My story! Yay! Options

[Archeopterix]

About a year and a half ago one of the guys in the chatroom was putting together a fansite, and he wanted us to submit our characters and write about what crime they commited that would get them sent on an Imperial prison ship and exiledto Vvardenfell. I hadn't actually thought about it before, but since I'd played my character through the game and expansions it was easy to put myself in her head and I just started writing. The thing was, i actually didn't know what I was going to write next, the story unfolded as I wrote it. So I didn't know her crime until the actual part where she got arrested. It turned out to be quite a fun assignment and I really liked the results.

So here it is:

Sparrow Fleetwind

She was strongly advised not to go. “They aren’t like us, the customs are very different, “ the elders advised. Nothing good can come of this. But she heard of the strange lands to the North East where buildings were constructed of actual rock (not strung among or carved in the trees). These were buildings a big as mountains and humans wore armour made of glittering metal that shone like the surface of a rippling stream. The humans stayed on the ground mostly (not climbing through the trees) and there were hordes of them all in a small area called a “city”. These images danced in her imagination like the sparrows (for which she was named) flitted among the trees. She used to listen wide-eyed to the stories around the fire, of the brave explorer who left Valenwood and travelled the entire continent of Tamriel only to find out that the Imperial Battlemage had been kidnapped.

“Stay away Sparrow. You don’t know of their ways.” But she had always been bold and a little bit strong-minded. There was room for those like her in the Clans Of The Trees, of course. Those Who Explore would find new paths, new sources of food, new water systems and new trails that game would cut through the dense temperate forest of interior Valenwood. There, where property was community property, as all is temporary- all things were made from organic material: bone, hide, wood, reeds, and so on. Everyone has their purpose- those who love making things tended to stay in the huts in the trees and Create- those who loved to hunt and gather and Explore were the ones who would bring the materials to the village. Often it was the young who wanted to know the forest’s secrets and the elderly or injured who would stay behind and create, as the Elders curiosity has been satiated and they would see beauty in the details of the home and of comfort and hearth. So it all worked out. In this clan, there was no such thing as theft, as everyone owned all things. So she had no concept of ownership or property of the individual.

She was an explorer. She knew which fruits were toxic when unripe and edible when ripe, and at what season. She knew the Languages of the animals, and could communicate with the great cats and find the location of the prey, and hunt by their side, and share the kill after without worrying about being harmed herself. She could tell by the subtle change of light and humidity if a storm was coming, even under the Great Canopy of the trees. She could communicate with the birds, by eye contact and body language and sound, and they would tell her where the fruits were or a fresh kill or the location of flowers blooming and wet with sweet nectar. She could become nearly invisible, with stealth and with magic, so she could be nearly on a tapier before it would see her and with a touch, she would render it unconscious and end it painlessly for use of meat, bone, and hide. Of course nothing went to waste. Then (as custom dictated) she needed to release it’s soul back to the earth so that it could live on in the Next Life- for there is finite life energy in the world and to waste or disrespect a soul is a Great Evil. She often found herself on paths to the East, toward the lands of the Sand and the Cat People, the Khajiit. Something pulled her there too.

One night, when the winds were screaming through the limbs of the trees and the rains were pelting through the leaves, while everyone slept soundly in the thatch huts high up in the branches, she had a dream. It wasn’t an image or a story dream, more of a feeling. She knew it was Time To Go… to see for herself. The pull was so strong she woke with a jolt and grabbed a pack and started to walk. Even though she could normally see well in the dark, the torrential rain and winds stung her eyes and drenched through her normally waterproof serpent hide armour. The trails became less and less familiar, and as the canopy became thinner and she could start to see the pink of dawn in front of her. She was nearing the border of Elsewyr.

She became accustomed to the dry heat from the relentless orange sun and the sting of the sand in the wind. She had met up with a small nomadic Khajiit raiding party. There she learned their language, and the concept of individual property and ownership. Together, they travelled northward, and she used her stealthy hunting skills to sneak into buildings and caves and pick the locks of the chests and together they would share the treasures they found: gold, amulets and jewellery, clothes, potions, weapons and armour. As they drew north, the climate softened to fields and great shade trees- and the land transformed into great squares divided by hedges with grazing animals that had no fear of the humans moving near them and crops sorted into neat rows. She saw the square buildings constructed of stone and large hoofed animals that were attached by leather straps to wooden platforms on wheels that groaned and creaked as the rolled along the dirt and stone paths.

They would travel by night and camp in the day. They would forage their food from the vast crops that filled the countryside, and she quickly learned the techniques to pick the locks of the humans. But the Khajiit could not subsist on the vegetable crops for long, the needed the flesh of animals to survive. So they made plans to go to the next square of land where some small woolly grazing animals were contained by wooden planks and take one for a meal and hide. Herd animals in a field posed a different problem than a single prey in the forest; any one of many eyes and ears could spot her, and there was no cover to hide in. She must move with utmost caution. Sparrow moved silently and invisibly towards the dozing herd. Suddenly, a large black and white wolf came racing towards her out of nowhere barking noisily and waking the herd. The herd animals woke with a start and bolted, bleeting noisily. The windows in several stone houses glowed orange with torches being lit and humans came racing from all directions. Stunned by the sudden activity, all Sparrow could do was stand there, stunned.

“Filthy woof elf, it tried to go after me prized sheep!” But of course Sparrow could not understand the language of the Imperial people. “Lock it up! It’s no good having it running around, who knows what it’ll get into next!” Weeks turned to months in the Imperial prisons and with no natural light and the damp and no fresh air, Sparrow began to waste away. “That wood elf, it’s not right,” said the one of the guards, scratching his stubbled chin. “She’s going to die down there, she is. She didn’ know any better, them’s right WILD thems elves is. She was probably lost and needed just a meal. Please have mercy on that poor creature, Captain.” The Captain looked up, annoyed that he had been disturbed from his paperwork. He did not want to be bothered with such menial matters as a wood elf convicted of a petty crime. But if it helped improve the morale of his guards, it would keep things moving more smoothly in the future, and improve his standing in the eyes of his men. “Very well,” he said. “We cannot release that wood elf back, as she will probably keep raiding the local farmers. We can let her go, but she will have to be exiled to the province of Morrowind.”

“Thank you, me Captain” The guard saluted and walked down the passageway to go and collect the prisoner.

[Archeopterix]

The only constructive critisism that I got on it was that someone mentioned that wood elves in Elder Scrolls lore don't use plant material. But I don't think that was true for all of them, just some of the clans.

[Alexander]

a great start archie

have you written more here? I'd really enjoy reading the rest!

[minque]

well Archie! That´s a really good one! WoW!!!! IMO everything is possible, how nice to read another story about a female charachter...and this one written by a female.....

Well now I sence the courage to start posting my story....


Thank you for the contribution :goodjob:

[stargelman]

Poor Sparrow =(

That's a really good story, Archie. I realize now I never thought about the actual background of my characters. The only thing I ever thought of was what they were like, not why.

Anyway, I really love your writing style. Even though the story was comparably short, I really got to feel for it's hero. You should write more

[Sinder Velvin]

Very nice, Archie! :goodjob:

You didn't exactly contradict the lore, but instead added to it. I did find three inconsistencies with the lore, though. You mentioned one of them already.

The first one of the other two is here:

There she learned their language, and the concept of individual property and ownership.

Thing is, Khajiit don't have much of a concept of individual property and ownership either. I'd give you proof from more than just one source, but I think this bit of lore from an interview with Jobasha, the Khajiit bookseller in Vivec, will suffice (in truth, the interview was with three different developers):

\"Dar\" in a Khajiti name means \"thief,\" but this should not alarm you. \"Dar\" is like the Nordic \"Clever Hudvar\" or the Breton \"Arnand the Fox.\" A Khajiit with \"Dar\" in his name is clever, and maybe clever with his hands, but not always a thief by your odd Imperial property customs.

Now, for the second inconsistency:

“Very well,” he said. “We cannot release that wood elf back, as she will probably keep raiding the local farmers. We can let her go, but she will have to be exiled to the province of Morrowind.”

In reality, Uriel Septim ordered the release of the Nerevarine from prison.

Still, the story is great and I'm sorry for being a nitpicker.

[minque]

Ok that settles it...I´ll have to check the lore very thorough before posting one sentence..or my teachers at the scholars guild will pick at me...... :paperbag2:

[Sinder Velvin]

Ok that settles it...I´ll have to check the lore very thorough before posting one sentence..or my teachers at the scholars guild will pick at me...... :paperbag2:

I won't pick at you.

I'll just tell you what little mistakes you made.

[Archeopterix]

Very nice, Archie! :goodjob:

You didn't exactly contradict the lore, but instead added to it. I did find three inconsistencies with the lore, though. You mentioned one of them already.

The first one of the other two is here:

There she learned their language, and the concept of individual property and ownership.

Thing is, Khajiit don't have much of a concept of individual property and ownership either. I'd give you proof from more than just one source, but I think this bit of lore from an interview with Jobasha, the Khajiit bookseller in Vivec, will suffice (in truth, the interview was with three different developers):

\"Dar\" in a Khajiti name means \"thief,\" but this should not alarm you. \"Dar\" is like the Nordic \"Clever Hudvar\" or the Breton \"Arnand the Fox.\" A Khajiit with \"Dar\" in his name is clever, and maybe clever with his hands, but not always a thief by your odd Imperial property customs.

Now, for the second inconsistency:

“Very well,” he said. “We cannot release that wood elf back, as she will probably keep raiding the local farmers. We can let her go, but she will have to be exiled to the province of Morrowind.”

In reality, Uriel Septim ordered the release of the Nerevarine from prison.

Still, the story is great and I'm sorry for being a nitpicker.

Hehe thanks everyone


The Khajiit knew of property from experience, because as they were going on raids, if anyone noticed that they took anything they would get mad at them. These Khajiit had obviously been to Cyrodil before and were a bit of a notorious group. It was more of a "don't let anyone see you taking it because person x is attached to that item there, if they notice you with it they will attack you" more than "this is his amulet" or whetever.


The Captain did the initial paperwork to get it going, as Sparrow was way down the ranks of being unimportant. The release to Morrowind would have had to be approved by the emporer because it is such an expensive trip. If it weren't for the fact that they were shipping Jiub back anyway, they probably would have left her to die. Moving her wasmore of a political stradegy than for any care or concern for her well being.

Sparrow never had a face to face meeting with the emporer, or if she did it was so beyond her comprehension of how the Imperials work, she didn't remember it, and all she would have been to them is an emiciated pile of rags on the floor, 1/2 dead. Poor Sparrow.


Thanks for the feedback!

[Sinder Velvin]

The Captain did the initial paperwork to get it going, as Sparrow was way down the ranks of being unimportant. The release to Morrowind would have had to be approved by the emporer because it is such an expensive trip. If it weren't for the fact that they were shipping Jiub back anyway, they probably would have left her to die. Moving her wasmore of a political stradegy than for any care or concern for her well being.

From the decoded orders to Caius Cosades:

Spymaster Caius Cosades
Knight-Errant of the Imperial Order of Blades
Director of Imperial Intelligence in Vvardenfell District, Eastern Provinces

I have the honor to acquaint you with his Majesty's wishes concerning <Name>, an individual of no rank or consequence.

<Name> has been released from prison by his Majesty's authority and sent to you with this missive. <Name> is to be entered as a Novice in the Imperial Order of the Blades, and is to serve under your absolute authority as you shall see fit, except insofar as his Majesty's particular wishes are concerned.

His Majesty's particular wishes are as follows.

A local superstition holds that an orphan and outcast, a youth born on a certain day to uncertain parents, shall unite all the tribes of the Dunmer, drive out the invaders of Morrowind, and shall reestablish the ancient laws and customs of the Dark Elven nations. This orphan and outcast is called in legend the \"Nerevarine,\" and is supposed to be a reincarnation of the long-dead Dunmer General and First Councilor, Lord Indoril Nerevar.

<Name> has the appearance of meeting the conditions of this local superstition. Therefore it is his Majesty's desire that <Name> shall, insofar as is possible, satisfy the conditions of this ancient prophecy, and shall become the Nerevarine.

Though this prophecy is indeed only an ancient local superstition, his Majesty has taken counsel on this matter with his most expert informants and confidants, and his Majesty is persuaded that the prophecy is genuine and significant, either in its entirety, or in its several parts, and he earnestly demands you treat this matter with the utmost seriousness.

Certain aspects of this ancient superstition are described at the end of this document, and further materials will be forthcoming by courier at the earliest occasion. It will, of course, be necessary that you acquaint yourself better with the details of this ancient superstition from your local sources. Since this matter intimately concerns <Name>, it is expected that you will employ him to gather information on this subject. His Majesty has taken a great personal interest in the legends and prophecies of the Nerevarine, and eagerly awaits reports your reports.

I have the honor to be, Sir, your most Humble and Obedient Servant,

Glabrio Bellienus
Personal Secretary to the Emperor

Uriel knew that the prisoner was the Nerevarine. And he knew how important the Nerevarine was.

Still a good story, though.

[Archeopterix]

The way I played it they DIDN'T know (they were killing two birds with one stone, and she happened dto come along at the right time) and again it was a politcal move. None of the imperials actually thought she would survive the trip, let alone Vvardenfell. It was an odd coincidence that the character turned out to be it, and it was just because fate or Sheogorath or whoever twisted it that way. Made the plot more interesting. So when she actually did fit the bill everyone was surprised.

[minque]

yay Archie! I enjoy this discussion very much.... :rofl:

[treydog]

That is quite good. Do you have any plans to carry it further? As if you don't already have a rather full schedule....

[Oozae]

The only constructive critisism that I got on it was that someone mentioned that wood elves in Elder Scrolls lore don't use plant material. But I don't think that was true for all of them, just some of the clans.

The Bosmer do use plant material only not from Valenwood, from other provinces. They are carnivores and mostly eat meat, except perhaps if someone from across the borders brang some fruit or vegetables.

[Archeopterix]

That is quite good.  Do you have any plans to carry it further?  As if you don't already have a rather full schedule....

Alexander also asked this, fact is it took 4 hours to write and I moaned and whined and complained the whole time in the chatroom. I did think about doing a little about the khajiit, but I don't know much aboutthem and it would get torn up hehehe :hehe: <-- I want the hehe smiley!

[minque]

That is quite good.  Do you have any plans to carry it further?  As if you don't already have a rather full schedule....

Alexander also asked this, fact is it took 4 hours to write and I moaned and whined and complained the whole time in the chatroom. I did think about doing a little about the khajiit, but I don't know much aboutthem and it would get torn up hehehe :hehe: <-- I want the hehe smiley!

C´mon archie....you can do it....a woman with your talent....even I write a story.....it takes time but I hope to be able to post it.......in some time, yeah I`m a bit afraid of posting, so many good stories around here..hmmm :confused:

[Sinder Velvin]

That is quite good.  Do you have any plans to carry it further?  As if you don't already have a rather full schedule....

Alexander also asked this, fact is it took 4 hours to write and I moaned and whined and complained the whole time in the chatroom. I did think about doing a little about the khajiit, but I don't know much aboutthem and it would get torn up hehehe :hehe: <-- I want the hehe smiley!

I bet you want that smiley, but stargelman is very busy right now and he can't upload anything.

[treydog]

Don't get too worried about the lore- if people say "A Khajiit wouldn't do or say that," there is a simple answer-

"This isn't just any Khajiit- this is MY Khajiit, and she can do or say whatever works for her."

That is what makes for great stories- a character that is an individual. If you feel inclined to write, take your time, post when you are ready, and PM or email any of us to ask for guidance.

[minque]

Well I have to second our story-master in this issue.....we all support you Archie and we are very happy to see you here sharing your works with us!

[Warsgoth]

Keep it up! Go with it! Never stop!