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> Excerpts From The Green Book Of Poems, Don't Look I'm Working On It In Here!
Wurlon
post Nov 6 2005, 02:14 AM
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QUOTE(stargate525 @ Nov 5 2005, 12:01 PM)
about a half-hour after we get ready to playtest it, that's when.
*


But I though you guys were going to edit the stories, if you are going to edit mine it might take a while (don't you love low esteemed authors?)


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Wurlon
post Nov 6 2005, 02:18 AM
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QUOTE(stargate525 @ Sep 14 2005, 12:03 PM)
Sure. Take this one for example...
... and observe the number of syllables;

6
10
11
12
10
11
11
12

no real pattern to them, although you almost had a 10,11,12 going there and the first two were pretty well matched . Try and get the rhyming lines to match in syllables, or be even, for example an 8/8, 8/6, or in this one, 10/12, 12/10, 10/8, 12/12 or 10/10. It just helps to get rythm into the poem so that it rolls off the tounge easier.

I loved the content of it, very good, just needs more rythm.
*



How about if I just make the first line longer to 12, so each line would have 10-12 syllables ? I'll work on it, if not I'll try to make every line twelve syllables, as adding two syllable adjectives fixes it right up. In fact I could make some alliteration too... interesting WOOT ideas....

but the other two poems, probably are going to have to go... oh well just one less reason to waste time!


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stargate525
post Nov 6 2005, 05:02 AM
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QUOTE(Wurlon @ Nov 5 2005, 08:14 PM)
But I though you guys were going to edit the stories, if you are going to edit mine it might take a while (don't you love low esteemed authors?)
*


hah, you have no idea how fast I can edit something when I'm in a hurry.


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Wurlon
post Nov 6 2005, 06:36 PM
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Once again I'm sticking these here for reference, I'm going to try and write brand spanking new ones instead, but these may be necessary later..

The Archer

With arrows of iron, ebony or steel,
the archer always found the cheapest deal!
His accuracy unmatched, his enchant skills perfected,
sometimes opponents found themselves infected!
This archer wore bonemold and robes of silk,
and on his moustache you could always find traces of milk!
But for what he was known it was only death,
battling him would be your last breath.

Wolf

She stalks alongside the fast falling snows,
longing for a beast to chase.
She pauses as her silver fur perks and knows,
her dinner is challenging her to a race.
The rabbit looks onward, afraid and still,
it looks at the wolf like it can escape.
The wolf now ready to race for the kill,
and the rabbit looks onward with it's mouth agape.
Then through sudden clashes of crumpled snow,
the wolf pounces on the rabbit with claws.
She is now satisfied, her prey dead or so it seems so,
as she now walks with blood stained paws.


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vaanic~one
post Nov 8 2005, 08:36 PM
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QUOTE(Wurlon @ Nov 4 2005, 10:21 PM)
no one cares to read my poetry anyway..
*



That's not a good thing to think.

As far as I can tell, no-one has bothered to read any of my stories either, but that's nothing to go by.

No replies does not necessarily mean no reading.


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Wurlon
post Nov 9 2005, 09:46 PM
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QUOTE(vaanic~one @ Nov 8 2005, 02:36 PM)
That's not a good thing to think. 

As far as I can tell, no-one has bothered to read any of my stories either, but that's nothing to go by. 

No replies does not necessarily mean no reading.
*


It does for me mellow.gif


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minque
post Nov 9 2005, 10:10 PM
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QUOTE(stargate525 @ Nov 6 2005, 05:02 AM)
hah, you have no idea how fast I can edit something when I'm in a hurry.
*



Really? Im impressed!

QUOTE(vaanic~one @ Nov 8 2005, 08:36 PM)
That's not a good thing to think. 

As far as I can tell, no-one has bothered to read any of my stories either, but that's nothing to go by. 

No replies does not necessarily mean no reading.
*


So incredibly true!......No replies to my story on the TES-forums..but ppl are still reading it!

QUOTE(Wurlon @ Nov 9 2005, 09:46 PM)
It does for me mellow.gif
*



Actually...it does for me too! sad.gif


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stargate525
post Nov 9 2005, 11:00 PM
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QUOTE(minque @ Nov 9 2005, 04:10 PM)
Really? Im impressed!
*


of course, the chance of me missing something is inversely proportional to how fast I go...


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Ola Martin
post Mar 15 2006, 05:12 PM
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I think your poems are great biggrin.gif


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Wurlon
post Jul 20 2006, 06:59 PM
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QUOTE(Ola Martin @ Mar 15 2006, 12:12 PM) *

I think your poems are great biggrin.gif


Lol thanks.. kind of late to post though winkgrin.gif


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