Serene of Cyrodiil, her true story, chapter 1 Options

[Soulseeker3.0]

oh nothing its just i'm reading the searies and in it there are healers that kind of do the thing you wote in the healing part. they "feel" whats wrong with the patient. she (at least i think it is a she ) has a couple of books.

[jonajosa]

Alittle of topic but did you use mods to create your character. I've never seen a hooded cloak before? In fact i've never seen a person look like that in the entire game.
Anyway your story is going into great detail with the background of the character like override and treydog said. I would think though that putting your background in the begining of the story is a little diffrent than most storys(even though i did that with my story, sot of). Usally they have flashbacks during thier travels for the reader to understand the characters past. Not insulting your story or anything, its just diffrent... But im sure you can continue to make this a great story.
Once again, You did a very very good job for english not being your first language.

[milanius]

I haven`t red the story (yet) but since I`ve seen Serene`s pictures my heart is going aritmical I just wish I wasn`t a big, lumpy, room-sized daedric summonling with a paper bag on my head :paperbag2: :ashamed: well, off I go do some reading & sleeping afterwards... see ya tommorow !

[Soulseeker3.0]

I haven`t red the story (yet) but since I`ve seen Serene`s pictures my heart is going aritmical I just wish I wasn`t a big, lumpy, room-sized daedric summonling with a paper bag on my head :paperbag2:  :ashamed: well, off I go do some reading & sleeping afterwards... see ya tommorow !

LOL i just noticed that you had a bag on your head

[minque]

Alittle of topic but did you use mods to create your character. I've never seen a hooded cloak before? In fact i've never seen a person look like that in the entire game.  
Anyway your story is going into great detail with the background of the character like override and treydog said. I would think though that putting your background in the begining of the story is a little diffrent than most storys(even though i did that with my story, sot of). Usally they have flashbacks during thier travels for the reader to understand the characters past. Not insulting your story or anything, its just diffrent... But im sure you can continue to make this a great story.
Once again, You did a very very good job for english not being your first language.

Ok.. so the prologue showed that Serene in fact is writing down her story for the sake of her daughter. It´s like a self-biography, mark the title, .....her true story... something like the author of the self-biography of Princess Diana....mmm it was intentional!

About language oh well treydog has been my editor and kindly helped me to correct the worst mistakes.....

[Elongar]

I'm afraid I can't enlighten you but I can tell you that that was great! Keep up the good work and keep us all entertained! I'm enjoying it!

[milanius]

OK... first, sorry for the late reply - I red the story this morning and I`ve found it very good, but there are 2 things that are bothering me:
1. How come Serene never noticed the differences before the described event ? Sure, she was just a kid, but still she could be avare of those things, being that she`s as intelligent as she seems
2. Why did she overreact like that ? I don`t believe that puberty can explain everything - c`mon, she lived with her adopted mother and father for 16 years... yes, they were strict at times, but they loved her all that time and I believe that just walking out on them is a bit overkill poor mother of hers...

Sorry, Minque - these things are eating me up, but that shouldn`t bother you. In fact, it is some sort of proof that I liked the story VERY much (yeah, it sounds weird... but trust me) and would love to read more. Thanx for the understanding !

[minque]

OK... first, sorry for the late reply - I red the story this morning and I`ve found it very good, but there are 2 things that are bothering me:
1. How come Serene never noticed the differences before the described event ? Sure, she was just a kid, but still she could be avare of those things, being that she`s as intelligent as she seems  
2. Why did she overreact like that ? I don`t believe that puberty can explain everything - c`mon, she lived with her adopted mother and father for 16 years... yes, they were strict at times, but they loved her all that time and I believe that just walking out on them is a bit overkill poor mother of hers...

Sorry, Minque - these things are eating me up, but that shouldn`t bother you. In fact, it is some sort of proof that I liked the story VERY much (yeah, it sounds weird... but trust me) and would love to read more. Thanx for the understanding !

Oh thank you for your comments and naturally you deserve that I should try to explain:

1. You have to imagine a young girl living in the city, rather spoilt, well off, haven´t been missing anything. She´s always just been herself enough, and certainly not had the cause to doubt that not all was as it should be.....you know teenage-girls? Not always so attentive as they should be So maybe se never before even bothered about the difference between her mother and herself......or even noticed it

2. Yes she overreacted..naturally! She´s 16, and as I told you teenagers can react in very strange ways! Remember also that she has some magica deep inside her and therefore she has that feeling that there´s more to this than is apparent. She felt betrayed and also that lack of "belonging" that many people find very important. But I agree ..poor mother!!!

Also you may see the "red thread" in this a little later....

[minque]

As I slowly walked along the Nibenay River I thought about how this day had forever changed my life. I’d never go back to Vantinius Manor; I didn’t belong there anymore, not being the legitimate daughter of Rufus and Larissa. I also wondered why I never had any brothers and sisters…..Why would an Imperial General settle for only one heir? And that heir being a GIRL? Something was very wrong here and I couldn’t figure out what it was. I then noticed a flickering light to my left. My first thought was that my father’s men had found me, because I was sure they were sent out looking for me. No way would General Vantinius cope with the humiliation of a run-away daughter, even if that daughter was not of his own blood-line.

I quickly hid myself behind a gigantic cork-bulb plant growing beside the winding path. Not a sound could be heard, but the light was still there. I sneaked slowly towards it and then it was all clear… It was a lit-up window in a small shack and the flickering was just the trees waving in the chilly breeze….. I also by then knew what house it must be; I had found the Dunmer-settlement that was known to be somewhere in the Valley. Very few people actually knew about this little “village,” but as Ranya and I had become friends, she had told me about it. The Dunmers that inhabited this settlement were working in The City as underpaid semi-slaves, doing all the dirty work that the native Cyrodiils were too high-up to do. I remembered that I actually had been here, once or twice, together with Ranya, when I was a little girl, naturally in secret; my father would never allow me to mix with, as he used to say, “Minor races.”

When I entered the settlement I looked for the shack where Ranya´s family lived; at least they had met me and hopefully wouldn’t try to chase me away. As with all Dunmers there were a lot of people living in the same small building, so when I entered there were seven pairs of reddish eyes glaring at me with suspicion. I removed the hood of my robe to reveal my face.

“Serene!” Tamara, Ranya´s elder sister, flung herself up from her seat near the fire. “What in the name of Almalexia are you doing here? What’s happened to you? You look awful!”

“Thank you,” I replied with a twisted grin and felt the tears rising in my eyes, “now I know I’m with friends”

Tamara embraced me and held me tight to her chest while I cried my eyes out. When I calmed down a bit I thought of how wonderfully friendly these people were, considering they had not seen me for quite some years. I dried my face and sat down by the fire. It was early morning; the family had just started their breakfast and I was treated with what food and drink they had; hot Hackle-lo-tea, freshly made bread and some boiled ash-yam. Sitting there, warm and satisfied, I began to tell what happened to me last night. I watched the faces of the people around me- there was Tamara and four more of Ranya´s sisters, and their mother, all six with the beautiful red hair that obviously ran in the family, and another elderly woman who I didn’t recognize.

I spent the day in the hatch, resting, recovering from the events of yesterday. In the evening we all assembled by the fireplace, drinking strong tasty comberry-wine that made me very drunk and very sleepy….

When I woke up the following morning I had very vague memories from last night; I must have fallen asleep sitting by the fire. Now I was lying on a bedroll with a somewhat dirty blanket wrapped around me. The smell of Hackle-lo-tea brought me to my senses. Liana, one of Ranya´s younger sisters, brought me a cup and sat down beside me, watching me sadly. She told me that there had been some soldiers sneaking around the settlement during the night. “They were looking for you, Serene,” she said quietly and turned her face away from me. I nearly fainted when I heard this and cold sweat ran down my back and my mouth went completely dry. The thought of staying at the settlement for a couple of days, which was my original plan, was not an option anymore. I had to leave as soon as possible, so I gathered my things together, leaving the red bridal-robe behind as a thank-you for the hospitality shown to me.

Just as I was ready to exit the shack I heard terrible screaming from outside and with a crash the door was flung open and three bodies were cast inside. It was Tamara, her mother, and Kira, the youngest of the sisters. All three were badly injured, and covered with blood. I opened my mouth to ask what was going on when four imperial soldiers in heavy armour broke through the door, swords unsheathed. A distinct smell of cyrodiilic brandy filled the room and I instinctively dragged Liana to me and tried to shield her with my body

“So, there you are, Mistress Serene,” one of the soldiers took a step in my direction, with his hand stretched out to grab me. “The filthy bastards thought they’d get a neat ransom for kidnapping you, huh, but no way, they’re going to pay for this…..in blood!”

I then was grateful for my ability to sneak because as the drunken soldier was speaking I managed to get hold of the steel dagger that we used for cutting the bread last night.

“Stay away from me,” I shouted, pointing the dagger at the soldier’s belly. ”Just leave me alone!”

The soldier hesitated for a moment, then turned to his companions, laughing, “See boys, there we go……going to have some fun with that one huh?”

I tried to keep my hand steady, but I was shaking vigorously, sweat running down my back as I slowly moved sideways, to see what had happened to my Dunmer friends.

The soldiers argued among themselves about what they were going to do next; apparently they had different opinions, and were terribly drunk….

I kneeled by the three wounded Dunmer women and saw that Tamara and her mother were not breathing anymore; their throats were cut from side to side. Kira, on the other hand, seemed not to have been injured until I saw the blood emerging from between her legs. She had been severely molested, and she was only 7 years old. In unthinking rage I threw myself on to the nearest soldier and buried the dagger deep in his neck. With a roar he slowly sank to the floor with me still clinging to his back.

Then sheer hell broke loose. I luckily lost consciousness- maybe that saved me from going totally insane. The next thing I remember was pain, the most terrible pain I ever encountered. I was lying in a carriage on a dirty blanket that smelled of unspeakable things. The carriage was tossing and turning and I turned my head aside and vomited. With every movement of the carriage, the pain made me wish I could die, or at least pass out. I could feel that some of my ribs were broken; every breath caused the ends to dig into my lungs, and a deep cut in my left arm made it useless; but worst of all, my body below the waist was on fire, abused and tormented…..I could imagine what they’d done to me. Just before I finally passed out again, I wondered what had happened to my Dunmer friends and why nobody tried to save us…. And then, I happened to see the face of one of my tormentors, and that filled me with sheer horror…..I couldn’t believe it was him…

“Uncle Varus!” The words that came from my wounded lips were a bare whisper, but he looked at me with loathing and hatred from the back of his horse, and I knew I’d made a most powerful enemy.

[Soulseeker3.0]

wow good job minque i fell sorry for the dunmer, and Serene.

[milanius]

I feel... sorrow. Sorrow and rage, the two companions, they walk together, hand in hand, hovering above poor Serene`s head. Please Minque, tell me that we`ll have a Beatrix Kidou bloodbath-style revenge in the end... please ?

[treydog]

Moving scenes- I have always said that "art" is something that makes us feel. Not necessarily feel good- but feel changed or sad or angry. By that definition, this is art. And a good story, besides.

[General Edor Crespin]

Nice job, minque. Two thumbs up.

[Elongar]

:goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob: Make that three thumbs up from me! That was what you might call "shocking".

[minque]

The next time I opened my eyes I encountered darkness. I found myself lying on a bed-like thing on a filthy mattress. I didn’t see anything at first but when my eyes got used to the weak light I noticed that I had to be in a cell. Damp stony walls, the worn bed I was lying on and the compulsory bucket in the corner. The smell was …well, interesting.

I tried carefully to move, first my head from side to side, then my arms. The left arm was still hurting me and the sleeve of my shirt was soaked with blood. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate all energy to the wound. By doing that I also got my mind off the dull pain in the lower part of my body. It was hard this time; I was totally worn out by the last hour’s events. Then I felt the arm getting warm, and I noticed the bleeding had stopped. Now I just would need some marshmerrow and wick wheat to close the cut and heal it…..Very possible that would be in my current situation! In the meantime I unwrapped the belt from my waist- it was made of a broad piece of cloth so I could easily tear off a strip and tie it tight on my arm.

The broken ribs would heal easier, I just had to lie still and try to focus on the ribs as I slept; oh how grateful I was to Marthona who taught me of all these healing skills! She used to say that I had the “gift”…and also claimed that there must be a drop of Elfish blood in me somehow…..

Well I wouldn’t know about that anyway, but thinking of my origin made the tears run again and I didn’t want to cry anymore, wouldn’t give the legionnaires the pleasure of seeing me broken.

Then the door was flung open and a young boy entered the cell with a tray in his hands.
“Some food for you mistress Serene” he said and looked away from me. Well I must look really awful then, if my guards didn’t even dare to put eyes on me. The food was gruesome- some watery soup with something undefineable floating around in it, and a piece of bread, shaggy with green mould. My hunger, though, was greater than my distaste for the food, so I ate it all.

Why the boy had called me “Mistress”…..maybe my father had arrived; it should be common knowledge by now that I was imprisoned. Oh what a dishonour to him having an illegitimate daughter who also had committed murder…

I fell asleep…..concentrating on my broken ribs…

The next morning I felt a lot stronger. When trying to take a deep breath I didn’t feel the broken ribs dig into my lungs anymore…..so my healing skills were functioning quite well! I did wish I had my alchemy- gear and my collection of herbs and plants with me…because I realised that I had to do something about the other bleeding. It had slowed, but not stopped and my trousers and the mattress were soaked with blood.

Breakfast was as delicious as last night, only this time it wasn’t brought to me by a young shy legionnaire but by my Uncle Varus!!

The time has come to tell you about my Uncle Varus. Rufus and Varus Vantinius were brought up in the Imperial City by their parents, Julianos and Antonia, to honourably serve the Emperor and the Imperial Legion. Both boys were ambitious and became skilled soldiers. But when it came to social matters, Rufus was the most successful, for he was attractive to women, strong, honest, intelligent, considerate and most of all he had the looks! He could converse with anyone about anything, he read books, took an interest in music, theatre, and all cultural events going on in the City. And so he found Larissa and got married, purchased a stately mansion and continued a full social life. His personal courage and good works made him highly respected in the Legion as well as among the citizens. He was even running for councillor’s election this year.

Varus, on the other hand, was not at all intellectual, took no interests in any cultural events, and did not read books…he was an arrogant and highly skilled warrior, that’s all. Women were attracted to him at first, for he was also rather handsome, but the relationships didn’t ever last. Underneath the good looks lurked a cruel and jealous spirit. Therefore he envied his brother Rufus for having achieved a home, a wife and…..a child; me!
The rumours said that he used to beat the women when they didn’t do exactly as he said, or if he was just in the mood for beating somebody.

I believed that rumour as I looked up in my Uncle’s face when he came into my cell that chilly morning.

He stared at me with cold blue eyes and an expression of loathing on his face. Then he snapped his fingers and an elderly woman entered. My eyes widened…it was a Dunmer woman…why on earth would the Legion have Dunmer working for them?

“See to it that this…this person will be presentable for the trial this afternoon,” he ordered the woman.

She nodded and approached me. Even if she was affected by the state I was in, she didn’t show it at all. She had brought sload-soap, fresh water, and some fragrant herbs and plants. I’ve said before…a little hygiene does wonders for me. I was neatly washed, my wounds were treated with medical herbs, and, the best of all, my bleeding was arrested. She dressed me in a clean shirt and skirt and added a brown woollen robe that made me feel warm and fairly comfortable considering the situation. Through it all, Uncle Varus stared at me coldly and with hatred.

When I was finished he handed a bottle to the Dunmer woman and growled,

“Give her this to drink.”

His voice was harsh and sounded evil. I hesitated at first; usually I don’t drink potions I don’t know the effects of, but this one smelled rather good and I was thirsty….

After swallowing the unknown potion I first experienced a warm nice feeling in my throat and the taste was also very nice…..but then!! My tongue seemed to grow and stuck to my palate; I couldn’t move it…and could not utter one word!!
When I looked at the Dunmer I saw she was crying…so I now understood I was enchanted with a Silence spell, I wouldn’t be able to defend or even speak for myself at the trial…..
What a terrible set-up! When I looked at Uncle Varus, I saw an evil grin on his face and I knew I was doomed……..

[OverrideB1]

This is excellent Minque. I'm really enjoying this and look forwards to the next installment.

[milanius]

GRRRR :evil5: I feel like munching on some sewered Imperial heads right now...

[treydog]

I like the fact that we have an "enemy" to focus upon besides Dagoth Ur. Varus is a rotten human being and I hope our girl will have the opportunity to make him suffer.

Wonderfully written, with a good feel for the characters as people, not just a means to move the plot forward.

More please.

[jonajosa]

Amazing. Your characters personalitys are done really well. Can't wait for the next one.

[Soulseeker3.0]

i liuke your characters, well, not her uncle Varus Great job minque