Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

29 Pages V « < 26 27 28 29 >  
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Sleeper in the Cave, a Morrowind fanfic
SubRosa
post Aug 3 2020, 06:34 AM
Post #541


Ancient
Group Icon
Joined: 14-March 10
From: Between The Worlds



Forgot to mention. If you are working on some other writing, post it here at Chorrol as well!


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
ghastley
post Aug 3 2020, 06:21 PM
Post #542


Councilor
Group Icon
Joined: 13-December 10



Good to see Dralsi getting some spotlight. I added her to my Evergloam mod for Oblivion, and wrote it up here, which all led to Clark being Karliah's father in my Skyrim tales. Since Dralsi's story mainly takes place between TES IV and V, it gets overlooked, and she doesn't even get an entry on UESP's Lore pages. sad.gif



--------------------
Mods for The Elder Scrolls single-player games, and I play ESO.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Kazaera
post May 1 2021, 02:04 PM
Post #543


Finder
Group Icon
Joined: 13-December 09
From: Germany



*waves hi* The usual hellos and the usual apologies! 2020/2021 threw my writing routine all into disarray and this chapter has been an absolute bear to write. I'm even starting to post it before I've finished completely editing it, which I don't usually do, just so I get some momentum to get past it.

@SubRosa - thanks for the detailed comment! smile.gif And as an FYI - my writing in other fandoms is generally fairly obscure, consisting mainly of Silmarillion fanfic with a sudden sidestep last year into SWTOR. I figured there wouldn't be much of a prospective audience for it here! However, in case you're interested I do post all my polished works on AO3.

@ghastley - I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Dralsi was criminally underutilised! biggrin.gif I did some calculations and realised that hey, there is absolutely nothing *preventing* an adult Dralsi who's still trying to figure out her family ending up on Vvardenfell during TESIII...

Last chapter, Adryn had a no-good, terribly bad day which involved getting strong-armed by Ranis Athrys into being her errand girl, discovered by Habasi of the Thieves' Guild, and immediately blackmailed by Habasi into being her errand girl. After running into a stranger by the name of Dralsi on her first Thieves' Guild task, she attempted to play Ranis against Habasi in the form of asking to be sent out into the wilderness out of sheer desperation. Let's see how that's working out for her.

Important note: I don't usually do content warnings here, but this chapter - and this section especially - touches on some heavy subject matter. Warnings are under the spoiler tag for those who feel they might need them.



Chapter 23.1
*****


When Almalexia returned she was no longer naked, a sleeping robe wrapped around her body. The candlelight still showed two spots of colour high on her cheeks, but her lips were thin, her face blank.

"Right. Tell me. Who is it?"

"Who is what?" I responded, wary, from where I sat up in our bed. I misliked the look on Almalexia's face. Something about that frozen expression reminded me of a trap-spider, ready to leap the instant something touched its web.

"Is it Sotha Sil? Vivec? Alandro Sul?" She hurled the names of some of my dearest friends as if they were javelins. "Please don't say Dumac. Necessity makes me willing to contemplate another man in our bed, but I draw the line at Dwemer."

It took a few moments for me to understand what she was implying. "Wait, you think I want to- Vivec's barely more than a child!"

Almalexia snorted. "Forty years old, and with a new lover every week. Some child." I was saved from having to work out a response to that when she continued. "But all right. Not Vivec, then. Sotha Sil? If you want men in that way, he's a fine specimen of one."

There was an admiring tone to those words. I was fairly sure I should be having some reaction to that, but in all honesty it was buried beneath all my other problems with what she was saying.

"Almalexia, I don't- don't want men in that way."

"That's a surprise." My wife's voice was as cold as Sheogorad waters. "Because it's very clear you don't want me."

I let myself fall on my side, drew my arm up so it covered my eyes.

Five years ago, I remembered, my upcoming wedding had been the talk of Resdayn. So many congratulations, so many toasts... so many teasing remarks, as well. I still remembered Dumac's, half my assistants have already laid bets on how long it will take her to kill you. His, of course, had been tame. Others were delivered with a wink and a nudge, the ribald implications clear to all.

Azura must be smiling on you, that the Erabenimsun's daughter looks like that . It's good that you argue – fire outside the bed means fire in it as well. Who wants to bet on how long it'll take until we see them again after the wedding? I say a week, ha ha.

And I'd laughed along and not thought much of any of it. True, I'd never before done any of the things they were alluding to – had never wanted to – but that wasn't important. I was a man in my prime marrying a young, beautiful woman. I wasn't Mephala-touched, wanting to lie with men. I'd never once doubted that when we came together on the wedding night, the desire would rise within me.

Until it hadn't.

"Is it me, then?" Almalexia continued, merciless. "If it is not simply that I am not male, is it specifically my body that disgusts you?"

"I'm not disgusted-" The retort was weak. Worse, despite wishing otherwise with every fiber of my being, it was a lie.

Almalexia knew it too. She didn't dignify it with any response other than a contemptuous snort.

"When you close your eyes," she went on, "do you imagine another woman in my place?"

No. I imagine a stone in mine.

A stone which had watched ages come and go, unchanged and uncaring. A stone to which the doings of us fleeting beings of flesh were of no import. Which would not be disgusted, not want to recoil, not so much as notice when it-

When someone-

-I couldn't possibly tell Almalexia that. The shame of this deficiency, this flaw I had spent five years failing to hammer out, was hard enough to admit to myself. I couldn't even imagine how I could put it into words that would do anything other than fan the flames of my wife's anger.

Anger she had a perfect right to.

"Almalexia," I said, voice wretched, "I'm sorry." How many times had I apologised for this by now? It must be beyond counting. "I'll try harder-"

Judging by the hiss she let out, this wasn't the right thing to say.

"Maybe, just maybe, I don't want a lover who has to try not to flinch when I touch him." I jerked back as her hand trailed over my chest. Was the demonstration really necessary? "Who has to try not to look as though he is being tortured when touching me in return. Maybe I want a lover who actually desires me without needing to try, Nerevar. Can you be that man?"

I didn't bother responding. We both knew the answer to that question.

The silence stretched out between us like a chasm. It was only broken by Almalexia's breaths, shallow and quick, as though we were in combat.

"Right," she finally said. "Right. This is what we're going to do." She straightened as she spoke, straight-backed with burning eyes, queenly in her rumpled nightclothes. In my opinion, Almalexia had always made for a more likely leader than me. "I will not have you in my bed until you can convince me that you want to be there. But you are still my husband, and I do not share. If I hear of you taking any other lovers, man or woman, I will be very displeased." She sucked in air, nostrils flaring. "Myself, however. I do not see why I should be doomed to lonely nights because my husband is failing in his duties. I reserve the right to discreetly take lovers who will treat me well."

A roaring filled my ears. It felt as though the world had shrunk until it consisted of Almalexia alone.

"All right," I heard myself say. "If that's what you think is best."

So focused on her, I saw immediately when Almalexia's face began to crumple. Realised – too late, always too late – that she hadn't, truly, wanted me to acquiesce. This had been her last gamble, hoping to finally rouse my lust through jealousy if nothing else. And now it had failed.

I could see tears start to gather in those dark-gold eyes. "Almalexia-"

I didn't know what I was going to say, but it didn't matter. Almalexia dashed the tears away with an angry swipe, her mouth twisting.

"Fine," she snarled, and was gone.

I fell back to lie on the bed as I listened to her footsteps recede. Despite myself, I could feel my mind drifting back to the first time I'd ever met Almalexia. Spear upraised, red hair escaping in wisps from under her helm, mouth open in a battle-cry as she directed her tribe to fall into our besiegers' backs – Sul had joked after that given the context I'd have found Namira lovely, but I'd thought her the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Beautiful like a stooping hawk, or a poisonous flower, or Red Mountain in the light of dawn – wild, untamed, and dangerous. Beauty to be admired from afar, not...

I still didn't understand why touching had to come into it at all.

Now I lay alone in a bed made for two, the empty half growing steadily colder. And cold it would remain. After five years enduring me struggle and fail to hold up my side of our marriage, Almalexia had finally given up.

As I could feel my own tears build, I tried so very hard to convince myself the emotion welling up with them wasn't relief.

*****


Notes: Writing is a funny thing. Sometimes you just zoom along with funny dialogue and banter, sometimes you try to go in-depth on bringing fantastical situations like mind control or regaining memories from a past incarnation to life...

And sometimes you set down your fingers on the keyboard and do the literary equivalent of vomiting up a decade-old ball of anger and bitterness onto the screen. kvleft.gif

I very much hope this was compelling for a reader who didn't have the experience of growing up ace in a society that didn't consider that an option. Nerevar's situation here hits so close to home for me that it's hard to judge.


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Kazaera
post May 16 2021, 09:58 AM
Post #544


Finder
Group Icon
Joined: 13-December 09
From: Germany



Last installment, Nerevar and Almalexia had an argument about sex, desire and spousal duties. Neither of them were particularly happy about it.

Now? Well, last we saw Adryn, she'd asked Ranis to be sent out into the trackless wilderness. Let's see how that worked out for her.

Chapter 23.2
*****


"Are we-"

"So help me, if the next words out of your mouth are 'there yet', I will not be responsible for my actions."

The Daedra poorly disguised as a pilgrim glared at me. "I've told you, I must be at Ghostgate within the next day!"

I wanted to grind my teeth so much, but refrained. If I gave in, I doubted I'd have any teeth left by the time we reached Ghostgate.

"Well, that sounds like quite the problem you have there." I did my best to keep my voice level. Screaming at the woman, although also tempting, was beneath me. "Dare I suggest that if it was truly so important, you should have hired an actual scout instead of accosting random strangers?"

The fiend who had come from Oblivion solely to drive innocent alchemists to despair looked thoughtful. For a brief, shining moment, I thought maybe that this time my words had had an impact. Then the scowl returned. "I have had enough of your dawdling!"

In one ear and out the other. "Seriously, what do I have to do to send you back to Coldharbour where you clearly belong..."

"What did you just say?"

Another point in favour of the already rock-solid Daedra theory: my voice had been barely more than a murmur, but she'd clearly heard me anyway. Inhuman hearing, it must be.

I didn't dignify Miss Probably-Secretly-A-Dremora with a response, instead making my way forward in the ash. Although part of me wanted to see what she'd do once her two-day deadline passed, ultimately sanity prevailed: the sooner we got to Ghostgate, the sooner she'd be some place well away from me.

...and the sooner I'd be able to figure out how to get back to civilization. In retrospect, I hadn't quite thought plan "hide from Habasi in the wilderness" through.

It had started off fairly well. Ranis had asked me to speak to one guild member delinquent on their guild dues and talk a mage who'd recently left the Telvanni into joining the guild. They both lived in the same region, something where I hadn't been sure whether it was lucky or unlucky. On the one hand, the fact that they were effectively neighbours meant I could visit both mer in a single trip. On the other hand, neighbours had the unpleasant tendency to talk. Complaints about the outrageously high membership dues probably weren't the best advertisement, and being right next door to an independent might make someone already annoyed with the guild wonder if they, too, might not do better unaffiliated. Add that to the fact that the places they both lived were old Velothi buildings in the ash-ridden, cliff racer-infested Molag Amur wilderness north of Lake Nabia, and I'd almost been tempted to try to back out somehow.

But there had been Ranis Athrys, and there had also been Habasi, and so I'd set out on the road to Lake Amaya with a pack full of potions and not a single word of protest.

Miraculously, I'd managed to find Sulipund and Punabi all right – the fact that I asked the Fighter's Guild scout guarding Masalinie for directions had probably helped, as well as the way I took to travelling with a cautious eye towards the sky. Even more miraculously, I'd succeeded in both my tasks. Apparently I still had a ways to go to properly understand the research mage mindset, because from all appearances the neighbours did not, in fact, talk.

Serjo Ex-Telvanni's initial annoyance at my intrusion had turned into growing interest as I explained the guild setup. Although his clarifying questions had left me rather disturbed (really, in how many different ways did he want me to explain that assassination was not an accepted method of advancement?) he'd seemed happy enough with my answers and said he'd look in on the guild the next time he was in Balmora. I figured that should be good enough for Ranis.

The dues dodger had been a harder sell, but here my past experience came into play. Quite a few members of the Windhelm guild had had a tendency to... forget... to pay their fence fees (I don't really know what else we were expecting, Charon had said drily) and all three of us had learned to deal with the problem.

In this case, I'd quickly worked out that my victim was all bark: oh, he'd blustered and threatened, but he had no intention of actually attacking a fellow guild member. In addition, the lock on his front door could really be considered more along the lines of an open invitation. This meant that there was nothing to stop me from explaining to him, at length, the ethical problems inherent in taking advantage of guild resources and training but then refusing to pay your share once you were successful. In order to make sure the man gave me his full attention, I'd picked my times wisely: just as he was entering the most delicate phase of his experiment... right when he needed to take the soup off the fire... in the middle of the night.

"Fine! Take the money! I'll even give you an extra fifty drakes if you promise never to come here again!"

I was sure I had no idea why he might feel that way.

All in all, I'd had a spring in my step as I left Punabi with the missing guild dues stowed safely beside my purse. I still was, to put it mildly, not keen on this new life as Ranis' dogsbody, but I had to admit it was a nice feeling to finally finish a task like this without... complications. Maybe it would make Ranis thaw a little towards me. With luck, enough that she'd listen to me when I suggested alternate employment options. And who knew, maybe Habasi would be occupied with other things by the time I got back? All in all, I thought, things were looking up.

This of course had been when the cliff-racer swarm attacked.

Which I might have been able to weather better if not for the berserk kagouti.

Or the Daedric ruin.

Or the tomb decidedly not occupied by my ancestors.

Or-

By the time I stumbled across the Imperial woman looking rather lost in the middle of the foyada, I was so happy to see a friendly face that I agreed to help her find her way to Ghostgate before my sense of caution could catch up. Alas, it turned out that my definition of "friendly face" had been a little too generous... that of "woman" as well, for that matter... but at that point it was too late.

"How much farther?" the fiend barked from behind.

"If you met with a mysterious accident out here, no judge could fault me," I muttered.

Not that I'd do something like that to someone whose only crime was being supernaturally obnoxious. Even if I was starting to grow nostalgic for that cliff racer swarm.

"I must reach Ghostgate within-"

All right, that was it.

I whirled around. "Would you just shut up already? You've been doing nothing but complain all day, and I'm sick of it! It's not like you're making the distance shrink any by whining about it!" My shout echoed off the walls of the foyada.

The woman-shaped being stared at me. For a long moment, I thought this offense would be enough for her to drop her unconvincing Imperial disguise. In the end, though, all she did was sniff.

"Well, I never."

For a moment, I just stood there frozen, my breath coming in pants. I'd been braced for resistance, more abuse, reactions all the way up to and including her turning into a dremora and moving forward to slaughter me. Having her simply fold like that left me off balance.

"Right," I said, then again, "right. Let's keep going, shall we?"

And so we continued on our way in silence. I'd have felt happier about it if not for the guilt now squirming in my stomach.

It wasn't like me to lose my temper like that. Oh, I'd been provoked, but all the same – I liked to think I was capable of voicing my displeasure in reasonable ways. Sarcasm. Witty comments. Cutting asides. Just shouting someone into submission was the last resort of those incapable of such tools, and should therefore be beneath me. Having done it now left me feeling oddly like a bully, which was quite something since I was fairly certain the only person being bullied in this situation was me.

The whole thing could probably be blamed on the fact that I'd once again woken badly out of sorts. I'd had the sneaking suspicion the pilgrim had tried to go through my belongings during the night. Oh, everything had still been where I'd left it, but it was the only explanation I could think of for how oddly, for lack of a better word, violated I'd felt on waking this morning. Clearly, while I was sleeping someone must have ruthlessly invaded my precious personal space, and there was only one contender around. I'd been left snappish, snarling, and generally an inch away from running away to High Hrothgar to become a Greybeard so I'd never have to speak to people again. The badly disguised Daedra's serious attempt at being the most annoying person in the universe certainly hadn't helped, but in the mood I'd woken up I might even have blown up at Ajira.

Damn it all, did I actually owe the fiend an apology? Every fiber of my body rebelled at the very idea.

Weren't there some rules about not showing weakness to Daedra, anyway?

It was with some amount of relief that when I next paused to consult my map, I realised we were actually nearing Ghostgate by now. Actually bringing her to her destination in the stated time limit would, I figured, serve as apology enough without me actually having to utter the terrifying words I'm sorry. It was nice to be able to arrange things to everyone's benefit like that.

Never to mention that the end of the fiend's complaining appeared to have left a vacuum that nature hastened to fill – in this case, via my legs. I did have full sympathy for them in that they had, in fact, been overworked to the point of abuse over the last few days. However, just as I'd told the pilgrim before, there was nothing to be done about it so there was really no point in moaning. Alas, judging by the sensations coming from my lower half my legs did not agree with this assessment. I'd have tried to bribe them into keeping their dissatisfaction to themselves through a longer break, but that would have set my Daedric companion off again. Really, Ghostgate couldn't come soon enough.

We should be able to see it over this next rise, if I was reading the height-lines correctly. I ignored my legs' protests and hastened my steps-

Stopped.

I'd noticed the strange double lines on my map before. Encircling the center of the island entirely, the symbol didn't appear anywhere else. Some form of road, I'd thought, but then again Ghostgate was the only settlement that lay on it.

I certainly hadn't imagined the sight that greeted me now.

Ahead of us was a wall of glowing, ever-shifting blue-white broken every hundred or so feet by stone pillars. The whole thing rose dozens of feet into the air – high enough I couldn't even make out the landscape behind it – and continued off to either side as far as I could see.

Did it actually go the entire way around Red Mountain? That was absolutely monumental-

To my side, I noted that my unwelcome companion was not looking fazed in any way, as though she saw giant glowing barrier-things hundreds of miles long every day. Well, perhaps she did – I certainly didn't have inside knowledge on the sort of architecture present in Oblivion. Still, it was enough to make my mouth snap shut and my legs start moving again. I refused to look like some- some easily impressed yokel in front of anyone, disguised Daedra or not.

Ahead, three buildings that reminded me very strongly of the ones in Vivec rose against the barrier. As we moved closer, I realised that although the domes to the left and right were built just in front of it, the tower in the middle actually extended into the glowing surface. An arched doorway leading to a heavy iron gate made me suspect I'd just found the only way through the thing.

Ghostgate.

And, of course, the Ghostfence. I'd heard the name before and wondered what it might be. Now able to compare my ideas to reality, I'd clearly been giving the native Dunmer too much credit for creativity as far as names were concerned – a fence made of ghosts had not in fact been my leading theory.

I couldn't help but notice that as we got closer to the barrier, a low resonating hum began to grow. The source must have been the Ghostfence – what else could it possibly be? – but you wouldn't know it from the feel; it felt directionless, as though it originated from my bones themselves. Accompanying it was the strangest sense of being watched.

Ghostfence. If I was any judge, I was looking at the greatest work of necromancy the world had ever seen – quite impressive for a land where the school was under the death penalty. More to the point, I had no idea how anyone in Ghostgate ever slept.

In addition to the large gate in the center of the tower, both domes had doors. I considered, then picked the left one because it was closer. At first, the false pilgrim followed me obediently, but when it became clear that I was not, in fact, heading for the passage through the Ghostfence she stopped.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I shot her a quelling look. "Ghostgate. As you requested."

Alas for me, she remained unquelled. "I must reach the Shrine of Pride by tomorrow-"

"Now hold on a moment here! You said Ghostgate. There was absolutely no mention of shrines whatsoever."

The Daedra glared. I glared back, all my earlier feelings of guilt buried under indignation. I hated people who tried to renege on the terms of a deal partway through. It was annoying. It was rude. It was unprofessional.

Judging by the way she wasn't backing down, my companion did not agree. "I would have thought it went without saying. What other reason would someone have to visit Ghostgate, after all?"

"I don't know, sightseeing?" Trying to understand the minds of Daedra could only lead to madness. I just barely had enough tact not to say that out loud. "I took you to the place which you asked, in actual words, to go to. If you wanted someone who could read your mind, you have the wrong mer. You also, incidentally, have the wrong mer if you wanted a guide to the Shrine of Pride, seeing as for that you need someone with an actual weapon and combat skills."

Ervesa had mentioned that the shrine was in the Red Mountain area inside the Ghostfence, and even if I hadn't already heard stories about the region, the mere fact that the inhabitants of the island had seen fit to seal it off with the Ghostfence in the first place was enough to give you pause. Suffice it to say that there was no way I was setting foot in there without backup.

The pilgrim's face twisted in rage. Was this the point where she would drop her unconvincing human disguise and go for my throat? It really said something about how much I'd suffered the past few days that I was almost looking forward to it.

"You-"

"She's right, you know," a voice interrupted us. "Seeing as we're not permitting any unaccompanied expeditions into the Red Mountain area right now."

I really needed to work on my situational awareness. True, the Daedra might have reached new pinnacles in the art of being incredibly obnoxious, but that was no excuse for completely missing the tower door opening, someone wandering out and leaning against the building listening to us argue. If he'd seen this, Charon would have disowned me.

The Dunmer in question was – I was pleased to note – currently occupied giving my companion a very unimpressed look. "Doing the Seven Graces, I take it? No one will authorize a trip today, but we do a check on the area every morning. Pilgrims are allowed to tag along, provided they behave." Apparently sensing danger brewing in my least favourite Daedra's expression, he added, "That's the only offer you're getting. Take it or walk back home, outlander."

The outlander in question hissed angrily (definitely not a human sort of noise – her disguise was so shoddy I was almost embarrassed for her), but miraculously subsided. None of the backtalk, arguing, or screeching I'd had to contend with was in evidence. In order not to get eaten alive by jealousy I quickly decided that clearly, the only reason she was giving way so easily now was that I'd managed to argue her into exhaustion over the course of the day.

"Can we stay the night, then?" I asked before this coveted but highly unusual and therefore not to be relied on period of silence from the Oblivion denizens among us could come to an end.

The man rolled his eyes as if the question was entirely ridiculous, which smarted. "No, we're planning to force you to sleep in the ash in front of the door. Of course you can stay the night! We're one of the main waystations for pilgrimages, and this is off-season in a bad year. You can probably each get a whole dorm to yourself."

I decided that if he could really make it so I didn't have to share with the Daedra again, I'd forgive him the condescension.

"Throw in food, and you have a deal," I told him.

*****


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Renee
post May 16 2021, 06:29 PM
Post #545


Councilor
Group Icon
Joined: 19-March 13
From: Ellicott City, Maryland



Whoa, I just started Sleeper In The Cave This is good stuff. Give me time to


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
ghastley
post May 17 2021, 01:54 AM
Post #546


Councilor
Group Icon
Joined: 13-December 10



I remember doing that quest. Once. I don't think any of my other Morrowind characters ever started it, after the first time.

And like Adryn's case, they were on the way to somewhere else, and it was a relief from cliffracers. ohmy.gif


--------------------
Mods for The Elder Scrolls single-player games, and I play ESO.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
macole
post May 17 2021, 06:45 AM
Post #547


Mouth
Group Icon
Joined: 10-January 20



QUOTE(Kazaera @ May 1 2021, 08:04 AM) *

Chapter 23.1
*****


Brings back so many memories of "sticking foot in mouth" and immediately regretting it. The emotions are screaming at me.


--------------------
Vampire Hunter,
Endure and through enduring grow strong.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
SubRosa
post May 17 2021, 10:32 PM
Post #548


Ancient
Group Icon
Joined: 14-March 10
From: Between The Worlds



Ok, I am caught up again. Wow, that was an excellent, gut-wrenching scene between Never and Almy. No one is really wrong. It is just that no one can really put to words to asexuality, or even comprehend it as a reality. It is hard to be something that your culture does not even acknowledge exists.

And I must say, it is wonderful to see a protagonist who is ace for a change. Most writers are not willing to acknowledge that such a thing exists either.


travelling with a cautious eye towards the sky
All Morrowind players know that that means!

So nice of Adryn to finish a task without complications. Except of course for all the... complications! laugh.gif

What a lovely experience she is having with that Pilgrim, who does not really seem to be a Daedra. But might as well be, given that she appears to have been placed in the world to vex Adryn.


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Kazaera
post May 23 2021, 04:32 PM
Post #549


Finder
Group Icon
Joined: 13-December 09
From: Germany



@Renee - oh wow, you're reading the whole thing from the start? blink.gif Um, good luck! I hope you enjoy! See you on the other side!

@ghastley - yes, I also took a special pleasure in walking past that woman on all future occasions. Adryn is funny when she's suffering, so she does not get to learn from my mistakes.

@macole - I assume this refers to the Nerevar-Almalexia scene? Not sure I'd view it as "foot in mouth" so much as "what's even worse than being married to someone with an incompatible sexual orientation is not understand that that's the case", but yeah - that was not a pleasant conversation for either of the two parties involved.

@SubRosa - thanks! That is really what I was going for with that scene - nobody is really in the wrong but everybody is hurting and there's no good outcome. If their cultural context were different they'd be able to have an honest conversation about what each party wants and figure out where to go from there (or, even better, have that conversation before they get married), but since they don't have a concept for asexuality they just don't have the tools they'd need for it. And so Almalexia and Nerevar find themselves on planet Everything Is Awful instead. sad.gif (So much agreement re: how hard it is to be something your culture doesn't acknowledge. Although I thankfully never ended up in Nerevar's situation, I still had a hard time as an ace teenager and twenty-something because of exactly that. Awareness and visibility is a thousand times better now than it was back then, which I'm infinitely grateful for.)

I admit making Adryn+Nerevar ace was an easy choice for me since I'm ace myself... up until now I've mainly gone the self-indulgent route where Adryn happily adventures through the lands ignoring the existence of sex completely, but in this chapter I decided to actually delve into the subject a little. There's a (thankfully less depressing) ace "plot" coming up with Adryn, too.

Last installment, we checked in on Adryn... who has found herself escorting a pilgrim to Ghostgate. At least, it looks like a pilgrim. Adryn is fairly convinced this is a Daedra in disguise, a claim she will support via choking noises, furious gestures and occasional shouts of "HER PERSONALITY!" We'll have to see if her theory is correct... but last we saw she'd been invited into Ghostgate, so the final reckoning might be delayed.

Chapter 23.3
*****


My mood improved when I stepped through the doorway into Ghostgate and the sensation of being watched died down to the slightest prickle. It got another boost when I discovered that yes, I would be able to spend the night blessedly, gloriously free of the more annoying Oblivion denizens amongst us. At that point, even my guide's warning that I might find myself having strange dreams – we are very close to the spirits of the Ghostgate here, sometimes the ancestors bless us with their presence – was easy to wave away. (It wasn't as if I remembered my dreams at all, these days – I was probably due for an odd one or two.) No, by the time I was esconced in the common area of the Tower of Dusk, off my feet, halfway through a bowl of stewed bittergreen and ash yam, I felt almost friendly towards the world.

Not least because the Daedra had made herself scarce soon after we entered. Maybe she was trying to break into the Red Mountain region on her own. I didn't care. I luxuriated in not caring. As far as I was concerned, the Armigers had taken over responsibility for her when we'd passed the threshold, and never had I so enjoyed the feeling of a person being someone else's problem.

Not that I'd wish her on the Armigers. It turned out that Ghostgate was one of their main headquarters, and so I'd finally gotten to meet others from Ervesa's order. Apparently her attitude was, in fact, typical. Everyone had been welcoming, friendly even, and not a single person had called me outlander so far. Given how my experiences with native Morrowind Dunmer usually went, I spent a few moments wondering whether I was hallucinating.

Perhaps it was a matter of the universe balancing itself out. If you took the average of an Armiger and an Ordinator, you probably ended up with a perfectly normal Dunmer.

In any case, I wasn't complaining. After days spent with an escapee from Oblivion as my only company, I was starved for pleasant conversation with real, actual people. It definitely helped that some of them were willing to spend time listening to me relate the woes of this latest involuntary adventure, oohing and aahing and making sympathetic noises at all the right moments.

Given the situation, it was hard not to let one's guard down. At least, that was my defense for how I'd somehow allowed myself to be talked into accompanying the expedition to the shrine the next morning.

I'd had no intention of doing so when I'd entered Ghostgate. Spending time in the common area had not, initially changed this – quite the contrary. I still had no idea what was inside the Ghostfence, but my evidence for it being something I had no desire to ever meet had increased. On top of the rumours and the existence of the Ghostfence in the first place which had led me to the conclusion originally, I could now lay the following fact: Ghostgate was not just heavily manned but clearly saw active combat on a regular basis. Over there a woman was repairing dents in her chitin armour, over here a man had his arm in a sling, the jagged gashes on his neighbour's face couldn't be older than a week, and – oh yes – the bar included not just mazte and sujamma but enough quality healing potions to put a hospital to shame. Given that Ghostgate was, in fact, an outpost in the furthest depths of the Ashlands far away from civilization of any sort, one had to wonder who – or, to be more precise, what – they were fighting.

Those gashes looked a lot like claw marks.

No, I'd decided, none of that for me. I'd spend the night here, but when the expedition set out come morning I'd be heading the opposite way.

Except that this resolution didn't survive long after I mentioned it. I remembered, distantly, Ervesa explaining how skill with words was considered one of the cornerstones of her order. At the time, I'd been focused on the poetry part, but clearly I should have paid more attention to the persuasiveness aspect. Maybe if I had, I'd have been better prepared to resist. As it was, somewhere between the exhortations of how much effort the forces at Ghostgate expended to keep the path clear and the explanations of how crucial making one's obeisance at the Shrine of Pride was to understanding the protection of Almsivi my resistance melted away like snow in summer. The critical argument had been that the Shrine of Pride was part of the Pilgrimage of the Seven Graces – in other words, the pilgrimage I'd told Ervesa I'd complete.

Well, I thought as I gave way, at least-

"Ervesa will be so happy to hear it!" the Armiger I'd privately dubbed Tattoos exclaimed, in a strange unknowing echo of my thoughts.

Wait a moment.

I hadn't mentioned Ervesa, had I?

"Ervesa?" It was almost certainly too late to pretend ignorance, but I wanted to leave my options open here.

The geometric patterns on Tattoos' forehead shifted as her eyebrows went up. "You are Adryn, aren't you? Ervesa's Adryn? The description was pretty unmistakeable."

A cough was trapped in my throat. I let it out with force as I tried to figure out what part to object to first – the fact that Ervesa was talking about me, in enough detail that I could be identified from it, or the description of me as Ervesa's. I'd never heard a possessive in front of my name before and I wasn't sure how to feel about it.

At Tattoos' side, her fellow Armiger Spikes (chosen over How On Nirn Does One Do That To Their Hair for the sake of brevity) nodded. "Girl new to the island who attracts more trouble than the next dozen combined, it all checks out." As I was opening my mouth in outrage, he added, "And there's the hair too. Don't see that shade of red often, especially not east of the Grazelands."

My mouth snapped shut. Ervesa's stories had gone to the level of physical description?

For some reason, I felt heat rise in my cheeks. Something in my stomach was fluttering strangely.

I wanted, I decided abruptly, for them to stop talking.

"I- yes, fine, you're right. I'm Ervesa's Adryn." The squirming sensation grew stronger at the sound of those words coming out my mouth. "Is she around, by the way? I remember her mentioning she'd be staying at Ghostgate for a while the last time I saw her."

"She is. She was on patrol this afternoon, should be back soon." Tattoos sighed. "It's a real shame. Normally, she'd spend all her wandering-years away from our strongholds – it's the whole point, learning to act independently – but we're stretched so thin at Ghostgate by now we've had to call even the juniors in to do rotations." The lines on her forehead shifted again, this time into a scowl. "Imagine how different things might be if, with all their military, the Imperials actually bothered to help. Instead of, you know, panicking and sealing off the whole damn island."

The scowl deepened, Tattoos' hand tightening on her mug of mazte. Very cautiously, I drew away. She'd emptied several as the afternoon wore into evening, and although the Dunmer could clearly hold her alcohol I'd noticed her loosening up. It hadn't been an issue so far, not with her in a good mood... but now said mood was turning, and that wasn't a good combination with lowered inhibitions.

I was just wondering whether it was time to make myself scarce when Spikes shoved at Tattoos' shoulder with a laugh. "What are you even saying, Drelyne? If the Legion turned up at Ghostgate saying they wanted to bunk down with us, you'd be the first to start the mutiny!"

Tattoos' forehead smoothed. "I... can't actually argue with that."

"It's for the best, I tell you. And Ervesa being around is lucky for Adryn here, too." Spike grinned at me. "Luckier there's hardly any other pilgrims staying, so we got you a room all to yourself. Not that Drelyne here wouldn't clear out if Ervesa asked, but it's nicer this way, isn't it?"

Being who I was, it took me a second to understand the implication. I wasn't sure if I would have, if Spikes hadn't winked at me.

My cheeks began to blaze, and this time I definitely knew why.

"'Wait, that's not what we're-"

"Oh, there's no need to be shy about it," Tattoos interrupted. "I know other places might make it out to be shameful, but it's the most natural thing in the world. You can be open about it here." Her tone was almost motherly, which – given the topic of conversation – was just too wrong for words.

"No, there's- there's definitely been a misunderstanding here!" My voice was getting desperate.

"Really?" That degree of skepticism was downright uncalled for. The hint of a smug smile I saw tugging at Spikes' lips doubly so. "That's not how your girlfriend's been telling it."

Everything stopped.

"What?"

Distantly, I noted that my voice appeared to have grown several octaves. Well, now I knew what to do if I ever needed to shatter glass – simply have someone claim...

It couldn't be true. It just couldn't.

Spikes was still smiling. I'd never wanted to remove an expression from someone's face through the medium of excessive violence quite so much before. "Oh? If you think differently, why don't you tell her that?"

I looked up, and indeed – as if summoned by us talking about her, Ervesa was standing in the doorway. She must've only just got back, because her shirt was rumpled, her bangs plastered to her forehead with sweat, and she hadn't put her earrings back in yet. Her eyes were wide as they rested on me.

"Adryn! What are you doing here, I hadn't expected to see... you..."

Coming closer, she must have been able to better make out the expression on my face. At least, that was how I explained the way her voice trailed off and her smile sickened, shrank, and finally slid off her face entirely.

"Ervesa. What a... nice surprise. I think we need to talk."

*****


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
SubRosa
post May 26 2021, 12:00 AM
Post #550


Ancient
Group Icon
Joined: 14-March 10
From: Between The Worlds



It looks like the Ghostgate Armigers are accustomed enough to pilgrims from far-flug locales that they have shed the need to refer to them as "n'wah", at least to their faces.

Can you refresh my memory? Aren't Armigers also the people who hunt down heretics and imprison them in the floating moon rock? Or is that the Ordinators? And why are the Armigers Bouyant? Do they float?

"Girl new to the island who attracts more trouble than the next dozen combined, it all checks out."
Well, that can only be one person I can think of! laugh.gif

Oh look Adryn's girlfriend is back! This is going to be an interesting talk.


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Kazaera
post May 30 2021, 01:03 PM
Post #551


Finder
Group Icon
Joined: 13-December 09
From: Germany



@SubRosa - The Armigers are also a branch of Temple military, but they're generally a lot friendlier than the Ordinators when you run into them. In-game, you mainly encounter them at Ghostgate and Molag Mar, and they seem to be busy attempting to keep Dagoth Ur contained and having poetry battles with the Imperial Legion. Lorewise, they're sworn to Vivec as opposed to the Ordinators' Almalexia and seem to function as knights-errant/heroic adventurers/etc.

So hunting heretics is more the Ordinators' realm overall! In Adrynverse I would not, however, go so far as to say that they're completely uninvolved, especially when it comes to the Nerevarine where we've already seen that Vivec has a... special interest... in the matter. wacko.gif

The "buoyant" bit seems to be because they were pretty cheerful when Vivec founded their order! Although Adryn, too, wondered whether they float when she first met Ervesa biggrin.gif.

Last installment, Adryn relaxed at Ghostgate and got to know some of Ervesa's comrades-in-arms. Everything was going fairly smoothly until the conversation turned to Ervesa and Adryn discovered that said comrades-in-arms appear to be under the impression that she and Adryn are dating... an impression, from the sounds of it, supported by Ervesa herself. Luckily (?), Ervesa herself turned up at that point. Adryn is intent on getting some answers...

Important: This part is less brutal than the Nerevar flashback but covers similar material and similar warnings apply.

Chapter 23.4
*****


It was only after I'd shut the door firmly behind us that I realised that immediately grabbing Ervesa in front of witnesses and dashing off to the room where I, and I alone, was staying tonight would not in any way serve to douse the rumours being spread about me. In fact, it qualified as pouring oil on the fire. I grit my teeth and decided to ignore that fact for now. From the sounds of it, I'd have a hard time dissuading anyone there right now, and it was really far more important to figure out what Ervesa thought she was playing at.

Speaking of.

"Care to explain?" My voice could have frozen an ice wraith solid.

Ervesa had dropped to sit on the edge of the narrow bed nearest the door, her shoulders slumped and face downturned. Now, she raised her head to look up at where I was standing, bearing an expression of such abject misery that I might have been tempted to take pity on her if I'd been just a little less angry.

"Look, I- I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd meet any of them, figured there'd be no harm in letting them think..."

"That we were sleeping together?" Under the anger, I realised, was a sense of growing betrayal. Ervesa was the one person I'd met who agreed with me on the worth, or rather lack thereof, of such activities. The one person standing at my shoulder even as the rest of the world told me there was something wrong with me. Having her take their side like this smarted. "Which you lied to them about?"

"I didn't lie! Just..." Ervesa squirmed. "Didn't correct their misconceptions."

Perhaps in some other situation, speaking about some other topic, that distinction would have mattered to me. Right now, it did nothing to calm the ball of snakes writhing in my stomach.

"Why?" The word burst out of me unbidden. I wanted to believe it sounded angry, demanding, but had a hard time denying that there was a definite plaintive edge to it.

Ervesa heaved a sigh, stirring the air in the small room. "All right. I'll explain, just... would you sit? This might take a while, and I'm going to get a crick in my neck if I have to keep staring up at you."

For a moment I considered insisting that no, I'd rather stand. My feet put paid to that plan, as they chose to remind me that I'd been walking all day, with far fewer breaks than I'd have liked, and although they were sure I had good reasons to want to be childishly contrary, they had nevertheless liked sitting in the common room and were highly displeased I'd cut that activity short. If I didn't get off them soon, they would absolutely make their displeasure my problem.

"Fine," I snapped and joined Ervesa on the edge of the bed. I pointedly chose to sit at the very corner, keeping as much distance between us as I could. Judging by her wince, the message was received. "I'm listening."

"The first Armigers were Vivec's companions in all things. They were at his side in battle, at the feast-hall, in dance and song... and, often, in bed."

Ervesa paused. When I glanced her way, she wasn't looking at me. Instead, her eyes were fixed on her hands, lying on her lap with her fingers laced together so tightly the knuckles were white.

"Captain Voruse said that Vivec has not taken an Armiger as a lover in many years. But... it happened so often, for so long, that it became part of what it means to be in our Order."

"What, sleeping with your god?" This was a side of living gods I'd frankly never considered before. And if I'd thought about it, I would've almost certainly assumed that anything claiming to be a superior being was smart enough to avoid all that nonsense.

Assumed wrongly, apparently.

All of a sudden, the Nine Divines seemed far more attractive than before.

Ervesa gave a helpless shrug. "More... general than that. Seduction, casual relationships – sex. It's as much part of being an Armiger as poetry and blades, they'll tell you."

Slowly, things were coming together. "But you didn't want it."

"Of course I didn't!" I flinched as Ervesa raised her voice. "I was never interested, never understood what the point was supposed to be. They said I'd change my mind as I got older, then told me I must be wrong about my feelings when I didn't. And when I started training as an Armiger – you know, they were so insistent I decided they must be right? That clearly I must want it, so deep down I'd never consciously realised. So the next time a fellow trainee propositioned me, I took him up on it."

I'd never seen Ervesa like this before. So small, hunched in on herself, head bowed, shoulders trembling. I was angry at her, I knew – angry for good reason, too – but right now the emotion seemed far away and hard to grasp. That story was too familiar, resonating all too well somewhere deep within me. Made me remember myself, years ago, deciding that if the rest of the world wasn't going to respect my stance on sex I'd return the favour.

Although I, unlike Ervesa, had never given in to the pressure.

(A gold-skinned woman clad in a plain white robe, mouth set, eyes blazing-

Hadn't I?)

"How was it?" I couldn't help asking, spurred by something sharper, more bitter than curiosity.

Ervesa raised her head to look at me. "Awful. Hated every moment of it. He was so insulted." Her eyes were wet, but a wry smile tugged at her lips all the same. Then it faded. "See, I tried it. Now you don't have to."

Don't make my mistakes, I heard.

("Maybe I don't want a lover who has to try not to flinch when I touch him-")

The strange feeling of violation I'd woken up with was back, stronger this time, leaving my skin crawling. I wrapped my arms tightly around my middle, as though if I just squeezed hard enough I could protect myself from-

From-

I didn't know. All I knew was that for all that I was feeling more sympathetic towards Ervesa than when I'd come in, it was good that we were sitting some distance apart. Because if anyone touched me right now, I'd try to claw their face off.

Ervesa didn't seem to notice. She still wasn't looking at me, her gaze fixed on the opposite wall. "After that, they decided I must only be interested in women. That's considered... acceptable, among the Armigers. They backed off for a while, said they wanted to give me time to come to terms with it. A 'difficult realisation', they called it."

Ervesa was fixed in my mind as always smiling, always ready with a joke and a laugh. I'd always known there was more to her than that, but I'd still never imagined she could sound this bitter.

"Recently it started to become clear that they thought I'd had enough time. So, when we met... when I told my comrades about this stubborn alchemist I kept rescuing from her own heroics," her lips pulled into a wry grin, "and they jumped to conclusions..."

"You let them."

"I let them," Ervesa repeated with an exhausted sigh. "It was just... too easy to go with it. I figured you'd never meet them, and that... since you weren't interested in anything like that either, it wasn't as if I'd be ruining your chances with anyone..." She bit her lip. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it without asking you first."

No, she shouldn't have.

And even after her explanation... I understood, but at the same time I didn't understand.

"But why not stand up for yourself?" I asked her. "I mean, doing it like this – you'd have to pretend, and keep on pretending, and all the while they get to think they're right. Surely it'd be so much easier to just tell them they're being idiots about the whole thing?"

Ervesa laughed. For the first time since the conversation had started, she turned to look straight at me. "That's because you're a lot braver than I am."

"Come again?" There was no way I'd heard that correctly. "I have to point out that one of us in this room is a holy warrior who goes risking her life against dangerous beasts, mind-controlling statues and that sort of thing on a daily basis. And we both know which of us it is."

Ervesa waved this off. "That doesn't count, that's just- just duty. Just fighting. That's easy. It's a lot harder to stand up to people, especially people you respect. You're never afraid to say what you think, even if it means disagreeing with your friends, or people in authority. It's something I admire a lot about you." She was, as far as I could tell, being entirely sincere. I squirmed as I felt my cheeks heat up. "I've always struggled with it myself. I mean, how I joined the Temple alone..."

All right, on the one hand, we really needed to finish the conversation we were having. On the other, she could hardly dangle something like that in front of me and expect me not to react. It would be downright unnatural.

"Oh? How did you join the Temple?"

Judging by the way Ervesa seized on the change of subject, she did not agree with me that our discussion wasn't finished. Ah, well, I could let her have a bit of a break.

I very decidedly did not let myself think that I might need one too.

*****


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Renee
post May 30 2021, 03:06 PM
Post #552


Councilor
Group Icon
Joined: 19-March 13
From: Ellicott City, Maryland



QUOTE(Kazaera @ May 23 2021, 11:32 AM) *

@Renee - oh wow, you're reading the whole thing from the start? blink.gif Um, good luck! I hope you enjoy! See you on the other side!

Not the very start, but I read the chapter before last one. smile.gif I was writing a reply but got distracted that day. I am about to start a Nerervarine playthrough of my own, so I got interested because I've never done Morrowind's Main Quest before.

Okay, it seems they are arguing about something here.

QUOTE
"What, sleeping with your god?"


Whoa!

So there is Ervesa. What is the main protagonist's name?



--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
SubRosa
post May 31 2021, 08:47 AM
Post #553


Ancient
Group Icon
Joined: 14-March 10
From: Between The Worlds



Renee: Adryn is the protagonist. And sort of Nerevar, since she is reliving his memories, being the Nerevarine and all.


I am smiling as Adryin realizes that running off alone with Ervesa is feeding the fiction of her romantic entanglements. Doh!

Right now, it did nothing to calm the ball of snakes writhing in my stomach.
This was a lovely descriptive.

Wow, I am with Adryn. The Nine Divines are looking a lot better right now. The Tribunal suddenly feel a lot less like gods on Nirn, and more like cult leaders. I guess the difference is pretty fine. But banging your followers really goes over the edge.

Poor Ervesa, I think she is in the wrong profession. The Armigers are expecting more than she can give. I can certainly understand why she would lead them on about her non-relationship with Adryn. As she explained, she would not be cramping Adryn's action with someone else, and it got them off her back. But eventually her situation is going to become unbearable.

Oooh, lets dangle some origin stories please! Tell us more Ervesa!


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Kazaera
post Jun 6 2021, 11:38 AM
Post #554


Finder
Group Icon
Joined: 13-December 09
From: Germany



@Renee - ah, OK! Fingers crossed starting the story midway works, since there's a lot of context I won't be explaining. Also: since Adryn is a noncombatant I'm taking a lot of creative liberty with Morrowind quests, and I'm also doing a lot with the reincarnation plotline that's not in the game. So although this will definitely give you insight on Morrowind as a game, expect things to be different.

Like SubRosa said, the protagonist is Adryn, as per the game she's Nerevar's reincarnation. Earlier chapters made clear that the intermittent Nerevar flashbacks are in fact dreams she's having, which she forgets as soon as she wakes up but which have been shown to be influencing her subconsciously.

@SubRosa - yeah sad.gif The Buoyant Armigers have a particular culture of open sexuality and casual sex that doesn't work for Ervesa at all. It's the attitude of "sex is great and a natural part of being human and shouldn't be restricted! what do you mean, you don't want it? are you repressed? are you psychologically damaged? we must unearth your true desire for sex For Your Own Good" which I've run into before and which can be really toxic for ace people (among others). And I am fairly sure that Vivec/Armigers is actually canon somewhere in the Sermons of Vivec? In-verse I think it's been a long, long time since he's gone there, but... yeah.

Ervesa's solution isn't ideal by any means, but I do sympathise with how she ended up there. We'll see a little more on her history and thought process this installment.

Last installment, Adryn confronted Ervesa about pretending to the rest of the Armigers that they were in a relationship. We learned that there's an unspoken norm for Armigers to be sexually active which Ervesa has run afoul of before, and that she saw a way out from the pressure she was under by letting her colleagues believe she and Adryn were together. Adryn didn't get why she didn't just tell them off. Ervesa is about to give some extra context... aka: Ervesa origin story starting now. biggrin.gif

Chapter 23.5
*****


"I wanted to become an Armiger ever since I was very young. My parents... there was..." Ervesa's lips pressed together. "The details don't matter. What's important is that as a child, I had to use an Intervention Scroll which led to me ending up alone in Molag Mar for several weeks. The Armigers' main base was there, and they were very kind and helpful to a lost, frightened girl. They were the ones who contacted my aunts and grandmother, after -" Ervesa cut herself off. "Well. Let's just say I was very grateful, and he- they left a real impression."

Ervesa had left out enough that the whole thing was more hole than story, but I could piece together some of the gaps. Something terrible had happened to Ervesa's family when she was young, something that had ended in her escape to the nearest Temple – alone, the sole survivor of whatever disaster had struck. The Armigers – or perhaps one in particular? I hadn't missed the brief slip into singular – had rescued her, taken her in, been kind to her, soothed the traumatised child she would have been. All too easy, for hero worship to grow.

Not that I knew about that part from experience, or anything.

"That made you want to join the Armigers?" I prompted, pushing aside the memory of tall figures striding off into the distance.

Ervesa smiled, a soft, far-away expression. Whatever she was seeing, I didn't think it was in this room. "Exactly. I wanted to be strong, and brave, and able to help people the way h- they'd helped me. It was as though Almsivi themselves had come to show me what I was meant to do with my life. There was nothing anyone could do to move me... much to my grandmother's displeasure."

"Displeasure?" I repeated, wondering if I'd misunderstood. What I'd gathered of Morrowind culture so far was that Armigers were seen as heroes, that any family would be proud to have one in their ranks. What Ervesa was telling me now didn't match up... which was deeply worrying. It was one thing not to understand the local culture – it was another not to realise I didn't.

"Yes. My whole family was horrified, really, my grandmother was just the most vocal." Ervesa's smile twisted. "Hardly a surprise. Telvanni aren't exactly known for their devotion to the Temple."

I choked. I hadn't even been drinking anything, but when the surprise is great enough little things like that cease to matter; I choked on air.

"Adryn? Are you all right?"

I managed to get my coughing under control. "You. Telvanni? You-"

It wasn't enough for shock to sabotage my breathing, it seemed. No, it was greedy enough to move on to my capacity for language as well. At least, I found my mind utterly blank when I cast about for words that would express the many ways, shapes and forms in which Ervesa did not match what I'd learned about Telvanni. My vocabulary deserting me, I resorted to gesturing instead. Perhaps if I did it frantically enough, I'd manage to get the meaning across through sheer effort.

"I guess I don't exactly fit your mental image of one, do I?"

It appeared that frantic gesturing was, in fact, a viable means of communication in extreme situations. Maybe something about the air displacement? In any case, a fact worth noting for future use.

"This is actually something a lot of... people new to Morrowind, or who don't generally have to do with the Great Houses... get wrong about them," Ervesa explained. I could feel the word outlander lurking in those pauses. At least she was polite enough not to say it out loud. "There's the classic stereotype I know you've heard – Redoran warriors, Hlaalu merchants, Telvanni wizards. A lot of people don't realise it is a stereotype."

I frowned. Athyn Sarethi's face swam in front of me. "All the Redoran I've met so far seem to match it well enough."

"Oh, there's definitely truth to it. It describes the... ideal of the House, if you will. Especially at the higher ranks, there's going to be a lot of pressure to live up to it, and those who don't aren't likely to be successful within it. Try finding a Telvanni past Retainer who isn't a mage. But there's a lot more to a House than the leaders and nobles. Half the population of Ald'ruhn is Redoran – you really think they're all warriors?"

I had to admit that made sense. "So you're saying that the Great Houses are larger than most of us – newcomers, shall we say – think, and once you look past the leadership positions you'll find people who don't fit the classic mold." This shone a new light onto Athyn Sarethi's offer to join Redoran. "Like a Telvanni who joins the Buoyant Armigers."

"Exactly. But you're right that it's rare. Not all Telvanni are mages, but the Temple is unpopular in all the House. My family was appalled when I told them I wanted to join, after. I went to live with my aunt in Vivec but she wouldn't hear a word of it, kept trying to convince me otherwise..." Ervesa shrugged. "I hate arguing with people. Always have. It was easier to just keep quiet, let her think she'd won. I was going to tell her when I was accepted for Armiger training, but then the day came and..." She reached up to fiddle with one of her braids, eyes on the floor, cheeks darkening to purple. "I just. Left a note."

"A note." I repeated flatly.

"Yes." Ervesa squirmed. "I knew it was just going to end in a fight, that she wouldn't understand, that I wouldn't change my mind. I figured, why put the both of us through that?"

I'd always figured Ervesa for somewhat older than me, the extra few years speaking not so much through her appearance as through her confidence, her certainty in her actions. Now, for the first time, she seemed younger, like a child awaiting a scolding. It was disconcerting.

I didn't have much experience with family, to put it mildly. All the same, I was reasonably sure running away from home without even saying goodbye was not the typical way these things were done. Especially since from the sounds of it Ervesa hadn't been expecting her aunt to forcibly stop her, just-

"Just because you wanted to avoid an argument?" I asked, incredulous.

"...yes." For the first time in a while, Ervesa met my eyes. There was a wry twist to her mouth. "You don't have to tell me, I've heard it all before. But... that's why I say you're braver than me."

I opened my mouth. Closed it again.

I should – say something, in response to that. Something that would make Ervesa understand how ridiculous she was being, how you didn't need courage to argue with people, how she was only causing problems for herself-

When I searched for the words, though, all I found was a wave of exhaustion crashing over me.

"You know what," I told the wall, "I've had a very long day. Dealing with secret Daedra. Getting deafened by magical fences. Discovering long-running affairs I have apparently been participating in. I am officially declaring myself too tired for this conversation."

From the corner of my eye I spotted relief suffusing Ervesa's face, and- no, that wasn't how I'd meant it. I couldn't let her think I approved of her avoidance of uncomfortable conversations, definitely not to the point where I'd use the same strategies myself.

"Which isn't to say that you're getting out of it!" I hastened to add. "We're continuing it as soon as I'm rested. First thing in the morning."

"Of course, Adryn," Ervesa answered, tone sincere enough I squinted at her suspiciously. "I'll just let you rest for now, shall I?"

The question was obviously rhetorical, Ervesa already rising from the bed before she'd finished speaking. Still, there was a moment there. Seconds of silence in which Ervesa brushed herself off, tossed her braids over her shoulder, and walked to the door. The perfect opportunity, in other words, to say yes, but when you leave, tell your friends that we are not together. I insist.

Except that I didn't. I simply sat there, frozen, the words stuck in my throat, trapped behind my tongue as though my mouth was too small for them.

"I... I really am sorry," Ervesa whispered just before the door shut behind her.

With her gone, my paralysis lifted. I sucked in air, the sound loud in the empty room. It felt like the first full breath I'd taken in hours.

Which would definitely be a possible cause for why my head was spinning. A nice, neat explanation. Shame it wasn't actually why.

What had just happened?

Why hadn't I insisted Ervesa explain-

Ervesa.

The things I'd learned about her today, this strange fear of disagreeing with people, were difficult to reconcile with the girl I knew. The one who fearlessly strode into dangerous situations, had rescued me time and again, who cheated at cards and made jokes and had never called me outlander. Ervesa had been a mainstay of my life on Vvardenfell almost since my arrival, brave – definitely the braver of the two of us, no matter what she might say – and strong and funny and pretty-

My thoughts came to a screeching halt.

Pretty?

She was, of course, but that wasn't something I noticed, something I paid attention to-

Or perhaps the more accurate way to phrase that would be hadn't been.

"Oh no," I whispered aloud as, with dawning indignation, the realisation swept over me.

I had a crush on Ervesa.

For how long, I didn't know. The thing had snuck up on me. It had been clever that way, I grudgingly admitted. If it had chosen the straightforward route, if I'd found myself thinking oh, I think I like her after the time Ervesa rescued me from the kagouti, I would definitely have noticed such an embarrassing turn of thought and crushed the nascent feelings before they had a chance to grow. Instead, it had been stealthy, staying well in my subconscious until its ambush now, when it was too deeply rooted to excise.

"Oh no-"

But – how was this even possible?

I'd never had a crush before nor expected one. Crushes, I knew, came hand-in-hand with romance which came hand-in-hand with precisely the activity I was completely uninterested in, had in fact bonded with Ervesa (the irony!) over not being interested in. Unless-

A block of ice was forming in my stomach.

Unless Charon had been right?

When he'd suggested that my lack of interest was in fact a lack of interest pertaining to men, that I was repressing my true desire for women, I'd been furious. Insulted, at the way he claimed to know my own emotions better than I did. I'd refused to speak to him until he apologised, and the resentment hadn't dissipated for even longer. A fragment of it had remained, a tiny splinter of hurt coming from the fact that once upon a time, I'd told him about something important and he'd refused to believe me. I'd done my best not to show it, told myself over and over that he'd apologised, but it had clung to my heart until-

Until there was no Charon to be angry at anymore.

If it turned out he'd been right all along...

Very carefully, as though probing my body for serious injury after a bad fall, I forced myself to imagine it. Ervesa and me, naked, entwined, touching-

My stomach informed me that it had been happily occupied digesting the meal I'd eaten earlier, but if I insisted it could, of course, expel everything it currently contained with extreme prejudice.

Vindicated, I let the images go. No, Charon had been wrong. Man or woman, crush or no, I still wanted to keep those parts of my body firmly to myself.

Which, of course, raised the question – if not that, what, exactly, was it I did want from Ervesa?

Was it even accurate to say I had a crush? I liked Ervesa. I admired her, I wanted to impress her, I wanted to spend time with her. I also thought she was pretty, and that fact seemed more... obtrusive, more relevant, than my aesthetic judgements usually did. But I didn't want to do anything physical with her. Not sex, not kissing.

I might, I thought, be able to bring myself to hug her. Maybe. On an occasional basis. Or perhaps it would be better to leave it at holding hands?

No, the Adryn personal space bubble was very much intact.

Did I maybe just want to be her friend?

That didn't feel right either. The whole thing was too sudden, too intense, too different from how I felt for Ajira or Jamie. Those emotions felt like a natural outgrowth of our interactions, this felt more as though a part of my mind had been turned into a compass pointing at Ervesa without my knowledge or consent. And I'd certainly never looked at either of them thinking they were pretty.

But if it wasn't friendship, then I must want to-

Except I didn't want to-

A dull throb of pain at my temples cut me off. This headache wasn't like the ones I'd been struggling with of late. Instead, I decided, it was clearly self-defense. I was exhausted, reeling from one too many emotional conversations and realisations, and my mind was going in circles. What I'd told Ervesa earlier held true here as well – it would be far better to continue this in the morning.

Wait.

What I'd told Ervesa earlier...

Dagon's mercy. I'd promised to continue our conversation from earlier.

Which meant talking to Ervesa. About her letting everyone think we were lovers. With this realization swirling through my head.

Maybe the spirits of the Ghostfence would have mercy on me and kill me in my sleep.

*****
End of chapter


Notes: ...RIP Adryn's denial?

I like to think I've planted some seeds for this, and I know people in the comments on AO3 have picked up on me dangling Ervesa as a possible love interest. Alas for anyone hoping for them to get together, not only is this a less-than-great starting point, being ace with a crush and no alternate relationship models around can in fact be really confusing. Adryn is not planning to confess as long as she doesn't know what it is she is confessing, and given that she doesn't even have any sensible framework for asexuality, let alone the concept of romantic orientation, that could take a while.

Also: say hello to Ervesa the Telvanni! This has been part of my conception of her character from the start - a little nod to the complexity of the House setup and how not every member will fit the mould, plus a little dig at the in-game PC exceptionalism. Why shouldn't NPCs be able to be a member of multiple factions too, after all? biggrin.gif


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
SubRosa
post Jun 7 2021, 08:05 AM
Post #555


Ancient
Group Icon
Joined: 14-March 10
From: Between The Worlds



Wow, I had no idea Ervesa was a Telvanni either. I guess that explains why her family was not thrilled with her new-found buoyancy.

I really liked Ervesa's backstory. Well, what there was around that hole. You really humanized (elfanized?) her, with her family issues, and her desire to avoid further acrimony with them. That is everyone's Thanksgiving Dinner right there.

Oh goodness, Adryn has a crush? Well, she picked a good one with Ervesa at least. Well, except for the whole ace cards they have both been dealt. Looks like Adryn is going to have some issues to deal with in the future. A whole subscription of them I bet!


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Kazaera
post Oct 10 2021, 03:00 PM
Post #556


Finder
Group Icon
Joined: 13-December 09
From: Germany



Aaand I'm back! After some serious wrestling with this chapter - not only did it decide it wanted a completely different start when I'd already started writing it but some of the Adryn scenes were difficult to write (I think she's sulking about the crush). But I got it to submit in the end! *\o/*

Belated @SubRosa - thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed! Ervesa's past has been planned for a while - it actually started as me going "why does only the PC get to be a member of multiple factions?" but quickly grew beyond that, lol. And yeah, that crush is going to be tough on Adryn, especially since she has to figure out how it works with the asexuality and all!

Last chapter, Adryn escorted a very rude pilgrim, or possibly Daedra in disguise, to Ghostgate. On reaching the place, she discovered that Ervesa had been claiming the two of them were in a relationship. A long discussion with Ervesa followed, wherein Adryn's attempt to tell her off properly was thwarted by both her sympathy for Ervesa's situation and her horrified realisation that she had a crush on the other woman. We'll see how she's dealing with that...

...but first, Adryn needs to sleep, and dream.

Chapter 24.1
*****


The urn was heavy in my arms, and big enough it was awkward to hold. I bit my lip and forced my arms to grip harder. It could be twice as heavy and twice as big, I told myself, and I still wouldn't drop it. I wouldn't let myself.

"All right there, Nerevar? I can carry her for you," Sul offered from beside me.

I shook my head firmly. In my opinion, my cousin was the bravest, cleverest, most wonderful person in the whole world, and normally I'd have done what he said without a second thought...

...but this wasn't normally.

"I'll do it. She'll be stronger then, right?" I asked the other person who'd accompanied me.

The Wise Woman nodded. "It will be good for your mother's spirit, if she is taken to her final resting place by her son. She will be faster to gather herself, faster to gain the strength she needs to pierce the veil. Perhaps by your children or grandchildren's day, she will be able to watch over them as a guardian."

"Right! It's better this way, see?" I tried to give Sul a smile, but my mouth wouldn't move right. I wasn't very good at smiling these days.

Sul didn't answer. His eyes were narrowed, squinting at me suspiciously, as though he knew what was going through my head. Maybe he did. Sul was too good at reading my mind. It wasn't fair.

A lot of things hadn't been fair recently.

Like the fact that everyone kept saying I wouldn't see my mother ever again. And- I wasn't a baby, I knew what dead meant, I knew she wasn't going to just walk back into the yurt one day, but-

But Mother was so strong, the strongest of our hunters, surely that had to mean she was strong as a spirit too? The Wise Woman said that she would be too weak to manifest as an ancestral guardian for years and years and years, but I couldn't believe it. Mother had never left me alone like that before. She wouldn't do it now, she wouldn't.

And the Wise Woman also kept talking about the things I could do to strengthen her. She said that it wouldn't make things that much faster, but- but maybe nobody had ever done everything right before. Maybe if I just tried hard enough, prayed enough, it would give Mother the strength she needed.

Maybe if I was perfect I'd get to see her again.

Now Sul was looking worried. "Nerevar-"

I didn't want to hear what Sul was going to say next. Ignoring him, I turned around, shifted the urn in my arms, and walked into the tomb.

Step by step, I made my way into the dark, teeth gritted against the strain. To distract myself, I silently rehearsed the phrase the Wise Woman had taught me. I couldn't get a single word wrong, I reminded myself. I had to be perfect.

Honoured ancestors, I bring Indoril Suveyna to join you. May you welcome her into-

Between one step and the next, reality tore.

I fell to my knees, my head ringing. It was as though I'd been walking across thin ice thinking it was solid ground, and it had finally given way to plunge me into frigid waters.

Slowly, the ringing subsided. I looked up to take stock.

First, and most obviously, I wasn't in our ancestral tomb anymore. The dim magelights were gone, the urns, the altar, even the stairs and the walls. All that remained was the dark, stretching on endlessly.

I also wasn't alone.

There were lots of people all around me. Dozens and dozens, even more than I'd seen at the tribes-moot when I was still little. They looked strange, too. All of them were glowing a bit, their clothes were weird, and their skin was grey, like they were covered in ash. Even stranger, their eyes were red! I could tell even though they weren't that close, because all of them were staring at me.

I gulped.

Maybe... maybe this was supposed to happen? The Wise Woman hadn't said anything about it, and neither had Sul, but maybe they hadn't thought to mention it. Maybe everyone knew that the tomb vanished inside and the ancestors were strange colours. Maybe this was normal.

And if it was, I wasn't doing it right. I only had the one chance, I had to strengthen Mother's spirit. I opened my mouth-

At that point, I realised something that should should should have been the very first thing I noticed:

I'd lost the urn.

I was about to panic when a voice interrupted me.

"Honoured ancestor, we greet you
We, your clan who hold you true
Beg you listen to us in our need
For all may be lost if you do not pay heed.
"

I stared.

The woman who'd approached me was as grey-skinned and red-eyed as all the others, clad in strange glittering green armour carved with geometric designs. More to the point, as far as I could tell at the start of all that poetry she'd called me honoured ancestor, and that was definitely the wrong way around.

There was probably some ritual for greeting an ancestor who was hopelessly confused, but if so no one had thought I'd need to know it. Just blurting out "what?" was almost certainly wrong, but the word escaped me anyway.

The woman blinked. Her eyes, which had been fixed on a point above my head, trailed down until they actually met mine. It was as though she'd been expecting someone much taller in my place.

"All right, that is... not helpful. Although I should probably have expected something like this, cursed dream-speech." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Honoured ancestor, I beg pardon for my insolence, but I do actually need to speak with you about something in the present. Would you do your humble descendant the great favour of growing up a little?"

Were ancestors supposed to be delusional? I'd worry about that, but I was worrying more about where Mother's ashes had gone-

But why was I thinking about them? Mother's ashes had been interred in our ancestral tomb in those dreadful weeks after her kagouti hunt had gone so terribly wrong when I was a child... centuries ago, in other words. And our tomb was in no danger – the guardians were strong, the ghostfence active, and no clan had attacked another's ancestors since we'd established the Council. Had I been dreaming?

Or was I still dreaming? Because the woman before me did not belong to the waking world. Grey skin, eyes like fire, she looked like an odd cross between a Chimer and a Dremora. And what on Nirn was that armour made out of?

"Who are you?" I demanded, scrambling to my feet as I reached back for my spear. "What are you?"

The woman looked as though she were regretting all the choices that had led her here. "Better, but still not what I need. Honoured ancestor- lord Hortator-"

She stopped, eyes shifting to focus on something behind me. It didn't strike me as a feint, so I dared a quick glance over my left shoulder.

The person coming up beside me could hardly be called such. She was a ghost of a ghost, her form faded into translucence, only a glimmer of light setting her off from the darkness. Her face was washed-out, blurred, almost invisible...

And yet I recognised it all the same.

Especially since I'd only just been thinking about her.

"Mother?" I mouthed.

My long-dead mother smiled at me, something terrible burning in those faded eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but the only sound that escaped her was a quiet rustling whisper.

But-

But that wasn't right either, because I'd never known my mother, had I? Foundling, abandoned, clanless – the ghost looking at me now was a stranger to me. Was the wrong species, even, the bare hint of colour she had remaining showing her skin to be gold.

A hand rested on my other shoulder. I spun around.

"Easy there," said the man who'd come up on my right while I'd been distracted. "We'll take care of this."

Ahead, the woman who'd first addressed me – a Dunmer, of course, wearing glass armour in the Armiger style, and why had I been taken so aback at her appearance? - looked between me and the two now flanking me. "Honoured ancestors." That was addressed to the ghost-woman and, inexplicably, me. "You."

"What, I don't get a respectful title?" the man on my right retorted. He was Dunmer too, young, in plain clothes.

"You're younger than me, you're not one of my ancestors-"

"-transitivity says otherwise-"

"-and I heard about all the trouble you caused," the Armiger snapped. "No. Absolutely not. Besides, my business is with him, not you."

I looked around to see if anyone else had come up behind me while I wasn't looking, but the remaining people were keeping their distance. That meant that yes, the woman definitely meant me.

All right, with this and 'honoured ancestor'... was the woman actually blind? In what way, shape or form did I look male?

"I think she'd prefer 'her'," the man said, earning him my immediate undying gratitude.

"Her, then. I don't care. I do care about the fact that there are some very important things I need hi- her to know." She turned to me. "Honoured ancestor, take pity on your humble descendants for they are in need of you. The Ghostfence grows weaker as the Sharmat grows stronger, and evil has escaped to mass beyond it – at Mamaea, at Ilunibi, at Kogoruhn. You are the Hortator, you know the enemy – you must come to our aid."

"I. Have no idea what you're talking about?" Complete bafflement appeared to be the emotion of the day. "Are you sure you have the right person? I'm fairly sure I'd know if I had descendants... and I'm just an alchemist, you know, not some- some hero or something."

The woman stared at me long enough I began to wonder whether I had something on my face.

"See, I was trying to tell you," the man to my right said. "You're too early, she doesn't remember yet. Try again later."

The woman swore. "Vivec's spear-"

The man's hand on my shoulder tightened. The air around us grew sharp and heavy.

"I'm surprised," his voice was mild, "that you're still swearing by Vivec. Considering exactly who you're asking for help."

The woman straightened. I knew that posture from the inside – it was pride stiffening her spine. "And why shouldn't I? If it weren't for Lord Vivec we'd have been overrun long ago. With his strength bolstering us we'd still be holding the Sharmat's creatures well enough, too, if they hadn't learned to cursed well dig."

The ghost to my left moved forward, opened her mouth. Again, the only noise that escaped her sounded like wind passing through dead leaves – but this time said wind was definitely angry.

Judging by the Armiger's flinch, unlike me she could understand what the ghost was saying. "I... will think on your words, honoured ancestor."

She'd changed, I realised. Lines carved her face, her armour was dull and dented, and her eyes were infinitely tired as she turned to once more look at me.

"Honoured ancestor- no. Alchemist, if that's how you term yourself. He says you need time, so we shall give you all the time there is to spare. But please, when you are able – remember. Remember who you are, remember what you can do, and remember that the spirits of the Ghostgate need you."

The words felt like stones dropping into the surface of my mind, ripples spreading out from where they fell. (Remember- remember- remember-) Even after the last echo had died away, I felt- different. Heavy. As though the plea was still buried within me, hidden in the depths, waiting.

The woman, I realised, was fading away. When she met my eyes, I could see the darkness behind. She was so translucent it was hard to make out her figure when she brought her hands together in front of her chest, harder still as she sank into a deep bow – and by the time she should have risen again, she was gone. Gone, and the watching crowd with her, leaving me and my two companions alone in the dark.

"Could someone please explain what just happened?" I asked the universe plaintively.

The man beside me sighed. He still hadn't let go of my shoulder; it said something about how completely bewildering the last few minutes had been that I hadn't tried to dislodge him yet. "I would, but there's not much point. You wouldn't remember."

Something clicked. "Because I'm dreaming, right?"

"Because- well. Yes! Let's go with that."

That... had not been confirmation. I frowned, about to press him for the truth, but he got there first.

"Besides, we don't have much time left, and I want to tell you something." The man finally dropped his hand, instead stepping forward to stand in front of me. He, too, had changed – grey now streaked his hair, and his plain shirt, vest and breeches had turned into fine robes. The wrinkles around his eyes and mouth spoke of a mer who loved to laugh, but right now his face was solemn.

"But you just said I wouldn't remember anything-"

"Oh, I'm being perfectly selfish, this is for my benefit rather than yours." The man inhaled. "I'm sorry."

I decided that by the time this dream, or whatever it was, was over, I'd have to learn how to be perfectly, blissfully certain about everything as I'd have so badly abused my allotment of confusion for the next decade that the universe would almost certainly refuse to provide more. "I'm not following."

The man reached up to rub the back of his neck. "I'm new to this whole ancestral guardian thing, and... it's a very unusual situation, true, but all the same I'm afraid I've made an absolute hash of it. In my defense, you really have made yourself hard to keep track of – was it really necessary to move around that much when you were younger? - but I won't make excuses. There were times you could have really used a ghost showing up to throw fireballs at people on your behalf, and I didn't. I wasn't able, but that doesn't really matter. Fact of the matter is I didn't, and you have no idea how sorry I am for that."

Ancestral guardian. The cogs of my completely overwhelmed mind began to grind back into gear.

"You're... one of my ancestors." The image of a four-armed skeleton floated at the top of my mind. "From that tomb in the Grazelands?"

"What? Oh, no. Other side of the family entirely, that. Although your great-great-granduncle was delighted that you came to visit. Great-great-great? Something like that. In any case, no, I'm..."

He paused, eyes narrowing.

"I'd introduce myself, but you don't actually know if you want me to. Isn't that right?"

My gaze fell to the nonexistent floor.

He was right, of course. I hadn't even decided whether I wanted to use the Temple kinfinding services. Hadn't even tried to make up my mind, either, since it wouldn't matter until after I'd finished the pilgrimages and so I still had a lot of time to think it over... or so I'd expected. Having a chatty ghost turn up when I'd barely started had not been in my calculations at all, and now I didn't know what to think anymore.

I was distracted from my musings by the sensation of a hand ruffling my hair.

"Perfectly understandable you'd feel that way, of course. But-"

A rustle from my side – a whisper, far too faint to understand.

The man glanced over, gave a respectful nod aimed to my left. "We're almost out of time, it seems, and the honourable lady here has something to say." He paused. "The apology stands, you know. And if you're ever ready to stop running, I'll be here." Then he stepped back.

The faded ghost had remained quietly at my side while the man had been talking. Now, she drifted forward until she was facing me. She was a stranger, of course, no one I'd ever seen before, so I had no idea why a pit opened in my stomach at the sight of her.

She reached forward to cup my face, the touch as light and insubstantial as a breeze. My heart was beating fast enough to burst from my chest, but I didn't draw back, didn't try to free myself. Some strange buried part of me screamed in agony at the mere thought.

Cool lips brushed feather-light over my brow.

The world went white-

-white, then red-

-and then I was blinking up at the ceiling.

"What on Nirn," I asked it, "was that all about?"

*****


Notes: Fun story! Mr. Ancestral Guardian here is actually a canon ESO character. Stumbling across him was incredibly fun because he was "canonically"in the family tree I'd already given her and he's just... completely perfect... as one of Adryn's ancestors. I was planning to have him still be alive and crop up during Adryn: Tribunal, but I never really had much of a role for him... and then when I'd already started this chapter he spoke up saying that actually, he'd rather be dead and show up earlier, and by earlier he meant now. So that happened!

His identity would, I note, be a massive spoiler for part of Adryn's heritage that won't be clear for a long time yet, so I deliberately didn't really add much in the way of hints for it and won't be confirming or denying any guesses in the thread. Another reason I was planning to bring him in later, but the characters disagreed.


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
SubRosa
post Oct 11 2021, 12:12 AM
Post #557


Ancient
Group Icon
Joined: 14-March 10
From: Between The Worlds



This is a very neat scene. It starts ordinarily enough as Nerevar at her mother's funeral. Then it makes a total turn when he is summoned by people from his future. It took me a few moments to realize that the gray skins and red eyes were not normal to him. In his time the Dunmer looked like the Altmer. So that was a cool revelation.

And then we shift from Nerevar's perspective to Adryn's. That was a bit confusing. But I was expecting it, so I followed along.

Very neat! Adryn's ancestor guardian finally showed up! Plus the ghost of her mother.


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Lena Wolf
post Oct 11 2021, 01:46 PM
Post #558


Mouth
Group Icon
Joined: 18-May 21
From: Bravil



So wonderful to have you back! biggrin.gif

The scene in the tomb is appropriately confusing. As it should be. I would be very confused myself if I were to experience something like that... blink.gif It was really fun to read because I have written my own scene in a tomb to occur much later in Lena Wolf's story (see I'm Lena Wolf here on Chorrol). Tombs are spooky places, what can I say!


--------------------
"What is life's greatest illusion?"
"Innocence, my brother."

User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
Kazaera
post Nov 7 2021, 11:21 PM
Post #559


Finder
Group Icon
Joined: 13-December 09
From: Germany



Late? Who, me, late? wacko.gif

@SubRosa - yeah, this was probably the weirdest I'm going to be with perspectives, featuring bb!Nerevar sliding into grown-up!Nerevar sliding into Adryn. The confusion was unavoidable in this case - I'm glad you followed along despite that!

@Lena Wolf - like I said to SubRosa, it's kind of hard to avoid that being confusing so I'm glad you followed along! I've seen your story and will have to check it out sometime smile.gif

Last installment, Adrynerevar dreamed and had a conversation. This conversation was extremely confusing, featured ancestral guardians, and... it is possible Adryn remembered a *bit* more of it than usual when waking up! Go her.

Chapter 24.2

*****


"Captain Naros," Ervesa said decisively.

"Eh?" I blinked at her, torn out of my thoughts. After Ervesa's urging, I'd rushed through breakfast and we'd ended up reaching our agreed meeting point for the expedition to the shrine early. I'd slipped into daydreams as we waited.

"Your Buoyant Armiger. She was captain of the Armigers in the middle of the Second Era, known for her skill at poetry, and her spirit was one of the anchors of the Ghostfence when it was first erected. Glass armour was reserved for the captains until recently, and she's the only one who matches the description."

"That's... nice?"

Bewildering though it had been, I'd been delighted enough that for once I'd had a dream that I could at least partially remember I'd immediately shared it with Ervesa. If I'd known how she'd latch onto it, I'd have reconsidered. I suspected her enthusiasm for dissecting it was at least in part due to the fact that it meant we were not continuing our conversation from last night, but it was still annoying to deal with.

"Indoril Naros, she was," Ervesa continued. "Rare, too, to have an Indoril join the Armigers-"

"Says the Telvanni."

"-but not unheard of." Ervesa ignored my interjection. "Oh, imagine if you were descended from her! A true hero of the Armigers, we have at least a dozen ballads about her exploits – and you'd be an Indoril, too!"

Indoril. It was one of the five Great Houses, I knew, like Redoran or Telvanni but with no presence on Vvardenfell.

The name felt... familiar. Like a word I'd spoken so often my tongue had grown around its shape. It felt right.

I pushed the feeling away, because there was something more important than my flights of fancy.

"I... don't think she was my ancestor, though." I couldn't really remember the conversation we'd had – something about her wanting me to do something I couldn't? - but I was fairly sure about that part. I did have the vague recollection of her calling me her ancestor, but I must have gotten that muddled up with something else.

"Oh." Ervesa drooped. "Pity." True to form, though, she recovered quickly. "Now, the woman who wasn't a Dunmer, she's an interesting one. Altmer, you thought?"

I frowned. "I thought so... but she was short for one, and her hair was dark." I'd never seen an Altmer with dark hair, and really, really hoped the stories I'd heard of what they did to ensure that were just stories. "Gold skin, though, never seen that on a Bosmer before."

"There are no Altmer spirits in the Ghostfence... and although I suppose it's not out of the question you have Altmer blood, it'd have to be some way back for you to show none of the traits." Ervesa squinted at me, as though she thought I might suddenly grow a foot and have my eyes go yellow if she just stared at me long enough. I fought off the urge to cross my arms defensively. "Besides, I've heard Altmer spirits don't stick around long after death. Selfish, if you ask me. No family loyalty at all."

I considered starting a discussion about tolerance and respect for other cultures' death practices and decided it wasn't likely to be very productive. "This was definitely an older spirit. She was all... faded."

"Hmm. She could be Chimer." Ervesa sounded doubtful. "There are hardly any Chimer spirits left, though, and I have no idea why one would have an interest in you. They generally don't – it's been so long, the bloodlines are so distant, the few you still see are usually attached to places rather than people."

My memory of the woman was still splintered, but I was fairly sure that yes, she'd been interested in me specifically. The man had thought so too, hadn't he?

The honourable lady has something to say...

Although that hadn't been the only thing he'd told me, had it? No, he'd monologued at me, I was sure of it. The memory was scattered, but by concentrating I could begin to piece it back together.

There were times you could have really used a ghost showing up to throw fireballs at people, and I didn't.

I jerked upright from my slump against the wall. "The man- that's right! He was an ancestor. My ancestor guardian, he said."

Ervesa beamed. "Now we're getting somewhere. Can you describe him?"

"Well..." I thought back. "His hair was brown... or black... although it might have been grey? Um. I think it was longish, but I'm not certain. He wasn't... I don't think he was tall? Although he was taller than me, so maybe he was? And he was wearing, I don't know, something. Not armour."

Beside me, I saw that Ervesa was covering her eyes with one hand, as though unable to bear the sight of me. "He was talkative?" I offered weakly.

"That- were you paying any attention at all?"

"Well, I'm sorry!" I retorted, feeling slightly offended. "I don't have a good memory for faces!"

"Or hair, height, or clothes, apparently. By now I'm amazed you managed to remember Captain Naros' armour."

"I was paying more attention to what he was saying than what he looked like," I sniffed.

What he'd been saying.

The start of the dream was still hopelessly fragmented, but more and more the end was coming together again. The conversation with the man, in particular.

I'd introduce myself, but you don't actually know if you want me to. Isn't that right?

Suddenly, I was ready to be done with this conversation.

For once the universe decided to come to my aid – a surprise, as in recent times it seemed bent on making me suffer. Perhaps it was feeling guilty? At any rate, that was when the door slammed open and four more people spilled into the room.

"Can we go already?"

Correction, three people – a male Armiger in glass armour, a woman decked out in bonemould and Spikes who I'd met yesterday – plus one Daedra badly disguised as a pilgrim.

"Have some patience, woman," the unknown Armiger said. Judging by the frazzled look he was shooting her, he hadn't appreciated having to deal with our local Oblivion infiltrator so far. I had no sympathy. None. Zero. He'd only been faced with her since yesterday evening, and had had allies the whole time. I'd been forced to handle her for days, alone.

Vindictively, I decided to dub him Rich Boy. I'd done some research on the value of native Morrowind goods, and the price of a full suit of glass armour was astronomical. He had to come from serious money.

Rich Boy's pinched expression smoothed when he saw me and Ervesa. "Ah, and it seems we are complete. I thought for certain you two would be running late."

The implication was clear. I ground my teeth so hard he could probably hear them. Beside me, Ervesa stood frozen and silent as a statue. I didn't think it was only my imagination that I could feel guilt radiating off her.

Guilt which, in this particular case, didn't belong entirely to her.

I could have pressed the matter. Could have continued our conversation last night, could have stopped her from seizing onto the topic of my dream this morning. Ervesa had clearly been hoping to distract me, to avoid the topic, but it was hardly as if I was verbally defenceless. I could have insisted.

I hadn't.

Oh, I'd intended on it. Had promised myself I would, last night. But this morning, head still spinning from my realisation last night (needless to say, the dream had not served to make me feel any less confused), I hadn't been able to face it. It still hurt that she'd misrepresent our relationship to her fellows, but the fact that I didn't even know what I wanted that relationship to be anymore meant I wasn't in a good place to tell her off for it. So when she'd deflected... I'd let her.

I told myself very sternly that this avoidance would be a temporary state of affairs, coming to an end as soon as I got my head on straight. This habit of Ervesa's was strange, damaging, and absolutely not something to emulate.

The silence lengthened as Rich Boy looked between the two of us, brow furrowing. I suspected that we did not give the impression of a pair of lovers who'd just finished a romp in the sheets.

"Is everything all-"

"If we're all here, can't we go?"

The world was a strange and marvelous place, with unforeseen miracles around every corner. My greatest piece of evidence for this: the fact that I'd just found myself feeling grateful towards the Daedra.

"I agree with the pilgrim," the unknown woman said, speaking for the first time. I was clearly getting the hang of Morrowind culture and politics, given that I'd looked at her bonemold armour and dour expression and immediately been able to categorise her as Redoran. "If we keep standing her gossiping, we will be running late."

"Touchy, touchy..." Rich Boy shook his head. "But fair enough. Ervesa, we'll talk later."

Almost unnoticeably, Ervesa winced. I had absolutely no sympathy for her. She'd made her bed, time to lie in it.

"Right." The man straightened, turning to look first at me, then the badly disguised Daedra. "Pilgrims. We're about to enter the Red Mountain area. It is extremely dangerous, and don't think I'm exaggerating for poetic effect because I'm an Armiger. Taluro here will be able to confirm, and everyone can tell you she doesn't have a sense of humour." He nodded towards the Redoran woman, who glared at him but didn't otherwise protest. "Me, I'd love it if all of us returned from this trip alive, healthy, and with the same number of limbs we all started with. We have a competition going with the Ordinators, see, and I lose points if I lose any of you." His teeth flashed white in a grin.

I was starting to rethink this idea. I'd managed with no clan and no organised religion in my life up until now, surely I could continue on that way?

"So, pilgrims, a few ground rules." He began counting off his fingers. "Rule one, if we say something, you do it. No back-talk, no questions – if I say 'jump', I want to see you off the ground."

Well, it seemed this pilgrimage would definitely be a test of willpower, because talk about not playing to my strengths.

"Rule two, no wandering off. You are to stay beside one of us at all times. I don't care if you find the Blighted shalk off in the distance the most fascinating thing you ever saw, it will take your face off if you go near it."

I had no idea what sort of a mad person would detach themselves from their guards in a highly dangerous area to go look at a disease-ridden beast.

Although if there were rare alchemical ingredients around...

"Rule three... don't die."

All right, I thought I could manage that one.

"All right. Everyone got their soul gems? Then masks up and head out."

Even as I fumbled to draw up the scarf Ervesa had given me so that it covered my nose and mouth, the Armiger pulled a lever set into the outer wall and the solid iron gate gleaming with enchantment began, ponderously, to creak open.

For a moment, I wondered about safety. I hadn't seen any lock or other way the lever was secured. What was stopping someone from just wandering by and entering the Red Mountain region themselves?

...well, common sense, I supposed.

"Taluro, Enar, take point. Pilgrims, in the middle, with Ervesa to guard. I'll bring up the rear."

The warriors moved, smooth and coordinated as though they were parts of one great Dwemer automaton. As I stumbled to follow, I felt terribly like the grit in their cogwheel.

I'd barely taken five steps from the gate before I began to rethink this whole endeavour.

At first glance, the area inside the Ghostgate looked much like the landscape just outside. Ash, the odd dead tree, more ash, the glow of a lava pool in the far distance...

But one obvious difference immediately caught my attention – there were no living plants. Oh, the Ashlands and Molag Amur might seem dead to the ignorant, but there was still scathecraw and trama root, fire fern and lichen, nature clinging to every foothold it could. Here? Nothing as far as the eye could see.

Which wasn't very far. Although I knew the sun had risen by now, it was hidden by clouds so thick and dark that fact could no longer be empirically verified, the closest hills only distant shadows in the gloom. Here just outside Ghostgate the eerie white-blue light of the Ghostfence illuminated our surroundings, but further in I suspected it would be little better than night-time.

Beside me, Miss Daedra in disguise raised her hand. Magicka gathered around her palm, brightened-

"No light spells," Rich Boy hissed from ahead. "We need our night vision, and we don't need attention."

Wonder of wonders, the so-called pilgrim who had been a plague on my existence the last two days immediately obeyed, the gathering sparks snuffed out as if they'd never been. Where had that docility been when I'd been trying to explain that I could not, in fact, magically whisk the both of us to Ghostgate?

Although really, magic was an idea. Unlike the Daedra I wasn't stupid enough to send up a giant we are here signal, but if this area was really so dangerous it couldn't hurt for me to use my Detection spell to keep a metaphysical eye on our surroundings. I reached into my magicka-

Correction. It could absolutely hurt.

For one, I'd forgotten about the Ghostfence. The edifice, awe-inspiring enough to regular eyes, was even more imposing to my magical senses. Trying to sense anything past it was like trying to hear a water droplet in a waterfall, and so by all rights it should have drowned out anything nearby.

Should have being the key word.

There was something wrong here, pulsating and feverish and poisonous. It reminded me of nothing so much as the Blighted guar we'd run into in the West Gash, except that this sensation wasn't coming from a particular point. No, although it did seem to get stronger to the north, I could sense it diffusely all around me. It was as if the very air were tainted with something.

The scarf was scratchy and uncomfortable against my face. All the same, I didn't think I'd be taking it off until we were back in Ghostgate. Or outside Ghostgate. Really, was I sure Balmora was far enough away to be safe?

"Adryn," Ervesa hissed from my side.

I realised I'd come to a complete halt. "Sorry," I murmured, and forced myself to take another step, then another, as I cut the flow of magicka off. I almost tripped as the sensations ceased, but caught myself just in time. I didn't think I really wanted to come in close contact with the ground here. My feet couldn't be helped, of course, but there was no need to go beyond that. As it was, I'd have to give serious thought to amputation once we got back.

The heavy, echoing clang of a gate slamming shut was unmistakeable, but I shot a glance behind us anyway. Sure enough – our exit was shut, and I couldn't help but notice that there was no lever on this side.

I had a brief moment to regret all the choices that had led me here.

"It'll be opened for us when we get back," Rich Boy said. "Now, let's get a move on."

And so we moved.

*****


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
SubRosa
post Nov 9 2021, 04:06 AM
Post #560


Ancient
Group Icon
Joined: 14-March 10
From: Between The Worlds



I know you explained it, but I still keep thinking that Buoyant Armigers are emergency flotation devices.

I love how the name Indoril feels right in Adryn's mind.

Hopefully there won't be any rare alchemical ingredients around... As for the rest of it, yeah, I expect there are plenty of people stupid enough to wander off on these expeditions.

I love that sense of metaphysical toxicity in the air beyond the Ghostgate.


--------------------
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post

29 Pages V « < 26 27 28 29 >
Reply to this topicStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

 

- Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 28th March 2024 - 10:58 AM