Elder Scrolls III: Legends Options

[davion]

Hey guys im new here but this is somethin i was wanting to do and i didn't see any other topics so i will test it out here. If you have something to say in this topic thats not in char type OOC: then what you want to say before or after you've done your chars story(if you want to do one lol i am though just to show you guys what im aiming at. Other people aren't allowed to control other peoples chars in the story, can only talk about them or interact with them, cant have them do talking and whatnot, have to wait for them to reply. (Ex: I had just arrived at Balmora on the Strider and i saw a strange man walk by, his face was shadowed so i couldn't make it out, but the aura comeing from him was a fright i've never felt before.) like that. you can ask questions and whatnot but cant answer the questions, ya'know what im tryin to get at? well lets test it out see how well it goes over. I wanted to do this to get a feel of all of us interacting with each other insted of the same ol' basic solo-story.

[davion]

OOC: PS: You can control 2 chars if they both belong to you.


"Hey . . Hey man, wake up, are you okay?" the Dark Elf says. Davion gets to his feet, only to slump back down on the shobby bed from the rocking of the boat. "Still getting sea-sick eh Davion? *Chuckles*" Davion takes his head out of the waist basket next to the hammic and stands up. "Yeah i guess. Or it could have been the lack of food that we've been getting fed in the prison, but anyways. Have we stopped?" Davion wipes his lips on the sleeve of his tattered shirt. "Yeah, while you were sleepin' i overheard the guard say we've reached Morrowind, i think they'll let us go. Well, some of us anyways. *cough* i mean you *cough*" Davion gets a smirk on his face and says, "Me? Why me?" before the Dark Elf gets a chance to answer him, a guard aproaches and says, "Whats with all this talking i hear? It's supost to be total silence, you're not off the ship yet. Or at least, not you, Javis." Davion looks over at the guard then back at Javis, the Dark Elf. "Get collected your comming with me to shore." the guard exclaims then signals for Davion to follow him. Davion looks at Javis, and Javis nods, and Davion follows the guard. Davion and the guard walk for about 15 to 20 seconds before getting to a set of stairs leading up to a hatch door. The guard opens the hatch, and the brightness from the daylight blinds him for a moment, then starts moving up the steps and onto the deck. "The town guard will take you to the Sensus office, now get off my ship!" the guard says and pushes him down the ramp leading to the dock. Davion gets to his feet and looks around, the beautifuly luch greenery and the happy townspeople stun him in awe. "Come with me and we will get your citizanship papers." the town guard says, stairing at Davion with a plastic smile. "Uh, okay." Davion nods then follows him to the Sensus office and walks in, and the guard slams the door behind him.

[davion]

After hours of filling out papers and answering questions and signing documents, Davion was finally free to go; but now that he was free, where should he go? "Hey you, young lad, why don't you come over here and give an old man a hand, i'll give you some coin for helping me." the old man shouted. "G'day sir, what do you need help with?" davion asks. "I need you to move these crates into my storage underneeth my shop before sundown, damned vandals will take everything if i leave them out. Here's an advance on the coin i offered you, fifteen coin now, twenty-five coin when your done, now stop talkin to me and get to work." the old man hands him one third of the reward he had offered him, then walks back into his shop. Davion gets to work and days slowly turn into nights. When Davion has the last crate, he looks over to the dock and sees a boat show up, the same one he got off on. He hears the old man telling him to hurry up and so he rushes into the storage and puts it away and comes up the stairs to the old man to collect his fee. "You need a place to sleep boy?" the old man asks and davion replies, "yeah i do. Where is the nearest Inn around here?" davion asks the old man and the old man says, "Forget the Inns, they're night-time robbers i tell ya with those prices. *trails off* You'll stay here tonight, i got a spare bedroom upstairs. In my closet i have some spare clothes you can wear. Go, take a shower, get some sleep and meet me down here in the morning." The old man says as he points to the roof. Davion nods and hurrys upstairs and jumps onto the bed. Davion falls asleep before his head hits the pillow.

[jonajosa]

I liked it. I like how you can make the quests seem like real life activitys. Good job.

[minque]

[quote=jonajosa]I liked it. I like how you can make the quests seem like real life activitys. Good job.[/quote]

Oh yes I second that! very nice beginning really! Great potential!


One piece of advice though! Please write with some space between paragraphs! Now it´s a solid mass of words and I think it will improve a lot if you make it more reader-friendly......because I on my behalf will continue reading this.......

[davion]

Davion wakes up early the next morning to the call of the old man. "Davion, come downstairs and get something to eat, i got some more work for you." Davion gets dressed, combs back his long flowing blonde hair; hair hanging down to his butt from all those years in prison for a crime he didn't commit. "Ah there you are my boy, your looking healthier, and thats good because i need a healthy person for this next task, it also requires some muscle; but looks like you don't have that. Let me introduce you to my daughter, she will be your trainer until you are strong enough for the task i have for you. She will train you in the ways of melee combat and blocking; and teach you how to tap into your hidden powers that will allow you use use mana for spells and how to control them and what is best suited for whatever class you choose to become. Now, lets get this training underway shall we?" Davion looks at the old mans daughter, amazed on how a woman with so much muscle can still be sexy and beautiful. "Okay" Davion adds.

Three years pass and the once scrawny, weatherd 19 year old has become a man. Through his physical training with the old mans daughter and basic magical training from her also, Davion has become a most formitable opponant to all who try to oppose him.

"Okay, now about that task i told you about when you first got to my house. I've had you train because this task is urgant and requires you to be in top phsyical condtion. Take this letter and go to Balmora and speak to a man named Caus Cusdous, or whatever his name is i forgot, i'm getting forgetful at my old age. Anyways, he will have important information for you that you must hear. Your journey begins here, my young warrior. Go now, i'll send Savanna to Balmora in a month or two to see how your new life is going. Good luck my son." Davion looks at the old man strangly for a few seconds before taking the letter from the old mans offering hands. As Davion opens the door to leave the house, Savanna calls to him, "Wait Davion! You'll need this, it's a dangerious road to Balmora full of bandits and strange creatures that have just started apearing." Savanna tosses a heavy iron two handed sword and Davion grabs onto it with one and and swooshes it around the air with little effort before putting it through his belt loop. Davion looks back at Savanna and nods, winks, and vanishes out the door.

On the third night of Davions journey to Balmora, he finally reaches the walls of a town with two golden statues at the entrance to town. He looks around in awe to the size of the town. It was the biggest he had ever been in, filled with merchant shops and commoners everywhere with guards thrown in here and there. Davion walks over to one of the guards and asks, "Excuse me, do you know where one could buy a house around here?" and the guard replies, "Yeah its on the other side of the river, just down this road." the guard points to a back alley. Davion nods and continues down the alley when he hears fast moving footsteps from on top of the roof. Davion doesn't think anything of it and continues walking. A few seconds later, a band of thiefs jump down off the roof and corner him. "Give us your coin kid, we don't wanna have to scratch that pretty face of your-" the theif gets cut off by the blow of a ninja star in the side of his comrades head. "What the?!?" the theif leader exclaims. Davion and the remaining 2 theifs look on top of the roof on their left to see a short dunmer standing on the corner of the roof ready to pounce. "You should know better, this town belongs to the Tongs!" the stranger says then jumps down swiftly like a gymnyst. The remaining two theifs chicken out and run off and eventually get caught by the guards for an attempted pick pocketing later on.

"Thanks man you saved my life." Davion says, exausted. "No i didn't, you could have made short work of those petty theifs. By the way, my name is Sullavan, everyone just calls me Sully though. If you ever need my help again or assistance with a problem, come by the theifs guild and i'll see what i can do." and before Davion could get a word in, he vanishes.

[minque]

Yeah, Now we´re talkin´......see much more reader-friendly......

So keep it coming, it´s pretty good......

[Soulseeker3.0]

not half bad, i like it how your going off the hook and not going by the set script.

[davion]

Davion ponders on the thought of the stranger helping him for no aparent reason for a few minutes, then shakes off the daze and goes back to walking down the alley towards the rivers bridge. At this point Davion had questioned why he was freed from the prison when the whole town accused him of doing what he did not.

"Hey barkeep can i get another round?" Davion asks. "Sure thing kid commin' right up. By the way, who was that stranger that is sitting over there by himself?" the barkeep asks while tapping another keg. Davion looks over his shoulder, "I don't see anyone Hal, i think your eyes are playing tricks on you." The barkeep replies, "Heh i guess so, my eyes aren't what they used to be when i was your age." Davion and the barkeep exchange chuckles and small talk for about another hour before Davion decides to get up and leave. Davion gets to the door of the pub and walks outside then pukes on the dirt outside the tavern. Suddenly, a strange wind comes swooping by and Davion freezes when he hears these words muttered into his ear. "You betrayed me, all those years ago, why? . . . . . My children sleep, but they are not dead, keeping a watchful eye on you. The reign of Dagoth Ur will come to pass once more. . . ." then Davion snaps around to find no one behind him. Davion makes it back to his place and tries to sleep, but visions of a person in a golden mask leading him down a hall keep him from retreaving the rest he needs. "Davion wake up! Your having a nightmare! Wake up! DAVION!" a female voice shouts panicy. "Wha. . . where am i!?! Samantha?" Davion asks looking at the young woman. "Yeah its me husband, are you okay? you were having a nightmare." she replies to davion. "Yeah i think so, i dreampt i was being led down this hallway by a man in a golden outfit with a smile. It's strange, it was exstreamly comforting but yet it felt like someone was standing on my chest, i couldn't breath, i was terrified but it seemed so welcoming." Davion says staggering to his feet. "Well its okay now babe, your safe, back with your wife and new born daughter."

Davion finally arrives at his new house in Balmora and pulls out a chair from the small shobby table next to his bed. The thoughts of the death of his family plauge Davions mind like a whirl wind inside of his head. What would make one want to kill his family? He had no quarrels with anyone in that town, in fact, he was friends with everyone.

"Samantha?! Susan?!? Where are you guys!?!" Davion shouts before running into his burning house to find his wife and duaghter. Davion goes up stairs to find his daughter dead in his wifes lifeless grip in front of a dark elf with no shirt but a large club with blood on the tips of it. "You! You son of a...!" Davion shouts enraged, then charges the man and takes a swing but the dark elf vanishes before the hit could be landed. "What the...?!" Davion thinks, puzzled. Noticing the house burning down, he grabs his wife and child and rushes them outside and places them on the ground. Looking at his wife and childs chard body, he sees the same dark elf standing in front of him. Davion, wanting to kill this man, stopped himself for he didn't want to leave his dieing familys side. Time stops and the dark elf walks closer and says, "I am a dreamer, one of many. You struck down our lord on that acursed mountain, now the time has come for you to suffer for the betrayal you showered upon him." The dark elf vanishes and then time goes back to normal. "Arrest that man! Throw him in jail til we can figure out what to do with him!" A guard shouts.

[minque]

Ewwww.......what a terrible fate ..poor Davion! I say very nice approach, indeed it is......really looking forward to next installment!


One remark: Spellcheckers are pretty good and simple to use, it would improve it .........even more

:goodjob:

[davion]

Davion sits in his house for about an hour or two finally getting a chance to mourn for his family when a knocking comes from his door. Davion whipes the tears from his eyes and opens the door. "Are you Davion? Hi my name is Causus, i'm the one your suppost to report too. Can i come in? Thanks." The imperial says helping himself in the house. "Uh, sure make yourself . . . . comfortable?!" Davion says as he sees him pull out his hooka and starts to get lit on his bed. "What do you need me for?" Davion asks, sitting back down. Caus caughs a few times from the huge hit he just took and says, "Nothing really, but your new to Morrowind and it's my duty to make sure you sign on to one of the Guilds, weather it be the Mages Guild, Fighters Guild or Thiefs guild. Their all right next to each other, well save for the theifs guild, its on this side of the river." The imperial puts his hooka away and gets some papers out. "What are those?" Davion asks curiously. "Oh these are just papers you need to sign releaseing you into my custody." Davion nods then gets put a featherd ink pen. Davion and the Imperial exchange small talk for a while, getting on friendly turms with each other. As the Imperial leaves Davion tells him, "I'll go to the fighters guild in the morning." and closes the door.

[davion]

Davion gets woken up early the next moring to see someone stand above him. "Wh. . Who are you?" Davion asks, nurvously. The man jumps for a second then shouts before thrusting his dagger down at Davion, "Die, false incarnate!" Davion jumps out of bed before the dagger could hit him and rolls behind the assassin then realizes he left his sword underneeth his bed. The assassin snaps around and charges at davion. Davion gets to his feet and spears him onto the bed and socks him in the ribs to get him to drop the dagger then starts beating him repeadidly in the face until the assassin is out cold. Davion stands to his feet and whipes the blood off of his knuckles on his pants then picks up the dagger. When he picks up the dagger, he feels a rush of energy flowing through his arm. The longer he held the dagger the more he noticed that the veins in his arm were turning black, so he drops the dagger on the bed and runs over to Causus' house.

"Causus, wake up! I was just attacked by someone!" Davion shouts while shaking Causus. "What are you talking about?" Causus asks groggy. "I don't know i woke up and there was this assassin standing over me! He said something about a 'False Incarnate'? You know what he was talking about?" Causus jumps out of bed and demands that Davion takes him to his house.

On their way to Davions house, Davion stops when someone says something into his ear. "Indroli Nerevar, why did you betray me? Why did you turn your back to me when i was guarding the sacred items you had me guard for you? Why? I was your General? Your friend? Why would you betray me like that?" Davion snaps around to notice no one standing next or behind him.

"Hes gone. Hes not here anymore." Causus says to Davion. "What? What are you talking about? He was right here!" Davion shouts. "Well hes not here now is he? Did he leave anything behind?" Causus asks. "Yeah, before i left i took the dagger he used. I had to wrap it in a cloth because every time i held it, i wanted to hold on to it even more and use it, it was like i was entranced by it. Here!" Davion tells Causus as Causus reaches for the dagger.

"Also, when we were on are way over here, someone wispered something into my ear. He said, "Indroli Nerevar, why did you betray me? Why did you turn your back to me when i was guarding the sacred items you had me guard for you? Why? I was your General? Your friend? Why would you betray me like that?" and when i went to look to see who said that, noone was there." Causus freezes for a moment before saying, "I have to go, i'll be back in a few hours, go to one of the guilds and get some freelance experiance while you wait."

[davion]

Davion goes back to his house and collects his stuff he is going to need for the day and heads over to the Fighters Guild.

"Excuse me miss, who do i talk to about joining the fighters guild?" Davion asks curiously while looking around the two story building. "You talk to me, but. . . you don't look like a fighter, you don't even have armour. Here, take these 200 drakes and go get yourself some gear, then come see me when your equipt." Davion takes the gold graciously and walks out.

"Hey buddy i heard your lookin' for some armour? I got some stuff here of hi quality at extreamly low prices." a voice calls out to Davion, the sound comming from below him. "How'd you know i was looking for armour?" Davion asks. "Word gets around fast in this town kid, now what you lookin' for?" The stranger asks, waving for Davion to come towards him. "I only have 200 drakes, got anything for that price?" Davion asks pulling out his money pouch. "Yeah kid i think we can work something out. I'll sell you a pair of Chitin Boots and Chitin Gloves plus a Ald-ruhn left shoulder bracer for 150. Deal?" The stranger asks. "Yeah it's a deal, what's your name so i will know how to get in contact with you again when i get more gold." Davion asks while trading the drakes for the pieces of armour. "My name is Zed, my shop is next to the crates in front of Meldors Armoury." Davion knods, thanks him for the pieces of armour and walks back to the fighters guild.

Eydis, the fighters guild guildmaster says, "Nice armour, but did you check to see if you could fit in any of the pieces yet? Well get strapped i have a quest for you to do." Davion straps on his armour and walks back to Eydis, playing with his massive two handed sword in his sword sash. "Good, now that your ready heres your quest. A client of ours requested we send someone over to her house and clear out the rat infestation from her house. It's a simple task but it will help you work on your common enemies attack style. Go across the river, her house is the house on the right of the bridge in the middle. Come back to me when your done with the quest." Davion knods and walks off.

Davion gets to the other side of the Odai River when he spots a dumner woman standing outsider her house with the door wide open, and Davion figures thats the right house and aproaches the woman. "Heard you have a rat problem." Davion says with a smirk on his face. "I guess you could say that, theres three in the storage room upstairs and one in my bedroom. Take care of the ones upstairs first before they eat all my supplies." Davion says hes on it and heads up the stairs to the storage room.

Davion opens the storage room door and looks in to see three gigantic rats stairing right at him. Davion freaks out and slams the door. Davion shouts, "Damn ladie, those are some huge rats you got in there, what do you have in your storage, papi seeds?" Davion hears the elderly woman laugh and so Davion takes a few deep breaths and opens the door and charges in the room.

"Where'd they all go?" Davion asks, scratching his head. Suddenly, a squeek is heard from behind one of the crates and Davion pulls out his two handed iron sword and swings at it, and nails it swiftly on the head, cracking its skull in two. The next rat lunges at Davion and, with his sword still in the rats skull, hits the rats ribs, causing the ribs to pierce the heart and kill it instantly. Davion picks up his sword and kicks the rat off the end of his blade. Davion scans the room but doesn't see the third one and figures it ran off.

Davion says, "I think the other one ran off when the door was open." and once he says that the last rat jumps on him and sends him tumbleing down the stairs, landing at the edge of the riverbank. The rat gets off of Davion and starts to run away. Davion stands up and runs after the rat. Davion jumps onto the rats back about halfway down the river and restles with it. Davion curses at the rat for running away and snaps its neck. Davion looks up to see just about the whole town stare at him like he was insane, and Davion gets embarrassed, looks back at them, waves, smiles, and runs off to the fighters guild. Half way to the fighters guild Davion remembers he still has one mroe rat left, so he turns back and goes into the womans house.

Davion opens the bedroom door and the rat runs out into the streets and Davion sighs and says, "Not again!" and runs after it. Everyone, still starign at Davion, changes their views onto the running rat. Next thing they see is this huge two handed sword fly out of the air and pierce into the rats back. Davion walks over and yanks the sword out of the rat and looks at the tip of it. "Aww damn i broke it."

Davion walks back over to the elderly dumner and the lady says, "Thank you, for fixing my problem and the show." and hands him 300 drakes.

When Davion gets back to the fighters guild, Eydis says, "Congradulations, you've just offically made an boat of yourself over 4 rats, heres your 200 drakes for the job. Talk to me later i should have another quest ready for you." Davion accepts the drakes, muttering something to himself over the guildmasters sarcastic comment and walks out.

"So kid, you broke your sword huh?" Zed says laughing. "Who the hell told you?" Davion says pulling out his sword. "Noone kid, i can see you broke it." Zed says, continuing to laugh at Davion. "Oh, my bad heh. You have a sword i can replace this with?" Davion asks walking over to Zed. "Yeah kid, i have a longsword used by the imperial legion, used only ten times, for 48 drakes, or i have this Daedric Dai-Katana, but that's ganna cost you a little more." Davion looks at his sword then back at Zed and says, "I only have 500 drakes, and i heard those Dai-Katanas are expensive." Zed signals for Davion to get closer and says, "You give me that 500 drakes and put in a good word for me with Eydis, your guildmaster, and i'll give you the dai-katana. Deal?" Davion pulls out his coin bag and says, "Yeah thats a deal. But uhm, what do you want me to tell her?" Zed sighs in disbelief in what he just heard and says, "My god kid, seriously? ....Bah suprise me will ya?" Davion knods and walks back into the fighters guild with his new dai-katana.

"Nice dai-katana there Davion, Daedric? Who gave it to you?" Eydis says suspiciously. "I baught it from Zed across the street for 500 drakes." Davion replies. "Let me guess, he also asked you to, 'Put in a good word' for him to me didn't he?" Davion looks back and forth. "Uhm, no what ever are you talking about?!" Eydis chuckles and says, "Heh that figures, that mans been trying to get into my pants for ages, every sense he moved into Balmora. Tell him nice try." Davion sighs and walks out.

"So, what'd she say kid? Was it anything good?" Zed says wraping his arm around Davions kneck. "You were rejected. Tried persuading her to go on a date with you but to no avail. I'll keep tryin' though, shes bound to brea--! GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" Davion screams, holding his head after telling Zed the outcome. "Kid, whats wrong kid? Kid? KID?!? Guard, guard! Quick get some help!" Zed shouts out to the nearest guard, but the words comming from Zeds mouth quickly fade out of Davions ears as he falls to his knees, holding his head, having no choice but to listen to the loud screatching sound in his ears come from out of no where.

"Nerevar, You've maid your journey to Morrowind, for reasons you do not know yet." A mysterious female voice says. "Wh. . Why was i released? Where am i? Who are you?" Who is this Nerevar i keep hearing about?" Davion asks, struggleing to focus his eys in the dense dark room. " I, my child, am the goddess Azura. Where you are; you are in the time and space of the universe. Why you are freed; Cyrodill sees great potential in you and they need questions answered about you. You, my child, are the Nerevar Reborn. You have been visited many times sense you've come to Morrowind, havent you? In your dreams and waking hours." The Goddess Azura tells Davion. "Yeah, yeah i have. The dream is hard to discribe, but when i was awake, the people thats visited me has called themselfs, 'Dreamers'. Who are the 'Dreamers' and what is the meaning behind my dreams?" Davion asks, looking around trying to find the voice. "The dreams you've had are dreams put into your head by Dagoth Ur, leader of the Sleeper House, the Sixth House, House Dagoth. The Dreamers are Dagoth Urs' fallen Ashkan followers, former followers of the Sixth House."

"What Do these mean to me?" Davion asks. "Don't worry about that yet my child, go back to your world, and fear not the fears and temptations of Dagoth Ur, for i am ever watchful."

[davion]

PS: Feedback would be nice just so i know if theres stuff i could do to make it more interesting





removed by me, Alexander. I am not sure what you wanted to link here, but feel free to try again, somehow it didn't work out and now it looked like a bit of gibberish. so feel free to remove this comment and post the right link

[minque]

[quote=davion]PS: Feedback would be nice just so i know if theres stuff i could do to make it more interesting
[/quote]

Well I´m not sure what the above really says......

But your story is good , one advice is to use "he" sometimes instead of repeating Davion´s name .....but apart from that:

Go for it...continue by all means, it´s good and I´ll follow it for sure! :goodjob:

[jonajosa]

Do you have Microsoft word? Cause that would really make your story typing alot easier. It constantly spell/grammer checks your story. Not saying that your story needs to seriously reworked or anything. Its a good story. Keep it comming.

[minque]

Yes I use MS Word, write it in a word-file then copy and paste here, it works wonderfully!
And yes...I have one who read and edit before I post...... As english is not my first language I think it´s good to have someone checking.....

[davion]

Sprechen Sie deutschen minique? wenn doch was einstuft, sind Sie in?

[minque]

[quote=davion]Sprechen Sie deutschen minique? wenn doch was einstuft, sind Sie in?[/quote]

Ja..mach ich auch ...geht schon gut, na bist Du deutscher denn?

(Yes i do, the´s ok, are you german?

[davion]

ich habe Bin Deutsche für alles mein leben


though i live in america lol so im learnin my peoples language