No Elves in Sovngarde, I've decided to to turn my "A day in Skyrim" adventure i Options

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Oh, that's great progress! I often get quite a few thousand words out ahead before I even think about looking for episode break points. It does seem to help to have what comes next already written before you break things up and post.

It actually took a lot of pressure off about updating. No one here is pressuring me to update, but I'm pressuring myself. SO I've been relaxing and editing, and allowing myself to give my brain a rest. But the rest is over. Now to begin another chapter!

[Elisabeth Hollow]

CHAPTER SEVEN: Here We Go...

Apparently I had fallen asleep, because Lurbuk's off-key singing jarred me awake. Gods. I thought. This town is making me regret killing the Dark Brotherhood. He was standing outside my door, and I heard Alva and Onmund's laughter when they saw me jump.

"Sorry," Lurbuk mumbled sheepishly as I walked out of the room. "She paid me 20 septims to do that."

Doors! Why doesn't this place have any doors?

"It's alright, Lurbuk, just...don't do it again." Maybe I missed a Dark Brotherhood member...

Alva was slung over Onmund's arm playing with...his hair?! Onmund favored his mage's robes greatly, because it gave him extra magickal resistence and helped keep away disease. I had gifted it to him on our wedding night, and he rarely took them off, but now he had on a brown pair of breeches and a clean off-white shirt. She twirled his blonde hair around her finger and leaned her head on his shoulder, a move that would have been awkward for me, but she made it look so comfortable.

"What's the matter, elf? Are you not used to seeing more of your husband's body?" She purred as I walked closer to them. I flushed, and she continued to tease. "He just looked so stuffy, wearing those stinky robes, I can't believe you gave him such terrible and unflattering clothing!"

"SMART people don't dress for style or attention," I gave her a pointed look. "But for practicality. Those robes were meant to give his abilities a boost as well as keeping him for getting any nasty diseases from something... or someONE." Another pointed look.

Alva sniffed. "Considering he's always home alone and YOU'RE out cavorting with all sorts of men, I think you've got a guilty conscience."

"That's it, harlot. Get up."

"No."

"Yes. Now. I'm tired of playing games with you. You can either get up and fight me, or I can beat you down where you sit."

"Kayla!" Onmund jumped up in front of Alva and looked up at me. "I TOLD you to leave me alone. You need to go back to Whiterun. There's nothing here for you anymore."

My eyes traveled down to his neck. "IS THAT...A HICKEY?!" I roared, both of my hands igniting a firebolt spell without my knowing. "We have one fight, and you're already letting another woman touch you?"

"Oh, I did more than touch," Ala said slyly with a wicked grin. "And you better put out that fireball, before we call the town guards." She was standing behind Onmund, but looked over his shoulder to look me in the eyes. I saw that I wasn't going to have to pretend to storm out. I crushed the fire spells, turned on my heel and slammed the inn door behind me.

Completely blind with with fury, I didn't put on warmer clothes or any armor before leaving the inn. I just walked until I found myself back at the burned-down house. I lit a Candlelight spell and sat down by the remnents of the hearth and cried. After about a minute the spell ended and I was left in complete darkness, except for the light of the moon. I glanced up and saw that there was no moon, but the apparition of a child.

I shrieked and scrambled up. The child looked at me curiously, and said "You're a funny elf. I'm just a kid, why are you scared?"

"I'm not scared, you just startled me." I wiped the snot on my shoulder and squatted down to eye level with the ghost, terrified, but feigning indifference. "Tell me, what is your name?"

"Helgi. I can't find mama anywhere. I'm so lonely. Would you like to play a game?" I've never seen a ghost look hopeful. Then again, I've never been in the presence of a ghost child. I shook my head. "Not right now, sweetie. I need you to tell me something. Did your Pa set the house on fire?"

"No, he-" she shook her head. "Can we play hide and seek now? I need to hide before the other one comes."

Did she mean Alva? "Honey, who are you talking about?"

"If you find me, I'll tell you!" She disappeared, and her disembodied voice giggled "The other one is near, have to hide!"

Gods-damnit. Even in death kids never stop moving. She disappeared completely, so there was no way for me to tell which way she went. I glanced in her old room, behind the house, and found nothing. "Helgi, I don't have time for this, you need to come out now!" No answer. Well great, I'm stuck AGAIN. I sat down against the outside of the house and lit Candlelight up... What was that? A path? I hadn't seen it earlier that day when looking at the house. I was too focused on the house itself. I kept Candlelight up and slowly followed the path, extremely aware of how dark it was and how armor-less I was. I came up to a dug up grave and heard a hiss.

A hooded woman emerged from the trees and ran towards me, claws extended. I reached for Dawnbreaker, but I had forgotten to grab it before I stormed out. Why am I unarmed? I NEVER take off my sword! The woman tackled me to the ground, her red eyes glaring at me angrily. Red! Of course she would be a vampire!

I tried to get her to roll over and get her under me, but she was strong. I had her held back by her shoulders, keeping her snapping jaws away from my neck and her claws away from my face. She raked one set of claws against my arm and I screeched in pain. She laughed, her diseased spittle dripping onto my tunic and neck.

"IIZ!" I shouted at her head, and her head and torso were frozen. Her greatest weapon taken away, she kicked and flailed around, allowing me to knock her over. She couldn't get up, the ice was weighing her down very well.

"Laelette?"

Seriously?!

"Stay back," I warned, getting up. I gripped my injured arm, eyeing the man. No red eyes that I could see by my still-lit Candlelight spell. Laelette still floundered around on the ground, and I asked the man "Who is she?"

"She is my WIFE! I thought she ran off to join the Stormcloacks!" He tried to push passed me. "What have you done?"

I put the uninjured arm on his chest and held him back. "She's a vampire."

"No..."

He dropped the axe he was holding, and fell to his knees. The ice began to melt. I dropped to my knees in front of the man.

"Listen to me, what is your name?"

"Thonnir-"

"Look, Thonnir, when that ice breaks, your wife, that vampire, is going to try to kill us. She doesn't care who you are or where you come from, if you have blood, she will drink it. A decision needs to be made. Are you going to let me have that axe so I can-"

"NO!" Thonnir roared and jumped up. "You are NOT killing my wife!"

"THONNIR! She may have killed Helgi!"

Thonnir stopped. I wasn't sure if that was true or not, but in order for me to not get on this man's bad side for killing his undead wife, I had no other options.

"She...killed that little girl? Oh Laelette..." Thonnir's gaze flicked to the dug up grave and to Laelette's almost defrosted form. He swallowed.

"Let me do it."

He picked up the axe, and I murmured "Thonnir, you don't have to-" He swung the axe, and with a wet crack that made bile rise into my throat, he drove the axe into Laelette's neck. Not even a gurgle was heard, as a pool of blood spread out beneath Laelette's now still form. Thonnir dropped the axe and said "Alva told me she had joined the Stormcloaks. Looks like Alva is a damned liar."

Alva again? "Thonnir, why is Alva everywhere in this town? Your wife, my husband, the odd behaviour of Hroggar... What's going on?"

"I don't know, but if your husband has begun seeing her, then you need to grab him and keep him as far away as possible from her." I kept his eyes averted from Laelette's remains. "Laelette would go to her house, take walks with her in the evenings, even though she used to hate her. All of a sudden they were best of friends." He gave me a wary look. "Maybe Laelette DID run off to join the Stormcloaks and got attacked on the way there, but my Laelette would never just up and leave. Alva is up to something. If you find that something, come find me." And with that, he walked away, axe in hand.

This post has been edited by Elisabeth Hollow: Dec 31 2012, 07:04 AM

[King Of Beasts]

Argh! It gets me so mad that Alva has Onmund under her spell! When Kayla gets her hands on that little [censored] I hope she rips her head off. I say: HIRE THE DAWNGUARD!

"IIZ!" I shouted at her head, and her head and torso were frozen. Her greatest weapon taken away, she kicked and flailed around, allowing me to knock her over. She couldn't get up, the ice was weighing her down very well.

ROFL I'm probably the only one who would think its funny to watch a person with their head frozen in a block of ice, laying on the ground, wildly flailing their legs and arms, and not able to get up.

This was an amazing chapter, BRAVO! can't wait for the next one.

This post has been edited by King Of Beasts: Dec 31 2012, 07:16 AM

[Elisabeth Hollow]

ROFL I'm probably the only one who would think its funny to watch a person with their head frozen in a block of ice, laying on the ground, wildly flailing their legs and arms, and not able to get up.

I kept giggling and had to go "Kayla! Serious part! Quit playing around!" XD

[Acadian]

‘Doors! Why doesn't this place have any doors?’
Nice poke at the inns of Skyrim!

What a ‘gonna punch her in the mouth’ scene this was! I don’t know whether to be more pissed at Alva or Onmund. Unless he truly is under some mighty powerful magical spell, he’s in big trouble and Kayla needs to consider the utility of a future with him. Since he seems somewhat of a mage himself, I’m not optimistic - one would think a mage would be able to detect the employment of such magicks against him and take steps to counter them. Argh!

And Kayla storms out of the inn right into a compelling quest. Hmm. . . seems Alva’s a common thread somehow.

Now, let me confess at this point that I'm an Oblivion player and don’t play Skyrim. Please bear that in mind when I share my perceptions with you as I may not know the boundaries between your fanfic and Skyrim quests/events. It’s actually kind of fun reading this way.

I learned here that Kayla has some history with the Dark Brotherhood – and apparently it didn’t go well for them. Also, unless I missed it earlier, I see Kayla knows some of that ‘word shouty magick’ where you cast special spells by yelling at folks.

Your extra editing efforts paid handsomely with this episode. Here’s the only tiny nit I could find:
‘Completely blind with with fury, I didn't put on warmer clothes or any armor before leaving the inn.’
(an extra ‘with’)

[Elisabeth Hollow]

‘Doors! Why doesn't this place have any doors?’
Nice poke at the inns of Skyrim!

What a ‘gonna punch her in the mouth’ scene this was! I don’t know whether to be more pissed at Alva or Onmund. Unless he truly is under some mighty powerful magical spell, he’s in big trouble and Kayla needs to consider the utility of a future with him. Since he seems somewhat of a mage himself, I’m not optimistic - one would think a mage would be able to detect the employment of such magicks against him and take steps to counter them. Argh!

And Kayla storms out of the inn right into a compelling quest. Hmm. . . seems Alva’s a common thread somehow.

Now, let me confess at this point that I'm an Oblivion player and don’t play Skyrim. Please bear that in mind when I share my perceptions with you as I may not know the boundaries between your fanfic and Skyrim quests/events. It’s actually kind of fun reading this way.

I learned here that Kayla has some history with the Dark Brotherhood – and apparently it didn’t go well for them. Also, unless I missed it earlier, I see Kayla knows some of that ‘word shouty magick’ where you cast special spells by yelling at folks.

Your extra editing efforts paid handsomely with this episode. Here’s the only tiny nit I could find:
‘Completely blind with with fury, I didn't put on warmer clothes or any armor before leaving the inn.’
(an extra ‘with’)

Alva convinced Onmund to take off his mage robes, and since he isn't skilled in Restoration, he can't shield himself too well without the robes. It's more than a jab at his magickal skills, it's a jab at his naivety. He went from his family home to the College to marrying Kayla. For all intents and purposes, Kayla is his "highschool sweetheart." Kayla, being an adventurer, may have more experience in this field. More of her story will come out, of course.

One mistake? Hot damn!!!

Yeah, Kayla is "The Dragonborn," but I'm not focusing on that at the moment. Eventually she'll be like "Well, MAYBE I should save the world," but right now, I'm focusing on her as a person and not as a hero.

And she killed the Dark Brotherhood. Every single one of them XD

I try to stay true to the quests, but change the dialogue and expand on the NPC reactions to suit the fic. In the next chapter, I'll be straying a bit from the quest, but the result is the same as the quest end.

Happy New Year everyone!!

This post has been edited by Elisabeth Hollow: Jan 1 2013, 09:57 AM

[mALX]

Chapter 3 was a quieting after the power of the second chapter, “too quiet” and leaves the reader still wondering what that nightmare was all about, and about the secrets of Kayla’s past. Awesome feeling of suspense in reading your story! I am loving this !!!!

Chapter 4 - Once again you prove your forte’ in writing natural dialogue that moves the story along well - Great Writing!

Onmund sighed. "Honestly? I just feel...like a trophy husband."

SPEW! LOVED this line!

I am a Nord man, with Nord man needs."

I thought of Grits’s Jerric immediately on this line, (sex and food in any order)

I could quote every single bit of the section on walking into the Moorside Inn, most especially the description of the bard and everything regarding Alva (including Kayla’s inner dialogue regarding her)! A great insight into why Onmund has been left home while Kayla was out adventuring all this time, ROFL !!! Absolutely LOVED that whole section!

This had me rolling:

or shove a fireball in her mouth. That would take away at least one service she offered to the men.

Actually, Onmund may have been cheating longer than Kayla knows of, here is a screenshot I caught of him ogling some girl in the bushes!


http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/Images/259193-1345223836.jpg


(Just kidding) - but Alva’s presence in your story does give rise to some speculation on Kayla’s dream about Onmund becoming a vampire! URK !!!!

You really ratcheted up the tension in this chapter, absolutely LOVING this!

Chapter 5 - I’m really not sure if this is Onmund talking or if Alva has used some vampiry charm powers on him.

SPEW!!! I think Hroggar took the beating she wanted to give Alva and Onmund, ROFL !!!

You are doing an AWESOME job with Kayla finding out what is going on in this town! I am totally LOVING this !!!!!!!

You nailed this, I was floored by how well you did the scene with the Jarl!

I flung the door open and the jarl's bodyguard drew his sword. "Jarl Idgrod," I began, staying at the doorway in case the bodyguard decided I was too risky to not fight, "I would like to investigate the death of Hroggar's wife and child. I have reasons to suspect that Alva is involved, and would like a chance to prove her guilt or innocence."

The Jarl quickly regained her composure and replied, "I know you came here with your husband and have seen him cavorting with Alva. Is this accusation coming from facts or jealousy?"

I couldn't believe how embarrassingly rash I was to have my first impression be as terrible as this one.

One nit - Joanna became Jonna between the 4th and 5th chapters. You did explain it, but may want to go back and edit it in the earlier chapter just for the sake of readers (like me) who are coming in afterward and reading.

I absolutely LOVED these last two chapters, you had me riveted to the pages in both!


Nit? - Chapter 6 is missing?


Chapter 7 - WHEW! Powerful chapter! Two scenes stood out strongly, the one between Kayla and Onmund and when Thonnir re-killed Laelette - AWESOME WRITE !!!! I am loving both your story and your writing of it!

[Elisabeth Hollow]

[quote name='mALX' date='Jan 1 2013, 03:23 PM' post='148230']


Nit? - Chapter 6 is missing?

[/quote]
Chapter 6 might be chapter 7. Everything is in order. Chapter 5 ended up being chapters 5, 6, and 7 lol. Or was it chapter 6 ended up...I don't know, but no chapters have been skipped :]


[quote]Actually, Onmund may have been cheating longer than Kayla knows of, here is a screenshot I caught of him ogling some girl in the bushes!


http://skyrim.nexusmods.com/Images/259193-1345223836.jpg[/quote]

He looks so handsome in this picture D: I have such a crush on Onmund lol.

I mean...ehm...-eyes dart back and forth-

[quote]I thought of Grits’s Jerric immediately on this line, (sex and food in any order)[/quote]
Oddly enough, I was only introduced to the handsome Jerric about 3 days ago :]

[/quote]One nit - Joanna became Jonna between the 4th and 5th chapters. You did explain it, but may want to go back and edit it in the earlier chapter just for the sake of readers (like me) who are coming in afterward and reading. [/quote] I know, I know. I think from now on I will write her as Jonna. I may slip up once in a while and call her Joanna though.

I REALLY appreciate everyone's reviews!! I know normally the authors answer questions or musings, but I don't want to answer a question, then be suddenly inspired and write it totally different. Not to mention when someone states something specific, chances are it's being answered in the next chapter. I'm not ignoring your questions, I promise!

This post has been edited by Elisabeth Hollow: Jan 2 2013, 03:45 AM

[McBadgere]

So much that is so goood!!... ...

Oh, and if this Onmund stuff is at least partly from experience...I'm so sorry... ...Pfft...Men!...

Oh wait... ...

Aaaamywho...

Loved it all...Brilliant stuff!!...

Nice one!...

*Applauds heartily*...

[Elisabeth Hollow]

My boss walked into work, and since I've been taking over his position at work because his apartment burned down (Weird, huh?!) he sent me home for a few hours so I wouldn't get in trouble for exceeding my hours too much. So I'm here, editing my story and relaxing for a bit. I haven't had time to edit this one as thoroughly as the last chapter, but I'm doing my best lol. Enjoy!



CHAPTER 8: Uhhhh...Chapter...8?

I heard a child's voice, excited. "You did it! You found me! And stopped Laelette. She tried to save me, I think. She started the fire, but then promised me we would be friends forever. She kissed my neck, and I got cold. But I'm not cold anymore, just...tired."

"Helgi?" No answer. I kicked a small patch of snow and cursed, then realized that this exonerated Hroggar of any crimes. But why would Laelette burn a child alive, just to turn her? And what did this have to do with Alva? Did Hroggar hire...no, that's too complicated. Why would Hroggar hire a vampire to burn his family alive just to move in with Alva? And how did this tie in with him needing to protect her the the dayti-

I felt my face pale. I began walking to Alva's house. Gods, if I wasn't wrong, then I hoped the truth was less terrible than I thought. I passed a few guards on my way, nodded courteously and gulping. I'm sure I looked odd, battling between terrified and passive facial expressions. I healed my arm along the way with the weak Restoration spell I knew, and once I reached her door, I looked around to see if there was anyone around. Nope. I knelt down and leaned my ear against the door. Silence. I picked the lock, snapping two in the process. I need to calm down.

The door swung upen, and flooded the street with... Darkness. Is there no one home? I wondered. I slipped in and saw Hroggar's sleeping form on the bed. I closed the door quietly, and he stirred. I froze.

"Alva..." he murmured sleepily, then silence. I let out a quiet sigh of relief and continued tiptoeing around the house. This shack was too small for two people to live in... I spotted the ring on the floor that was attached to the basement. Jackpot! The hinges squeaked only a tad, barely enough to be considered a squeak, and I descended down.

In the center of the room was an empty coffin. I began to tremble. Coffins were a common sight in Skyrim... In crypts, barrows, and vampire lairs. I walked forward and saw a small journal in the coffin. I picked it up and began to read.

"My life is dreary. Where is my prince come to rescue me? Where is my bold Nord warrior to sweep me off my feet?

I met a man today when picking nightflowers. He is exciting and exotic. We kissed in the moonlight. It was so romantic. I'm going to see him again tonight.

Now I understand the true colors of the night. Movarth has shown me the true black of night and the true red of blood. He has promised me a feast of blood if I do his bidding in Morthal."

I dropped the journal. Not... Movarth. I thought he had moved to Cyrodil ages ago. Maybe even Hammerfell. He was still in Skyrim?

I picked the journal again and looked for something, anything to uncover where his lair was. Nothing. Except Movarth was going to do the exact same thing to Morthal as he did to my-

The almost imperceptible squeak of the basement entrance hinge was overpowered with Hroggar's enraged roar as he came crashing down the ladder. He landed on his left leg weird, but completely ignored it and limped towards me, dagger in one hand.

"I WILL KILL YOU!" he bellowed, slashing his dagger at my neck. I dodged easily, ducked under his arm and kicked at his bad leg. He fell on his knees and grunted, and I took that opportunity to pull the dagger from his grasp and place him in the exact same position I had him in earlier today.

"Okay, listen up for the second time. I need to know where Movarth is." I put pressure on his arm, causing him to grunt and grit his teeth in pain. He tried to shake his head, but the floor kept him from doing that.

"Alright, how about another approach? Right at this moment, your precious Alva is doing nasty, dirty," I choked back some tears, "and probably illegal things with another man-MY husband. If you want me to go stop that, you need to tell me everything I need to know."

"Or I could just let Alva eat him!"

Does nothing ever go my way? Am I really so bad at threatening that everyone laughs in my face??

"The entire town is going to be cattle for an ancient vampire, who is ALSO bedding Alva!"

"Good! This town is useless!"

"She may be having relations with Lami?"

"Everyone is entitled to a little experimentation!"

What?! That's it. I'm never, EVER becoming a spy. Information is just not my business.

"You know what, Hroggar? I think I know why Alva picked you to be her protector. You are the saddest excuse for a man I've ever seen. You allowed your wife and child, two people who loved you to no extent and unconditionally, die for a woman who isn't even half as attractive as a horker. Experimentation my taut elf british boat! Did you never wonder what their dying moments were like while you bedded Alva? Did you know Laelette tried to turn Helgi into a vampire?"

Hroggar stopped struggling. "Helgi? My Helgi was..." he trailed off.

He was silent for a moment. "I didn't burn the house down. I can tell you that much. I can't even begin to fathom why I never questioned my family's death."

I let go of his arms and stood up. "Atone for this now. Tell me what I need to know so I can avenge your family's death."

Hroggar stood up and faced me. "I can't." He saw my face and said, "You don't understand, it's not that I won't, I CAN'T. Only the guilt of this moment is allowing me to break a few chains. All I can say is that Movarth is very, very near. And there isn't very many hiding spots or cave-" He cut off in mid-sentence, and I think I caught his drift.

"Can I trust you to not follow me? Or try to kill me again?"

He shook his head.

"Will you let me tie you up?"

He got into a defensive stance, like he was going to try to punch me if I tried to do anything. "OKay," I sighed. "Then that means I have to try to knock you out, THEN tie you up." His face set in determination, he lunged at me, and I dodged him and shouted.

"IIZ!" The ice formed around his body, completly encasing it. His form was still standing up, arms wrapped around himself as if in a hug. I looked him in the eye and taped on the ice.

"You're only encased, not frozen completely through. You won't be in there long, so you won't suffocate. I'm going to keep you in here and lock the basement door, alright? I'll come back for you if I survive." And with that, I climbed up the ladder, and locked the basement door. I went to Jarl Idgrod, who wasn't too happy at being disturbed from her sleep. She read the journal.

"There is a cave nearby, northwest of here... If Hroggar said Movarth is nearby, that must be where he is. I suggest you make haste, and get your husband away from Alva as soon as possible."

I nodded. "Also, make sure your court wizard gives Hroggar a cure disease potion and dispels the magic on him. He isn't quite a completely obedient thrall yet, but given his inability to tell me everything he could and the complacency during the events that transpired, I'd say he is well on his way." I slammed the door behind me.

When I opened the door to the inn, I expected to see Alva and Onmund attached at the mouth, but they were nowhere to be seen. Lurbuk was passed out on a bench, but Jonna was sweeping.

"Where is Onmund? Where's Alva?" I sprinted to my room and began to put my armor on. Jonna called "They went on a walk, said the night was perfect for it." I sheathed Dawnbreaker and walked out. "Alva is a vampire. She's been trying to turn the town into cattle for her and her vampire group."

Jonna's face paled a little, and I ran outside, leaving her standing there with her broom. I grabbed two cure disease potions and flew out the door. I saw the townsfolk gathering, but ran passed them. No time for a posse. I headed towards the cave, hopefully, and eventually found its gaping maw. I ducked into the opening, hand on Dawnbreaker's hilt.

[King Of Beasts]

Great chapter! Alva is gonna get hers, that's for sure....

[mALX]

Kayla’s inner dialogue ROCK’d this whole chapter, but I especially LOVED the whole scene with Hroggar when she was trying to get information from him!

Details: Your tiny details add so much to the story, I could picture the whole scene with Hroggar when she wanted to tie him up by the detail you gave his actions - Awesome visual writing here, and also with Jarl Idgrod’s attitude over being woken up in the night - these little additions bring your story to life so well!

GAAAAH! A cliffhanger! Awesome Write, I am LOVING this story !!!!!

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Thanks y'all! ^.^

[Acadian]

‘I picked the lock, snapping two in the process. I need to calm down.’
This was very effective and efficient. Kayla not only told us she is rather skilled with lockpicks, but clearly displayed how upset and nervous she was.

‘Does nothing ever go my way? Am I really so bad at threatening that everyone laughs in my face??
"The entire town is going to be cattle for an ancient vampire, who is ALSO bedding Alva!"


Wow, that shout magic is very handy for temporarily putting someone on. . . well, ice.

’I ducked into the opening, hand on Dawnbreaker's hilt.’
You've done a great job of building things up here for quite the showdown. This continues to be a wonderful story!

Nits.
‘And how did this tie in with him needing to protect her the the dayti-‘
Two ‘the’s’ in a row. Perhaps you wanted something like ‘during’ instead of the first ‘the’?

“Experimentation my taut elf british boat!”
Caught by the auto censor. Testimony to doing at least one edit in 'forum format' such as in a PM to yourself.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

I didn't know that a-r-s-e was considered a curseword. My bad, lol

[mALX]

I didn't know that a-r-s-e was considered a curseword. My bad, lol

Yes, a$$ is "boat" (for some odd reason), ar$e is "British boat" (as in ar$e is how the British say a$$), lol.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Well then. lol

[mALX]

Well then. lol

Lol! One of the best ways to figure out what is acceptable on this site is to send yourself a PM with every curse word, dirty word, filthy word, or just plain disgusting word on it in numbered list form. (Copied and pasted from your word processor so you have a copy of what you originally said).

When you receive the PM, open it and see which words have been changed (and to what).

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Yeah. And then I'll have to become more creative. Even though the filter changes are hilarious XD

[mALX]

Yeah. And then I'll have to become more creative. Even though the filter changes are hilarious XD

I know, like "loaf of bread" for a man's thingy. Whoever wrote that one must have been looking into one of those mirrors that gives an inflated view.