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> Phoenix: Rise of a Legend, Breeva's life in Cyrodiil
Diamandis
post Feb 28 2013, 10:30 PM
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HI! Here is my second attempt at starting my OBLIVION fanfic! I changed the format, as before the plan was to do a sort of story within a story format, but I couldn't get it to work.

But here it is!

This is the tale of Breeva, a fifteen year old Dunmer and Dark Brotherhood assassin. The story follows her life as she struggles with adolescence as she tries to find a place in the world.

She has a dark beginning, but I hope you like her story smile.gif

Now, I'm not too familiar with a huge amount of Lore, but i'm gradually learning as I play the game and read other stories, so the story is literally how I perceive the game to be. Until I get more of a grip on lore, anyway.

A warning: the prologue does contain very... graphic imagery of gore, but don't let this put you off. The rest of the story wont be as gory!

This post has been edited by Eva: Mar 3 2013, 08:15 PM


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Diamandis
post Feb 28 2013, 10:34 PM
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VOLUME ONE: BLOODY BEGINNINGS


Prologue



I can still remember the day so clearly; the day I killed for the first time.

I can remember the feel of freshly cut blood oozing from my fingertips… but it wasn’t my blood.

You always remember your first kill. Some people kill for pleasure, some in an act of desperate passion.

Me? I did it because the dirty, lowlife deserved to have his throat slit.

I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of accomplishment then I shuck into his bedroom in the middle of the night. I remember to subtle adrenaline I felt when I slipped my dagger from my belt. I remember the
quiet rage I felt toward the man as I plunged the dagger into his throat as he slept.

I remained silent for a time, staring coldly at the lowlife as he gasped for air like a fish out of water. I sat, locking my eyes with his as I watched the blood fall from his wound as he took his final breath.

Silence overcame me. I must have been sat for an hour before I made any form of movement.

Although he deserved to die, I couldn’t help but feel guilty somehow. But why?

Maybe it wasn’t the act itself that brought my guilt; but the fact that I was now officially a killer.

Only fourteen years old and I now knew how it felt to take a life.

… So I remained on the floor, leaning against the wall; every inch of me covered in the blood the sprayed from my victims throat.

I wiped the blood from my mouth, opening it slowly to catch a small breath of air.

Suddenly, in that single moment, what I had done had sunk in.

But I wasn’t sad, nor was I overcome with desperate emotion. I was proud.

I’d rid Nirn of an awful man who didn’t deserve the life he had been given.

Thinking that, I got on my hands and knees as I slowly began to crawl toward the man.

When I was face to face with him I felt his empty eyes judge me; which was ridiculous. Dead people can’t have opinions.

I shook off the thought, the reach out to close the man’s eyes. He couldn’t stare any longer.

I gently ripped the Nightshade from my hair and placed it on his cold corpse.

I’d had my revenge now… but It didn’t feel like it was enough. I needed more. Had I gained a thirst for killing?

I wasn’t sure.

Then he came.

I suddenly felt a cold chill in the air. I turned to see a hooded stranger wearing a long, black robe stood behind me.

His gaze was intense; but his smile seemed loving.

“How did it feel?” He asked me.

I didn’t say a word, simply looked back at my victim.

“He deserved it Breeva, after everything he did to you.” The man proclaimed.

I felt confused, so I turned to look at the stranger, “How do you know what he did to me?”

The stranger smirked mischievously, “This day has been foreseen, Breeva. Sithis has seen your path.”

“Sithis?” I asked.

The stranger smiled again, this time offering a hand, “Come with me, Breeva. We have much to discuss.”

I slapped his hand away from me, standing up, “NO! Get away from me!” I screamed.

The stranger said nothing, yet he refused to budge.

I gave him a curious, yet nervous look, “Who are you?”

The man didn't answer immediately… it was almost as if he wanted me to feel his revelation. A dark sense of dread… but also a sense of familial comfort.

“My name is Lucien Lachance. I am with the Dark brotherhood; and I am here to take you home.” He revealed.

“…but… I am home…” I whispered pitifully.

“There is clearly nothing left for you here. Your mother is dead… and you’ve made certain that your father followed in her footsteps.”

“DON’T TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER THAT WAY!” I growled, before turning more kittenish, “You know nothing about my mother. She was a good woman.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Lucian responding in a deadpan manner. “But the point I’m making is clear.”

I folded my arms, almost trying to protect my soul from becoming filled with more evil than it had already been infused with.

“I can offer you a better life,” Lucien continued, “A family. People to love you.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“There are people waiting. They know you’re coming, and they’re waiting to welcome you with open arms.”

I thought about what he said for a moment,”… really?”

Lucien replied with a gentle nod.

I wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not, but there was one thing I was sure of. There was nothing left for me in this life anymore.

I was alone.

But maybe… just maybe, if I went with Lucien and accepted his offer, I wouldn’t be alone all by myself…

This post has been edited by Eva: Feb 28 2013, 11:17 PM


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King Of Beasts
post Feb 28 2013, 10:46 PM
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QUOTE
Me? I did it because the dirty, lowlife deserved to have his throat slit.

I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of accomplishment then I shuck into his bedroom in the middle of

the night. I remember to subtle adrenaline I felt when I slipped my dagger from my belt. I remember the

quiet rage I felt toward the man as I plunged the dagger into his throat as he slept.

I remained silent for a time, staring coldly at the lowlife as he gasped for air like a fish out of water. I sat,


Ahh...sweet revenge. I wonder what *man did to Breeva. If I'm correct, is that her father?


Quite a chilling introduction. I like it! Great write, and good job goodjob.gif

This post has been edited by King Of Beasts: Feb 28 2013, 11:02 PM


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Elisabeth Hollow
post Feb 28 2013, 10:47 PM
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TAKE IT, BREEVA! smile.gif


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ghastley
post Feb 28 2013, 11:06 PM
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I was waiting until you'd had a chance to clean up the extra spacing the edit control did to your text, but since others have leapt in, I'll follow.

I like the atmosphere you've established, but I'm not sure the use of the impersonal phrase "the man" for her father fits with her actual feelings about him. It may make sense later, when her assigned victim means nothing to her, but at this point he's anything but "just another contract". There's probably another way to phrase those lines that doesn't reveal who he is/was, but doesn't contradict the anger that was the driving factor for the murder. Maybe just "him/his"?

You've also used the same phrase referring to LL later, where it does fit, losing the contrast you need between the two men.

(Was that a case of praising by faint damnation?) kvright.gif


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mALX
post Mar 3 2013, 03:15 PM
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First off, I am so sorry it took so long to get here and read - very hectic week.

Between you and Liz, I won't be able to eat the rest of the day! Not sure if I like this one as well as your other two stories, will you be continuing them too? Great Write!



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Diamandis
post Mar 3 2013, 07:04 PM
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@King of Beasts: Ahh thank you! Yes, that man was her father smile.gif

@Elizabeth: biggrin.gif

@Ghastly: Thank you for your advice smile.gif

@mALX: Although I PM'd regaring your question, I hope you enjoy this smile.gif

PREVIOUSLY
. A fourteen year old Breeva murdered her father in an act of unknown revenge.
. Lucien Lachance offers Breeva a chance to join the Dark Brotherhood

____



1. Home Sweet Home, I



The darkness surrounded me. I saw my target. It stared my in the face; mocking me. I wasn’t worried; I knew I could take it.

I crouched among the shadows, unsheathing my collapsible bow and sheathing an arrow.

I lined a shot, aiming for the head of my target.

I focused my concentration, breathing in a gentle rush of air as I kept my eyes on the target.

I smiled, preparing to unleash my arrow and watching it soar through the air.

“Bye…” I whispered as I started to release my arrow.

“BREEVA!”

I fumbled, jumping out of my skin as I heard my name being called from my left. I fired the arrow, missing my target by mere inches.

I sighed angrily, looking at the woman who approached me.“Breeva, Ocheeva wants to see you. It sounds important.”

I groaned, collapsing my bow and hooking it to my belt, “Antoinetta, I’m training.”

Antoinetta raised her eyebrow, “against that silly wooden puppet again?”

“Well yeah; unless you wanna volounteer?” I replied sarcastically.

Antoinetta glared at me, folding her arms, “… what is the matter, sister?”

“… Nothing.” I replied, gathering my training equipment and putting them in my satchel.

“It’s because you want to kill something… isn’t it?” The blonde beauty responded with a cheerful tone.

“No. No I don’t want to kill anything.” I replied, met by a look from Antoinetta, “I mean that’s not why I’m in a bad mood… not that I am in a bad mood.”

Antoinetta grinned, “Okay, if you say so.” She then turned to leave the training room, shouting to me as she left, “Don’t keep Ocheeva waiting!”

“No… wouldn’t want that…” I mumbled to myself as I finished backing my arrows and potions into my satchel.

I put the satchel over my shoulder and stood up; a sudden rush of worry washing over me as I began to ponder what Ocheeva could have wanted.

I left the training room, entering the expansive underground sanctuary of the Dark Brotherhood underneath

Cheydinhal and walking toward Ocheeva’s room down the corridor.

The architecture of the sanctuary was ancient, built with large stones and held up with a variety of pillars. The Dark Brotherhood symbol, a black handprint, covered red quilts that hung from a many of the walls. The air of the Sanctuary was dank and dismal, years without fresh air and sunlight took it’s toll on the old bunker. But although it wasn’t very homey, it was home.

My brothers and sisters of the sanctuary were my family; and they were the only family I had.

As I reached Ocheeva’s room I knocked on the door and entered it, spotting the Argonian Executioner sat at her table and reading.

“You wanted to see me?” I greeted, nervously.

“Yes Breeva, come and sit.” She ordered.

I nodded, and then walked toward the table sitting opposite Ocheeva. I felt all jittery; my hands began to sweat as I plastered on a fake smile to hide my panicked worry.

Ocheeva put her book on the table then looked at me, staring into my eyes, “We have a problem.”

“We do?” I replied, getting more anxious as I wondered what she was referring to.

Ocheeva continued to look at me as she leaned forward in a business-like manner. “Yes we do…”

A silence followed.

Ocheeva then unleashed the most wicked of smiles, “It appears we forgot that it was your birthday last week.”

The panic fell from my body like a weight had been removed.

I laughed off the remaining nerves, “Yes… It was, but it’s fine. It’s not important.”

“Of course it’s important. You’ve been with us for just under a year and you know the rules; train a year then kills are near.” Ocheeva grinned.

“Witty.” I replied.

“I think you’re ready to go out into the field now.” Ocheeva declared.

I started to feel nervous again, but for a different reason. “… Oh… okay.”

“When you came to us you were a shell. You’d suffered massive emotional trauma and, to be honest, you were of no use to us; but we weren’t going to turn you away.” Ocheeva stated.

“… Thanks?” I replied, not sure if it was a compliment.

“But in this past year you’ve grown into a capable young woman. Your stealth skills are incredible and your ability as a marksman is off the charts.” She said. That was definitely a compliment.

I smiled, feeling honoured that she felt such passion about the skills I had worked so hard to hone. I had been waiting for the day the Brotherhood saw me FINALLY capable enough to do contract kills… but for some reason I couldn’t lose this feeling in my gut.

I knew this day would come, and I was ready for it… but a part of me wished it hadn’t. I knew that I would be punishing the guilty ad I’d made it clear that those were the only kinds of contracts I wanted… but I didn’t know how to feel.

So instead of thinking too much about it I decided to do what I was brought here to do.

Kill.

I looked at Ocheeva, “So… what do you want me to do?”

This post has been edited by Eva: Mar 5 2013, 07:17 PM


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Acadian
post Mar 4 2013, 03:03 PM
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A new story!

Regarding lore, my opinion is that the impressions you form in game are best; I dont care too much about lore obscured by dusty books and websites. Use your impressions, and mold lore to suit your purposes its your story, after all. I like to use lore primarily as a springboard for imagination, not as a club to wield against other writers.

So, we have a young and vulnerable orphan approached by the promising lure of a loving family. LL knows exactly which buttons to push!

Later, with a year of training tucked into her quiver, Breeva is ready to sortie forth and smite the guilty. I wonder if the DB will continue to support her purity of purpose.


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ghastley
post Mar 4 2013, 06:51 PM
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There's not a lot of Antoinetta or Ocheeva in there, but you manage to get some character showing, and it's quite consistent with those in the game.

I groaned, collapsing my bow and hooking it to my belt, Antoinetta, Im training.

Antoinetta raised her eyebrow, against that silly wooden puppet again?

Well yeah; unless you wanna volounteer? I replied sarcastically.


I liked this bit. Says a lot about both characters and their relationship in not much space.

I hope, if she's going to use a collapsible bow, that it's magically reinforced. Otherwise her skills may be eclipsed by equipment malfunctions. Letting Antoinetta distract her is a bit worrying too. That could be a guard when she's out on a contract.


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King Of Beasts
post Mar 4 2013, 09:42 PM
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So.....Breeva took up Lachance's offer? evillol.gif


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Diamandis
post Mar 8 2013, 07:37 PM
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@Acadian: Thank you for reading! I'm glad my lack of lore knowledge doesn't bother you! Haha. I hope you enjoy the story!

@Ghatsley: I like your interpretations of the characters relationships. I'm glad to hear your opinions smile.gif

@KoB: YEAH she did! biggrin.gif hehe. Let's just see where this goes...

PREVIOUSLY
.After a year in the Dark Brotherhood, Breeva is finally sent of her first contract.

____


2. Contract I: Rufio



Ocheeva gave me my first contract: a man named Rufio. She said he would be an easy kill to test my skills.
Why did this man deserve to die? I had to ask about to see what everybody knew, but Antoinetta informed me that Rufio was on the run for murder. She couldn’t go into any further detail, as she didn’t know anything else; but it was good enough for me.

I was to punish a man guilty of taking a life; I was doing something worthwhile. True, he should maybe spend the rest of his life rotting in a damp, rat infested jail cell, but as far as I was aware somebody important wanted Rufio dead, so I was to do my job.

Not only that, but as I sat in the Sanctuary Quarters with Antoinetta, she gave me gave me some advice.

“The best thing to do when travelling to a from a contract is to come up with a different persona… a disguise,” she started, and then chuckled, “When I was sent to kill the owner of a brothel I wore the apparel of a lowly prostitute. That was a good day...”

So I was to travel to the Inn of Ill Omen, a small, out-of-the-way Inn located on the green road, south of the imperial City. Rufio had been spotted there a few times; but not only that I had been told that the publican of the Inn was expecting a ‘visitor’ for Rufio. I worried slightly that the publican had been threatened by my family into keeping quiet; but as long as he wasn’t physically threatened, I decided not to worry.

I had to much on my mind to begin with. This was to be my first kill; or rather my first organised one. I felt nervous. I knew I was doing the right thing, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a better way.

Maybe I was scared that I would again feel the overwhelming and sickening guilt I had similar to when I killed my father.

But then I reached the location, forcing me to stop thinking about what might happen and focus on what I was sent there to do.

I stood outside the Inn of Ill Omen, looking at the worn down establishment and I took in a large gulp of fresh air, calming my nerves. I looked down at my apparel; a red robe with a gold trim. I decided to perceive myself as a travelling scholar so little attention would be drawn to me; I only hoped it was a convincing enough cover.

I entered the in, spotting a man behind a counter opposite the door I came in from. I assumed this was the publican, so I approached him. I was shaking like a leaf; but I don’t think it was too obvious.

“Hello,” I said as I approached the publican, “I’m looking for a man… I was wondering if you could help me?”

The publican gave me a look of suspicion, “Does he have a name?”

“… Rufio.” I said.

The publican’s eyes suddenly grew very wide; subtly terrified, “oh… yeah, um… I know Rufio. He’s been here for a couple of weeks now,” His tone then then turned quieter, “He’s in one of the basement rooms.” He informed me, pointing to a trap door beside the Inn’s entrance.

I performed a small smile. I knew that the publican knew who I was, and why I was there; but the fact that he was utterly terrified about my presence, MY presence made me feel awful. Without even knowing me or my agenda, he immediately assumed I was a bad person. In some respect yes, I was a bad person seeing as I was on my way to commit murder… but I didn’t want that to define me. Maybe I was nave for thinking such things.

Maybe a killer was all I was ever going to be.

“Thank you…” I nodded, walking away for the publican and heading to the trap door to the basement. I passed a redguard woman stood beside the Inn’s entrance who, as soon as I climbed down to the basement, rushed over to the publican; no doubt to gossip about my intentions.
So I got into the basement, seeing a long corridor before me with two doors; one of them obviously leading to Rufios room.

I took another breath to calm my nerves before removing my robe and placing it on the ground. Underneath my robe I had my Assassins armour; a tights, black leather outfit covering my entire body, which included a hooded mask to cover my face. The armour felt like a second skin; easy to manoeuvre about it.

I walked toward the first door and opened it. Nothing. A sigh of relief. I had another few seconds to think about whether it was the right thing to do.

But I was there for a reason. I wasn’t about to weasel out of it anytime soon. SO I reached the second door in the corridor and opened it; and there he was. Lying on a bed was an elderly man; maybe in his early sixties. I was surprised that he was old; when you hear murderer you immediately assume somebody with a little more bounce in their step.

“Rufio.” I said as I stood beside his bed. He immediately shot up and scrambled to his feet, glaring at me with a similar, but more obvious terror in his eyes like the publican had.

“Who are you?” He panicked, “What are you doing here?”

I gave him a look of hatred, in a attempt to intimidate him, “I think you know why I’m here…” I warned as I slowly started to approach him.

I put his arms up as a sign of mercy as he backed away from me, “No! NO! It wasn’t my fault! It wasn’t! I didn’t mean to kill her! I told her to stop struggling but she wouldn’t! SHE WASN’T MEANT TO DIE, PLEASE!”
Rufio’s revelation shocked me. Not only did he kill a girl… but his excuse was that she should have just let him rape her. She was either to have her innocence ripped from her, or she had to die for trying to fight it.

My next move was clear to me. It felt personal now. The guilt and worry eased from my body.

I hastened toward Rufio, quickly pushing the old man against the wall, knocking him down. I then watched him cower in fear as I put my hand against his chest. I wasn’t going to put a blade to his abdomen, or an arrow to his head. I decided to do something a little more symbolic, “It’s time to make your heart of ice a little bit more literal, Rufio,” I said as I prepared a touch of frost spell.

I stared at Rufio as he screamed. The ice emerging from my hand slowly penetrated his skin. He tried pushing me away, even attempted to escape, but my spell left it impossible. Every nameable liquid in his body began to drop in degrees, glacially torturing the old pervert. Soon his heart was completely frozen, rendering the sicko dead.

I stood up, gazing at the corpse of the man I had been sent to kill. His eyes were still wide with horror and his mouth was still mid scream.

I continued to look at him as I reached into my fanny pouch, unveiling a nightshade that I dropped onto his body.

I then started to walk away; smiling.

The world was rid of another monstrous pig.

This post has been edited by Eva: Mar 8 2013, 07:59 PM


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King Of Beasts
post Mar 8 2013, 08:11 PM
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So Breeva completed her first contract eh?

Don't worry Breeva, your first contract is never easy evillol.gif

I'm guessin' that guilty conscience of hers will give her trouble in the future. If she can only kill a person who has done something bad and not feel guilty, how will she kill a person who has done nothing?

Great chapter goodjob.gif


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mALX
post Mar 9 2013, 01:21 AM
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First off, I am so sorry it took so long to get here, I have been sick as a dog this week.

QUOTE

Well yeah; unless you wanna volounteer? I replied sarcastically.

Antoinetta glared at me, folding her arms,


ROFL !!! Yes, Antoinetta needs to be the target! Loved this interchange!


Very nice killing of Rufio in the next chapter! Inventive! And yeah, Rufio is an easy kill because you know he deserves whatever he gets, lol.

I always wondered what would happen if you killed all your DB targets before sleeping - but then again you'd never get the awesome rewards probably.

Great updates!



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Rihanae
post Mar 10 2013, 10:09 PM
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I like this! You've got a good start!

Breeva seems to have had a very very VERY rough start... I hope you delve more into her past in the future... I'm rather eager to discover what her father did to draw her to murder.

Like many I wonder how Breeva will deal with the concept of assassinating generally not-guilty-of-anything targets? Interested to see where you go with that.

Qoutes I loved:

QUOTE
I groaned, collapsing my bow and hooking it to my belt, Antoinetta, Im training.

Antoinetta raised her eyebrow, against that silly wooden puppet again?

Well yeah; unless you wanna volounteer? I replied sarcastically.


Hehehe

QUOTE
The publicans eyes suddenly grew very wide; subtly terrified, oh yeah, um I know Rufio. Hes been here for a couple of weeks now, His tone then then turned quieter, Hes in one of the basement rooms. He informed me, pointing to a trap door beside the Inns entrance


Poor Manheim. He must be feeling awful sad.gif

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Grits
post Mar 11 2013, 11:51 AM
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I like that you showed Breeva training in the Sanctuary.
QUOTE
Ocheeva then unleashed the most wicked of smiles, It appears we forgot that it was your birthday last week.

Nice! I was all tense thinking that they were going to give their youngest member some horrible punishment!

Its interesting that Breeva is questioning whether or not she should kill her target. It speaks well to her character that she has her own conscience, but it also spells trouble in an organization that follows the orders of the Night Mother.

Im looking forward to more of Breevas adventures! smile.gif


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Elisabeth Hollow
post Mar 11 2013, 01:16 PM
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The way Breeva killed Rufio was pretty cool!


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ghastley
post Mar 13 2013, 02:21 PM
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It's very much in keeping with her stated philosophy that she makes Rufio's execution fit his crime, by freezing his heart further. She'd said before
I knew that I would be punishing the guilty ad Id made it clear that those were the only kinds of contracts I wanted
But then the line
In some respect yes, I was a bad person seeing as I was on my way to commit murder
especially in the first person, seemed to contradict that. Maybe "perform an execution" would be more her way of thinking about it? But then you mention her feeling guilt later on,
The guilt and worry eased from my body.
so maybe not. And after re-reading the line, I'm thinking that she's trying to see it from the publican's viewpoint. That ambiguity could of course be what you intended. kvright.gif

Anyway, this story has sucked me in, and made me care about what she's thinking, so you must be doing something right!



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