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> Shiver, I know... I know...
Zelda_Zealot
post Mar 22 2007, 05:49 PM
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Before I start, try to figure out who this is about, and where I will be going with this before the end. The name of my character would be at the end but I edited it out, don't worry, I will put it in if someone gets it, and where it is going it hinted at in the title.





=================



I arrived in Cyrodiil late into the evening, and had to hike even longer to reach the first settlement I could find, The Imperial Bridge Inn, with little more then the shirt on my back, and the sword in my hand. Here in Cyrodiil I was nameless, in Vvardenfell however, I they called me the Nerevarine.

I have left Morrowind in an attempt to start a new, humble life, away from the worship, away from the awe, shock, and, in some cases, hatred. I could not even walk down to the local general goods store to buy breakfast without several people dropping to their knees in reverence. Therefore, I decided to leave. I would lock-up my house, say good-bye to my friends, and leave Morrowind for the first and last time.

As I said previously, it was late when I finally arrived in Cyrodiil, and even later when I collapsed onto one of the benches in front of the nearest inn. The moons were high in the sky, and even the birds had stopped chirping for the night. Doubtless, the proprietor of the establishment had already settled down for the evening, and was off exploring new lands in their dreams. Therefore, I opted to just lie down on the bench for the night, and rent a room in the morning. Besides, I doubt I had the energy to tear myself off this bench.

"Who is he?"

Why do they not know who I am?

"I do not know; he looks vaguely familiar though…"

Everyone knows me; they worship me…

"Awful nice of him to sleep out here instead of waking me to rent a room."

I know I am awful, please do not remind me.

"Maybe he was delirious and did not know this was an inn."

In where? In here?

"Oh, don't be so mean Lithy!"

No! Don't send the Liches after me! Please!

"Do you think we should wake him Lith?"

Please don't wake the Liches; they look so peaceful.

"I think we should get the guard out here first, just in case."

Where is this case? Where did you put it?

"Oh you think everyone is either insane or heartless! What about me? Have I not taken you in here when creatures attacked your cave?

How do they know about my past?

"That was different…"

Yes, let's put our differences aside.

"And how is that?"

Well we just have to ignore our differences, and talk this out.

"…I have my reason to trust you, and I prefer to keep them to myself."

I am so glad you Liches trust me; I don't know what I would do without you all.

"Well you keep them to yourself, I, however, am going to wake him."

Whom will you wake? No one is sleeping.

"No Davela! Don't!"

My eyes bolted open, and the first thing I saw was a beautiful Dunmer woman, smiling at me. Just behind her was an Altmer in a worn tan robe, standing with his arms crossed and a light glare on his face.

"Well good morning!" the Dunmer told me cheerfully.

"Is it morning already? It feels like I just lied down," I replied glumly as I sat up.

"I am afraid it is. If you would like, I could rent you a room, I just need a name and a few gold," she said, cheerful as ever.

"That's fine, I could just use some breakfast. I will get a room tonight."

"Well if you are sure. Why don't you get up and come inside, and I will get you something to eat."

Slowly I pulled my aching body off the bench, "Who is your friend?" I asked her on the way up.

"His name is Lithnilian, but we call him Lithy, less of a mouthful."

I looked at him for a moment, trying to understand why he looked to upset. Perhaps he was a distrusting fellow; maybe he did not like strangers. Nevertheless, I gave him a cheerful smile and a nod, which he did not return, and made my way over to the door following the Dunmer.

The inside of the inn was a little small, but cozy, and looked like the place you would want to snuggle up next to a roaring fire with a good book, and read away a rainy afternoon. There was bar opposite the fireplace that the Dunmer motioned me to, it was a wooden bar, but well made, and I doubt it would be falling apart anytime soon.

"So what can I get you? We have bread, soup, cheese, ham, fruit, and some rotting venison in the back, but I doubt you want that," she said without prompt.

"Just some bread and cheese thank you. What is your name? I know your friends, but yours is still a mystery," I asked her as she grabbed my food.

"Davela Hlaren, how about yours?"

I stood off my stool, gave her a short, mock bow, and told her, "Larrius Varro. At your service."


===================

So did anyone figure it out? You get a cake.gif if you did.
I had some problems trying to create a good twist for my new chapter in Sanity (Which I went through, but want to add something new to it, like I did last time), so I decided to start on something I have been meaning to do for awhile, and was only possable with my "new" laptop.

Please let me know what you think.



This post has been edited by Zelda_Zealot: Mar 26 2007, 06:22 PM


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jack cloudy
post Mar 22 2007, 06:48 PM
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Hmm, a bit crazy. It could be your character from Insanity, whose name I don't know.

Likewise, it could be one of the more crazy Morrowind characters. M'Aiq (personal favourite and first choice, due to the liches.)
Therana (No mention of spiders though, and the fact that she's been on Vvardenfell a few centuries before Caius kind of messes up the timeline.)

And of course, Sheogorath. (Very unlikely, no matter how mad the damn Prince of Madness might be.)


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The Metal Mallet
post Mar 22 2007, 09:45 PM
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Yea, I'm not all that familiar with your previous work so I can't really make a guess. Despite that, I found your starting to be enjoyable. I particularly liked the dialogue while our mystery person was "asleep".


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Zelda_Zealot
post Mar 23 2007, 01:41 AM
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I had hoped it would not be that hard to figure out kvleft.gif , I left quite a few clues as to his identity, even in the sequence when he is asleep. Maybe it was not easy enough... If one more person can't get it I will give you his name. (Though it might not mean much)


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Lord Revan
post Mar 23 2007, 02:08 AM
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I seriously doubt I'm even close, but I'll just shoot. Is it Vivec? blink.gif
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jack cloudy
post Mar 23 2007, 04:01 PM
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Wait a minute. I think you're on to something, Revan. Only instead of Vivec, I'll shoot for......Almalexia the mad Tribunal Goddess.


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Zelda_Zealot
post Mar 23 2007, 04:28 PM
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It is a character I made, so Vivec and Almalexia are incorrect. FYI: Seeing as it takes place in Cyrodiil, it is safe to say it takes place around the same time as Oblivion.

EDIT: Alright, a few more hints.
1: I always base my Fictions around the time of the game they are based on (If they are not the story of the game told my way).
2: I always give my Fictions a name based on the game or expansion they are based on.
3: To date, I have created very few characters to base a story off of.
4: All of my Fictions feature a character I created.

If no one can figure this out by the next post I will tell you all who it is. Just think, I have given you all the infomation you need. If it is not in this thread then it is in another story of mine. Good luck.


This post has been edited by Zelda_Zealot: Mar 24 2007, 02:47 AM


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Zelda_Zealot
post Mar 26 2007, 06:27 PM
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I hate to double post, but I guess no one could figure out who my character is, so I edited his name in there. For those of you who do not recognise his name I will tell you whom he is at the end of my post (Jack Cloudy, you might not want to read it).

In just a bit here I am going to go and try to work some more on this, and hopefully it will be up here today. Wish me luck!

EDIT: I put my latest bit down at the bottom of my post, let me know what you think.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::












If you have read the first version of my first Fiction "Sanity" you should recognise the name of my character, if not...

He is the very person from said Fiction, just a few years later. If you want to know more about him check out my topics created to find the first version of the story, or you can just wait awhile for me to update the newer version.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
"It's nice to meet you Larrius," Davela told me. The plate clunked down on the wooden bar, loaded with my breakfast. Flashing a smile, I asked her how much I owed her.

"Oh nothing for now, you can pay me when you leave," she said. With a grin on my face, I ripped a chunk of bread in half.

"So why do you have an Inn all the way out here? It is a bit far from the road don't you think?"

"According to the Office of Imperial Commerce in the Imperial City, citizens cannot buy the land next to the road. Some kind of precaution against highwaymen; sounds like a load of Alit dung to me though," she replied followed up by a huff. Judging by the angry look on her face, she felt incredibly cheated by this "law" and I decided to discontinue the conversation.

"Well it looks as though you are doing well for yourself regardless," I told her cautiously, hoping to calm her down at least slightly.

"Why thank you Larrius, business is doing pretty good I suppose, but it would be booming if I could have just built the damn thing by the road." Lithnilian announced his presence in the room by slamming the door to the Inn, thus saving me from another attempt to cool down Davelas temper.

"Ah, there you are Lithy! I was beginning to wonder if you decided to move to another Inn; won't you have some food? You have yet to eat today," she asked Lithnilian with a mildly calm voice. Lithnilian looked at her for a moment, then at me, then right back to her. A grunt and a nod was all she got out of him, as he walked over to a table in the corner and sat down.

"Someone is really cheerful this morning," I said with a smirk.

"Oh ignore him, he is really distrusting of strangers. Doesn't like you being here," she said under her breath.

"You would think he would not be so distrusting of people, living in an Inn like he does."

"Well, he doesn't really live here all the time. He used to live in a cave while he did some research, but some monsters attacked, and forced him to come here."

"Ah, hey could I get another bit of cheese?"

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

It was close to noon. The sun was high in the sky, and the leaves whistling between the breeze. I was a little ways east of the Inn, floating in the river. After walking many days, and hiking over quite a few mountains, I had started to smell. Thus, I was in the river, floating near the shore, and staring at the many trees of Cyrodiil.

It had been many years since I have been in Cyrodiil, I had been caught stealing a loaf of bread as a young man, and was shipped off to the prisons of Morrowind. The official version of why I sent to the mines of Morrowind was because the prisons in Cyrodiil were full. Now, I had been in and out of prisons all across Cyrodiil in my youth, and there had always been plenty of room. I know now, why I was destined to become a miner, and it had nothing to do with lack of space. The Daedric Prince Azura had manipulated the system to get me to Morrowind, and there I had defeated Dagoth Ur. That is old news though, and an old life.

After I was satisfied with my personal cleanliness, I swam to shore. Upon gathering my clothes, I dressed myself, no sense in poking around the woods in only my skivvies after all.

I was walking up the small beach when I caught something out of the corner of my eye. Turning swiftly I saw nothing, intrigued I walked up a slope to find something I had never seen before. It was at least eight feet tall, and appeared to be solid rock. It had a red glow to it, coming out of what looked to be runes on the surface of the stone. In a circle around the rock were many smaller stones, set into the ground, and completing the majesty of the view.

Cautiously I reached out and placed my hand upon the stone…

No stars shine upon the Doomstone.

Nothing happened. This peculiar stone simply stood there, unaware of my presence, if stones are even aware of anything that is. Strange, I thought to myself, I will have to look into this another time.

The stone stayed in my thoughts all the way back to the inn.

:::::::::::::::::::::

I was stepping off the bridge across the river when I spotted him. Sitting on a second bench in front of the inn, reading. Slowly I walked up to him, when I was mere feet away from him he finally noticed me.

"Hey there Lithnilian," I said to him cheerfully. All I got in return was a glare. "Nice day huh?" Glare. "I wish I had a book to read as well, it would be so nice to just lay around all day reading, especially in this weather." Glare. If I ever get him to talk to me I need to find out who gave him glaring lessons, they must be a real pro. "Well I might as well head inside, get some lunch, maybe Davela has a book I can borrow." Slightly elated glare. Uneasily I walked to the door to the inn, feeling like Lithnilian was watching me all the way.

Reaching out I grabbed the handle and pulled. Nothing, the door was locked.

"Davela went to Leyawiin for supplies; she won't be back until nightfall." Turning around I found Lithnilian looking at me with an evil smirk on his face.

"Urg, so we are stuck out here?"

"Ummm humm," he responded turning back to his book.

"Well this is just great," I said to no one in particular, and sat down on the bench I had spent the previous night on.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Well I am going to go find something to eat before I die of hunger. I might have some more up later, but only if someone responds, I think a double post is too much, a triple might be pushing it and I don't want to put more in this post.


This post has been edited by Zelda_Zealot: Mar 26 2007, 08:36 PM


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The Metal Mallet
post Mar 26 2007, 10:38 PM
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Well don't worry, I shall break that streak for you!

I really enjoy reading your dialogue. It has a nice, realistic, and casual feel to it that I find admirable. You definitely know how to create a character too, as I find Lithy to be quite an amusing fellow.

Keep it up!


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"This body, holding me makes me feel eternal. All this pain is an illusion" - Parabola (Tool)
"This here ain't called boasting, it's called truthin' " - Mango Kid (Danko Jones)
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Zelda_Zealot
post Mar 27 2007, 02:20 AM
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Thanks, Oblivion has some good characters, but they are few and far between. So I try to add some spice to the existing characters, just to make it seem more realistic.

For the dialog, I try to use common words and compounds to make it seem more like the common folk are speaking. But for intelligent or learned people, I try to stray away from them, and make it seem more intelligent and meaningful.

I will be working on it some more tonight, and might have it posted before I go to bed. In the meantime, hopefully, more people will read this and tell me what they think *hint*.


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jack cloudy
post Mar 27 2007, 09:57 PM
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Larrius? Hmm, I've heard that name somewhere............wait, isn't that the guy who wanted me to give up Chrysamere and the Lord's mail, the highranking knight of the Imperial Dragon? As if I'd ever give up my precious!

Anyway, I like the flow in your conversations. And Lithy (full name is too damn hard to spell.) is one funny guy, even though he tries hard not to be funny.


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minque
post Mar 27 2007, 10:11 PM
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QUOTE(jack cloudy @ Mar 27 2007, 10:57 PM) *

Larrius? Hmm, I've heard that name somewhere............wait, isn't that the guy who wanted me to give up Chrysamere and the Lord's mail, the highranking knight of the Imperial Dragon? As if I'd ever give up my precious!

Anyway, I like the flow in your conversations. And Lithy (full name is too damn hard to spell.) is one funny guy, even though he tries hard not to be funny.

Nope that is Varus Vantinius! Larrius Varro is in Fort Moonmoth! Telling stories that leads to the execution of those Camonna tong....I think


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jack cloudy
post Mar 27 2007, 10:21 PM
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Oh, that could be the one. Meh, Imperials all sound alike. I don't like the 'let's have a nice little bloodbath' dude either. Sure, the Camonna are bad, but some of them were actually polite to me. No need to go kill them because of some freak in shining armour.


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Zelda_Zealot
post Mar 29 2007, 06:37 AM
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Let me come clean.

I originally planned on having this follow Shivering Isles plot wise. But after playing the game I decided that it would be a lot harder to write then I expected. Fret not though (I always wanted to say that...), I do plan on continuing this story, but first I need to come up with a new plot.

If anyone has any suggestions please let me know, I promise to listen. Just a few things, I would prefer to make a plot, then use the guilds (KotK included) or main quest, so please suggest something else.

Also, does anyone know if Mods or Admins can change a topic title?

P.S. I had forgetten about the guy in the Balmora fort when I named him that, I remembered the name, just not that it was already used.


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jack cloudy
post Mar 29 2007, 10:00 AM
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Meh, don't worry about it. In real life there are also people with the exact same name. It would have been worse if you called your character Vivec Indoril or something. (For the same reason why there are no people called Jezus nowadays. The name is sacred.)

As for plots, there are lots of things.

1: You could have Larrius' past catching up with him. He'll then go out of his way to try and break free from his old life.
2: He might help out in the inn, possibly getting involved in the whole 'no inns by the road' thing.
3: Something related to Lithy might turn up and Larrius tries to deal with it. Something like his research perhaps?
4: Rude customers, time for the bouncer act.

There are plenty of other things you can try. Just use your imagination. And, 4 is more like a separate scene thing than a whole plot.


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Lord Revan
post Mar 29 2007, 12:46 PM
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wel, I know a Mexican boy from school named Jesus, but it's pronounced with "h" instead of "j".
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Zelda_Zealot
post Mar 29 2007, 03:39 PM
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Isn't that how the spanish language works? "H" is pronounced "J" and vice versa?

Anyway, I think I know what I want to do for a plot, and I might not have to change the name either.
But I might use one and two on your list Jack, not as the plot its self, but to get it moving and to add back story.

One last thing, I was thinking of making a topic here in the Fan Fiction section, where people write short stories based in the TES realm. Making it limited to one or two posts (Only if they are one after another), and letting anyone post theirs. What do you think?


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Lord Revan
post Mar 29 2007, 10:06 PM
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All that is correct except "h" is never pronounced for instance "hola" is pronounced "ola"
anyway, I'm learning Spanish right now, so I'm no expert, btu I really can't afford get rusty either. wink.gif
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The Metal Mallet
post Mar 30 2007, 12:27 AM
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QUOTE(Zelda_Zealot @ Mar 29 2007, 10:39 AM) *

Isn't that how the spanish language works? "H" is pronounced "J" and vice versa?

Anyway, I think I know what I want to do for a plot, and I might not have to change the name either.
But I might use one and two on your list Jack, not as the plot its self, but to get it moving and to add back story.

One last thing, I was thinking of making a topic here in the Fan Fiction section, where people write short stories based in the TES realm. Making it limited to one or two posts (Only if they are one after another), and letting anyone post theirs. What do you think?



We actually all ready have that Zelda. We made a little "guild" called the Order of Schola. Anyone can join and we post our little short stories in the thread entitled "The Temple of Lore", which Jack has just recently bumped up again with a short story.

Awww.... now I wanna make a contribution, but I have NO time on my hands!


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Zelda_Zealot
post Mar 30 2007, 03:45 PM
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Well that saves me the time of making one. I will post my short story as soon as my laptop decides it feels like connecting to the internet again. kvleft.gif


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