Silver's Parody Parabola Options

[Silver]

Episode 1

"Welcome, friend, to the Imperial City!"

What a cheery guard, Silvaem thought to himself, giving the armoured fellow a short wave of his own in greeting. He was all ready to get into the city, this marvelous and sparkling city. It was his first time to the capital, afterall and it did a fair job of striking awe of the Alyids' ability into him, what a palace the Emperor lived in! The great gate ground open slowly, and with widening eyes he took in the finely cobblestoned and buzy streets, people rushing hither an thither with guards standing at rapt attention upon each street corner.

He managed to get all of a few steps in. "Err, you there!", said the previously happy guard, now sounding quite serious, if not downright sever. "You are under arrest for... um.", "For what?!" Silvaem exclaimed quizically, not waiting for a responce beforing jumping into a rant, "I haven't done a bloody thing! I've only just got here! What on Nirn could I have done? Accidentally stepped on the Emperor's biscuit that he had dropped? I would not dare to believe that royalty participates in the five second rule!"

The guard, needless to say, was flabbergasted by this outburst and stared blanky at the raging mer for a another half-minute, as the pitch began to rise, until it gained a nasal quality. "Well, hells, I'm only doing my thing. Advancing the story and all, you need conflict for it to move!" It was Silvaem's turn to feel a wave of confusion, "What story?" He asked slowly, dreading the anwser. "The main stor... ah! You almost caught me there, giving away secrets. It's what us guards do, you know. Learn secrets. Alas, enough of this, you need to be in the dungeon within the hour, or you'll be late! It happens at night, you see, and the moon needs to be just right..."

"Just a moment, I thought it was morning?", this new comment drew a painful look across the guard's face, known universally as ; Why did I bother getting up this morning? He sighed to himself. "Just watch." He gestured grandly with his armoured fist, giving it a flowery flourish. "Later that day!" He boomed, and the sun sank past the horizon suddenly, and Silvaem found himself locked in a dank, smelly cell and the end of a block, with only a dark elf in the cell across from him for company. What a miserable fellow, he only pretends to be happy to lure people in!

"Hey, hey you!" The Dunmer called across at him, rudely no less. Silvaem felt drawn to stand closer to the cell door, and found that he couldn't bare to move away. "I've got a great insult for ya! Soon as I remember what the insult for a mer, like you is... what are you a-" The rude fellow was cut off, as the dungeon door creaked open, letting the legendary Blades in, as they hurried down to his cell. "This is the one, right?" The leading Blade, a Redguard, asked the other. "Yes, yes. See? There's the prisoner that's not supposed to be there and everything!" The dumner fell into a fit, making angry little sounds and hitting his head against the wall. "I'm n... And n... new g... Stupid... da..."

The Blades pushed him back to a corner, as if he could possibly harm them! The best swordsmen, and upon noticing the female captain, swordswomen, around! He was all ready to stay there, and wait for them to leave, maybe sneak down this secret tunnel that they were opening, after they were gone. Try not to bother anyone and all. Fate ruined this plan, of course, and the Emporer himself chose to talk to him! The dumner had a fit of apoloxy, of which later it was found that he died from.

Turns out Uriel was getting a bit senile in his old age, talking about dreams and fates... Silvaem's eye twitched as the last Septim turned to leave. "I just realized what's going on!" The mer shouted excitiedly, "I'm the star of my own Elder Scroll, some divine author has chosen me to be the savior of Nirn!" He was cut short as a few of the Mythic Dawn assassins showed up too early, the Blades didn't react ; they were buzy figuring out how this would all work now, and Silvaem was shot in the throat in the interm. With a crossbow that had been salvaged off a boat that had mysteriously found it's way from Khuul, Vvardenfell, to just outside the Imperial City, with only a single naked Nord left alive onboard, who was screaming something about a cupcake.

What a way for the hero to die... He shed a little tear, for the sheer inepitude of the storyline crashing so quickly, before rematerializing back, about five minutes prior and his cell door was closed and locked again, with no sign that anyone had entered recently. "W-what's going on?" He stammered outloud, ignoring Uriel, as the Emporer began on his dreams again. This time they made it into the passage without Mythic Dawn barging in innapropriatly, and soon he was following them through the sewer, jumping and eeping at every loud noise or sudden movement. Oh, why did I have to get picked for an adventure? I'm not cut out for this!

[Silver]

Episode 2

Silvaem leaned back in his padded chair, his attention rivetted to the spectacular sunset that was made by one of the two moons ecclipsing the sun just as it touched the horizon. He sipped his flin appreciatively, before placing it upon the small table beside him, and raising his arms to rest behind his head, before his darling wife, oh a beautiful mer she was, came out of thier modest tower, only four stories of perfectly polished dwemer metal salvaged from Vvardenfell at fair expense, and laid beside him on the chair, as the light faded into dusky twilight....

A splash of water echoing brought him straight back to reality. "What do you mean back to reality!? That was re-..." Back to reality, after his Hero's Union mandatory flin break, "Ooh... Right."

As it was, he was ten feet under the Imperial city, and carefully making his way along the ancient stones of this waterduct made in eons past, the Blades stomping along a bit ahead of him, closed about the Emperor in a wall of steel. They made it through sevral passages without anything of great note happening, no Silv, your foot getting wet is not important. They came to a broad, open room, with a small stair case in the middle, a ramp next to it, and pillars intersperced throughout it. The Mythic Dawn were back, though they had lost that god-forbidden crossbow. It seemed the Nord had killed one of them with a cupcake this time around, before the ship began levitating and threw itself somewhere off to the north.

The assassins and Blades clashed furiously, swords rang as the struck one another, shields bashed into faces, as each of Uriel's guards fought three enemies a piece, all but one winning thier fights, the woman, Captain... something, he missed her name. He thought it best to liberate her body of the two nicely made blades, a fine katana, and a little steel shortsword. Happy as could be, he continued on with following them. Well, as happy as you cold be, in a decript dirty old aquaduct. Just as he thought they could make it out together just fine, one of the Blades, the Redguard, turned to him. "I'll be having that sword back." He reluctantly handed the katana to him, "You can keep that shortsword... and now, you have to stay here. Don't try to follow us." And with that, the survivng Blades headed through a cage-door, which closed behind them, and despite not having a handle or keyhole, managed to lock itself quite firmly.

This is about as low as anyone can get, locked in a sewer, by myself..., Silvaem thought to himself, sitting down drearily to decide what he was supposed to do next. By some mad twist of fate, the wall collapsed by th efforts of a few rats, and he spent the next few minutes prancing about and flailing wildy at the rodents. "Wait... how did rats knock over part of the wall, when I can't even get through a little door?" AFTER he defeated the rats, he entered the gap that was created an... "Now wait just a minute! Why would I want to do that? I mean, the rats got through there somehow, so there must be a whole nest or something on the other side? And I HATE rats!"

Seemingly driven to enter the hole, he does, finding no den of rats on the other side. "Oh! That's wonderful!" Though after killing the occasional rodent, and munching on an apple that fell through a grate above, and making his way through a few passages, he spotted a goblin! It was covered in grime, with a obnoxious nose, big hands and squinting eyes, a fine specimen of it's race, it's skin the colour of old snot, covered in a thin coat of dirt, wearing only little loincloth and a skullcap. "Ugh, nasty little creature." Silvaem murmured to himself, "Oi! Me no nasty, stupid..." He slit it's throat by absolute surprise, and it fell back into it's cooking fire, skin bubbling and popping gruesomely. "Oh dear..." Silvaem couldn't stand the horrible smell of it, so he quickly went along his way.