Niran - The Years Before, Years 15-23 Options

[gamer10]

I was going to update my other story, but I was like, to heck with that. I found the urge to continue the story of my RP character was much too strong to resist. So here is the first chapter.


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"No, I can't keep 'im, can't afford to pay for the amount of care he'd need." The man said, standing up and brushing a few crumbs off his shirt that had managed to survive the full utilization of his mouth. He placed his old leather hat back onto his head, forcing it to mix once again with his grimy, unkempt hair.

The lady, who was sitting almost directly across from him, was basically begging.

"Please, not another of my children!" She cried out desperately, tears running down her face. She had been hoping he might change his decision, make the first exception.

His features did not change nor soften at all, he stayed firm in his decision, and he was getting a little annoyed at her.

"I told ya, if you don't listen, you'll go as well." He said angrily, grabbing the child they were discussing and heading outside, at a fast stride.

15 Years - Chapter 1

Niran woke up, rubbing his eyes, and looking tiredly around. He rose from bed, bathed, then donned a clean pair of clothes. They weren't goning to stay clean for very long, he was going to see what he could find in the forest today.

He strode down the stairs and nearly stumbled when he came to the bottom, his mind tended to wander off from his boring life.

Sitting at the breakfast table, he noticed his sister and mother where already there. Where was his father? He normally did not leave till night, to avoid pirates and such traveling the ocean.

He decided to ask the question,

"Mother, where has father gone to this morning?" Niran used his normal, carefree tone. Making sure he didn't sound the least bit worried.

His mother turned to him,

"Well Niran, you know he's been very busy lately. Latest shipments are to Summerset Isle, far off place that is." She said knowingly, while signing some piece of paper hecouldn't manage to read.

Niran's mother spent most of her time studying and trying to learn enough to keep up with him, though it wasn't an easy task. She often spent nearly a whole week in her study, only coming down for meals, and the occasional walk.

"No school today, I suppose." She said, sipping a strong smelling drink. She put the cup down on the table and looked at him.

"No mother, today we have off." He said, his voice sounding a bit disapointed, though he did have much to do still. He shifted in his seat, and begin to eat.

After the meal had ended he excused himself from the table and told his mother that he'd be leaving later today, because staying in the house was much too boring.

"I suppose so," she said, warily granting him permission, "Be sure to stay in town, no wandering off." She knew that telling him would do no good, he was bound to run off somewhere.

His younger sister, Sidria, who had been silent all this time spoke up, giving her own theory as to where Niran was running off to.

"Going and seeing girls are we?" she said smirking, brushing her beautiful and lengthy hair back.

Niran blushed looking down before looking to his mother for help.

"Of course not, don't be silly." Was the only thing he said in response, it's what he normally said when she started picking on him.

"It's none of your business if he is," his mother added, though she couldn't supress a little smile as she headed up the stairs to the top floor. She really did wonder about that boy sometimes.

Niran rolled his eyes and headed outside, not watching what his sister chose to do next. What did this new day have in store for him . . .

This post has been edited by gamer10: Jul 22 2005, 07:02 PM

[Kiln]

Neat...so this is to be the story of your RP guy then? This should be interesting...first chapter and prologue look good, can't wait until I read the next chapter.

This post has been edited by Kiln: Jul 20 2005, 02:29 AM

[MerGirl]

Well, it's a good start.

The only thing is, I think you need to add in way more details. It's mostly talky-talky. The prologue thing was good, though a bit vague. But the Chp. 1 needs much more details.

Just my two cents. Continue writing and/or updating other story when you can! :thumbsup:

[Konji]

It is very good, but it is lacking in detail. Maybe don't go as over the top as me though.

[Fuzzy Knight]

Well, it's a good start. 

The only thing is, I think you need to add in way more details. It's mostly talky-talky. The prologue thing was good, though a bit vague. But the Chp. 1 needs much more details.

Just my two cents.    Continue writing and/or updating other story when you can! :thumbsup:

Agree with MerGirl, its not to much talking... because thats good, but it lacks a little bit of details and all the other stuff. If u could fill that in the story would become even better than it is now..

But your writing anyway is very good..

[gamer10]

That prologue was written yesterday, I guess the quality of my writing changes from day to day.

Thanks for the good advice, added some details to Chapter 1.

[minque]

Ahh nice to hear more about Niran....he seems very much more sympathetic than in the rp......

keep it up I like it...

[Kell-Reevor]

Good story. I'm not too concerned with the lack of detail as I'm sure we will come to know the characters as the story progresses.

[gamer10]

The man stood on the side of the road, that turned into a dark and foul smelling alleyway, walking forward at a stride, he placed the toddler down on the cold brick pavement. It laughed as he placed it there, and he almost hesitated, how innocent it looked.

Stop it, you old fool. the last one was like this too.

Turning around he walked out, seeing the moon shining in front of him, very beautiful it looked as he gazed up at it.

He began to walk even farther, when he heard the toddler cry. Turning around he stared at it, "Quiet, don't wake everyone," he told it sternly, shaking his head at it.

It went silent, and he turned around once more, only to turn back again, sighing.

"Ah, I almost forgot this," and he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket. He then proceeded to place it onto the ground near the toddler, and it just stared up at him with those wide defenseless eyes.

Curious himself as to what the paper read, he picked it up and looked at it, having not written it himself.

It read:

Niran

15 Years - Chapter 2

Niran stood, gazing in awe at the brand new ebony longsword, it was reflecting the sun beautifully, having been placed by the window.

The owner of the armory turned staring greedily at Niran, he knew that the boys family was the wealthiest in town.

"So you like it, eh boy?" he asked, trying to hide the sound of greed that would normally have been very easy to pick up. The armorer was wiping down a shield with what looked like a small rag.

"Yes sir, and the name is Niran." Niran turned and held out his hand to shake the armorers.

"Teach you manners, they have haven't they. Very well too." The man however did not shake Niran's hand and went on busily polishing the shield "Can I get you anything, a new sword perhaps?" He said putting down the shield and turning his own gaze towards several on the wall, "We have some brand new ones made of silver, hanging on the wall too your left. You always liked silver, however you seemed rather interested today-" The armorer stopped, noticing Niran wasn't paying him much attention, he frowned.

Niran pulled his own silver longsword half way out of it's sheath and stared at it, inspecting it as carefully as he could.

"No sir, my own sword is fine for the time being." Niran said sighing inwardly, he fully sheathed it and said "Now if you'll excuse me, I must be going." With that, he turned around and headed out the door rather hastily.

It was raining, having just started the streets were only lightly muddy.

When outside, Niran looked both ways to see what might interest him. He spotted it, well her that is.

Actually, it was more like a coincidence, they happened to be leaving different buildings at the same time, they happened to turn and face eachother at the same time, and they happened to walk in eachothers direction.

Niran looked straight forwards as she passed, having to restrain himself from staring at her again. He was nearly four feet away when she turned and asked

"You're Niran aren't you?"

Shocked, Niran turned around, only to be shocked again by the beauty of this girl, she definitely wasn't from around these parts. She looked like a dunmer.

This post has been edited by gamer10: Jul 24 2005, 08:27 PM

[Kiln]

Nice picture on the first post, it looks so peaceful and calm. Nice update as well but I'm not sure of something, does the story go from explaining what happened when he was a child and then go to present time? It is very interesting though, I want to know who the girl is...

This post has been edited by Kiln: Jul 22 2005, 09:17 AM

[gamer10]

"He had been spotted by an Imperial Legion Officer on duty at night."

"Oh, so is that how you found him, how did you go about taking him home."

The lady smiled, running her hand through the small amount of hair on the toddler's head. She responded to her husband:

"Why, his parents were nowhere to be seen, so they let me raise him for the time being, however if his parents should come along, they will get a good beating from me before I hand this child back over to them."

15 Years - Chapter 3

Niran stared into the eyes of the dunmer girl, frozen to the spot by her stunning beauty.

"Uh - yeah - yes - I'm Niran." His gaze broke, and he blushed.

"Well then, Mr.Niran, I'm Faili." She curtseyed, and stared at him, shuffling her feet.

Niran dared a glance at her again, and said:
"Well - uh, Miss Faili, what can I do for you?" he didn't like just standing there so he put the hand on the hilt of his sword, attempting to look of more importance then he was.

Faili grinned, and noticed Niran blush, holding her hands together behind her back she asked: "If you would follow me, please?" she then turned and walked down the main part of the wide, fairly quiet road.

Niran followed behind at a slow pace, keeping a small distance from her, where were they going, this was very strange. How would she recognize him in the first place, he had never even seen her before.

His thoughts were interrupted as he stumbled over a small crack in the brick road, falling flat on his face. He started to push himself up when two hands placed themselves around his arm and helped him stand on his feet.

"Careful now, Mr. Niran," Faili said "I have to bring you to the tradehouse alive." she smiled, and continued on her way, with Niran hurrying after her.

He walked beside her staying silent for several minutes as they continued. Then:

"Thanks," Niran said still looking forward, he wiped the last of the dirt off his cheek, and spotted the tradehouse up ahead. It was a building slightly smaller than his home, and it wasn't easily distinguished from the buildings around it.

They reached the door of the building and Niran stepped forward, opening it. Faili entered and Niran followed after, wondering what might be waiting for him inside. He quickly realized who it was.

"Greetings Niran," the tall dunmer said with a slight smile, however his voice sounded tired.

Niran took a look around at everyone, there were several Imperial guards standing around the dunmer man, this man happened to know his father.

"May I inquire as to why I was called here?" Niran asked, his voice changing to one of a more serious tone. His eyes never wandering from this man's.

"Oh no need to rush, first I must introduce you to my daughter, who you've already met. Though I'm not sure that you realized she was my daughter." the man said, not pointing out the reason he had sent for Niran in the first place. He seemed rather blasé, obviously not having any reason to rush.

Niran tapped his foot a little, getting impatient. He didn't have the need to really do anything else, but having a whole day free like this was an extremely rare occurence. He hoped that this man, whose name he did not know, would hurry up and address the matter.

To his surprise, the man did.

"Well, I brought her here for only a few days, her first time out of Balmora. I was wondering," he said finally getting to the point "if you two could stick together for the short time she is staying here. I don't know, show her around somewhere. I'm sure you must have some reasonably interesting monuments, or something of the sort." He spoke as if it was nothing, however Niran did not think of it this way.

Oh I'm sure she'll enjoy going around through the forest, killing anything that seems the least bit threatening.

Niran was tempted to refuse, however the fact that this man was a friend of his father's changed that.

"Of course, sir." Niran said, leaning against the wall "If that is all then I will be on my way."

The man nodded, "Yes that is all." Then he turned away suddenly and started a conversation with the Imperial guards, speaking of some strange sights he had seen on his days of traveling.

Niran turned to Faili, forcing a small smile.

"Well then Miss Faili, if you don't mind, I would really like to move on."

This post has been edited by gamer10: Jul 24 2005, 08:26 PM

[gamer10]

15 Years - Chapter 4

Niran kneeled down and took a look at the animal print, "Damn, still nothing interesting."

Faili, who was standing behind him, had a puzzled look on her face.

"What are you looking for, how in the world would you find something in a forest this big?"

Niran, who was getting tired of all the questions she asked, didn't answer. Instead he stood up and walked farther down into the forest, having strayed from the path a long while ago.

Faili followed, pushing aside branches and bushes that got in her way, occasionally her dress would catch on one and Niran was forced to wait until she untangled it.

As they pushed their war deeper into the forest it began to grow darker, eventually coming to the point in which Faili had trouble seeing. Her leg became entangled in some shrubbery and she stumbled forward, falling into Niran.

He was flat on his back with Faili desperately trying to pick herself up from above him. Niran pushed her off, and grabbed her around the waist, helping her stand up.

When she stood up Niran let go and watched as she brushed the dirt off her dress with her right hand.

"You allright?" he asked, noticing that his hand was on the hilt of his sword.

She turned around and nodded, then she grinned.

"I'll be a little more careful, where are we headed now." She asked, thinking that Niran probably wanted to continue, having not gotten as deep into the forest as he usually did when he was alone.

Niran thought for a moment, before coming to a decision, "Out of this forest, that's for sure. It's much to dark to continue deeper. Now which way did we come from?"

Faili's eyes widened, she looked absolutely terrified, "You mean you don't know where we are . . . .neither do I."

Niran had feared this, it would be easy to return home in the morning, but at night it was best to stay in one place. Just to avoid getting lost any further. However, had he been on his own he would have continued on home, not wanting his mother to worry.

"We shouldn't move from this spot, I think we'll have to sleep right here tonight." Niran was very annoyed with himself for not turning around earlier, "Had I known we were going to stay the night in a forest such as this, I would have brought a tent and other necessary supplies."

Suddenly Faili stood still, as did Niran, but not for any reason in particular. Niran started to notice how close together they were standing, when Faili started to whisper.

"Look at that moon, it's absolutely beautiful." She said pointing behind him, her eyes gazing up at the sky.

Niran nodded, "Sure is, just like you." He froze, the words had just come out.

Faili seemed to have frozen as well, and Niran could even feel her blushing, however she turned her head slowly to face him, "You mean it?"

Niran blushed as well, but it wasn't visible in the darkness. The moonlight didn't light up the place they were standing very well.

"I-I-well I was-" Niran couldn't answer, he was embarrased with himself. Now wasn't the time for situations like this. He immediately started brushing fallen branches away from the spot where they were standing, trying to clear an area big enough for them to sleep in.

Faili looked down, putting her hands together and standing there, now silent.

Niran was uncomfortable with Faili's quietness, he was used to her always chatting away. That's basically all she had done today.

"What's the matter, I thought you would never run out of things to say." He looked up at her smiling, when he noticed she was crying.

He stood up, his smile quickly dissapearing. Stepping up to her, he used his hand to gently push some of her hair back, "What's the matter?" he asked softly.

Faili didn't answer, but she did push herself up against him, crying even harder.

What in the name of Oblivion happened while I was on the ground for ten seconds?

Faili stepped back and wiped a tear from her face, sniffling.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't think so hard this late at night." She sat down and leaned against a nearby tree looking upwards at the moon.

Niran sat down as well, leaning on the other side of the tree, he found himself unable to sleep. Wondering what had bothered her. . .

This post has been edited by gamer10: Jul 25 2005, 09:52 PM

[minque]

Very nice Gamer!!! and a great picture as well, well done and I´ll expect more when i return from my vacation

[gamer10]

Thanks, I was nearly half way through chapter 5, to be posted tomorrow, when my stupid browser closed. Damn you Firefox!

Perhaps I shouldn't write my stories in the Post Box.


This post has been edited by gamer10: Jul 24 2005, 10:31 PM

[MerGirl]

Very good! Hope to see more of this! Your writing is easy and quick-to-the point, which I like very much. Anyway, please continue the good work.

[Kiln]

Very good...I gotta read the next part, I'm drawn into this story. Well written and I like the flashbacks too. Its so easy to picture, this story is so interesting and I love mystery elements in stories as well...Love it so far, update soon.

[gamer10]

15 Years - Chapter 5

Niran opened his eyes, and stretched his arms, removing them from around Faili.

WHAT?!

Niran scrambled to his feet, staring down in surprise at the peacefully sleeping form of the dunmer girl, he shook his head.

How did she get over there, she must've moved when I was sleeping?

Niran sat back down beside her, and watched her face out of the corner of his eye, not wanting to be caught staring at her when she wakes up. He reached out a hand and touched her cheek, before quicklly withdrawing, lest she wake up.

It was nearly an hour later when she awoke, day had long come, and it was sunny and warm, unlike yesterday.

"Ah, I see your finally awake. How was your nap, eh?" Niran grinned, "I think we had better get a move on now."

Faili rubbed her eyes and blinked several times before looking at him, squinting in the sunlight.

"Oh allright." She said tiredly, standing up and following after him as he went.

Niran walked at a brisk pace, hoping to return home soon, his mother would nearly be dead with worry.

Faili, who wasn't able to move that fast having just woken up, struggled to keep up with him, eventually grabbing hold of his shirt and tugging it.

"Why are you in such a hurry," she asked quizzically, obviously her parents didn't much worry about where she went or what she did.

"This isn't a hurry, you're just slow like your father." Niran snapped, he was angry enough with himself, now she was just being annoying. He couldn't put up with her chit-chat if she was going to ask so many questions Niran didn't want to answer.

Suddenly he was jerked backwards, and Faili stepped around, coming directly in front of him.

She brought her hand up to his cheek and slapped him with great fury, "Don't you ever, EVER, talk about my father or any of my family that way, you-you" She couldn't think of an insult for him, so she just stormed off, heading in a randomly chosen direction. One that would lead her deeper into the forest.

Niran stood, stunned by her slap for a few seconds, before calling after her, "Faili, wait!"

Damnit Faili, if you get hurt I'll be the one to blame.

He followed after her, his anger melting away and being replaced by worry.

The forest was much too thick to see more than a few feet ahead of you, and Niran was forced to constantly call out her name, for his eyes would be of no help to him here.

As the seconds dragged by, they eventually turned into minutes. Nearly a half hour had passed before Niran stopped,

"Faili," he called out desperately, but he got no answer.

Until she screamed.

This post has been edited by gamer10: Jul 25 2005, 09:45 PM

[Kiln]

Haha! Man, Niran is no good with women in the story or the RP.
I find it humorous how drastically situations change for Niran. First he is happy and then he is annoyed and his emotions change realistically. You give a very human feel to your characters.

[gamer10]

You give a very human feel to your characters. 

Really, damn they're supposed to be martians.

Anyway, yeah Niran isn't very good with women, but at least it's not as bad as it is in the RP.

This post has been edited by gamer10: Jul 25 2005, 12:45 AM

[Kiln]

Really, damn they're supposed to be martians. 

I'm sure you got what I meant...well maybe not.
He seems more mature in the story than the RP...maybe his maturity decreases with age.


This post has been edited by Kiln: Jul 25 2005, 12:52 AM