Polygamy?, whats your opinion Options

[1234king]

I was watching t.v. today and every news channel that i flipped to had the piligamy issue on it. i was just wondering about your opinion on it. i think you should only marry one person.

"edit" sorry i some how f-ed up the poll again. i spaced between the lines.

"grabs chair and smashes computer"

This post has been edited by 1234king: May 12 2006, 05:16 AM

[Neela]

I think its spelled Polygamy. As it deals with a belief system, I am perfectly comfortable if some people choose to follow this path.

I for one couldn't even comprehend having to share someone. I don't believe most people are wired for such a relationship unless they are born into it and lived with it throughout their entire lives. So I am with you on the the whole monogamous relationships there.

However, I also tend to be biased against marriage for the most part. Far too many people make that commitment far far too early before they are ready simply because that is what is expected of them. This usually ends up with either a divorce or just going through life unhappy. I know this one from experience.

[Ibis]

As someone who's 29th wedding anniversary is coming up next month ... I am very in favor of monogamy. I don't believe that polegamy is natural for humans. I think that one woman/one man was what God intended. Guess I'm very traditional that way.

However, I am in agreement with Neela that way too many people are getting married too young and for the wrong reasons. That it is expected of them is one wrong reason, another is to please the mother-in-laws, another is simply loneliness. People should learn how to be alone, before they ever learn how to be married. Both take effort and patience, to get right.

[Foster]

All women are evil and if you are unlucky enough to want to suffer more than one of them, then by all means go for it. Four times the headaches, four times the mood swings, and twenty times the evil (women band together in their little covens to multiply your misery).

But... seeing as how that's not going to be considered 'serious', I personally have no problem with it. It depends on culture, and cultural acceptance. Islam for example allows up to four wives, and whilst some may argue that it is a very masculine dominated society (which it undoubtably is), if the man and the women are happy in that relationship, then why not allow it? The reasons it isn't allowed in the majority of the world is more to do with Christianity than any other particular factor, and even then you've got to remember that historically certain flexible liberties did exist (prima nocte, anyone).

Of course its always curious to see the modern countries such as the US, who were supposedly arelgious at their inception (the 'under God' bit was added later), make limitations based on one religion.

Personally I have no intention of getting married. It just seems like a scam for women to steal your money and cause you grief.

[Pisces]

I would disagree with Ibis (in a small way) & Neela and say that humans are wired up for polygamy; I see humans characterising basic animal instinct all the time. For the male it is to sleep with as many females as possible and try to stop any other males from mating, (most) guys don't because they know its wrong but it comes across more subtily. Women sleep with only the best male, best doesn't mean good looking, best means confidient and able to jump over many hurdles, you see many woman making men go out of their way for them and they always seem to go for the confident jackasses, well thats the same way men are tested in nature. Now lots of people will try to say I'm wrong because they are thinking of this blatent sense rather than subtile instinct. Think about how girls interact with men, there are "friends" who are not considered sexually and then there are love interests who the girl will seek out; men can be shifted catagories easily as a women might develop lust for a woman, but it is always on or off. Men are more blurred and are often very attracted to their friends but simply ignore it because they are friends. Thats because women are only ever attracted to their alpha male(s) while men need to be attracted to as many women as possible.

While males are wired up for polygamy I think monogamy is better option because polygamy gets far too emotionally complex. Especially in a time where men aren't going out and dieing so the male/female ratio is fairly even.

[Joryn]

Id simply say that if youre prepared to be in a relationship or married to more than one person, you obviously dont care about them all that deeply. Im not religious or anything but I believe you can meet someone perfect for you and spend the rest of your life with them quite happily. I wont go as far to say soul mate or anything, but a little like that.

Tradition has nothing to do with it if you ask me, if youre with more than one partner you obviously dont care about any of them in the same sense as say a happily married couple (while Im not for marriage myself). To put it blunty I dont think there is anything special about these people (men mostly I think?) who have multiple partners. Its probably most done just so they can satisfy themselves in their own weird way.

[HyPN0]

All women are evil and if you are unlucky enough to want to suffer more than one of them, then by all means go for it. Four times the headaches, four times the mood swings, and twenty times the evil (women band together in their little covens to multiply your misery).

But... seeing as how that's not going to be considered 'serious', I personally have no problem with it. It depends on culture, and cultural acceptance. Islam for example allows up to four wives, and whilst some may argue that it is a very masculine dominated society (which it undoubtably is), if the man and the women are happy in that relationship, then why not allow it?

And i belive that Sheikhs have even more.
Still, in Islam you are obligated to ''buy'' a woman with gold, and if you don't have enough money to pay how much she needs you can't marry her. Also, if you have more than 1 wife, you're obligated to threat them all equaly. So, not just any Joe Shmoe can marry more than one woman

Anyway in theory, I have nothing against polygamy, although I intend to have only one wife If a woman or a man is willing to accept this, why forbid them?

On the other hand, that would significantly increase the number of emigrants from poor countrys to richer countrys. For example, if I could marry 10 woman from Serbia or Croatia (all my good friends), and be just formaly in marriage with them for citizenship purposes, i would do it. And, this is also a way for a rich country citizens to make money. 15,000 Euro per marriage, and the marriage is only formal. How is this method called in English? Legalising polygamy would just improve this ''market''.

Personally I have no intention of getting married. It just seems like a scam for women to steal your money and cause you grief.

Well, that depends. What if you and your wife have an equal source of income?
Or if she isn't working, she must at least cook you a meal, and clean the house. As goes for grief, well every relationship has it's problems at some point. It all just depends on both individuals. Still, i think i will listen to my old man and marry somewhere around 30. I don't want to make the same mistake as he did with my mother. Marriage in 20 isn't a wise move.

This post has been edited by HyPN0: May 12 2006, 01:08 PM

[Foster]

It doesn't matter HOW much money they make. A womans spend/earn ratio is completely wrong, and they'll just leech off the first poor sap that falls into their cunning, diabolical little trap. That sap being the husband.

She can earn 5 million a year whilst you earn 15k, she'll STILL take all that money from you. There are NO benefits to marriage. At all. Not one single blooming benefit. It's just a scam.

[HyPN0]

It doesn't matter HOW much money they make. A womans spend/earn ratio is completely wrong, and they'll just leech off the first poor sap that falls into their cunning, diabolical little trap. That sap being the husband.

Just keep them away from fashion stores, and you'll do fine
What is the point of a well-dressed woman? They look best naked anyway.
J\K

There are NO benefits to marriage. At all. Not one single blooming benefit. It's just a scam.

Well, there are some financial benefits. For example when buying a house or apartment on monthly mortgage, a married couple has an advantage of buying a more expensive and better one, over a single man. And if one of you two loses a job, the other one will cover the expences for house, car, water, electricity, or any other payments. It's just temporarily until a new job is found. Social Help you get from country may not be able to cover all of these things, and if that happens you can relly on your wife\husband

I know of few more benefits, but i can't remember them right now.

I wonder how would Polygamy affect this?

[Olav]

Hehe lots of opinions on this matter, as would be suspected.

Personally I think people should do what they want in this matter. It's religions that have set the 'standards' for the different types of partnerships anyway, so it doesn't really mean much (religion is getting a bit outdated in this day and age, or what?). I see no reason to get married. If you like each other you stay together anyway, and then split up if you don't like each other anymore.

Being a very avid reader of popular science articles I agree with Pisces. Our human nature, instincts, speaks for itself. Males tend to seek out new mates constantly, sowing their seeds to ensure future survival of the human race, while females have a more stable and caring nature so that they can raise the children until they can survive on their own. This is very much like so many other species on our planet. We are also animals, after all.

I also read an interesting article recently. Research have showed that smells play a very large role when two people are very attracted to each other. This 'smell compatibility' means that certain cell structures/DNA of the couple will ensure that any offspring from these two will be very resistant to various diseases. Nature's own way of creating healthy children...

Today's society with all the pollution and perfumes etc. inhibits this sense of course, thus children born today have more diseases like allergies etc. So not only does the pollutants directly cause sick children, but also indirectly, since people are having problems sniffing their way to the perfect mate...

I'm getting way off topic (again)...

I admire very much people who can find a partner for life and be happy with them, like Ibis going for her 29th anniversary. Well done!

Bottom line, whatever makes you (and your partner(s)) happy is best, whether you are single or have one partner or 10 partners... I think it's wrong to feel forced to live your life like your local religion expects you to do, no matter where you live.

(Btw I didn't vote, since I think both is ok)

This post has been edited by Olav: May 12 2006, 03:36 PM

[Khajiit Overlord Rainer]

Rainer thinks it depends.

Just like many things, Polygamy gan bring you joy or stress depending on how it is used.

Rainer knows it is a part of life that we like more than one person, and sometimes the whole "pairing" thing is what causes people so much stress when you decide who to live with.

Exampe:

Male A likes Female A and would like to marry.

But then he meets Female B and he likes her too, but he has already decided to marry Female A

With Monogamy, Male A is left with Female A and cannot share time with Female B as much as he would like because he s married to Female A

With Polygamy, Male A can marry both of them and Female A and B can both share time with Male A and be on even ground becuase they are both his wife.
Also, it means more people to help provide for income for Marital support. And both Females might even become good friendsm thus strengthening Marital ties.

The same can also apply if there is one female and two males.

The problem is though, if The husband marries another wife and the Wife marries another husband, then complications start to occur.

So, if used properly Polygamy can be benifical instead of Harmful.

[Aki]

I don't mind it - If it makes you happy, and no one gets hurt, do it.

Humans are not monogamous creatures. Unlike some animals - we don't roll over and die in the department of romance once our mate dies. And hell, most times people break up because it don't work out. Way back when the only reason people stayed together was because you couldn't back out once you married. That was it.

:shrug:

[minque]

All women are evil and if you are unlucky enough to want to suffer more than one of them, then by all means go for it. Four times the headaches, four times the mood swings, and twenty times the evil (women band together in their little covens to multiply your misery).



Personally I have no intention of getting married. It just seems like a scam for women to steal your money and cause you grief.

Now what kind of opinion is this??? There must have been a poor female that hurt you terribly.....jeez! I can´t believe you just stated this opinion!!!

It doesn't matter HOW much money they make. A womans spend/earn ratio is completely wrong, and they'll just leech off the first poor sap that falls into their cunning, diabolical little trap. That sap being the husband.

She can earn 5 million a year whilst you earn 15k, she'll STILL take all that money from you. There are NO benefits to marriage. At all. Not one single blooming benefit. It's just a scam.

Poor you! I´ve been married for 20 years.....And it´s been a pretty good marriage, I won´t complain.......at least that much, even though I´m married to a cheapskate!

uhhh ....

[mplantinga]

I have been in a monagamous relationship for 3.5 years (I know, it pales in comparison to many of the others here), and I just don't feel like I could handle polygamy. That's not to say that it couldn't work for other people, but I think it takes a lot of effort to maintain the degree of emotional intimacy required for a truly close relationship. Certainly there are great benefits to sharing yourself so completely with another, but I just don't see how I could be able to have that same level of relationship with multiple people at the same time. Perhaps the real question is whether anyone could truly achieve this; or perhaps this is not the sort of relationship sought in polygamy. One of the major reasons that many societies have banned polygamy is out of concern for the financial welfare of any children born into a polygamist family, especially if any break-ups occured within the family. So, perhaps, polygamy is something that really only works if you are willing to sacrifice individual closeness and have the financial means required to support the large number of children that would most likely result. Well, I think I've rambled on long enough. I'm not sure I really said anything useful. Oh well.

[HyPN0]

Poor you! I´ve been married for 20 years.....And it´s been a pretty good marriage, I won´t complain.......at least that much, even though I´m married to a cheapskate!
uhhh ....

ROFL
What would your husband say to that?
Anyway, In your moment of fury, you forgot to state your opinion about polygamy.

[minque]

Yup...I did, my bad! (hubby does know I think he´s a miser, but he thinks it´s a good thing being the opposite of me!)

Well frankly I respect those who live in a polygamic relation out of religious reasons, but I would never do it myself.

Maybe I should look for a possible lover?...Uhhh what did I just say?

I´ll vote no.....

[Channler]

In modern day America, Poly-whatever is kinda dumb in part that the general peoples that practice it are apartt of general religious whatever that severely restricts females.

So, A) being that most open pre-poly-whatevers have come out now saying how horrible it is... (abuse, rape, neglect, etc) I can't cast my vote in favour of it.. No matter what my manhood is trying to tell me.

[HyPN0]

Maybe I should look for a possible lover?...Uhhh what did I just say?

LOL

Which brings me to another thought......

What do people think about love affairs?
Is polygamy better (your wife knows you have another wife), then having an affair (your wife doesn't know of your little ''adventure'') ?

Is it better to know that your partner has sex with another person, or not to know?

This post has been edited by HyPN0: May 12 2006, 09:29 PM

[minque]

NO! I think it´s better not to know! Hmmm if I knew hubby was with someone else I´d probably be upset but what I don´t know, doesn´t hurt me.. And vice versa!

[gamer10]

Islam for example allows up to four wives, and whilst some may argue that it is a very masculine dominated society (which it undoubtably is), if the man and the women are happy in that relationship, then why not allow it? The reasons it isn't allowed in the majority of the world is more to do with Christianity than any other particular factor, and even then you've got to remember that historically certain flexible liberties did exist (prima nocte, anyone).

Of course its always curious to see the modern countries such as the US, who were supposedly arelgious at their inception (the 'under God' bit was added later), make limitations based on one religion.

Personally I have no intention of getting married. It just seems like a scam for women to steal your money and cause you grief.

To make a statement regarding a major international religion without knowing enough about it is a way of going about things that is generally unacceptable.

First off, Islam does not promote nor Condone more than one wife in itself, this is a Western Myth. Those who do marry more than one female (or male) do so based on their cultural (non-religious) background and influence, and not their religion.

Second, pleae name a country, especially a "modern one" (a phrase which I take it you mean as referring to a country in which it is acceptable to practice immature sexual behaviors (one practiced before a person is old enough (18) to legally engage in such activities, or has made a responsible decision (marriage) and found a source of income that could support the result of intercourse (a child)), which is not male dominated.

On another note, I am against polygamy, I believe it morally wrong. You may call it natural, but that doesn't make it acceptable. Especially if a person lives in a "modern" country, where primitive behaviors such as more than one sexual partner, are rapidly gaining popularity.