Serene of Cyrodiil, Chapter 8, Love and Death Options

[minque]

So at last chapter 8 will be revealed after a very long time. But first I will present an Interlude... Enjoy!

Ald’ruhn, Very late evening of 11th of Sun’s Dusk 3E 451

20 Years after the Events at Red Mountain and the disappearance of the Blight

I shut the door silently behind me. My heart is pounding and I am panting heavily from having run as fast as I could from the Square, I wanted to get home as quick as possible, before anyone noticed I had been out.

This is strange behavior for the Archmaster of a Great House I know, but things happened today that affect me tremendously.

It started this morning at dusk when Kausha, my maid, told me that Athynae currently is in residence at Bal Isra, with Baria and Trey! And she had been there for at least two weeks...without even tell me! Kausha said she heard it from Cai, who she had met at the Mage’s Guild last night. Naturally I was upset; my daughter, being away for quite some time on some sort of mission, then she returned and did not even bother to tell me. That was unacceptable behavior and I was determined to let her answer to me for that. Athyn had been worried all the time and he still is, I know that.

But the real shock came tonight. I went out for a walk an hour ago and reaching the Plaza I overheard a conversation between the two most important men in my life; Athyn and Sethyas.

I now wish I had stayed in tonight, because what I heard is written in fiery letters inside my head; I need to write it down in my current journal, and I will, but not just now, I can’t!

Now I need to do something I should have done years ago really, but there has never been a good time to do it. I must give Athynae my first journal, the one I wrote 15 years ago but never gave to her because…well I don’t really know why, it just never felt right to do it.

But now is the time, so I take the old worn book from the bottom of my personal chest, wrap it in a red piece of cloth and put it in my backpack.

The road to Bal Isra is dark as usual; I know it’s not safe to walk that road during the night, but there is no turning back from this; it has to be done immediately, otherwise I again will find a reason not to give it to her…

I see the flickering lights from Bal Isra as I approach; Hetman Guls is as always guarding the gates.

“Why, archmaster! What brings you here at this unsacred time?”

I put my hand over his mouth “Shhh, please, I just need to leave something here,” I say hesitantly, feeling very awkward. Well trained guard that he is, Hetman just nods at me. What he is thinking I can only guess!

I open the door very slowly; my hands are trembling as I take the book out and silently place it on the small table beside the door and then shut the door behind me.

The way back is even darker; I can barely see my feet in front of me. Of course my sight is clouded by the tears that run down my face.

I close the doors of Sarethi Manor after me for the second time this evening and head straight for my bedroom. My head is empty and numb; I am no better that a scared child, sneaking in and just leaving the journal for Athynae to find! The right thing would of course have been to read it with her and be there to answer her questions…because there will be questions!

And Athynae does not know what I just found out! When I think of it I start tremble again and I just fling myself on the bed and fall into a deep, dark sleep…

[Destri Melarg]

Man I hate being right!

Setting this interlude in the present tense was brilliant. I was riveted from the first line. What could Athyn and Sethyas have said to cause such a state in Serene? Now you've done it! You just have to post the next part so that I can find out.

[treydog]

WOOO HOOOOO! Blam! (Treydog just exploded from excitement).

There are things in this life that are worth waiting for... the first fall apples, the first snow of the year, a meal you have prepared with time and care. AND- a new post from minque!

Of course- you not only leave poor Cliff hanging, but all the rest of us as well!

This is everything I have always loved about your story- the emotional intensity, the immediacy, the depth that is so wonderfully expresed in just a few words.

And- I am with Destri- now I want to know what happens next.

Welcome back!

[SubRosa]

Serene is back!

And I see Destri beat me to all my comments! Indeed, what was that conversation between Athyn and Sethyas about? It must have been something big, and ominous, for it to have prompted Serene to break her fifteen year silence and give her daughter the journal in question. Now if only the daughter will read it! But that of course, is a tale for another thread...

[haute ecole rider]

I'm sure said daughter will read that journal at the same time we read this chapter!

Like the others, I'm on tenterhooks regarding that conversation between Athyn and Sethyas! More, please!

Oh, and (trying to visualize an exploding dachshund that does not involve food) welcome back! The emotion and urgency is there as I remember it from earlier chapters. I know you won't let us down now!

[Black Hand]

Nicely done and.....finally! Sorry, sorry, just been waitin' a while here SGM and please keep it up!

[Athynae]

Mother I cannot begin to express my joy when I saw you were back!!! I will be home as soon as I can find Athlain and make sure he is safe.

[Acadian]

Welcome back! What a sumptuous resumption of Serene's story you give us! A busy day indeed. Athynae is back - and she didn't check in with Mother! What could Serene have overheard between Athyn and Sethyas? Is that what spurred her into a dark and dangerous trip, only to leave the journal without seeking out Athynae?

I'm surely looking forward to more of this!

[Grits]

Oh my goodness, how exciting! What could they have said? I can’t wait for more.

[minque]

OMG! Thank you all for very nice and heartwarming comments on this little interlude!

As the little dog said, Cliff is hanging and I'm sorry to say that he will stay hanging for some time! But fear not, everything will be revealed in due time!

[minque]

One's first love is always perfect until one meets one's second love.
Elizabeth Aston

The dead cannot cry out for justice; it is a duty of the living to do so for them.
Lois McMaster Bujold

Chapter 8 Deepest love and terrifying death

I had to put down the quill. If only I could end my story there and then I would do it, but that was impossible. The events that were to come affected me and my family to a great extent and it would be unfair not to write about them. Nevertheless, I had to prepare mentally to do it; what I was about to describe was a very dark part of my life, a part that caused me unspeakable pain, but also true happiness. I looked at the last sentence I had written;

“There are no such things as happy endings.”

That is not completely true. Even when life really has about reached its bottom level, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel!

If only the tunnel didn’t have to be so long and dark!

***************************************************************************
As I had promised Sethyas, I started to plan his wedding with Ilmeni. Of course I did it in cooperation with the becoming bride; it would have been rude not to involve her!

Besides the wedding planning I also had a Great House to run, not on my own but all the final decisions were mine to take. Sometimes I wondered if my council, consisting of men only, really wanted my final opinion or just did it to show off. Of course I didn’t for a second suspect either Athyn or Sethyas to be like that… But still female leadership was not at all common in Vvardenfell at that time.

The EEC company in Ebonheart was prospering; naturally great House Hlaalu was a major part of the business, but thanks to my stepson Varvur’s skills, House Redoran made a fair profit from it. The Caldera Mining Company was securely in our hands and made a good contribution to the economy of the House.

Our Forts, the ones on Vvardenfell Island and on the Mainland, were doing fine; the only problem we had was Fort Frostmoth on Solstheim. I was not happy about it and surely had no wish to go to Solstheim to sort it out, so I sent Sethyas. Maybe not so nice of me, considering he was soon to be married, but he volunteered at the latest Great Meeting…

As Ilmeni and I started the real planning of the wedding we found out that some families from Houses Redoran and Hlaalu did not support their union; fortunately it was just a few deeply opposed, with a larger majority that did not care.

For Hlaalu it did not seem to rub too many the wrong way, as it did not cost them money, since I had decided that the Sarethi Family would cover all the costs. That was the least we could do after all Sethyas had done for us. For Redorans in general, they were hesitant to allow a Hlaalu amongst their ranks, but Athyn and I both spoke very highly of Ilmeni, and sponsored her.

By tradition, the male's house became the House for both Husband and Wife, though Duke Dren did make a strange offer to allow Sethyas to enter Hlaalu as an Honorary member for all that he had done, possibly making him the first Houseman to join two houses. But he refused, realizing that it was too much of a conflict of interest.

The planning of the ceremony lasted for weeks; I decided to put in a huge effort in it, because I wished it to be a memorable day for Ilmeni and Seth, my dearest friends of all.

The ceremony should take place at Vivec’s Palace, with the God himself performing the actual ceremony. Somehow Sethyas had made up this setting, just so appropriate I thought.

On my part I arranged the big staircase leading to Vivec’s palace to be spotlessly clean and polished. Maybe that was not really my task, but I wanted to personally see to all arrangements.. A red carpet was put on top of it, a carpet with traditional Redoran embroideries.

I asked the Ordinators to block access to the High Fane for three days prior, so we could make the final arrangements in peace.

As ancient traditions bade, the night before the wedding day, the becoming bride should have her last night of freedom, literally speaking, so Vendrela Aravel, Nartise Arobar, Nalvyna Sarinith, and I went to St. Delyn and “kidnapped” Ilmeni. We had hired a gondola and sailed between the Cantons of Vivec til we reached the shore. It was a beautiful evening; the sky was almost clear with a few pinkish clouds, and we sat down enjoying the mass of food and drink we brought- and we talked. Women-talk of course…

“Are you happy, Ilmeni?” My question was maybe stupid; of course she should be happy, marrying one of the best men I knew of, but I felt I just had to ask her anyway. She nodded and took my hand to her cheek.

“Yes, Serene, I’m very happy. You and Athyn have been so nice to me; I have felt your support and love all the time. You accepted me at once, despite I’m Hlaalu, and I appreciate that more than you can imagine.”

I embraced her, telling her how I enjoyed her marrying Seth, that she would be like a sister to me, and that would be like fulfilling an old dream of mine.

The night was long gone before we headed back to Ilmeni’s apartment. We were supposed to stay the night at her place and then in the morning help her with her dress.

And then the big day came.

Athyn would act as Sethyas’ best man; they were both supposed to wear traditional red silk Redoran shirts. It’s always easier for men; they just put on a nice clean shirt and there they go!

For a woman it’s completely different. The wedding dress Milie Hastien had made for Ilmeni was a wonderful creation in red and golden yellow, the colors of both Houses, red for Redoran and yellow for Hlaalu. Ilmeni looked just gorgeous in it. Vendrela dressed her hair, a classic simple creation, which made her look like a queen. As a final touch we put a few Gold Kanet petals by her left ear, a golden tribute to her Hlaalu heritage.

I hesitated a second before putting my dress on; it was a beautiful creation in white silk with embroideries in pure gold, quite revealing, leaving one shoulder bare and just a strap on the other one kept it up.

The Red Star of the Redoran was hanging between my breasts, shimmering with its internal magica. I let my long brown hair flow down on one side and just put one single Stoneflower in it. It was a special Stoneflower, not light blue as they usually are; no this one was dark blue-violet, matching my eyes actually. This special species grew in Gnisis, in a pot inside Arvs Drelen, and Baladas Demnevanni had created a modification of the original. He actually called it “Serene’s Dream” out of courtesy to me!

A gondola with torches and wreaths and ropes of flowers decorating it transported us to the High Fane. Slowly gliding across the waters, we approached the gondolier port. Kneeling at the stern, in her wonderful wedding dress, Ilmeni smiled from ear to ear. I stood behind her, as her Matron of Honor, confident that this mixture of Imperial and Dunmeri traditions was fitting.

Ilmeni and I disembarked and walked slowly up the ramp, and made our way to the Palace of Vivec. Fanfare began to play in traditional Dunmeri music, and Vivec exited his palace, standing directly outside his door. He had not changed his attire, and he had the same calm and objective look he always had

Sethyas and Athyn were standing to one side of the steps with a strong contingent of Redoran Blood Guards standing at attention with ebony spears. On the bride’s side, Duke Dren, in polished ebony armor, looking at Sethyas with a measure of pride and nervousness, was realizing that he was finally marrying off his daughter. He gazed down at the small gathering of Hlaalu nobles and servants and guards on his side. Standing just below him was Rayne Alas, looking rather beautiful in her bridesmaid gown, and with Kreshweed flowers in her dark hair.

Master Aryon, and the Ashlander Ashkans Sul-Matuul and Kaushad, with his recent bride, were in the guest seating area, along with; I couldn’t believe it, Sedrane Mirpal and Shara, his Urshilaki wife!

Ilmeni reached Sethyas, and they took each other’s hands, and both looked upwards to Vivec.

"To those who seek love and the blessings of it, climb the stairs before you. Come to me if your hearts are true, and your intentions clear. Arise from the mundane, and ascend to the Sacred," he called out in a strong voice, the divinity largely faded from it.

Ilmeni and Sethyas were exactly seven steps below him, and they recited the Seven Virtues of the Temple, one with each step, Athyn and I following one step below them. Vedam Dren and Rayne Alas one step below that; Varvur Sarethi and Vendrela Aravel on the step below them. Sul-Matuul and Kaushad the step below that, and finally Salyn Sarethi and Eno Hlaalu on the last step

Vivec levitated ever so slightly above the couple, and overlooked the crowd.

"It is rare, and a joyous occasion, that two Mer may come together, and lay claim to the each other’s hearts. But this is one of those days, in the light of the Sun, no longer blocked by the Shadow of Red Mountain! Hail Savior! Hail Redoran! Hail Dunmer! The Blessings of the Tribunal I bestow upon the two before me now! May your children’s children know of this day as the greatest achievement in your lives! For you have overcome yourselves and the shadows within and without, and come to lay your claim to happiness."

His gaze fell to Sethyas.

"And now, in the presence of House, Kin, and Friend, and the Blessed Temple- do you swear your love and fealty to Ilmeni Dren, Sethyas Velas? To forswear all others, in blight and in light, in poorness and plenty, til death release you?"

"I do."

"And, do you, in the presence of House, Kin, and Friend, and the Blessed Temple. Do you swear your love and fealty to Sethyas Velas, Ilmeni Dren? To forswear all others, in blight and in light, in poorness and plenty, til death release you?"

"I do."

"Then in the Name of Almsivi, I name you, Lord Redoran Sethyas Velas, and Lady Redoran Ilmeni Velas, Husband and Wife. As one for the rest of the Tides of Eternity, let no one and nothing stand before or between you. You may kiss your Bride." Vivec’s voice lowered on the last sentence to a tone of pride.

Sethyas took Ilmeni in his arms, and kissed her deeply, as if the final moment between his past and future was sealed with their embrace. I felt tears rise in my eyes; Athyn took me in his arms, and held me close, whispering:

“ Soon it will be you and me, that is if you will have me.”

My answer was just a deep kiss…

[treydog]

From the foreshadowing at the beginning to the lush and wonderful descriptions throughout- this post shows WHY we love your writing so much. I was completely immersed in the scene you set, gliding across the waters of Vivec in that gondola, looking up the steps of the High Fane to the bride and groom, seeing the gold-and-gray countenance of the last Tribune as he officiated.

The vows were also a work of art in themselves- they could only be written by someone whose heart has known love- and loss.

A deep, contented sigh. And a slight tremor as I know more (and worse) is still to come.

[Athynae]

Writing that I am completely entranced by...wonderful descriptions, imagery that I don't even have to close my eyes to envision. Along with the incredible joy that the great and wonderful Oz, I mean Serene, has returned to tell the rest of the story.

I and Athynae are forever in your debt, I do hope that her presence is some small recompense for your return.

Love to you and yours, WELCOME HOME!!!

[Acadian]

Oh I smiled all the way through this! Just lovely! I'm so glad you're writing again - this is wonderful!

[minque]

I'm sorry but I forgot the dedication of this chapter in the first part but here it comes:

This chapter is dedicated to Black Hand for letting me use parts of his wonderful story of Sethyas Velas as background.

If you haven't read "Memoirs of a Morag Tong Assassin" yet I strongly recommend you do! You will certainly not regret it.

********************************************************************************


The festivities and rejoicing continued for hours; we, the numerous wedding guests, consumed food, wine and a huge amount of Cyrodiilic Brandy. And then the dance began. The first pair out on the floor was Ilmeni and Sethyas. She was an excellent dancer, and I must say Seth did his best trying not to step too much on her toes!

“May I have the honor of the next dance, Sera Archmaster?” Sethyas stood before me, looking sternly at me with his dark eyes.

"We stepped towards one another, hands locking, mine slightly trembling, his steady, the assassin's nerves of steel...Our eyes locked for a moment, and I think we both saw something that should not have been there. True to my word, I would stay out of his mind, and I can never really know what he was thinking in that moment, as we both looked away.

We continued dancing, going through these motions. Everything felt mechanical...closed off. The Dunmer was pushing me away, guiding me into a mental cell that would close the two of us off forever.

Beside us were Ilmeni, dancing with Varvur, and Athyn had found Rayne Alas, but they were merely talking and sort of walking around instead of dancing. I smiled; Athyn was by far the worst dancer I’d ever met, so I think what they did was for the best.

I spied Athyn's beaming face over Seth’s shoulder. The pride in his face, the face of the man who supported Trey, Seth, and Me. The man who became my beloved one after his own loss.

I am loved.

I spied Ilmeni's face over Seth's shoulder. Tears of happiness rolling down her cheeks. The face of my sister. The woman who had supported him during all of his trials.

He is loved.

The dancing continued quite long into the evening, and I tried to get a dance with Athyn. I knew he didn’t like to dance, but at last I got him up on the floor. It felt good to dance with him at this moment, it was like a foretaste of what I would experience later…at our own wedding.

At the very late hours of the evening, I enjoyed a Brandy with Athyn and the married couple at a table off in a corner.

"Haha! Now you get to experience the fullness and the joy of marriage, my boy...run while you can!" Athyn laughed.

"Don't listen to him! You two will be very happy; isn't that right, dear?" I smiled

"I am sure of it. For I have learned that Destiny is made, as well as foreseen. And I intend to make as much of my own destiny from here on out." Sethyas responded, giving Ilmeni a deep kiss.

As though fate were returning his comment, a roar grew from the bridges that were guarded by the Ordinators; someone was trying to come in that wasn't invited.

Orvas Dren was accompanied by perhaps two dozen of his Cammona Tong thugs, and with a menacing glare, he made his way straight for our table.

"Don't mind me Velas! I'm just wondering why the Uncle wasn't invited to his own niece’s wedding! Very nice stunt you pulled in the Council Club in Balmora! Do you think I respond well to threats? Did you think I was just going to let everything go, once you won? You seem to keep on defying death wherever you go; let’s see how much luck you have left!" he shouted, motioning for his men to unsheathe their weapons.

“I didn't think you were that much of a fool, Dren!” Sethyas spat. “Look around you! There are Redoran and Hlaalu Guards here, not to mention Temple Ordinators. Come; let us finish our business, here and now! You have dishonored me and my bride by showing up here, and this offence I cannot let go!"

"Sethyas, NO! Not here! Not now! This is our wedding day, do not shed blood, please, both of you! Uncle! I beg you to lay down your arms, see some reason!" Ilmeni pleaded.

Athyn, who did have a weapon- he never leaves home without one, unsheathed his steel shortsword; Sanvyn Llethri, who never leaves my side, immediately grasped the severity of the situation and handed me one of his. The small army prepared to fight.

"You shut your mouth, you little whore! You are no blood of mine! Not anymore! You sealed your fate the moment you threw your lot in with the likes of him! You’re an outlander mongrel as far as I am concerned! Boys! Lets do this!" Orvas whistled and took out his own Ebony Spear, confident and formidable in his Orcish Armor.

It was then Sethyas went out of his mind; the rude words from Orvas Dren about Ilmeni made him go berserk. He hit him right in the face, screaming he would kill him right away. Orvas did not expect the ferocity and speed in that punch, so he fell like a High Rock Pine.

Then hell broke loose. I caught a glimpse of an archer aiming at Seth, and before I could do anything the bolt from his crossbow buried itself in his shoulder. In pure rage I shouted:"ìchyffyrddiad chan rhew” and the archer became covered in pure ice. I shattered him to pieces with a single swipe of my sword, but before that I noticed another bolt being fired off towards our table. I didn’t check it out when it happened, and as it turned out I will have to live with the consequences of what I didn’t do for a very long time.

Panting, more from anger than exhaustion, I noticed Athyn fighting two of Dren’s men at the same time, using the special “Sarethi-technique” which means you fight with both your hands and feet, at the same time. It made me smile; I’ve always admired that kind of fighting. I then noticed that Sethyas was bleeding rather heavily from his injured shoulder, and at the same time was fighting a huge Camonna Tong swordsman, and thought he might need some assistance. That, however, had to wait a while, since the fight extended even more.

It was then the Guards and Ordinators came to help and it was nearly over in fifteen minutes.

The amount of dead bodies on the floor was huge. Later I found out it was some twenty were actually killed, but it seemed to be more. I then finally went over to Sethyas, who was standing overlooking the ‘battlefield’ with a worried expression on his face. I put my hand on his shoulder; his shirt was soaked with blood. A few minutes of focusing and I could feel the torn flesh knit together again. He didn’t seem to notice though.

“Where is Ilmeni, where’s Dren?” Sethyas’ voice was sharp; he almost screamed. Then I was aware that I had not seen either of them since the fighting started.

Seth looked around, and grabbed the arm of an Ordinator.

"Sera? Did you capture or kill a Dunmer in Orcish Armor?"

The Ordinator called to his captain, and they both shook their heads after a moment of discussion. No one matched that description at all. He had likely escaped in the chaos.

I felt my heart sink and rushed to where we had been seated. As I rounded the table I saw a sight that would haunt me for the rest of my life.

[Black Hand]

"Pain. Old and buried now, dull in its ache, yet stinging and fresh when seen through another's eyes. But still pain nonetheless." -S.

[Destri Melarg]

Now you’ve turned into a post machine!

The wedding ceremony was beautiful. I find it amazing that there would be anyone in Redoran opposed to the inclusion of Ilmeni Dren to their house. One would be hard-pressed to find a more honorable creature in all of Vvardenfell. Looks like yet another example of House politics trumping reason.

I also had to smile at Serene’s lament (Shared by women in every reality it seems) that men have it so easy when preparing for a wedding. Serene, I do hope that you realize that taking such pains to make yourself presentable has nothing whatsoever to do with any demands made by men. I can speak for most of us when I say that showing up naked is perfectly acceptable!

And isn’t it just like Orvas Dren to bluster, threaten, and disown the person he kidnaps when his best laid plans go south? I see a clandestine moonlight infiltration in Sethyas’ future! The time for selling your stock in the Dren Plantation is right now!

[Acadian]

Oooh, I see a couple things here - depends on what Serene confirms that sight at the end to be. I fear the worst.

Can you translate that cool frost spell for us?

This post has been edited by Acadian: Aug 15 2011, 01:54 AM

[minque]

Oooh, I see a couple things here - depends on what Serene confirms that sight at the end to be. I fear the worst.

Can you translate that cool frost spell for us?

Of course! it is gaelic and should really be "Chyffyrddiad chan rhew" and it means like Blast of Frost but the translation is "A touch of frost"

Serene knows a lot of spells, she learned from a lady named Sudhendra Vahl, a creation of a member here who has not been seen for years, maybe some of the oldies around remember Override B1????

[minque]

Ilmeni, lying on her back, a bolt sticking from her neck, her mouth in a wide O. Her blood surrounded her head, and her eyes looked at nothing at all, nothing at all.

Then I understood where that second bolt had hit, and cold remorse filled my soul when I realized that if I really had checked it out when I first noticed, this might not have happened; I could have saved her; Ilmeni would have been alive! I kneeled beside her; her blood soaked my white dress and my hands as I gently touched her face. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t speak, nor cry, I was totally numb; I just touched the bolt and looked at the engraving on it without really grasping what I saw.

Azura! Why?? It’s Ilmeni, my sister who’s lying here, dead because of what I didn’t do!

I didn’t expect the Goddess to answer, but she did, this time she did…

Serene! You are the strong one now, you are amongst the living and so is your brother, you must support him…you shall not dwell in the past, what is or isn’t done does not matter anymore.

"Where is Dren? Where's Ilmeni?" I heard Sethyas approach. He was running around frantically, shouting her name, over and over.

“No Seth, don’t come here, please don’t come here, I beg you!!”

He didn’t respond, he had shut down his mind, he was only focused on finding Ilmeni, but I couldn’t let him see her like this; it would break him. I rose and held out my hands to prevent him from coming nearer. The look on his face was terrible, and when he saw my bloodied hands he screamed like a wounded animal, tears welling from his eyes, and when he saw the sight I didn’t want him to see, he slowly sank to his knees, whining, a sound so full of pain, it cut right trough my soul, like a katana.

“Sethyas, oh Sethyas; it was quick; she didn’t know what hit her; she didn’t suffer.”

He didn’t hear me, I was sure of it; he just slowly shook his head, then a spasm went through him, he threw up and fell heavily against me. I managed to take his head on my lap and hold him. Despite the absence of consciousness, his body trembled.

That was the night Sethyas got married and I got a sister, and it was also the night we both lost her.

My heart was cold, my mind empty. I was unable to understand why I was still alive. My breath was so shallow, so non-existent. I just sat with Sethyas’ head on my dress, drenched in Ilmeni’s heart’s blood. My fingers went through his damp disheveled hair, like they were not mine.

How could anyone survive this? How could I go on living when my ignorance deprived my brother of his beloved one?

Serene, you are both going to survive; your destinies are linked together; you will find out in due time.

“Sera Archmaster, let me help you. I can take him to a bed., Is…is Lady Ilmeni really dead?” Sanvyn Llethri stood beside me with a horrified expression in his face.

“Yes, she is, but no, Sanvyn, let me sit here with him for a while. Get Athyn to come, will you?”

I could talk, but my voice sounded like it came from a deep mist; I didn’t recognize it. The timeframe of all this was only minutes, but for me it felt like I’d been sitting beside Ilmeni’s body for hours. When Athyn came, he kneeled beside me, taking me in his arms and holding me tight. I looked at him wondering how he could embrace a murderess, because that was how I felt. I had murdered Ilmeni Velas, I could as well have been firing that bolt myself-- the result would have been the same.

Athyn and Sanvyn lifted Sethyas from the floor; and I sent a single phrase to Athyn, hoping he’d understand. I hadn’t the strength to explain to him;

Morag Tong

I tried to compose myself; I had to see to Ilmeni’s body. In the corner of my eye I noticed Vendrela and Rayne Alas. Did Sanvyn get them here, too? I could use any help I could get, for my hands were trembling and I still had difficulty breathing.

We took her body to the Temple in Vivec. Archcanon Saryoni had already heard the terrible news of her death and had therefore made some arrangements for preparing her for the forthcoming funeral. The ceremony had to be performed within two weeks, as Dunmerii traditions bade.

Her body was thoroughly cleansed; Archcanon Saryoni rubbed it with special herbs to preserve it for a longer time. The cut in her throat was stitched together and she was dressed in a white gown, a tribute to her innocence and kindness.

At dawn we were finished; Ilmeni Velas was lying on an altar in the main hall of the Temple of Vivec. She looked as if she was sleeping. I couldn’t take my eyes off her; my head was throbbing with a dull pain, my eyes were smarting with unshed tears; I wondered when they would finally come.

“You should take off that dress, Archmaster.” My shadow, Sanvyn Llethri gently took my hand and looked at me with utmost worry and love. I nodded; speaking was unthinkable, but he was right. So I did take it off and I knew I’d never ever wear it again. Sanvyn put his woolen robe around me; I wasn’t aware of my nakedness, my mind didn’t function anymore.

Athyn entered the Main Hall, looking pale and worried. He took me in his arms without a word and just held me tight, so tight.

“Will you come with me to the Morag Tong Guildhall?” he asked. “Sethyas is awake; I think he needs you.”

I shook my head; I didn’t know if I could bear to see him, knowing what I’d done, or not done, to be correct. Athyn did not take any notice of me; he just dragged me to my feet and walked me over to the Morag Tong Guildhall.
He was lying under a heap of blankets in a small room apparently used as a sort of study, considering the numerous bookshelves along the walls. His skin was pale and damp, and despite the blankets he was shivering from cold, a cold that came from inside. I felt his pain; it was my pain as well.

He opened his eyes, and merely looked at me. I trembled and pulled the robe tighter around me.

Come Renie, come to me, I’m so cold…

And I did. I didn’t even think about if it was appropriate, I didn’t think at all, I just lay down beside him holding him close…so close.