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> The Gweden report, A story of the story of the stories.
mALX
post Mar 7 2012, 01:05 AM
Post #61


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From: Cyrodiil, the Wastelands, and BFE TN



*

GOLDIE! (donks forehead) [donk] - I should have know it would be a Golden Saint !! That shows how fast my mind isn't working today !!

Tramp
Trashy
Streetwalker
Lady of the Evening
Lady of Easy Virtue
Hooker
Horker Swallower (or Hider)
Worshippers of Dibella

Love the whole section about how to get into the pants, but this line had me roaring:

QUOTE

The Champion made some discreet inquiries around town. Some of the answers weren't as discreet as his questions, and they painted a lurid picture of Count Andel Indarys. There were a few women who admitted to being flattered by the Count's attention, but complained that he'd been less interested in the contents of their lace and ribbons than the garments themselves.



Loved this chapter !!!


*


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mALX
post Mar 7 2012, 04:56 AM
Post #62


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From: Cyrodiil, the Wastelands, and BFE TN



Trollop


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ghastley
post Mar 13 2012, 12:02 AM
Post #63


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@Acadian: no Golden Globes this time. WIll Golden curls do?

@Grits: no granny-pants either

@mALX: "Worshipper of Dibella" would only get me confused with my own Warrior Nuns, but I'll probably use most of the others at some time.

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Meena

"So," said Darwen. "Do you think you can handle three?"

"We're only little" offered the girl with the long blonde curls. He hadn't met her yet. She looked young, or was that just because she was small, like all the Breton women?

The third was Virgilia, who wasn't exactly little. Not in the important places. But she was a lot shorter than the Daedra women, or the Nords, or Sugar, and definitely smaller than Silanu!

It was just that he was comparing her to a petite Breton and a slender Wood elf. She was probably as young as the Breton, and still as giggly as a schoolgirl. That could just be an act, of course, but he liked it.

She was wearing a dress this time, at least for the moment. That didn't fit the schoolgirl image, as it was cut to emphasise her shape, and show off her breasts. It was a rich velvet, with a deep blue color that matched her eyes, and a texture that invited his hands.

But Virgilia didn't want all of his attention - yet. She wanted to introduce him to Meena, the blonde. Meena was a diminutive of Hermine. Hermine Alliot, of the Harcane Grove. She'd have a special tale to tell him tomorrow, so they wouldn't spoil that now. The only thing they'd reveal was that she learned about sex from watching wild animals, so the others were teaching her all the other ways. He'd help with her education, wouldn't he?

"All the other ways?" he asked "How many are we talking about?"

"More than we have time for, but we can cover the basics tonight, and see how far we get," smiled Darwen, slipping out of her buckskins. "Help Meena with her dress, she's still re-learning buttons, too."

They were round the back, where nobody can comfortably reach for themselves. He'd always suspected they were put there so that help would be required. Women are just so devious! He let Meena undo his buttons in return. She did seem unused to them, but at least she could see what she was doing with these.

Darwen and Virgilia were waiting for them on the bed. They took turns to show Meena what to do, and she copied them. Some of the positions were new to him, so Meena wasn't the only one getting an education.

---

As it happened, the reporter's first interview the next day was with Meena, the cute little Breton with the intriguing mystery past they'd alluded to last night. He was eager to have it all revealed to him. Her story, he remininded himself. She'd revealed everything else most thoroughly the night before.

When I met "the Boss" I was a virgin. I didn't have any choice in the matter, I was guarded night and day to keep me that way.

You see, Hircine wanted a Unicorn horn for his collection, and they're rare, to say the least. It's not easy to create a Unicorn, and it takes a long time. You have to start with a white horse, and keep it in close contact with a virgin while the horn grows. That takes years.

I didn't know any of that to start with, or none of my story would have happened. I was maybe ten at the time, travelling with my parents down towards Bravil, when we were attacked by bandits. Someone grabbed me and carried me off, and I lost sight of my parents.

They took me to a shrine in the woods, and showed me a white colt that looked as nervous as I was. They told me they wanted me to look after the horse, and I'd be able to ride him when he got a little bigger. If I wouldn't do what they said, then they had some wolves that needed a meal.

I went over to the horse, and he seemed to calm down when I touched him. Someone handed me an apple to feed him, but no knife to cut it with. It was too big to feed him it all at once, so I had to bite pieces off.

They led us to a little valley in the woods where there was a small stream for water, and plenty of grazing for the horse. I got a bedroll on the ground, and a sack with some bread and cheese in it They left me there with the horse, and walked off, back towards the shrine.

I started to run off after them, but a Minotaur blocked my path! I was terrified, of course, but the creature didn't do anything but stand in the way. I walked back to where the horse was nibbling the grass. The Minotaur watched me, but didn't follow.

Over the next few days I discovered that there were at least three of the Minotaurs patrolling around the edge of the grove. If I tried to leave they'd be there to turn me back. The same for the horse. He couldn't leave either.

Eventually I got up the courage to try running past them. The Minotaur was faster than I was, and carried me back, kicking and yelling to the middle of the grove, where he gave me a beating to discourage any further attempts.

The Unicorn didn't try to escape until much later. He was big enough by then for me to ride on his back, but I wasn't riding when he tried to run off. He'd be faster without me. His horn had started to show too, but it was still just a little bony bump on his forehead, and no use as a weapon. He was quick, but the Minotaurs seemed to know where he was headed, and knocked him down.

He was frightened more than hurt, and ran back to me for comfort. He'd do that many more times in the years we were there. The Minotaurs never did us any real damage, but it always hurt.

I was growing, too, and my clothes were getting worn out and tight. My shoes hurt my feet, so I stopped wearing them, and then I wore holes through my stockings. My blouse wouldn't fasten any more, and my skirt was tprn in several places. Pretty soon, I'd stopped wearing anything.

A fresh sack of food would arrive while I slept each night, and I had hoped that new clothes would come the same way. Apparently I didn't need to wear anything to look after the Unicorn, so I didn't get any.At the rate my hair was growing, perhaps that would cover me soon!

It wasn't just my hair growing. I was starting to change shape, too. And there were other changes. I could see the horse becoming a Unicorn before my eyes. I wondered if I was turning into something else, too.

Just a woman, it turned out. That's a bit scary, if there's nobody to explain what's happening.

I didn't know much about sex, of course. My parents had only told me what I wasn't to let boys do to me. At that age, I hadn't a clue why they'd want to do that anyway. Out here in nature every day, I'd watched wolves, or deer, a few times, so I was starting to get the picture.

The males always seemed to know when the females were ready for them by smell. I could see him sniiffing the air, and he'd go trotting off towards her with, how shall I put this? Increased interest?

My own cycles seemed to cause some sniffing, too. My Unicorn would flare his nostrils, and sometimes he'd scare me with how he reacted. The Minotaurs sampling the air were even more of a worry. as they're half-human. Except that they had nothing to react with. No wonder they were such a bad-tempered bunch!

Riding the Unicorn was making me feel different, too. The more excited it made me, the faster the Unicorn's horn seemed to grow. It was getting quite long now, and he was becoming more aggressive to the other animals around the grove. He was always so gentle with me though.

One day, I found a man's dead body near the edge of the grove. He was wearing leather, and carrying a bow, but they were all useless now. He'd been badly hacked with an axe, it appeared. Just like the Minotaurs were carrying. One of them saw me and drove me away from the corpse, before he picked him up and carried him away.

I was beginning to understand it all now. The Minotaurs weren't there just as jailors for myself and the Unicorn, but also to stop the hunters from taking the prizes before they were ready. One prize was the Unicorn's horn, of course, and another was me.

I sat down and worked it all out. The Unicorn's horn had been growing really quickly recently, so obviously the older we were, the faster it grew. But there had to be a reason why they needed me here. Was it because the horn wouldn't grow if I wasn't with the Unicorn?

And then there was the question of why me, and not any other girl. Perhaps it was hard to find girls who hadn't done it?

And now the horn had grown big enough for the hunters to start coming, why was I still a prisoner? What would happen if they let me out now? Presumably the horn would stop growing, but was that all? Then it struck me. Maybe the horn would fall off and get lost! That had to be it, nothing else made sense.

But it wouldn't just be going away. It would be what I could do if I went away. That's why they kept all men away from me. Why the Minotaurs didn't have everything they were born with.

I wasn't going to let anyone kill my Unicorn, of course. That horn represented several years of my life, and so I didn't want it wasted, either. The two of us had to escape together, and find a way for me to lose my virginity without the horn getting lost in the woods.

The three Minotaurs were more than a match for us, so we'd need outside help just to get away. When another hunter approached the grove and the Minotaur started towards him, we ran over in the opposite direction and drew the other two Minotaurs with us, to stop us escaping. That left the hunter with only one Minotaur to deal with.

One was enough, especially one with an enchanted warhammer to swing. But the tactic was promising, if the right hero turned up.

And of course he did, or I wouldn't be here today. The Minotaurs fell one by one, and My Hero strode into the grove.

Well, limped, actually, because he'd not escaped totally unscathed. Fortunately, I was riding the Unicorn and he'd put away his weapons, so the Unicorn didn't attack. He was quite calm. I was the exact opposite.

My new Hero told me Hircine had sent him for the horn, and I told him everything I knew about it. He agreed with my theory about how it all worked, and said he knew just how to get the horn without harming its owner. I just had to follow him to Anvil.

I didn't know how far Anvil was, or I might not have agreed. We had to travel very carefully as we couldn't get into any fights along the way. He didn't dare draw a weapon because it would provoke the Unicorn, I didn't have any, and we didn't want the Unicorn to run off chasing anyone.

Well, eventually we arrived at the stables outside town. We put the Unicorn in a stall and closed the gate behind it. The man at the stables, Ernest, rented us a bedroll in the next stall so we could do the rest, without getting too far from the Unicorn.

The following morning, there was just an ordinary white horse in the next stall, and a horn lying on the ground. We were neither as unique as we were the day before, but I didn't regret anything. I'd do it all again, especially that last part!

That's when he told me about Gweden. I had a lot of catching up to do, and there wasn't a better place to do it. He had to go back to Hircine's shrine with the horn, but he'd see me there as soon as he returned.

Tsarrina had been told I was coming and had Juliana help me settle in. She even shared her next customer with me. As she put it "He doesn't know you're inexperienced, he's never done it before himself. Just stay one step ahead and lead him." He was a nice lad, eager to please, and exteremely grateful for everything. And why not, when he was getting two for the price of one?

And what happened to the Unicorn? I leave my white stallion down at the stables, and he's making me gold the same way I earn it. Isn't it strange how the stallions make all the money, but the men have to pay us?


This post has been edited by ghastley: Apr 2 2012, 11:37 PM


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Acadian
post Mar 13 2012, 12:36 AM
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What a clever and sweet adaptation of Hircine’s quest! *Sigh* If only it worked that way in the game. I’ve never ever been able to bring myself to kill that unicorn. You did a wonderful job with this one! smile.gif


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mALX
post Mar 13 2012, 03:29 AM
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I loved this !! Like Acadian, I can't bring myself to kill the Unicorn either...but usually ride her instead with some wild consequences, lol. Awesome Write !!


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Grits
post Mar 14 2012, 03:32 AM
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My one trip through Cyrodiil with the unicorn ended in disaster. It got away from me and went on a killing spree. I like your unicorn (and Meena) much better! Of course, my CoC would have needed Plan B for the deflowering and dehorning. How sweet that the former unicorn gets to stay near his Meena, catching up on the action as well. smile.gif


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ghastley
post Mar 20 2012, 12:49 AM
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@All: Meena's quest was created because I didn't like killing off the one and only Unicorn in Cyrodiil either. So I came up with a story that lets other Unicorns exist any time they're needed, assuming you can ever find a virgin! Hircine's happy, the player's happy, and Meena's exstatic! If your Player happens to be female, Ernest is very happy, too, if a little exhausted.

(And Acadian, it does happen that way in my game, now)

Now back to minimal amendment of the vanilla game with Maeva.

------

Maeva

"Maeva was the first to join this one here at Gweden" said Tsarrina. "She's also my only part-timer"

Maeva explained to the reporter that it was because she had to work her farm the rest of the time. This was just a hobby really. Even if it was one she really enjoyed, farming was her true vocation.

I grew up on a farm, and I grew fast. Maybe it was all the exercise and good food, but I was the first girl in my class at school to fill out. That's why I'm called "The Buxom", of course. And it happened just when I was starting to rebel against parental authority, just like any kid of my age.

I could see that my new assets were getting all the boys' attention, especially the bolder ones who were starting to assert their own independence. I started hanging out with all the bad boys, much to my parents' annoyance.

It didn't stop me from doing my work on the farm. I was rebelling against my parents, not the cows, or pigs, or crops. They weren't the ones telling me what to do and what not to do. My mother did what she could, and taught me that if I wasn't going to be good, I should at least be careful. I listened to that, even if she didn't think I did.

Most of the kids I went around with grew up to be Marauders. One by one, they dropped out of school and disappeared, off to some ruin somewhere to join a band of outlaws. Soon there were hardly any interesting boys left. A lot of the other girls had caught up to me, so I wasn't the center of attention that I had been. Some of them could play the purity card, too. Bjalfi was the one guy who changed his mind and stayed, so I ended up with him kind of by default.

My parents weren't happy with my choice, but they helped set us up at Whitmond Farm, and let me have Rockshatter so I could look after myself. Obviously, they didn't expect Bjalfi to do that. It wasn't exactly dangerous there, just outside Anvil, but there were Marauders and Bandits just a bit further out from the city. I kept the mace handy, hanging over the fireplace where I could grab it in a hurry. That was as much to keep my parents quiet as anything. I didn't ever expect to use it.

Life at Whitmond was good enough to start with, but Bjalfi was one for going to the tavern in the evenings. He thought I was, too, but he didn't remember that I was always the first to leave, (with one of the men, of course). I wasn't there for the drinking, I had other things in mind, and I preferred doing it sober. And if I had to get up early to work the farm, I didn't want any hangover!

So I generally stayed at home, while he went into town for a few ales. Apparently he ran into a few of his old friends from our school days, because he came home one night, snatched Rockshatter off the mantel, and ran off out of the house with it.

I should have seen it coming, I guess. I'd complained when he came home worse for drink, especially if he couldn't perform, and he was probably feeling a bit hen-pecked. Anyway, I found out that he'd gone to join the gang at Fort Strand, just in between my farm and here.

If I'd still had Rockshatter, I'd have gone there and hauled him back out, but he'd taken it with him, and I wasn't taking them all on without any weapons. Fortunately for me, the Champion looked in at my farm on his way here to Gweden, and agreed to go get Rockshatter back for me.

Of course, he didn't know Bjalfi from the rest, so it wasn't too surprising when he came back with Rockshatter, but not my husband. He'd hauled a lot of armor and weapons back to town to sell, and the mace matched my description. He couldn't remember who he'd taken it from, but everyone in the fort was dead now.

So I was now a widow. I'd been pretty much working the farm on my own anyway, as Bjalfi wasn't a lot of help with that. He'd done odd jobs for other folks in the area, and brought in a bit of income that way. At least, that's what he told me. For all I know, he'd been taking a share from the Marauder gang he ran off to. I could survive all right on my own, but I needed a man for other reasons. I was going to have to get back to the dating game again.

The Champion had another idea. I could make a bit of extra cash at Gweden and get all the men I needed without having to find another husband. And it was close enough that I could just go there in the evening, and still put in a day's work at my own farm. They'd be good customers for my produce, too, especially when he'd recruited a few more staff.

So I came up here to see Tsarrina right away. It was sad for me to see a farm not growing anything, but a closer look at the soil told me why. You couldn't even grow weeds in that! All she could manage was a couple of flowers by the door.

It made sense that she was making the best of the situation by running a brothel instead, and she was doing a good job of that. I really liked the way she'd made the old farmhouse into a cozy nest for a bit of fun.

She showed me down to the basement, where I could sleep if I needed to. I told her that I had my own farm, and I needed to get back to it during the day, but I could help her out in the evenings. Now I had Rockshatter back, she had someone to keep the drunks in line, too. She told me the Legion Patrolman came here regularly, so that wasn't a problem.

I knew him, of course, as he'd drop by my place from time to time, especially if Bjalfi wasn't around. That sort of dedication to duty makes a woman feel safe. I suspected he was one of Tsarrina's regular customers, and I wasn't wrong.

I asked her if she ever did what I knew he liked. Tsarrina shows a lot of sharp teeth when she smiles, and that would put a lot of men off from asking. She told me she didn't but if I did, she'd be sure to let her customers know that was now available. We talked about our own likes and dislikes, I'd tried just about everything, or thought I had, but she knew more than I did. She called me an amateur, and grinned to show she was just joking.

And talk of the Daedra, who should come through the door just then, but the Legion Patrolman. He'd come by to introduce his replacement, as he was retiring. A younger man in the same uniform followed him in. Two of them, two of us. Perfect timing.

I rode back to my farm that night on the back of a Legion Horse. I don't think my legs would have carried me that far.


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Acadian
post Mar 20 2012, 01:56 AM
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In TES, bad boys grow up to be marauders!

I love how this fits so perfectly right into the game regarding Maeva. A wonderful addition!


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mALX
post Mar 20 2012, 03:58 PM
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I wondered when we'd hear about Maeva the Buxom - especially since it was mentioned she would be invited in so early on, lol. Awesome Write!


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Grits
post Mar 20 2012, 04:11 PM
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I like this one a lot because it’s a solid tie to the vanilla game. It even works in Maeva’s remarks about dating again. Fun!


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ghastley
post Mar 26 2012, 11:52 PM
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Back to all-new content (except for the back-story to Dark-eyes' employment) for this one. I'm rapidly running out of tales for the staff to tell the reporter, but at least there's the post-script of Miranu after that.


---------

Dark-eyes

"Why the maid's outfit? Because everybody's read the book, of course!" replied Dark-Eyes.

The reporter hadn't, so he didn't understand. Tsarrina had a copy of The Lusty Argonian Maid with her, and she passed it to him. It didn't take him long to get the point.

Of course I knew why I was being hired. Voranil even had a copy of the book on his desk when he interviewed me. I didn't have any problem with that, as long as he paid well, and treated me fairly.

I didn't ask about the size of the spear. I wouldn't have been given an honest answer anyway.

I'd heard about his frequent dinner parties, too. But I thought that was all they were. I didn't know about the skooma, then. So I was expecting to wait on the guests and serve their food, and nothing more.

The previous maid, a Dunmer called Tolisi Girith, had done just that, and probably wasn't doing anything special for Voranil. Maknok gro-Coblug and his wife Rogmesh hadn't told me about anything extra when they suggested I apply for the position. Maknok was the groundskeeper at Riverview, and Rogmesh was the cook, so they were busy elsewhere when dinner was served. Only Tolisi would have known what happened at the parties, and she was dead now.

The Coblugs told me how she died. They'd all been in the Newlands Lodge one Sundas, as they usually were, taking their one short break in the week. Maknok and Rogmesh were sitting at a table near the stairs talking to the other Orcs, and Tolisi and Tanasa were at the bar, talking to Dervera Romalen, who ran the place. Tanasa Arano was the charwoman and also a Dunmer.

Then the Hero of Kvatch came in, the same man who's now the Champion of Cyrodiil, and our boss. They heard shouts from the bar. Two women in dark, magical armor, with maces in their hands, came rushing out to attack the Hero. A watchman came in from the street and joined the fight, and the two women were soon killed. When they died, their armor disappeared in a cloud of yellow smoke, and revealed ... Tolisi and Tanasa.

They found a book on Tanasa's corpse that connected her to that Mythic Dawn cult, you know, the ones that assassinated the Emperor. Another book just like it was found when they cleared Tolisi's room. Maknok and Rogmesh picked up Tanasa's cleaning duties until a new charwoman could replace her, but Voranil needed a new maid for his parties right away. And I got the job, probably because I wasn't averse to the idea of spear-polishing.

Now let me tell you about Voranil's parties. The guests arrived one or two at a time, so we didn't have to seat them all at once. It meant longer hours for the servants that way, but it wasn't in one big rush, so we preferred it. Everyone was drinking wine, and some guests were more drunk than others.

Orintur and Eilonwy usually departed early, as did Naspia Cosma. That left just the men, and me. That's when the skooma came out. I was passed around like I was another bottle, and that made me mad. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like doing it, or I wouldn't be here now. I just didn't like the way they just assumed I was available to them. I was Voranil's employee, not theirs!

But I needed the money, so I put up with it. I probably would have saved enough gold to quit before long, but the Hero heard the talk around town about Voranil's new Argonian Maid and came to see for himself. There I was, maid costume and all, just inside Riverview when he came in. I told him all about Voranil's skooma parties, and how I'd have gone completely nuts if I didn't have my amulet and all its memories.

You see, the amulet I wore was one of a pair. My best friend, Weedum-Ja, and I had bought them at the Red Diamond store in the Imperial City when we were both living and working (and having fun) there. That was in happier times before the Oblivion crisis started.

They weren't quite identical amulets. One had a blue stone, and the other a green one. but they were otherwise the same design. Neither of us could decide which we liked best, so we agreed to swap every time we met. That way we didn't have to make up our minds.

After we left the city, that didn't happen so much. Weedum-Ja went to Kvatch when her employer moved there, and I later moved in the opposite direction, to Cheydinhal. That made the amulets even more special, as we didn't see each other so often.

When I heard about the Daedra overrunning Kvatch, I had feared the worst. But the Hero told me he'd seen an Argonian woman at the refugee camp and it could be her!

I gave him the amulet I had, and told him to take it and find out if Weedum-Ja had really survived the siege. I was itching to quit that job, but I could wait a few days more for that kind of news. I was really amazed that he'd agree to do that for me, but that's what he did.

It took longer than I'd expected for him to return, but he explained why. Weedum-Ja was indeed safe, but the other amulet hadn't fared so well. She'd broken it scrambling out of a window when the Daedra arrived, and she didn't want me to see it until it had been repaired. So he'd stopped at the Red Diamond Jewelers on his way back to get it fixed.

That wasn't going to be so simple. The reddish gold that set off the jewels so well was hard to find, and Hamlof Red-Tooth didn't have any more. The only place to get it was the Abandoned Mine near the Black Marsh and Morrowind borders. Hamlof couldn't use anything else for the repairs, or the joins would show.

So he'd gone all the way out to the mine, and found it full of bandits. There were silver veins and even gold ones on the upper level, but none of them were the red gold he was looking for. That was only in one vein in a rock in the lowest level of the mine, past even more bandits.

He did find a sizeable nugget, and took it back to Hamlof. Since it was larger than Hamlof needed for the repairs, he kept the remaining gold as complete payment for his work. At least Weedum-Ja and the Hero didn't have to pay for anything. The Hero told me that he'd actually made quite a profit out of the trip, what with the other gold and silver nuggets he'd found in the mine. Not to mention the armor and weapons the bandits didn't need any more! I guess that explains why he didn't mind making the journey for me.

Then the repairs took another three days. Hamlof had to cast a new mounting for the jewel. Fortunately, he could take an impression from its sister amulet, or it might have taken even longer. Then both the amulets had to go back to Weedum-Ja, so she could see that the repair was good, before he could bring it to me.

Without the amulet to distract me, I was getting quite agitated. When he arrived with it, I quit my job immediately, without really thinking about what I'd do next.

The Hero fixed that, too. He told me about Gweden, and Tsarrina, and all the others here. I kept the maid costume, of course. A lot of the customers here can read, and I keep hoping that big spear will turn up!

It's not far to the Kvatch camp from here, so I get to see Weedum-Ja from time to time, and swap amulets again. They're making a start on rebuilding the city, but it's going to be a long slow process. The boss spends a fair amount of his time helping there, so you won't find him here at the farm too often. I'd like to help more too, but this place is busy!


She showed him the amulet she was wearing. Dark-eyes wasn't sure if it was the one that got broken, or the other one. Hamlof had made such a good job of the repairs, you couldn't tell.

He got the impression that it wasn't just the amulet he was supposed to be looking at. The jewel hung between two of the largest globes he'd seen on an Argonian. She noticed his gaze was wandering.

"I imagine you're asking yourself why an Argonian needs breasts, if she doesn't suckle her young?" she asked. When he nodded, she continued "Well, our own philosophers have debated that, too, and the theory is that the Hist are trying to make us more like men and mer. Our tails make us better swimmers, so we kept those, but we walk more upright than we once did. And we only lay eggs in the hot swamps of our homelands. In colder regions, we give birth in the same way your women do."

"We try not to breed too far from the Hist, as our young need to lick the sap to develop their intelligence. A new mother's breasts will ooze sap, or something very like it, for a few days after she gives birth, to allow her some time to take her child back to Black Marsh for the real stuff. The child will lick, not suck, but then again, with her infant having a full set of teeth, the mother prefers it that way!"

"We don't need anything this size for that, of course. We just seem to be mimicing the other races, so that we fit in better. And men (and mer) do seem to like the results!"

Dark-eyes seemed pleased to have got that little speech off her chest, so to speak. The reporter had taken it all down in his notebook, so that was good.

Tsarrina had told her to appeal to his curiosity. "He's a reporter. That's what makes them tick." She hoped his curiosity would extend a little further later. She had more to show him, if he was interested.




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Acadian
post Mar 27 2012, 12:37 AM
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How clever to do so much with the Argonian Maid. Including the Cheydinhal Mythic Dawn Sleepers and the whole Riverview party scene was great. The whole idea of the amulets and friendship between Dark-eyes and Weedum-Ja was sweet as can be. I like Weedum-Ja a lot. I also enjoyed your wonderful stab at why Argonian women have breasts. Well done, ghastley!

This post has been edited by Acadian: Mar 27 2012, 12:39 AM


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Grits
post Mar 30 2012, 01:36 AM
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Oh, so that’s what they’re for. biggrin.gif

It was neat to see the death of a cultist from a regular citizen’s viewpoint. I never thought about what their neighbors would think once the armor faded and they were dead on the floor.

The story about Weedum-Ja and the amulet swapping was very sweet. I like her. Fun story!


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ghastley
post Apr 3 2012, 12:06 AM
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@Acadian: I think it must be because Weedum-Ja is the only one in the camp with a positive attitude. All the others are complaining about how they can't sleep, or the smell.

@Grits: Having two Mythic Dawn sleepers in the same town, and both working at Riverview, was why I decided she'd be the maid there, rather than anywhere else. In actual game play, she can be hired in the time it takes for the player to walk from the Newlands Lodge to Riverview, and she's already sick of the job when you arrive!

And while we're doing tales with tails....

----

Shulassa

"I'm sure Tsarrina has told you she think's she's part man or mer. That's because I know my Grandfather was a Nord, and we find a lot of similarities between us," Shulassa told the reporter. "Would you like to hear the whole story?"

The man from the Black Horse Courier told her that he would indeed, and she began.

Like I said, my grandfather was a Nord, and a particularly big and strong one. That was his problem. Everyone wanted to prove themselves by challenging him. He didn't like fighting, even if did do it well, and he came south to get away from it. He settled in Skingrad, which is where he met my grandmother. She'd come north from Elsweyr looking for employment. She thought she might get a job as as a maid in the town, or else picking grapes in the vineyards.

They probably met in a tavern one evening. They both felt like outsiders, and that was all they had in common to start with. Gradually, the two misfits fell in love. Slowly was good, because by the time the moons made grandmother receptive, grandfather knew what to expect. He wore an old leather cuirass that night, and never felt her claws on his back.

By the time it fell apart, years later, the old armor had done its job, and they had a pair of healthy young kits to raise. The older one, my father, was large for a Suthay-raht, and many mistook him for the larger breeds. Obviously a lot of that came from his father. My aunt, in contrast, was small like her mother.

When my father grew up, he took a job as apprentice to a merchant in the Imperial City, which is where he met my mother. When he became a Journeyman, he returned with his wife to Skingrad and opened his own store there. I was born a year later and was their only child. While they struggled to make their business a success, I spent a lot of time with my grandparents .

They were both wonderful story-tellers. Grandfather's tales all took place in a frozen north of ice caves and dragons, with damsels in distress that needed to be rescued. Grandmother's stories were of desert sands, and hidden oases. Her damsels could rescue themselves, and steal the treasure as they left!

Sometimes we all went hunting. Grandmother taught me to be stealthy, not grandfather's strong point, as his great size was hard to hide. But he could chase off bears, so we made a good team. My parents were happy to sell the pelts and meat we brought back, too, so they encouraged my hobby. Before long I was hunting on my own, and earning my keep that way.

The life of a hunter suits the female Khajiit. She's happy to be alone most of each month, and she comes back for company when the moons tell her to. That's when mothers watch out for their daughters, as they have little self-control, especially when they're young and inexperienced. My mother was a bit worried when I seemed much too calm after my hunting trips. It made things easier for her, but was I feeling well? We had that talk, and she discovered I wasn't as innocent as she'd hoped.

What shocked her more was when I'd done it, as her calendar didn't agree. No the dates weren't wrong, I just wasn't as tied to them as she thought I should be. I was more like a Nord than a Khajiit in that respect, a bit of Grandfather coming through.

She felt she had a freak for a daughter, and she wasn't too pleased. So I stayed out hunting for longer and longer periods, returning only when I need to get my equipment repaired. Soon I learned to do that for myself, too. My father was too busy with his shop to notice. Other Khajiiti seemed to agree with my mother. The women all thought I was shameless, being ready all the time. The men weren't happy with the idea of a female who had to be seduced first. They were used to just being in the right place at the right time.

My grandparents were getting old, and pretty soon the bears stopped being afraid of my grandfather. After the funeral, my grandmother moved in with my parents, but she didn't last long without him. Now I really didn't have any reason to go back to town.

When I finally did, I found that my parents too were dead, killed by bandits on a trip into the Imperial City. Someone told me that my mother's cousin S'rathad was looking for me, and he'd be back in town near the end of the month. I stayed around and waited for him, and he gave me a bottle that he said my grandfather wanted me to have. He'd been given it by my aunt when she went south to Elsweyr after my grandparents died, with instructions to pass it on to me when I grew up.

That's when the boss came into my life. He had a reputation around town for helping folks out. Erthor, over at the Mages Guild, had been rescued from zombies at Bleak Flats Cave. And there had been a nest of Vampires just outside town that he'd helped clear out. So everyone suggested I show him the bottle and the note I found inside it.

All the note said was: "In the shed behind the Inn". It didn't say which Inn, or what was supposed to happen there, or anything helpful.

"The bottle itself is another clue," he told me. "It's Tamika's West Weald wine, so I'd bet the shed is the one behind the West Weald Inn." He ran off to look, and soon he was back with another bottle in his hand, just like the one I had. There was a note in that one, too.

Again it just described a location - on a rock by the south wall of the castle. We went there and found another bottle, with another note. "Above the guards' heads in the courtyard." That bottle was on one of the rafters over the walkway.

The next note told us to look on Nestarel's balcony. That house had been locked and uninhabited for years, so he made me wait in the Two Sisters' Lodge while he went for it alone. He didn't want me getting into any trouble if he had to pick the lock to get in. The town watch owed him a couple of favours, so he'd take his chances.

It turned out that the watch wasn't the danger with this one. He found the place full of undead. Zombies, skeletons, and wraiths attacked him when he went in. After that, I stayed behind on all the bottle hunts. The next note said "by the press" and it was in another Tamika's bottle. She had a wine press behind her house in town, but it wasn't that one. The next bottle was out in the vineyard, by the press there.

"Behind the well" wasn't very helpful either. There was a well near the press in the vineyard, so of course he checked that on his way back. No luck. That well was the closest to the press, and the furthest would be the one by the North wall of the city behind Summitmist Manor. I asked if the one we'd seen in the castle wouldn't be more likely, but he said he knew there was nothing there. He was right, of course, and the next note told us to look "near the Tomatoes".

"That capital letter makes me think they're special ones, like Undena Orethi's"

I had to agree that hers were the best, but did that mean in her house, or out where she grew them? We used the same logic as before and decided he'd look outside the city walls for the next bottle.

Except that it wasn't a bottle this time. He found a small box with a plain gold ring in it. No enchantment, nothing special about it at all. I looked more carefully at it, and then I understood. This was my Grandmother's wedding ring! Not valuable, but priceless to me!

I was so happy, I could have burst (except that I'm not a Bosmer). I told him all about my grandparents and their stories, and my childhood in Skingrad. I probably told him a bit more than that, because he noticed that Tsarrina and I had something in common. He told me how she'd come to terms with being more like a human or elf than a Khajiit.

That made a lot more sense than becoming a hermit hunter. I leapt at the chance to join her clan here at Gweden. Apparently, it was a good time to do so, as she was getting swamped with running the business, and didn't have the time for anything else. She always made time for Ma'iq, but he was special.

And as I told you, Khajiiti males don't find me to their taste. I'm more the exotic dish on the menu here., I cater to the adventurous types of all the other races, who want something different. Tsarrina always tells them she'll give them their money back if I use my claws or bite them. And there's Freija here to heal them, if it's really serious. It's hard to keep a straight face when she says that!


He'd abandoned his ideas of professional detachment days ago, and this was the last interview. He let her show him what "something different" meant. The rougher tongue, the surprises she could spring using her tail. He liked different, he decided.


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Acadian
post Apr 3 2012, 12:39 AM
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This was fun!

'He wore an old leather cuirass that night, and never felt her claws on his back.’
Ever so much more clever than just dealing and healing. biggrin.gif

’I was so happy, I could have burst (except that I'm not a Bosmer).’ tongue.gif

And our reporter finishes with something exotic on the menu: rough tongue and tail. smile.gif


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mALX
post Apr 3 2012, 05:43 PM
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Dark Eyes:

QUOTE

I didn't ask about the size of the spear. I wouldn't have been given an honest answer anyway.


BWAAHAA! Ain't it the truth !!! ROFL !!!

Loved the little jaunt into why Argonians have breasts !!


Shulassa:

The last several paragraphs, had me rolling !!!

Great write, (and imagination) as always !!


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ghastley
post Apr 10 2012, 01:51 AM
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Just an interlude to wrap up the Gweden part of the story before I move on to Miranu.

By the way "Summary" is the title because that's what the reporter needs to do, not just because I do too.

------

Summary

The young reporter from the Black Horse Courier had a problem. His normal practice was just to turn in his notebook and let the editor decide what would appear in print. That might not be such a good idea this time.

He'd been sent here to write an article about the Champion of Cyrodiil, but he hadn't even seen him, and all his notes were about the women.

For example, there were his notes on how to tell the girls apart in the dark. Dark-eyes had scales, and Shulassa fur, so they were easy. Size and shape did it for most of the others, especially Silanu. But Prizna had been totally right about all the Daedric women being the same perfect shape. For them, it was all about more subtle differences. Prizna's skin was warmer, so that was simple, as long as there was someone else to compare with. It took him quite some time to discover that Goldie would squeal with pleasure if you kissed her just there. Nelrene liked it too, but she did so more quietly. Once he'd guessed correctly and they opened their eyes, the glowing red, blue or gold made it easy.

How long had they played that game? He hadn't written that down. How could he write in the dark? Even if he wasn't way too busy!

And then there was the note that his favorite flavour was Virgilia. That wasn't in his own handwriting, but it was a very good forgery, enough to fool the Khajiit brothers. He suspected Virgilia had written it herself.

That reminded him of another benefit he'd got from this assignment: The words "Khajiit" and "lick" would no longer conjure up thoughts of that stupid Argonian in Leyawiin and his dumb jokes!

He wasn't sure if the references to "polishing" would make sense to everyone. How well-known was that book, or the play it was taken from? When he re-read that part it looked like he was bragging, so he decided to leave it out completely. She'd been exaggerating just to make him feel good, hadn't she?

He'd been at the farm for long enough to see that Tsarrina was very good at matching the customers to the specialities of the girls. Silanu to those who wanted discipline and correction. Nelrene to those who didn't quite take it that far, but still needed to be told what to do. At the other end of that scale, Selena was eager to please, and she'd do anything the customer asked, and better than they expected!

Sugar took on the "vigorous" types. She liked it rough, but she'd give as good as she got. They'd put a Restore Strength and Endurance potion beside the bed when she had a customer, and it wasn't for her, except indirectly.

Darwen and Cybeline were very acrobatic and flexible, and gave good value to the more athletic customers. Darwen was also the dancer, who'd set the mood for everyone with her gyrations.

Dark-eyes and Shulassa catered to the clients who wanted "something different". They didn't get Khajiit customers, except for Ma'iq visiting Tsarrina. It just wasn't part of their culture. Argonians were also rarely seen at the farm, and those that did come were as likely to go with someone other than Dark-eyes. But she had her Lusty Maid role, and she really enjoyed that game.

Prizna, too appealed to the adventure-seeking types. Most of them had never seen a Dremora before, and certainly never a naked female one! She'd also helped close an Oblivion gate, which left many of her customers in awe. So did most of the things she did to them.

Juliana remained the first-timers specialist. Any of them could make a man out of a boy, but Juliana could make him a regular customer!

Maeva and Freija were the archetypal Nord good time girls, the kind you'd want to cuddle up to on a cold evening in the mountains, ... or any other time. They were also the ones who'd take control if things got too boistrous on party nights. Nelrene's background as a guard would come out then, too, and Sugar could help negotiate the peace with her axe.

Virgilia wasn't a jiggly giggly schoolgirl any more, but she could play the part perfectly for anyone who wanted that fantasy. (She was still naturally jiggly, but the giggly part was all an act). Meena could play the eager young ingenue just as well. It wasn't that long since she'd been a virgin, and she still remembered how to act like one. As a Breton, she was naturally small, which helped the illusion.

And Goldie did her smoldering "are you good enough for me?" act to perfection. Nobody ever failed, but she managed to give her clients a feeling that they'd achieved something momentous. Ego-boosts like that were good for everybody's business.

And they all thought the Champion of Cyrodiil, their boss, was the perfect employer. Tsarrina was held in almost equal esteem for the way she ran the place and kept both customers and staff happy.

He'd been given enough gold to rent a room in Anvil for two nights. He'd been here a week, but he hadn't ever reached Anvil, so he still had all that. He decided to use it to rent a room at Brina Cross on his way back instead, and transcribe his notes selectively to a fresh book. He wouldn't get interrupted and distracted there.

He wasn't going to discard this one, of course. He had enough material here for a novel. One that would make "The Real Barenziah (Daggerfall Edition)" look tame. Now where could he find a publisher that he trusted?

Getting back to the Courrier article, if he didn't write about the women, what did he have left to write about? They'd all been rescued, or at least helped out of a significant problem, by the Champion, but in one edition, he couldn't tell all their stories. Certainly not as well as they'd told them to him. Especially as there were things you weren't allowed to print, and others he'd never be able to put into words.

He felt that he owed Tsarrina a lot for her generous gift of the girls' time. He also knew that was exactly what she wanted him to feel. She was a shrewd businesswoman, and had orchestrated his whole visit to suit her purposes, but he wasn't complaining. She'd get the sort of article she wanted, if he could just get the right words together. It suited his purposes too.

He had to make all the men want to come here and hear the stories first-hand, and all the women want to be rescued by the Champion. He should find a way to mention the Daedra, because you wouldn't find their like elsewhere. There was so much he wanted to write, and so few words you could get onto one broadsheet.

"Women Rescued" was a good headline. Especially with the Champion of Cyrodiil named in the sub-heading as the rescuer. He could point out the large number of good deeds as a reason for not giving all the details. He did need to mention Tsarrina's name, and maybe quote her somewhere in the article.

Prizna had made a real impression on him, which was clearly why Tsarrina started with her. It had taken him a while to realize that she didn't just party naked, she fought that way, and she'd closed the Oblivion Gate by the Champion's side without any armor. Reminding the readers that the Gate had been threatening Bravil would just add to the mood he was planning for that part of the piece. Just mentioning that there were two more Daedra women, of different races, should be enough.

And they weren't the only unique thing about the Champion's establishment. There were others to mention, like the Unicorn the Champion had rescued along with its rider. And a real Lusty Argonian Maid. Well, maybe she wasn't a real Maid any more, but the rest was definitely real. Silanu was also unique, in a big way, but she'd asked him not to reveal her hiding place, in case any of the Mythic Dawn were still around.

He reminded himself that all the races of Cyrodiil - and beyond - were represented here. He should use that to make the point that the Champion was everyone's champion, and here was the proof. That should keep the brothers happy.

He could attribute Gweden's fine taste in wines to the Champion too. Tsarrina wouldn't mind, he was sure. Tamika and the Surilie Brothers would appreciate their names appearing. He should show them the draft article on his way back.

He could mention the view of Anvil bay at sunset, and how the view inside the Lodge could be just as awe-inspiring. And on the subject of Anvil, he'd better provide a map to the place, so people would know how to get here from the town. That could be printed on the back.

But he'd have to write it tomorrow, because right now, a little blonde Breton wanted his attention, and he thought she deserved it in full.

This post has been edited by ghastley: May 24 2012, 04:24 PM


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Acadian
post Apr 10 2012, 03:10 AM
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This was certainly some of your very best writing. Summary was exactly what is was, but undoubtedly the most brilliant one I’ve seen. I loved it, starting here:
‘notes on how to tell the girls apart in the dark’
All the way to here:
‘because right now, a little blonde Breton wanted his attention.’

What a perfect conclusion to this wonderful series. goodjob.gif



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post Apr 13 2012, 03:55 PM
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This had me rolling:


QUOTE

And then there was the note that his favorite flavour was Virgilia. That wasn't in his own handwriting, but it was a very good forgery, enough to fool the Khajiit brothers. He suspected Virgilia had written it herself.


ROFL !!!

Great Write, as always!


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Grits
post Apr 16 2012, 03:05 AM
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A summary indeed, and wrapped in the young reporter’s very entertaining thoughts. The Champion really shines too, which is neat because they still could be anyone. This was great, ghastley! smile.gif


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