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> Serene Of Cyrodiil, Chapter 4, Ashlander Affairs
treydog
post Dec 19 2005, 09:06 PM
Post #41


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So very happy to see an update to my favorite MW story! And even happier to return to commenting more actively (I hope) by responding to this installment. I stand in awe of the way you have managed to weave romance, practicality, intrigue, and mystery into this short piece. The shift to the "present time" reminds us of why Serene is writing and assures us that, no matter the perils she faces, she will survive.

The looming shadow of the hunt hints at pain to come- and we have the mystery of her daughter's father to ponder, as well.

Welcome back, Serene, we have missed you.


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Florodine of Hlaalu
post Dec 19 2005, 10:08 PM
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Very well done update as always, serene is so full of thought i somtimes forget im reading a fictional story, it seems like she's real. She is so realistic, good job once again minque
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Jonajosa
post Dec 27 2005, 08:30 PM
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Visits from Azura come almost at random int his story. Always give you more encouragement to continue on.

goodjob.gif



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Kiln
post Dec 28 2005, 02:15 AM
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I'm glad you found the time to continue this wonderful story and hope you find time to update again soon. Best of luck you your daughter and parents as well Minque. smile.gif


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He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. - Friedrich Nietzsche
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Soulseeker3.0
post Dec 28 2005, 03:16 AM
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wow very nice

at first I was like what is that last part. I'm pretty sure I got it now. Serene's present while she's writing the story?


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This was pretty unusual, because most children at his age wanted to become great warriors, known all through time as saviors of, well, anything - Toroabok
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minque
post Dec 28 2005, 07:34 PM
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QUOTE(Soulseeker3.0 @ Dec 28 2005, 03:16 AM)
wow very nice

at first I was like what is that last part. I'm pretty sure I got it now. Serene's present while she's writing the story?
*



Yeah! I jumped to "present time".......And I think it worked out....it got me past the terrible writer´s block anyway! biggrin.gif


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Chomh fada agus a bhionn daoine ah creiduint in aif�iseach, leanfaidh said na n-aingniomhi a choireamh (Voltaire)

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Soulseeker3.0
post Dec 28 2005, 08:47 PM
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okay thats what I thought, and will you update again? soon? tongue.gif


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This was pretty unusual, because most children at his age wanted to become great warriors, known all through time as saviors of, well, anything - Toroabok
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minque
post Dec 31 2005, 12:39 AM
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That hunting-party was the beginning of a change in my life, since my relationship with Sedrane developed into a real relationship, that of a man and woman in all ways.

We left the camp on a chilly morning before sunrise. The party consisted of six hunters plus Sedrane and me. My task was not to perform any actual hunting, merely to be there in case something happened that required my healing-skills. We walked for nearly four hours before we even spotted some signs of the presence of any kind of prey. It was Mabarrabael who noticed fresh droppings from a Nix hound. Now that was a good sign, even though Nix hound was not the best source of meat we could think of. Their meat is hard and tough and not very tasty, but nevertheless it was better than nothing.

During the next hour we managed to hunt down two rather large Nix hounds, and a couple of small scribs, which pleased Sedrane because the jelly put on home-made bread was one of his favourite meals.

The hunters were very skilled in preparing the carcasses so we could carry the meat with us. The remains were then sacrificed to the ancestors in order to bring us some luck. When the sun had set, darkness came very quickly so we set up a temporary camp in the shelter of some trees at the foot of the great mountain ridge that separated the Grazelands from the Ashlands.

The evening was a bit chilly and as we sat around the camp fire, Sedrane put his arm around my shoulders, asking if I was cold. I wasn’t really but it sent a thrill down my spine so I nodded and smiled at him. An iron cook-pot was hanging over the fire containing a stew from saltrice and some small chunks from one of the Nix-hounds we got earlier. Sedrane had some bread in his backpack and we ate it with Scrib-jelly. It was delicious, or perhaps it was the atmosphere that made me feel good all over. I don’t know but I still remember that moment by the fire.

We had to keep the fire going throughout the night, so we decided to take turns on watching it. Sedrane said he’d take the first watch, and since nobody asked me to watch at all I decided to keep him company. Mabarrabael smiled when he heard that; I felt slightly embarrassed and went a bit away to find a secluded spot to relieve myself.

I had to admit that I was very much attracted to Sedrane and had been since the first time I met him at the Eight Plates in Balmora, even though I had never suspected I’d see him again and so surrendered to him totally. Now it was a bit different; he was the son of the spiritual leader of the tribe, and it might not be appropriate for me, an outlander, to have an affair with him, the potential Ashkan of the Ahemmusa Tribe. And that was his destiny- it was common talk in the Camp that Sedrane was under training to be Ashkan. Although I was not well-versed in Ashlander traditions, that seemed a sensible choice as he was the son of the Wise Woman and familiar with the history and ceremonies of the Tribe, and also a skilled warrior and hunter. The only problem would be that he was such an emotional person, and that could be a drawback for an Ashkan......

Sedrane handed me a cup of hot tea as I sat down beside him by the fire. I smiled and folded my hands around the mug to warm them up. It was a clear chilly night and both Masser and Secunda were full, sailing majestically in the pinkish-black sky above us.

I stared into the flames of the camp-fire, feeling the warmth from it but also from the man beside me. We did not talk, there was no need for that; somehow I knew what he was thinking, and it made me feel excited, yet a tad scared; he was, after all, a man and I never had had any good experiences of men, so far.

“Serene! Serene! Wake up; we....have got kind of a problem here!”

I sat up, confused. I must have fallen asleep.....and now Sedrane was shaking me awake, looking worried.

The “problem” was that Mabarrabael and Zallit, the red-haired man that brought me as a prisoner to the Ahemmusa camp the day I arrived in these lands, had wandered off to follow the tracks of some Kagouti just before sunrise. Kagouti are huge ugly animals with a bad temper, (the female of the species that is), but it’s the flesh that is really very tasty, at least that was what I’d learned during my stay with this Tribe. So it would be an honour for the hunter that managed to put down prey like that.

In this case the young hunters not only managed to track down a small herd of Kagouti, they also managed to anger the alpha-female to the extent that she attacked. She got hold of Zallit´s right leg and didn’t let go of it until Mabarrabael buried his longsword in her neck. This angered the rest of the pack so the men had to climb a small tree to avoid ending up as breakfast for the Kagouti-family which were resting watchfully under it.

Sedrane had wondered why Mabarrabael did not show up for his watch so he woke up Ulabael and asked him to go and see what was going on. It didn’t take long until he came back telling about the weird sight he encountered: Two men sitting in a small tree, and three Kagouti sitting under it solemnly waiting, maybe for one of the men to fall down. Apparently the Kagouti were attracted to the smell of blood from Zallit´s wound and besides that their leader was badly hurt and lying down on the ground, and they would not leave her.

So Sedrane sent out Addammus and Yennamu along with Ulabael to finish off the Kagouti and also bring back the two adventurers from the tree. It was a hard job to deal with the carcasses from the animals along with the injured Zallit who couldn’t use his leg at all. Now they were back and Zallit´s injured leg was not a nice sight; the Kagouti had almost crushed his leg below the knee, the muscle was torn to pieces and the bone was visible. The young man was terribly pale and barely conscious from the blood loss and the night chill.

I took a deep breath and rubbed my hands to get them a little bit warmer. It was rather a long time since I had practised my healing-powers and I could only hope it would come out alright. I put my hands directly on the wound, feeling the raw bloody human flesh under my fingers. As always it made me shiver for a second, before I started to concentrate.......I closed my eyes, felt a trickle of sweat running down my spine, then the heat started to build up in my hands and into the wound, which very slowly started to close itself up. When it was almost closed I removed my hands and reached for my backpack to get a small healing-potion that would serve as pain-killer as well as closing up the wound completely and give Zallit some vigour again. I looked at my hands afterwards......and realised that I had performed this healing with remarkably less effort than ever before. This pleased me indeed.

It was a rather satisfied hunting-party that returned to the Ahemmusa-Camp late that afternoon, three Kagouti, two Nix-hounds and some 5 Scribs were not bad at all. But what pleased me most was that Zallit looked at me with completely different eyes after this day....

Later that night Sedrane invited me to his yurt for the first time; before that day it would have been inappropriate according to Ahemmusa rules, but since I’d proved myself as a healer, the Ashkan could take such an action. Although I did not know it, I was close to being named a “Clan-friend,” the Ashlanders’ title for someone who was “adopted” by the tribe. My legs were a bit shivery when he led me into the yurt and bade me sit down on the thick red carpet beside the fireplace.

He took my hands in his, and looked right into my eyes saying:

“Serene.....these hands of yours, the divine power they have......well, the divine power you have! You have the incarnation of Azura inside you and we bless Her for sending you to us....to me!”

Then he bowed his head forward and kissed me, gently at first but then his desire increased , and he laid me down on the carpet, his hands let go of mine and started to caress me. He seemed to know exactly which parts of me were most susceptible and all the time he continued kissing me. At first I didn’t move; unsure whether I liked it or not, but as he continued I found myself accepting and then enjoying his attentions.

Sedrane suddenly let go and folded his hands around my face and looked at me solemnly.

“You are a wonderful woman, Serene, you have gone right into my heart, but now you must go back to the Wise Woman’s yurt.” With those words he helped me to my feet, and kissed me goodbye.

That night, I cried myself to sleep, and I did not really know why............




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Chomh fada agus a bhionn daoine ah creiduint in aif�iseach, leanfaidh said na n-aingniomhi a choireamh (Voltaire)

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Jonajosa
post Dec 31 2005, 12:47 AM
Post #49


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Very intense when it come to getting an insight into the life of Serene. The hunting trip in my opinion could have used a bit more detail but it seems your main focus was on the problem that was brewing between Serene and Sedrane. Well writen.

Can't wait for the next one.


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Soulseeker3.0
post Dec 31 2005, 01:01 AM
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yes very well written. I liked the part that hinted at Serene's healing skill growing. A very nice touch


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This was pretty unusual, because most children at his age wanted to become great warriors, known all through time as saviors of, well, anything - Toroabok
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MerGirl
post Dec 31 2005, 01:47 AM
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*claps* Yes, an update to a great story! smile.gif I always loved (and still do) the emotional traits of your writing. It makes the characters all the more, er, "human" (or should I say, "human-like"? huh.gif ).

Nice to see Serene improving her healing skills! goodjob.gif Her skills will surely be needed much more in the future.
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treydog
post Dec 31 2005, 05:17 PM
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In this brief installment we see many of the features that make this a great story: emotion, strength of character, Serene's determination to make her way in a new land, and touches of humor.

If you keep this up, I may be inspired to pick up my pen again, too.

Very nicely done, Minque. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.


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The best-dressed newt in Mournhold.
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gamer10
post Dec 31 2005, 08:32 PM
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QUOTE(MerGirl @ Dec 30 2005, 07:47 PM)
*claps* Yes, an update to a great story!  smile.gif  I always loved (and still do) the emotional traits of your writing. It makes the characters all the more, er, "human" (or should I say, "human-like"?  huh.gif  ).

Nice to see Serene improving her healing skills!  goodjob.gif Her skills will surely be needed much more in the future.
*



blink.gif Mergirl . . you're . . .you're . . .alive!!! biggrin.gif

I've read only at random different times, never having the time to sit down and read the whole story, but I certainly have enjoyed this last excerpt. The relationships in your story are extremely well developed. Great job Serene, and keep up the usual awesome work! goodjob.gif
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Florodine of Hlaalu
post Jan 1 2006, 08:11 PM
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Excellent, i have to say that this is one of the most in depth stories i've read online. The reason i joined Waiting4Oblivion was actually because of this Fan fiction. (And trey told me it was a good website)
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Kiln
post Jan 1 2006, 09:10 PM
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I found W4O through Sinder's parodies and stayed because of all the great fan fiction here, this story was the one that truly inspired me to write my own and I'm overjoyed at the sight of each update.


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He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. - Friedrich Nietzsche
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minque
post Jan 1 2006, 10:07 PM
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Thank you for all nice comments......It´s really inspiring and encouraging, so there will be more.....I assure you! smile.gif


You make me really happy! wub.gif


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Chomh fada agus a bhionn daoine ah creiduint in aif�iseach, leanfaidh said na n-aingniomhi a choireamh (Voltaire)

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mplantinga
post Jan 2 2006, 07:42 PM
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You continually manage to outdo yourself. This last update was incredible; the depth of the emotions you describe was simply amazing. Thanks again for your hard work on this story.
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Neck' Thall
post Jan 4 2006, 04:20 PM
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Woot! And Update! And Sry about not posting for a long time, you know, RL Invaded and I had to actually interact with my family. Jk, but im also sry about not updating mine, I will as soon as I figure what else he should do. And excellent Update Minque.


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Fuzzy Knight
post Jan 4 2006, 10:39 PM
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Catched up with your story again Minque... And this won't be any unique reply from me, as I've said many times - You're updates are great and that includes this one. You have the great ability to make everything natural, well written and you make your characters come so much alive I could touch them tongue.gif

So please continue with the update... You know I love your story biggrin.gif
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Burnt Sierra
post Jan 17 2006, 08:19 PM
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QUOTE(treydog @ Dec 31 2005, 04:17 PM)
In this brief installment we see many of the features that make this a great story: emotion, strength of character, Serene's determination to make her way in a new land, and touches of humor.

If you keep this up, I may be inspired to pick up my pen again, too.

Very nicely done, Minque.  Thank you for sharing your gift with us.
*



QUOTE(mplantinga @ Jan 2 2006, 06:42 PM)
You continually manage to outdo yourself. This last update was incredible; the depth of the emotions you describe was simply amazing. Thanks again for your hard work on this story.
*




Humph! dry.gif Remind me to comment earlier next time. Thats pretty much said it all.
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