Aftermath, When one crises ends, another shall rise Options

[King Of Beasts]

Elisabeth Hollow: Thanks for reading and congrats on starting your own fanfic! It's a bit difficult to get readers now, because nobody ever seems to be on so I appreciate it when someone takes the time to read my first fanfic.

mALX: I thought the one of Hircine was pretty cool too. The only problem when finding it was that there were a lot of awesome pics of Hircine to choose from, and if you like every single picture of the choice, the decision isn't necessarily easy...

Acadian: Dont remind me about Hircine's quest! I died about fifty times before realizing you need an enchanted or silver weapon to kill the damn unicorn, and then I died about another 50 trying to get away from the minotaurs! I gotta say though, the reward was worth it.

This post has been edited by King Of Beasts: Dec 21 2012, 11:55 AM

[King Of Beasts]

Why is this so long

This post has been edited by King Of Beasts: Jun 30 2018, 08:29 AM

[Acadian]

" Please don't snap animals in half, I'm never gonna be able to unsee what I have seen." The Earl looked disgusted.’
This was hilarious! Perhaps they need some ‘Do not feed break the bears’ signs.

Despite their valiant efforts, poor Ben didn’t make it.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Poor ben D:

[King Of Beasts]

Acadian: a 'Do Not Break The Bears sign'? ROFL Maybe the bears should be less breakable. They tried to save Ben, but he was too wounded. He bled to death, but Vokun is in an ungodly amount of danger now. Westley is real mad, and is out to get him.

Elisabeth Hollow: Ben was already dying when they found him. I'll tell you this though, Vokun killed Ben for a very specific reason. It wasn't intended to be a warning. You'll find out why later on in the story.

[King Of Beasts]

Hope this thread gets locked tbh

This post has been edited by King Of Beasts: Jun 30 2018, 08:29 AM

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Punch Vokun in the MOUTH.

[Acadian]

‘I was so busy watching everyone else that I didn't notice the tree in front of me. I walked straight into it and fell to the ground from the impact. I stopped and began to plot the tree's demise. I was so pre-occupied plotting my revenge on a plant that I nearly jumped out of my skin when Jakben approached me.’
RazzlefrazzleGrrrPeskyTrees!

" I hate nature" Imbel began to scowl
" At least we're away from Hastrel's complaints and nagging."
" I bet the werewolves killed him by now." Jakben sniggered before tripping over a large rock. He started a tirade.’
This was just fun to read! And threats of Kynareth’s revenge were just as entertaining!

Only one thing left to say:

Punch Vokun in the MOUTH.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

LOL Acadian! That's my solution to everything. Mean boss? Punch him in the mouth. Irritating friend? Punch them in the mouth. Bad kidney? Punch it in the mouth. Don't like that hurricane? Punch it in its MOUTH XD

[Grits]

Yep, Vokun is due for a thorough mouth-punching.

[Elisabeth Hollow]

Yep, Vokun is due for a thorough mouth-punching.

I thought so too.

[King Of Beasts]

Elisabeth Hollow: Evil vampire lord obsessed with killing you and all of your kind? punch him in the mouth At one point my solution to everything was hot glue. My sister chased me out of the kitchen once with a broom for suggesting using hot glue to fix the broken coffee machine with hot glue.

Acadian: I had a hell lot of fun writing those parts I had actually walked into a tree once while hiking with a friend and I got so mad I punched the tree (and learned my lesson on why you shouldn't punch trees the hard way)

Grits: Thanks for reading I don't get many new readers often, and I hope you enjoy the story.

[King Of Beasts]

Adios post

This post has been edited by King Of Beasts: Jun 30 2018, 08:30 AM

[Acadian]

Ah, the quest for a shirt.

I imagine it was very difficult for Westley to return to The Imperial City in ruins. After all, as the Champion of Cyrodiil, he had not that long ago saved the Empire. And it seems Vokun has now exploited the vacumn to take control of the White Gold Tower.

‘I needed a new tactic. Throwing random stuff at the window obviously wasn't going to work.’
Yup. Good thinkin’.

’My fur was spiked straight up.’
After that wild escape and slide for life down the tower, I can imagine! This gave me a fleeting image of mALX's dear Maxical with her fur similarly spiked after a similar fright.

So Vokun still lives – with his mouth unpunched even. And now Hjalfi’s missing as well!

I did have a writing question for you. Why do you begin almost every bit of dialogue by putting a blank space between the opening quotation mark and the first word of dialogue? It would seem both easier and more correct to forego that convention. Just sayin’

This post has been edited by Acadian: Dec 29 2012, 03:14 PM

[Elisabeth Hollow]

There better be some gods-damned mouth punching soon XD

[King Of Beasts]

Get rid of this

This post has been edited by King Of Beasts: Jun 30 2018, 08:30 AM

[King Of Beasts]

Pls no ban idk how else to dispose of this

This post has been edited by King Of Beasts: Jun 30 2018, 08:30 AM

[mALX]

** Reread from beginning to get back on track with your story.

Chapter 6 - Re-commenting Chapter 6, the first time I read it was at my mom’s with a LOT going on to distract me.

Your tongue-in-cheek humor rolls through this chapter (and the whole story) with such subtlety - the werewolf traveling with vampires and worried about assassins - that had me rolling, as did the “don’t call me boy” line (and Imbel’s response, “should I call you ’lad’ then?” - loved that!).

Also loved this little scene:

" Stop dying on the floor lad! One of us has to climb up there to get the key."

" Who will do it?!"

" We'll flip a Septim for it." Jakben pulled a Septim out of the pouch strapped to his waist.

" I call heads lad."

Then this had me rolling on the floor:

It had landed on heads.

"Er...best out of three lad"

Jakben flipped the coin for the second time. It landed on heads again.

" Gaah! We have one more flip lad! Wait!"

OMG, I was screaming at this line:

" What if you fall?"

" By the gods, don't say that lad! It'll happen if you say that!"

This has to be the greatest dungeon crawl ever, with all these powerful characters (yet still so normal in their dialogue) - I am Loving this story, and the subtle humor in your writing!

BWAAAHAA! I’ll bet I know who that Bosmer is, too!


Chapter 7 -

Hell no, if you need to make a sacrifice Hastrel will be easier to tie to a tree! I'll put up a fight, and I'm far stronger than Hastrel! He's weak! He punches like a five year old girl!"

ROFL !! The whole verbal fight between them here had me dying laughing!

Absolutely Awesome scene with Hircine, LOVED that!

" The dark haired one is Jakben and the short red haired one is Hastrel."

Hastrel began to fume " I'm not short!"

SPEW !!!

I love this chant, did you write that yourself or is it in game? Awesome Write on it if you did it !!!!


Chapter 8 - I am loving this werewolf lore you add into this chapter, this gave me a lot of background info on the Wolfsebane vampires (and Vokun) - very good touch! Love the continued digs into Hastrel, makes him a very visible character even when he isn’t on set!

LOVED these lines:

You're a Wolfsebane vampire! No wonder why you're so mean!"

" I'm not mean Hastrel, you're just annoying and I have a temper!"

And:

Please don't snap animals in half, I'm never gonna be able to unsee what I have seen." The Earl looked disgusted.

Very sad and powerful scene when Ben dies, Awesome Write!


Chapter 9 - Very much liking the friendship developing between Imbel and Wes, and LOVED Jakben‘s little fit of anger, lol.

Also loving this pegging order you have laid out in this chapter. Now we know who the most powerful are and who secretly desires to be alpha - you are doing a great job with this! And now Hindaril - this is going to be great! I was disappointed in game that Hindaril was such an easy kill, as much as he was touted by Melisande to be the most powerful vampire.


Chapter 10 - Starts off great with some more of your well thought out name-calling of these beasts! Love your imagination for these rolls!

This war was inspired, and a very well done surprise! Loved the touch of the scene with the child, in the midst of everything going on it seemed almost surreal!

Hastrel redeemed himself in this chapter, especially with this line:

"Gee, you werewolves have real bad tempers."

I loved your drawing of Westley sliding down the tower! Better than I could have done, and your illustrations really show how deeply imbedded you are into your characters and story - that makes it that much better on top of its other merits! Loving this story!


Chapter 11 - So Rex is still up Vokun’s butt, huh?

The Imbel, Hastrel, and Westley all arguing about WHO was going to get the dead mouse - this had me in hysterics !!!! The addition of Fjola is a very interesting one, I wonder what will come of that? Awesome Write, you are doing great with this story !!!

[Elisabeth Hollow]

The dead mouse bit made me laugh so hard...reminds me of the video of the little girl playing with a dead squirrel XD

[Acadian]

It was a great idea, and perfectly timed, to give us a glimpse into what Vokun is thinking and plotting.

I loved the whole dead mouse pet scene!
‘Jakben fell to the ground when the little girl punched him in the crotch.‘
Now, when she gets a little bigger, she’ll be able to punch him in the mouth!

'He had the creepiest smile on his face.
"Hello little girl, what's your name?"
Her frantic reaction confirms Hastrel has quite the way with children – not! This was well-written, conjuring just the creepy impression you intended.

Finally, you used this whole scene with the girl to show that Westley the Werewolf has a good way with kids – and that speaks well of him.