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Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 18 2012, 07:32 AM

Hey y'all! The "Today in Skyrim" thing made mee remember how MUCH I love writing, and how much better it is to not just write shutff and hide it. So the first post is going to be the old "chapters" combined along with the new one I just wrote. Feedback welcome, but remember, no one has seen anything I've written in over 8 years, lol

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 18 2012, 07:38 AM

Chapter One: Potema's Offer, My refusal

I can't believe this. I can't believe this. I got dragged into another campaign against the undead.

I HATE undead.

Falk called me again to deal with Potema. I hate Necromancers. I hate undead. You're dead. Stop acting like you're alive!
I sneak in the chapel's undercroft and dispatch any draugr and vaampires I see. Blech. Draugr disgust me the most. Their dried up bodies with their sinewy muscles showing, skin rotted off but not so rotten they are skeletons.
I keep my Ebony bow on hand. If I can kill them from a distance, I won't smell them. If i can smell them, they're too close.

Potema has called me to her side. When she spoke, my vision grew fuzzy. I wasn't expecting her to use her magicka to contact me. I'll have to steel myself for any future contact.

Draugr rose from the walls, from the water, and vampires snapped and struck at me. I kept checking my pack for cure disease potions, but I can't find any. I'm probably panicking too much to see them. It's okay, Kayla. Just get Potema's skull and bring it to Syrr. That wonderful, wonderful man who would consecrate Potema's skull and I would never have to deal with her again.

The temple's undercroft eventually turned into a cave. I will never understand why Skyrim has so many caves. How has it not collapsed from under them? A blinding light shone from above in the next room after I killed a vampire. I absentmindedly wondered why no one noticed a giant hole in Solitude as I shot the resting draugr against the wall. I heard a choked growl. Oh Sithis! One was hidden behind the pillar! I unsheathed Dawnbreaker and quickly stabbed his dried up body until it no longer moved. As a precaution I loaded the strongest fireball spell I had to burnt the corpse of the...corpse.

I continued. I saw a large lever in the center of the room. I stared at it. What...why?? Where's the gods-damned door? I pull it and duck. The wall next to me makes a grinding, scraping sound that makes my teeth hurt. I now hate ancient Nords.

I try to duck through the opening when the bars rise. I barely slip through before being crushed in half. (at this point my notes simply say "turns in" and I have no idea why I wrote that.) I see an alchemy station, and around it are old potions and dried ingredients. I taste one potion; it's a very strong healing potion. I put that in my pack and open the other one and stop myself from tasting it. Judging from the smell and viscosity and...the smell, it's Frostbite Spider venom. Wonderful. I put that in my pack as well.

The equipment seems to be functioning alright, so I check my ingredients. The only useful thing I could make is a slow poison, and a damage magicka poison. I mixed these two together. I don't know what form Potema will be in, and in case she has posessed one of her undead servants, I'll need this.

I walk through the door and hear...too much activity. That grinding, scraping sound can be heard. I slink to the next room, down the stairs and see the rotating doors. No one else sems to be around. So I stand up straight and pull a lever. One door stops...aw, Sithis. I pull it again and it continues in the other direction. I think I've figured this out. Eventually all three doors have an opening for me and I slip though quietly. But not quietly enough.

In the next room I see a draugr...no, a draugr DEATHLORD on a throne, his head bowed. A vampire casually walks out from behind the pillar and addresses me. Once he mentioned joining Potema, I lost it. I ran at him so fast he yelled in surprise. When Dawnbreaker's blade sunk into his cold flesh, an explosion resonated from the blade, reducing the vampire to ash. Tears stung my eyes. I will never, ever be ANYONE'S slave.

I heard the sound of old bones and joints rubbing against each other, papery muscles gaining strength and an old throat finding its voice.

The deathlord.

I had rushed the vampire without forming a plan of attack. I pretend I can't hear him, so when he raises up his sword for the death blow, I see it in the fire light. Right before he strikes I roll out of the way. The greatsword hits the stone ground and I can see the vibration in the sword. He doesn't care. He opens his mouth.

"FUS, RO DAH!"

I hit the stone wall, Dawnbreaker knocked out of my grasp. "Oh yeah?" I choke out. "Two can play at this game."

I take in a deep breath as the Deathlord rushes me and put all of my strength in the shout.

"IIZ!" Arms raised in another final strike, one that would have surely killed me or wounded me beyond saving, the draugr's mangled face was frozen under the ice in a look of rage. I grabbed Dawnbreaker and searched frantically through my pack for a healing potion. I had about ten seconds. I find the one from the room, and see some of my potions were broken. Sithis. I downed this one and coughed at the bitter taste of the ancient potion. Potions are NOT like wine.

I stand up and gripped Dawnbreaker. I coud see the ice melting. This gods-damned leathery piece of Mammoth dung was NOT going to kill me before I killed Potema for good.

I hopped over the almost-thawed body of the draugr Deathlord, casting a fire rune on the ground. I turned around and steeled my nerves for the imminent explosion, Dawnbreaker in one hand and a firebolt spell in the other. As I expected, the Deathlord stepped on the rune and a fiery explosion engulfed him in flames. he never stopped. He gripped his sword and took a deep breath and-

Got a firebolt straight into his mouth. I don't have time for this. As he recoiled from the force(apparently they don't feel pain) I severed his head from his body. I can't do this. I can't deal with this. I want to go home to Onmund. I want to feel his stubble against my cheek as he whispers "Hello, my love."

Tears spilled from my eyes as I cried in rage. I threw a fireball spell at the Deathlord's corpse and coughed as it burned. I dropped to one knee. This isn't fair. This...drive to help people, when it could kill me. The knowledge that if it isn't me, it would be no one. There would be no one to protect Onmund, or keep the world safe for our future children.

I stood up and wiped the snot and tears onto the back of my hand and pressed on. I don't have time for this. I have to kill Potema.

Eventually I came to a room full of draugr. The stench was overwhelming. I gagged and heaved, and failed in stepping gingerly over them and ended up tripping over one with its hands rested in the funeral position. I grasp the gate bars and ehar Potema speak again. I shut my eyes. NO.

The draugr rise. I panic, casting a fire rune spell on the ground in the middle of the room, incinerating the first one that stepped on it. My panic subsides when I see that not all of the draugr have risen, only five, including the one I killed. I gripped Dawnbreaker and hoped for the effect I needed to get out of this situation.

I dug my sword into the first one and it crumpled. Nope, no explosion. Sithis. The other three rallied in a line in front of me and I was cornered. "IIZ!" I got two of them with my Ice Form shout, the other with only his arm frozen. sadly, not his sword arm. I had little room to use my sword, so I had to use my magicka. Firebolt after firebolt, he finally caught fire. Kept at bay by the sheer force of my magicka, yet ignoring the fire that would have made the strongest Orc scream from the searing pain, he finally caught fire and burned. His body caught the other body on fire and the gate opened. I ran. The other draugr did not follow.

I'm guessing because in the next room, there was Potema. She issued a challenge, and from the crypts on the walls in the large room came her minions. Dawnbreaker tasted undead flesh over and over, and when each draugr's dried up heart was pierced by it, a holy(unholy?) explosion reduced the draugr to ashes and caused any nearby to flee. I defeated the last draugr at the top of the steps by the large wooden door opposite to the one I entered in, and dodged Potema's spirit as it blasted the door open and posessed her skull. I rushed the foul spirit, plunging Dawnbreaker to the hilt in Potema's chest with a roar. And that was it. I collected the skull and left the undercroft back the way I came.

The priests and priestesses gasped and nodded to me as I passed. I went to the Hall of the Dead, earning myself a few stares out in the daylight. I handed Potema's skull to Syrr and said simply "Here." He went on about how great a service I had done, but I hardly listened. I walked to the Blue Palace, in my dirty armor, and told him the deed was done. He sung me praises and I took my compensation and left. I took the next carriage to Whiterun.

The whole trip I felt woozy. Any sleep I did get was plauged with nightmares, and my head hurt so much that sunlight made it worse, and no food would make the terrible cramps in my stomach ease. Onmund greeted me with excitement, then fear. He rushed me into bed where I slept for a day.

When I awoke, I felt better. Onmund gave me a small smile but I could tell her was still worried. "When you want to talk about it," he murmured, "you can tell me."

"It was Potema," I whispered. "And she had so many draugr, and so many vampires."

His eyes widened. "Vampires?! Did you take a potion?"

I felt the color drain from my face. Onmund's face surely matched mine. "Take my hand. We are going to the Temple of Kynereth."

I grasped his hand and feebly stood up. He led me to the door. when he opened it, the light felt like it literally hit me. I drew in my breath sharply.

"Why is it so bright? I can hardly stand it!"

At that point, I vomited on the floor.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 18 2012, 07:42 AM

Chapter 2: I don't Know What to Name This Chapter yet, But I Ate Pizza Today



The day I met him, at the college of Winterhold. I had barely made it in time for the introduction speech, and breathless, I walked inside. Onmund regarded me queitly for a moment, then returned his attention to Tolfdir. Tolfdir tried to emphasise that this was a safe environment to practice magic, and his speech fell on deaf ears. I kept quiet, not used to being around other magic users.

Then Tolfdir zeroed in on me. "What do you think?" he asked. "You've been fairly quiet."

"I, uh, I mean, I t-think..." The group of students stared at me. I could feel my tan cheeks get hot. J'zargo kept his wide cat-grin while Brelyna and Onmund glanced at each other.

"I mean, that is, uh, practical! Something we can use?"

The group voiced their agreement and Tolfdir all but rolled his eyes. "Alright." I was as eager as the rest of the students. Growing up in Skyrim, I hadn't had a great time when people learned of my ability with magicka, especially Conjuration and Destruction, so naturally the Ward spell was great.

Afterwards I went to my "room," if you could call it that. Rooms usually had doors. What if someone saw me changing? Especially...Onmund? Or a teacher? I resolved to change in the wardrobe. I hoped I could fit.

I set my pack on the bed and sat down next to it and sighed. I heard someone clear their throat and looked up and saw Onmund.

"Hi, uh, just wanted to introduce myself," he started. "I'm Onmund. And you are...?"

"Kayla." I stood up and we clasped wrists.

"Kayla? What an odd name for an-"

"An Atmer? I know. It's not my real name."

"Oh?" Onmund raised an eyebrow. I prepared for the inevitable question of how I got my name, which would lead to where I was from, where I grew up, a conversation I have had and have prepared many scripted responses for.

"Well that's interesting. What schools do you favor?"

Wow. That was unexpected. "Uhm, Destruction and Conjuration...you?"

"Destruction and, between you and me?" He leaned in a bit and whispered "I know the Invisibility spell."

"No way! I've been trying for ages to learn that spell!"

He laughed, and the edges of my vision started to take on a red tinge. I shook my head, clearing my vision. At that point I began to feel itchy, but Onmund didn't notice and continued to talk.

"Did you see that Ancano character? He actually told me I was 'dismissed.' Who talks like that?"

I started coughing violently, feeling moisture in my hand. When i drew my hand away, there was blood in my palm. "Oh gods," I moaned, shaking. "Onmund, quick, get a healer!"

Onmund simply laughed, but it sounded too wheezy to be made by a healthy person. he doubled over, and when he stood straight up again, his eyes were red, face gaunt, and skin paler than it had been before.

"My dear," he hissed, revealing fangs, "There aren't enough healers in Skyrim to heal what you have."

He pounced on me and sank his teeth into my neck.

I awoke to my own screaming and Onmund yelling in surprise at the chair next to my bed. I shot backwards into the headboard of the bed against the wall, kicking at Onmund and screaming like a madwoman. Danica Pure-Spring bolted from the other room and attempted to calm me down. When she put her hands on my shoulders I felt calmer. I burst into tears and clung to Danica.

"Vampire," I wailed into Danica's tunic, "I dreamt he was a vampire!"

"Who, my child?" cooed Danica, her strong, familiar accent soothing my ears. She stroked my(most likely) unkempt and unwashed hair as I sobbed.

"On-Onmund!" I gasped for breath. "He had red eyes, and teeth, and lunged at me! I can't...handle..." I continued to sob into Dania's shoulder, wetting it with my tears and snot. I coughed and pulled away, wiping my nose with the front of my sleeping gown that she and Onmund had most likely dressed me in. I caught Onmund's hurt expression behind Danica, and studied his face as I sniffed and regained my composure. No fangs, and the same green eyes that could demand the truth from me, but were rimmed with red from no sleep and worry.

"See?" Danica purred. "He's fine. Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

"Yes, I'm really thirsty." I shot a panicked look at Danica. "Am-"

"No, you're not. You're needing fluids. You've been out for days. All we could do was pour some water down your throat and hope it went down right." She grinned, and I saw the mischief in her eyes. The priestess handed me a tankard from the end table to my right.

"Drink up, and try to rest. Now that we know you are alright, I can go back to my temple duties. Onmund, I need to speak to for for a moment."

I settled back in the bed, and made a small show of losing my eyes and getting comfortable, but when the door was closed, I stepped lightly onto the floor, tiptoeing to the door.

I heard Onmund's voice. "How close were we?"

Danica replied "Very. I understand she makes her fortune roaming, but she needs to be more areful. She is more than capable of taking care of herself. I heard about The Dark Brotherhood, and know she is more organized. Where were her curing potions?"

"Things aren't so cut-and-dry when you're outside of these walls, Danica. You can only prepare so much."

"I suppose. Now, what about..." she hesitated. "The vampire thing?"

Onmund sighed. "It's difficult. She was raised as a Nord, has no idea what happened to her Altmer parents. Her adopted siblings and cousins would lock her out of the house at night while their parents were sleeping. She banged on the door once but they told her it was her own fault for not being as strong as them. She slept in the stables, until she learned how to pick locks.

Before that happened, she would hide herself in the hay in case any beasts came sniffing around. One night, one of the young women in the town brought her lover, a traveler, to the hayloft where they began to bed each other. When they reached climax, the woman tore the man apart with her bare hands and ate his flesh, drank his blood, only a few feet away from Kayla.

She left the bones where they lay and the townsfolk blamed it on bears. She told her adopted mother what had happened, and, being Nords, their first reaction was fear and anger. They tried to burn the woman out of her house, but she fled."

I stopped listening to the lie I had told Onmund. The truth was much, much worse than what I had said. I downed the water and fell into bed noisily and fell asleep.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Dec 18 2012, 01:41 PM

This story is turning out quite interesting so far. You described Kayla's nightmare quite well. It's nice to see your finally writing a fanfic

Posted by: McBadgere Dec 18 2012, 02:06 PM

Excellent stuff!!...

Wonderful writing, really shows the terror that she felt at it all...

Looking forward to seeing more...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Dec 18 2012, 02:19 PM

Ooh, we're getting a full story of this now! Awesome!

I'll admit I skipped the first chapter, what with having already read, but I loved the second one; the nightmare scene was one hell of a shock and had a lovely sense of terror to it, and I like the sheer suddeness of it when you've got the reader think this is just Kayla recalling her first meeting with Onmund. Very well done indeed.

Posted by: mALX Dec 18 2012, 03:44 PM

WOO HOO !!! Elisabeth !!! I'm so glad you are posting this in the forum!!!! And Welcome !!!!!

Very powerful beginning! I loved the Potema quest, that dungeon, and LOVED what you did with it in this chapter! This feels like a Kayla is a friend telling me about her day, I absolutely love that! I have no nits to mention at all, this was absolutely perfect !!!!

Chapter 2: You have a gift/ability to write totally natural dialogue - really immersive! The nightmare scene was very well done! I LOVE your writing, your pacing within your story is perfect, just enough detail to create visuals without dragging it down - you are ROCK'ing this story!!! Awesome Write !!!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 18 2012, 04:55 PM

Thanks, y'all! I'm not sure about updates, or how often they'll be(full time job and a two year old and all) but I do find time to write a paragraph each night. Last night I was by myself and just typed it all out.

Again, I appreciate the kind words. If you have any criticism, go ahead. especially if the chapters degrade in quality. For me this is fun, but I still like giving it my very best :]

Posted by: King Coin Dec 18 2012, 07:00 PM

Read the first chapter, and it was entertaining. The end was great. I wondered if she was going to have trouble with the vampires disease, the comments during the carriage ride were a good touch. I'll come back later for chapter two. Also: good title!

Posted by: Acadian Dec 18 2012, 10:53 PM

A warm welcome to the fanfic Arena here at chorrol! Your story has a delightfully quick pace and plenty of action. I really like that Kayla’s mind wanders everywhere from Onmund’s whiskers to why Skyrim doesn’t collapse from all the caves under it.

You did a wonderful job of introducing Kayla to us and gently slipping in numerous aspects of her background. See seems quite the fighter!

Great job in your second chapter with the opening dream! At first it seemed like a beautiful flashback of how Kayla met Onmund but it quickly turned into a nightmare. Then we learn even more of Kayla’s heritage and troubled background – but you leave plenty of mystery still to be revealed.

This story is off to a fabulous start!

Since you asked for constructive criticism, let me offer some very minor typos and such that a touch more final editing can easily reduce -

>From chapter 1:
'If i can smell them, they're too close.'
You want I vs i.

'As a precaution I loaded the strongest fireball spell I had to burnt the corpse of the...corpse.'
I suggest burn vs burnt.

'I grasp the gate bars and ehar Potema speak again.'
Hear, not ehar of course.

'I got two of them with my Ice Form shout, the other with only his arm frozen. sadly, not his sword arm.'
The period after frozen doesn’t work when followed by an uncapitalized sadly. I’d either capitalize sadly to indicate a new sentence or better yet (because the last clause is not really a complete sentence), simply use a hyphen instead of period.

'Any sleep I did get was plauged with nightmares,'
Plagued vs plauged.

'Onmund gave me a small smile but I could tell her was still worried.'
I think Onmund’s a he vs her?

"Take my hand. We are going to the Temple of Kynereth."
Kynareth vs Kynereth.

>And from chapter 2:
'I understand she makes her fortune roaming, but she needs to be more areful.'
Careful vs areful.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 19 2012, 06:24 AM

You got everything I had seen, hahaha! I often re-read my chapters to refresh myself and caught those same mistakes. Usually when I am editing I am alone and catch everything, but once in a while I'll catch myself using incorrect grammar and past-tense when it should be present, and so on and so forth. I have no idea why I do that. I think my brain gets ahead of my fingers.

Anyways, thanks!

Posted by: Acadian Dec 19 2012, 02:09 PM

You're most welcome. You know that you can edit things after you post, right? Button's in the lower right corner of your post.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 19 2012, 06:52 PM

Yep, sure do :]

Posted by: King Coin Dec 19 2012, 07:17 PM

Chapter 2
I loved her nervousness about being around other magic users. J’zargo seems to be always grinning about something. Your spin on Tolfdir was nice too; he’s very much the kindly old man in the game.

What is with the lack of doors? One of these days I’m making a mod that adds doors to all the inns and the Winterhold College.

Didn’t see that coming! Loved how naturally you turned that into a nightmare. I thought it was a flashback.

I wonder what really happened in the hayloft?

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 19 2012, 10:12 PM

Only Kayla knows.

Posted by: mALX Dec 20 2012, 01:46 AM

GAAAAH! What she told Onmund was bad enough, URK! I get the worst feeling that Kayla is in a dangerous place !!!!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 21 2012, 09:05 AM

Busy busy me! I combined two chapters for this one. Not the best in the world, but it will keep my fingers warmed up for when I can make things exciting again.

CHAPTER THREE: Getting Back into the Swing of Things

Recovery took about four days. The disease had all but ravaged my body to the point of dehydration. Had I not gotten home when I did, Danica said I wouldn't have made it. I would have came back a vampire, if I came back at all.

Onmund was careful with me, even after I insisted I wasn't afraid of him. Sitting next to each other by the cooking fire, my head on his shoulder, he told me that seeing me afraid of him was the most hurt he had ever been.

"I don't ever want to see that look in anyone's eyes again," he murmured. "Especially yours." He kissed my now clean head and rest his head on the top of mine. I said nothing. I had seen that look on many peoples' faces. Victims of crimes and criminals I came to punish. I had seen it on a few vampire faces. That moment before I separated their head from their body and they knew that they really weren't immortal, and they could be killed.

"A septim for your thoughts?"

I smile tugged at one corner of my mouth. "Just thinking about some things." I changed the subject. "Remember when we first met?"

"Was this before or after I drank your blood?"

I laughed. "Definitely before. When Tolfdir asked me what I wanted to learn."

"I do." He lifted his head from mine and we turned towards each other. The firelight danced in the reflection in his eyes as they looked into mine.

"I said 'Let's learn something practical."

"No, you said, "I, uhm, erm, uhhh, we, I mean, ehh-" I smacked at his arm and he laughed hard.

"It wasn't THAT bad!"

"It was pretty bad, dear. We stood there for about twenty minutes. J'zargo and I took bets on what your answer would be. Speaking of, I owe him ten septims..."

I smacked his arm again and he chuckled. "Well," I said, letting out a sigh, "I'll admit peer pressure got to me and I said what I knew everyone wanted me to say. I wanted to tell him 'I would really like to not be blown up, please.'"

"You should have said that."

"Please, had I said that, would you have came up and introduced yourself?"

"Probably not, not until I caught you changing in your space." He waggled his eyebrows. I covered my mouth to stifled a laugh, but snorted instead. He jumped up and mimed out the scene. He walked a few steps, then stopped like something caught his eye, studied it for a second, then a huge grin broke out on his face.
"Yep, time to go introduce myself to the hot naked elven babe!"

I was howling with laughter, and Onmund doubled over in laughter at his own joke. I fell out of my chair, which made both Onmund and I laugh even harder until we were both lying on the cold floor of our house.
Wheezing, I managed to choke out "I love you!" He nodded during his fit of laughter and tried to choke out an "I love you too," but laughed harder at the garbled sounds he was making, which made ME laughed harder. We laid there, laughing until we forgot what we were laughing about.

Later that night, with me lying on Onmund's chest after making careful love(I was still a little weak, but almost myself) I thought about how much I missed this. The house, the smell of Onmund's cooking, the town. Living in society. I wanted this for the rest of my life.

I turned on my side and Onmund got comfortable. He was already asleep, but I had so many thoughts racing through my head. I needed to find a lead on my next task, and avoid anything with caves or barrows for a while. Take only a carriage ot the major holds, then strike out after sunrise to my destination. Keep time, never go out at night. Keep enough potions to last me at least a week and ration them. Buy them whenever in a town or city. Maybe have someone come with me?

I mulled over this last thought. It would have to be someone I trust, someone whose back I could watch, and have them do the same.

Onmund snored lightly. Not him. Definitely not. He's safe in Whiterun, much safer than in Markarth with the Forsworn, or in Windhelm with The Butcher, or Riften with the Thieves Guild. With the current political crisis, Solitude is out of the question. Dawnstar is too isolated from my travels, and doesn't have a temple for healing. Winterhold looks like it's about to fall the rest of the way into the sea. But with the pressure Elisef and Ulfric are putting on Balgruuf to join their side, well...Maybe nowhere was safe. Especially not with the dragons. If I built a house and a dragon showed up while I wasn't around...

I bit my lower lip and my heart sank at the realization. There is an extreme possibility that Onmund could die, even with my very best efforts at keeping him safe. Ulfric could take the city by surprise and Onmund would fight to protect his home, could fall...a dragon...disease...oh gods...

I buried my face in the bear pelt we used as covers and wept.

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Well this was a TERRIBLE idea!" I scolded myself as I dodged the hagraven's firebolts. It (her?) snarled and I could see the drool dripping down its chin. I hid behind a rock near the camp that the hags had made. Why anyone would want to worship a disgusting creature like this was a mystery to me.

I clutched Dawkbreaker to my chest as another firebolt whizzed by the rock. "Here, kitty kitty kitty!" The nasty hagraven called to me.

"What??" I called over my shoulder. "I'm not a Khajiit!"

There was half a moment of silence before the hagraven snarled and screeched "I don't even care!" and hurled another molten fireball at my head as I peeked to too if she was still there. I steeled my nerves and threw up a ward with every firebolt she threw.

An enraged howl escaped from her lips as I worked my way closer, dodging fireballs as my magicka recharged and deflecting the rest with her wards. She gave up and tried another tactic; she lunged, claws first, at my face.

I ducked beneath her grasp, twisted around and kicked her gnarled and twisted body to the ground. She rolled over and before she could fry me with another firebolt, I planted Dawnbreaker firmly where her(it??) heart should be. One gurgled gasp later and the hagraven was dead.

I wiped the blood splatter from my face with the shoulder of my cuirass and looted the body. I grabbed Nettlebane and made the trek to Riverwood for the night.

I made it a bit before dusk, while the sun's fingers still raked the sky. Tomorrow I would bring Nettlebane to Danica. I owed her a favor for saving my life.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Uhm...ew."

I blinked at Danica. "What?" I asked.

"I'm glad you made it back and everything, but I really don't want to touch that."

I glanced at the gnarly-looking blade in my hand, and held it out to her again. She sniffed and stepped back.
"Why not?" I asked, a grin forming on my face.

"Kayla, please, I find it repulsive."

"Oh yeah? CATCH!" I pretended to toss her the blade and she yelped and sprinted to the side of the temple.
"STOP DOING THAT! I'm serious!"

I laughed, and the sickly farmers opened their eyes to look at what was going on. Danica smoothed out her robe as I put the small blade back in my pack.

"Just for that, YOU get to go get the sap, and I won't have to hire a Companion to do it for me. You need the exercise anyways."

I grinned. "That's alright, I'll just head to the Sanctuary bright and early tomorrow morning." Danica nodded in approval. "Be sure to pack plenty of provisions," she lectured. "I don't want to have to back in here except to give me the sap." I nodded and turned to walk out the door. A man stopped me before I got to the door.
"I couldn't help but overhearing..." I raised an eyebrow at this but said nothing. "But you're going to the Eldergleam sanctuary tomorrow?"

"Yes,," I answered, getting an uneasy feeling. "You want a souvenir?"

He laughed nervously. "No, nothing like that," he scratched the side of his neck absentmindedly. "I was wondering if I could come along?"

I considered this for a second. "Please," he begged. "It's been my dream to go there. I may never get this chance again!"

I looked at him for a moment before answering. "Alright, but pack your OWN provisions, and if you have a horse, have him saddled and ready at the stables by the time the sun is up."

"And if I don't?"

"Then...you get left behind...?"

"No, what if I don't have a horse?"

"Oh! Just meet me by the stables then."

This was going to be fun?

Posted by: King Of Beasts Dec 21 2012, 11:45 AM

" Well this was a terrible idea!"

I've lost count of how many times I've said that myself

"I clutched Dawkbreaker to my chest as another firebolt whizzed by the rock. "Here, kitty kitty kitty!" The nasty hagraven called to me.

"What??" I called over my shoulder. "I'm not a Khajiit!"

There was half a moment of silence before the hagraven snarled and screeched "I don't even care!" and hurled another molten fireball at my head as I peeked to too if she was still there. I steeled my nerves and threw up a ward with every firebolt she threw."

ROFL I couldn't stop laughing at this part! It definitely made my day. (or should I say early morning)

Posted by: Acadian Dec 21 2012, 09:36 PM

A fun scene with Onmund, and balanced by the entertaining fight with that hagraven. I wonder who the stranger is that wants to go to the sanctuary - and if he’s related to Kayla’s wish for a possible companion to adventure with.

Posted by: King Coin Dec 22 2012, 06:09 PM

This chapter was fun! Getting to know the two of them better with some goofing around and then through her worries. Definitely don’t trust anyone that knows the invisibility spell!

"Here, kitty kitty kitty!" The nasty hagraven called to me.
"What??" I called over my shoulder. "I'm not a Khajiit!"


Bringing Nettlebane to Danica was funny too. Love the goofy attitude Kayla has.

Posted by: McBadgere Dec 22 2012, 07:10 PM

Ooooh, excellent stuff!!!...

I do love the Gildergleam/Eldergleam quest...I think that Sanctuary (that in a strange coincidence, my Khajiit character only discovered this morning) is one of the most beautiful locations in the game...But, that's by the by as you haven't gotten there in the tale yet...Ooopsie... ...

Aaaaamywho...

*Cough*...

Brilliant writing, loved that bit with Onmund and Kayla's worrying if she should leave him behind or take him as a follower...Loved it...

Another excellent chapter...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 23 2012, 06:31 AM

D'awwww, y'all are making me blush!!!! I really appreciate the comments :] I'vegot another chapter set up and doing the editing now, and the chapter after THAT is being written as well. The only key that is sticking now is the J key, I have to remember to push extra hard on that one, so that takes time away when I go to edit and see "'zargo was ust umping for oy when he heard to ail had some ewels and felt it was ustified in acking the ail from its loot" lmfao

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 24 2012, 08:21 AM

I'm going nuts writing this. The last time I wrote this much was 8 years ago. This is an awesome outlet for me, lol.

Anyways, I posted one chapter on fanfiction dot net, and got screamed at for not putting a space after the ellipses...still not doing it! XD

Enjoy!


CHAPTER FOUR: Different Type of Predator

"You're back in one piece? That's good...what is that?" Danica glanced peevishly at the sapling. "You brought me a stick instead of sap?!"


"No, Danica, look, listen. That traveler? Maurice Jondrell. He follows the voice of Kynareth, and he made the sapling grow by praying to Kynareth."


"But we need the sap!"


"Maurice said, and I quote," I intoned my impression of Maurice in a dry voice "'You fool, you madwoman, do not strike the tree, Kynareth will avenge it, I have another way.' Then he prayed to Kynareth and after a moment this sapling," I held it up to her, "Sprung from the ground. It was amazing!"


Danica took the sapling, and held it gently. "Who am I to argue with a god?" she murmured, and said "Alright, this will work. It will replace the tree outside. I'll have the jarl's men remove the tree outside and I will plant this one. You have my thanks, Kayla." And with that I suppose I was dismissed.


I went back to the house and greeted Onmund. He gave me the usual kiss and "Hello dear" but something seemed off.


"Onmund, what's wrong?"


Onmund sighed. "Honestly? I just feel...like a trophy husband."


I stared at him incredulously for a moment before laughing. He looked startled, then hurt. "I am not a bad looking man," he said defensively. I waved my arms and shook my head and said "No! Love! That's not what I'm-" I cleared my throat and regained my composure. "I just...okay, explain."


"Well," he began reluctantly, "You go off, earning more money then my measly store ever could, I hear all of these wonderful adventures you have, and what do I do? I am a househusband."


"And what's wrong with that?"


"I am getting fat."


"It's a cold place, you need to be burly!"


"No. you don't understand. I am a Nord man, with Nord man needs."


I rolled my eyes. "I suppose I DON'T understand. What is the difference between a Nord man's needs and a Breton man's needs?"


"I crave adventure, excitement! Exploring somewhere I've never been." He sat me down on a chair and knelt in front of me. "Remember when you got my family's amulet back? How I was too afraid to approach Enthir after he told me no once? I don't want to be like that anymore. I want to take what is mine back!"


I have to admit, he surprised me. I had never seen this side of Onmund before, and it was...odd. I fell for him because he wasn't the typical Nord male. He didn't mind that I was a "weak elf," nor that I loved magic. He didn't mind, or I thought he didn't mind, staying safe while I made the world better for him.


"Onmund..." Could I tell him this? SHOULD I tell him this? He looked at me expectantly. Oh gods. "Well, if this is how you really feel, then would you like to accompany me to Morthal my next journey out?"


His eyes widened in excitement. "Yes!" he exclaimed, hugging me tight.


"Alright, we need to make sure- gurk, stop squeezing me!" He let go, his grin never leaving his face. "We'll need four different types of potions, not unlike when you came to Riften with me, then here to Whiterun. Health potion, stamina potion, magicka potion-"


"And mead!"


"...and cure disease..."


"Oh."


I rolled my eyes.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


Onmund hopped off the carriage and stretched his legs. I had insisted on no stops unless it was to relieve ourselves, and the carriage driver got an extra 50 septims for obliging.


"You're not the most paranoid passenger I've had on here, trust me," he quipped. We had reached Morthal a little after dusk, and had a guard direct us to the inn. I tried to not usher Onmund inside too fast, to not have him think I was more paranoid than I actually was. He wanted to explore the town a bit, but I feigned exhaustion and suggested a pint of mead before bed. He obliged, and we walked, side by side, into the Moorside Inn.


"This place is dead," Onmund remarked. It really was. There was an orc bard(torturer?!) singing a shameful rendition of "Ragnar the Red," the bartender, and a lone woman to our right.


"Not nearly as dead as it could be," the woman said, her voice sultry and silky. She stood up and looked Onmund up and down, then licked her lips. "What's your name, handsome?" Onmund blushed. The woman was wearing tavern clothing, revealing her ample bosoms and wide hips. Her lips were a shade of red rarely found naturally, skin the typical Nord pale, and eyes wide and innocent. I saw right through her.


"My HUSBAND'S name is Onmund, and I'm Kayla." I took a step forward. Onmund put his hand on my arm in assurance that he was alright. I backed off.


"I'm going to go check with the bartender to see if there are any bounties out." I turned on my heel smoothly, my jealousy making me seethe. I gripped the edge of the bar with my hands and said through clenched teeth, "Who. Is. That?"


The bartender glanced up past me and raised her eyebrows. "You're one brave woman, leaving your man over there with the likes of Alva. She's got all the men in this town wrapped around her finger, just about."
I blinked, and replied "I can see why, dressed like that." The bartender laughed, and said "Name's Joanna." We clasped wrists. "I'm Kayla," I replied, feeling a tad better. "I came here looking to help anyone who needs it. Especially if it includes slaying the town wench." We both laughed hard at that, and Joanna said "Well, it just so happens that the jarl needs someone to investigate the death of Hroggar's wife and child."


"Oh? What happened?"


"House fire, it looks like. Hroggar blamed it on his wife spilling bear fat onto the hearth, but we all know he was shacking up with Alva. Could be motive."


I turned my head and watched Alva and Onmund over my shoulder. Alva laughed at whatever joke he threw out and rubbed his forearm lightly. Her smile never left her face, not even when she was pouting at some unknown request he had declined. Onmund looked like he was enjoying himself thoroughly. I didn't know whether to order a room and slink in there alone or shove a fireball in her mouth. That would take away at least one service she offered to the men.


"Can I have a room? I'll go to the jarl in the morning and see if my help is needed." Joanna nodded and I handed the septims over. I ordered two mugs of mead and headed over to the table. I sat down and handed one of the mugs to Onmund, but Alva slid that one over to herself and said in a mock disapproving voice, "Now where is your poor husband's mead, elf? Did you forget about him already?"


Onmund looks at me expectantly. Incredulous, I said "Well, you rudely took his, but if you're going to throw a tantrum, here." I slid my tankard of mead over to Onmund, sloshing half the contents onto the table.


"Relax, elf, it was just a joke!"


"Yeah, Kayla, she was only kidding, what's up with you?"


I stood up. "I'm tired, and have work to do in the morning. Onmund, I got us a room right over there. Can we go to bed now?"


Alva pouted and leaned closer to Onmund. "But I've only just met him! You're going to take away from me so soon?" Onmund said "No dear, she isn't." He looked up at me, and said "I'll be there in an hour or so. You kept me locked up in the house for so long, I need some socialization besides the little brats that run around wild at home." And with that he turned his back on me. I looked to Joanna for help, but she kept her eyes on her sweeping. I went to the room and began to cry.


He called her dear.


I'M his dear.


Why did he use his pet name he uses for me?


Maybe every attractive woman is dear? No, he never called Brelyna dear, nor Lydia, who is even a Nord.
Is Onmund so unhappy with his life, with me, that he has to guilt me into taking him on an adventure so he can sleaze it up with some two-septim wench away from home? This doesn't make any sense. I asked Hulda if Onmund ever cheated on me in front of her while at the Bannered Mare, and she said no, not even when Uthgerd the Unbroken decided to take her armor off when Mikael did his "Dance of Seduction" on the drums. I was told Onmund walked home alone and Mikael claimed Uthgerd that evening. Or maybe she claimed him? I shouldn't be commenting on the sex lives of people I don't know.


This reminded me of the time I got curious and snuck into Haelga's room at the Bunkhouse in Riften. I sorely regret that mistake.


I decided to take my armor off and go to bed. If Onmund wanted to make friends, who was I to stand in the way? He is a faithful man. I trust him.


I dreamed of about fifty ways to make Alva suffer for making me look like a jealous cow until morning came, and I opened my eyes. I turned over to greet Onmund, but his side of the bed was cold, untouched. Rage, then fear came, and I dressed hurriedly. When I walked to the bar, sans armor, Joanna handed me a note.


"Kayla,

Alva and I talked all night, she is a wonderful and interesting woman. I have gone to explore the town and see the sights.

Onmund"


"That's...that's it?" I asked Joanna.


"I'm sorry, lass, but that's all. If it's any consolation, Alva went home just before sunrise and invited him over, but he declined. He said he needs to to get out of the house, not spend the day inside another one." She shook her head. "They did get pretty close last night, though. The usual flirting with Alva..." She trailed off when she saw my hurt expression. "Morthal ain't no place for a househusband. There are different predators inside the town limits then outside them. Alva will eat your man alive in a worse way than any bear or sabrecat could. At least then, they're dead. When a woman woos your man out from under you, the victim is you, and not him."


I crumpled the note. "I'm not a victim. I'm going to go find my husband."

Posted by: McBadgere Dec 24 2012, 01:34 PM

*Applauds*...I know what you mean, it was about 20 for me... ...



*Punches air with fist...Taking out a low flying pigeon...* YES!!... ...Nice one!!...I think I fell a little in love just then... ...

*Cough*...

AAaaamywho...

Oooh, I remember this quest...Nasty stuff...

Hopefully Onmund will turn out to be the classy husband...

Brilliant writing, glad you're enjoying the return to it...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...


Honey! We've gotten extra for christmas dinner...Behold! A pigeon!...Yes you need to get plucking...I'm busy...Yes I am...

Posted by: King Of Beasts Dec 24 2012, 02:57 PM

Alva already Onmund under her spell I suppose? Damn vampires always trying to suck you dry of your blood or turn you into a thrall 

Wonderful chapter, can't wait for the next one

There's no reason for screaming at you for not adding spaces where you don't want them. The nerve of some people *angrily walks away muttering*

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 24 2012, 04:26 PM

I know!! I was like "I wasn't aware that the space after the ellipses was imperative to the flow of the story. Your critique as been noted and cataloged, I appreciate the insight. I will be sure to remember that extremely important space in the future!"

Pfffft.



Whoa, calm down!...

You gonna eat that? XD


This quest rings true with me because I've had a man "stolen" from me before. Like the character, I refused to be the victim...except Kayla(the elf) is a bit more proactive when it comes to this. I gave mine an ultimatum and said "It's either me, someone you KNOW you're happy with, or her, just a pretty face." Oddly enough, she was a lot like Alva...she liked having several guys under her thumb. Wow. No wonder this part of the story speaks to me so much.



Let's just say I will be modeling his reaction from personal experience.

I went back and looked at Alva via Elder scrolls wiki and thought, wow, she isn't even that attractive... then I looked at Movarth (pre-Dawnguard installation, but I have Dawnguard installed now) and was like wow, no wonder these people are vampires, lmfao.

Ugh. I'm hawngry. I'm gonna go eat. Happy Holidays to everyone, and I REALLY appreciate you taking time out of y'all's day to read and review my work :]

Posted by: Acadian Dec 24 2012, 06:19 PM

Oh, those pesky ellipses.... Let me check. . . here we are. I use spaces between them but it is a style choice that is purely up to you. The only advice I’ll offer is to be consistent in how you use them (as you are) and, unless your name is McBadgere, not to overuse them.

"And mead!"
"...and cure disease..."
"Oh."
I rolled my eyes.’
You can take the man out of the Nord, but you can’t take the Nord out of the man!

Loved the scene in the Moorside Inn. Kayla is worried about harm befalling her trophy husband and now she has to worry about the town wench as well!

‘I dreamed of about fifty ways to make Alva suffer for making me look like a jealous cow until morning came, and I opened my eyes.’
This is perfectly written and conveys exactly how I imagine Kayla was feeling.

Oh dear, the morning doesn’t bring reassuring news. Taking Onmund along with her isn’t working out exactly the way Kayla hoped. That quest she had in mind probably needs to move to the back burner till she sorts Onmund out.

This story, and your intimate, character-focused style, is a joy to read.

I see you have two line spaces between all your paragraphs instead of one empty line. Since you did so consistently in this episode, it is not a problem but I wonder if it was intentional? For what it’s worth, I would recommend just a single blank line between your paragraphs. Your editing was very tight here with almost no nits; Just a couple tiny things to take a peek at -

‘Onmund looks at me expectantly. Incredulous, I said "Well, you. . .’
Mixing tenses. I’d use ‘looked’ vs ‘looks’ here.

‘Alva pouted and leaned closer to Onmund. "But I've only just met him! You're going to take {him} away from me so soon?" Onmund said "No dear, she isn't." He looked up at me, and said "I'll be there in an hour or so. You kept me locked up in the house for so long, I need some socialization besides the little brats that run around wild at home." And with that he turned his back on me. I looked to Joanna for help, but she kept her eyes on her sweeping. I went to the room and began to cry.’
Two things. First, I think you need a ‘him’ where I inserted one as an object for the verb ‘take’. Secondly, because there are two speakers, I would break to a new paragraph when you change from Alva to Onmund as the speaker.

Posted by: McBadgere Dec 24 2012, 07:26 PM

.

...I have no idea what you mean... ...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 24 2012, 08:16 PM

Crap, I thought I was so careful this time XD I really have no idea why I mix tenses. I usually catch myself, and have been editing as I go along, then reading the chapter over, pasting it in the reply box on here to see if I misspelled anything, and thought I caught it all.

Kayla was hoping that Onmund was just needing time away from the house, and figured Morthal was as safe as it could get, being it wasn't a "tourist attraction" and the population was sparse. She kind of cheated him in a way, and the situation is forcing her to change her perspective on how she treats him.



When I paste the story here with single spacing, it bunches together and I have to re-space it. Double spacing saves me time, and it doesn't look bad to me. I'll see on the next chapter what I can do to make it just a single space with no hassle :]

Again, I appreciate everyone's reviews!!

Posted by: Grits Dec 27 2012, 04:34 PM

No space after the elipses?! You…madwoman!

I’m delighted that Kayla has her own story! I enjoy her voice very much. I loved her thoughts about keeping Onmund safe while she made the world better for him. Then I loved it even more when she invited him on the Morthal expedition!

Yikes, Alva. I'm already looking forward to the next part!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 27 2012, 07:17 PM

D'AWWWWWWWWW -blushes-

Y'all are going to give me a giant head lol

Posted by: jack cloudy Dec 27 2012, 09:40 PM

I've got nothing to add that hasn't been said already really. Fun characters and I really like how you surprised the readers by turning a flashback into a nightmare, while still letting it keep its value as a flashback.



Hmm, I haven't run into that quest yet (or marriage for that matter), but given how I doubt any woman can be that* seductive no matter how low-cut her dress is, I'm guessing magic is involved in some way.




*There was Riverwood, but given how the tradehouse lady is the only unmarried woman in town who isn't pushing eighty, I'd say it was more of a case of lack of options there.

Posted by: King Coin Dec 28 2012, 02:26 AM

The Gildergreen quest goes a lot better with that guy then. My character has never brought that man along, and it always goes poorly, collecting the sap.

Oh my… trouble with the husband. Poor man wants to go on an adventure. Morthal though… Yeeesh. Not the best place for it.

…singing a shameful rendition of "Ragnar the Red,"…
Is there any other rendition? Hate that song!

Slaying the town wench… Yeah, she’ll probably get to do that. I’ve always liked Joanna, glad Kayla is getting along with her.

Whoa… Onmund is going to be in trouble. And that’s the last time he’s being let out of the house!

I crumpled the note. "I'm not a victim. I'm going to go find my husband."
This is war! I do hope Onmund is ok though...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 28 2012, 03:10 AM

I'm partial to "The Dragonborn Comes" but yeah, I figured they weren't really concerned with the tavern music lyrics. The only time I actually enjoy the music is when they use the drums. I may, at some point, write a better song used in the taverns lmfao. Or bring another song from a different book in there(LotR throwback, anyone??)


-snort- I tried to marry Mjoll the Lioness. I love "Crusaders for good" characters. Personal weakness

There may be an update tonight, depends on whether or not I can finish the chapter I started earlier today. I've been mentally and emotionally drained. I like having two chapters done before posting another one.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Dec 28 2012, 03:14 AM

I'm partial to "The Dragonborn Comes"

I like tale of tongues best.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 28 2012, 03:17 AM

Tale of wha? I don't spend a lot of time at inns so maybe I miss that one.

Posted by: King Coin Dec 28 2012, 03:30 AM

I like some of the tavern songs, just not Ragnar the Red. Anything but Ragnar!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 28 2012, 05:24 AM

Ah, erm...I checked the word count on chapter 5, and uhm...it's 4,500+ words. Lemme re-work this one...

Looks like I have about FOUR chapters, five inlcuding the one I'm working on. Dang, lol. That gives me a little bit of leeway I suppose.

(PSSSSST Grits, I'm reading your fanfic!!!!)

ALSO, before ANYONE points this out, "Joanna" was spelled like that at first because that is what her name is in the game. However, for every character I go to the wiki and check them and and her name is spelled "Jonna." I'm leaving it like that, for now. Don't let it take away from the story.
- - - - - - - - - - -

I searched Morthal until I found Onmund. It was a fairly short search, considering I had passed him up once in my anger near the jarl's home. He was squatted near the water, studying a nirnroot. I squatted next to him, and he looked up.

"Oh. Hello."

"Is that any way to greet your wife?"

Onmund sniffed. "I suppose not."

He stood up, and I did too. I looked him in the eye. "Why didn't you come to bed last night?" He looked away for a moment, then back to me. "I was talking to Alva."

"Right. 'Talking' to Alva."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Onmund, you need to open your eyes, and look away from her perky breasts." He flushed angrily. "Joanna said-"

"Oh,what did Joanna say? That Alva is a tramp? That she uses her wiles to get what she wants from other men? That she convinced Hroggar to burn his family alive?" I balked at his tenacity, and he continued. "Well guess what, Kayla? You will often hear that from jealous females." He looked pointedly at me. "If you listen to everything the town gossip has to say, you'd be chasing everyone down with a claymore."

"Onmund, you need to-"

"No, Kayla, I'm tired of being your pet! I'm more than that, more than this!" He gestured to himself. "I am a student of the arcane arts, not just your housepet!"

Angry tears filled my eyes as he fumed, and a few townspeaple stopped to gawk. He continued. "Alva treated me like a person last night, like you never did!" He sighed and took a deep breath. "It made me realize that there is more than what you have to offer me."

I was stunned. "What are you saying, Onmund?"

"I'm saying I'm getting my own room at the inn. Don't go in there." he walked to the inn doors, leaving me stunned. "I'm going to go to sleep now, don't disturb me." And walked inside.

I had half a mind to leave him there. He was unhappy? Fine, let him be happy here with the pond sludge. I walked around town angrily, searching for an outlet. Something, anything to get my mind off the anger. Everyone stayed out of my way when they saw me. I spotted Hroggar on the edge of town and zeroed in on him.

"YOU!" He jumped, and gave me a terrified look. "GET OVER HERE NOW!" He backed away, slowly at first, then went into a full sprint further from the town. I chased him down easily, not being in my armor. I tackled him and pinned his arms behind his back, causing him to scream. I sat on his back and clamped his mouth shut with my left arm.

"Listen up, and listen closely," I whispered in his ear. "If you don't tell me everything you know about Alva, I will shove a fireball into your eye sockets. Got it?"

Hroggar nodded. "That also goes for screaming. If you scream, I will paralyze you and leave you out here for the trolls." He nodded furiously and I uncovered his mouth.

"Crazy elf!" he spat, eyeing me angrily.

"You're in no position to throw insults. However, I am in a great position to beat some answers out of you."

"I'd rather die than betray Alva."

"Really? You would?" I leaned in close to his face, and said "Right now, your precious Alva is bedding the entire town."

"No, she isn't! Let me up!" He began to struggle, and I pressed harder on his twisted arms, causing him to begin to screech. I covered his mouth again.

"Remember what I said?!" He mumbled something through my hand, and I uncovered his mouth.

"I can't help it if you're breaking my bloody arm! And I can hardly breathe!" I eased up on the pressure, and leaned back a little, allowing him to breath easier.

"Fair enough. Now, how do you know she isn't sleeping with anyone? Are you with her all of the time? Because if so, you're doing a terrible job at the moment."

Hroggar laughed. "I am with her when it matters. As we speak, she is slumbering. I protect her during the day, and at night, when she awakens, she allows me to sleep."

"...okay. Why?"

"Why what?"

"What would compel her to have protection during the safest part of the day, but not the most dangerous?"
Hroggar clammed up at this. Not even when I dug my knees into his back would he talk. My rage was spent at this point and I felt near tears from frustration more than anything. I was not good at torture. Threatening I could do. I could tell you six ways I would break your neck, but to actually do it? I didn't have the heart. I stood up and stormed off in the direction of the jarl's home.

I flung the door open and the jarl's bodyguard drew his sword. "Jarl Idgrod," I began, staying at the doorway in case the bodyguard decided I was too risky to not fight, "I would like to investigate the death of Hroggar's wife and child. I have reasons to suspect that Alva is involved, and would like a chance to prove her guilt or innocence."

The Jarl quickly regained her composure and replied, "I know you came here with your husband and have seen him cavorting with Alva. Is this accusation coming from facts or jealousy?"

Unable to answer quickly, the jarl nodded and said "That's what I thought. It is no secret that Alva has many men here under her thumb. But so far, no real evidence has come forth against her linking her to any criminal activity." The jarl looked me in the eye. "Come closer, elf."

I obliged and took a few steps closer, now aware of how imposing the jarl's bodyguard was. I couldn't believe how embarrassingly rash I was to have my first impression be as terrible as this one.

"If you believe that Alva has a hand in Hroggar's wife and child's demise, then investigate it." I felt hopeful. "But be warned," Idgrod leaned forward, "If you lay a hand on Alva or anyone else without provocation in this town, regardless of their reputation, I will punish you accordingly. Understood?"

I nodded and gulped. "Yes, my jarl."

"Good. Now be off."

I spun on my heel and left quickly. My gods-damned temper is going to get me killed or jailed. At least in Whiterun I am a Thane, and can get away with assault at least once, but here? In an unknown town in an unknown Hold? I'm scamp meat. I needed to smooth things over quickly and get in the jarl's favor.
I headed back to the inn to talk to Jonna and see where I could get started on the investigation. She pointed me to the burnt down house, and said "No one ever goes there no more. Folks say it's haunted."

"Haunted with what?" I asked, getting a bit nervous.

"Don't get spooked, now. No one has ever seen nothing, it's just a bit of superstition."

I relaxed. "Well, then I guess I can make my way over there." Jonna nodded and served Lurbuk a tankard of mead. He grinned at me(I think) and raised his glass before drinking it daintily. Uhm, alright.

I headed to burned-down house. Though no longer smoking, the smell of burnt wood emanated from the charred ruins. I began to pick through the wood. Hmm. Odd. Jonna said that Hroggar claims that the fire started by his wife spilling bear fat...but the area around the hearth was barely touched. The most scorched place was what seemed like the couples' bedroom.

All I knew of fires is that usually where the fire starts is the most burnt up, and the hearth was in great condition, other than a few scorch marks and fallen bricks. Did Hroggar burn his wife in their marriage bed, then leave his daughter to die? Did he use something to make the fire spread faster? How did he keep them quiet and complacent until they passed out from the smoke? Did he drug them? Tie them up?

I was at a dead end. I couldn't beat Hroggar into telling me even if I wanted to, and Alva was untouchable until I found evidence against her. Jonna has told me all she could. I'm out of options. No wonder the jarl told me to investigate this. There's no way anyone could figure this out.

Unless...I snuck into Alva's house while she was trying to bed my husband and every other male creature in the Hold. I would have to let go of my jealousy for an hour or so, play into her hands, maybe storm off outside. And if Hroggar was at the house, hope he was asleep.

I decided to pluck the nirnroot Onmund was looking at before, and head back into the inn. There wasn't much else to do here in this town besides drink, maybe read a book. I decided to read my favorite book, Thief of Virtue, and searched through my pack to find it. I checked the side pockets. Nope. Maybe under the spare clothing? Nope. I may have left it on the carriage. Sithis and damnation. I adored that book.

I laid on the bed, alone, and wondered what Onmund was thinking. Have I treated him like a pet? A lot of Nord men appreciated a strong woman, but maybe that was the folly in my thinking. I'm an Altmer, not a Nord. Maybe he expected me to be the one who stayed home, cooking and cleaning, maybe giving birth to children. This angered me a bit. I wanted children someday, but if he expected that from me, to be kept at home and be nothing more than a baby machine-

And maybe that was my problem. I was only thinking of MY feelings. Onmund was probably feeling the anger that I feel right now. He had said exactly what was wrong, but I refused to listen.

How am I supposed to fix this?

Posted by: King Of Beasts Dec 28 2012, 07:34 PM

Wow, great chapter . Kayla definitely has reason to be suspicious though. Does Alva have onmund under a spell, or is he really just tired of being treated like a pet?

Posted by: Acadian Dec 28 2012, 11:53 PM

Oh, that's great progress! I often get quite a few thousand words out ahead before I even think about looking for episode break points. It does seem to help to have what comes next already written before you break things up and post.

You're exactly right!

‘Fine, let him be happy here with the pond sludge.’
The perfect sentiment of a woman scorned. You captured Kayla’s hurt and anger very effectively. I know she wants to punch Alva in the mouth!

Yikes, not off to a good start with the jarl is right! She really does need to sort out her feelings first. Onmund doesn’t want to be a trophy husband/housepet and Kayla doesn’t want to be a baby machine/housepet. . . .

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 30 2012, 06:38 AM

It actually took a lot of pressure off about updating. No one here is pressuring me to update, but I'm pressuring myself. SO I've been relaxing and editing, and allowing myself to give my brain a rest. But the rest is over. Now to begin another chapter!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 31 2012, 07:03 AM

CHAPTER SEVEN: Here We Go...

Apparently I had fallen asleep, because Lurbuk's off-key singing jarred me awake. Gods. I thought. This town is making me regret killing the Dark Brotherhood. He was standing outside my door, and I heard Alva and Onmund's laughter when they saw me jump.

"Sorry," Lurbuk mumbled sheepishly as I walked out of the room. "She paid me 20 septims to do that."

Doors! Why doesn't this place have any doors?

"It's alright, Lurbuk, just...don't do it again." Maybe I missed a Dark Brotherhood member...

Alva was slung over Onmund's arm playing with...his hair?! Onmund favored his mage's robes greatly, because it gave him extra magickal resistence and helped keep away disease. I had gifted it to him on our wedding night, and he rarely took them off, but now he had on a brown pair of breeches and a clean off-white shirt. She twirled his blonde hair around her finger and leaned her head on his shoulder, a move that would have been awkward for me, but she made it look so comfortable.

"What's the matter, elf? Are you not used to seeing more of your husband's body?" She purred as I walked closer to them. I flushed, and she continued to tease. "He just looked so stuffy, wearing those stinky robes, I can't believe you gave him such terrible and unflattering clothing!"

"SMART people don't dress for style or attention," I gave her a pointed look. "But for practicality. Those robes were meant to give his abilities a boost as well as keeping him for getting any nasty diseases from something... or someONE." Another pointed look.

Alva sniffed. "Considering he's always home alone and YOU'RE out cavorting with all sorts of men, I think you've got a guilty conscience."

"That's it, harlot. Get up."

"No."

"Yes. Now. I'm tired of playing games with you. You can either get up and fight me, or I can beat you down where you sit."

"Kayla!" Onmund jumped up in front of Alva and looked up at me. "I TOLD you to leave me alone. You need to go back to Whiterun. There's nothing here for you anymore."

My eyes traveled down to his neck. "IS THAT...A HICKEY?!" I roared, both of my hands igniting a firebolt spell without my knowing. "We have one fight, and you're already letting another woman touch you?"

"Oh, I did more than touch," Ala said slyly with a wicked grin. "And you better put out that fireball, before we call the town guards." She was standing behind Onmund, but looked over his shoulder to look me in the eyes. I saw that I wasn't going to have to pretend to storm out. I crushed the fire spells, turned on my heel and slammed the inn door behind me.

Completely blind with with fury, I didn't put on warmer clothes or any armor before leaving the inn. I just walked until I found myself back at the burned-down house. I lit a Candlelight spell and sat down by the remnents of the hearth and cried. After about a minute the spell ended and I was left in complete darkness, except for the light of the moon. I glanced up and saw that there was no moon, but the apparition of a child.

I shrieked and scrambled up. The child looked at me curiously, and said "You're a funny elf. I'm just a kid, why are you scared?"

"I'm not scared, you just startled me." I wiped the snot on my shoulder and squatted down to eye level with the ghost, terrified, but feigning indifference. "Tell me, what is your name?"

"Helgi. I can't find mama anywhere. I'm so lonely. Would you like to play a game?" I've never seen a ghost look hopeful. Then again, I've never been in the presence of a ghost child. I shook my head. "Not right now, sweetie. I need you to tell me something. Did your Pa set the house on fire?"

"No, he-" she shook her head. "Can we play hide and seek now? I need to hide before the other one comes."

Did she mean Alva? "Honey, who are you talking about?"

"If you find me, I'll tell you!" She disappeared, and her disembodied voice giggled "The other one is near, have to hide!"

Gods-damnit. Even in death kids never stop moving. She disappeared completely, so there was no way for me to tell which way she went. I glanced in her old room, behind the house, and found nothing. "Helgi, I don't have time for this, you need to come out now!" No answer. Well great, I'm stuck AGAIN. I sat down against the outside of the house and lit Candlelight up... What was that? A path? I hadn't seen it earlier that day when looking at the house. I was too focused on the house itself. I kept Candlelight up and slowly followed the path, extremely aware of how dark it was and how armor-less I was. I came up to a dug up grave and heard a hiss.

A hooded woman emerged from the trees and ran towards me, claws extended. I reached for Dawnbreaker, but I had forgotten to grab it before I stormed out. Why am I unarmed? I NEVER take off my sword! The woman tackled me to the ground, her red eyes glaring at me angrily. Red! Of course she would be a vampire!

I tried to get her to roll over and get her under me, but she was strong. I had her held back by her shoulders, keeping her snapping jaws away from my neck and her claws away from my face. She raked one set of claws against my arm and I screeched in pain. She laughed, her diseased spittle dripping onto my tunic and neck.

"IIZ!" I shouted at her head, and her head and torso were frozen. Her greatest weapon taken away, she kicked and flailed around, allowing me to knock her over. She couldn't get up, the ice was weighing her down very well.

"Laelette?"

Seriously?!

"Stay back," I warned, getting up. I gripped my injured arm, eyeing the man. No red eyes that I could see by my still-lit Candlelight spell. Laelette still floundered around on the ground, and I asked the man "Who is she?"

"She is my WIFE! I thought she ran off to join the Stormcloacks!" He tried to push passed me. "What have you done?"

I put the uninjured arm on his chest and held him back. "She's a vampire."

"No..."

He dropped the axe he was holding, and fell to his knees. The ice began to melt. I dropped to my knees in front of the man.

"Listen to me, what is your name?"

"Thonnir-"

"Look, Thonnir, when that ice breaks, your wife, that vampire, is going to try to kill us. She doesn't care who you are or where you come from, if you have blood, she will drink it. A decision needs to be made. Are you going to let me have that axe so I can-"

"NO!" Thonnir roared and jumped up. "You are NOT killing my wife!"

"THONNIR! She may have killed Helgi!"

Thonnir stopped. I wasn't sure if that was true or not, but in order for me to not get on this man's bad side for killing his undead wife, I had no other options.

"She...killed that little girl? Oh Laelette..." Thonnir's gaze flicked to the dug up grave and to Laelette's almost defrosted form. He swallowed.

"Let me do it."

He picked up the axe, and I murmured "Thonnir, you don't have to-" He swung the axe, and with a wet crack that made bile rise into my throat, he drove the axe into Laelette's neck. Not even a gurgle was heard, as a pool of blood spread out beneath Laelette's now still form. Thonnir dropped the axe and said "Alva told me she had joined the Stormcloaks. Looks like Alva is a damned liar."

Alva again? "Thonnir, why is Alva everywhere in this town? Your wife, my husband, the odd behaviour of Hroggar... What's going on?"

"I don't know, but if your husband has begun seeing her, then you need to grab him and keep him as far away as possible from her." I kept his eyes averted from Laelette's remains. "Laelette would go to her house, take walks with her in the evenings, even though she used to hate her. All of a sudden they were best of friends." He gave me a wary look. "Maybe Laelette DID run off to join the Stormcloaks and got attacked on the way there, but my Laelette would never just up and leave. Alva is up to something. If you find that something, come find me." And with that, he walked away, axe in hand.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Dec 31 2012, 07:14 AM

Argh! It gets me so mad that Alva has Onmund under her spell! When Kayla gets her hands on that little [censored] I hope she rips her head off. I say: HIRE THE DAWNGUARD!

ROFL I'm probably the only one who would think its funny to watch a person with their head frozen in a block of ice, laying on the ground, wildly flailing their legs and arms, and not able to get up.

This was an amazing chapter, BRAVO! can't wait for the next one.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Dec 31 2012, 08:00 AM

I kept giggling and had to go "Kayla! Serious part! Quit playing around!" XD

Posted by: Acadian Dec 31 2012, 02:44 PM

‘Doors! Why doesn't this place have any doors?’
Nice poke at the inns of Skyrim!

What a ‘gonna punch her in the mouth’ scene this was! I don’t know whether to be more pissed at Alva or Onmund. Unless he truly is under some mighty powerful magical spell, he’s in big trouble and Kayla needs to consider the utility of a future with him. Since he seems somewhat of a mage himself, I’m not optimistic - one would think a mage would be able to detect the employment of such magicks against him and take steps to counter them. Argh!

And Kayla storms out of the inn right into a compelling quest. Hmm. . . seems Alva’s a common thread somehow.

Now, let me confess at this point that I'm an Oblivion player and don’t play Skyrim. Please bear that in mind when I share my perceptions with you as I may not know the boundaries between your fanfic and Skyrim quests/events. It’s actually kind of fun reading this way.

I learned here that Kayla has some history with the Dark Brotherhood – and apparently it didn’t go well for them. Also, unless I missed it earlier, I see Kayla knows some of that ‘word shouty magick’ where you cast special spells by yelling at folks.

Your extra editing efforts paid handsomely with this episode. Here’s the only tiny nit I could find:
‘Completely blind with with fury, I didn't put on warmer clothes or any armor before leaving the inn.’
(an extra ‘with’)

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 1 2013, 08:39 AM

Alva convinced Onmund to take off his mage robes, and since he isn't skilled in Restoration, he can't shield himself too well without the robes. It's more than a jab at his magickal skills, it's a jab at his naivety. He went from his family home to the College to marrying Kayla. For all intents and purposes, Kayla is his "highschool sweetheart." Kayla, being an adventurer, may have more experience in this field. More of her story will come out, of course.

One mistake? Hot damn!!!

Yeah, Kayla is "The Dragonborn," but I'm not focusing on that at the moment. Eventually she'll be like "Well, MAYBE I should save the world," but right now, I'm focusing on her as a person and not as a hero.

And she killed the Dark Brotherhood. Every single one of them XD

I try to stay true to the quests, but change the dialogue and expand on the NPC reactions to suit the fic. In the next chapter, I'll be straying a bit from the quest, but the result is the same as the quest end.

Happy New Year everyone!!

Posted by: mALX Jan 1 2013, 10:23 PM

Chapter 3 was a quieting after the power of the second chapter, “too quiet” and leaves the reader still wondering what that nightmare was all about, and about the secrets of Kayla’s past. Awesome feeling of suspense in reading your story! I am loving this !!!!

Chapter 4 - Once again you prove your forte’ in writing natural dialogue that moves the story along well - Great Writing!

SPEW! LOVED this line!



I thought of Grits’s Jerric immediately on this line, (sex and food in any order)

I could quote every single bit of the section on walking into the Moorside Inn, most especially the description of the bard and everything regarding Alva (including Kayla’s inner dialogue regarding her)! A great insight into why Onmund has been left home while Kayla was out adventuring all this time, ROFL !!! Absolutely LOVED that whole section!

This had me rolling:



Actually, Onmund may have been cheating longer than Kayla knows of, here is a screenshot I caught of him ogling some girl in the bushes!


http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/Images/259193-1345223836.jpg


(Just kidding) - but Alva’s presence in your story does give rise to some speculation on Kayla’s dream about Onmund becoming a vampire! URK !!!!

You really ratcheted up the tension in this chapter, absolutely LOVING this!

Chapter 5 - I’m really not sure if this is Onmund talking or if Alva has used some vampiry charm powers on him.

SPEW!!! I think Hroggar took the beating she wanted to give Alva and Onmund, ROFL !!!

You are doing an AWESOME job with Kayla finding out what is going on in this town! I am totally LOVING this !!!!!!!

You nailed this, I was floored by how well you did the scene with the Jarl!




One nit - Joanna became Jonna between the 4th and 5th chapters. You did explain it, but may want to go back and edit it in the earlier chapter just for the sake of readers (like me) who are coming in afterward and reading.

I absolutely LOVED these last two chapters, you had me riveted to the pages in both!


Nit? - Chapter 6 is missing?


Chapter 7 - WHEW! Powerful chapter! Two scenes stood out strongly, the one between Kayla and Onmund and when Thonnir re-killed Laelette - AWESOME WRITE !!!! I am loving both your story and your writing of it!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 2 2013, 03:44 AM

[quote name='mALX' date='Jan 1 2013, 03:23 PM' post='148230']


Nit? - Chapter 6 is missing?

[/quote]
Chapter 6 might be chapter 7. Everything is in order. Chapter 5 ended up being chapters 5, 6, and 7 lol. Or was it chapter 6 ended up...I don't know, but no chapters have been skipped :]


[quote]Actually, Onmund may have been cheating longer than Kayla knows of, here is a screenshot I caught of him ogling some girl in the bushes!


http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/Images/259193-1345223836.jpg[/quote]

He looks so handsome in this picture D: I have such a crush on Onmund lol.

I mean...ehm...-eyes dart back and forth-

[quote]I thought of Grits’s Jerric immediately on this line, (sex and food in any order)[/quote]
Oddly enough, I was only introduced to the handsome Jerric about 3 days ago :]

[/quote]One nit - Joanna became Jonna between the 4th and 5th chapters. You did explain it, but may want to go back and edit it in the earlier chapter just for the sake of readers (like me) who are coming in afterward and reading. [/quote] I know, I know. I think from now on I will write her as Jonna. I may slip up once in a while and call her Joanna though.

I REALLY appreciate everyone's reviews!! I know normally the authors answer questions or musings, but I don't want to answer a question, then be suddenly inspired and write it totally different. Not to mention when someone states something specific, chances are it's being answered in the next chapter. I'm not ignoring your questions, I promise!

Posted by: McBadgere Jan 4 2013, 07:46 PM

So much that is so goood!!... ...

Oh, and if this Onmund stuff is at least partly from experience...I'm so sorry... ...Pfft...Men!...

Oh wait... ...

Aaaamywho...

Loved it all...Brilliant stuff!!...

Nice one!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 4 2013, 10:19 PM

My boss walked into work, and since I've been taking over his position at work because his apartment burned down (Weird, huh?!) he sent me home for a few hours so I wouldn't get in trouble for exceeding my hours too much. So I'm here, editing my story and relaxing for a bit. I haven't had time to edit this one as thoroughly as the last chapter, but I'm doing my best lol. Enjoy!



CHAPTER 8: Uhhhh...Chapter...8?

I heard a child's voice, excited. "You did it! You found me! And stopped Laelette. She tried to save me, I think. She started the fire, but then promised me we would be friends forever. She kissed my neck, and I got cold. But I'm not cold anymore, just...tired."

"Helgi?" No answer. I kicked a small patch of snow and cursed, then realized that this exonerated Hroggar of any crimes. But why would Laelette burn a child alive, just to turn her? And what did this have to do with Alva? Did Hroggar hire...no, that's too complicated. Why would Hroggar hire a vampire to burn his family alive just to move in with Alva? And how did this tie in with him needing to protect her the the dayti-

I felt my face pale. I began walking to Alva's house. Gods, if I wasn't wrong, then I hoped the truth was less terrible than I thought. I passed a few guards on my way, nodded courteously and gulping. I'm sure I looked odd, battling between terrified and passive facial expressions. I healed my arm along the way with the weak Restoration spell I knew, and once I reached her door, I looked around to see if there was anyone around. Nope. I knelt down and leaned my ear against the door. Silence. I picked the lock, snapping two in the process. I need to calm down.

The door swung upen, and flooded the street with... Darkness. Is there no one home? I wondered. I slipped in and saw Hroggar's sleeping form on the bed. I closed the door quietly, and he stirred. I froze.

"Alva..." he murmured sleepily, then silence. I let out a quiet sigh of relief and continued tiptoeing around the house. This shack was too small for two people to live in... I spotted the ring on the floor that was attached to the basement. Jackpot! The hinges squeaked only a tad, barely enough to be considered a squeak, and I descended down.

In the center of the room was an empty coffin. I began to tremble. Coffins were a common sight in Skyrim... In crypts, barrows, and vampire lairs. I walked forward and saw a small journal in the coffin. I picked it up and began to read.

"My life is dreary. Where is my prince come to rescue me? Where is my bold Nord warrior to sweep me off my feet?

I met a man today when picking nightflowers. He is exciting and exotic. We kissed in the moonlight. It was so romantic. I'm going to see him again tonight.

Now I understand the true colors of the night. Movarth has shown me the true black of night and the true red of blood. He has promised me a feast of blood if I do his bidding in Morthal."

I dropped the journal. Not... Movarth. I thought he had moved to Cyrodil ages ago. Maybe even Hammerfell. He was still in Skyrim?

I picked the journal again and looked for something, anything to uncover where his lair was. Nothing. Except Movarth was going to do the exact same thing to Morthal as he did to my-

The almost imperceptible squeak of the basement entrance hinge was overpowered with Hroggar's enraged roar as he came crashing down the ladder. He landed on his left leg weird, but completely ignored it and limped towards me, dagger in one hand.

"I WILL KILL YOU!" he bellowed, slashing his dagger at my neck. I dodged easily, ducked under his arm and kicked at his bad leg. He fell on his knees and grunted, and I took that opportunity to pull the dagger from his grasp and place him in the exact same position I had him in earlier today.

"Okay, listen up for the second time. I need to know where Movarth is." I put pressure on his arm, causing him to grunt and grit his teeth in pain. He tried to shake his head, but the floor kept him from doing that.

"Alright, how about another approach? Right at this moment, your precious Alva is doing nasty, dirty," I choked back some tears, "and probably illegal things with another man-MY husband. If you want me to go stop that, you need to tell me everything I need to know."

"Or I could just let Alva eat him!"

Does nothing ever go my way? Am I really so bad at threatening that everyone laughs in my face??

"The entire town is going to be cattle for an ancient vampire, who is ALSO bedding Alva!"

"Good! This town is useless!"

"She may be having relations with Lami?"

"Everyone is entitled to a little experimentation!"

What?! That's it. I'm never, EVER becoming a spy. Information is just not my business.

"You know what, Hroggar? I think I know why Alva picked you to be her protector. You are the saddest excuse for a man I've ever seen. You allowed your wife and child, two people who loved you to no extent and unconditionally, die for a woman who isn't even half as attractive as a horker. Experimentation my taut elf british boat! Did you never wonder what their dying moments were like while you bedded Alva? Did you know Laelette tried to turn Helgi into a vampire?"

Hroggar stopped struggling. "Helgi? My Helgi was..." he trailed off.

He was silent for a moment. "I didn't burn the house down. I can tell you that much. I can't even begin to fathom why I never questioned my family's death."

I let go of his arms and stood up. "Atone for this now. Tell me what I need to know so I can avenge your family's death."

Hroggar stood up and faced me. "I can't." He saw my face and said, "You don't understand, it's not that I won't, I CAN'T. Only the guilt of this moment is allowing me to break a few chains. All I can say is that Movarth is very, very near. And there isn't very many hiding spots or cave-" He cut off in mid-sentence, and I think I caught his drift.

"Can I trust you to not follow me? Or try to kill me again?"

He shook his head.

"Will you let me tie you up?"

He got into a defensive stance, like he was going to try to punch me if I tried to do anything. "OKay," I sighed. "Then that means I have to try to knock you out, THEN tie you up." His face set in determination, he lunged at me, and I dodged him and shouted.

"IIZ!" The ice formed around his body, completly encasing it. His form was still standing up, arms wrapped around himself as if in a hug. I looked him in the eye and taped on the ice.

"You're only encased, not frozen completely through. You won't be in there long, so you won't suffocate. I'm going to keep you in here and lock the basement door, alright? I'll come back for you if I survive." And with that, I climbed up the ladder, and locked the basement door. I went to Jarl Idgrod, who wasn't too happy at being disturbed from her sleep. She read the journal.

"There is a cave nearby, northwest of here... If Hroggar said Movarth is nearby, that must be where he is. I suggest you make haste, and get your husband away from Alva as soon as possible."

I nodded. "Also, make sure your court wizard gives Hroggar a cure disease potion and dispels the magic on him. He isn't quite a completely obedient thrall yet, but given his inability to tell me everything he could and the complacency during the events that transpired, I'd say he is well on his way." I slammed the door behind me.

When I opened the door to the inn, I expected to see Alva and Onmund attached at the mouth, but they were nowhere to be seen. Lurbuk was passed out on a bench, but Jonna was sweeping.

"Where is Onmund? Where's Alva?" I sprinted to my room and began to put my armor on. Jonna called "They went on a walk, said the night was perfect for it." I sheathed Dawnbreaker and walked out. "Alva is a vampire. She's been trying to turn the town into cattle for her and her vampire group."

Jonna's face paled a little, and I ran outside, leaving her standing there with her broom. I grabbed two cure disease potions and flew out the door. I saw the townsfolk gathering, but ran passed them. No time for a posse. I headed towards the cave, hopefully, and eventually found its gaping maw. I ducked into the opening, hand on Dawnbreaker's hilt.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Jan 4 2013, 10:27 PM

Great chapter! Alva is gonna get hers, that's for sure....

Posted by: mALX Jan 5 2013, 04:18 PM

Kayla’s inner dialogue ROCK’d this whole chapter, but I especially LOVED the whole scene with Hroggar when she was trying to get information from him!

Details: Your tiny details add so much to the story, I could picture the whole scene with Hroggar when she wanted to tie him up by the detail you gave his actions - Awesome visual writing here, and also with Jarl Idgrod’s attitude over being woken up in the night - these little additions bring your story to life so well!

GAAAAH! A cliffhanger! Awesome Write, I am LOVING this story !!!!!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 5 2013, 06:59 PM

Thanks y'all! ^.^

Posted by: Acadian Jan 5 2013, 07:05 PM

‘I picked the lock, snapping two in the process. I need to calm down.’
This was very effective and efficient. Kayla not only told us she is rather skilled with lockpicks, but clearly displayed how upset and nervous she was.

‘Does nothing ever go my way? Am I really so bad at threatening that everyone laughs in my face??
"The entire town is going to be cattle for an ancient vampire, who is ALSO bedding Alva!"


Wow, that shout magic is very handy for temporarily putting someone on. . . well, ice.

’I ducked into the opening, hand on Dawnbreaker's hilt.’
You've done a great job of building things up here for quite the showdown. This continues to be a wonderful story!

Nits.
‘And how did this tie in with him needing to protect her the the dayti-‘
Two ‘the’s’ in a row. Perhaps you wanted something like ‘during’ instead of the first ‘the’?

“Experimentation my taut elf british boat!”
Caught by the auto censor. Testimony to doing at least one edit in 'forum format' such as in a PM to yourself.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 5 2013, 07:17 PM

I didn't know that a-r-s-e was considered a curseword. My bad, lol

Posted by: mALX Jan 5 2013, 07:23 PM

Yes, a$$ is "boat" (for some odd reason), ar$e is "British boat" (as in ar$e is how the British say a$$), lol.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 5 2013, 07:28 PM

Well then. lol

Posted by: mALX Jan 6 2013, 02:11 AM

Lol! One of the best ways to figure out what is acceptable on this site is to send yourself a PM with every curse word, dirty word, filthy word, or just plain disgusting word on it in numbered list form. (Copied and pasted from your word processor so you have a copy of what you originally said).

When you receive the PM, open it and see which words have been changed (and to what).

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 6 2013, 04:59 AM

Yeah. And then I'll have to become more creative. Even though the filter changes are hilarious XD

Posted by: mALX Jan 6 2013, 05:12 AM

I know, like "loaf of bread" for a man's thingy. Whoever wrote that one must have been looking into one of those mirrors that gives an inflated view.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 6 2013, 05:12 AM

HAHAHAHA-hack- -cough- -gasp-

Posted by: King Of Beasts Jan 6 2013, 06:03 AM

For some reason that reminds me of the lusty argonian maid -vomits in corner-

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 6 2013, 06:48 AM

-turns off computer and walks away-

Posted by: King Of Beasts Jan 6 2013, 07:59 AM

ROFL! Your welcome

Posted by: jack cloudy Jan 7 2013, 10:27 PM

Things are heating up! (Or cooling down, depending on how often people are being told to freeze) The good news is, our heroine did not forget to bring her sword for this fight.


I'm also intrigued by the vampire thrall thing. Up till now I'd thought they were essentially pre-vampires, infected but not yet fully matured. But they're actually mindcontrolled slaves? Well, that suddenly makes me feel bad for killing them.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 8 2013, 02:43 AM

It's only my theory on them. In the game quest, if you kill Alva and let Hroggar live, he goes back to normal. Of course, when other thralls come about and you kill their vampires, they'll still attack you. I'm basing my definition of "thralls" off the dictionary meaning, which means mental (or moral) servitude. Alva was using Hroggar to protect her during the daytime. He was her slave, and Laelette served to quench her thirst. I don't think Alva ever transferred the disease to Hroggar, but did to Laelette, which is why Hroggar is only a thrall while Lselette turned.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 8 2013, 11:48 PM

Chapter 9: The lair

I have no plan.

I realized this once I reached the balcony overlooking Movarth's "dining room." I could smell the rotten flesh and the thick smell of iron, probably blood. I swallowed the spit and bile that threatened to force its way up my throat. Belly to the floor, I watched to see what they did. I saw no signs of Onmund or Alva, and hoped they were making love somewhere, and not here. I never thought I'd say that.

Movarth feasted on some poor soul's arm, while the other two vampires with him had a foot apiece. I calculated how quickly I could take out the other vampires before Movarth got to me. Before I could make two scenarios in my head, Movarth's head snapped up.

"Ahhh... I smell the familiar scent of prey."

My heart slammed in my chest. I wasn't even moving, how did he find me?! Before I could I could get up and take my punishment, Movarth's voice carried through the cavern. "Is your thirst slaked for now, Alva?"

What what what? Alva came into view, pulling what seemed to be a drunken man. Onmund?! His blonde hair matted against his head and neck, I could see the spot where the "hickey" was from earlier. It looked a lot bigger and a lot redder now.

I could hear the grin in Alva's voice as she slurred "Mmm, yes, magic has a wonderful effect on the senses." She let go of Onmund's arm and he dropped to his knees, then fell on his side. He wasn't drunk, he was dizzy from blood loss.

"You took a little too much again, didn't you? At this rate there won't be any men or women left in Morthal if you keep turning them," Movarth said in a lecturing tone.

Alva sniffed. "I can't help that I enjoy men and women who lie and deceive their spouses over me. This man was easier than Hroggar and Laelette. His elf wife kept him holed up in a house and took him away from a life of adventure. Well, now he's having an adventure," she giggled. Onmund took in a raspy breath.

"Maybe he won't survive long enough to change. It was fun while it lasted."

"You TRAMP!" I jumped off the ground and sent a firebolt towards Alva's head. She dodged it in time, but looked around, panicked, before darting off, leaving Onmund on the floor and me to face Movarth and his men. One met me head on while the other flanked me. Movarth just watched from his chair as I swung wildly at the vampire in front of me. He dodged each slice, whether at his abdomen or neck, legs, or arms, until the one who flanked me kicked my legs out from under me. They laughed as one kneed me in the nose, knocking me onto my side.

Tears stung my eyes as my nose throbbed in horrible pain. I screamed until one kicked my throat. Unable to Shout, I covered my face as they delivered blow after blow, kick after kick and licked their knuckles and fingers clean of my blood. One delivered a particularly powerful kick to a kidney, which made me see stars. Sobbing from the pain, I curled into a protective ball. I heard a sword unsheath and accepted my end.

But the end didn't come. At least not at that time. Someone stepped near my face and after a moment, I looked up through swollen eyes. It was Movarth, looking the same as he did so many years ago. His eyes gleamed coldly as he regarded me.

"What's the matter, don't recognize me?" I rasped, and he smiled what I assumed to be a kind smile. It was like looking at a grinning sabrecat.

"Can't say that I do, pet," he purred, kneeling to the ground. "Tell me, is this your husband over there?" I knew he meant Onmund, as he made no gesture, nor took his eyes off me. I kept silent. I felt oddly sleepy in spite of my pain.

"No answer, then? I suppose you won't mind if I just let Alva have him, then."

"No..." I felt my breath quicken and my heart started pounding on overdrive. I slowly rolled onto my stomach, despite the feeling that I was carrying a water pouch in my stomach I stood up and held Dawnbreaker shakily in one hand and tried to load the right spell. My chest hurt, and I could only take in little breaths before the pain became too much.

Movarth watched and let one side of his mouth turn up in a smile. "So this IS your husband. You must be the neglecting elf Alva has told me about." Movarth looked me up and down. I wavered for a slight second, and Movarth knocked me down with one punch to the cheek. I landed a few feet away and couldn't get back up. I vomited up a mouthful of bright red blood and coughed. I had lost my grip on Dawnbreaker when Movarth had knocked me down, and he bent over to pick it up. The blade's light shined brighter when his hand got near it, and he straightened up.

"Dawnbreaker. A daedric weapon made specifically to fight the undead," he mused. "Tell me, elf, were you anticipating this town being overtaken? Do you have a crusade against the undead?" He pressed his boot against my throat. I whimpered and struggled to breath, and tried to push his foot away. My legs kicked uselessly.

"How many of my undead bretheren have fallen to this sword?" He shouted.

When I didn't answer and continued to attempt to remove his foot from my neck, he pressed harder, effectively cutting off my air. I felt my lungs panic and my eyes opened wide. My mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping for water. The edges of my vision began to blur, and I felt my eyes drooping as I began to pass out. I had one last line of defense.

I loaded all the will I could tap into and gripped Movarth's robe, fire in hand. His robes caught fire, causing him to jump off me and drop my sword. His robes caught too quickly for him to put them out, and his undead flesh caught fire as well. I used this opportunity to drag myself to his flaming, screaming form and grab Dawnbreaker. He had fallen to his knees and was trying to heal himself right up until I used the rest of my strength to try to bury Dawnbreaker into his heart. It barely broke the skin, but Dawnbreaker got the hint and there was an explosion that incinerated Movarth. I was done.

I couldn't heal. All of my potions were broken, except one cure disease potion that had fallen out of my pack when the vampires began beating me senseless. I belly-crawled to it and dragged myself over to Onmund. He was breathing, still able to make it. If he rested, he would be able to make more blood. I, on the other hand, was not going to make it. And I was alright with that.

I pulled the cork off, which took more time than it should have. The swelling in my belly became more evident and more painful, and I was coughing and vomiting more blood. I poured a small bit on the bite Alva had given him to cleanse it, then lifted the bottle to his lips. He coughed and choked and bodily instinct made him drink. He began to stir. I wilted onto the floor. That was alright. Everything was alright. I was going to die next to Onmund, and he would live. And that was fine.

"Kayla?" I barely registered Onmund's voice. I smiled regardless. He was awake. He was cured, and would be alright. I was ready to go to the Colored Rooms of Meridia's realm. No Sovngarde for me, but that was alright too. I was tired of fighting. I felt a liquid go down my throat, but knew it was too late. I heard voices and the sound of chaos, firebolts being hurled, and death screams. Someone shook me and sobbed while they held me. They rocked back and forth and kissed my face.

And then that was it.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Jan 9 2013, 12:03 AM

Is Kayla alright or is this really the end? I'm pretty sure she's alright though.

Movarth is quite cruel and greatly deserved to die the way he did.



Do you mean "Dawnbreaker" Don't worry, I make spelling mistakes ALL the time, and usually don't catch them.

Excellent chapter, it's nice to sit down and read after a long, stressful day if being yelled at by teachers. All I have left to say is:

Well Done


EDIT: I even make spelling mistakes in my comments I fixed it though

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 9 2013, 12:08 AM

-snort- Thanks for catching that!! I missed that with the three edits I made lol

Posted by: Acadian Jan 9 2013, 12:47 AM

This was a great episode! What a fantastic and tense fight scene where the outcome was constantly in question. After finally managing to kill Movarth, Kayla’s nurturing nature really shined through as she tended to Onmund’s condition instead of her own wounds. You did a fabulous job of describing her loss of blood and disorientation from internal bleeding as she slipped into shock. Not surprisingly, she is suffering a bit of delirium and I don’t think we’ll know exactly what transpired at the end until later.

Let me join KoB in offering you a hearty ‘Well done!’

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 9 2013, 01:53 AM

Really? -girlish squeal- I was so nervous about getting this chapter perfect.

Posted by: Grits Jan 9 2013, 05:17 AM

Oh wow, what a great chapter!

Even if there was a plan, I think it would have gone out the window right there. Damn that Alva!

The fight was very tense, and you still have me worried for Kayla. Her devotion to Onmund really shone through.

I like the way you showed events at the end through Kayla’s increasingly blurred perspective. I can guess what happened, but I’m looking forward to finding out for sure.

What an exciting and very enjoyable chapter!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 9 2013, 05:29 AM

Thanks, Grits! Y'all are gonna give me a huge head lol.

Posted by: mALX Jan 10 2013, 02:08 AM

The first paragraph was so gritty you could smell it - Love how you can bring the reader right into the scene like that!

This sent a chill down my spine!


GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



What an amazing, POWERFUL write !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was riveted to the page from the second Movarth's head snapped up .... HOLY CRAP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AWESOME, AWESOME WRITE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 11 2013, 04:18 AM

-blushes- tooo kiiiind!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 12 2013, 09:44 PM

I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret. This chapter was difficult for me to write. I'm hoping you see why.





Chapter 9: Ripped Away

A warm breeze blew the pink mountain flower bush, scattering a few petals on the dirt ground around it. The Skyrim sun bgan to set, the sun's rose-petal fingers stretching out one last time before slumbering. I watched the sky slowly darken from my spot on the small boulder outside my home, built by my and my husband's own two hands.

Another breeze wafted the smell of cooked rabbit, seasoned to a sweet scent, under my nose. My stomach growled, and I looked down at my portuding belly. The physician in Solitude said I was coming to full term very soon, and should take a trip to the city and stay there until the baby was born. She asked what I wanted. I said a healthy baby, and she had laughed.

A large hand reached from behind me and rubbed my belly. "How's our little man?" Onmund cooed at my stomach. "Has be been giving you trouble again? Are you feeling sick?"

I shook my head. "Not today. I think it's my rest day." I gave Onmund a half grin. "You know it's a girl."

"I don't know how you would know."

"I just know." I leaned back into Onmund and took a deep breath. "This is wonderful. It's everything I've ever wanted. You, a child, peace and quiet. No one to bother us. No one to answer to."

"It's perfect." He kissed the top of my head. "Dinner's ready."

We stood up and I let Onmund lead the way. The breeze felt chilly for a moment, and Onmund turned around to say something, but froze. The leaves stopped in mid-air, the trees were in mid-bend, but the sky continued to darken. I looked around wildy. Everything had stopped. Time itself had stopped, except the sun.

"You cannot have this."

I whipped my head around, searching wildly for the source of the voice. It sounded both male and female, both angry and comforting. The child in my belly flinched, and I grunted.

"It's alright, mama's okay," I soothed. "Who are you?" I demanded loudly. "What do you want?"

The leaves whipped up by the breeze gathered in front of me. Dead leaves, deep green leaves, and red, orange and yellow leaves formed a human figure in front of me. The lids opened, and the figure took a gasping breath as the leaves fell away. The figure seemed to be both male and female, neither lacking nor over-compensating in feminine and masculine qualities. The clothes it wore were both flattering and modest, and gave no hints to its gender.

"I am Meridia."

I blinked. Meridia wore a hood over its head, and no small tuft of hair escaped to allow me to see what color hair it had chosen for this form. Strong, high cheekbones adorned the face of the daedric prince, yet full, pink lips delivered the devastating verbal blow.

"You cannot have this. This is not what you were meant for."

"And why not?" I demanded, angry tears stinging my eyes. "Can't I just stay here and be happy? Haven't I earned that?"

"No." Firm, yet sorrowful. "You cannot have this. Not yet. Not here, not now."

"But when?"

"Only Time will tell."

I sobbed, and rubbed my swollen belly. The child inside was still, and a feeling of dread came over me. I felt my heart falter for a second, and sobs wrenched my body. Meridia touched my belly, a sorrowful look in the Daedric Prince's eyes.

"This one was never meant to be. I gave it life in hopes it would prevail, but its light was snuffed out."

A faint memory of pain, kicking boots and bloody knuckles... Laughter and death...

"No..." I wailed. "Please..." I fell to my knees, stroking my abdomen in hopes that the child would stir, that it was a lie, a dream...

"This IS a dream," Meridia knelt beside me. "One you must awaken from. Come." Meridia grasped my hand and pulled me to my feet. "No sense in dwelling on has happened. You have lost one thing, but if you do not steel yourself, you will lose everything."

Meridia pressed a hand to my heart.

"Return."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


My eyes flew open. The wooden beams of the dwelling I was in was the first things I saw. I blinked a few times before taking a deep breath. My chest hurt, like I had not breathed in days. I turned my head slighltly to the right and saw my nightstand. I looked to my left and saw that the bed was unmade and empty. I pushed myself up slowly, and winced when a sharp pain in my abdomen brought me back down to my bed.

I began to shake.

Did I really lose a child?

I knew I did. A breath snaked its way through my lungs, past my lips and into the air that suddenly became too hot. It became a high-pitched wail. I laid on my side and clutched my now barren womb and sobbed. My heart and body ached for the child that will never be. No gasp of air and a sudden cry. No ticklish baby feet. No lessons on how to properly pronounce "r's," nor teaching the value of a septim.

There will be no sword lessons, nor chasing off any boyfriends or girlfriends with an evil eye. No musical giggles. No bedtime stories. No one to give my love to that would love me unconditionally back. An entire lifetime of hopes, dreams, and experiences ended suddenly with a swift kick.

I wished I had died with the child. That Movarth had simply drained me and was done with it. Anything to get rid of this pain. Anything. I continued to cry out for my child, the sobs jerking my body so much that it riddled my lower half with pain. Eventually I was so exhausted that I must have fallen asleep.

A loud crash, followed by a loud curse jerked me out of my sleep. A male voice, slurred by alcohol carried up the stairs.

"Did you die yet, you filthy elf?"

Who...?

A body stumbled in, reeking of mead, wine, and vomit. When it looked up, bloodshot eyes looked back. The green color made me recognize who it was.

"Onmund?!"

"I thought you would have died by now," he slurred, laying on his belly. He rolled onto his back. "Too bad you didn't. Then I could take a wife who wouldn't kill her children." He scratched his newly formed beard. "I'd say we could always make another one, but Danica said you're ruined."

I could only lie there, my already pained heart breaking even more. Tears rolled down my cheeks as Onmund belched and continued.

"She said elves can only have maybe 1 or 2 kids. Since you killed this one, that means you may never be able to have kids again. So, thanks for wasting my time and ruining my life."

"You idiotic, milk-drinking, scamp-suckling, son of a half-septim prostitute!"

Lydia's slight, yet imposing figure silhouetted the doorway in front of a bleary-eyed Onmund. "I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it. Are you so lost in your own selfish self-pity that you can't see that she has lost a child too?" She stepped closer. Her face read nothing but fury, her full mouth thinned in a scowl while her blue eyes shot poisoned arrows at Onmund.

"It's her fault!" Onmund protested.

With that, Lydia's armored foot kicked him in the stomach, causing him to spill its contents all over the wooden floors. Lydia continued while I gagged.

"I knew there was a reason you told me to leave. You wanted to come here and make her feel worse than she already does! What kind of man are you?" She pulled him up with one arm and pushed him against the wall. Onmund looked dazed and green, half-digested mead and wine dribbling from his mouth.

"You need to wake up. YOU let some vamp tramp coax you out of your clothes and into her bed while Kayla was SOLVING A MURDER!" Onmund shrank against the wall as much as he could.

Lydia continued, "She risks her life every time she goes out those gates and you know this! How many times has she come back half dead? How many times has she come back to YOU?" Lydia took a deep breath and exhaled.

"You are staying at the inn until further notice. Got it?"

Onmund fumed. "I don't have to take orders from you! You are under MY employ!"

Lydia cocked her arm back and quicker than I could register, she socked Onmund in the mouth, then on the cheek. Onmund slumped onto the ground, knocked out. I burst into tears.

Lydia sat on the edge of the bed and shushed me gently. I gripped her hand and bawled. I bawled for my own grief, and for my husband's. In a low voice, she sang to me. I don't remember the words as much as the tune, which was soothing and sad. When I quit crying, Lydia patted my hand and stood up.

"I'm going to take him to the Bannered Mare. The jarl pays me well enough for me to keep him there. He tried to use your savings for a nurser-" she cut herself off, then changed her wording. "He tried to use your money instead of his own. I've been paying for his room, but he's racking up quite a debt to Hulda and other townspeople."

"I'll pay it off," I said quietly. My voice was hoarse, and Lydia raised an eyebrow. "He's still my husband, and I can't have him thrown in jail for not paying off his debts." Lydia nodded, then slung one of Onmund's arms over her shoulder. She supported almost all of his weight and called over her shoulder that she would be fetching Danica on her way back. I almost didn't hear her. I simply laid there, numb.

I killed my child.

I... killed my child.

I never even had the chance to feel it move.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Jan 12 2013, 10:00 PM

Onmund was a real [censored] in this chapter. I Say: Feed him to the hounds if Hircine!

I feel really bad for Kayla, lt must be horrible to lose a child...

Tell him Lydia

I can see why you had a hard time writing this chapter, but it was amazing.

Since one good Job isn't enough I'll give you:



EDIT: I can't write one comment without a spelling mistake, can I

Posted by: mALX Jan 12 2013, 10:06 PM

Very powerful and emotional chapter! I can understand how hard it must have been to write, very real emotions came through! Left some mystery for how she survived the attack in Morthal and found herself where she is! Awesome Write!

Posted by: jack cloudy Jan 13 2013, 10:32 PM

Oh my, it's not getting any better, is it?
Even after getting his neck saved, Onmund just acts like a jerk. Wait a sec, had it been mentioned before that she was pregnant? I remember her saying she didn't want to be a baby-factory, but that's it.


Oh, and a tiny nit though it's not your fault. Species that only ever get one or two kids never made sense to me. At best it leads to a stable population. But as soon as someone trips over a pebble and breaks his neck, you're on the road to extinction.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 13 2013, 10:37 PM

I think they did the "Only 1 or 2 babies" thing for elves because of their long lifespan. If they could repopulate like humans, then there would be no room for humans or beastfolk. It's a way to balance out the advantage.

And no, she didn't know she was pregnant. This was her way of finding out she was.

Posted by: Acadian Jan 14 2013, 02:01 AM

Powerful stuff indeed. The scene you set for Meridia and your presentation of the Daedra Lord was superb. In fact the whole dream was a perfect setup for what followed. I can only imagine Meridia may have thought saving Kayla from being bound by child to such a foolish jerk may have been part of her thinking. Yet, it is so harsh to Kayla as well. Who can fathom the ways of Daedra Lords?

Speaking of Onmund, Lydia was the only one acting like a man is this episode. I confess I was glad to see her punch Onmund in the mouth.

All opinions of course, but I agree with you on the lore described by Berenziah that elves are lucky to produce more than one to three children in a lifetime and why it is so. In Buffy’s world, not only do elves have trouble conceiving, but they have a semiannual cycle of fertility rather than a human’s monthly one. At least they have several centuries to keep trying though instead of a few brief decades. Elven children are hard to create and, and no less demanding once born.

Nits -
’ The Skyrim sun bgan to set,'
began
"No sense in dwelling on has happened.”
I think you want a ‘what’ after ‘on’.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 14 2013, 02:28 AM

Bahahaha!

As for the elven lore, I really had nothing else to go on. I felt that the Berenziah books offered as good as a place as any to base my assumptions on. The semi-annual cycles make more sense than monthly ones as well (lucky jerks) but I wasn't going to touch on that subject, lol.



Gahh! Frustration. SO close!

Posted by: Grits Jan 14 2013, 05:48 PM

Yep, this must have been a tough chapter to go through with Kayla. Her emotions felt real and very moving. Onmund’s further betrayal was a stunning twist. I was expecting him to be contrite like Hroggar. Yay for Lydia and the mouth-punching!

Posted by: McBadgere Jan 15 2013, 07:32 AM

Blimey... ...That was heavy...

Yes, I can definately understand why it was difficult to write...I also know it's a difficult thing to write well, but bloody hell, you definately did write it well...*Applauds*...

Every part of this, the fight, the sadness, the despair and self-pity of Onmund (men are not that bad!!...Oh, wait... )...Everything was - in a sense - excellent...

Did I mention I enjoyed this chapter?... ...(In the best way though, I was saddened by her loss and angry with Onmund of course.)...

Brilliant stuff!!...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 16 2013, 06:12 PM

Alright, so this chapter is going to be set into either 2 or three parts. Not sure yet. I've been working almost nonstop on this chapter and due to my excitability, I'm now like 6 chapters ahead, lol!!!

It's also a bit short, but I had to hack off some content and place it elsewhere until I know what to do with it.

I appreciate everyone's input and encouragement. Like I mentioned to Acadian, I like that it's a constructive type of criticism and not outright "YOU SUCK" like on most forums.

Anyways, enjoy!

CHAPTER 10.1

Over the next few weeks, Lydia kept close to me. When night terrors had me keening like a wounded Khajiit, she would crawl into bed with me and sing to me in a soft voice. I often awoke with her next to me, stroking my forehead to keep me calm. When Onmund came by, she would send him away and tell him I wasn't ready for him. She didn't tell me how I got home, and I didn't ask. I didn't care.

Around dusk on Middas I got up and put clothes on. Lydia raised her eyebrows, but said nothing. She watched me, wordlessly, as I pulled an unassuming brown dress over my head and stepped into modest shoes. I braided my auburn hair down my back, grabbed a small coin-purse, and headed out the door.

She followed behind me in silence as I marched up to Arcadia's Cauldron and went in. The medley of smells would assault the nose of someone with no alchemy training, but I could pick out the warm fragrance of flowers, the earthy scent of roots, and the pungent odors of frost salts, vampire ashes, and other dried ingredients. Arcadia's eyes widened with surprise and what I read as delight. She hardly ever got customers, unless it was myself or the occasional traveler.

"Kayla," she greeted me warmly. "I'm so glad to see you feeling better!"

I attempted a smile, knowing I looked like death warmed over. "Thank you, Arcadia. I was wondering if you had any Canis Root?"

Arcadia kept her smile, but her weathered face took on a confused expression. "What would you need Canis Root for?"

"Just to keep my focus while in battle. It's the last ingredient I need, and I haven't been out and about to get some myself." She reluctantly handed me some. "Is it fresh?" I sniffed the root, the earthy smell not quite gone from it. A few grains of dirt fell from the folded cloth she handed over to me. The root felt familiar and slightly weighty in my hands.

"It's as fresh as I can afford. Business hasn't been doing as well since you've been out of commission." She leaned some of her weight on one leg. "So... how have you been feeling? I heard-"

"About my run-in with the vampires? It's alright, I just needed time to heal." I heard Lydia shift her weight in her armor behind me. "That's why I need these ingredients. I'll also need Imp Stool for my health potion."

Arcadia handed me the Imp Stool. "Anything else?"

I shook my head. "I think this will be all. I need to get back into the feel of things. It's been weeks since I've concocted a potion." I held out my hands. "I don't even have stains anymore!" My laugh was stiff and bounced off the wooden walls awkwardly.

"You know, if you want to talk about..." I raised my eyebrow, and she finished, "The vampires, I'm always here. I've had two 'vampire' experiences myself. It's why I gave up on ever..." She trailed off when she noticed that I was glaring at her. "I know what it's like to lose something. Especially something you've hoped for."

"Thank you," I said icily and turned on my heel. Lydia followed me out the door before I slammed it. "How does she know about...?" I trailed off, fighting tears. Lydia sighed.

"Well," she began. "Your husband has made that the sole reason for his drinking. And once Nord men start drinking, it's hard for them to stop." She peered up at me. I stood almost an entire head above her. Or I would have, if I was standing up straight. I averted my eyes, my throat constricting.

"I know," I coughed out the words unintentionally, then cleared my throat. "You forget that I was raised by Nords."

Lydia half-smiled. "I remember the day you walked in and warned us about the dragons. I've never heard a High Elf speak with a Nordic accent before."

I laughed. "You should tag along next time I meet another Altmer. The look of surprise on their faces!" We began to laugh hysterically outside of Arcadia's Cauldron. It was the first time I've laughed since stepping off the carriage in Morthal.


~~~~~~~~~~~


The next morning I awoke alone in my bed. Not having any night terrors, Lydia let me sleep on my own. I poked my flat belly and realized I was getting soft. I felt a brief pang of sadness and a ghost of movement. I pushed it out of my mind and began to dress.

I began to think of where I could go next. I would probably never return to Morthal. Being alive, and Onmund being alive means Movarth's plans never came to fruition and the town isn't cattle. I glanced at the stack of letters on my nightstand as I laced a boot up. All of them opened, all of them addressed to me. I picked up the top one and read it.

"Kayla,

You have my thanks for saving my Hold from the ancient vampire. You are welcome anytime.

-Jarl Idgrod"

Hmmph. I opened another one, and saw it was from Mjoll the Lioness in Riften.

"Kayla,

Mjoll wanted me to send you a letter asking for your help. She remembered that you had mentioned adventuring when you passed through Riften the day Grelod the Kind passed away. Since you did not journey back here like you mentioned, she wanted me to remind you of your promise to retrieve Grimsever.

On a side note, I hope that you can retrieve her sword for her. Mjoll is the most important person in my life, and I want her happy.

Sincerely,
Mjoll and Aerin"

I set the letter aside. Riften. Though Mjoll mentioned her sword several times during my visit, I was busy dealing with, uh...

The rest were nonsense letters from nonsense people. A museum in Dawnstar, a letter announcing a shop opening in Solitude in honor of Jester's Day, even though we are still in First Seed. A love letter from Erik the Slayer. I suppose I should tell him I'm married now, I mused.

I met Erik the Slayer when he was still Erik Hoe-Pusher. His red tresses breathed fire into the air and into my body. The definition in his arms told me he had years of hard work under him, as well as the scars on his arms and calluses when he pressed his hands on the bar. I overheard him talking to his father, begging and pleading with him to allow him to become an adventurer.

I sidled up beside him and offered to train him. He looked like he was going to take me up on it, until he got a look at me. He looked shocked at first, then displeased. As Lydia said, my Nordic accent is astonishing to most, especially considering how thick it is.

"Is this a joke?" He sneered. "I'll wait for a real adventurer to come along."

I narrowed my eyes and said nothing. Even if I was physically attracted to him, his attitude towards my being Altmer disgusted me. I spun on my heel and walked to my room. Rorikstead might have a few pleasant inhabitants, but my time there would be short enough.

Before I could get too much farther into the reverie, I heard Lydia shift in her room. That reminded me that I still needed to brew my potion. I looked at my woefully unstained hands and took the ingredients I had bought from Arcadia to the room beneath the stairs. As the burners heated up, I ground the ingredients. A little water softened up the root to make a decent paste while steeping the mushrooms in hot water and straining them let their essence transfer to the water. The final ingredient was swamp fungal pod. I had Lydia pick it up earlier this week, but I didn't tell her what is was for. She gets really antsy about alchemy.

This poison was going to really stink, but it would be effective. The earthy smell was going to combine with the wet, moldy scent, making my poison smell close to a rancid pond. After crushing it to a pulp, I added all of the ingredients together and lowered the temperature on the burner. The liquid began taking on an odd color, both green and brown. They mixed together to make an awful color, one I could never mistake for any other poison.

Paralyze.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Jan 16 2013, 06:31 PM

What's Kayla going to do with a paralyzation potion? Or did she accidentlly make it.

My suspicion meter is up to 10 right now, and something tells me onmund is going to be at the wrong end of a blade.....

Posted by: mALX Jan 16 2013, 07:08 PM

She didn't accidentally make it, she has something particular in mind. (hopefully to be used on Onmund before she punches him in the mouth).

Posted by: Acadian Jan 16 2013, 07:37 PM

I really enjoyed this update!

The encounter with Arcadia (nope, she's not my sister, lol) effectively reminded us of Kayla’s alchemical skill while displaying her lingering bittersweet sense of loss. Nevertheless, it was good to see her out and even making plans.

I enjoyed Kayla’s running commentary as she sifted through the letters. I’m also glad she took the time to linger a moment and tell us a little about this:
‘I met Erik the Slayer when he was still Erik Hoe-Pusher.’

The alchemy session felt very immersive. I could smell the odors and almost hear the liquids bubbling along. Paralyze. Wow, can’t wait to see what her plans for that are!

Nits -
‘I braided in my hair in a simple braid,’
Two concerns here. Objectively, the first ‘in’ seems like a redundant oversight? Subjectively, I recommend avoiding repetition of the same word (braid in this case) in close proximity. The more distinctive the word, the more this applies.

‘I sniffed the root, the earthy smell not quite gone from it. a few grains of dirt fell from the folded cloth she handed over to me.’
You want to capitalize the ‘a’ that begins the second sentence here of course.

‘...and callouses when he pressed his hands on the bar.‘
Callus and callous can be confused easily enough. Here, you want calluses.

‘...and took the ingredients I had bought from Arcadia the the room beneath the stairs.’
Rather than ‘the the’ here, I’m sure you meant ‘to the’.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 16 2013, 09:55 PM

-shakes fist at my editing method- Acadian, how about you edit my chapters before I post them? XD I fixed them.

She absolutely meant to make that potion. mALX, stop giving my plot away!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 19 2013, 09:02 PM

I apologize for the amount of content in this chapter. I ended up completely re-writing the chapter until it felt right, which rendered what I had previously written useless. I put in a break as soon as possible, but it's way down there. So again, my apologies.

Where we are: Kayla's first day out since losing her child and healing from Movarth's attack. She had gone to Arcadia's Cauldron and made a Paralyze potion.




CHAPTER 10.2


I heard a faint knock on the front door, and heard Lydia stir from her sleep, but she didn't get up. I walked out of the alchemy room to open the front door when it squeaked open slightly. Onmund peeked his face through. He was cleaner than the last time I had seen him. I noted the bruised cheek and mending lip. My heart began to pound harder than a bard's drum. I didn't know if I felt anger or fear. I decided to act on the anger part.

"What are you doing here?" I spat, shaking. "Are you here to insult me some more? Make sure I'm dead so you can take my money? Blame me for killing my child?" I glanced at his busted lip. "And why haven't you gotten that healed? Are you trying to catch a disease?"

Onmund slipped inside and closed the door. "Our child," he said, ignoring the rest of what I said. His normal attire was odd to me. I was so used to him in his warm mage's robes that I forgot how well a plain set of clothing fit him. I wanted to close the cruel distance between us and embrace him. Images of Alva's lips on his kept me where I was.

I felt tears begin to form in my eyes. "Yes, our child," I took in a deep breath, my anger a heavy stone in my gut. "A child WE made TOGETHER. Something that didn't seem to matter to you when you were with-"

"Don't say it!" Onmund shouted. "I know what I did!" Onmund put his face in his hands and took in a sharp breath and let it out. Then another, and another.

"Are you...crying?!" I asked incredulously. He sniffed and wiped his eyes, which were swollen while his nose was tipped in red.

"You ARE crying!"

"Because this has affected me too! Kayla, what you don't seem to understand is that I am a human who makes human mistakes! All I want you to know is, whether you decide to let me back in or not, not all of the things I did were my fault, and the things I did do were despicable."

His green eyes locked onto my own eyes and he took a step forward. "Has Lydia, or anyone, told you what happened?"

"No, and I don't want to kn-"

"Yes you do. You want to know why I treated you how I did, and how you got back here. And I'm going to tell you." He glanced behind me, and when I turned around I saw Lydia standing at the top of the stairs, watching. She crossed her arms over her chest and was waiting for Onmund to either explain or for me to tell her I wanted him out. She was unarmored, but not unarmed.

"I'm listening." I sat down and waited for him to explain. He took his old chair next to me, and that angered me a bit more. He's sitting there like he belongs here! Like nothing happened! I need to calm down. He faced me and leaned forward so I could hear him.

"Alva was-" I felt my nostrils flare at her name, "-the first woman besides you who has ever given me the time of day." I heard Lydia bark a short laugh, and Onmund shot her a look. I felt insulted at this statement, and I knew my face showed it.

"It's a terrible excuse, I know, but... Kayla, you are my first everything. My first sweetheart, my first kiss, the first woman I've lain with. I began to think that maybe, in some way, I am undesirable. It frustrated me." I stared at him. I wanted to take his face in my hands and stroke his stubble again. How can I be so angry at him, so hurt, yet still want to comfort him? To comfort myself with him?

"You stupid man," I heard Lydia murmur. Onmund ignored her.

"At first, with Alva, it was flirting. I enjoyed it. I knew she was just flirting, but it made me feel... different. Like how a rooster struts about in the yard, or how Mikael acts after he beds a woman."

The image of Mikael walking out of a room at the inn like he owned the place gave me a bit more insight than the rooster analogy. His blonde head bobbed in the same proud way, and he did seem to strut a bit, if not a bit wobbly. But there was more than the simple act of mating to keep the species going. Mikael did it for the conquest. For the chase. For bragging rights.

"You know I like to kick roosters. And Mikael."

Onmund was silent for a second. He stared into the cooking fire as he continued.

"I genuinely thought she was going to let me go to sleep after an hour. But we talked for so long, and before I knew it, she leaned over and kissed me. It felt...strange. I can't explain..."

"Like your mind went numb, and you had no focus or thoughts for anything else but her?"

Onmund looked surprised. "Yes! And she whispered to me that she would be back for me the next night, and to not let you touch me. Before I realized what I was doing, I was writing you a letter. I can't remember what it said."

"Neither can I," I lied. I felt relieved that Onmund wasn't acting entirely on his own. What he did act on...

I leaned back in my chair and studied his face. The tears were real. The emotion behind them was questionable. In my life, I've been with a lot of human men. Onmund wasn't the first male I've seen cry. He wasn't the first one to betray me for another woman either. He was, however, the one I expected the least. He began to look uneasy under my glare and shifted in his seat.

"I said some horrible things to you, Kayla. I didn't mean any of them."

"Yes, you did." Onmund flinched. I sat rigid in my chair. Time to take responsibility for my part in this. "You begged me to take you on an adventure, to treat you like a partner instead of a pet-"

"Kayla-"

"-and what did I do? I took you to Morthal. I thought it was safe, and secure, and boring. I thought you would insist on a carriage back home or stay at the inn. I didn't think there would be an ancient vampire plotting to enslave another town."

If Onmund caught my indiscretion, he showed no knowledge of it. Instead, he took one of my hands in his. His mossy green eyes locked onto mine once again. I began to cry.

He pulled me in a tight hug. I could smell the earthy musk he used. My favorite scent of his.

As we pulled away, he brushed away my tears with a thumb, and then lowered his hand so as to firmly hold on to both of mine. He allowed a few tears of his own to fall before he whispered, "I'm sorry."

Vampire magick. It was all vampire magick. The most hurtful parts, anways.

We sat like that for a few moments before I shakily asked how I got back. It turned out that Thonnir followed me to the cave and saw me give Onmund the last Cure Disease potion. He tossed Onmund his own healing potion and went on to kill the remaining three vampires, Alva included. Onmund said he came back with her head. That struck me as odd, since vampires usually turn to ash when slain. I supposed she wasn't old enough quite yet. Thonnir tossed the head onto the cave floor and helped Onmund carry my body out.

Onmund was not skilled in Restoration, this I knew for a fact because while in the College, he would make fun of Colette Marence, the Restoration teacher. He said her voice made him want to gouge his ears out, and she would just torture him by healing them and speaking again. Thonnir carried me back to Morthal, followed by Onmund and learned no one was skilled in Restoration. At my incredulous face, Onmund shrugged and said "That's Nords for you."

Onmund bought as many healing potions as he could afford and kept me alive until the carriage brought us back to Whiterun to Danica. This is where Danica healed me and informed Onmund that I had lost a child. He began to look ashamed at this point. He walked to the Bannered Mare and drank himself into a stupor for the entire length of my recovery. He said he remembered sending Lydia home one evening, and then woke up with a split lip and bruised cheek in his room at the inn.

"And you deserved it," Lydia called from the top of the stairs. Both Onmund and I jumped, having completely forgotten about her.

Onmund's head dropped. "I know," he conceded. "I can sit here and give off a thousand reason as to why I did it, but none of them would justify my behavior nor make it right." He looked me in the eyes again. "I can only hope that you'll forgive me and let me come back. It should have been me comforting you, not Lydia."

My instincts told me he was sincere, but my angry heart said to make him suffer. I figured he had suffered enough, but wasn't sure how I felt about the situation. Things wouldn't be the same. The things he said... eventually I would forgive him, but in the meantime, I would have to put aside a lot of hurt to have him here. His actions with Alva weren't entirely his own, but afterwards?

"You... can come back," I began, and Onmund looked relieved. "But I'm going on another trip. To Riften. Remember when we got married at the temple there?" Onmund nodded. "I met a woman there, Mjoll the Lioness, who said she needed help with something." I took a deep breath before continuing. "Just let me take this trip, let me think about a few things, and when I come back, I'll make my decision on whether..." I trailed off, and Onmund's eyebrows went up.

"On whether you'll take me back for good?"

"Pretty much," I sighed.

He was silent for a moment. He scooted off the end of his chair and kneeled in front of me. Taking my hand in his, he squeezed my much-smaller hands in his larger, paler hands. He looked up at me, slightly squinted his eyes and pursed his lips. He lifted his eyebrows in a sincere manner.

"Kayla-"

"Are you using the puppy-dog look on me? That isn't fair!"

"Kayla, I don't want you traveling alone, and I don't want to be stuck here. If you could take me with you-"

"Because that turned out so well last time?!"

Onmund looked hurt. "Kayla, that's not fair."

I shook my head. "No, after what happened? No! I can't have you getting right back into danger!"

"So, what? Am I supposed to stay here and continue to be your househusband? That is what got us into this situation!"

"No! I almost lost you!"

"And I almost lost YOU!" Onmund surprised all of us with that outburst. I shrank back in my chair. I had never heard him yell at me like that. He crossed his arms and stood up and began to pace.

"You come home, armor covered in blood, reeking of death and mold, sometimes half dead. Gods know what you face every time you step out that door, what type of people you encounter! And you expect me to just sit right there-" He pointed to his chair, "and wait for you, with my thumb up my-"

"Stop," I pleaded. I dug my nails into the chair. Onmund's face became increasingly red until I thought his head was going to pop off.

"And EXPECT me to just be alright with whatever you're doing, whoever you're with, and not say a word? No. I can't do it anymore, Kayla." He plopped back into his chair, holding his head in his hands. I was completely stunned. Lydia was shocked into silence as well, and made no sound.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" He asked me. I couldn't answer. I couldn't even look at him. I stared holes into the floor.

Onmund stood up slowly, sighing. "If you're not going to answer me, then we have nothing to discuss." He turned towards the stairs, glanced up at Lydia, then turned back towards me.

"Could you tell your housecarl to move so I can get my things?"

I nodded my eyes through the tears that fell freely from my eyes. Lydia stepped aside, but not enough to where Onmund could slip by easily. She glared at him, her mouth pulled back in what looked like a snarl. She watched him gather his things while I could only sit there, my eyes running like a stream of shock and despair.

"Onmund... please..." I began to sob. My hands shook as I bent my head forward and clutched my hair.

Onmund came down with an armful of his things; A staff of fire, a small bag of clothes, and his own coinpurse of septims. He turned to look at me before he opened the door, but I didn't look up at him.I stared at the floor, wishing it, willing it, to open up and swallow me whole. He closed the door quietly behind him.

Lydia stood walked down the steps and stood behind me. She put her hand on my shoulder for a moment. When I didn't move and continued to bawl, she patted my shoulder and walked outside. After a few moments I lost the energy to cry and sat there in silence. The gaping chasm in my chest threatened to pull me in and devour me.

You cannot have this...

I cursed the being that wrote my destiny with every ounce of will I could muster up.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Jan 19 2013, 10:46 PM

I still think Onmund is a complete [censored], but its a relief to know that he was drunk when he came and insulted Kayla. Maybe he didn't mean it.

Posted by: Acadian Jan 20 2013, 01:34 AM

I liked your little ‘Where we are’ summary at the beginning. Very helpful to put the reader right back into Kayla’s situation.

Wow. This was powerfully written, with subtle details that fully displayed the raw emotions on display here. To even considering forgiving Onmund was an uphill battle without making Kayla appear a willing doormat – but you absolutely did it! I found myself right inside her head, reluctantly agreeing with her own turbulent, loving confusion.

What appeared to be the seeds for accepting Onmund back then quickly turned as he made the demand to go with her. A demand that I hate to admit had some merit.

Tying the very end right back to Meridia was chilling.

The unpredictable realism, without fairy tale pretense, that you brought to this episode was wonderful. Well done!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 20 2013, 04:50 AM

It absolutely has merit. I find it to be a simple request, but Kayla doesn't. She thinks if she can keep Onmund in that house, he'll be safe. She got a rude awakening when she realized that dangers exist even within city walls. Things are spiraling out of her control, and she doesn't like that.

Posted by: mALX Jan 20 2013, 05:58 AM

That is Lydia's perpetual look, it scared me too.


I'm glad she let him leave though. His excuse for why he dallied with Alva was flimsy and self-serving. The fact that he wanted to blame Kayla for his weakness made him even less of a man.

Kayla's calling all the shots for Onmund's life and thinking she had to "protect Onmund" from danger - that would be un-manning to any male, but the fact that Onmund let her do it shows he wasn't living up to his testosterone anyway.

What I love here is that you have given us real flawed characters to work with, so we can see how life shapes them to overcome those flaws. Loving this story so far! Awesome Write!

Posted by: McBadgere Jan 20 2013, 07:55 AM

Blimey...You really are on a roll with this emotional wringing aren't you?... ...

That was brilliantly done...Espescially as to make both parties' points valid and fair...Even if they're not to the characters...

Blasted Deadra... ...

Aaaamywho, please continue to drag my emotions through the shredder... ...

Ummm...I'm probably wrong in this, but this bit looks slightly eye watering...Although it is still early over here, so that may just be it...

I know what it is that it's saying...I can picture it as if it were on tele...But to read it like that, as it is there...Makes me picture him with three hands for some reason...

Dunno, reading it again...Mayde this would have made it clearer for me...



I dunno...I'm not one to talk... ...

Aaaamywho...

Loved it much muchly...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: mALX Jan 20 2013, 08:22 AM

Huh? I've dated guys that seemed to have eight arms before...

Posted by: McBadgere Jan 20 2013, 08:53 AM

You dated Doctor Octopus?!!

Posted by: mALX Jan 20 2013, 09:16 AM

Yes, him and Squidward Tentacles:

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 20 2013, 04:30 PM

-snort!- Same here, mALX, but it was never during a comforting moment...

I'll fix it, Mcbadgere. Your way makes more sense to me as well.

I'm glad everyone is seeing what I'm trying to put across! I don't like perfect characters with no insecurities or flaws, romances that always end well, especially the "We were meant to be! -slobbers all over face-" romances. Blech. what I hate most is a hero who always overcomes what they're faced with with ease.

Posted by: mALX Jan 20 2013, 05:59 PM

I feel the exact same way about "perfect" characters. Flaws make the character so much more interesting and endearing. And I agree 100% on squishy gooey romances, much rather see them drawn together through time or adversity myself.

You are doing an excellent job!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 20 2013, 06:03 PM

Why thank you! I hope I continue to do so :]

Posted by: jack cloudy Jan 20 2013, 06:53 PM

Dang, it is a regular drama here. Just when things start to look up, they plummet again. That said, I did like how in the end it all came down to the same issue and the same arguments again. Maybe someday, Onmund can convince Kayla he is worth taking along. But till then, he'd better take a vow of celibacy and do some serious training.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 20 2013, 06:58 PM

I've had Onmund as a follower, and he really kicks some butt. If Kayla would give him a chance, she's see how competent he is. But because of how protective she is and worried, that won't happen.

Unless something forces her hand.

-waggles eyebrows in a devilish manner-

Ehhhh? EHHHHHH? No? Oh. XD

Posted by: McBadgere Jan 20 2013, 07:21 PM

What, like this?... ...

Ooooh, and then there's the mystery paralyze potion...

Sorry, forgot to mention the previous post which was also brilliant...Definately intrigued by the potion meself... ...

*Applauds further*...

Posted by: jack cloudy Jan 20 2013, 07:30 PM

Well, the point isn't whether Onmund is a badass or sucks in combat. The point is indeed that he needs to convince Kayla he is badass enough to stay alive and all. The whole training thing might help a little with that. And besides, brushing up on fighting in a controlled environment and slowly ramping up to the real thing is never a bad thing. Just slinging spells at a wall in an empty room for a few days is nice, but battles are rarely so peaceful.


Knowing how to cast 'volcano on demand V2.3' doesn't do you much good if you can't focus on your fingerwiggling while someone is swinging an axe at you.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 20 2013, 07:35 PM

-snort!!!!- Yeah, if she would just stop being such a control freak and let him prove himself, she'd see he's good. But on the other end, what training has he had? Instead of sitting around the house while she went off, he could have been training. But he didn't. So, I mean... she feels if he were serious about it, he would have done something more productive towards letting him go with her.

Posted by: Grits Jan 21 2013, 01:37 AM

I love what you’re doing with your characters, Elisabeth. I’d like to give them both a hug and a smack, so I’d say you have me involved in their lives!! So often the story ends at the wedding, but sometimes that’s where the real trouble begins.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 21 2013, 05:57 AM

I'm glad you're feeling the feels, Grits! Consider it payback for your story making me bawl like a baby XD

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 22 2013, 07:48 AM

Okiday, y'all, I PROMISE there will be some fighting soon, but Kayla is an emotional being... if you can't tell. She has to get back on her feet first before doing anything, lol.

CHAPTER 11

"Sometimes the thing you've been waiting for is snatched from you. You pretend to move on, but secretly you keep hoping, leaving doors open, loose ends untied, praying that what you want most will find its way to you. You smile, nod, and lie to peoples' faces. You accept the sword thrust into your hands, and view every obstacle as one step closer to your desire. Everyone trying to kill you is another evil being trying to stop you from getting what you want, what you need, to survive.

Then, you feel as if you've reached the end. Where is your reward? Where is what you want? Where is the money, the fame? Where is the man or woman you've fought for? Where is the family, the comfort of obscurity? You spend most of your life fighting, waiting, hoping, praying, and for what?

Some say something greater. I do not feel that way. "


I put down my quill and stare at what I wrote. When was the last time I had written? I wondered. I turned back a page and read, and when I did, a note fell out. I glanced at the page before opening the note.

"I have never felt such warmth from a man as I have from him. One glance tells me all I need to know, that he cares for me like no one else has before. He slipped me another note during practice today, and enchanted it to whisper my name. I am keeping it folded in this journal to remind me that I AM loveable, even to humans.

To think I grew up listening to the lies of my adoptive parents, that I wasn't good enough for a Nord man, that I would never find anyone like me. Onmund is more like me than anyone I've met. He too, was discouraged from magick, and though he still has his family, he knows what it's like to be alone."

I opened the note, and I heard Onmund's voice whisper gently, "Kayla..." I closed my journal before allowing the ink to dry, putting the note back between the pages. I slammed the journal so hard against the table, it skidded and hit the wall, and knocked the ink bottle over.

I swore, grabbing a cloth, wetting it in the washbasin in my room and scrubbing the ink. All I accomplished was spreading the dark ink around on the unfinished wood. With a growl of frustration I threw the cloth across the room before kicking at the table. The table shifted slightly, the heavy wood popping my toe.

I screeched in pain and fell on my bed. Lydia leapt into my room as I started sobbing. She pried my hands away from my bare foot and examined it. I continued to bawl like a child, even as she stared at me.

"Kayla, you're fine. Your foot isn't even broken."

"BUT MY HEART IS!" I wailed.

"For the love of- for a woman raised by Nords, you sure are the weakest thing I've ever seen!"

I sniffed and glared at her. "I am not weak!" I spat, sitting up on the bed and yanking my foot from her grasp. "I have all of these emotions, and don't know how to deal with them."

Lydia looked at me straight in the eyes and grabbed my shoulders. "How do you think Uthgerd deals with her emotions? How do you think Aela deals with hers? How do I deal with mine?"

She shook me gently. "This world will keep on moving whether you are in pain or not, whether your emotions are good or bad. You need to stop blubbering like an infant and woman up!"

She let me go. "It's been two weeks now. All you have done is sit around, moping, reading trashy novels and eat sweetrolls." She poked my belly. "You are getting soft. The fiercest fighting elf I've ever met besides Irileth is crying over a boy!"

Lydia faced me on my bed and took my shocked face into her hands. "Do you know what Nord women do when they are heartbroken?"

I shook my head. "I've never stayed around anyone long enough to find out."

Lydia grinned. "Put on your most comfortable set of clothing. You and I are going to have some fun."

~~~~~~~~

"No."

Lydia pulled harder at my arm. "Kayla, it will be fine. He won't be in there. Besides, there's someone I want you to meet." Lydia gave a final tug on my arm and I relented, allowing her to pull me to The Bannered Mare. Along with the usual patron, the place was filled with those who usually didn't frequent the inn. Hulda's usually stern expression was brightened with a smile.

That was odd enough, but was was even stranger was the man twirling her around in the middle of the main room. Her blonde hair looked matted with sweat, and her blue eyes were lit up with enjoyment. The man, wearing a black robe, caught my eye and winked before twirling a willing Hulda around in a circle, then leaning her back and planting a kiss on her cheek. She giggled and bowed when the patrons began to clap.

As Hulda took her normal spot behind the bar, the man walked up to us, grinning from ear to ear. He greeted Lydia with a kiss on the cheek and eyed me up and down.

"Is this the friend you told me about, Lydia?" His brown eyes glittered in the firelight. Up close, I could tell he was a Breton, something that explained his litheness on the dance floor and the mage robes. His strong cheekbones weren't hidden by a burly beard, that should have been my third clue. The air about him told me he was a strict magick user. I supposed that was what kept his dark brown hair looking smooth and strangely dry from sweat.

He took my hand in one of his and gently touched it with his lips. Warmth spread up my arm and into my gut. Was he using a charm spell on me? I quickly pulled my arm from his grasp. That didn't seem to bother him.

"My name is Sam Guevenne, Conjurer and Breton scholar." He bowed deep. "Lydia said you've been in a fog the past few months, and are in need of some fun." He leaned in close and whispered something to Lydia, who blushed and shook her head. He shot me a disappointed look but it was quickly replaced with another easy grin.

"Lydia says you're more of a one-on-one kind of girl. A shame," His eyes darted between Lydia and I appreciatively,"but I can work with that."

He motioned to a nearby table, and we sat. Mikael began playing his lute as the patron settled back down into the usual murmur of quieted voices. Sam sat across from Lydia and I, leaning back into his chair. As it dawned on me what he meant about one-on-one, I began fidgeting. My leg bounced up and down and I sorely wished I had brought a dagger. Although if he tries anything, a fireball down his pants might cure any ideas he may have.

Sam seemed to sense my uneasy nature. Either that, or he saw my eyes look longingly at the exit, my bouncing knee, and what was probably an owlish loook of anxiety on my face. He produced a conjured mug and slid it towards me.

"You look like you could use a drink. Here. My own special brew." His eyes glinted dangerously at that last statement, and my own eyes narrowed.

"No thank you, I don't drink," I lied.

Sam's eyes shot up in surprise. "You were born and raised in Skyrim, and you don't drink? Not even wine?"

Lydia elbowed me in the ribs. "Kayla, I've had a sip, and it's delicious."

I sighed and pulled the mug towards me. I sniffed it. It seemed alright. I began to put the mug towards my lips when I noticed the grin on Sam's face. It wasn't quite malevolent, but it definitely wasn't a grin that would be on the lips of someone who was safe, either. I put the mug down and slid it back.

"I'm sorry, but I don't trust magically inclined beverages."

Sam shrugged.

"Alright, more for me." He grabbed the mug and chugged it, wiped his mouth, then let out a loud belch. Lydia stifled a laugh. I looked at her in surprise. She scooted her chair closer to him and suddenly I felt like a third wheel.

"I, uhm, am going to go talk to Hulda. See what I've missed." Neither one of them looked up or acknowledged my departure. They were immersed in flirty glances and close whispers before I could even speak.

I sat down at the bar and before I could ask Hulda about any gossip, I heard my name.

"Hello, Kayla. I didn't expect you to be in here."

I turned around at the familiar voice.

"Hello, Onmund."

Posted by: mALX Jan 22 2013, 04:42 PM

This is the most powerful chapter to date, immensely immersive into Kayla's mind. The whole chapter could be quoted, but this in particular is so stunning I couldn't leave without quoting it:

This was your most tremendous write to date, I absolutely loved this chapter!

Posted by: King Of Beasts Jan 23 2013, 03:40 AM

More like Sanguine, daedric prince of debauchery I sense trouble....

I don't think the encounter with Onmund will go well either, but I'll find out next chapter, eh?

Posted by: McBadgere Jan 23 2013, 04:54 AM

I absolutely loved that section in the house...Such wonderful writing...So sad, and heartbreaking...Loved it!!... ...

And then she went to the pub and got hit on by a Daedric Lord...Pfft...Yeah, we've all been there...*Does the snail fingers salute*... ...

Loved the way Kayla managed to sidestep Sammie-boy's advances...That was cool...

Also made me laugh that while Kayla is a "One on one kinda girl." The suggestion is, of course, that Lydia isn't necessarily so... ...

It'll be interesting to see how she deals with Onmund...

I'm loving this story so much...

Excellent stuff...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 23 2013, 05:54 AM

Posted by: Acadian Jan 23 2013, 05:19 PM

Some wonderful time spent with Kayla’s thoughts, doubts and insecurities. A note enchanted to whisper Kayla’s name! Wow, how romantic is that? I simply loved the ink mishap that you used to transition from her rumination. And the temper toe tantrum that followed.

Lydia’s stern counsel was so spot on and insightful, but I had to laugh at her unwise prescription of a threesome with Smooth Sam. Even if he can conjure his own drinks.

And another encounter with Onmund along the rocky road of a relationship she has with him.

Couple small nits -
’ I put down my quill and stare at what I wrote.’
You want stared vs stare of course.

‘That was odd enough, but was was even stranger...’
I’m sure you wanted ‘what’ instead of the first ‘was’ here.

Posted by: SubRosa Jan 24 2013, 12:11 AM

I finished the first chapter. You certainly start your tale out well. One of the things I learned from my creative writing classes (and from reading books on writing) is to always start your story with something that will grab the reader. Your first page is like a hook, you need to set it firmly in the fish (reader's) mouth and reel them in. Otherwise they might become bored and put your book down. Well, you got my attention, and in a good way, I am not putting this down now!

Kayla is certainly an interesting character, she is fun, has an obvious sense of duty, and seems to be pretty good at what she does.

Since you asked for feedback, my first thought after finishing the first chapter is that I have no idea what she is (as in, is she an elf, or old, or young, a red-head, a mohawk punk grrl, etc... That makes it a little hard to picture her in my head, since I do not know what to picture! Maybe you will be filling us in with those things in the following chapters I have not gotten to yet. If so, then no worries, I will get there. If not, you might consider working in some of those things about K.

Now on to some steam of consciousness style things I noticed when I was reading (I always comment while I read, otherwise I forget what I was going to say).

You're dead. Stop acting like you're alive!
This was very cute!

Potema has called me to her side. When she spoke, my vision grew fuzzy. I wasn't expecting her to use her magicka to contact me. I'll have to steel myself for any future contact.
I liked how you made the implication here that Potema's speech was telepathic, rather than physical. It is a nice piece of world-building.

I will never understand why Skyrim has so many caves. How has it not collapsed from under them?
Again, very tongue in cheek. I love Kayla's ironic sense of humor.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 24 2013, 12:29 AM

Why thank you! At some point I'll be going back and revamping the chapters, since I've seen my writing weaknesses and plan on strengthening them. At first, I was working with the assumption that everyone knew where I was and what I was doing because they had done that quest, but felt that was a bit lazy and needed to put more detail in there.

I really really appreciate you stopping by and reviewing! :]

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Jan 24 2013, 12:49 PM

I caught up! I caught up on the parts I missed!

They were pretty good, all in all. I'll admit that Kayla was kind of pushing against my Maximum Tolerable Broodosity Threshold in these last few chapters but I'm pleased to see Lydia knocked some sense into her. I'll admit that I was a tad disappointed that Kayle decided to turn down Sam's offers of a good night, though I admit that while I would find a hungover Kayla blearily stumbling across Skyrim trying to work out what the hell happened last night absolutely hilarious, it would be a pretty major shift in the story's tone.

And oh look, Onmund's here. This is going to be interesting...

Posted by: Grits Jan 24 2013, 05:50 PM

Oh, I love the whispering note!

Yay for Lydia calling it like she sees it. She is a friend who would tell you when there’s lipstick on your teeth (maybe even while you’re hitting on the same guy).


Whoa, or maybe she’s the friend who accidentally gets you in a threesome with a daedric prince. Either way, she sounds like a keeper!

Kayla’s thoughts in the beginning provided so much insight into her. What a great chapter!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 25 2013, 02:28 AM

Wow, I must not have been paying attention. I didn't see these reviews!

Yeah, Kayla was getting on my nerves too. But she's out and about! Although threesomes aren't her style. She doesn't know he's Sanguine, but she could definitely tell there was something up in that "special brew" Sam tried to give her.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 26 2013, 07:42 AM

I haven't been working on this too much... real life being a real drag sometimes... work, children...animals. I haven't decided which one of those my husband is yet.

Anways...

Where we are: Lydia convinced Kayla to visit the local inn, The Bannered Mare, after getting tired of her moping. She met Sanguine, disguised as a Breton mage named Sam Guevenne. After turning down an evening with him Onmund finds her.




I shifted uncomfortably in the bar stool. Hulda raised her eyebrows and pretended to search the bar.

"I think there's a clean mug around here somewhere... Ah, nope. Guess I'll look in the cellar." She disappeared quickly before I could beg her to stay.

I couldn't look at Onmund. He sat next to me, his shoulders tense. He's wearing the robes I got him, I thought. The corner of my mouth twitched, a small smile threatening to spread. I then remembered the circumstances we faced and the chasm threatened to swallow me whole. I remembered Lydia's words and found a foothold.

"So, how are you doing?" I inquired. I kept my face as neutral as possible, hands in my lap, sitting as straight as I could. I wished I had a drink to sip nonchalantly. Onmund's head bobbed, his face neutral as well.

"Good, good." He said. "I'm doing well. I've been-" He was cut off by a sudden roar of the crowd. We turned to see what the commotion was, and see Lydia dancing with Sam, her brown hair already gistening with sweat while Sam's was completely in place. Sam had her twirling like a child's top toy, her face alight with glee and excitement. Onmind continued over the laughter and clapping.

"I've been speaking with Farengar Secret-Fire," he shouted. The next thing he said was drowned out by more laughter and clapping, and I waved him closer. He leaned in, practically shouting in my ear.

"He's been helping me with my enchanting skill, and I've learned a few things from him. I'm still not that good, but I'm a bit better than I was before." I remembered the enchanted note and felt the chasm open wider.

"That's great!" I shouted. Lydia was now dancing with Farkas, a hulking man from the Companions, his twin brother Vilkas laughing at his clumsy footing. I heard him shout an insult about how his footing while dancing was almost as bad as his footwork while fighting, but I couldn't laugh. Onmund's eyes caught mine, and I felt the chasm open wider with the yearning I felt.

My hand twitched to touch his, but I reeled in the impulse and looked away from Onmund. I began to fidget with the stitching on the hem of my shirt. Onmund sighed.

"Kayla-"

Another roar from the crowd interrupted Onmund, and he leaned in and shouted, "Can we go somewhere quiet? I have something to say to you."

I grinned half-heartedly."What, you don't like it in here?" Onmund handsome face cracked a smile.

"Come on. Come to my room."

It wasn't too much quieter in his room, but we didn't have to shout. It was too cold for me to stand outside anyways, I reasoned. I knew it wasn't the smartest idea to be alone with Onmund, especially with how fresh the heartbreak was in my heart.

Onmund's room looked like it was well lived-in. Dirty clothes occupied a corner by the large wooden door, books and notes were scattered on the table against the wall on the farthest side of the room, and the bed was unmade. Sketches of soul gems adorned the wall above the table with notes scribbled on them, some with ink splatters, some with smudges and smears.

A small glint caught my eye. A silver dagger sat on the bedside table, along with a clay cup of water. I picked up the dagger, twirling it in my fingers. I looked closely at the blade.

"This is enchanted," I remarked. I pressed the tip of the blade against the area above my knuckle and made a small cut, barely enough to draw blood. Onmund's eyes nearly bugged out of his head.

"WHAT are you doing?!" He made a grab for the blade, and I ducked under his arm.

"I'm seeing what the enchantment is! Calm down!"

"You could have asked!"

I felt a bit tired, and slightly weaker, then rejuvinated again. "You made a vampire blade?" I asked. I set the bade back on the nightstand, a little less than gently.

"I don't call it a vampire blade," Onmund sniffed. "I just call it 'The First Weapon I Have Ever Enchanted Alone.' Or Fwihea for short." He pronounced it "fweh."

I stared at him. "That's the dumbest-" A loud clamour in the hallway interrupted me, and shortly died down.

"This place is insane!"

"It usually isn't like this," Onmund agreed. He sat on the bed, the neatest place in the room. I sat on the chair next to the larger table and glanced at his notes. Onmund stood up and quickly neatened the clutter. I held my breath to avoid smelling the musk he used, and sat stiffly in my chair as he leaned over me.

Once Onmund sat back down I folded my hands in my lap.

"You wanted to discus something?" My voice sounded a little bit too bright. Onmund cleared his throat.

"Yes, uhm," He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them back up, his green eyes looked me in the eye... no, more like my cheek. He looked a bit nervous. He swallowed.

"I've been thinking," What seemed like a rehearsed speech became a rant with the words run together. He stood back up and began pacing in front of me, gesturing emphatically as he talked.

"I've thought hard about it, and think you're right, I don't need to be adventuring with you, maybe I should be focusing on the skills I need to enhance instead of thinking the ones I have are enough, like my enchanting skill, because that could bring in a lot of money and maybe I wouldn't be so bored at the house, and besides I miss you and maybe if I acted a little more serous about being useful out there, you'd think I was good enough."

He took a deep breath, panting. He waited for me to answer, staring nervously at me. I could only blink in surprise. I realized my eyebrows were almost to my hairline and lowered them, clearing my throat.

"So... uhm..."

Onmund sat down on his bed. "I know how it sounds, but just listen. Once I get back from the College-"

"Oh, whoa, wait, what?" I jumped up from my chair. "You're going back to the College to do this?"

Onmund sighed, and stood up. In two strides he reached me and took my trembling fists in his hands. He looked up at me, his mossy green eyes full of...

"Kayla, I love you. That has not changed. And because I love you, I want to be with you and protect you. The only way to do that is become better than what I am."

"But you-"

At that, I was cut off by a banging on the door. A gravelly male voice shouted, "Hey you two!" He slurred his words terribly. "I jess wan' -hic- see if-" The rest was inaudible, and there was such a ruckus I suspected he had fallen asleep against the door. I turned towards Onmund.

"We will continue this discussion tomorrow."

"There is no discussion, Kayla. I'm going. I don't understand why you won't let-"

Another crash interrupted. Already furious, I flung the door open and roared.

"WHAT IS GOING ON OUT HERE?"

Drunken bodies lay on the wooden floor of the inn, most of them half clothed, and the rest were fully nude. I saw parts of people I had known for years that I had never thought of, and never wanted to think of again. I saw Lydia propped in a corner, half-clothed with a vacant glazed look on her face. She had a man and a woman on either side of her, both of them in different states of undress.

I could feel the revulsion travel up my throat at the site of the townsfolk. Onmund came out behind me. Most of the revelry had died down, but a few stragglers kept up the festivities, drinking, belching, and romancing. Sam included. The first thing I noticed was that he was fully nude. The second...

"Dear gods, how do you walk with that?!"

I clamped my hand over my mouth and turned bright red, embarrassed at my outburst. I heard Onmund choke behind me, and turned around to face him. I felt hot embarrassment rush into my face as Onmund's face turned green. The image of Sam's not-so-little "Sam" looking freely about would haunt me for the rest of my natural life.

"Please put that away. I can't... how am I supposed to yell at you with that looking at me?"

Sam laughed behind me, and Onmund huffed.

"What do you feed that thing, anyways?" Onmund shot.

"Kayla!" Sam called. "Look! It's as flexible as a Khajiit's tale!"

I buried my head in Onmund's robe, fighting the urge to look and to laugh from embarrassment. I never thought of myself as a prude, but I'm no voyeur. The sight of others naked usually didn't bother me, unless they were... well...

Onmund got angry. He planted his hands on my shoulders. "Stop taunting my WIFE, Sam!"

I heard Sam laugh behind me. "Oh, you can indulge in adultery, but your wife can't appreciate another man?"

Onmund growled.

"Just conjure yourself a loincloth... if you can find one with enough cloth!" I shouted into Onmund's robe. I felt a shudder of magick, and cautiously turned around. Sam was fully clothed in the unassuming black mage robes he had on when we met earlier that evening. He had the same easy grin on his face, and his eyes sparkled with amusement.

"Aw, what's the matter, elf? A little prudish, are we? Lydia was right, you do need some more fun."

"Come on, Onmund, we're leaving." I grabbed Onmund's arm and started to pull him along. Sam chuckled as we passed him.

"You don't have to leave. I can loosen you up really well." He put an arm on my shoulder. I let go of Onmund and aimed a punch straight at Sam's mouth. I struck air. I stumbled forward and noticed my complete lack of clothing.

"Nice tattoo." Sam quipped from behind me. I covered myself frantically with my hands and looked incredulously at him.

"Give me back my clothing! You sore-sucking festering piece of-"

Sam chuckled. "Been too busy to groom?"

"Shut-"

"I see you're getting a bit soft in the midsection."

"Vile scamp fu-"

"Calm down, those things could cut glass!"

Onmund stared at me.

"ONMUND! Cover me up!"

Onmund snapped back into reality. He quickly rushed over and wrapped his arms around me. Sam was bent over, howling with laughter. I shot him the most venomous look I could while clinging to Onmund.

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Unlikely." Sam straightened up and wiped tears from his eyes. I began to pull Onmund along, inching towards the door. Sam shrugged.

"I think I've had enough fun for tonight." He waggled his eyebrows devilishly.

And with that, Sam vanished in a shimmer of magick.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Jan 26 2013, 06:00 PM

Onmund is still on my 'I'm going to feed you to the bears' radar, but he's sort of.....redeemed himself in this chapter.

Sanguine was hilarious He's my second favorite daedric prince, and you've really showed his mischievous personality. Well done -claps-

My comment shouldn't be complete without a:

Good Job

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 26 2013, 06:11 PM

Call me a party-pooper, but Sanguine really irritates me, He's all "PARTAAAAAY! WHOOOOOOO!" and I'm like "I have work in the morning, go to bed!"

And he's all "NO! You need to get drunk!"

And I'm all

"Shaddup, I have to sleep! Now I'm wide awake! Jerk!"

Then he drags me out of bed and tosses me in the middle of a 9 person orgy, hands me a bottle of vodka and tells me good luck.

He KNOWS I'm allergic to vodka!!!

Posted by: mALX Jan 26 2013, 07:40 PM

You brought Sam "Sanguine" to life in this - really showed his personality tremendously! Awesome write!

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Jan 27 2013, 01:24 AM

Well the other nine of us are trying to enjoy the orgy, you know.

It's good to see Onmund and Kayla are willing to talk about things like adults, but I'll admit that the real star of the chapter was Sanguine; he just kept making me laugh throughout that chapter ("Look! It's as flexible as a Khajiit's tail!") but at the same time he still managed to be faintly sinister. Very nicely done.

Posted by: King Coin Jan 27 2013, 02:28 AM

"I just call it 'The First Weapon I Have Ever Enchanted Alone.' Or Fwihea for short."
Creative! I do think it’s kind of strange that she’s willing to find out what the enchantment is by using it on herself! Good thing it wasn’t a blade with properties like Mehrunes’ Razor!

Lydia’s certainly in a better mood than she normally is.

"Kayla!" Sam called. "Look! It's as flexible as a Khajiit's tale!"
This just gets worse and worse!

Posted by: McBadgere Jan 27 2013, 04:36 AM

What I thought was most interesting about it was Kayla's hypocrisy in it all...She wants to go get back out there, which caused the row which led to her letting Onmund go, yet now she's going to complain and stamp her feet if he wants to go back to the College to improve his abilities?... ...Blimey...*Tuts*...Women!!... ...

An excellent chapter with many a raised one proudly on display...Eyebrows!!!...Raised eyebrows!!...Blimey... ...

Fantastic write...Brilliant stuff...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 27 2013, 05:18 AM

Welcome to the mind of a woman. We want you to be a man, but you should just do it magically! XD

Posted by: McBadgere Jan 27 2013, 10:14 AM

What, like us magically knowing what to buy you for Valentine's or somehow magically remembering when our anniversary is?... ...

Posted by: Acadian Jan 27 2013, 01:48 PM

You captured the busy bar very effectively, right down to having to lean closer to hear a conversation. I’m glad you lingered a moment to describe Onmund’s room – it helped show a bit about him and reinforced the distance between them. And another conversation that makes some progress. . . or not, because it was cut off by the remnants of Sam’s orgy. I see Sanguine is having plenty of fun with the same ‘clothes-be-gone’ spell he issued out to intrepid adventurers in Oblivion.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 27 2013, 05:28 PM

Hey, if you LISTENED to us... XD

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Jan 30 2013, 07:48 AM

I've got the next chapter written up.

Good news. ^

Bad news is it's almost 3,000 words, and I've trimmed all of the fat not important to the story or scenery.

I can Post all of it at once, or split it in half and post about 1500 in one post, then post the next part a few hours later.

Or, The first post would be about 546 words, which is where the first break in the story is, then the rest in the second post.

The choice is up to y'all. I know a few of y'all like wordy postings, but a lot of y'all don't. I knew some readers get bored with a giant wall of text. Hence why I'm leaving it up to y'all.

Posted by: SubRosa Jan 30 2013, 01:39 PM

I suggest splitting into roughly equal halves, and posting them several days apart, if not longer. I typically make a post that size once week. It does not hurt to have a few posts sitting in the can. That can give you something to put up even when you have not been writing for one reason or another. It also helps people keep caught up with all of the fics they are trying to read.

Posted by: mALX Jan 31 2013, 03:03 AM

Gotta agree with SubRosa on this, if there is any good stopping point midway to cut it into two posts it is always better than a wall of words.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 1 2013, 04:07 AM

I tried splitting it into 2 parts, and it failed. So I split it into 3. I will post one part tonight, one tomorrow morning, then one at the end of the day tomorrow. That way it doesn't feel like I've interrupted the story so much.

Give me a bit more time to edit and quadruple-check that everything is okay. I've been a bit sick lately, so I'm not 100% sure everything is good.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 1 2013, 07:13 AM

Previous Chapter Summary: After being convinced by Lydia to out instead of moping, they both went to The Bannered Mare, where they met Sam/Sanguine. Kayla met Onmund at the bar at the inn. After heading to his room to talk, the commotion made Kayla angry after Onmund told her he was leaving Whiterun. Checking on the noise, Sam promptly removed her clothing via magick and humiliated her.



Chapter... I don't know what chapter this is.


Onmund sheltered me from the nips of the Skyrim chill with his robe. When my teeth bagan to chatter, he didn't say a word. He didn't tease me for being susceptible to the cold, nor did he tease me about the goosebumps on my body. When we got to our house, I quickly dashed inside and up the steps.

Onmund stoked the fire while I changed into my nightgown and dove under the covers. Once the house was toasty, he climbed the steps slowly. He sat on the bed next to me.

After a moment, I spoke. "So you're really leaving?"

Onmund shifted his weight. "I am. But not for a few days now. After what happened tonight, I'm afraid to leave you alone."

I turned to him. "Really? You're looking out for me? You're not just afraid I'll leave you for Sam's huge..." I shuddered with disgust.

He smiled. "Sam could get the crowd rowdy. I don't think Sanguine himself knows how to get folks in a good mood like he does." He scooted closer to me, and his green eyes were serious. "But that aside, I want to make sure you're alright."

He leaned closer. "You think you're strong, but there are some things you can't protect yourself from. People like Sam are one of them. They'll do whatever they want with no regard for anyone else. I want to keep you safe from that, or at least stand beside you when you face it."

My eyes watered. "Okay."

That's all I could say. What else was there to say? Onmund was leaving, and he was set in his decision. He wanted to become a better mage to protect me. And he was right. As strong as I've become, sometimes I can't protect myself. Just because I'm terrified of losing Onmund, doesn't mean he isn't terrified of losing me.

He laid beside me, and I put my head on his chest and snuggled close to him. I listened to his heart for a few moments. Suddenly, it sped up.

"Kayla..." Onmund began. "Are we going to talk about... our argument a few weeks ago?"

"What is there to talk about? I treated you-"

He shushed me. "Stop. Kayla. Just stop. That's not what I meant." When I looked at him curiously, he swallowed.

"You... said... 'another town.' Was Morthal not the first town you've seen...?"

My throat felt dry. He was treading dangerously close to what I had kept hidden. The lies of why I was terrified of vampires, of why I never spoke of my family. Why I kept him so close.

"So, I didn't know Lydia swung both ways," My tone was too bright. I shrugged. "I don't care, but it's surprising t-"

"Kaylaaaa." Onmund drew out the last syllable of my name impatiently. He tapped my forehead gently, then sat up. I faced him, sitting on the bed. He gave me a serious look.

"Tell me."

"It's ugly."

"Tell me."

"It's horrifying."

He took my face in his hands, and locked his mossy green eyes onto mine.

"Tell me."

"There's something you should know first. My real name isn't Kayla. It's Nisse."

"Is that a Nord name or an Altmer name?"

"I don't know..."

"Tell me the rest, love."

I took a deep breath and readied myself for the long tale.

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 1 2013, 01:53 PM

Heh...Nips... ...*Slaps wrist*...Grow up man!!...

Aaaamywho...Excellent chapter...They're talking all nice at the mo...It'll be interesting to see how he feels at the end of her tale, now knowing she's not who she said she was...And all that...

Hah...Excellent deflection... ...

Brilliant stuff, as ever...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...


EDIT!!...Ooooh, normally people drop the "H" in words...You've added one to "Our house" towards the start of the chapter...Not a big thing...Just saying...Is all...

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Feb 1 2013, 04:07 PM

Ooh, backstory time!

I don't have tons to say on this chapter, seeing as it's kind of short and concerned only with buildup and so forth, but I enjoyed reading and you've certainly got me interested in the next chapter.

And this is the bit where the man just in front of the stage holds up the sign saying 'irony'.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 1 2013, 06:31 PM

Here's the second part :] I apologize that the story is declining in substance. I'm trying to make it good :/

Where we are: Kayla is spilling secrets about her past, part one.



I sifted through the dirt with my tiny grubby hands, looking for any new plants I could find. While the other children played in the streams, and dared each other to walk as far away from the village as they could before running screaming back into the safety of the guardsmen's sights, I was digging in the dirt.

The town was small, mostly farming, with one blacksmith's shop. I had strong arms and legs from helping with digging the plants, hoeing, and pulling weeds. But I was still slight, and didn't grow muscles like the other kids. I was told it was due to me being an elf. Our frames were smaller than humans.

An old Breton man stood outside his shop. He had only been in the town for a few weeks, but his potions of stamina for the farmers as well as his remedies for sleepless infants, monthly visitors for the women and his mixtures to keep said monthlies coming, made him a welcome asset to the town. I caught his eye, and he ushered me towards him with a wave of his hands.

"My, my, child you're filthy! Come here, little elf, let me look at you."

I held out my grimy hands to the grey-haired Breton, his wrinkled face pulled into a look of shock by his bushy white eyebrows. I kept my eyes averted, staring at the man's shoes.

"What's that in your mouth?" He asked, staring at the green stem poking from between my tiny lips. I quickly pulled the stem from my mouth and hid it behind my back.

"Were you eating a flower?"

I nodded. "The purple and blue ones taste bad, but the red ones make me feel sick. They smell pretty though." I stuck my hand into the pocket of my dress and showed him the contents, naming what they do.

I pulled out what I now know to be a White Cap mushroom and said "This makes the tingling in my fingers feel funny. Don't tell Ma, but I can make fire in my hands." I gave him a serious look and whispered, "She says that's bad."

A small, impressed smile crept onto his face as I continued. There was something else in his eyes, but my younger self never realized what it was.

"This makes me sleepy, people don't notice me so good with this, and this," I proudly held up my most prized possession, "Makes me feel not so cold. Ma says because I'm an elf and not a Nord, I get colder than they do." I shrugged. " I don't know what that means."

The old Breton man seemed to shift his demeanor at this statement. I mistook his head-shaking and mutterings of "Tis a shame," as me doing something wrong, and wanted to keep the man's attention.

I pulled out a dead bee and held it up to him. "I don't feel sleepy if I eat this. Ma says it's cuz the stinger's in my tongue."

A look of comprehensive horror crossed the old man's face. He shrieked, "You eat these?!"

I slunk back, feeling as if I had done wrong. "I only ate it once. I'm sorry!" I ran, dropping the ingredients I had clutched in my hand, including the Frost Mirriam. The old Breton man shouted after me. Tears streaming from my eyes, I ran behind the shop to behind the town tavern and cried.

My Ma found me and scolded me for being there.

"There are drunks who might mistake you for a stump. Stay away from there." She pulled me up by my hand and knelt down.

"Why the tears?" She thumbed away the tears on my face, and I wiped the snot on my sleeve.

"I made Old Bear angry."

"You made who what now?"

"Old Bear." I pointed to the alchemy shop a few buildings away.

Ma laughed. "You mean Albert." She pronounced it 'al-bear.' "Unless you swiped a potion, or set something on fire-" Her eyes grew wide. "You didn't set his shop on fire, did you?"

I shook my head vigorously. "I showed him the stuff I picked up. He got mad when I told him about the bees." I knitted my eyebrows together. "You know about the fire?"

She drew me in for a hug. "Of course I do, Nisse."

Despite the filth I was covered in, Ma always gave me hugs. She was a strong, shapely woman, with lines on her face and ample hips and stomach from bearing 2 children. Her salt and pepper hair spoke of age before her time, though she was in her 30's, she had 3 children to tend to as well as a husband to feed. She never shorted me on love, though.

We walked, her pale hand in my small tan one, to our house. My grip tightened as we approached. Uncle Njal would be in there. She returned the squeeze reassuringly and planted a quick kiss to my cheek before opening the door.

I kept my head down, ignoring the angry stare from Uncle Njal. He said nothing to me, but spoke to Ma.

"Was it playing in the dirt again?"

"Njal!" My mother exclaimed.

I snickered, as always, at my uncle's unfortunate name. This caught his attention, and he stood up.

"Silence, you disgusting knife-ear!"

I bolted to the room I shared with my two sisters, tears spilling from my eyes. I threw myself on the straw bed I shared with my younger sister, covering my ears against the screaming match between my Ma and her brother.

"I TOLD you to stop talking to her like that! She is-"

"An ELF! She isn't even human, and you insist on treating her like one!"

"She is my CHILD!"

"You should have left her to die in the cold!"

"That's IT! That's the last straw!"

I began to sob into the scratchy pillow. My Ma threw my uncle out of the house and told him to never come back. I heard her bolt the door after slamming it. She tapped on the wooden door to my and my sibling's room and opened it a crack. She saw me sobbing on the bed and sat next to me, patting my back.

"There, there," she soothed. "He's gone."

"Why -hiccup- does he -hiccup- hate me so much, Ma? What did I do?"

"He's always been like that. He's always hated anything not human."

I sat up. "I'm not human? Am I a monster, Ma?" My lower lip trembled as another wail threatened to escape from my lungs. She pulled me into another one of her soft hugs.

"No, my child, you're no monster. You're just an elf. And there's nothing wrong with that. I love you as much as I love your sisters." She thumbed away the tears on my face for the second time that day.

"Come help me make dinner. Wash your hands and face and put on a clean smock." She stood up, gave me a kiss, and walked out. A few moments passed and I walked to the washbasin. I meticulously scrubbed my hands, arms, and face before putting on a clean smock.

"I don't care if you're an elf."

The small voice made me jump, and I look around for the source. A tiny raven-haired girl with curls framing her face climbed out from under the bed I was lying on moments before.

"Asta, you scared me!"

My youngest sister smiled slightly. For a child, she was solemn. Ma said the day she was born, she didn't cry. She just opened her big blue eyes and stared at her, much like she was staring at me now.

"I don't care that you're an elf," Asta repeated. I hugged her.

"You're getting too good at hiding. One of these days you're going to fall asleep!"

She shook her head, her black curls dancing around her small, oval-shaped face. "Nah." She said simply. I shrugged.

"What do you want for your birthday?" I asked her. She mimicked my shrug as we walked out of our room into the kitchen.

"I don't see what's so special. I'm only turning ten."

My mother glanced at her as she was cutting up potatoes. "Each year is a blessing. Be thankful you get to have another year."

Asta shrugged again. She took the potatoes Ma had already cut up and dropped them into the water warming up over the fire, one by one.

"Don't play around, Asta! You're going to burn yourself!"

"Yes, Ma."

I washed a few carrots in the kitchen washbasin and began cutting them. Meanwhile, Asta transferred the chopped carrots to the pot as well as our mother's potatoes. Wiping her hands on her apron, my mother turned the deer leg over on the spit. The juices sizzled on the coals as the dripped from the leg. The aroma made my mouth water.

"Where is your father and Eeva?" she fussed. I could sense her concern as the night grew darker. As if summoned, a loud bang on the door made all of us jump. Ma unbolted the door and threw it open. Da strode in, with Eeva close behind. Asta and I rushed in to greet Da first, who hugged us tightly, and hugged Eeva second, who gave us a sly grin.

I have something to show you, she mouthed to me while Da was busy kissing Ma. Asta looked from me to Eeva, and was about to ask what she said when I shook my head at her. She clammed up.

"So, Albert told me to dropped some stuff off at his shop." He eyed me as we ate. "What were you doing bothering him?"

My face turned crimson. "I was looking at plants by his shop and he asked me to come talk to him ."

"Is that all?"

"I don't think Old Bear likes me."

"Old Bear?" He shot a questioning look at my Ma, and she just smiled and stifled a laugh with her hand. He turned his attention back to me.

"What did you two talk about?" He asked before he bit into some deer.

"I told him about the bees."

Da spat out the deer, which hit Eeva, who was sitting across from him at the table, in the face. Asta and giggled quietly while Eeva shrieked. Ma clapped Da on the back as she howled with laughter. I turned crimson again as I giggled. Eeva peeled the deer off her nose with disgust.

"What did-" he coughed, and Ma clapped his back again. "What did he say?"

"He got really white and looked like he was going to pass out."

Da's laughter could've shaken the walls.

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 1 2013, 07:21 PM

That, was proper excellent right there that was...

Absolutely amazing stuff...

Reminds me of Athynae's writing...(Go read it!! Princess thread...Excellent writing there too )...

Aaaaamywho...

That was just full of the tugging at various emotion thingies...I laughed...I was just ever so slightly creeped out by "Old Bear"...Not sure if I should have been...But I was...I was disgusted by the uncle and cheered when "Ma" threw him out...

Oh so many goodnessess herein!!...

Um, if you were refering to Mustard's comment with the "Declining in substance" bit, I'm not sure he wasn't simply refering to the fact that the chapter was - from what you said - part of a larger whole and therefore served to set this next bit up, rather than having tonnes to do of itself is all...Not a complaint about yer story...Well, I'm assuming...I remember his excellent self saying much the same about one of mine in the J'Zirlo story I was doing some time ago...

This is truly some brilliant writing...

Loving it muchly...

Much muchly...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds most heartily*...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 1 2013, 07:28 PM

Oh no! I just meant that I feel like I'm doing poorly since I haven't been giving y'all any action scenes.

And thank you for the compliments :]

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 1 2013, 07:32 PM

When the story is due an action scene, I'm sure you will furnish us with a brilliant one...

Don't worry about what we might want, just keep writing the story as you want it...As soon as you start worrying about what others want, you'll lose focus on where you were going with it...*Points*...

*Applauds some more*... ...

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 2 2013, 04:26 AM

Kayla's uncle is an a**! That's a good thing his sister kicked him out.

So, Kayla was munchin' on plants and bees? She's got some balls, considering that she ate a bee. I don't thinkin I could do that, and I'm a full grown man

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 2 2013, 05:55 AM

She's a kid, kids eat weird things XD

I used to eat dirt and grass and flowers to see how they tasted. I STILL look at a plant and go "I wonder what that tastes like..." XD

Clovers taste good :]

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 2 2013, 06:13 AM

I used to giant Beatles and worms. I found them tasty at the time, but now whenever I think about it my stomach churns.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 2 2013, 06:16 AM

Oh god, WHY?!

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 2 2013, 06:17 AM

I don't know

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 2 2013, 06:29 AM

@ KoB Stop distracting me, it's time for the next installment, lol.





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Once we were sent to bed, Eeva slipped out from under her covers after Ma left the room.

"Do the magic light," she whispered to me.

I opened my palm and, which much concentration, a white orb of light emitted from it. I held my hand up to see what Eeva had. The light illuminated her straight blonde hair, and the same blue eyes as Asta's looked back at me. Asta sat up beside me and peered curiously at our sister's closed palm.

"You can't tell anyone about this," Our older sister whispered seriously. We nodded solemnly, and she opened her palm. In it was a smooth, oval-shaped pearl. Asta's eyes grew wide as Eeva's were smug with pride.

"Where did you get that?" I asked suspiciously.

"Shh! I told Da I needed to relieve myself, and went and snatched it from Albert's shop."

I opened my mouth in horror. "YOU STOLE-"

Eeva slamped her hand over my mouth. "I said SHH!"

"You stole from Old Bear?!" I whispered loudly. She reached over and pinched one of my longer, pointed ears.

"OWW!"

"Don't tell anyone," she warned. Asta was sitting quietly until now.

"Why did you take it?" She asked Eeva in a timid voice.

Eeva shrugged. "Because I wanted to. To see if I could."

Asta blinked. "He didn't notice?!"

Eeva shook her head. "That old goat wouldn't notice if I had reached into his pocket with him staring straight at me."

I was upset, even though I thought Old Bear was angry with me. Old Bear liked plants, like I did.

"I need to go to sleep," I announced, and promptly laid down and turned over. When I laid down, the light went with me. In darkness, my sisters had no choice but to lie down as well. I didn't see where Eeva tucked the pearl, but I was sure it was hidden in her pillow. After a few moments, when Eeva's breathing became deep and steady, Asta whispered to me.

"Nisse."

"Yes, Asta?" I whispered back.

"Who is the bald man who comes in at night?"

"There is no bald man, Asta."

"Yes there is. He comes in and watches us sleep."

I pulled Asta close. Her soft curls rested on my arm as she snuggled up close to me.

"I'll keep you safe, Asta. I won't let the monsters get you."

"You'll throw fire at him?"

"I will."

She drifted off after a few moments, with me close behind. I pulled the covers tighter over us to keep the chill out.

What I guessed were a few hours later I awoke to Asta shaking me awake.

"He's here!" She whispered frantically. "He wants me to follow him! Nisse, I'm so scared!"

I looked sleepily around the room. I saw no dark figures, nor and shapes that looked different.

"Go back to sleep, Asta. You're still dreaming."

I turned over to put my back to her. She started sobbing quietly.

"Leave me alone! Just leave me alone."

I started to panic. I sat up and drew Asta close to me. I held out my hand and lit up the ball of light. The light filled the room, and there was no one in the room besides Asta, Eeva, and I. Still shaking, Asta whispered, "I promise you, Nisse, he was here! I swear it!"

The light woke up Eeva.

"Turn that off!" She hissed, and turned her back to us. I closed my palm, squashing the light. I pulled Asta close again, and shushed her. Her gaze fixated on a spot on the wall behind me, across the room.

"Shh, it's okay," I cooed. "He's gone now. He was too scared of your big sister." I pulled the covers closer to us and closed my eyes. Before I drifted off, I opened my eyes once more. Asta's gaze was still fixated behind me.

I fell asleep.


~~~~~~~~~~~


Onmund blinked at me.

"Your family didn't torture you? Why would you lie about that?"

"What's harder to hear, that my family tortured me and died, or that I had a wonderful family, aside from a rotten, racist uncle, who died?"

Onmund stared at me for a moment. He shook his head, looking away from me. After a moment, he looks back, his expression slightly harder.

"Keep going."

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 2 2013, 06:38 AM

A creepy bald dude stalking Kayla's sister? I'm a bit scared now

Is it Movarth? Or is it a ghost. Slenderman?

Kayla had an interesting childhood.....

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 2 2013, 06:39 AM

You just copied 90% of the post, lol

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 2 2013, 06:44 AM

Oops

Still, who was that bald dude? He's scaring me

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 2 2013, 06:46 AM

You'll find out.

IT COULD BE MALAN! BLARRRGH!

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 2 2013, 06:55 AM

That's just creepy

Did he jump out if his story and into yours to give you more nightmares


I bet it's Movarth

Posted by: mALX Feb 2 2013, 08:40 AM

GAAAAH! All that and we never found out what really happened that traumatized her? URK! Great Write!

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 2 2013, 01:05 PM

SSSShhh!!...She'll tell us in a minute!!... ...

*Scared*...

Blimey...Either it's Nosferatu or Richard o'Brien...I'm not sure who'd be the scarier watcher really!!...

Excellent chapter...Nicely done...

Looking forward - I think - to whatever's coming next...

*Continues to be scared*...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Feb 2 2013, 02:00 PM

Wait, her family weren't all abusive people who gave Kayla a hard time due to the fact that she's adopted it. That's...you...we...bwha? You can't just subvert a cliche like that!

Anyway, that was both interesting and rather creepy. I wonder who this mysterious visitor is, and what exactly happened with him, Nisse/Kayla and her sisters...

Posted by: Acadian Feb 2 2013, 03:29 PM

So, a dark secret is being revealed from Kayla’s past. This was very well done and fascinating to read.

I loved little Kayla with her dirt, flowers and bugs! A natural alchemist if ever there was one. And I can imagine the challenges to a youngster carrying the magic that her race both cursed and blessed her with. Much more so when those raising her are round ears who lack the ability to guide and focus her talents.

"Silence, you disgusting knife-ear!"
What a cutting comment for the little Altmer to hear. ( )

Nits:
’I opened my palm and, which much concentration, a white orb of light emitted from it.’
You want 'with' instead of 'which', of course.

‘Onmund stared at me for a moment. He shook his head, looking away from me. After a moment, he looks back, his expression slightly harder.’
I’d recommend changing ‘looks’ to ‘looked’ to avoid tense hopping.

Posted by: mALX Feb 2 2013, 11:13 PM

Sorry for the short comment, it was almost 3 am and I wasn't very prolific, lol. All three chapters were great. The first two chapters were so connected that they could have stood alone and been combined into one - Excellent Write!

That third chapter really could have waited till your next post in a few days, which since it was only about 700 words would have given you room to add to it and complete the scene.

The reason I say that is that it brings up a mystery that is wholly intriguing - in adding it to an already large post, neither you or the reader can give it the full measure of attention it could have in a stand-alone post.

All that said, you have a very good story going here, and your writing is excellent! I am loving this story!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 3 2013, 12:57 AM

Had I done it in two parts, one post would have been too large and the other too short. That second post is what took up all of the room. I tried splitting it, but there was no break.

I'll do better next chapter though, I promise!

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 3 2013, 03:11 AM

At least you weren't stuck with writers block all week



Posted by: jack cloudy Feb 3 2013, 09:07 PM

Onmund wants to improve and it looks like they're going to make up. Yay!

Also I loved Sam. He really knows how to make himself the center of the scene.

And now we have a flashback. Though I already think I know what is going to happen in the end, it will be interesting to watch it unfold. I wonder if the youngest sister is born under the tower. In Morrowind and Oblivion it gave a detection spell.

Posted by: Grits Feb 6 2013, 05:39 PM

It works fine for me to have the scenes split up, since I tend to go back and read them together. It might take me a while to have enough time to read it that way, but I like to get the flow of the story as you intend it in the writing. This way folks can read it however they like. It helps a lot that you said at the beginning how many posts would be in the next part, so we wouldn’t wonder if we were going to be left hanging or if there was more of the scene coming right up.

I absolutely loved the scene in the dark with the sisters. Very sweet and also frightening and creepy. I can’t believe I’m agreeing with Onmund, but like he said: Keep going.

Posted by: King Coin Feb 8 2013, 05:05 AM

Asta creeped me out a little. This part about her childhood was very interesting, and the joke about the bees at the end was great! She was a timid little elf.

A man watches them sleep? I bet he’s invisible when the little sister wakes her up. Like Grits, I loved the scene in the dark.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 8 2013, 07:55 AM

Sorry for the delay, y'all. This week has been... interesting. I've let up on writing to focus on other things, and try to limit my days writing to only on my days off, but haven't had one in about a week. Then the thing with my boss happened, I'm having personal issues, and it all adds up. But this story is a great release for me, and I appreciate the support I get from y'all. I mean it. The encouragement is wonderful. I've never been one to show my writing off, but I find I like people reading my stuff, giving me pointers, and seeing myself how I can improve.

@ jack, don't count on anything just yet, lol. Remember, Kayla lied to Onmund about her past the whole time they knew each other. This is like your wife turning to you and going "By the way, I'm in the witness protection program, and have been since before we met."

Grits and KC, that was my most favorite part to write, besides the scene with Old Bear. I don't get to write creepy things too often, and this is great to stretch and test my creep-factor muscles :]

Where we are: Kayla is revealing more about her past as Onmund listens.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=



Asta seemed better in the morning, if not a bit shaken. While Eeva went with Da to tend his shop, buying and selling whatever goods they could sell, I asked for her to help me search for the pearl. We looked anywhere we could think of. We didn't find it.

"Maybe she has it in her pocket?" Asta suggested.

I shrugged. "I guess so. Where else is it gonna be?"

Asta was silent for a moment while I looked. "Nisse?"

"Yes?" I continued to look under Eeva's bed. I checked the straw again.

"What's a vampire?"

"I don't know." I stood up and brushed the dirt off my knees, looking at her. "Why?"

"That's what he says he is."

"Who?"

"The bald man who comes in at night."

I shook my head at her. "There is no bald man. UGH!" I crossed my arms. "How am I supposed to give back the pearl Eeva stole if we can't find it?" I sat down on Eeva's bed with my arms still crossed.

Asta sat next to me. "You're probably right," she murmured. We sat there in silence for a few moments. She suddenly brightened.

"Wanna play hide-and-seek?"

"You only want to play because you're good at it!"

Asta's shoulders sagged. "I'm not good at any other game."

"Fiiiiine," I drew the word out in mock irritation. "We can play." Asta smiled a small, pleased smile. We ran outside , blowing Ma a kiss before running through the door. I hid first, and Asta used our porch as home base. After counting to ten, she turned around and sought me out.

She quickly found me and tagged me. I tickled her sides and ran to the porch to count. I sought her out after counting to ten. I looked for a good hour before finding her. She was perched on our roof, giggling like crazy.

"I found you!" I declared. She giggled again.

"You have to come get me!"

"Are you thick? I can't climb that high!"

"It doesn't count unless you tag me!"

I scowled, and searched the perimeter of our house for a foothold. I saw a stack of barrels around the back. I shakily climbed on one and pulled myself up. I unsteadily tried to balance myself on the barrel, causing the one under me to rock and hit the other barrels next to it.

Asta laughed as I toppled over with the barrels. I hissed in pain and glanced at my knee. A top layer of skin was scraped off, and in the small wound were a few large splinters.

"ASTA! I got hurt! That means the game stops!" I called out. She peeked over the roof.

"It's a scratch. Doesn't count!"

I grunted at her furiously. "I have splinters!"

She slid down the roof, her small hands gripping the edge of the roof before dropping almost delicately onto the dirt. She bounced backwards and fell on her rear-end. She primly stood up, her black curls bouncing as she dusted herself off. She peered at my knee for a moment.

"It's not that bad. Ma can pull the splinters out ad we can keep playing."

"Fiiiine." I said irritably. I touched her arm.

"Tag, you're it!"

"No fair!" Asta whined.

"You said I was okay!"

Asta pouted. "Fine, but you better hide good. Don't hide behind me like you did last week."

She ran around the house and I quickly thought of where I could hide. The scrape on my knee burned when I stood up, but the pain quickly subsided, even as I ran towards the large barn at the very edge of town. I slid under a large pile of hay in the furthest corner of the barn, farthest away from the door, and waited.

I woke up after dark, and heard a shuffling noise at the far end. A murmur of voices hit my ears, and I was awake completely. Ma had told me that sometimes, the young men and women liked to go to the barns and do things I wasn't ready to know about just yet. Curious, I watched and listened intently.

Two figures clung to each other. The moon was already high. Ma's going to kill me, I thought. Curiousity kept me planted where I was, under the hay, out of sight. Their faces were close together and they were...

I covered my mouth and stifled a giggle. They're kissing! I thought. I had seen kissing before. What was so bad about the barn that Ma didn't want me to see?

The taller form leaned over and nuzzled the smaller one's neck. She moaned and giggled, which quickly turned into a gasp of pain.

"Stop," she said. "That hur-"

The man opened his mouth and bit down. I heard something that sounded like fabric ripping. The woman no longer spoke, but gargled, her throat gone. Her body spasmed in the man's arms as the life poured out of her and the man lapped it up hungrily. The sickening smell of iron filled the air as I gasped, and the man wrenched his head towards my direction. I covered my mouth as my heart beat furiously.

Please don't find me, please don't find me...

Every muscle in my body tightened as the man sniffed the air. The blood around his mouth and down his neck contrasted with his pale skin. The black hair on his head was matted down with gore and dirt, and the front of his tattered robe was soaked in the young woman's blood. I pressed my thighs together to stop the flow of urine that threatened to spring from me.

The man looked almost straight into my eyes.

"I hear a pitter-patter!" He said in a soft, playful voice. He jumped closer. "What could it be?"

He took another leap towards me. "A kitten?" Another leap. "A puppy?" Another leap, and he was next to the pile of hay I was in. He inhaled deeply.

"Or maybe a naughty child." He reached into the haystack and pulled me by my smock out of the haystack. The urine I so desperately held in released itself as I began to sob. The man wrapped a hand around my throat and lifted me off the ground, pinning me against the barn wall. I kicked uselessly, my hands trying to pry his hand from my throat. The only noise I could manage was a strangled squeak. I kicked one of my shoes off.

The man leaned in and grinned at me. My eyes opened wide in horror at the long fangs. I flailed even more. His breath, cool on my face, reeked of blood and decay. His breath went in and out in wheezes.

I felt a numbness creep up my neck as he poured magick into me. My legs ceased to kick, and my arms dropped to my sides. He let me down, and I stood there, numbly looking foward at nothing.

Run, I told my body. RUN. But nothing happened.

That was the last thing I remembered.

Posted by: mALX Feb 8 2013, 08:44 AM

WOO HOO! You ratcheted up the tension in this one! Holy Cow, and a cliffhanger! Now what? Urk! Awesome Write!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 8 2013, 10:27 AM

Gracias

Posted by: mALX Feb 8 2013, 10:31 AM

You have a lot of unexpected things happening in your story, I LOVE that!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 8 2013, 10:53 AM

Just wait. -laughs maniacally while rubbing hands together-

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Feb 8 2013, 11:15 AM

Damn, that was creepy! And there's one hell of a cliffhanger as well; leaves me wondering how Kayla/Nisse actually gets out of this predicament alive, considering it's a single kid against a vampire, of all things.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 8 2013, 11:46 AM

I've already gotten the next chapter written up. I HAVEN'T SLEPT. INSPIRATION!!!

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 8 2013, 01:22 PM

This vampire is terrifying

I'm going to start sleeping with a wooden stake now

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 8 2013, 01:57 PM

Aaaand d'you know what the really scary thing is?...

Aaaargh!!...This is not the vampire you're looking for!!!... ...

Oh my absolute giddy aunts (and I do actually have one of them...) that was excellent...The juxtaposition twixt childish game and evil-bitey-chew-slurp-git is truly fantastically done...

I loved the way she went into the barn...And then woke up...*Applauds*...

Fantastic job...

Always looking forward to more...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds most heartily*...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 8 2013, 08:13 PM

-wink wink- Sure isn't!

I don't know if it was temporary insanity or what, but the next chapter was finished at 6 this morning my time. And you were so right! I got sick of looking at the unfinished chapter and just WROTE. Thanks for the advice :]

Posted by: jack cloudy Feb 9 2013, 12:55 PM

Maybe he grabbed a wig to enhance his seduction skill.

I hope he isn't setting her up as a scapegoat, though. Uncle true son of Skyrim would take the bait in a heartbeat. Then again, I don't want her to end up as his desert either. Oh dear, this flashback won't have an happy ending I'm afraid.

Posted by: Acadian Feb 10 2013, 01:04 AM

"Fiiiiine," I drew the word out in mock irritation.’
"Fiiiine." I said irritably.’
I see Kayla is learning, at a young age, to harness the power of the ‘F’ word! I expect someday she will master the ‘tersely clipped’ variant and become a formidable force of feminine fineness! Here, let me repost something I wrote some time ago -

As for the story, might we be witnessing the birth of a vampire hunter?

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 10 2013, 05:50 AM

I was wondering when you were going to read, Acadian!

"Fine" is my favorite word to let people know I'm angry. That and "Okay." followed by a blank look. It confuses the hell out of all men XD

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 10 2013, 07:14 AM

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Where we are: Continuing with Kayla's story.




Onmund's face flickered between anger and pity.

"Was anything you've told me true?" he spat. His green eyes were hard, and I looked down in shame.

"Onmund, you will understand why I hid this. At least I hope you will."

I reached over and touched his hand lightly. Peeling the layers off of my past was difficult. The raw sadness I had left suppressed began to bubble up, manifesting itself in the form of tears. My stomach lurched at the thought of the sound of that woman's flesh ripping. What shamed me greater was I didn't even remember her name.

I continued, my voice shaking.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-===-=-=-=-=-=---

"Is she alright?" I heard my mother's worried voice through the fogginess. My head pounded, and my throat was dry. I was hot. I moaned, crying out for my mother. I felt her cool hand on my forehead, and heard her murmur.

"It's alright, my child, Ma's here."

"I don't feel good, Mama."

I couldn't open my eyes, nor do more than speak. My voice was hoarse. I tried to speak again, but I coughed instead.

"You got very lucky, little one," I heard a familiar voice. "I don't know how you got away from whatever animal attacked that girl with just a small bite, but you got lucky."

When Albert mentioned the bite, I began to whimper. A vision of a diseased mouth placing its lips on my tender shoulder and ripping at the flesh flashed into my head. The bloodied grin of the vampire chewing my own flesh in front of me and swallowing it was enough to drive me mad. I wanted to warn my Ma, warn Da, leave with Eeva and Asta and never return.

"Skeever," I rasped. No! That was wrong! Why did I say that?

Suddenly, a burst of light broke upon my face, and I cried out. Ma held me down as I writhed away from the light, bawling. I heard a man's voice speak, his words rushed.

"I got the ingredients you need. Why such a large supply?"

After a moment, the voice asked, "Gods! Is she infected with-"

"Brain rot. I'm afraid so," Albert interrupted. "Fever, sensitivity to light, and memory loss. Poor child can't remember what happened to her."

The light ceased, and I laid on the bed, panting with tears rolling down my cheeks. Ma tried to sooth me. My shoulder throbbed, and my throat was really dry.

"Thirsty," I gasped. "Mama, water!"

Cool water dripped into my mouth, and I leaned up hungrily. I drank until my belly sloshed. I coughed, vomitting up the water.

"What is wrong with her? I've never seen Brain Rot this terrible!"

My mother's panicked voice broke my heart. I wanted to sit in her lap and feel the comfort of her soft arms. I could only cry that I was thirsty.

"You may want to leave," Albert said.

"I am NOT leaving my child!" My mother replied angrily.

"Madam, you have two other children who need you. Let us take care of the worst one right now."

The other man pushed my mother out the door. The light hit me again, and I screamed in pain. I heard the door bolt shut, and I panted in relief. Sweat soaked through my clothes into the bedsheets.

"How bad is she?" The other man asked.

"She's almost there, Talon. We need to cure her before she gets any worse." I heard the clink of bottles. "Hand me that bottle over there. No, not that one, the thicker one. Now hold her down."

I felt the covers lift off of me, and the relief of the warmth was quickly replaced by chills and the pressure of strong arms sitting me up. Talon leaned me against his chest. I breathed in the scent of his shirt, wondering if it posessed the same comforting quality of Da's scent. It didn't.

"Da," I moaned. "Ma." Talon sat on the bed and sat me in his lap, facing away from him. he stretched my legs out in front of me and crossed his own legs over mine before holding my arms at my sides with one arm and my head on his shoulder with the other.

"I got her."

My eyes snapped open when the bandage was peeled off of my right shoulder. I started to wiggle, and Talon gripped me harder, and Albert's wrinkled face was pursed in concentration as he mixed a dark green paste in a bowl.

"Don't wiggle," he chastised. I continued anyways.

"Why does everyone wiggle?" Talon asked. Albert began to slather the paste on the infected would on my shoulder.

"No! No!" I cried, and wiggled even more.

"The disease wants to preserve itself." Albert replied as I grunted and growled at him. I knew that I needed to be cured, but the rage that I felt at him trying to cure me was blind. I wanted to attack both of them and...

And what?

Albert put a fresh bandage on my arm and stood up. He grabbed a potion from a nearby table and uncorked the lid. Talon continued to hold me as I struggled.

"I'm going to give you something to take the pain stop, and the sickness go away. You'll go to sleep, and when you wake up, everything will be fine."

I clamped my mouth shut. Albert pinched my nose closed until I opened my mouth to gasp for air. That's when he poured the liquid down my throat. I struggled against it, but Talon's grip was firm. I began to feel drowsy.

Albert leaned down, eye level with me. "Who attacked you, Nisse?"

My eyes drooped. "Man. Teeth. Bit me." I focused on Albert's eyes. "Eeva took your pearl. I tried...couldn't find it. Sorry, Old Bear." My eyelids drooped as the potion took effect. My head dropped to my chest, and my body sagged.

I heard nothing for a moment, until Talon spoke.

"Can we save the others?"

It was a few moments until Albert spoke.

"No."

I began to doze off.

"How many children are sick?" Talon asked.

"All of them."

I fell asleep.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 10 2013, 07:26 AM

WHAT DID THAT VAMPIRE DO TO ALL THE KIDS?!

That son of a.....

This story is really starting to get interesting. Can't wait for more.

Great Job

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 10 2013, 07:33 AM

"STARTING to?"

That's it. Get out.

XD

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 10 2013, 07:35 AM

Starting to get more action packed! It was interesting from the start, but it seems the main plot is starting to. I've along!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 10 2013, 07:38 AM

Mhmm. Mhmm. SURE. XD

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 10 2013, 07:40 AM

Fine, don't believe me. I'll just leave

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 10 2013, 07:41 AM

GOODBYE.

:]

You know you're my buddy XD

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 10 2013, 07:44 AM

How the karking hells did she get away?!!...

*Does best Admiral Ackbar* It's a trap!!... ...

So, it seems Albert wasn't quite the creep I thought he was...Well...Certainly at the moment he seems to be good...

Methinks he knows what's going on anyways... ...

Really can't be easy for him hearing this...



Blasted Vampire glamouring... ...

Excellent writing!!...Glad you're all on track again... ...

And this final one...



Aaaargh!!!... ....

Truly brilliant stuff...Loving it!!...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 10 2013, 07:45 AM

In due time, my pretties, in due time... -evil laugh-

Posted by: mALX Feb 11 2013, 01:55 AM

GAAAAAH!



This whole chapter was chilling! Urk! Awesome Write!



*

Posted by: Acadian Feb 11 2013, 11:39 PM

Very neat, seeing this from the disoriented young victim's perspective. mALX is right, chilling indeed!

Posted by: King Coin Feb 13 2013, 03:04 AM

The hey pile! I remember that from earlier. I am so tense something is going to happen!

What a gruesome sight. He found her!

The magic (I presume) that is keeping her from telling everyone what happened was a wonderful touch. Very creepy that she can remember, but can’t tell.

I think Albert knows what it really is… So cool that the disease actually tries to preserve itself. Chilling.

Gah! They are all infected?

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 13 2013, 05:39 AM

I feel like my writing is declining in substance and worth, sooo... I don't know. I'll keep on trying to improve. I appreciate the comments, everyone! <3

Where we are: Kayla is continuing the story of her past.










Thumpthumpthump, thumpthumpthump.

There was a brief pause as the footsteps ceased. They were light and quick, not heavy like an adult's. I sobbed quietly as I waited for them to subside. Every night, at the same time, I heard the same searching footsteps. Every night, I heard Asta call for me.

Thumpthumpthump, thumpthumpthump.

"Nisse? I miss you, Nisse! Old Bear is back! He says I'm all better."

Thumpthumpthump, thumpthumpthump.

I heard a crash, then a cry. I jumped up and readied myself for whatever was to come. No other sound came though. I had heard the footsteps four times, and every time, Asta would try to coax me out. I had long ago found the lock and latched the trap-door shut against Asta's desperate arms. I slumped back against the wall, my breathing heavy.

I was getting ill, being trapped in the dark with my own filth. I had been too terrified to venture out after Asta attacked me, and had been waiting for the rescue Albert had promised. I occupied my time by practicing summoning a flame faster. When the footsteps came, I stopped all movement and huddled on the filthied bedroll in the corner.

Sometimes Eeva came with Asta. Sometimes one of my cousins would, or another town kid. But never Ma or Da, or Uncle Njal, or any other adult. And never Old Bear.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

My heart pounded. That wasn't Asta's footsteps. Or the other kids'. I heard the bed being dragged from over the trap-door and began to whimper. The door rattled, and I heard a curse.

"She locked it!"

"Is she even alive?"

"The spell says she is."

The trap-door rattled one more time. I heard the wood breaking as someone strained on the other side. With a sudden tug, the lock gave away and the sound of several bodies hitting the ground, and the clang of metal rang in my ears. I ran behind a stack of barrels before they recovered.

"Nisse? Are you here?" An unfamiliar female voice called. The accent was not Nordic, but instead crisp and precise. I heard footsteps on the ladder descending slowly.

"Nisse?" The floor creaked. I loaded up my fire and let out a war-squeak and hurled the fire as hard as I could. Which wasn't very hard. The fireball fizzled before it ever reached any of the three people in the basement. A large, dark-haired Nord man with a large crooked nose laughed at the Khajiit male and Dunmer female.

"You two jumped at THAT?" He roared with laughter.

I panted before falling to my knees behind the barrel. The Khajiit knocked over the barrels and scooped me up, holding me like an infant. I let him scoop me up.

"We found her!" the Nord man hollered up the ladder.

I cringed. "Please," I whimpered. "Please don't bite me. It hurts."

The group exchanged looks. "My dear, no one here wants to hurt you," the Dunmer woman said gently. The Khajiit shifted me in his arms. The Nord gave me a pitied look. I began to cry.

"There's no one here," I sobbed. "Only the kids, and they want to eat me! Asta tries to get me to come out, but I won't! I can't find Ma and Da, and Old Bear never came back for me." I sniffled.

"Do you know where they went?" The Nord man asked gently.

I shook my head. I clung closer to the silent Khajiit for comfort moreso than warmth. "He left me a note on the door."

"Hey! Someone bring me the note on the front door!" The dunmer woman hollered.

"Please don't yell! They'll hear you!" I whimpered. The Khajiit chuckled warmly, the fur tickling my arms. His warm, almost raspy voice surprised me.

"Vampires do not come out in the daylight. At least, not these ones. Nisse is lucky."

"Vampire? What's that? Is that what happens in barns?" All three looked extremely confused.

"Ma said sometimes young people go into barns and do things I'm not supposed to know about. I didn't know they eated each other!" I wailed. "I'll never go into barns again!"

I was incredulous that the three could laugh at a time like this. Had I been on the ground, I would have stomped my foot.

"We will have a talk when we get back to the city," the Dunmer woman said, smiling gently. "But for now, you need to tell us everything that has happened, while we get you cleaned up."

They listened while I recounted my experience and changed into the clothes Albert had apparently stocked for me. The Dunmer woman introduced herself as Nedene, the Khajiit man as Ma'Dat, and the Nord man as Jon. As I told them about hearing Albert saying all of the children were infected, Nedene's eyes watered up. Before I could ask, Ma'Dat spoke up.

"All clean. Time to go."

I was holstered onto Ma'Dat's hip once we were up the ladder into the house, where a group of 6 people awaited us. I took a deep breath of fresh air and leaned my head on his shoulder, shielding my eyes from the harsh sun. The cool air nipped at the small bits of explosed flesh on my arms and neck while tossing my greasy auburn locks around my face.

"When we get to city, you wash," Ma'Dat whispered into my ear. I said nothing and allowed him to carry me to the carriage. Suddenly I perked up.

"Asta!" I cried. "What about Asta? And Ma? And Eeva? And Da?" I bolted from the seat and hopped over the carriage side clumsily. A Redguard male grabbed at my clothing, but I tore away from him.

"Grab her!" Jon shouted, but I was faster than them. I ran further into town, searching frantically for my Ma. All I found were pieces of the people I grew up with, pale and bloated, tongues lolling, flies laying eggs. The children of the town had made their homes in their old homes, the decaying bodies of their parents no longer offering the comfort of warmth, but the stench of death. They gnashed and grabbed at me, and I recoiled, begging them to remember me. My cousins had feasted upon the body of my uncle Njal, their pale skin betraying their condition while their open mouths hungered for my own flesh.

I ran into the forest, out of town, weeping. Weeping for my parents, my sisters, even my uncle. Weeping for the children who only wanted to grow up and become adventurers, wives, fathers, farmers, merchants.

But mostly, I wept for myself and how alone I was.



=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=



Onmund stopped me.

"You don't have to keep going, I get it." He grimaced. "Everyone... died."

I leaned forward, my hands on his shoulders.

"You DON'T get it, Onmund. They didn't just die, they were murdered." I gripped his shoulders tighter. "The children were turned, then allowed to slaughter their own parents! All because Movarth had some master plan that included an army of undead children! Something that, luckily failed."

I edged closer to him and looked him in the eye. "I know you have had trouble with your family, but imagine those little children-"

"Stop."

"No, imagine-"

"STOP."

"EATING their parents!"

Onmund covered his face.

I put my hand on his leg. "The disease does not allow for morality, Onmund. It does not allow for weakness, and it does not allow for emotions. When I was infected, I wanted to..." I gulped down the bile threatening to force its way up my throat. "I wanted to hurt the men trying to save me. And I didn't know why. I was a child, with no restraint. I wasn't mature at all. And Movarth-"

I cut off. After a moment of silence, I continued.

"Movarth knew that. He used to be a vampire hunter. Movarth Piquine," I sighed. "The man who wanted to hunt down every vampire. I admire that."

Onmund gave me a sharp look. "You're talking about the 'Immortal Blood' book, aren't you?"

I nodded, and he said, "Kayla, that book is fiction."

"No... No, it's not." I cast my eyes down. "That's another part of the story I haven't told you. Onmund, that group worshipped the daedric prince Meridia. Just as I do." I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "When that group took me in, they let me in on a few secrets. A lot of them could get me in trouble with Meridia."

"Because she cares?" Onmund snorted.

It was my turn to give him a sharp look. "She cares enough to give me her sword. She cared enough to have Albert save me from becoming a vampire." I scratched the side of my neck absentmindedly. "I don't say anything about you worshipping Talos."

I instantly felt ashamed.

Onmund turned red. "Perhaps we need to take a break. Get some fresh air." He stood up and walked down the steps. "I'll be outside," he called over his shoulder.

I put my head in my hands. I cursed my temper out loud, and put on warmer clothes. I bolted out the door to find Onmund. as I searched, the wind nipped and bit at the exposed flesh around my face and neck. I looked around the outside of the house, finding nothing. Down the street, people from the Bannered Mare were trickling out. Most had their clothes on, where the rest seemed to be in such a daze that the guards had to escort them to their houses.

"Onmund?" I called quietly. No answer. I searched around the nearby houses, even around Adrienne's forge. Almost out of earshot, I heard a child's voice, and the familiar response of Onmund. I walked quietly toward the voices and stopped just before turning a corner and listened.

"How long have you been here, little girl?" Onmund asked.

"I just got here. I'm searching for someone. I've looked for so long, and I think I finally found her." A short silence followed, and then the girl said, "I'm so hungry. Can you feed me?"

I peeked around the corner, and lunged at Onmund, screaming at him to get away. A dirty child wearing tattered clothing and a feral look grasped my husband's shoulders. Her raven hair, which were pristine curls twenty-two years ago, stuck to her head with old gore and dirt. Mouth open, she tore into Onmund's neck before I coud reach her.

"Asta, NO!" I shrieked. Asta giggled as I ran to Onmund, trying to stave off the blood flow from his neck. Onmund gurgled, his eyes already glassy. His body convulsed in my arms. Asta fled.

"HELP! " I screamed. "SOMEBODY HELP!"

Onmund was gone long before the guards came.

Posted by: mALX Feb 13 2013, 11:32 AM

HOLY CRAP! GAAAAAH! URK! *mALX faints in front of PC*


An hour passes


HOLY CRAP! GAAAAAH! URK! *mALX faints in front of PC*


An hour passes


HOLY CRAP! GAAAAAH! URK! *mALX faints in front of PC*


An hour passes


HOLY CRAP! GAAAAAH! URK! Totally AWESOME Write! Urk! GAAAAAAH! *mALX faints in front of PC*




*

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 13 2013, 02:04 PM

I absolutely did not see that coming...

I mean, that ranks as one of the biggest jaw-dropping twists since the end of Acadian's book 1 of Buffy...(Shan't spoil it, but trust me...Jaw. Drop.)...

Fair dues...I shan't go into my vampire rant just now...But I think psycho vampire-children ranks pretty high on the list of things what do my head in... ...

Brilliant writing...As ever...Brilliant stuff...

Looking forward to what the hell is coming next... ...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 13 2013, 02:36 PM

I told y'all. lol

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Feb 13 2013, 03:41 PM

Wow, Asta appears to be even worse company the rest of Skyrim's children.

What, you expected sincerity? From me? Hah!



Look, I liked the chapter, I just can't think of any constructive input; I'm just awful at this stuff.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 13 2013, 05:20 PM

Okay? Lol

Posted by: jack cloudy Feb 13 2013, 09:47 PM

Onmund? Onmund?! OOONMUUUND!!!!!!

Oh, it's on now. IT. IS. ON! You got in the way of a mending relationship, don't think you can get away with it! Even if you are her sister!


Ugh, and here I thought Skyrim's kids were bad enough when they weren't vampirized. I swear, the little brats are fully aware of their immortality and child-guard mind-control powers over everyone. They just know they can whine and gloat to everyone. Well, no more of that!

Pull yourself together, Kayla! It is time for vengeance. Nord-style!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 13 2013, 10:21 PM

You're right, it's SO on, lol

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 13 2013, 10:26 PM

This chapter was scary! I loved it

ONMUND IS DEAD? NOOOOOO! I DIDN'T LIKE YOU BUT I NEVER WANTED YOU TO DIE

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 14 2013, 06:16 AM

Hey KOB.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-anicQzX62Ck/UDxJoD8uggI/AAAAAAAADzw/7YZR0iBmiW8/s1600/zombieland_girl_photo19a.jpg says hi.

XD

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 14 2013, 06:21 AM

OH MY F*CKING GOD! JESUS F*CKING CHRIST!

Hi Asta

Posted by: Acadian Feb 14 2013, 02:03 PM

And the loop finally closes. What a tale of horror!

Poor Kayla. Welcome to the club of widows.

And it’s not over yet, for Asta is still out there, probably along with other three foot terrors. Will Kayla accept a quest to destroy what was once her own sister? I do not envy her path.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 15 2013, 08:20 PM

Note from me: Thanks everyone for your encouraging words via postings and PMs. I have a WHOLE LOT of self-doubt, if you can't tell, but I'm determined! Determined to write things exactly as I see them in my head!

Where we are: The beginning of REVEEEENGE!









Dawnbreaker sang as I freed it from its sheath. The feral vampire snarled, her yellow teeth dripping with saliva. Her dirty hair clung to her face with sweat and her own blood. We panted, she with exhaustion and I with fury. She leaned herself against the cave wall while I pressed Dawnbreaker to her throat.

"What have you heard about vampire children?" I snarled at her. The remnants of what once could have been a young Breton girl only looked at me hungrily. Dawnbreaker pulsed with an eager light.

"Answer me!" I screamed. The vampire slumped against the wall. "I don't know," she panted, trying to push herself up from the floor, but failing. "Only rumors. A dark-haired child with eyes of crimson and a heart of ice. Putting the Dark brotherhood to shame." She gulped a few times, still panting.

I stepped closer. "Then that's all I need from you."

"You're letting me go?"

"Not a chance."

With a swift kick to the head, I knocked the vampire flat on her back. She tried scrambling away, but I pressed the heel of my foot to her throat. Without a word, as she begged for mercy, I lit a firebolt in my hand and shot it into her open mouth. As she choked on the conjured molten rock, I watched it burn her skull from the inside out.

I scraped my boot off and headed out of the cave. I could hear Dawnbreaker's moan of disappointment in my head as I sheathed it. I had only begun my search, but I knew my next step. I knew someone who could help me.

The heat of the flames waved my hair in ripples across my face. I stood, silent, as the funeral pyre burned my husband. The flames made the shadows dance across the courtyard, and the moans and wails of various townsfolk filled the air.

I was silent.

Lydia gripped my arm, her eyes red, but her face unflinching. The stench of burnt hair and clothing filled the air, wafting through the town, staining it for days to come.

The trek back to Whiterun was lonely. But I was used to it. Memories threatened to spill from my head and manifest into tears. The chasm in my chest was now filled with a burning, white-hot rage. I dove into it gladly.

"Danica, you have to save him! Please!"

Anything to distract me.

"He's gone, Kayla. There's nothing I can do."

Anything to keep me fueled.

I clung to Onmund's body, covered in his blood, smearing it when I stroked his cheek with my thumb.

Anything to replace the ever-looming cloud above my head.

"Wake up, please wake up!" I sobbed.

I would rather have the searing pain of hate than the crushing weight of sadness.

I blinked my eyes against the reverie. The sun was coming up. I washed the blood from my face and arms, kneeling, keeping a watchful eye out for any danger.

I kept my eyes on Onmund's body, intent on watching the very last flame die out. To make sure he did not come back to me.

Lydia pulled me away by my arm, and I followed her. We walked back to my house, lonlier and colder than it was before. I sat at the desk in my room, quill poised over parchment. Lydia watched me from the chair across the room.

I looked up at her. "I'm selling the house."

Her eyebrows shot up. "What? You're selling the house? The ENTIRE house?"

"No, just the floorboards. Of COURSE the entire..." I shook my head. "I have someone I've been meaning to visit for a long time. An old friend from my childhood." I dipped the quill in ink again and began writing furiously. when I was finished, I waved the parchment around to dry the ink.

"I want you to come with me," I said to Lydia. She raised her eyebrows again, but this time in amusement.

"Where else am I going to go? Once you sell the house, I'll be stuck in the old quarters I used to have, or in the the inn. I'd much rather travel with you than stay in this town all of the time."

I nodded. "Good." I folded up the parchment and poured some hot wax in the center to seal it. "After I send the letter, we will begin preparing to leave."

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Rorikstead. We leave in a week. We should get there a few days after the courier. Give him time to prepare."

"Who?"

"Ma'Dat."

"Who is Ma'Dat?" Lydia scrunched up her eyebrows. "That sounds like a Khajiit name."

I nodded. "It is."

Lydia still looked confused. "WHY are we heading to Rorikstead?"

"I need advice on how to kill my 9 year old sister."

Lydia's eyes looked like they were pop out of her head.

"Well, kill her AGAIN, I mean." I added. Lydia's face paled.

"Whoa, calm down! She's technically thirty. She's a vampire." Lydia's mouth slowly opened. A squeak escaped.

"You know what, Lydia? Go to bed. I'll explain later." I pushed her out the door, despite her sputtering protests. I closed the door behind her, and after a few moments, her footsteps thunked towards her room.

I continued the trek towards Whiterun after eating a few mouthfuls of bread and dried meat. I had gotten no information from the vampires nearby. Asta's influence was farther out. But they HAD heard of her. In spite of Onmund's death being a week in passing, there was no time to mourn. Action had to be taken.

Asta would pay. Very dearly.




=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=





A week later, we arrived in Rorikstead shortly before dusk. I spotted Ma'Dat's small house on the edge of town, next to the city's open wall. Lydia and I shouldered our packs and headed towards the house. Ma'Dat opened his door, grinning in a way that only Khajiit could.

"Ma'Dat is pleased to see Nisse! It has been too long for this old Khajiit." I embraced Ma'Dat, his brown fur smelling much like it did twenty years ago. Comforting.

"Nisse?" Lydia asked. "Your name is Kayla, though." She gave me a confused look.

I sighed. "Nisse is my real name," I explained. "After my family died, I changed it." I kept it short and sweet. Apparently telling the whole tale caused the listener to die a horrible death.

"But to Kayla?" Ma'Dat asked. "It does not sound of Nords or of Elves."

"Exactly," I murmured. I grinned at Ma'Dat, hoping to change the subject. "How's Nedene?" I bumped my hip with his, waggling my eyebrows. "Have you two made it official yet?"

Ma'Dat sighed. "Ma'Dat has some bad news, Nisse. Nedene did not make it to Rorikstead with Ma'Dat."

"What?!" I felt tears threaten to spill over my lids. "What happened?"

"A bandit arrow hit her in the throat. She only knew how to heal others, and not herself." He sighed and shook his head. "She was only sixty."

Lydia sensed an uncomfortable situation coming, and set her bags lightly on the floor.

"Kayl- uh, Nisse..."

"Kayla."

"Kayla, I'm going to head to the inn."

"Say hi to Erik for me," I called over my shoulder. I sat down and put my head in my hands.

"Nedene is gone too? And what about Jon?"

"Jon is living in Ivarstead with his wife and 3 children. All boys."

I sighed in relief. "At least he is doing okay. Ma'Dat, something terrible happened."

"What is it, Nisse?"

I gulped. "Asta is back. She killed my husband." I felt torn between anger, hate, and sadness. Either way, tears did spill from my eyes this time. Ma'Dat's ears flattened against his head.

"The vampire-child survived? Did we not purge their sanctuary twenty years ago?"

I shook my head. "No. Movarth survived too, but I took care of him. But not before he took my child." I gripped the arms of the chair. I suddenly realized ow much I had lost. The woman who taught me how to swing a sword without chopping my own leg off, my child, my husband, my sisters, my parents...

Suddenly I felt very dizzy. What did I have left to fight for? Ma'Dat put a furred hand on my shoulder. His ears were laid back, but not as much as when he was angry. His tail, brown with a black tip, also laid low.

"Ma'Dat, there is something you should know as well. When I was recovering from the injuries Movarth dealt to me, Meridia appeared to me in my dream."

Ma'Dat's ears went straight up. "And what did beloved Meridia have to say to Nisse?"

"That..." I took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "I cannot have a husband, nor a child. At least right now." I looked questioningly at him. "Why not?"

Ma'Dat sighed. "Nisse received the same dream we all did. When Ma'Dat and Nedene discovered the love between us, we received the dream on the same night. Only Jon, as far as we know, did not have the dream."

I grew angry. "And why not?" I spat. "What makes him so special?"

Ma'Dat patted my shoulder. "Jon lost his family, much like you did. But Ma'Dat thinks because of his age, his time for serving Meridia is almost over. Only when we fulfill our duties to Meridia do we-" He suddenly cut off and looked at my sword. Dawnbreaker's leather flap did not cover the entirety of the jewel shining from it.

"Is that..."

"Dawnbreaker? Yes. Meridia gifted it to me after I cleansed her shrine."

"That was you?" Ma'Dat's ears didn't know whether to lie flat or stay up. "This changes thing, Nisse. She has chosen you as her champion. THAT is why you cannot have a husband or child. Never has a purpose been so clear than that of her Champion."

I blinked at Ma'Dat. "So... what is my purpose?"

"That Ma'Dat does not know. You must travel back to the shrine of Meridia and seek her guide. Bring an offering."

I grimaced. "Undead flesh?"

Ma'Dat nodded. "There is none lying around, but there are plenty of necromancer lairs around the shrine." Ma'Dat's face held a snarl. "Filthy people, messing with the dead."

I nodded in agreement. "I will never understand that either." I decided to change the subject. "Have you set up shop here?"

Ma'Dat nodded. "Since Mralki's son met a beautiful elf who helped him get his start adventuring, I have been helping at the inn." A twinkle in the old Khajiit's eye appeared. "Erik is still quite taken with you."

I rolled my eyes. "Erik is still green, and needs some practice with his sword."

A dry chuckle escaped from Ma'Dat, and I realized the double-meaning behind what I said.

"Gods, no! That's not what I-!" I turned crimson, and swatted at Ma'Dat. "You mangy old cat! I'm going to go get a room at the inn."

As I stood up, Ma'Dat put a hand on my arm. "Lemkil is at the inn as well. His daughters have shown up with bruises on their faces. Erik has already told him to keep his fists to himself. Lemkil might be looking for a fight."

I shrugged. "Let him. Besides, Lydia is up there. She packs a mean punch as well." I winked at Ma'Dat. "But not as good as the elf who had a Khajiit trainer."

I slipped out of the door, keeping my pack close to me. A few buildings down was Frostfruit Inn, and the music was lively. A feeling of dread weighed in my gut. The last time I went to an inn, I was stripped naked by a sore-sucking conjurer. I opened the door anyways.

Posted by: jack cloudy Feb 15 2013, 08:49 PM

And the journey of vengeance begins!

I like the tie-back to the flashback and how you decided to move ahead a few days and essentially start in media res. (Or whatever the term is)

And Kayla telling Lydia she's going to kill her sister. (It's okay, technically she's an adult) had me laughing.

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Feb 15 2013, 10:39 PM

Wait, was that Babette at the start, there? I liked Babette...

And Onmund is gone forever! Christ!

I like the idea of Meridia's servants not being 'allowed' family while they serve her; it's a neat idea, and fits very will with Meridia's character, seeing as she isn't really the compromising type. That said, I'd be surprised that, in light of this revelation, Kayla might hold Meridia responsible for Onmund's death and blame her for taking Onmund away from her; considering that she's got some pretty advanced grief problems and possible PTSD, I can see her getting the idea that Meridia actually sent/directed Asta to Onmund in order to enforce her doctrine of 'You hold fealty to Meridia and to Meridia only'.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 15 2013, 10:41 PM

Babette? Nope, that was not Babette, lol. Think teenaged young girl. My bad.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 15 2013, 10:42 PM

The time comes for Kayla to get revenge

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Feb 15 2013, 10:53 PM

Ah, right; I saw a young (well, 'young') vampire and she mentioned the Dark Brotherhood so I assumed that that was the case.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 15 2013, 11:01 PM

Oh, nope. Sorry. XD I liked Babette too.

Posted by: Acadian Feb 16 2013, 01:55 PM

You painted Kayla’s emotions well during the Nordic funeral. It was good that she had Lydia holding on to her.

I’m glad the old cat and Kayla count each other as friends.

Meridia has some tough requirements, it seems. It would have been helpful if she had clarified those before recruiting her champion.

"Gods, no! That's not what I-!" I turned crimson, and swatted at Ma'Dat. "You mangy old cat! I'm going to go get a room at the inn."

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 17 2013, 07:38 AM

The vampire bit at the beginning gave me much joy... ...

The funeral was beautiful...Loved it...

I had to chuckle at that... ...

Me likes Ma'Dat...He seems cool...

Looking forward to more...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...


Teeny nit...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 17 2013, 07:41 AM

Maybe I want it like that.

Maybe I'm trying to make up a new word.

Ever think of THAT? XD

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 17 2013, 07:52 AM

No, you're right, absolutely...I'm down with that...

Though frommy does tend to make one think of a type of coffee...And while "spilling frommy head" does sound like a thing you wind up doing in a dingy cafe somewhere, I'm not sure that's the angle you're going for here...

...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 17 2013, 07:53 AM

Baha!

I'm in a bad mood. I'll calm down eventually :]

I also changed it, so thanks for the head's up :]

Posted by: mALX Feb 17 2013, 10:24 AM

So Onmund is really dead then, poor Kayla! Really gross fight with the vampire in the beginning of this chapter, urk. There goes my breakfast! Oh, I didn't eat yet, I meant there goes my ability to eat my breakfast!

I picture Lydia disappearing after that warning Kayla gave her, lol. Urk. You can't sneak up on vampires with Lydia, she is pathologically incapable of sneaking soundlessly, and that is even if she is able to keep her mouth shut.

Awesome Write !!!!

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 17 2013, 11:28 AM

No probs...

Um, I thought you were joking?... ...

I read yer thingy on the Coffee Shop, bad mood is totally understandable...Bad mood being the lowest setting in the rage-ometer... ...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 17 2013, 07:36 PM

Oh! I WAS joking! I just didn't want you to think I WASN'T joking..

Gehhh...

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 17 2013, 07:39 PM

What? ...

Aaargh!!...

*Despairs some more again!!*...

...

Posted by: Grits Feb 18 2013, 10:33 PM

Whew, I'm caught back up. The vampire children were horrifying! What an awesome idea, and the way Kayla told the story was just chilling.

I was completely shocked by Onmund's death. Completely! I thought the way you presented his funeral was very well done.

And I'm still giggling over Erik's green sword.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 18 2013, 10:40 PM

Oh wow, I didn't know you were reading, Grits! Thank you!!

I had to throw the "green sword" joke in there. I just HAD to. XD

Posted by: Darkness Eternal Feb 18 2013, 10:41 PM

Our dear Kayla has a fanfic? I MUST read it!

Must catch up right away!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 18 2013, 11:04 PM

-rasies eyebrows-

Now I'm getting a bit scared XD

Posted by: Darkness Eternal Feb 18 2013, 11:12 PM

How so?

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 18 2013, 11:16 PM

Remember when I randomly asked you about vampire clans and such? It was for this fanfic. I took some liberties and switched things a bit, so don't get too mad if it doesn't fit with the lore that you sent me.

Don't mind me. I'm nuts.

Posted by: Darkness Eternal Feb 18 2013, 11:17 PM

*prepares crossbow*

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 18 2013, 11:17 PM

Oh shutup XD

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 19 2013, 07:14 AM

Don't worry my dear, I'll protect you...My wings are like a shield of steel!!... ...

And don't worry about the lore...Different Universe...Different lores...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 19 2013, 05:02 PM

Okay, my lovelies, I've resigned myself to a SET schedule. It has been pointed out to me, by several people, that sometimes I post too often. And I do. I get excited and post 1 or 2 days after the last post, and I know that's a big no-no. So! Tuesdays and Saturdays, since I can't stand only updating once a week XD

I want to thank everyone who has stayed with me while I found Kayla's "voice." Luckily she doesn't have a high-pitched, shrill voice, or otherwise I'd quit talking to her XD

@Darkness Eternal, if you DO decide to read, thank you! I'm reading your Lycanthrope Chronicles story right now :]

What went on in the last chapters: Asta the vampire child returned to Kayla and killed her husband. Kayla buried her husband, sold her house, and is now searching for Asta with the help of Lydia, and another worshiper of Meridia, Ma'Dat.

=-=-=


Lydia was, thankfully, talking with Erik and fully clothed. Erik's eyes lit up as he rose from the table. Lydia took a sip of whatever she had in her tankard, a cool expression on her face.

"Kayla!" Erik embraced me. I patted his back and broke the hug, a smile on my face.

"How are you, Erik? You've muscled up! Have you been on any adventures lately?"

He patted his gut. "Not lately. I've been keeping watch over the townsfolk for now. It seems Lemkil can't keep his temper in check, so I'm keeping him in check." Erik leaned in and whispered in my ear. "I've missed you."

"Uhhh." I cleared my throat. "Anyways." I smiled warmly at him. "I see you've met Lydia! Could you give us a moment, Erik?"

Erik nodded and went to talk to his father. Mralki waved at me, and I waved back. I slid in the seat next to Lydia.

"You never told me about the handsome men you meet in your travels! Too bad he's hung up on you." Lydia huffed.

"I never mentioned them because I'm married and the men don't matter to me. Look, as soon as we can, we need to get going. We can stay here for a few days and restock our supplies, but as soon as we do, we need to head towards Solitude."

Lydia blinked at me. "Already? We just got here!"

"That's the life, I'm afraid. Get some sleep. I'll get us rooms."

I headed over to Mralki and got Lydia and I two separate rooms. She would enoy the privacy, and I needed to think. I left Lydia and Erik to talk while I went to my room. I paid Mralki for a plate of seared horker meat in a sweet sauce, a green apple and a slice of bread. I headed to the table in my room, got my ink and parchment ready and jotted down notes between bites.

"Twenty two years ago, a group of 15 men and women went to a vampire lair. The vampires were nearby my town, feeding off the residents and turned the children. I was 11. Only 5 of the group survived. In that lair, there were 30 vampires. 20 children, ten adults of various ages. My sisters, Asta and Eeva, were among those children. Some children were from the town, but not all.

From my guess, they are either missing children or orphans, since no more towns with vampire children have sprung up. My theory is that Movarth used my town as a test-run for his plan. Nedene always said in his mortal life, he was in search of ways to kill every type of vampire in Tamriel. Maybe in his immortal life he was searching for ways to make the perfect vampire?"

I rubbed my eyes. No, that can't be right.

"Or maybe he has some sick fetish that involves children."

I underlined that last sentence. I left the paper on the table as I stripped off my armor and into my travel-bedclothes. I had just pulled back the covers when I heard a knock on my door. I sighed.

"Come in."

Erik's red mane peeked through the door. I ushered him further in, and he closed the door behind him. His face wore an expression of sympathy.

"Lydia told me what happened." His blue eyes crinkled the appropriate amount for one expressing concern. He didn't mention that he hadn't known I was married.

"Did she, now?"

"Yes. And I want to help in any way I can."

I gave him a sharp look. "I don't need help, but thank you. The only way you could help me is by keeping those girls safe. Don't let Lemkil hurt them, and don't hesitate to put down anyone, ANYONE, who would hurt them." I shifted my weight onto one leg, crossing my arms. "I suppose she also told you how he died."

Erik nodded. He crossed the distance between us and tried to put his arms around me, but I caught his arms by the wrists and put them back at his side.

"No. I can't afford pity, or sympathy, or friendship anymore."

"Have you mourned?"

The question startled me. "I've cried all I needed to."

"That's not what I asked, Kayla. If you don't mourn, you will get ill."

"I'll be fine." I let go of his wrists. I hadn't realized I had been gripping them hard until he began to rub them. "I need to get to sleep." I opened the door for him.

"Lydia thinks your handsome. She's a good woman, and a decent fighter. Be gentle with her." I shut the door before he could say anything else. The next few days were going to be dedicated to getting supplies and mapping our way to Meridia's shrine.

I snuffed out the candle on the table and crawled under the covers. I did not sleep one bit.



=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=




Right before dawn, I decided I'd had enough sleeplessness and put on a set of warm clothes. Even though I was only walking about the small town, I strapped Dawnbreaker to my hip anyways. I was tired of being caught without a weapon, and every time I didn't have one, someone got hurt.

I didn't see Erik nor Lydia, but heard Mralki snoring on his cot behind the counter. I smiled touched my lips as I realized exactly what he sacrificed to keep his inn going. Privacy, probably good meals, and his time, most of all. I set a few septims in a dirty tankard behind the counter where he'd most certainly see them.

Once outside, I breathed in the chill, clean air. It was still too early for the sun to come up. It was still pitch dark. Dawnbreaker's glow was dim, and the notion of a voice quiet. I heard a footstep beside me and yanked Dawnbreaker from its sheath and jumped into a defensive stance towards the noise. An excited glow emanated from Dawnbreaker. I heard a throaty chuckle.

"Nisse cannot sleep either?"

I put Dawnbreaker back in its sheath. "You scared me, Ma'Dat." I rubbed the back of my neck as he came into view. His warm feline eyes bore into my own brown ones.

"Is Nisse scared?"

"Terrified," I admitted. "Remember when you carried me out of that cellar? Do you remember what you said to me?"

"'When we get back to city, you wash.'" Ma'Dat laughed. "There was a certain odor that filled Ma'Dat's nose. It was not pleasant."

"I feel a little like that now." The sky began to grow lighter. "Except this time, you can't carry me out of the cellar. I have to climb out and fight the monsters myself."

Ma'Dat's tail flicked, and he embraced me. I dug my nose into the comfort of his furred shoulder and inhaled. His fur smelled clean, and I suspected he had washed especially for my return. We let go and looked at the sky.

We stood in silence, my arm slung over his shoulder while his rested on the small of my waist, watching the sunrise. The stars faded as the dawn pushed the night away and announced itself with a chorus of various bird tweets. Livestock shuffled in their pens and let out their respective sounds. Several guards sighed in releif as their replacements came, and they shuffled off to bed.

Once he sun peeked over the horizon, Ma'Dat yawned and turned to me. "This one is ready for bed." He patted my shoulder and left me standing there. It would be a bit before anyone was awake, so I'd have a few moments alone.

I was suddenly aware of the chill in the air. Ma'Dat had kept me warm, but now I felt the cold. I turned around, and suddenly Erik was there, in front of the inn door with it wide open, almost directly in my face. I screeched and punched him straight in the jaw before I could stop myself. He flew back into the inn, and Lydia laughed hysterically while sitting at the bar while Erik laid motionless on the floor. Mralki sighed and walked over to his son.

"You want to be an adventurer, but you can't even take a punch," he scolded his son as he sat him up. Lydia was still doubled-over in laughter, holding herself up by using the bar. Erik sat up and rubbed his jaw as I ran to him, closing the door against the chill.

"I'm so, SO sorry!" I rushed over to Erik and kneeled next to him. Lydia was still howling with laughter.

Erik waved me away. "I'm fine," he said through clenched teeth. His jaw was already swelling, and when he spoke, I saw the blood on his teeth.

"Erik! Let me get you something to heal that." I ran to my pack and dug in my alchemy ingredients.

"Mralki, do you have any juniper berries?" I called over my shoulder. I kept looking, and pulled out a clove of garlic. I heard Mralki's heavy, thudding footsteps behind me. When I turned around and gave him a questioning look, he grinned and said, "Didn't want to get knocked out too."

He handed me the berries, and I crushed the garlic cloves with the flat of my knife and dropped them in the tankerd of water that i kept on my nightstand. I crushed the juniper berries with my mortar and pestle, and dropped them in the water as well. I brought the mixture to Erik.

"Gods, no," he shook his head "The last time I drank one of those-"

"You got better. And you don't drink it, you swish it around in your mouth." Lydia was nearly blue from losing her breath from laughing. Erik choked on the quick potion, but swished it around for a good bit before spitting it out.

"Was I supposed to chew?" he joked, his face a little green. I helped him up.

"Don't ever scare me like that again!" I scolded. Erik frowned.

"I didn't mean to!" Erik flinched when I touched the bruise. Lydia was now letting out squeaks of laughter. When we all looked at her, she stopped for a moment, and mimed Erik getting punched, complete with an exaggerated look of horror on her face, then resumed laughing.

"Go to bed, Lydia." I I rolled my eyes. She held her stomach and loped off to her room. I looked at Mralki. "Get a patch of snow and put it on his jaw. It will help with the swelling. I need to go restock on some supplies before we leave."

"You're leaving?" Erik asked. I nodded.

"I have things to do. You know what."

I left Lydia's howling behind, mentally ticking off the things I would need. The sun shone clear through the sky, marking a beautiful, yet uneventful, rest of the day.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 19 2013, 09:55 PM

[i]"Or maybe he has some sick fetish that involves children."[/i]



Movarth seems like the type if fellow who would be like that



I almost died of laughter when Erik got punched in the mouth

And he said he'd make a great adventurer....

Posted by: jack cloudy Feb 19 2013, 10:06 PM

Well, I'd rather go with the child-army theory myself.

And Erik's misfortune really shows how much on edge Kayla is. (I'm not gonna call her Nisse. That feels odd to me and the Kayla now is definitely a much different kind of person.) I wonder how long she can keep going before she simply crashes from lack of sleep.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 19 2013, 10:08 PM

Don't worry, jack. Only two people call her Nisse, and that's Ma'Dat and Asta.

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 20 2013, 05:26 AM

*Applauds*... ...

Loved that...Brilliant stuff...

I've hardly ever been to Rorikstead in my playing...I do remember it being verrah verrah prriiittie...

That made me laugh more than the punch did... ...Typical dad... ...I could just hear that "Nord voice" man saying that as well...Which makes it funnier... ...

I love Ma-Dat, he's absolutely my fave character so far...Sorry Kayla... ...But yeah, Ma-Dat rocks!!...Which probably puts a ticking clock on him instantly... ...

Aaaamywhoooo...

Fantastic chapter...Amazing stuff...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: mALX Feb 20 2013, 07:58 AM

I have to agree with Jack here, between not allowing herself to grieve and lack of sleep, Kayla is on edge - and headed for disaster if she tries to handle this alone. Awesome Write!

Posted by: Acadian Feb 22 2013, 12:59 AM

This was a fun, enjoyable episode! Some of the highlights for me –

- Kayla recording her thoughts about the mystery of the children.

- Watching a beautiful sunrise while cuddled with a caring Khajiit.

- A punch in the mouth!

- A reminder of little bug eater’s natural skill with alchemy.

- Thinking that laughing Lydia needs to go onto Kayla's 'punch list'.

- Kayla’s obsessive focus on her quest to hunt down her sister

Posted by: Grits Feb 22 2013, 05:28 PM

What a lovely morning in Rorikstead. I love the description of Dawnbreaker as eager for a fight. And a mouth-punching! I especially enjoyed the alchemy part. I’m really enjoying your characters.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 23 2013, 07:05 AM

@jack: SHHHH, you're not supposed to say anything! XD

@ McBadgere: I love him too! Then again I loved writing Asta... XD

@ mALX: Yeah, but this is KAYLA we're talking about, lmfao

@ Acadian: Glad you liked it :]

@ Grits: I'm glad you're still with us! I enjoy your characters as well... especially Darnand. Hubba-hubba! XD Alchemy is something I'm really interested in. The whole "herbs to cure all ails" is fun for me.


Previous chapter: Kayla has been sent to Meridia's shrine by Ma'Dat, the old Khajiit who helped raise her after rescuing her from her ghost town full of vampire children 22 years ago.



=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-



The breath left my lungs in a WHOOSH, and I gripped the front of my shirt, willing myself to breath. I glanced up to see an ice spike heading straight for my chest, and rolled right before it impaled itself in my heart. It shattered against the cave wall, and the vampire Mist-walker howled with rage.

I took in a lungful of the putrid, stifling air of the cave, and propelled myself upwards onto my feet. I gripped Dawnbreaker in my right hand, loading fire into the other. Dawnbreaker hummed with ecstatic anticipation, the glow white-hot. I felt its need to separate the vampire's head from its body. I would gladly participate.

The vampire flung another ice spike at me, but I easily dodged it and hurled my own firebolt, running towards the vampire. The vampire sidestepped it and before it could load another attack, I rammed my shoulder into it, knocking it down. It let out a snarl as it thumped to the floor, dazed. I put my foot on its chest, but instead of surrendering, it raked it claws alongside my unprotected calf, shredding the skin.

I screamed in pain, and it used the distraction to pull my leg out from under me, causing me to lose my balance and fall. It rolled on top of me, jaws snapping and saliva dripping. I gagged at the smell of death on the vampire's breath, struggling to keep its teeth connecting with my flesh. It laughed, and I realized that even up against my face, I couldn't tell what gender the vampire was, or even the race. The face was gaunt and bloodless, the cartilage in the nose seemingly nonexistent, giving the face an eerie fleshy reflection of a bare skull.

"Tell me what you know about a child vampire!" I demanded. The vampire stopped snapping at me and a confused expression replaced the enraged one.

"You can't make demands! I've got you on the ground!"

"Oh yes I can! TELL ME!"

The vampire looked bewildered. I used this opportunity to bring my knee up and hit the vampire in the groin. Male or female, the vampire looked like it saw stars as it clutched itself and rolled off of me. I rolled over on top of it, pinning its chest to the ground with my knee. My blood seeped into its robe, and I grunted in pain. I set the point of Dawnbreaker in the ground next to the vampire's eyes, and it stopped struggling.

"The last vampire who didn't cooperate with me had her skull melted from the inside out. Now," I pressed all of my weight into the vampire's spine, causing it to screech in pain. "Tell me about the vampire child. What is she doing? Where is she?" I felt a few pops under my knee.

"I don't know! No one knows!" Spittle flew from the vampire's mouth onto the cave floor. "She never stays with any nests! Some say she was Movarth's favorite, naturally gifted to stalk in silence. The body of a child meant no one would ever suspect she was more than she was!" The vampire panted. "I've told you everything! Let me go!"

I said nothing, but pushed Dawnbreaker into the vampire's heart through its back. Dawnbreaker glowed emphatically while the vampire stiffened, a pained, choking sound escaping from it, then sighed in satisfaction when I pulled it out of the walking corpse's corpse. I sat down on the cave floor and brought a cloth out from my pack. I cleaned Dawnbreaker of the blood before setting it aside to inspect my wound.

The muscles were barely touched, but it was still enough to cause a great deal of pain. Alongside my right calf, too. I pulled a cure disease potion out of my pack, along with a stamina potion and health potion. I drank the cure disease potion in one gulp, but mixed the stamina potion with my water. I poured the healing potion onto my calf and hissed as the healing properties took effect. I'd have a new scar, but that was alright. No one was going to be seeing my body.

I drank the stamina potion while I leaned against the cave wall. Closer to Meridia's shrine meant it was time to bring an offering, and the head of a vampire Mist-walker would do. Only sleeping a few hours each day for the past few weeks was exhausting, but what was more exhausting was finding no one who knew where Asta was.

I leaned my head back for a moment, resting my eyes. When I opened them, I was stiff, like I had been sitting there for a while. My rear-end was numb, and my neck hurt. I cursed and jumped up, my legs wobbly from falling asleep. I sheathed Dawnbreaker, gathered up the supplies, leaving the bloodied rags on the cave floor.

The healing potion healed most of the damage, but left the muscle and skin a bit tender. Once I climbed out of the cave, a dark sky dotted with stars greeted me. I cursed. I would have to rest in the cave for the night, and continue in the morning when my strength was up.

I slid down the cave entrance, sulking. I shouldn't have left Lydia in Solitude. I thought she would slow me down, but had she been with me, I might not have gotten hurt so badly. Then again, she looked pretty cozy next to Sorex Vinius. The handsome Imperial man took a liking to Lydia almost as soon as she did to him. That made it easy to slip out undetected.

One of the vampires already had a fire going, so I cleared out a small area for me to rest and eat in. I looked around the cave, and was surprised at the contrast. Amongst the bones of their victims, pools of dried and congealed blood, and the stench of death, were wardrobes of rich fabric, books, and silver dishes.

I shook my head. Out of curiosity, I wandered over to the bookshelves to see what vampires read. Immortal Blood. Of course. I sighed and read the titles on the spines of the rest of the books.

Lusty Argonian Maid, The Real Berenziah, Darkest Darkness, A Tragedy in Black... I was beginning to see a pattern. Under one of the beds I spotted what looks like to be a journal. I reached under and picked up the journal. Streaks of brown smeared the cover, and brown fingerprints dotted the first few pages. The spine creaked when I opened the journal, and a few pages hung loose, almost to falling out. I read the first page.

"I'm sick of having no one to talk to, so I got this journal. Ma says the nightmares will go away as soon as my body stops changing, and that almost everyone goes through it, but I'm not sure..."

I skipped a few pages.

"I dreamt about it again. Swirling crimson orbs of pain in my head, followed by a relief and a warm feeling. I keep getting sicker and sicker, and the alchemist keeps giving me treatments, asks if I've been bitten by any animals, but I haven't. I haven't so much as stubbed my toe in the past few months. What could be wrong?"

I skipped a few more pages. I stopped when I came to a page with more brown smears than the rest.

"I fed for the first time tonight. Asta taught me how to dig my fangs into the neck to get at the vein that carries more blood. The sweetness of the neighbor boy's blood filled my mouth..."

Horrified, I went a few pages back and read.

"A child with raven curls and crimson eyes spoke to me today... promised me a life of understanding... She even knew my name was Akrya."

I slammed the journal shut. Then it dawned on me. The brown stains were not dirt, but old blood. I dropped the book onto the bed and searched for more journals. No other papers mentioned Asta, and no other journals were found. I sighed and reached for the bloodied journal again. I looked at the last entry.

"Asta is moving. She cannot stay in one place too long, for her sister hunts her. She continues to collect her army, and promises that Tamriel will be ours. While the empire fight with Ulfric and the Thalmor, a silent and unexpected enemy shall rise from the shadows and tear the throats of the unsuspecting.."

I dropped the journal. She was going to do it. She was going to keep Movarth's plan going. My hands shook as they picked up the journal again. No mention of her whereabouts, no mention of anything, except that Akrya was to go to Asta and meet her. She had been targeting small villages and settlements across Skyrim, and was moving to Cyrodiil, Hammerfell, and High Rock.

She was expanding. How long before her plans took her to Elswyr? The Summerset Isles? Black Marsh? Valenwood? What about beyond? How great were her numbers? What were her next moves? Akrya's journal mentioned the orphanage in Riften. I could send word to Mjoll the Lioness and see if she could help. A lone adventurer had gotten Grimsever back for her, and Aerin had written me back about it.

I snapped the journal shut with such force that the cave echoed with the sound. How was I supposed to do this alone? I resigned myself to making plans mentally until sleep crept up on me, forcing my planning to become nightmares of gnashing children's mouths and orbs of swirling crimson pain.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 23 2013, 07:10 AM

Kayla is still unsuccessful in hunting down Asta? At least that journal provided a good clue


Excellent chapter

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 23 2013, 10:26 AM

OOooh, I'm starting to get a Magnificent Seven vibe going on in the back of my mind reading this...Not sure if it's something in yer story or it's just me...Nah, probably me...Sorry...

Aaaamywho...

Loved this chapter...Very cool how she can dispatch the vampires easily...I'm afraid Dawnbreaker was hung on a weapon rack when J'zirlo got it...His ebony one was, sadly, a bit more killy-stab-stab than the shiny-one was...But, I do love that glowing thing in the guard...That's cool that is...

Um...Oh yeah, that was definately a cool and ace chapter...Going through the vampire's stuff and seeing their reading material was cool...

And then the journal...That's just scary that is...Kids scare me... ...Vampire kids...*Scared*...

Really looking forward to what follows with great looking-forward-to-ness... ...

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Feb 23 2013, 02:39 PM

Asta's continuing Morvarth's plan and raising her own undead kiddy army? Egad!

Loved the fight scene at the opening of this; gritty, realistic and an engaging struggle for Kayla, and the signs of exhaustion and wear at this are beginning to show nicely. Kayla had better be careful or else she's not going to be in a good state to face Asta if she ever finds her.

Posted by: Acadian Feb 24 2013, 09:21 PM

Opening in the middle of a dire fight! Whew, Kayla survived that one. I can see again how important her whizbang sword and natural skill with potions are to the vampire huntress.

Very well done with the journal! Both its content and how Kayla bounced around among its bloody pages to learn some terrifying new info on Asta. But still no location on Morvath’s miniature monster (for she is Kayla’s sister no longer) as our tired elf tumbles into a restless sleep.

Posted by: jack cloudy Feb 24 2013, 09:38 PM

And this is why you never gloat about your plans, or write them down for that matter.

At least we know two things. One, Asta has been northways in the past few weeks. (Cause little vampy mentioned the hunting sister and I doubt kayla was much of a priority before Onmund and Movarth.) Two, she's still recruiting.

And a potential third. While I need more specimen to proof my theory, Asta could have a preference for little girls. You know, because they've got that extra bit of innocence little boys lack. Edit, make that a very potential third. The gender is never mentioned, but Akrya sounds like a girl's name to me.


I also like how Dawnbreaker keeps humming with excitement when it gets to kill the undead and pouts like a spoiled kid when it doesn't. It very much feels like a part of Meridia that way.


Oh, and is Lydia going to get a guy in every town? She's getting more conquests than the Whiterun bard at this rate.

Posted by: mALX Feb 25 2013, 01:57 AM

*

WOO HOO! Great line! The description of the vampire was chilling! That part with the journal - Holy Cow, this chapter was awesome! HUGE Write !!!!!


*

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 26 2013, 07:53 PM

@ KOB: So far, nothing really solid has come up. Kayla is still on her path for vengeance

@McBadgere: I had to look that movie up, and now I want to watch it. I love westerns!!!! And kid ANYTHING terrifies me. Vampires, zombies, werewolves, kids with magickal powers... they're so naive and unpredictable. And prone to tantrums.


@ His Royal Mustardness: Yep. She sho' is.


@Acadian: Kayla relies heavily on Dawnbreaker, now more than ever. Now that her thirst for undead blood has become greater, Dawnbeaker is beginning to become more "vocal," though only Kayla can hear it in her head.


@ jack cloudy: I will explain why in a later chapter, but Asta has left Kayla alone for the most part. Once she killed Movarth, well, that made Asta angry. And very astute on the little detail about her preferring girls!

Like I told Acadian, Dawnbreaker is like an arm to Kayla now. She clings to it like a kid would a security blanket. She reminds me of a cousin I have in law enforcement. She keeps her gun on her at all times and is antsy when she doesn't have it RIGHT THERE. Even at my bridal shower, where she was completely safe, she clung to her purse and kept it under her arm.

And who knows? Maybe Lydia has finally found the one conquest she would like to stick around for

@mALX: Thaaaaaaank yooooouuuuuu :]



==========---------------------------==================




"You look terrible."

Erik's face was lined with concern. I snorted.

"You're not too tan yourself there, stud."

I let out a hollow cough as I fell into a seat at the Frostfruit Inn back in Rorikstead. Erik's blue eyes studied my nearly gaunt face, once tan with sun, now almost pallid white and drawn with exhaustion.

"You need to slow down. Rest."

"I need to kill Asta. And stop her army."

"Army? Have you talked with General Tullius? Ulfric? Anyone?"

"No one believes the raving Altmer who seeks out vampire lairs on purpose." I leaned back in the chair. "Where's Ma'Dat?"

"On his way."

As if summoned, the wind blew the door open with Ma'Dat striding through the doorway. He closed it and glanced at me. His eyes narrowed, and his ears flattened.

"And how is Nisse feeling?"

I blinked at his strange behaviour. "Uhm, fine. A little tired and weak, but that could be from not eating and sleeping much during the trip."

"And where is Lydia?"

"Why, Ma'Dat?"

"Is just a question."

"I don't like this."

Suddenly, Ma'Dat's behaviour changed. His ears twitched back to normal, and he grinned like only Khajiit can.

"Ma'Dat was only curious. Come, let us discuss what you've found. I'll order us some drinks."

While Ma'Dat got the drinks, Erik and I sat down. He watched me warily.

"Kayla, I don't mean to pry, but you have never looked so..."

"So...?"

"Awful."

I rolled my eyes. "You sure do know how to make a girl feel special, Erik."

Ma'Dat came up with our drinks. Mead for him and Erik, and wine for me.

"I've tracked Asta's movements using journals I've found. One of her minions, Akrya, is very careless when it comes to what she leaves behind. I found the first journal in Pinemoon cave, then another closer to Meridia's shrine-"

"And what did our ladyship say?"

I swirled the wine around in my glass. "I didn't go."

Ma'Dat's ears flattened for a moment, then eased up. "No matter."

I took a big gulp of my wine. Erik raised his eyebrows but said nothing, and Ma'Dat looked at me expectantly.

"What?"

Then it hit me. There was something under the bite of the alcohol in the wine. I stumbled out of my chair, knocking it back. Erik's panicked face looked at Ma'Dat before jumping up to catch me.

"Kayla!!" I stopped moving, My body was stiff, but my eyes rolled in my head to see what was going on around me. I heard Erik's panicked voice next to me.

"She's been poisoned!"

"This one put a paralyze potion in her drink."

"What?! Why?"

I could taste the rage at Ma'dat on my tongue. Ma'Dat instructed Erik to put me on my bed. While Erik picked me up and Ma'Dat explained what was going on, I seethed.

"Has Nisse been acting weird?" Ma'Dat asked.

"Well, beside her being hellbent on killing her sister to avenge her husband, not sleeping for days, barely eating, hardly ever bathing, abandoning Lydia in Solitude, and just looking awful, nope. She's normal."

I heard Ma'Dat snort while he poured a liquid. "Check her neck, her arms, everywhere you can. Look for bite marks."

"What's going on?" Erik asked. He obediently checked my neck, lifted my arms, and lifted up a pants leg. I watched his face the whole time. He was expressionless, only his brows knitting and unknitting when he examined and found no bite marks.

"She has a new scar on her leg. Looks like claw marks. A wolf?"

"Move." Ma'Dat quickly shuffled into my view while Erik moved out of it. Ma'Dat lifted the leg Erik had been looking at. My finger twitched. Ma'Dat examined the old wound carefully.

"Could be wolf. Could be sabrecat claws. Could also be vampire claws. Could be any number of things." He set my leg down, turned back around, and Erik stared at my face.

"Can she hear us?" He asked. I blinked furiously at him.

"Yes," Ma'Dat asnwered. He came around Erik with a vial in his hands. At Erik's questioning look, Ma'Dat simply said, "To cure her."

"Of what?!"

"She is infected with the vampire disease."

Erik's face blanched. He looked like he wanted to run away, but a look of resolve washed over his face. "And that stuff in the vial will cure her?"

"Yes." Ma'Dat pried my mouth open. My finger twitched again, and I let out an angry sound that was garbled. My muscles weren't completely under my control anymore, though the movement in my fingers were beginning to obey me. I made a fist and willed my arm to connect with Ma'Dat's head, but it wouldn't move.

Useless!!

"The potion is wearing off. Quickly, pour the liquid in her mouth before it wears off completely."

I coughed and gasped as the sour liquid snaked its way down my throat. I tried to bite down on Ma'Dat's fingers, but he kept my mouth pried open. When the last of the horrendous liquid was gone, Erik straightened up and looked at me. I couldn't read his expression, and didn't care to.

"How long before the cure sets in?"

"Once her body starts digesting it, we can consider her cured. About an hour. We need to keep an eye on her, keep her from vomiting it up."

"Why would she do that?"

"It is not Nisse's doing, it is the disease. Once a victim becomes infected, the disease fights to stay in the body. It will make its host attack anyone until the victim is completely turned."

"And then what?"

Ma'Dat picked up another vial and swished it around. He uncorked it and brought it to my lips. He spoke as he poured it down my throat. Defeated, I drank it without a fuss.

"And then they are vampire."

Erik looked confused. "Is vampirism a parasite?"

"It can be described as such. But the reality is more complicated." Ma'Dat's ears twitched. "Many friends of Ma'Dat's have been infected. I have seen them tear at their own skin in order to feed, only to become more enraged. The effects of different strains of the diseases vary, and of course, most vampires will say they are not parasitic hosts."

"How many different types of vampirism are there?"

"Many. Each province has a different type with different abilities. But we are in Skyrim, and we worry about Skyrim vampires right now."

My eyelids started to droop. Ma'Dat gave me a mournful look. "Nisse will sleep through the cure. It is better this way. But we will be nearby, watching you."

I fell asleep.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


Erik watched as Ma'Dat rifled through Kayla's papers. The old Khajiit wasted no time in opening every scrap of parchment and reading it several times over. Kayla's breathing was even and slow as the sleeping potion did its work.

Ma'Dat made little noises of disgust and delight as he read. Erik picked up a worn, dirt-smeared journal and began to read. His eyes widened in horror and he snapped the defiled book shut.

"I think I know what happened to Kayla. Why she got infected."

Ma'dat looked at Erik sharply. "And what did Erik find?" He set down the papers he was holding and grabbed the book from Erik's outstretched hands.

"Here, this page." Erik opened the book for Ma'Dat and let him read. "This child Akrya was infected over a period of time, not all at once. Maybe Asta is doing that to Kayla?"

"It would explain why Nisse cannot find her. Perhaps she is closer than we think." Ma'dat tapped the book with a furred finger. "We need to study this journal. Find out everything we can about Asta." He looked at Kayla's sleeping form. "This one finds himself in doubt, though. Why would a vampire leave their journal in an easy spot where Nisse could find it?"

Erik furrowed his brow. "I don't know. A trap?" He massaged his temples. "Let's get to reading. I'll sit by her and keep an eye on her."

Ma'Dat shot Erik a knowing look before sitting down on the bench, gathering up a stack of papers to read. Erik busied himself with the journal, casting sideways glances at Kayla once in a while.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 26 2013, 08:05 PM

Kayla has been infected?

So, that journal was left there for a reason? Hmmm...Ma'Dat could be right about it being a trap, but for all we know Asta could just be trying to tick Kayla off by leaving clues without enough evidence!

For some reason I really enjoyed the way you described this! It was simply epic to imagine!



I enjoyed reading this chapter a lot, excellent job

Posted by: Burnt Sierra Feb 26 2013, 11:36 PM

Right, well I've read this through in one sitting, which is always a sign that a story has managed to hook me.

Consider me hooked.

You certainly have a talent for creating interesting characters - sympathetic characters one minute, whilst making me want to slap some sense into them the next. Especially Onmund, well perhaps more accurately the relationship that you evoked between Nisse/ Kayla and Onmund. Funny one minute, destructive the next (the scene where Onmund comes in drunk, and his explanation after was superb. I really hated him one moment, and really felt I understood him the next), and unbearably sad.

Perhaps that's what struck me the most. Humour and adventure, pathos and sadness, and a sense of emotional truth. There were scenes (the above mentioned and the flashback of Nisse in the cellar spring to mind), where I truly and completely was in the moment, disturbed by the emotions you were bringing up in me.

Like I said, consider me hooked.

Story. Good. More! - please

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 27 2013, 01:05 AM

Wow, just...WOW. that really caught me off guard, Burnt Sierra. Thank you for your compliments. I kind of needed them, lol

Posted by: King Coin Feb 27 2013, 05:19 AM

I'm caught up again! Onmund's death was a shock. Holy crap I don't think anyone saw that coming. Ma'Dat is such a cool character that you introduced in her memories as a child and then brought back when she sets out on her mission of vengeance. You better not kill him by the way. I like your version of Lydia too. Much more of a sense of humor than most portrayals.

Posted by: McBadgere Feb 27 2013, 05:37 AM

*Applauds massively*...

Dear Gods, I thought this story was good before...

This has really hit some sort of different gear!!...*Unsure of what smiley will suffice here*...

It's going to be sooo long before anyone finds out why I grinned like a loon when I read that...But still...*Applauds while grinning*...

The whole thing was amazing...

Ooooh shiver inducing moment btw...



Loved that!!...

An amazing chapter...Truly amazing stuff...

Nice one!!...

*Applauds heartily*...

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Feb 27 2013, 05:55 AM

Let's see if anyone else gets it XD

Posted by: King Of Beasts Feb 27 2013, 06:08 AM

I....I think I get it.

Posted by: Acadian Feb 27 2013, 11:02 PM

‘I made a fist and willed my arm to connect with Ma'Dat's head, but it wouldn't move.’
How frustrating! The mouth puncher laid low by paralysis.

A roller coaster here. Has the old Khajiit gone over to the dark side? Maybe not. Okay – no, for sure. In fact, he may be Kayla’s savior. You did a nice job with Ma'Dat here.

The hints regarding possible size and scope of Asta’s web are terrifying. She may appear a child, but she's had nearly two decades to hone her skills.

Posted by: mALX Feb 28 2013, 07:08 AM

*

First off, I am so sorry it took so long to get here and read - very hectic week.

These were wonderfully written and immersive - very natural feel here! Wonder what is up with Ma'Dat? Holy Crap! From the point where Ma'Dat paralyzes Kayla to the end - I'd have to quote the whole section!

I thought it was funny that Erik immediately trusted/believed Ma'Dat (who just poisoned his good friend, was acting unlike himself, and rifled through her things without her permission) - Kayla is surrounded by people who will turn on her at the drop of a hat! First Onmund, now Ma'Dat and Erik - No wonder Kayla feels safest when she is a loner!

Riveting storyline, I am loving it! Awesome and very immersive Write !!!


*

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 2 2013, 07:04 AM

I wanted to thank everyone for their comments. I appreciate them! :]


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=



I awoke groggy and stiff. Ma'Dat was lighting another lantern to light the dark room up when I opened my eyes. I groaned. A thump turned my head to my left, and Erik jumped at the sound of the book in his hands hitting the floor. He blinked a few times and turned my way.

"Kayla!" He kneeled next to the bed as I sat up. "How are you feeling?"

"Bucket."

"What?"

"BUCKET!"

Ma'Dat had a bucket ready when I leaned over and vomited. Erik gagged and stood up.

"Is that normal?!" He exclaimed, holding his nose and coughing.

"Yes," Ma'Dat said as I threw up again. He shot Erik a sly look. "You want to be an adventurer, but you can't even stand vomit." His tail flicked mischievously.

Erik scowled, but didn't reply. I spat and wiped my mouth, shuddering. I crossed my arms, gasping.

"Nisse needs to breathe slow," Ma'Dat said calmly, "Otherwise more vomiting will happen." I took in a slow, deep breath through my nose. A stray bit of vomit got caught in my throat and I leaned over, vomiting again. Erik left the room.

"How long was I out?" I wiped my mouth with the cloth Ma'Dat handed me. He returned to the papers on the desk.

"6 hours," He shuffled some papers and straightened them out. "Erik and Ma'Dat have learned what you have. We have suspicions about Asta." He narrowed his eyes at me. "We think she is following you. Infecting you. That is why you came back infected." Ma'Dat rubbed his temples with one hand. "Nisse, tell Ma'Dat the truth. Where is Lydia? Did Nisse harm her?"

"No! I would never-" I gulped. "I left her in Solitude. Just walked out at night. And then..."

Ma'Dat's ears flattened. "And then what?"

"I...don't know. I kept walking. Until I got to Pinemoon cave, where I found the journal. I killed anything I came across and interrogated who I could. What are you looking at me like that for?"

Ma'Dat's face was drawn back in a snarl. His ears were flattened completely and his tail was swishing dangerously.

"Asta's influence goes back farther than Ma'Dat thought," He hissed. "Ma'Dat thinks Asta has been near Nisse this whole time. Ever since Asta killed Nisse's mate."

"Wha..." My mouth wouldn't work. It hung open, and I took in a deep breath. "How did you figure this out?"

"Erik did." Ma'Dat snorted. "Ma'Dat has been hunting vampires for thirty years, and a whelp of a boy who can't even swing his sword correctly caught it."

"Don't even start that again." I rolled my eyes. Ma'Dat chuckled. He slid from the bench to the bed and sat down next to me. I put my arms around him in a hug and sighed. He grasped me back, and gave me a gentle squeeze.

"Nisse needs to stop getting herself into trouble. It worries Ma'Dat. This old cat is not a cub anymore."

I smiled and pulled back. "Remember when you, Nedene, and Jon brought me back to the city?"

Ma'Dat grinned. "You held onto my tail for dear life." His tailed swished beside him. "I never understood why you clung to me, but never to the Mer woman or the Nord man. Surely they were less frightening to a sheltered child than a Cat-Man?"

"Out of the three of you, you were the only one to rush towards me and pick me up when I fell. You didn't care that I stunk, nor did you make fun of me for stinking. You let me cling to you. You were gentle, and that was exactly what I needed at the time." I leaned my head on his shoulder. Ma'Dat patted my arm lovingly.

"This one is sorry for the deception. But those infected with the disease-"

"Don't want it to be cured. I know. You act like I am new to this."

Ma'Dat smiled. "And yet Nisse keeps getting infected like she is." The tip of his tail flicked. He was nervous. "Ma'Dat has a contact in Riften. A Bosmer in the Thieves Guild."

"The Thieves Guild?" I wrinkled my nose in disgust. "Why would you send me there?"

"Do not judge, Nisse, for Ma'Dat was a thief before he pledge himself to Meridia."

"Oh." Open mouth, insert boot.

"Do not worry. Ma'Dat made a terrible thief. A conscience makes for a terrible ally when thieving." The whiskers on his face twitched, and his eyes slid to the door half a moment before Erik opened it. He looked green.

"Gods, it smells like vomit in here!"

My mouth twitched in a smile, and Ma'Dat's whiskers twitched in a similar fashion. Ma'Dat handed Erik the bucket with my vomit in it, and Erik gagged, running from the room. The old cat wheezed a laugh and I snorted.

"You're terrible to him! The poor man!" I laughed. Ma'Dat set the bucket by the doorway and sat back down next to me.

"The contact in Riften. We must get back to that. Niruin knows the underground workings like only a thief can. If anyone has an idea of where Asta is, it would be him." Ma'Dat suddenly grabbed one of my shoulders with his hand and looked me straight in the eye. There was a wild look about his face, and suddenly I was very frightened.

"Nisse needs to remember what Ma'Dat is about to say. And do not forget it. The world of thievery is perilous. Sometimes those who pretend to be Nisse's friend are the worst villains of all."

As suddenly as it appeared, the wild look vanished, and Ma'Dat was again, composed. His lips pulled back in that almost-curled smile that Khajiit have as he continued like he had never temporarily gone mad.

"Ma'Dat has already sent a courier to Niruin. He will be expecting you. Rest up. It is still night, but Erik and Ma'Dat will keep looking through your findings."

I nodded and laid back down. Ma'Dat grabbed the bucket full of my vomit, and, with a mischievous wink, closed the door behind him. I heard Erik wail in disgust. I laughed, harder than I had in a while.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Mar 2 2013, 07:09 AM

I THOUGHT SO!

Kayla needs vampire repellent. You know, like repellent for bugs, except this one's for vampires? Eh? I'm not funny



Excellent chapter! I can really see the bond Kayla and Ma'Dat share!

Great write my friend

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Mar 2 2013, 04:43 PM

So Asta's been close at hand the whole time, eh? Cunning girl, she is. Very, very cunning indeed. And what's happening with Lydia?!

I loved Ma'Dat in these last two chapters, especially the way he was ribbing Erik all the time; that was a lot of fun to read, and a good way to keep the tone from descending into complete darkness and despair. I liked it, a lot.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 2 2013, 04:47 PM

Kayla can't descend into darkness and despair again. At least right now XD I don't have the heart to get into that mindset and write that right now. Can't handle it.

Posted by: Acadian Mar 3 2013, 02:01 PM

The intrigue surrounding Asta continues to grow.

You did a great job in this episode of adding a constant and setting-appropriate source of chuckles that wove through this quite otherwise serious scene – the ever present bucket of Erik-slaying.

Ma’Dat continues to shine, and consulting the guild of thieves has always been a useful tactic when seeking to pull information from shadows.

Posted by: mALX Mar 3 2013, 03:07 PM

First off, I am so sorry it took so long to get here and read - very hectic week.

Now... GAAAAAH! I still don't trust Ma'Dat! Half the time he is the cat she knows, the rest he is acting strange - Kayla may be tired and weak, but she hasn't slept so has an excuse. Maybe Ma'Dat is knocking her out to give her the disease for Asta! Urk !!!

I must say, I was glad NOT to have eaten anything before the beginning of this chapter, urgh, lol.


Awesome Write!

Posted by: jack cloudy Mar 3 2013, 07:18 PM

Hmm, I suppose Ma'Dat doesn't explain enough to completely take away all suspicion but his story makes enough sense to me. Consider:

1: Kayla planned to present a vampire head to the Daedric prince of the Spanish Inquisition. She even had said head ready. But she didn't go to Meridia. I guess Meridia wouldn't be very appreciative of having her champion infected.

2: If Akrya likes her journals so much, why does she leave them behind every time they pack up?

Posted by: King Coin Mar 4 2013, 07:51 AM

Glad Ma’Dat is more prepared than Erik is.

Oh my gosh, scary thinking that Lydia could be dead, infected, or… just fine like Kayla thinks.

Poor Erik! Funny how Ma’Dat goes from all business one moment, to tormenting Erik the next.

Posted by: Burnt Sierra Mar 4 2013, 05:36 PM

Interesting. I re-read this post a couple of times, as I was trying to decide myself whether Ma'Dat could be trusted, and whilst Cloudy makes good points there, it still doesn't quite explain this bit:



Foreshadowing or genuine concern? And the wild look from nowhere? Hmm. And is it just me, or does this seem a little convenient?



Could that be subtle manipulation? Reading back the previous post to this, it strikes me that Ma'Dat may have been giving Eric just enough information for him to come to that conclusion himself...maybe.

Oooh, I do so love a puzzle!!! Sorry for the quote fest - and I didn't even quote some of the lines that made me chuckle! - but it had to be done

Terrific story, truly enjoying this...

S.G.M. - please

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 4 2013, 06:31 PM

-rubs hands together laughing maniacally-

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 5 2013, 06:28 AM

I will not be updating tomorrow. It's been a busy week, and was planning on pulling an all-nighter to finish the chapter but in light of recent events (robbery/shooting in front of my damn door) I will be moving. So packing all day for the next few days. I will still be on, however, not sure when I will be able to focus long enough to write.

Posted by: Grits Mar 5 2013, 12:06 PM

Good luck with your move. I hope everything goes well for you. And whenever you’re ready to write more of Kayla’s story, I’ll be reading it.

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Mar 5 2013, 02:53 PM

Fair enough, and I wish you the best of luck with the move; besides, it leaves the rest of us here to panic and stew over what Ma'Dat's plans may or may not be all the longer.

And on the subject of that Khajiit...

I don't think he's in cahoots with Asta. If he was, it makes no sense for him to be doing what he's doing right now; he would have simply handed Kayla over to her when Kayla first arrived back whilst infected, and him dragging Erik into proceedings only serves to complicate his plans further. So, that basically leaves us with three possibilities;

Possibility 1: Ma'Dat is in fact entirely trustworthy, and Elizabeth is doing all of this double-bluffing ambiguity stuff to mess with our heads and troll us.

Possibility 2 (and most likely, I reckon): Ma'Dat has plans of his own that relate to neither Kayla nor Asta's plan.

Possibility 3: He's in cahoots with Asta, but is actually very stupid and Asta has got herself a pretty rubbish minion.

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 9 2013, 04:53 PM

Hey y'all!

A couple of points I'm going to touch up on, since it's my duty to clear up any loose ends.

Lydia: Kayla DID leave her in Solitude. She got up and walked out, just like she said. Being an Altmer, Kayla is very weak against magick, of all types. Suggestion, damage, illusion, and other various magick types. She wears no type of protection against it, and thus far has not worn any. This is not an oversight but a sense of pride in her. She feels like she can deal with whatever comes and because she has not DIED from it, won't wear any, unless someone gives her protection. Lydia has not left Solitude yet. She's still there. I will explain what she is doing in later chapters, but she's fine.

Meridia: Ever notice that Meridia's followers don't ever go near the shrine once they're infected? They beg her to cleanse them of the disease, but she lets them rot? SHE LETS THEM ROT. Kayla knew, on some level, that she was infected, and refused to go near the shrine. She had an offering all prepared, but...

Asta's influence: The only thing I can say here without giving too much away is Asta is near, but not as near as Ma'Dat, Erik, and Kayla think. She deserves the credit, but there's a small flaw in their thinking, and that is that Asta knows what she is doing.

Ma'Dat: All I will say is that with Ma'Dat, Meridia comes first. Period.

Ma'Dat and Asta being on the same team would be a terrible plot device, not to mention out of character for both Ma'Dat AND Asta.

Akrya: Ah, the journals. We'll come to that soon enough. For now, I'll leave you wondering.

Thanks for the comments, speculations, and such! They help me work out any holes in my plot and be more creative. :]


Previously: Ma'Dat sent Kayla to Riften to seek out his contact in the Thieves guild, Niruin.

Currently: Kayla arrives in Riften and heads straight to The Ragged Flagon.









=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-





I picked my way through the filth of the Ratway toward The Ragged Flagon. Torches along the wall lit the way to the dingy bar beneath the city. When I pushed through the door, the hallways opened up into a circular stone room. I walked along the side to a large man.

"Excuse me, I'm looking-"

"Don't you have any manners? At least introduce yourself."

"Uh-"

"Name's Dirge. Wanna know why?"

"Tell me."

"If you cause any trouble, I'm the last thing you'll hear before they put you in the ground."

I stood stunned before breaking out into laughter that echoed through the room. A few of the patrons turned and stared while Dirge said in a shocked voice, "You got a problem with my name?!"

"No!" I laughed. "It's just really clever!"

Dirge almost cracked a smile. "Well, alright. But don't go causing any trouble. I mean it."

I walked towards the barkeep. Several people with shifty looks about them watched me from the corners of their eyes.

"I'm here to see Niruin." I said, leaning my hands on the wooden bar. The sewer smell permeated the air, but everyone in the room didn't seem to notice. I breathed through my mouth, which did not help much.

"And who wants to see him?"

"Ma'Dat sent me. I'm Kayla."


The barkeep, whom Ma'Dat said was Vekel the Man, snorted. "You'll have to do better than that. That old cat was a terrible thief, his word holds no sway here."

The sound of my fists hitting the wooden bar echoed dully throughout the room. Dirge put his hand on his sword and took a step towards me, but I made no movement towards the Nord in front of me.

"Ma'Dat is the reason that vampiric children do not feast on your blood at this very moment! For thirty years he has protected Skyrim from the undead, and you say his words hold no sway here?! How dare you!"

I felt a meaty hand on my shoulder.

"That's enough," Dirge growled. "I don't want to have to hurt you."

Vekel laughed as I shrugged Dirge's hand from my shoulder. I spat on the ground near the bar and turned on my heel. Dawnbreaker bounced angrily on my hip as I exited the Ratway and headed upwards. The sun had already begun to set, and I headed to my room at The Bee and Barb.

I headed past the Argonian couple running the inn and slammed the door to my room. I fumed aloud.

"Who does he think he is? Telling me Ma'Dat's influence does not reach the Thieves Guild. Vampires would be feasting on their corpses if not for Ma'Dat!" I kicked the bedpost of the bed.

"That was a bit unneccessary."

I jumped and pinned the figure behind me against the wall with my forearm, cocking a fist.

"Who are you? Get out of my room? What do you want?" I pressed my elbow against his chest, and he smiled beneath his hood.

"What's so funny?" I demanded.

"No wonder you can't get any information. Your persuasion skills leave something to be desired."

I scowled.

"I'm going to reach up and pull my hood off." He stated. "Please do not injure my face." He reached up and pulled his hood down, revealing the rest of his grey skin. He was the most handsome Bosmer I'd ever seen.

"Uh... Buh..."

"I am Niruin," He said. His golden eyes peered up at me. "I am the contact Ma'Dat spoke of." His speech was formal and polite, his voice smooth. He gave me a small smile. "The old Khajiit never told me his protege was so beautiful. Tell me," He cocked his handsome face to the side, as if I wasn't still pinning him to the wall. "What is it that you're looking for? Or whom?"

"My sister." I kept the pressure on his chest. He politely raised his eyebrows, and I went on. "She is amassing an army of vampiric children in her likeness, and I need to take her down. But I have to find her first."

Niruin's face never moved from its neutral expression, except to raise his brows. He stared into my eyes, silent for a moment, before saying anything.

"I believe I know to whom you are referring. But before I render my services, we need to discuss payment."

"Payment? Didn't Ma'Dat already pay you?"

"That he did," He gave me a beautiful, closed-mouth smile. "For agreeing to meet with you. However," He put a hand on the arm pinning him to the wall. "I am not getting paid to be pinned to the wall by a stranger." The smile reached his eyes. "That is a different type of transaction."

I blushed and took my arm off of him, scowling. He kept the small smile on his face as I took a step back.

"So, how does this work? Do I pay first, or what?"

He smiled again, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. "Don't worry about that right now," he purred. "First, let's get to know each other a bit better. Come," He grabbed my golden hand in his grey one. "We can talk over a meal and some wine." Niruin pulled me into the dining room of the inn, where several people were in attendance. I saw a blonde woman from the Ratway, as well as a red-haired Nord man. The woman gave me a hard, snobbish look while the man looked at me like I was prey. I quickly looked away while feeling the bulge in my pocket. My septims were still in there.

Niruin smiled a close-mouthed smile. "Your septims will not disappear as long as you are with me," he said. Wait, what was... I saw a flash of something in his mouth. Did he have silver caps in his teeth?

I gave him a hard stare as an uneasy feeling washed over me. "And why is that?" I asked. My voice came out angrier than I wanted it to. Niruin only smiled and reached across the table. He lightly touched my hand, then gently grasped it. He had cold hands...

Suddenly I felt at ease. I sighed in relief and smiled at him. His hands were warm, not cold, and there were no caps in his mouth. Just a wonderful smile. He leaned back in his chair, letting my hand go.

"Now, my dear, why are you here?"

"I need information on a vampire. Asta. She's a child vampire turned by Movarth."

"And why do you need to know where she is?"

"She killed my husband."

"Is that all?"

"She also is raising an army of vampire children. We think her next hit is the orphanage here in Riften. Ma'Dat is asking for your help."

Niruin furrowed his brow. He looked deep in thought for a moment, and the uneasy feeling creeped back. Niruin looked up at me when I shifted in my seat.

"I'll tell you what I can," he said, his voice low. "But we will need some privacy."

"We were JUST in my room."

"Yes, well," Niruin smiled again. I was getting sick of that look. "In case you decided to exterminate me, I needed to be seen with you so my associates would know whom to exact their revenge on."

"Exterminate you? You're a thief, not a vampire."

"Come," he held out his hand. I stood up without taking it. I didn't like the feeling I was suddenly receiving. I heard Dawnbreaker whisper, and felt a faint pulse emit from it. Niruin led the way to my room, and closed the door behind me. I suddenly felt like I was in danger.

"What's going on?" I demanded. Niruin raised his eyebrows.

"There's no need for your weapon, my dear," he said casually. I realized I was gripping the hilt of Dawnbreaker. I kept my hand where it was and gave Niruin a steely glare. Niruin smiled his easy smile, but this time he revealed his teeth. Before I could draw Dawnbreaker, he had me pinned against the wall, my arms at my sides.

"Listen closely," he whispered in my ear. He had stand on his tiptoes to reach my ears. "I am of the Bonsamu clan, from Valenwood. I mean Skyrim no harm, and certainly do not want an army of vampires to rule this land. So," his cool breath left the nape of my neck. "I will let you go, on the ground that you will keep your sword to yourself. Are we clear?"

I stared down at him, incredulous. "Fine," I spat, enraged. He let go of my arms and took a step back. I balled up my fists and moved to the other side of the room, staring him down angrily. He shot me an amused look.

"I suspect your hatred of my kind is rooted in some sort of tragic experience?"

I bared my teeth with disgust. "My entire village was slaughtered by your kind, the children turned and forced to eat their parents."

"I doubt they were forced."

I saw red. I began to draw Dawnbreaker, but the Bosmer vampire tutted.

"You promised."

"They WERE forced," I said through clenched teeth as I slid Dawnbreaker back into its sheath. "Asta would never kill our mother."

"Asta? The one you're looking for?" Something seemed to go off in his head. "YOU are the elf she was looking for?"

Didn't I say that earlier?

I paled. "What? Did you send her to me?"

Niruin shook his head. "No, but she had sought you out months ago, after Movarth's death." He furrowed his brow. "I take it you were the one to take his unlife?"

I nodded my head. "He was trying to make Morthal a cattle town, and was using a woman named Alva to charm and seduce the men there. She had only begun before I arrived." I crossed my arms and stared at the wall next to Niruin. "Why would she come after me? I left her alone, like I prom-" I stopped. Niruin gave me a sharp look.

"I trust Ma'Dat doesn't know of this little tidbit of info?" He grinned. His fangs showed clearly, now that we were in the privacy of my room. "Asta was Movarth's lover."

I gagged. "Oh! WHAT?! Oh GODS!" I clutched my stomach and dry heaved. "That's my little sister!"

Niruin raised an eyebrow. "How long ago was she turned, exactly?"

"Twenty years ago or so."

"How old was she when she was turned?"


"She was almost ten."

"Then she is about thirty years old."

"But she's a CHILD!"

Niruin shook his head. "The body stays the same, but the mind changes. That is vampirism."

"Can you help me or not?" I felt sick. "You've gotten information out of me, now you need to help me."

Niruin kept his face neutral. "There is the matter of payment to be discussed."

"Really? Here, take my money. All of it, I don't care." I pulled the coinpurse from my pocket and tossed it on my bed. "If that isn't enough for you, I'll gladly beat the answers out of you."

Niruin raised his eyebrows. "Ma'Dat wasn't kidding when he said you had a temper." He glanced at the small coinpurse I had tossed onto the bed. "I can tell you right off that that won't be enough, but I know how you can remedy that. There are a few caves to the northwest of here. All infested with bandits. If you allow me to accompany you, and allow me all of the loot, you can keep your money. This is in payment for the information and saving the children of the orphanage."

I balked. "All of it?" I furrowed my brow and nodded. "This is acceptable," I said. "When can we leave?"

"Tomorrow night," Niruin said. "There are no whisperings of her moving in on the orphanage. You may rest tonight, and tomorrow night we can set out and start on the caves." He crossed the room to the door. He looked back as he opened it. "I suggest you rest tonight. As well as you can. Gather supplies in the morning. Meet me outside the gates and I will show you where we will start." He closed the door behind him.

I stood by the bed with my arms crossed for a few moments. The noise outside was dulled by the door, and I was used to inns.

However, I wasn't used to dealing with thieves. I had made a trip to Riften once before, to marry Onmund. The thought of him made my heart ache, but I pushed the feeling down. I decided to take Niruin's advice and try to rest. I sat on the bed, leaning against the wall after turning the lamp low. I stayed in my armor, and kept my hand on Dawnbreaker's hilt. If Asta was nearby, then I would catch her.

=-=

I was woken up by a feeling that someone was in my room. I open my eyes and see a small figure crouched by my pack. It was pulling out my potion bottles and replacing them with similar ones.

"Asta!" I cried. She turned and looked at me, her face covered with a hood and a cloth over her mouth. I realized it wasn't Asta, as the skin wasn't pale and white, but grey. I leapt up and pinned the figure down before it could run and pulled the cloth mask off.

"Who are YOU?!" I demanded, confused. A small Dunmer girl, about the age of ten, glared at me angrily. She bared her fangs at me and kept silent.

I kept interrogating her. "What is your name? Where is Asta? Tell me what you know!"

She kept silent, her teeth still bared. I glanced at the bag of potions she had next to her.

"Why would-"

I was interrupted by a pain in my neck. The girl had latched herself to me, and I let out a yell of pain. She wrapped her legs around me, using her weight to pull me to the ground on top of her. I struggled to get her off by pushing, but to no avail. I crammed my fingers in her nostrils and yanked back, causing her to unlatch and cry out in pain. I leapt off of her and grabbed Dawnbreaker, flinging the sheath off and pointing the blade at her.

"I don't want to hurt you!" I said, my voice shaking. The wound on my neck was painful. She hadn't bit very deep, and it wasn't life-threatening. It still bled.

The girl barked a laugh and lunged at me. I dropped Dawnbreaker on the ground and punched the vampire child square in the cheek. She flew across the room and hit the table, landing on top of it.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?!"

I turned around to see Talen-Jei behind me.

"Are you having a fit?" He hissed, the dark green spines on his head sticking up. His green scaled fists were clenched at his side, and his reptillian eyes bore into mine angrily. Keerava came up behind him.

"What happened in here?" She rasped. Both Argonians stared at my room and the wound on my neck in horror and anger. Talen-Jei's spines stood up higher wile Keerava narrowed her eyes and pulled her tan leathery lips into a snarl.

"If you are going to act like you're possessed by Sheogorath, you can just leave!" Keerava hissed angrily. I pointed to the table and looked at...nothing. The Dunmer vampire child was gone, the potion bottles scattered on the floor. Papers were strewn across the table, which had been pushed away from the wall. A candle, which had been resting on the table, was tipped over, the wax spilled and the flame out.

"I-I had a nightmare," I stammered. Talen-Jei's spines went down, and Keerava seems to relax. She blinked lazily at me.

"Try to calm down," she said, pulling Talen-Jei by the arm out the door. "And clean up before you leave. This is not my mess." She slammed the door, leaving me standing there, looking around wildly. The Dunmer girl did not appear again, and I did not sleep for the rest of the night.

Posted by: King Of Beasts Mar 9 2013, 05:13 PM

I knew there was something off about Niruin. But wait....dies Ma'Dat know he's a vampire?

The dunmer vampire girl attack was scary! The worst part is....WHERE DID SHE GO?!

Kayla needs to drink a cure disease potion PRONTO!

Great chapter!

Posted by: Eva Mar 9 2013, 06:21 PM

This chapter scared me... but in a good way! The vampire attack was oddly thrilling! Haha

I agree with KoB... Kayla needs to cure her disease FAST! Hehe

Posted by: jack cloudy Mar 9 2013, 07:47 PM

Hmm, I don't trust mister thief-but-totally-not bad-vampire. I mean, everyone is like "I don't want those kids on my lawn and they definitely ain't around here." But just turn around and Kayla finds journals and undead brats in groping in her bags with their filthy fingers. I mean, he said that she isn't going to make a move on the orphanage soon. How would he know?! The Dunmer twerp was there that night and most important of all, Kayla has been playing catchup all this time. The odds of her being ahead of Asta suddenly are slim to say the least.



And the deal with the potion-switcheroo makes a whole lot more sense than what I thought. (I thought the journals were infected. There was enough blood on them anyway.) I can just see it now. A few drops of blood in every bottle she chugs back in her quest for vengeance with no time to rest. (Sleep? That's what stamina potions are for!) And there is plenty of time to pull a switcheroo whenever she's busy flying off the handle at everyone.


Edit: Thinking on it further, the night-time visitor may have been part of a group assigned to permanently shadow Kayla instead of being the vanguard on the orphanage raid. But Kayla is still in Asta's footsteps. I don't believe the orphanage is as safe as Niruin wants her to believe. And what better time to strike than when the vampire hunter has oh so conveniently been sidetracked into killing bandits?

Posted by: mALX Mar 10 2013, 03:16 AM

LOVE this! Also love your Niruin! He has some great lines!





Really loving this character you have given him!

The end of this chapter was freaky! Urk !!! I'd be very leary of drinking any of the potions in case they've been changed to poisons! GAAAAH!


*

Posted by: King Coin Mar 10 2013, 05:16 AM

Nice handling of Dirge. That went better than expected. Lol.

At the Inn- Getting some mouth punching ready! XD

Niruin is a hilarious character. However, he’s very much a mercenary. Do not trust him. Quite the charmer… hmm…

You're a thief, not a vampire.
Ahem…

If this Bosmer is being truthful… Morvarth is a sick bastard.

The child disappeared! Is she infected again? She'll need to buy new potions.

Posted by: McBadgere Mar 10 2013, 11:02 AM

Oh...I liked Niruin... ...*Sigh*...Bloody vampires... ...

Oh well... ...

An excellent chapter...Loved it... ...

The Morvath/Asta thing reminds me of that Bradd Pitt/Kirsten Dunst thing from Interview With A Vampire...Still bleurgh though *Shudders*...

Aaamywho...Looking forward to Ma'Dat's rushing in to save the day!!...Booyah!!...Kicking in doors and taking heads!!...

Scary Dunmer girl ahoy!!... ...

Blimey, Kayla really needs to get a portable shrine doesn't she?...Or at least know how to brew a cure disease on her own... ...Yes, I remember the bit about the disease stopping the victims drinking...But still...

Good luck with the moving and stuff...Hope all goes well and that you return to the fiction world soon enough... ...

Posted by: Acadian Mar 10 2013, 04:38 PM

A Bonsamu! How cool!

I chuckle every time Kayla engages in fisticuffs, after all the mouth-punching talk.

I wonder if the disappearing diminutive dastardly Dunmer ankle neck biter is part of Asta’s crew?

Posted by: Rihanae Mar 10 2013, 10:02 PM

Ooh what a thrilling chapter!

That Niruin gives me the creeps... most likely because he is a little bit too charming. Hey-ho, he managed to give Kayla some info...

Speaking of info, I can imagine how Kayla must have felt learning Asta was Morvaths lover! Creepy and disturbing... but BRILLIANT!

What a terrifying ending! I leave myself wondering who that girl was? A random encounter? Most likely one of Asta's army.

GREAT STUFF!

Now for the quotes I loved:

This whole exchange had me giggling. Kayla managed to warm Dirge down... an impressive feat



Haha!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 10 2013, 10:07 PM

Has no one ever talked to Dirge in the Thieves Guild quest?? I loved him! that's an in-game line lol

Posted by: Grits Mar 11 2013, 03:51 AM

I would have predicted that Dirge would receive a mouth-punching!

Niruin is an interesting character. And Asta and Movarth. *shudder* But hey, vampires.

I'd feel better if Kayla would start every day by eating a few hawk feathers!

Posted by: mALX Mar 11 2013, 03:54 AM

What do hawk feathers do?

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 11 2013, 04:00 AM

Instantly cure diseases. They're rare, but in a pinch if you have any, you eat them and it cures all diseases.

Posted by: mALX Mar 11 2013, 07:13 AM

I did NOT know this !!! AWESOME !!!!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 11 2013, 12:18 PM

Yeah, but feathers taste awful lmfao

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Mar 11 2013, 12:27 PM

I loved that chapter, especially the interaction between Niruin and Kayla; one hell of a tenuous 'enemy of my enemy' scenario at the best of times, and the tension of that scene it was absolutely brilliant. I loved the way you portrayed the effects of the Masque of Clavicus Vile on Kayla (is that the thing that makes vampires look normal? I know it's the name of that mask but I'm pretty sure that Herr Vile is also involved in making vampires look normal too), and the mentions of his teeth being normal and then not normal and then normal again was an excellent touch.

And then a Dunmeri kiddy assassin/infector as well! Must be one of the agents Asta sent, but it leaves me wondering whether Niruin sent her or if somebody else did.

Love the mystery and tension you're building here, and I can't wait to read more!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 11 2013, 12:49 PM

No mask! The Bosmer Bonsamu clan cannot be detected as vampires except when in candlelight. He cast a charm spell on her in the inn, and distracted her from hos teeth. I'm writing this on my phone and shivering, so please excuse any spelling mistakes, lol

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Mar 11 2013, 12:52 PM

Oh, OK. Hmm, didn't know that.

AND YOUR SPELLING MISTAKES ARE UNACCEPTABLE!! I AM OUTRAGED!!!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 11 2013, 12:55 PM

Shutup XD

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 12 2013, 06:03 AM

Alright, y'all, we are drawing to a close to this part of Kayla's life. A couple of points I shall touch up on:

Niruin: Ma'Dat DOES know he's a vampire. When he was in the Thieves Guild, he befriended Niruin. Once he became a disciple of Meridia, he "forgot" about Niruin until Kayla needed him for information.

Dunmer child vampire: We haven't seen the last of her. Trust me.

Potions: Kayla makes her own potions for everything. Albert's kindness to her in her early life inspired her to keep learning, as well as her discouragement towards magick early on. She knew no spells, so she used potions.

Okay, half asleep writing this.

But Kayla makes her own potions. If she can, she gets her own ingredients as well. She hardly ever buys potions, and likes to have them made exactly to the strength she wants.




=-=-=-=-=-=-=-






I clutched the wound on my neck, bolting through the streets of Riften. Only guards were out at this time of night, and only looked at me curiously as I quickly climbed the step of the Temple of Mara. I threw the doors open, startling the priest inside. I sprinted to the altar and clutched the stone with both hands, willing its healing properties to cleanse me. Blood transferred from my wound to my hand smeared the cross carving in red. Mara's face was left serene and untouched in the middle.

"Stop, you're getting blood on the bust!" The priest shouted. I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me back from the shrine.

"No! I need to be healed!" I wailed. I lunged towards the shrine again, but this time the priest had two hands on me.

"I will heal you, just don't get blood on Lady Mara's shrine!"

I relented. "Please heal me! Do you have a cure disease potion?"

"I do," the priest said, surprised. "Let me heal you first."

"No! Cure me first!"

The Redguard priest threw up his hands and backed off, running around the corner. He appeared a moment later with a potion bottle. I grabbed it and uncorked it, drinking it in two gulps. I sighed in relief, covering my mouth to keep the belch that followed away from the priest. His face was cool and neutral as he held his hand out towards my neck.

"May I?"

I nodded, and he motioned for me to sit. We sat in the pews, leaning towards each other. The priest asked me questions as he healed me.

"Do you feel dizzy?"

"No."

"It doesn't look like it's too deep... where did you get this wound?"

"You can't tell?"

"I want to hear it from you."

I sighed and began to turn my neck, but the priest told me to stay still. I kept my neck still as I said, "Vampire."

"Hence the cure disease potion."

I nodded.

"Don't move," he scolded. "You look familiar to me."

"I was married here." I inwardly cringed.

"Oh! How long ago was this?"

"About 2 years ago."

"Ah, young love. How are things going?"

I paused. "He died." My voice did not break.

The priest stopped his healing. "What happened? If you want to tell me."

A familiar lump welled in my throat. I swallowed it. "He was murdered by... a vampire." That old, familiar, aching chasm opened slightly. I sat comfortably at the edge of my grief and let my eyes shine with tears. It was at that moment that the priest wrapped me in a robed hug. Rough fabric scratched at my startled skin, and after a moment, I wrapped my arms around him as well and let him comfort me.

I cried until no more tears came out.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


Niruin sniffed the air. "Just up ahead." He pointed towards the caves in front of us. We edged along the sides of the cave, out of sight of the men guarding the entrance. Niruin slid along the wall silently, every movement fluid, yet precise. My leather armour creaked quietly, an occasional joint popped.

"You are incredibly noisy." Niruin whispered. I could hear the amusement in his voice.

"I'm sorry."

"No snappy comeback?" I heard a slight zip near my head as Niruin released an arrow. It planted itself in one of the men's skulls, causing him to fall over.

"No." I released fire towards the other bandits, hitting one in the chest. He recoiled from the impact, but seemed unscathed.

Damnit, magickal resistance.

I drew Dawnbreaker and rushed towards the other while Niruin stayed in the shadows. Another arrow whizzed past me at the bandit with the magickal leather armor, planting itself in his throat. Loot for Niruin, I thought sarcastically. I had realized earlier that allowing Niruin to hoard all the loot was a mistake, as cave-diving and dungeon-delving was how I made my living. That armor alone could have paid for a month at an inn.

The bandit man had his sword drawn, and even though I was already on the offense, he decided he was going to rush me as well. He swung his iron sword at my head, leaving himself completely open. I sidestepped quickly, twirling around him to keep my momentum and let Dawnbreaker take his head off. It thumped to the ground before the rest of his body did. I turned my head and leapt away from the fountain of blood.

Niruin sauntered up, glancing at the headless bandit. "A little tense?" I shook my head. He raised his eyebrows. "I could have taken all three of them with barely a sound, and little blood."

"Alright."

Niruin kept his hooded gaze on me, tilting his head to give him a semi-concerned look. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine. Let's go inside. What's the plan?" I wiped a bit of bandit blood off my cheek. A slight wind picked up, makin the entrance of the cave howl. The moons made the mouth look ominous.

"I go ahead and scout, and come back and tell you how many there are. Then you take care of them."

"Uhhh..." I crossed my arms. "I'm not much for having a partner in things, but couldn't we go in together? You take out any archers or bandits too far away from the reach of my sword?"

"The cave might be too close of quarters to do that. Hence why I go scout."

"Didn't you already do that? Isn't that how you found out there were bandits inside?"

Niruin looked irritated. "It's common knowledge around the cities on where bandit hideouts are located. Especially to us, when they are competition." Niruin crossed his arms, his bow in his right hand. "Are we going to go with my plan, or not?"

"I just don't see what the point of me coming is, if you're so good with that damn bow."

"Obviously," His voice rang with the irritation showing on his face, "I do not have the skills you have. If one were to attack me in close-quarters with a large sword, I would not fare well. I was told you deal especially well in close-ranged combat."

"You did fine pinning me to the wall before I could attack you last night. You seem to hold your own."

"You had not drawn your sword, nor were there five of you. We need to get inside, quickly. The moons make me nervous."

I finally cracked a smile. "Aw, is the widdle vampire scared of werewolves?"

Niruin ignored me and slipped inside the mouth of the cave. I disappeared inside after him.He shot me another irritated look over his shoulder when he realized I was following him. I was confused at his irritation. if we both go in, then if things go wrong, I could take anyone up close while he dealt with those afar.

I took into consideration that if things were close-quarters, I'd be able to handle them. What would Niruin do? Meld into the shadows like a coward while I took everyone? And what if the cave was larger than we anticipated? Would I stand around and wait while-

I bumped into Niruin's back and grunted. There was a sharp intake of breath before he hissed, "This is why I wanted to scout first!" I heard movement down the hall. Niruin gave an angry grunt.

"Since YOU alerted them, YOU deal with them!" He slipped behind me. I drew Dawnbreaker. It came alive with an eery glow, as if it was anticipating a bloodbath. I ignored it and lit fire in my other hand. I had only walked a few steps when I heard a familiar voice.

"Nisse."

I nearly dropped my sword.

"Asta?"

I felt my stomach drop, and my heart nearly thudded out of my chest. A small figure silhouetted the glow of the end of the cave hall. Firelight made her shadow dance on the walls, giving the stone walls a malevolent glow. I felt a prick on the back of my neck, and before the paralysis kicked in, I rammed the heel of my hand into Niruin's nose. I fell, Niruin's screams oddly quiet in comparison to Asta's voice. She kneeled next to my face and whispered in my ear.

"Welcome home, Nisse."

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Mar 12 2013, 10:43 AM

Dun dun DUUUUUUUUN!!

Dammit, I knew Niruin couldn't be trusted. And now look what happened; he sold Kayla out to Asta! I do like how Kayla managed to injure Niruin in a manner similar to face-punching even whilst being paralysed in this chapter. She keeps up this streak much longer and I'm going to start calling her Rocky!

Also, this statement worries me slightly:

Specifically, the lack of mention on her unlife drawing to a close worry me; leaves plenty of room for a 'he who fights monsters' style scenario...

Posted by: King Coin Mar 12 2013, 10:10 PM

Whew! Glad she got healed and cured. Ma’Dat isn’t around to force a potion down her throat.

Awww… I should have known this temple would have been difficult.

Niruin sniffed the air.
Creepy. This guy is a predator.

I finally cracked a smile. "Aw, is the widdle vampire scared of werewolves?"


"Asta?"
Oh ****!

Posted by: Acadian Mar 12 2013, 11:11 PM

Grrr! Darn priest. I’m rather sure that Mara doesn’t mind getting a little blood on her bust. Nevertheless, he did prove helpful and of some comfort.

‘I finally cracked a smile. "Aw, is the widdle vampire scared of werewolves?"’
Like KC, this gave me a laugh!

You did a nice job of having Kayla rationally question Niruin’s plan. Given that her tactical assessment made more sense than his, we were not stunned to learn the cave was a trap and that Niruin would go all traitor when Asta showed up. Malevolent imagery near the end there!

So what did Kayla’s old cat buddy set her up for? I’m not ready to toss him out with the kitty litter yet, but his role is growing more suspect.

Posted by: Grits Mar 13 2013, 12:47 AM

Yikes!! Freshly cured and now in the claws of vampires! The prick on the back of the neck with paralysis poison had me rubbing my own neck!

Posted by: mALX Mar 13 2013, 06:22 AM

SPEW!

OMG, what an ending! Holy Crap! Did Niruin set her up? URK !!! GAAAAH !!! Awesome Write!

Posted by: jack cloudy Mar 13 2013, 10:47 AM

Hah, called it. Well, except for the bit about the bandit lair being the trap and home of Asta and friends. Still, I have the feeling that while Kayla is out the orphanage received some new clientele.

Oh, and if Mara-guy doesn't want his shrine to be touched, he should start selling cure disease potions cheap or put the damn thing out of reach. What happened to the cure disease spell anyway?

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 16 2013, 03:13 PM

Yay, new chapter!! XD

Thanks everyone for sticking Kayla through this. She's going to need your support. I'm tying up some loose ends in this chapter as well as answering some questions.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-








I struggled against my binds, causing the wooden chair to creak with effort. I was in complete darkness in a section of the cave in the back where my captors kept me. Little sounds carried from the large room to my ears in the dark. A phrase here, a clink of silverware there, a harsh laugh.

Here and there, a drop of water falling from great heights into a pool of water startled me. I had been here for what seemed like hours, and exhaustion was kicking in. The ropes were not giving away, and my wrists were raw and bloody from trying. Tiny hands had lifted my paralyzed body easily into the chair, tying my legs, hands, arms, even my chest, to it. The ropes seemed to be enchanted to keep my magick from coming to me.

The only satisfaction I had gotten was seeing a brief glace of Niruin's mangled nose. Before he darted from the cave, he shot me a hatred-filled glance as Asta plopped a very heavy bag of septims into his bloodied hand.

I perked up. Someone was coming. I could make out that it was a child, but notihng more. Then it spoke. Her voice was soft and gentle, but carried easily in the darkness of the cave room.

"Hello."

I blinked at this simple greeting. "Uh, hi?"

"Asta says you are her sister."

"I was her sister, until she decided to kill my husband." I leaned forward slightly, trying to get a better look at her in the dark. I got nothing. "How old are you?"

"I was ten when I was turned six years ago."

"By Asta?"

There was a pause. She giggled. "I forget, mortals can't see in the dark like we can. Yes, by Asta." She took a few steps closer, and I took a deep breath. She leaned in and set her hands on my arms gently.

"You'll like it here. We have plenty to feed on, and we never go hungry. Just do what she says, and you won't get hurt. You'll be the first adult here. All of us were young when turned." Her cool breath wafted the smell of blood against my face. She was close enough to where I could see her fangs.

"Emelia."

Asta's voice cut sharply against the quiet of the cave. Emelia straightened up and quickly turned around.

"Yes, Asta?"

"Go eat. I'd like to spend some time with my sister."

Emelia exited quickly. Asta appeared at my side, startling me. "Nisse..." she said warmly. "I have missed you."

"Untie me, and I can show you how much I've missed you."

"Nisse!" Asta sounded hurt. "After all I've done to bring you here, you treat me like this?" She kicked the leg of the chair, and I let out a startled gasp. Asta gripped my arms, hard enough to make me cry out.

"I have come so close so many times to having you become one of us, you just don't want to turn!" She let go of my arms, and I sighed in relief.

"I don't want to be a vmpire, Asta! Stop trying to turn me!"

Asta was quiet for a moment. I heard the pounding of my heart in my head as I waited to see what she would do. She turned to leave, her hands behind her back.

"That's not up for you to decide," she said quietly.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=


Erik stoked the cooking fires of the inn, the large flame lighting up every corner of the room. His father had gone outside to gather firewood, and Ma'Dat was sipping a tankerd of mead at the bar.

"When will Kayla be back?" Erik asked Ma'Dat. The cat made an odd twitch with his tail. Erik didn't have much experience with Khajiit, and couldn't tell what Ma'Dat was feeling. Kayla always seemed to know what he was thinking, though.

"Nisse will be back in a week or two. The road to Riften is long, and she has to wait for Asta to strike before saving the children." He took another sip of his mead. "This one has the utmost confidence in her abilities." His tail flicked.

"What's wrong?" Erik asked.

Ma'Dat shook his head. "Ma'Dat questions the decision he made to send Nisse to a thief for information. Thieves are easily bought, even those who come from money."

Erik opened his mouth to ask Ma'Dat to explain, but the door flew open, and Mralki stumbled in. "Something attacked me!" he gasped, holding the wound on his neck. Blood seeped through his fingers, droplets dotting the floor. Ma'Dat jumped up and bolted outside while Erik helped his father.

"What was it?" Erik pulled his father's hand away from the wound. A bite mark, shaped like a jagged "O" on Mralki's neck, alarmed Erik.

"Okay, I'm going to go get help. You stay here, alright, father?"

Before Mralki could protest, Erik drew his sword and went outside cautiously. It was utter chaos. The two moons illuminated the scene of children attacking adults with their teeth in a fenzy. Erik heard two familiar screams off to the side.

"Erik!"

"Erik, help me!"

"Britte? Sissel?" He saw the two girls being dragged into the bushes. Their screams stopped almost immediately. Erik ran towards them, but was knocked over. His head hit the ground, causing him to see stars. He heard a snarl and the cold stench of death washed his face. He looked up to see fangs. He gasped, preparing himself for death.


=-=-=-=-=-=


Ma'Dat unsheathed his claws, glancing around, taking in the scene. There were many people being attacked, and the decision on whom to rescue was a difficult one. Lemkil, no. Rorik, yes. Ma'Dat's old muscles came to life as he sprung towards Rorik's attacker, a small Dunmer child wearing form-fitting black armor. He knocked the girl off of Rorik and clawed at her face and armor, causing her to snarl angrily. She grabbed Ma'Dat's throat and squeezed, cutting off his air. Ma'Dat stuck a single claw in the girl's eye. A scream pierced the air the cut into the heads of those around them. Ma'Dat did not see the knife coming, only felt it when it pierced his throat. He fell, gurgling.


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


I screamed when Asta bit me on the arm, not drinking my blood, but infecting me. Torches lit the room now, the shadows dancing on her face and the walls.

"I know, it hurts, Nisse, but in a few days, nothing will hurt again." She moved a strand of hair out of my face, my skin wet with a thin sheen of sweat. I gasped, gritting my teeth. I felt very small and weak.

"Asta, stop, please, I'm begging you!"

She bit my exposed shoulder, this time letting her mouth linger on the wound, tasting my blood a little. She had taken my armor off and left me only the barest of clothing. Bites on my stomach, arms, and legs covered me, showing her intent. Infect, not kill. Leave my body weak, and it won't fight the infection as well as it had been.

"Mistress?"

Asta turned sharply at the voice, her black curls bouncing angrily. "What?!"

Emelia wrung her hands. The blonde Imperial girl shot me an apologetic look. Had she not been undead, her skin would have tanned wonderfully in the sun. She had told me her eyes were once bright blue. "What do you want us to do with the sword?"

Asta growled. "That has not been taken care of?"

"No, none of the girls want to go near it. They say it screams at them."

Asta gave a sigh of exasperation. "Wrap it up and throw it off a cliff, I don't care! Just get rid of it!" Emelia ducked out of the room, shooting me another apologetic glance over her shoulder. Asta turned back to me.

"Do you see why I need you, Nisse? I could always count on you." She wiped a droplet of blood from her chin. "The things I've had to do to stay alive and find you..." Her eyes darkened.

"Asta, let me go, and we can find a cure. Please, I'm begging you, don't let me turn!"

"No!" I cringed, the sound of her voice echoing sharply against the cave walls. "This is all that I am, now. I killed our mother and father, I am not fit to be anything else."

"Asta..."

"Just like I am killing your mentor, and your lover as well."

I felt the remaining blood I had turn to ice. A rush of rage suddenly heated me. "What?!"

Asta smiled a half smile, the same one she had learned from me when we were children. Only this one was malicious instead of playful.

"I'm killing anyone who would dare to save you."

"Asta, they're not expecting me back for another two weeks! Why would you do this?"

"Because I can."


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


The scream distracted the small vampire long enough for Erik to elbow it in the face. The force knocked her over, and Erik struggled to keep her pinned. Fireballs whizzed everywhere as Jounne, Rorik's mage friend, incinerated the vampire children. They perished in a shroud of flame, screaming and cursing.

"Kill it!" He hollered at Erik. The child snapped at Erik's hands.

"I can't!"

"You have to! It's you or that vampire!" Jounne rushed to Ma'Dat, feeling his pulse.

Erik wrestled for dominance, trying to grasp his sword.

Posted by: King Coin Mar 16 2013, 08:05 PM

The only satisfaction I had gotten was seeing a brief glace of Niruin's mangled nose.
Ha! I hope he has trouble getting that healed right. Damn merc.

Gah. What are they eating?

Does Asta really want to turn her out of some twisted sense of sisterly love, or is this revenge for the dead master vampire?

I did not expect the attack at Rorikstead.Asta is Evil. Erik and Ma'Dat!

Posted by: Acadian Mar 17 2013, 03:39 PM

Lingering a bit with Emelia was a fabulous choice, as she provides a starkly effective contrast to Asta.

I also enjoyed how the little vampires were afraid of Duskbuster Dawnbreaker. A neat point to draw attention to.

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Mar 17 2013, 06:04 PM

Taking Kayla captive and taking out Rorikstead in order ot just get Ma'Dat and Erik? Ye gods, Asta's good!

I'm wondering if Kayla will get herself out of this mess, and if not, whether Asta may have actually made a bit of a mistake by giving her sworn enemy the strength, speed and supernatural powers of a vampire. Considering that Kayla's bloody-minded and vengeful enough to stand a good chance of resisting any vampiric mind control, that puts her in pretty good odds of fulfilling the whole Nietschian adage of 'he who fights monsters'.

Posted by: Grits Mar 17 2013, 09:16 PM

Good call on not saving Lemkil. But the rest of Rorikstead, oh no!

I love that the vampires don’t want to touch Dawnbreaker.

Posted by: jack cloudy Mar 18 2013, 11:21 PM

Dawnbreaker scares them? Damn straight it should. Hiss at them, my cute little sword! Hiss and crackle!


I'm going to say that Asta is just a broken person in more ways than one. So turning Kayla could be revenge, sisterly affection, posessiveness and anything else.


And I think that in the attack on Rorikstead all doubts regarding Ma'Dat should have dissolved. Unfortunately, it seems to have come at the price of the old cat's death. I liked him. But go Erik! You can do it! You can become the vampire slayer! You've got the hair for it!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 19 2013, 05:45 AM

There is one more chapter to go, y'all, after this one.

A few things I'll touch up on:

Yes. XD


You know what, Acadian? XD You're a punk sometimes, lol


Kayla has been saved by Ma'Dat several times over the course of twenty years. But it goes deeper than that. When Asta was turned, she lost everything. and I mean everything. Her home, family, her innocence. She killed her parents and tried to kill her sister. She became the lover of an ADULT ancient vampire and, to top things off, all of this has affected the way she thinks things through.

She is not all there.

She wants Kayla to have nothing to go back to. No friends, no family, nothing. With her husband dead, and her father figure gone, what does she have left? In Asta's mind, Kayla will submit, because she has no choice. But:

This.^



Dawnbreaker don't like nuttin' not livin'!


This is the second to last chapter in the book. The next chapter will be the last chapter, and from then on, I will be starting another thread for the second book. Of course, I will be going back and editing my posts to correct the errors I had made and were too lazy to correct. I might even switch some words around, and spice up the language a bit. I was getting a headache reading my previous posts, and am amazed that anyone stuck through the terrible wording, spacing, grammar, and just downright shoddy worsmanship.

I'm not awesome, but I'm getting better, and I want to thank everyone that has helped me learn what I need to work on.

Acadian, of course, picking out the nits. Being a nitpicker. XD

Colonel Mustard, you're an awesome author, and the fact that you can stand my writing long enough to not only grasp what I'm writing, but respond to it, encourages me. Thank you.

mALX: Hii! -waves frantically- I know you're having issues right now, and of course, my PM box is always, ALWAYS open for you. Read when you feel like it, no pressure from me.

King of Beasts: Kid, you need to come back. You're missing the story XD

McBadgere: You're always encouraging me, and the little bout where I was having personal issues and being kinda...sucky... well, I appreciate your words. Thank you.

King Coin: PBBBTH.

Just kidding!! You're my buddy too! Thanks for listening to me whine about when I was stuck or scared the chapter wasn't going to be liked. You're a champ!!

Aaaaaand to someone who ISN'T reading my story: Uleni. For giving me a great tactic for word-building earlier today. I tried it and I could feel my brain stretching. I don't words good, but you words good. I wanna words good too. XD

Don't pay any attention to me. I'm getting sappy.

Anyways, enough with the girly girly crap. ON with the story!

Posted by: Elisabeth Hollow Mar 19 2013, 05:55 AM

Emelia soothed me as I shivered. Cold sweat covered my fevered body. I was too weak to move, so Asta had me moved into my own bed where she set up guards. Emelia stayed with me, whether it was her shift or not.

"Shh, shh," she murmured. "I know, it's awful, but it will pass. Then you'll be better." I groaned and clutched the sheets.

"Water," I gasped. "Thirsty!"

"Water won't help, trust me."

"Please!"

"You will just vomit it up, love."

Tears streamed from my eyes as I begged for something to drink. I felt a cool hand on my forehead, and heard another voice.

"How is she?" Asta.

"Still feverish, but she's almost there. She should be fully infected in a few hours. I've never seen anyone take so long to become infected."

"She has been infected so many times over the past twenty years that she has built up a resistance to it."

"That is...odd." The confusion in Emelia's voice was clear. "Usually when one is infected more often, the disease weakens the immune system, causing the infection to spread faster." After a moment, she spoke again.

"What is out next step?"

Asta paused for a moment, taking her hand from my head. "Akrya has not reported back, and neither has the group that went with her. I suspect they have been killed. If that is the case, then this sanctuary might be in danger."

Asta leaned in and whispered in my ear. "I have a present for you, Nisse. A Breton girl. She is brimming with magick. Magick users taste the best." I grimaced. I heard the smile in her voice. "Your fangs are coming in. Soon, Nisse."

"Meridia, please save me!"

"She won't."


=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=


My eyes popped open. I saw Emelia next to me, smiling. Her straight blonde hair was washed out by her pale complexion.

"Good morning, sunshine. Don't get up yet, you're still weak."

I plopped back down, swallowing several times. "I need water. I'm so thirsty." I licked my lips. When my teeth rested on my tongue, I gasped in horror. I wailed, stumbling out of the bed.

"Asta! I'll kill you!" Barefoot, down the cave corridor, I limped weakly and fell to the ground at the end of it. Asta was kneeling next to a young girl propped up on the cave wall, barely in her twenties. The girl was screeching in pain, her face red.

Asta stood up and smiled, her fangs out. "Finally," she cooed. She easily dodged my swings and sidestepped my attempts to grab her. "Once we get some blood in you, you'll be faster. And more compliant." I wheezed, my head swiveling to the young girl. My attention was immediately turned to her. I sniffed the air.

"Go ahead," Asta's childish voice was smooth and lower than her normal pitch. "She won't fight back. She's an easy kill."

I heard the girl's blood pumping rapidly with pain and fear. Fear. I could smell it on her, wafting to my nose, tinging her blood-

"No!" I looked away.

"You want to. You need to. I know it hurts, Nisse. That hunger, that thirst. That girl can take it all away."

Saliva filled my mouth. I desperately wanted to drink something. I swallowed. I glanced around and saw no water, no other liquid besides the one in the girl's veins. I turned back to her, resting my hands on my knees.

"I... I can't."

"Yes you can!" Asta's eyes seemed to become redder with rage. "If you don't, I will MAKE you!"

The girl had passed out, her light brown hair matted against her head with sweat. Her arms and legs were bent at odd angles.

"Did you break her arms and legs?!"

"Yes."

"Asta, heal her!"

"No."

"Then let me make a potion!"

"NO!" Asta's voice echoed off the cave walls. A few pebbles fell, the sound traveling awkwardly. Emelia peeked her head out of the cave corridor. A few other vampire children, all girls, began to gather around Asta. Her fists trembled at her sides. She grabbed my arm, throwing me down on top of the girl. The girl's eyes bulged open as I landed on her legs. She went whiter before she passed out from the pain.

"Drink her!" Asta demanded. I shook my head, clamping my mouth shut. Asta grabbed the hair on the back of my head and rammed my face into the girl's neck.

"DRINK!"

I struggled to get away, but Asta's grip was too strong. The sweat and fear on the girl's skin sang to me, her blood humming in her veins. I opened my mouth and bit. Asta's fingers untangled themselves from my hair as I whimpered, drinking in the girl's life. She never woke up, not even when I bit deeper, tearing at the vein for more. The blood was sweet on my tongue, filling me with warmth and caressing my skin from inside. I pulled away, panting, my eyes filling with tears.

All of it. I drank all of it.

"Do you want more?" Asta gently asked. "I brought another, just in case."

"What have you DONE to me?!" I sobbed. I clutched my stomach, disgusted with myself. I DID want more. "I c-can't... I'm sorry!" My high-pitched wails were never received by the dead girl's ears. "I'm so sorry! I take it back!" I pulled the girl's already cooling body to me, hugging it. Her head lolled onto my shoulder, her light brown hair brushing against my face.

My senses picked up something was about to go wrong, worse than what I just did. As I sobbed, clutching the girl and begging her to come back, I heard the almost silent shuffle of feet. Asta's fist struck my cheek, knocking me off the girl. Another blow hit me on the thigh, bouncing off almost uselessly. I blocked her next blow, and she pulled a dagger from her belt.

"Why are you resisting?" She screamed. I jumped up, stronger with the girl's blood. Calling fire into my hands, I threw two handfuls at Asta.

"I don't WANT to be a vampire, Asta!" Asta leapt nimbly from my flares, then charged me. The other vampiric children watched us dumbly. Asta snarled, an almost feral growl rumbling from her chest. I realized I could feel the same vibrations in my own.

"Why not, Nisse?" She charged, keeping her dagger low. I crouched automatically into a defensive stance before knocking her hand out of the way and kneeing her in the mouth. Her fangs pierced the skin, and I cried out. Asta reeled, spitting out my blood. She panted.

"Why not?!" She demanded again. I gripped the wound on my knee.

"I don't want cause pain, I want to heal it. How can I do that if my very presence demands chaos?" I growled. "I'm going to find a cure, Asta. But not before I kill you for this." Before I could lunge, an arrow dug into my thigh. I screamed, my leg becoming numb almost immediately. I struggled to regain control of my body, but the poison seeped into my limbs at an alarming rate.

"Luckily your paranoia has become of some use to us," Asta straightened up. "We found this potion in your pack when we captured you. We could have used you, Nisse. Not many poisons affect vampires." She signaled the girls to leave. I fell on the cave floor, hard.

I saw Emelia shoot me one of her apologetic looks before heading up the cave entrance. Asta shook her head in disgust. The other girls never gave me a passing glance, and it occurred to me that there were more than I initially thought. Before, there were fifteen. I saw over thirty vampiric girls filing out of the cave. Each had similar bags of what I figured were their belongings, what little they might have.

When the last ones were out, Asta called down the corridor to me. "You'll find the Breton girl in the other room. Have fun." I heard a grating sound, and the efforts of the girls. The air from outside grew still.

I'm trapped!

Posted by: Uleni Athram Mar 19 2013, 05:57 AM

Oh don't worry, Lizzie. Like everyone else knows (probably), I'm a creepy lurker. Ylu may not know this, but I'm following you guys' stories. So yeah.... hihihihihihihi...

And glad my tactic worked out for you! Always get that warm mushy feeling when I help people and I love it! Ha!

Posted by: Colonel Mustard Mar 19 2013, 03:56 PM

Thank you, thank you, I know I am awesome

Seriously though, humility is a good thing to see in any writer/artist, from the bad to best, but I think you're doing yourself a bit of a disservice here, and I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is one of the best things I've read on these forums.

This chapter was excellently done, and Kayla's self-loathing after giving in to inevitable urge to feed was well-handled, and it was made even better by the contrast provided by Asta's sheer glee at that turn of events. I'm interested that Emelia seems to be another reluctant convert like Kayla is; there a potential ally in her, I wonder?

Undead or living, it appears that there are some things about Kayla that will never change. (It's the eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight, risin' up to the challenge of your rivaaaals!)

Posted by: mALX Mar 19 2013, 09:32 PM

*

The whole scene of Kayla prisoner to Asta was absolutely totally 100% AWESOME !!!!!!! HUGE Write !!!!

This force of children attacking like banshees as a group is scary as hell! What a movie that would make! Holy Cow what imagery you have done with this chapter! I am in love with this story!

Next:

Oh crap! Kayla has fangs! Urk !!! GAAAAAAH! Kayla killed the girl !!!! URK !!!! Holy Crap what a chapter! You have just stepped into the realm of Anne Rice with this one, and Kayla noticing how many girls there were as they filed out - chilling! Awesome Write, Holy Crap!


*

Posted by: jack cloudy Mar 19 2013, 10:59 PM

Oh dear. He who hunts monsters and all that. Ok, so it is the monster's fault instead of a slippery moral slope (not that Kayla wasn't descending down it already, mind.)


The feelings here were very powerful. I also liked how Kayla actually managed to hurt Asta after feeding. Shows the vampirism at work. But now Kayla is trapped? How will she free herself? (I'm guessing she can't just wait three days) Will she succumb to the bloodlust? I must know!