Kain planned his revenge from the safety of the darkness…

When he did strike no one was prepared… so accustomed to the peace were the people that they’re weapons were thick with rust… even my sword had collected it’s fair share of rust… it had grown old and dull along with me…

He attacked in the dark… in the middle of the night… the entire village was awakened by the roars of the beast who were charging at us… and the entire night until dawn the village was filled with spine shivering growls … and with the battle cries of the brave men who stood up to protect they’re love ones…

If it wasn’t for the brave guards and healers of the village everyone would have been slaughter… I along with many men and women stood our ground after wave and wave of Clannfears and Dremora lords attacked our village… one by one they all fell… the guards worked together along with the healers… the guards engaged the beasts with battle while the healers attended to the wounded and fortified the physical abilities of everyone in need…

Until the daybreak… after hours of fatiguing battle… the entire village was under chaos and overwhelmed with dead carcasses all along the streets … creature upon creature… corpse upon corpse… the streets ran red with blood… of both beast and man… so many good men were lost but if it wasn’t for them many more would have died…

We all knew who was behind this… well at least we thought we knew…

Vengeance was burning within all the survivors… even the youngest of children had the desire to kill the monster behind this… and so it was decided… a group of warriors… under my leadership…would make the monster pay for his crimes… we would make his corpse burn in the fiery depths of oblivion for all eternity…

But anger and hatred always leads to the road of destruction… and the fate of the village was far worse than anyone could have predicted… now they are all dead…

I was left alive to die a slower death… even now I am dying… I am nothing more than a corpse… a corpse unable to rest…



That’s all I have for know but I’ll come back to post some more… By the way

Kudos Kayla, Ice, Kiln, Dark Hunter, Joryn, and anyone else who has or will read my story… Kudos

This post has been edited by Mazelure: May 23 2006, 11:48 PM


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Kiln
post May 23 2006, 11:57 PM
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Great so far Mazelure, can't wait to see what happens next. Great description of the fight with the deadra mate, keep it up. Oh and I appreciate your comments on my story mate, thanks a bunch. smile.gif

Anyways great story and I'll be looking forward to the next part man. Please continue soon. biggrin.gif


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He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. - Friedrich Nietzsche
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DarkHunter
post May 24 2006, 11:33 AM
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blink.gif... Sizzle... I see why this is 'A Dead Man's Tale' now...


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Mazelure
post May 25 2006, 01:02 AM
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No problem Kiln... by the way I appreciate your comment as well... I appreciate every comment I get... so without any more delay here is another update...


A DEAD MAN’S TALE

I remember those brave souls who I had the honor to have fight along side with… Garoth the humble healer…. Jasko the mighty crusader… and Sem the jolly scout…

Each one was the best at what they did… Jasko was a giant of a man… never wore any armor… except for Orcish greaves…. and that blasted war hammer he swung around like a mad man… Garoth was the complete opposite of Jasko… a small dunmer who could not have weighted more than a scrib… and Sem… Sem was the troublemaker… who was known for being in the wrong place in the wrong time… especially with the daughters of any noble man…

We set out on our quest as soon as we could… we said our good bye’s to our family and friends since we all knew that most likely we would not be coming back… and we set off… with Sem leading the way… the man was a trouble maker… but he was damn good at tracking down anything… you could have shot a arrow in the middle of a blight storm and he would be able to find it within seconds… he lead us through a abandon road and over hills… that to our miss fortune were populated with rouge ashlanders… people who he had not the best relationship with…

There was no rest… we could not rest… and if we did that meant losing Kain’s trail… something that we could not afford to lose… and so we marched through the night… Jasko killing anything that moved… Garoth watching quietly at Jasko’s barbaric ways… and Sem… Sem was actually doing his job…

We followed Kain’s stench to his lair… an abandon dwemer ruin…completely devastated… with only an entrance to a tower…

There was two guards at the entrance… two Dremora Lords… and without a doubt many more waited inside… Sem wasted no time… he prepared his bow and launched a arrow straight for the one farthest from the door… the arrow hit it’s target… it had pierced through the Dremora’s throat… but it did not die… instead it charged at us in a mad frenzy… along with his companion…

Jasko was preparing his war hammer… but there was no need for it… Garoth cast a control spell over the unharmed Dremora… we stood there and watch how the Dremora wielding a daedric claymore cut down his comrade in a matter of seconds…

Sem stood with his mouth hanging down several minutes after the Dremora had killed his own companion… amazed at how at a wave of a hand Garoth had converted the once deadly enemy into an ally…

Garoth in the other hand knew that his spell would not last long… he had the Dremora go in the tower and go on a rampaging frenzy… it did not live long… but it was able to slay a couple of his brethren before he himself was torn apart by the survivors.

I lead the way in the tower… walking over the dead corpses on the floor… and over our dead ally… who had helped us beyond what he could have imagined… only four Dremora’s were left alive after the confusing chaos… Jasko made easy work of two… and both I and Sem tackled down one… Sem shooting it in the kidney to restrain movement and I went in for the kill… all the meanwhile Garoth ducked and roll out of harms way until Jasko came and put a end to the last Dremora with one mighty swing of his hammer to the head of the unsuspecting creature.

We searched the dead creatures on the floor for anything useful… Jasko traded his Orcish war hammer for a daedric one… Sem picked up a daedric knife… Garoth gathered a couple of daedric dust and hearts… and as for me… I traded my silver blade for a daedric katana...

After we found what we needed… we climbed up to the dark chamber at the top of the tower… where Kain was awaiting us in the opposite side of the room…

He had changed much since we last met… his wounds healed into scars… one across his face horizontally and another vertically… and I did not doubt that there was another on his back… but he had changed in another way as well… his movement… his way of analyzing things were gone… replaced by madness… a crazed look was in his eyes… not that of a man seeking revenge… but that of a suicidal one… some one who would not care to die as long as others died with him…

The sight of Kain petrified Garoth… he could not move… and Kain took advantage of it… he cast a giant bolt of lightning towards Garoth direction… both Jasko and Sem were able to move out of the way… but Garoth did not… he was slammed against the dwemer wall by the might of the bolt… he fell to the floor and did not move… I did not know if he was dead or alive… but I did know that I had to act…

Before I could do anything Jasko let out a roar and charged at Kain… meanwhile Sem launched his arrows from afar… Kain reacted to both of them… he shot another bolt of lightning at Jasko witch send him flying across the floor… and cast a barrier to deflect Sem’s arrows… but one did reach him before the shield was summon… but unfortunately it did not hit it’s mark instead it barely scratch Kain’s leg…

Kain did not even let out a gasp of breath… as if the arrow did not even touch him… meanwhile Jasko was barely getting up… and Sem had the foolish idea to run and charge directly at him… and I was dumb enough to follow… as well did Jasko…

The monster casted another spell… this time it was fire… it hit poor Sem on the stomach… and as I looked in horror at Sem’s twitching body (witch was still ablazed) I manage to see Garoth on the floor… he was smiling… pointing his hand at Kain… and with his last breath Garoth cast a silence spell… Kain not aware was still laughing at the sigh of Sem twitching body… I charged at him and he tried to cast another spell but instead found himself with a whole in his chest… Kain was still standing… but not for long… Jasko was still charging and hit Kain in the stomach with a full blast of his hammer… it send Kain slamming against the dwemer wall the same way Garoth did… and he sank down to the floor…

He was not dead… he was sitting up… laughing… mocking us… I came closer to him… and he stared me right in the eye…

“What's wrong old man?” the boy asked as he saw a look of fear take hold of Diego’s eyes.

Diego took a deep breath… “Nothing… just keep playing…”

Kain did not damn me with his last gasp’s of breath… no… he took the time to tell me… he was not the real threat… he was just a puppet… obeying his masters orders… that he was nothing more than a shadow… in the darkness… but the darkness… hides much more than just shadows… and then he laughed… he died laughing… as a mad man…



I’m going to post the rest of the story tomorrow… or whenever I come up with the rest… until then

Kudos… Kudos

This post has been edited by Mazelure: May 25 2006, 02:16 AM


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DarkHunter
post May 25 2006, 01:10 AM
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laugh.gif a puppet!... Good fighting writing! ... ok that was odd...

This post has been edited by DarkHunter: May 25 2006, 01:10 AM


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Mazelure
post May 25 2006, 02:02 AM
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Thanks DarkHunter... I kinda dont like this story... since it's just like a opening story for another one... I'm just presenting one of my characters here so you can know him a bit more when I make his own fan fic... yeah thats why I havent put in that much detail or effort in this story... but I can tell you what I do like about this story... THE ENDING... it's going to be freaking awesome... well in my head it is... I don't want to spoil it for you so... I guess you're gonna have to wait for the finally... muahahahahahaha


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Kayla
post May 25 2006, 03:30 AM
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Great updates! I like the description, especially in battle. Keep up the good work!


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Joryn
post May 25 2006, 10:15 AM
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Heh, very interesting how this has played out. Im looking forward to seeing how it all goes along in the bigger picture. Great work Maze.


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Ice
post May 25 2006, 02:48 PM
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:claps his hands: Very nice ^^ Sorry I wasn't able to post after your update, I was working last night and not able to log on. I can't wait to hear the next chapter.

This is something that I noticed, you can take it or leave it, just a bit of help tongue.gif
I would work on your battle scene. Yes, it drew me in, but I found myself really lost in finding out what was going on. But maybe that was your attempt.
Take it or leave it, it's your story. Just a bit of advice ^^


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Mazelure
post May 26 2006, 04:45 PM
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No worries Ice and thanks for the advice… I probably would have polished the battle scene a bit more if I wasn’t in the hurry to reach the end… but rest assure that I will spent as much time as I need on my other battle scenes… by the way if the part when the boy asked Diego what was wrong was the one that confused you… you have to remember that all this time Diego has been telling his story and the boy has been playing his lute for him… I should make it more obvious since I keep forgetting that you guy’s cant read my mind… but I’ll remember next time…



A DEAD MAN’S TALE


Jasko and I were puzzled… if Kain was not the real threat here then who was? Who could be more malicious than Kain? The thought of someone more powerful than Kain frighten me… along with the knowledge that the village champions were away… it meant that… that the village can be attacked any minute now!

Jasko and I had no time to honor our fallen comrades. We had to race towards the village before something terrible would happened… to at least warn them of a bigger danger would have been enough… but we did not make it in time…we could not have been on time… the village was already attacked… the village has been destroyed since the day we had left it…

When Jasko and I arrived at our home… we only found the streets covered with the corpses of the people we had grown up with… the village was nothing more than a horrific sight that I could never haved imagined … guards laid on the floor with there heads several yards away from there decaying bodies… women’s corpses decorated the streets of our village… even the children’s bodies laid rotting allover the place… this was no longer our village… no… it was a gateway to oblivion… a gateway reserved for Jasko and I alone…

We were dumbstruked… we could not think… we could not move… we just stared at the devastated ruin of a village… until a eternity passed… and both Jasko and I began to regain our strength… and even then my stomach spasmed… never the less we began to explore the horrific sight… in search of any survivors… but we found none…

Instead we found an atrocity beyond imagination… within my very own house… my house decorated with the corpses of my wife and children… was the puppet master awaiting for our arrival…

The pure sight of him drowned me in a sea of despair… he was nothing short of a demon… a horrific beast from the deepest and darkest pits of oblivion… he was a giant… even surpassing Jasko in size… he wore nothing more than pitch black pants… his body was pale white… as if his skin has never seen daylight… well at least the skin that was not covered by those horrific demonic tattoos… even his face and bare head were covered by them… and his hands were drenched in dark crimson blood that without a doubt belonged to my family…

He stared at me… his eyes were smiling… overwhelmed with joy… and I found myself unable to move… to even breath… my entire body was paralyzed… but Jasko was not… and he was seeking revenge…

Jasko charged at him… restraining nothing as he was completely consumed in rage… his furry would not be stopped by any mortal… but unfortunately for Jasko the monster was not mortal… he could not have been… the damn thing ripped Jasko apart… with it’s bare damn hands… I could only watch in horror how the monsters tattoos came to life and completely tore Jasko to shreds.

I sat and watch the whole thing unable to move… I heard how Jasko screamed… I heard his flesh being torn apart… but I could do nothing… no matter how hard I tried… I could only watch as the monster sliced Jasko’s flesh along with his soul…

The monster had his fun… and decided to finish Jasko off… his tattoo on his right arm came to life… it extended and then it transformed into a long blade… a blade with the ability of movement… it wrapped itself around Jasko’s neck and… and Jasko’s suffering had come to an end… but not mine… mine would be much worse than Jasko’s fate…

The monster walked up to me… his voice was cold and sharp like broken glass… he told me he will kill me… he will kill me in a much slower way… but never the less… I will die… and so I have… ever since that day a year ago… I’m nothing more than a corpse… a corpse decaying from the inside out…

Diego was back in the bar… with the boy standing next to him… the boy had stopped playing his lute for a while now… the boy was speechless… unable to respond to Diego’s story… he had heard stories of dark nature before… but this one truly froze his blood ice cold…

Diego looked at the small boy… and then he saw it… he saw the boy’s soul… a clean one… a soul untouched by evil… and then Diego felt red hot shame… shame for exposing such a pure soul to his own horrific past… to his horrific nightmare that haunted him night after night… day after day… never letting him rest… killing him slowly without remorse…

“Take me to my room boy… it’s up the stairs and to the far left corner” Diego told the small boy… and the small boy obeyed… he grabbed Diego by the arm and walked him to his room…

Diego slowly raised his hand and took out a small key out of his pocket… he inserted it to the lock and opened the door o so slowly… he walked in by himself and left the door wide open… the boy gazed inside the room and saw a red bottle on top one of the dresser… for some reason the bottle grabbed the boy’s full attention and it would no let it go… it did not let go until Diego returned with a small amulet in his hand… he tied it around the Breton boy’s neck and sent him on his way home…

The child looked down at his new amulet… it gave off this warm comforting feeling… the boy hold on to it with his hand until he reached home and got ready for bed…

That night the boy kept dreaming of the red bottle inside of Diego’s room… when he awoke the next morning the picture of the bottle still burned within his brain… he could not keep his curiosity at bay… he decided to go and ask Diego what it was…

The boy got dressed and grabbed his lute… he ran toward the bar… but when he reached the entrance he saw two guards and the owner of the bar talking… when he got closer to them… the manager grabbed him by the shoulder and knelt down…

“Boy… do you remember the man you were playing you lute for last night?”

“Yes sir… I remember him… why?… is there something wrong sir?”

“Son… he is dead…”

The word “dead” echoed within the boy’s mind over and over… this could not be true… it could not be true… he had walked the man to his room the last night and he seemed to be alive that night… how could he die?

The boy broke from the man’s grasp and raced towards Diego’s room… one of the guards ran after him… the other was stopped by the manager…

The boy felt as if his was running for all eternity… but when he reached Diego’s room he saw it… he saw Diego sitting down in one of the chairs… his dead cold eyes were fixed on the boy… and in his left hand… in his left hand was that red bottle that the boy had seen the night before…

The guard put his hand slowly on the boy’s shoulder…

“He committed suicide…”

The boy never looked away from Diego’s dead eyes… they were filled with joy… with unspeakable joy…


Thanks everyone for your comments and that’s it… but if you are disappointed… don’t be… like I said before this is only an opening story for another one… but if you did like it… than that’s even better…

Kudos… Kudos

This post has been edited by Mazelure: May 26 2006, 08:23 PM


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Joryn
post May 26 2006, 04:53 PM
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That was very dark indeed Maze, I enjoyed it. Well not all the killing and such obviously, but great work. I certainly hope that pale tatooed demon gets whats coming eventually. Excellent.


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Mazelure
post May 26 2006, 04:58 PM
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Thanks Joryn... but if you could have read my other stories you could have notice that all my stories are of a dark nature... I'm not sure why... o well... I dont think of it much... and as for the pale guy getting was coming to him... well you'll see... you'll see... and by the way I'm glad that you liked it... and I hope that more people enjoy it as well...


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DarkHunter
post May 26 2006, 08:20 PM
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ohmy.gif I have a feeling... Wait... I'm not saying anything except: KEEP WRITING!


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gamer10
post May 28 2006, 05:33 AM
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I'm commenting on the start of the story here, because I didn't get around to commenting on it earlier.

For one thing, you did a heck of a job. Its classic, and well detailed. It reminds me of so many good stories, ones that I can't name because I've forgotten their title with time.

Great job. goodjob.gif
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