Edin the Stupid, Herbalism. Nice. Options

[Foster]

Edin the Fat was once my name. I don't know why people started calling me that, they just did. Maybe it was because I had one too many ales at the tavern and picked up a slight belly; maybe it was because I'm naturally big-boned. Usually it was one of the Argonians, looking at me with their expressionless and rather colourful faces, slipping out a perfectly pronounced insult as I sat there, but then again, maybe I'm just a racist Breton that dislikes anything spawned in a fetid and cold, murky and misty sump like Black Marsh.

So, what did Edin the Fat do to lose the moniker? Why am I know Edin the Stupid, and do I like it any better? I certainly do not! I blame those Argon... wait, I've said that, havn't I? Take a seat and I'll get on with my tale.

Now, the Mages Guild likes their wierd and their hoodoo, don't they? Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against mages, they make a very good living out of posing about and whipping up fireballs or breathing underwater, and that makes me give them more respect. Really they've mastered the secret to life. They say they are intelligent and they're right - because unlike the fighters guild, they're a bunch of moochers that spend more time in bed or reading than doing physical exercise... and yes, I know I'm hardly one to question *anybody* about physical exercise, but they're lazier than I am!

Where was I? Mages Guild, right? Big building, bluish hue, sign for those that really are stupid to make it easy to find? Yes. Now, there happened to be a mage there by the name of Arush Sharr. Strange fellow, quiet and nervous, liked to wear black and talk to skulls. Left when the new mage...whathisface... took over the guild in the Imperial City. Something about the provinces being more accepting of 'the arts he practiced'. Personally I thought he was just trying to start a fashion trend, but others commented on his pale complection and fascination with the macabre. I can't remember his speciality...I think it was Alchemy.

That would make most sense, because he was the one that sent me off on the damn errand. You see, Arush, having decided to pack off to the provinces, asked me to do one last thing for him: collect a few ingredients for some potions he was making. It was basically running around the forest - well, not running, more walking, strolling, skipping and occasionally staggering - picking mushrooms and bushes. He'd even given me some pictures of the particular roots and pulps he wanted. So off I went into the wood, with the promise of twenty gold on my return.

And return I did. After five days! What should have taken me a mear seven, maybe eight hours of picking dragged across four moons! And do you know why? An adventurer! I mean, who do they think they are? They clear out goblin nests and everyone likes that, but they also rob humble men of their livelyhoods! Some poncy, flower-power adventurer, obviously with some kind of romantic inclination or pollen fetish, had gone around the nearby forest, picking every damn plant they could! Every time I found one of the herbs that Arush wanted, the vital part was either missing or mashed beyond use! And I ask you, why? Most of these adventurers don't make their own stuff anyway, do they? And do they need that much of it?

So, after five days, drawn out, Arush isn't too happy, but he looks at the herbs and is clearly pleased that I've got the right ones for him. Then, suddenly, another one of the mages comes up behind him. 'Hey Arush' he says, and Arush, as usual, looks and cackles nervously. The mage pauses, and looks at the bag. 'My... Arush, why are you holding a bag full of poisons! That could kill someone! They could be used in necromacy!' he says.

Now, suddenly Arush looks nervous, then looks in the bag, and starts hitting me. 'Idiot!' he starts. 'Fool! Imbecile! You've picked the wrong herbs! Five days and all you've got are poisons!'

Now I know they're the right herbs, but Arush is having none of it. Everyone comes out and points and laughs at me, saying I'm stupid. So no more Edin the fat. Now I'm only Edin the Stupid.

Arush left town that night, I think for Morrowind. I'm glad. If he'd stayed, I don't know if the guards could restrain me...

[jack cloudy]

It was a good story. Yeah, some adventurers can be very annoying with their collecting. Don't worry, I only collect weapons and armour, so there are plenty of plants in my backyard if you need any.

[minque]

Good work! Promising I´d say so continue please!

[Magefire]

Is this another taster for a character in the main story? I would like to read more of it however. Please..... !!!!

[milanius]

Where was I? Mages Guild, right? Big building, bluish hue, sign for those that really are stupid to make it easy to find? Yes. Now, there happened to be a mage there by the name of Arush Sharr. Strange fellow, quiet and nervous, liked to wear black and talk to skulls. Left when the new mage...whathisface... took over the guild in the Imperial City. Something about the provinces being more accepting of 'the arts he practiced'. Personally I thought he was just trying to start a fashion trend, but others commented on his pale complection and fascination with the macabre. I can't remember his speciality...I think it was Alchemy.

Awesome. Just awesome. With every new short cut from the TES universe you're gaining more and more skill, thus becoming a master of short story One can only adore these colorful, realistic and above all humorous individuals, each one with his or hers lamentation, just trying to live their lives in that wacky world that we call Tamriel...