Depressed? Insane? Options

[Wurlon]

Ever feel so depressed and insane that you sometimes question whether you are dreaming or the swirling world around you is a grim reality? I really can't tell anymore... every passing day brings more proof of my insanity and I keep feeling a rage.. to do something. I worry whether its for good or bad.

Help? No one seems to believe me or understand me anymore. Maybe I should just take a whole bottle of Advil and get my wretched existence over with. God turns his cheek to me.

[dagoth carlos]

haha i truly know how you feel..... ive kinda grown somewhat numb to everything around me... i could seriously do without everything and everyone, but i dont have the *nerve* to end it all like that.... but then again, i tend to bottle my emotions anyway, so it shouldnt be a problem.....then again, a friend of mine said that it isnt healthy to bottle ur emotions, then again.... what are we to do about it if we cant? hahaha, i dont even know if im even on subject, or do i even know what im saying.... maybe im just ranting for no reason.... or maybe the reason lays somewhere in the sub-consious regions of my mind(or maybe im ranting?)... yes.... is it all a dream? how can we prove if this is all real?(donr mind this, this is probly the skooma and starbucks talking....)

[ThePerson98]

So...I didnt find your age in your profile, Im supposing you are 14-20 looking at this writing.

Im not so easy..Ive had my hard times in life, and am right now. I dont go to suicide.

All suicide is is giving up. Giving into your own misery. Just like giving into satan, giving into someone you hate. Basically saying to the guy you dislike "I give up, Im a wimp, tell everyone"
Ive got no one to trust fully, but I dont just give up, if you have no one to trust, go find someone. Stay strong.

And also, go get help. There is no way we here can make things better. We can support you, but you're the one taking action in your life. Go to a counsellor.

Get excercise. If you, like many people out in the world, have allowed yourself to become indoors, and rarely going outside, go take a walk each day.

Sometimes there are chemical imbalances in the brain that can severely depress you to no end. A counsellor will tell you if you need that or not.

Lifes a story, you can make it a horrible story, making it so each day seems to drag on, and be miserable. Or you can make it a great story, where you live everyday smiling.


Its all your choice. No one rules you. No one makes descisions for you. Might as well make better descisions for obvious reasons.

Get help. And things will look up quickly. And do not be afraid to cry. Crying isnt a sign of weakness, there are actually chemicals released from crying that relieve stress.

[DoomedOne]

He's 15 I think, not completely sure.

And yeah, Wurlon, we've all been there, we've all typed or said compassion at least a little similar to you, it just comes with the territory of coming into existence, and it passes, the compassion passes, you just got to keep your head down to tredge through the compassion, life get's better later on, trust me.

[ThePerson98]

You wont even believe how many kids this happens to. Its happening to me yet Im keeping my chin up and not letting myself get beat up.

Everybody goes through a stage like this..

[Geonox]

All suicide is is giving up. Giving into your own misery. Stay strong.

Lifes a story, you can make it a horrible story, making it so each day seems to drag on, and be miserable. Or you can make it a great story, where you live everyday smiling.
Its all your choice. No one rules you. No one makes descisions for you. Might as well make better descisions for obvious reasons.

that's exactely the way I think about it. I mean if I was like that I probably comited suicide years ago because of problems which were so small. [not that I ever concidered doing it tho Probably the last thing I would do] Sure it's ok to be sad sometimes, it's not ok to act happy all the time. But when you stay in this "my life is so painted" state you will only get more and more depressed. Besides I think that the word depressed is used far to often. People easely say they are depressed btw but if you keep telling yourself that your life is so bad you'll easely start to think that you might be depressed. Again I'm not saying that you are a winer or not depressed I don't know you so I can't judge the way you are. I only speak from my experiance with people who were "depressed". So basicly like ThePerson98 said, try to focus on the fun stuff in life. Don't go for the easy way and continue to go on like this. Again I don't know who I'm speaking to !

[milanius]

If there was no suffering, there would be no evolution or progress.
If there was only bliss and equilibrium this would be a planet populated with Borg-like creatures, devoided of any creativity, and not planet of poets, artists and scientists.
Sure. Life IS a bit*h sometimes... most of the times. And yes, every rose has thorns... but that doesen't make it less beautiful. Try to seek positive things in life; and even if the world arround you seems painted in all shades of grey, try as hard as you can to find colors in it... and meaning. Because, without meaning, there is no point for this conversation - we could all get that preverbial bottle of drugs/razor/Colt .45 and kill ourselves right now.
I speak this from a very solid stand. I am a middleaged, single white male, in a land that is home to an army of one million unemployed. I have very little hope for future if I don't find a job soon (and that's highy likely). Above all, my family is going trough all sorts of financial/medical problems, with which I can help them very little or in no way. But I am not here to whine myself and tell you how someone else has it even worse than you... no. You don't know me and I don't know you, but we're all in this same boat, in the same muddy trench if you like it more. And we all have to fight, every single day. Fight for yourself, for your family, for people you love, for meaningful existence. I will never stop believing that we (humans) aren't supposed to be a species of nature-rapists and murderers, but artists, mathematicians and explorers... so there's one optimistic view, comming from the mouth of an hypocrit; nevertheless, it might just help you a bit.

[Pisces]

I have been through depressiong myself and it seems like an odd concept to think about how it is possible to be so depressed when not going through it. Personally I don't know how I manage not to commit suicide when going through depression, basically I spent too much time thinking which leads to spiralling depression and I got to the point where I was just like "Whats the point in not suffering (being dead)", until that point the reason I didn't commit suicide was just the people who would be saddened by my death, family obviously, friends I didn't care if I saddened them but there was the random people in my life who would have no idea why I suddenly dissappeared.

The best thing to fight depression is keep yourself occupied, easier said than done I know, if somebody said that to me I'd just ignore them. Invite a friend to the movie, join a club or best of all, find some random person (or 2) off a forum, add them to your MSN then talk to them constantly, I find it hard to talk to strangers but I can open up more easily than with friends because I don't give a hamster what they think of me. I tended to get depression when my life was monotonous with no possibility of change, so adding things to it tended to "cure" me.

[Tellie]

Ok, let me tell you this Wurlon. Depression is a very normal theme throughout the teen, and mid 20ties, so you are absoloutely not crazy or something. To have thoughts like you, or to come home being totally angry without any particular reason, IS NOT unormal...so dont be afraid, you're just as normal as the rest of us people.

But if you are depressed, talking to people, and letting your frustrations out, or confess your problems often help, be it to your mother, father girlfriemd/boyfriend, or some friend or shrink is the best.

So thats my advice, let it out, and talk to someone who can help you.

[Wurlon]

I'm 14, I have no one to talk to except my family who don't understand and think I fake it. I take a walk almost everyday to get away but the only wretched thing I get out of it is exercise. No peace of mind, no help. Every other day, suicide seems so much better and closer. Everyone tells me to go out and simply make friends, I can't. Everyone in my school believes I'm insane and don't even speak to me. I can't argue anymore, everything I do is always wrong or retarded in the eyes of my enemies. This isn't because of my age or what is going on, I've been like this for three hamster cave years. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I can think of a thousand things I could have done that day that could have lifted me to happiness.. but I didn't think of it. I've even started a journal so people can see what I've been thinking after I'm dead.. I don't see a future for myself anymore. Sometimes I get so lonely I talk to myself and sometimes to God. I don't even believe in God anymore yet I speak to him, such stupid beliefs that only make death easier to come by. As I type this now I just returned from my sister's friend's graduation party, I sat in the garage as the rain poured down and everyone else seemed to be talking.. I'm also staring at my report card that came in the mail. Usually I get A's on my finals and grades, but I recieved C's and B's on my finals and my averages dropped because of the ridiculous grades.

Even if I live after these years, I'd never be able to do a job or get married, I become nervous with whatever I do because I continue to fail. Continue to be mocked. Society is such a cruel place if you aren't a part of it.

[minque]

I remember I used to think much the same when I was in your age (a looong time ago), of course my parents didn´t understand me! It´s always like that, you´re too near them. I found out it was easier to talk to other grown-ups, non-relative! And believe me or not it was the same thing ever after. When I got married I found it much easier and better to talk to my mother-in-law, she was a wonder of understanding ( she´s dead now) I could talk to her about just everything.

I think the best thing for you is to talk to us here at chorrol.....I mean we´re a bunch of ppl of all kind of ages.....we like each other, we support each other...If you wanna talk to an adult...well I´m here, among with a couple of others.....

There are ppl of your own age, and a bit older, who naturally will be there for you, I promise!

Keep to life Wurlon! It´s by far the best alternative, I promise you!

[Tellie]

As Minque said you can always talk to us here at Chorrol...we love you, and will most definately listen.

If you have MSN, you can talk with me there...,my email is hjp-telendil@hotmail.com
Dont be afraid to contact me, I know exactly how you have it, well almost, I was not mocked at school,but my younger sis was, and she had a terrible life, fortunately she talked to other people, and it helped...but I have ahd thoughs of suicide before, I think many here have had such thoughts...but I wont swear on it though.

But I talked to people, and got help, and now I dont have any thougts like that any longer...so please Wurlon, dont do it...dont kill yourself, I know it must be terrible for you to go through this, but see it this way...it is the bastards who mock you, who have a bad life...you have a family, although they might not want to listen to you, I'm sure they love you.

Those idiots who mock you...I'm srue that half of them, will probably end up without job, being alchoholics, drug addicts, and living behind bars....you're better than that.

And your grades dropping, dont worry, they'll come back, heck, my grades was crappy when I left youth school(the year you turn sixteen), and now here I am, studying to become an engineer...I promise you, your life still holds many surprises....it is just that in your age, there will always be someone who are mocekd and bullied, sicne there is no constitutional punishment for it, other than a note or some detention, people will continue, but raise yourselfover them...you need not show it to them...but know inside you that you are STRONGER AND BETTER than they are....I doubt anyone of them is members of such a forum, and have so many people who dont actually know you but still love you...so contact me via MSN if you want to talk.

[Zarrexaij]

Don't kill yourself.

I won't preach to you why you shouldn't do it, but I will tell you one thing: think about the people that will have to clean up after you.

Think about how much it would cost your parents to get your stomach pumped and have dialysis.

Think about how much your family and friends would grieve if you OD'd on those pills.

Think about the people you will be leaving behind.

If you fail, then what? Your liver and kidneys will be messed up forever.

Suicide doesn't solve anything. Face it. If you're doing it in revenge, they'll forget about it in less than a week. If you're depressed, it's nothing but a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I went through suicidal tendencies myself. I never once succeeded. I have scars on my arms from trying to take my life. I had to go to therapy that was soon canceled. My problem is biochemically based, so I need medicine. However, when I feel bad I talk to the people I care about. While they don't always understand my problems, and they don't always know how it feels, it greatly helps to talk to people.

This post has been edited by Zarrexaij: Jun 24 2006, 11:18 PM

[treydog]

Let me add my voice to the absolute chorus of those who have said- hang on. I lived with depression for a long time- still wrestle with it now. In my case, my folks did talk to me and express their love for me. And it did not seem to matter....

What helped was talking to an older person (happened to be a minister)- and discovering that he understood exactly what thoughts and feelings were going through me. He did not push religion at me (nor am I trying to do so to you). He simply understood and talked to me seriously. I urge you to seek that type of conversation- whether it is with a counselor, a minister, a good teacher, whomever. What you are experiencing is frightening, but it is also normal. You can come out the other side of this. Know that, as are so many here, I am pulling for you. I am on your side. I will always listen if you want to talk.

[Kiln]

Trust me man, suicide is not the best option here. I've been through the same thing when I was younger(and by younger I mean 3 or 4 years ago), I was different than everyone else and hardly anyone would even speak with me. It seemed that there was nobody that understood me, or even cared to try. I pondered suicide frequently as well but thankfully, I never had the heart to go through with it. I thought of my family and how it would impact them if I had killed myself, they would've been devistated, even though it didn't seem to me like they cared, they really did.

It is possible that you may have a disorder that must be dealt with through medication, or perhaps you simply need someone to talk to. A school councilor or even a teacher are both good options of people to talk to. If your councilor refers you to a doctor, by all means go and try the medication, see if it works for you.

I know how it feels to be mocked and feel left out of everything, my answer to depression was finding a hobby, try and find something that you like doing to take your mind off of the world around you.

Even now I sometimes feel depressed and so does everyone, depression is not an abnormal feeling throughout life, especially at a young age. You sound like an intelligent guy that is just misunderstood, rather like myself and I hope that you will stick with the advice of myself and the others on this forum, stay strong and hang on.

Just keep going, no matter how bad things seem, there's always a better answer than taking your own life.

[Ibis]

I will add my voice to the chorus of those who care about you. Do not give up. Like Zarrexaij I have a bio-chemical disorder and have lived on medication to keep my moods stable since the late '70s. This is a possiblity that you should look into if you are persistantly depressed. We all, people with biochemical imbalances, can live quite normal lives now and I do have an online community of others just like me that I can go to when I need solace or just to talk.

But as many here have said, depression seems to be a common part of being a teenager and young adult. Pisces and Tellie have a great idea about making some good msn friends that you can talk to and you still remain somewhat anonymous. You don't have to worry about what the people in your everyday life think of you. Really. Cliques of people can be very cruel because they all would feel lost without each other and they seem to need to pick on someone to make themselves think they are better. Not true, it just shows how petty they are.

If you parents think that you are faking your feelings - do find another adult who understands. Or look up the condition of Depression online and find some chat rooms for depressed people to discuss and vent their problems. You might think that that would make you more depressed, but actually there is comfort and safety in numbers and the people there all look out for each other.

But best of all, like Minque said - you already have all of us here at Chorrol. We are really a caring community of friends and many others have told of their problems here and found comfort. You should too. We will do our best to help.

[Lord DoomsDay]

Well the best advice I can give (cuz it seemed to work or me) is...: Listening to other people's problems makes your own problems seem so much smaller and bearable.

Don't know why it worked for me but when ever I listen to other people rant about theyr daily probs made me "think better them than me"

Maybe it's bad advice or maybe not, it helped me through my depresion years.
Dont wory mate I don't think "better you than me" of you, Im thinking "chill man every thing happens for a reason and always work out for the better in the end"

Every bad thing that has happend to me in the past made me eithher stronger, made me understand life a bit beter and let me handel situation better.

Even if it looks like the worst posseble thing that could happen to you, it will work out for the better, it always does.

P.S I never saw suicide as a tragedy but as a act of stupidety, cuz they never explore all they'r options to be helped and when help comes they refuse it, gladto see that you have a good set of brains to ask for help, by doing that you have avioded suicide copletely and goten offers of help from friends that care.

Dont wory, you'll get trough this.

[ThePerson98]

Also, find a good friend to have a stable relationship with. Through a game online, on here, in real life, in your family. Have someone to trust..

[jack cloudy]

Well, not much to add here.

Me, I even tried a couple of times to end my life. (Quite embarrassing and I won't go into details here.)
Needless to say, in the end my attempts failed and I don't have any scars or something to remember it. All I can say is, try to find something to do what you like to do. I used to be a wreck but since I've begun writing, things have been moving up. And best of all, things can always turn better. So just keep breathing and find happiness.

[Tellie]

Well, not much to add here.

Me, I even tried a couple of times to end my life. (Quite embarrassing and I won't go into details here.)
Needless to say, in the end my attempts failed and I don't have any scars or something to remember it. All I can say is, try to find something to do what you like to do. I used to be a wreck but since I've begun writing, things have been moving up. And best of all, things can always turn better. So just keep breathing and find happiness.

Agree with you totally there Cloudy...talking with people who could help me, as well as start writing saved my life.

Altough I used to write otehr kinds of stories, not best mentioned in a forum like this...you might say it was of Adult material.