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Chorrol.com _ The Elder Scrolls Online: Tamriel Unlimited _ The ESO NPC Conversations Thread
Posted by: mALX Dec 9 2016, 06:54 PM
Auridon Khajiit Guard:
"Where words fail, claws flail!"
Davons Watch Argonian Guard: (heard while sneaking)
"I erect the spine of suspicion!"
I LOVE the dialogue in this game! If you have heard any great ones, post them here!
Posted by: TheCheshireKhajiit Dec 9 2016, 08:38 PM
Auridon Khajiit Guard:
"Where words fail, claws flail!"
Davons Watch Argonian Guard: (heard while sneaking)
"I erect the spine of suspicion!"
I LOVE the dialogue in this game! If you have heard any great ones, post them here!
Just today Mira heard a guard at Bleakrock say "If you start trouble, I'll finish it!", or something like that.
Posted by: mALX Dec 9 2016, 08:59 PM
Auridon Khajiit Guard:
"Where words fail, claws flail!"
Davons Watch Argonian Guard: (heard while sneaking)
"I erect the spine of suspicion!"
I LOVE the dialogue in this game! If you have heard any great ones, post them here!
Just today Mira heard a guard at Bleakrock say "If you start trouble, I'll finish it!", or something like that.
I heard an Auridon Altmer Guard say, "Your Face could curdle milk" and one in Daggerfall said, "If you want to lose 10lbs of ugly fat, I'd be happy to chop your head off,"
The guards in this game are hilarious!
Posted by: Acadian Dec 10 2016, 12:17 AM
"If its a battle of wits you're looking for, you're halfway there."
Posted by: mALX Dec 10 2016, 12:53 AM
"If its a battle of wits you're looking for, you're halfway there."
BWAAHAA!!!!
Posted by: TheCheshireKhajiit Dec 10 2016, 04:24 AM
Ooh that's a good one!
Posted by: haute ecole rider Dec 10 2016, 05:51 AM
It isn't just the guards!
The language can get pretty colorful - one that keeps coming up in my mind is "By Stendarr's sweaty sword arm!" (spoken by Merric after the final quest).
And of course, the frequent references by the Argonians to the river when speaking of the passage of time - I love this analogy!
Posted by: mALX Dec 10 2016, 06:54 AM
Oh, haven't I heard, "By Arkay's Beard" said as a mild oath?
Posted by: Grits Dec 11 2016, 04:45 PM
Here's one that Jerric never gets tired of hearing:
"Dog's filth! You anger a powerful enemy."
Ha ha, yeah, that's right I did! 
Posted by: haute ecole rider Dec 11 2016, 07:25 PM
And that is why Jerric always picks a fight - so he can hear that!
Posted by: TheCheshireKhajiit Dec 11 2016, 07:34 PM
Here's one that Jerric never gets tired of hearing:
"Dog's filth! You anger a powerful enemy."
Ha ha, yeah, that's right I did!
That sounds like an Altmer, lol
Mira heard a good one last night but now Khajiit can't remember what it was
Posted by: mALX Dec 11 2016, 11:04 PM
Here's one that Jerric never gets tired of hearing:
"Dog's filth! You anger a powerful enemy."
Ha ha, yeah, that's right I did!
BWAAHAA! That is a good one!
Posted by: haute ecole rider Dec 11 2016, 11:43 PM
In addition to the game's colorful language (typically very lore-friendly, too), I love how the voices are done. After spending time in the Fighter's Guild quest line with Aelif and Colors, and Wrothgar with all the Orsimer, I've come to enjoy the variety of female voices I've come across, as well as their speaking cadences and what not.
The different voices are much more noticeable to me than in Skyrim or Oblivion, where (*gasp*) it sounds like the same two or three voices over and over again (I know, I know, it IS !!).
Posted by: mALX Dec 12 2016, 12:15 AM
In addition to the game's colorful language (typically very lore-friendly, too), I love how the voices are done. After spending time in the Fighter's Guild quest line with Aelif and Colors, and Wrothgar with all the Orsimer, I've come to enjoy the variety of female voices I've come across, as well as their speaking cadences and what not.
The different voices are much more noticeable to me than in Skyrim or Oblivion, where (*gasp*) it sounds like the same two or three voices over and over again (I know, I know, it IS !!).
They worked the hell out of Wonder Woman in Oblivion,
Posted by: TheCheshireKhajiit Dec 12 2016, 01:20 AM
In addition to the game's colorful language (typically very lore-friendly, too), I love how the voices are done. After spending time in the Fighter's Guild quest line with Aelif and Colors, and Wrothgar with all the Orsimer, I've come to enjoy the variety of female voices I've come across, as well as their speaking cadences and what not.
The different voices are much more noticeable to me than in Skyrim or Oblivion, where (*gasp*) it sounds like the same two or three voices over and over again (I know, I know, it IS !!).
They worked the hell out of Wonder Woman in Oblivion,
Yeah they did! Also used her for a lounge singer lady in Fallout4. Khajiit thought it was so bad. The voice didn't match the character!
Posted by: mALX Dec 12 2016, 02:26 AM
In addition to the game's colorful language (typically very lore-friendly, too), I love how the voices are done. After spending time in the Fighter's Guild quest line with Aelif and Colors, and Wrothgar with all the Orsimer, I've come to enjoy the variety of female voices I've come across, as well as their speaking cadences and what not.
The different voices are much more noticeable to me than in Skyrim or Oblivion, where (*gasp*) it sounds like the same two or three voices over and over again (I know, I know, it IS !!).
They worked the hell out of Wonder Woman in Oblivion,
Yeah they did! Also used her for a lounge singer lady in Fallout4. Khajiit thought it was so bad. The voice didn't match the character!
Posted by: Grits Dec 12 2016, 03:39 AM
The NPCs are fantastic in this game. I continue to be touched and impressed by them.
And amused. There's a female who hangs out near the Orsinium Wayshrine that I'll have to write down what she says the next time I'm there. She's giving her drunk male friend a hard time, justifiably it seems!
Posted by: mALX Dec 12 2016, 04:49 AM
The NPCs are fantastic in this game. I continue to be touched and impressed by them.
And amused. There's a female who hangs out near the Orsinium Wayshrine that I'll have to write down what she says the next time I'm there. She's giving her drunk male friend a hard time, justifiably it seems!
Have you heard the lions arguing amongst themselves in Malobal Tor's crafting station for Lamai? They are hilarious! I'm sure there is a quest there, but I've never seen a quest marker, lol.
Posted by: haute ecole rider Dec 12 2016, 04:00 PM
The NPCs are fantastic in this game. I continue to be touched and impressed by them.
And amused. There's a female who hangs out near the Orsinium Wayshrine that I'll have to write down what she says the next time I'm there. She's giving her drunk male friend a hard time, justifiably it seems!
Oh my God, yes!! I know what you are talking about! Cracks me up every time I hear that!
Let's see how quick I am with my F12 key the next time I'm there (screenshot) - my conversations are all subtitled ...
Posted by: haute ecole rider Dec 13 2016, 05:10 PM
K, got it.
Relmerea Goran, who is drinking ale near the wayshrine, every so often shouts up to the drunken Orc Durang on top of the building above her. These are the two lines I've heard her say:
"Watch your step, Durang! You know I'm not catching you if you fall, right?"
"If you throw up on me, I'm going to knock you off of there! Count on it!"
Sometimes it's not what the NPC's say, but the letters they write, that crack me up.
My characters have hirelings to collect mats while they are off adventuring. Mazul patronizes Madam Firilanya, who is the clothing hireling (Alise has her, too, I think). One letter from the Madam:
I heard a joke the other day. What do you call someone who rants about Dwarves who sew jewelry into the fringes of their robes? A Dwemer hemmer gem condemner! (I never said it was a good joke.)
Posted by: mALX Dec 13 2016, 06:32 PM
BWAAHAA! I'll have to listen to that next time I'm in Orsinium!
Those messages from the hirelings are really funny!
Posted by: haute ecole rider Dec 14 2016, 06:22 AM
I think I have taken several screenies of those letters from the hirelings just because they are HILARIOUS!!
My favorite has to be the Khajiit, Pacrooti. He writes the way Khajiiti talk, and I can almost hear his 'voice' in these missives.
Posted by: hazmick Dec 14 2016, 10:40 PM
If you hang around long enough, poor old Durang will eventually fall off the edge. His friend says something along the lines of "I'm not cleaning that up".
I love the hireling letters too! Every so often one hireling will leave and be replaced by a new one with another story to follow - really fun!
Posted by: mALX Dec 15 2016, 02:26 AM
If you hang around long enough, poor old Durang will eventually fall off the edge. His friend says something along the lines of "I'm not cleaning that up".
I love the hireling letters too! Every so often one hireling will leave and be replaced by a new one with another story to follow - really fun!
BWAAHAA! I never saw that!
Posted by: TheCheshireKhajiit Jan 3 2017, 08:47 AM
"M'aiq learned to late that ash pits are home to dark elf ancestors. He...erhm... hopes they don't mind the rain."
Posted by: monkeyemoness Jan 3 2017, 08:07 PM
I've heard this in passing before, but I thought it was funny how Eolan got it frequently from the Nord under the Windhelm bridge while the other characters didn't even get it once when they participated in the event.
Pressure sensitivity on my tablet refuses to work today idk.
"M'aiq learned to late that ash pits are home to dark elf ancestors. He...erhm... hopes they don't mind the rain."
Everything out of M'aiq's mouth is always great. Especially the thinly-veiled comments about things like subscriptions and maintenance time.
Posted by: mALX Jan 3 2017, 08:11 PM
I've heard this in passing before, but I thought it was funny how Eolan got it frequently from the Nord under the Windhelm bridge while the other characters didn't even get it once when they participated in the event.
I heard that while passing nearby the Windhelm stables,
Posted by: TheCheshireKhajiit Jan 3 2017, 10:58 PM
I've heard this in passing before, but I thought it was funny how Eolan got it frequently from the Nord under the Windhelm bridge while the other characters didn't even get it once when they participated in the event.
I heard that while passing nearby the Windhelm stables,
Is it just Khajiit, or is everyone in Windhelm drunk?
Posted by: hazmick Jan 3 2017, 11:11 PM
Is it just Khajiit, or is everyone in Windhelm drunk?
It's Konunleikar!
Posted by: mALX Jan 3 2017, 11:36 PM
I've heard this in passing before, but I thought it was funny how Eolan got it frequently from the Nord under the Windhelm bridge while the other characters didn't even get it once when they participated in the event.
I heard that while passing nearby the Windhelm stables,
Is it just Khajiit, or is everyone in Windhelm drunk?
I erect the spine of inebriation ... er, denial.
Posted by: monkeyemoness Jan 4 2017, 12:05 AM
Is it just Khajiit, or is everyone in Windhelm drunk?
It's Konunleikar!
*Corn-Noon-Licker
Posted by: Grits Jan 5 2017, 05:25 PM
That drunken Nord's line is even funnier given the bridge party setting.
Since Jerric has started over on the PC, he is getting Provisioning Hireling notes again from Gavin. That guy is hilarious. I'd spend the point just to get his letters.
Corn-noon-liquor is why Jerric takes forever each time he goes through Windhelm! 
Posted by: hazmick Jan 7 2017, 03:37 AM
"...if you avoid all of life's abrasions, you'll never be polished enough to shine. We must be pretty damned shiny by now." - Lyris Titanborn.
Posted by: mALX Jan 8 2017, 06:20 PM
"...if you avoid all of life's abrasions, you'll never be polished enough to shine. We must be pretty damned shiny by now." - Lyris Titanborn.
An Argonian line: "My scales are moist with anticipation." I think that was from Trayna.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5Nw2dGGJjg
Posted by: TheCheshireKhajiit Feb 1 2017, 03:31 AM
Not really an NPC per say but Khajiit found this little nugget from woodworking hireling Pacrooti to be hilarious:
"Today Pacrooti heard a voice say 'Khajiit! I need your help!' He turned around and saw a toad. The toad said 'I've been cursed by an evil mage. The curse will be broken if you kiss me. I will turn back into a beautiful maiden.' Pacrooti put the toad in his pocket. He can get a lot of gold for a talking frog."
Posted by: monkeyemoness Feb 1 2017, 04:46 AM
Pacrooti in general is the best hireling to get mail from.
Pacrooti was forced to punish a Breton child when his tail was pulled today. The child screamed as if burnt alive as Pacrooti tied him down and recited exerpts from "Civility and Etiquette: Khajiit."
I miss his correspondence. :/
Posted by: TheCheshireKhajiit Feb 1 2017, 04:50 AM
Pacrooti in general is the best hireling to get mail from.
Pacrooti was forced to punish a Breton child when his tail was pulled today. The child screamed as if burnt alive as Pacrooti tied him down and recited exerpts from "Civility and Etiquette: Khajiit."
I miss his correspondence. :/
Bahahaha! So many good ones from Pacrooti! Does Pacrooti go somewhere?
Posted by: hazmick Feb 1 2017, 12:44 PM
You get new hirelings every so often. Pacrooti is the Khajiit who deals with crown crates though, so you can see him any time you want.
Haa-Rei just unlocked Gavin Gavonne, the provisioner hireling. He's one of our favourites:
"I hope these provisioner components reach you in a timely manner. I got turned about in a strange swamp and lost one boot to the mud. The nearest wayshrine was a short walk, but a very long hop."
Posted by: Acadian Feb 1 2017, 01:46 PM
Most any Nord: "I need another drink like I need a head in the hole."
Posted by: TheCheshireKhajiit Feb 1 2017, 09:22 PM
Most any Nord: "I need another drink like I need a head in the hole."
Lol. "Head in the hole"
Posted by: Salazar Feb 7 2017, 02:48 AM
while crouching and trespassing in argonian homes sometimes they say " there is no moisture in what you are doing" i dont get it at all.
Posted by: TheCheshireKhajiit Feb 7 2017, 02:55 AM
while crouching and trespassing in argonian homes sometimes they say " there is no moisture in what you are doing" i dont get it at all.
In other words, "Not cool, bro!" Lol
Posted by: mALX Feb 7 2017, 04:18 AM
while crouching and trespassing in argonian homes sometimes they say " there is no moisture in what you are doing" i dont get it at all.
BWAAHAA!!!
Posted by: hazmick Feb 9 2017, 03:56 AM
"I must apologize for the delay. I am traveling with a caravan of entertainers, primarily females. I am not used to girls, or their customs. They roll their eyes a lot, and seem to reply to everything by saying 'what?' I only recently realized they do that to give you the chance to change what you said." - Gavin Gavonne
Posted by: Acadian Feb 10 2017, 02:54 PM
"The skins of those you love shall fly as my banners!"
~ Molag Bal (sometimes when you close a dark anchor)
Posted by: monkeyemoness Feb 12 2017, 07:12 AM
I just remembered the Khajiit noble on the Woodhearth docks in Greenshade. He's casually reading a book and when you talk to him he says "This one should buy a boat."
Good lord.
Posted by: TheCheshireKhajiit Nov 6 2017, 01:03 AM
What, you're choking? Too bad you big baby! NOW FINISH THAT PIE!!
Posted by: Grits Sep 26 2019, 01:58 PM
Random drunk Nord street-partying in Windhelm (cheerfully): "Who wants to see how hard I can punch?"
Posted by: RaderOfTheLostArk Sep 26 2019, 02:36 PM
Random drunk Nord street-partying in Windhelm (cheerfully): "Who wants to see how hard I can punch?"
One of the random quotes from one of the drunk Nord women that I find funny: "Here's the thing-- I-I forget the thing."
Posted by: Acadian Sep 26 2019, 09:48 PM
"Little mortal, you amuse me so!"
Posted by: mALX Sep 27 2019, 05:53 PM
It isn't just the guards!
The language can get pretty colorful - one that keeps coming up in my mind is "By Stendarr's sweaty sword arm!" (spoken by Merric after the final quest).
And of course, the frequent references by the Argonians to the river when speaking of the passage of time - I love this analogy!
Ooh, I haven't heard the "river" one!!!
Here's one that Jerric never gets tired of hearing:
"Dog's filth! You anger a powerful enemy."
Ha ha, yeah, that's right I did!
Molag Bal!!! I like that one too, lol.
In addition to the game's colorful language (typically very lore-friendly, too), I love how the voices are done. After spending time in the Fighter's Guild quest line with Aelif and Colors, and Wrothgar with all the Orsimer, I've come to enjoy the variety of female voices I've come across, as well as their speaking cadences and what not.
The different voices are much more noticeable to me than in Skyrim or Oblivion, where (*gasp*) it sounds like the same two or three voices over and over again (I know, I know, it IS !!).
Agreed!
The NPCs are fantastic in this game. I continue to be touched and impressed by them.
And amused. There's a female who hangs out near the Orsinium Wayshrine that I'll have to write down what she says the next time I'm there. She's giving her drunk male friend a hard time, justifiably it seems!
I have to stop and listen for this one, I have missed it somehow!
I've heard this in passing before, but I thought it was funny how Eolan got it frequently from the Nord under the Windhelm bridge while the other characters didn't even get it once when they participated in the event.
I heard that while passing nearby the Windhelm stables,
Is it just Khajiit, or is everyone in Windhelm drunk?
They are all Nords, what did you expect?
Not really an NPC per say but Khajiit found this little nugget from woodworking hireling Pacrooti to be hilarious:
"Today Pacrooti heard a voice say 'Khajiit! I need your help!' He turned around and saw a toad. The toad said 'I've been cursed by an evil mage. The curse will be broken if you kiss me. I will turn back into a beautiful maiden.' Pacrooti put the toad in his pocket. He can get a lot of gold for a talking frog."
You get new hirelings every so often. Pacrooti is the Khajiit who deals with crown crates though, so you can see him any time you want.
Haa-Rei just unlocked Gavin Gavonne, the provisioner hireling. He's one of our favourites:
"I hope these provisioner components reach you in a timely manner. I got turned about in a strange swamp and lost one boot to the mud. The nearest wayshrine was a short walk, but a very long hop."
- and Oh! I didn't realize they switched out! Most any Nord: "I need another drink like I need a head in the hole."
I've heard that one too!
while crouching and trespassing in argonian homes sometimes they say " there is no moisture in what you are doing" i dont get it at all.
"I must apologize for the delay. I am traveling with a caravan of entertainers, primarily females. I am not used to girls, or their customs. They roll their eyes a lot, and seem to reply to everything by saying 'what?' I only recently realized they do that to give you the chance to change what you said." - Gavin Gavonne
ROFL !!!
"The skins of those you love shall fly as my banners!"
~ Molag Bal (sometimes when you close a dark anchor)
Ooh, I've never heard that one!!!
I just remembered the Khajiit noble on the Woodhearth docks in Greenshade. He's casually reading a book and when you talk to him he says "This one should buy a boat."
Good lord.
What, you're choking? Too bad you big baby! NOW FINISH THAT PIE!!
Was it a pie eating contest? Lol.
Random drunk Nord street-partying in Windhelm (cheerfully): "Who wants to see how hard I can punch?"
OMG, I haven't heard that one yet!!! That is hilarious!!! And you know...I can actually picture Jerric saying that too!
One of the random quotes from one of the drunk Nord women that I find funny: "Here's the thing-- I-I forget the thing."
There really are a lot of drunks in this game, right? Lol. "Little mortal, you amuse me so!"
Molag Bal, right? Lol.
Posted by: Acadian Sep 27 2019, 06:50 PM
"Little mortal, you amuse me so!"
Molag Bal, right? Lol.
Quite a few Dremora women call you 'Little Mortal' and it seems very fitting for Buffy, after being erroneously called hero, champion and other things that conflict with her size and appearance such as 'You look like someone who can fight', etc. Lol.
The actual quote above is from Lyranth during the Coldharbour quest where you jump down into a pit and help Skordo and some other Fighters Guildies escape. https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Truth,_Lies,_and_Prisoners
Oh, Azura and some of the other Daedric Princes do also refer to you as 'Little Mortal' I think.
Posted by: mALX Sep 27 2019, 07:32 PM
"Little mortal, you amuse me so!"
Molag Bal, right? Lol.
Quite a few Dremora women call you 'Little Mortal' and it seems very fitting for Buffy, after being erroneously called hero, champion and other things that conflict with her size and appearance such as 'You look like someone who can fight', etc. Lol.
The actual quote above is from Lyranth during the Coldharbour quest where you jump down into a pit and help Skordo and some other Fighters Guildies escape. https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Truth,_Lies,_and_Prisoners
Oh, Azura and some of the other Daedric Princes do also refer to you as 'Little Mortal' I think.
Oh, that is interesting! I actually didn't remember that Fighters Guild quest at all, it has been a while since I did it, lol.
Posted by: Grits Sep 27 2019, 07:58 PM
Random drunk Nord street-partying in Windhelm (cheerfully): "Who wants to see how hard I can punch?"
OMG, I haven't heard that one yet!!! That is hilarious!!! And you know...I can actually picture Jerric saying that too!
I laughed out loud when I heard it! He fits right in at that festival.
Acadian, Jerric has been called "little mortal" a few times lately as he's questing again in Coldharbour. He always smiles and thinks of Buffy.
Jerric is frequently baffled by the ruling class.
High King Emeric: “I must confess - I had hoped to meet you one day. We sharpen our blades on the same whetstone, if you take my meaning.”
Jerric:
Grits: (He’s not hitting on you.)
Jerric:
Grits: (He’s not bedding someone you know.)
Jerric:
Grits: (You don’t have to take his meaning. Just say something Breton.)
Jerric: “It’s an honor, Your Majesty.”
Posted by: mALX Sep 27 2019, 08:59 PM
Random drunk Nord street-partying in Windhelm (cheerfully): "Who wants to see how hard I can punch?"
OMG, I haven't heard that one yet!!! That is hilarious!!! And you know...I can actually picture Jerric saying that too!
I laughed out loud when I heard it! He fits right in at that festival.
Acadian, Jerric has been called "little mortal" a few times lately as he's questing again in Coldharbour. He always smiles and thinks of Buffy.
Jerric is frequently baffled by the ruling class.
High King Emeric: “I must confess - I had hoped to meet you one day. We sharpen our blades on the same whetstone, if you take my meaning.”
Jerric:
Grits: (He’s not hitting on you.)
Jerric:
Grits: (He’s not bedding someone you know.)
Jerric:
Grits: (You don’t have to take his meaning. Just say something Breton.)
Jerric: “It’s an honor, Your Majesty.”
BWAAHAA!!! SPEW !!! You owe me a monitor!!!
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