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> Flying High Above My Window, A new song need critizism
Doomed4Eternity
post Nov 19 2005, 11:47 AM
Post #1


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Joined: 12-November 05
From: in the jaws of oblivion



"Flying High Above My Window"

By Joshua Finch "Doomed-4-Eternity"


Creatures Fly high above my window,
Cliff racers fly higher than the mountains,
Soaring high above the clouds,

Pwang, Pwang,
I struck them down,
Pwang, Pwang,
I will celebrate, I shall hire a clown,
Pwang, Pwang,
They are now extinct,
Pwang, Pwang,
That clowns feet really stink!

Now i can fly high above my window,
I can now fly higher than the Mountains,
And now, i can soar higher than the clouds,

Pwang, Pwang,
Saw a flying Dwemer ship,
Pwang, Pwang,
I licked my lip,
Pwang, Pwang,
There may be good loot,
Pwang, Pwang,
However there could be more soot,
Pwang, Pwang,
I went abroad,
Pwang, Pwang,
I found a room, on my own accord,
Pwang, Pwang,
I went across the plank,
Pwang, Pwang,
My life suddenly shrank,
Pwang, Pwang,
I jumped off!
Pwang, Pwang,
I saw Freddie Flintoff!
Pwang, Pwang,
I used my my Alteration,
Pwang, Pwang,
I found my spells of Levitation!

My life went by,
A tear fell off my eye,
I also went with it,
Before i fell into my PE kit!

I thought our library needed some more songs so heres my first of a few!

(If yoiur wondering who Josh is thats me!)

NEED SOME EDITING AND CRITIZISM THX


This post has been edited by Doomed4Eternity: Nov 19 2005, 11:49 AM
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vaanic~one
post Nov 19 2005, 07:14 PM
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Er, okay, the references to PE kit and Freddie Flintoff do not fit in the TES universe.


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Doomed4Eternity
post Nov 21 2005, 04:24 PM
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Joined: 12-November 05
From: in the jaws of oblivion



QUOTE(vaanic~one @ Nov 19 2005, 06:14 PM)
Er, okay, the references to PE kit and Freddie Flintoff do not fit in the TES universe.
*



yer sry that was my bad humour in that!

any different ideas n that then?
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Stargazey
post Nov 21 2005, 11:07 PM
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Joined: 10-April 05
From: NYC



Is there any chance that you could start ONE topic for all of your writings, and let people view them there?

A topic for every story is getting a bit spammy.


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Doomed4Eternity
post Nov 22 2005, 01:53 PM
Post #5


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Joined: 12-November 05
From: in the jaws of oblivion



QUOTE(Stargazey @ Nov 21 2005, 10:07 PM)
Is there any chance that you could start ONE topic for all of your writings, and let people view them there?

A topic for every story is getting a bit spammy.
Star
*



ok sry
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Doomed4Eternity
post Nov 26 2005, 06:44 PM
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so any ideas or is this ready to go?
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minque
post Nov 26 2005, 07:00 PM
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QUOTE(Doomed4Eternity @ Nov 26 2005, 06:44 PM)
so any ideas or is this ready to go?
*


To go where exactly???? huh.gif


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Doomed4Eternity
post Nov 26 2005, 07:02 PM
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QUOTE(minque @ Nov 26 2005, 06:00 PM)
To go where exactly???? huh.gif
*



o like ready for your team editing,
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minque
post Nov 26 2005, 07:06 PM
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I suggest you ask Mr Gazey for his opinion! He┤s in the staff!


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Doomed4Eternity
post Jan 5 2006, 03:53 PM
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QUOTE(minque @ Nov 26 2005, 06:06 PM)
I suggest you ask Mr Gazey for his opinion! He┤s in the staff!
*



ok!
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Dantrag
post Jan 6 2006, 09:41 PM
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Except for the things that Vaanic one said, it's great!


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Doomed4Eternity
post Jan 7 2006, 01:04 PM
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Joined: 12-November 05
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QUOTE(Dantrag @ Jan 6 2006, 08:41 PM)
Except for the things that Vaanic one said, it's great!
*



thx!!! ill work on it!
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