Serene of Cyrodiil, chapter 2 "A New Start" Options

[minque]

Just a little intermission to my loyal readers waiting 4 chapter 3, which is in progress and probably will come up next week ..... :goodjob:


In the meantime I´d like to show you some of the charachters I´ve been telling about


Thavere
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v613/min...tdayThavere.bmp

Silt-strider driver
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v613/min...inseydaNeen.bmp

[Wolfie]

lol you may want to fix those links Minque

[minque]

hmm I did it should be ok now, thought the pics should appear in the post...it used to be like that before

[Burnt Sierra]

[quote=minque]hmm I did it should be ok now, thought the pics should appear in the post...it used to be like that before [/quote]

They're working fine. Looking it too. All we need now is some words to go along with em

[Soulseeker3.0]

not bad

[Fuzzy Knight]

Great Minque :goodjob: You write very nice, keep on writing!

S.G.M. :lickinglips:

[jchamber]

I like those links, I don't know what s.gm. means but I think it is safe to say it is something congratulatory, which is why I say....Ditto.

[jchamber]

image link from chapt 3, spoiler alert(this comment acctually regarding chapter 3)

I like this picture but i couldn't reply on the chapter three thread b/c it was closed for some reason...I will prolly see it in the next couple hours. The weird thing is that while you encounter this character in the eight plates, the photo is placed across from Arrille's Tradehouse in seyda neen. You lost me for a bit during the flashback while I wrote pages and pages of my own story, but I loved everything else I read.

[minque]

image link from chapt 3, spoiler alert(this comment acctually regarding chapter 3)

I like this picture but i couldn't reply on the chapter three thread b/c it was closed for some reason...I will prolly see it in the next couple hours.  The weird thing is that while you encounter this character in the eight plates, the photo is placed across from Arrille's Tradehouse in seyda neen.  You lost me for a bit during the flashback while I wrote pages and pages of my own story, but I loved everything else I read.

First I deleted your posts with no content!

Then I´ll explain the picture, it was just meant to show how Sedrane looks like, it has nothing to do with the fact that Serene met him for the first time in Eight Plates!

The flash-back was a piece from her past.....she was dreamiing sort of....(you meant the one from the ritual at the dunmeri settlement I suppose?)

I´m glad you like my story anyway....
Oh and chapter 3 was so long that the thread was full! but feel free to comment in this thread!

[jchamber]

thanks for getting rid of those empty ones... Is there a way I could have gotten rid of them? couldn't find a way....yea that flashback to the settlement I knew what was going on but my A.D.D. was starting to kick in and I just couldn't concentrate on reading anymore, but after a few hours of writing I came back and was better.

In regards to chapt. 3 how much info makes a thread full? I primarily ask b/c I want to leave some room in the storie threads I am writing. it seems like it is 200 replies, in which case just means that I shouldn't worry about the length of each segment, but rather just limit the number of segments per thread...is that right?

This post has been edited by jchamber: Feb 13 2006, 10:18 PM

[minque]

thanks for getting rid of those empty ones... Is there a way I could have gotten rid of them? couldn't find a way....yea that flashback to the settlement I knew what was going on but my A.D.D. was starting to kick in and I just couldn't concentrate on reading anymore, but after a few hours of writing I came back and was better.

In regards to chapt. 3 how much info makes a thread full?  I primarily ask b/c I want to leave some room in the storie threads I am writing. it seems like it is 200 replies, in which case just means that I shouldn't worry about the length of each segment, but rather just limit the number of segments per thread...is that right?

Threads are locked when they reach the number of 200 posts. So don´t worry that much about the length of every post, but still too long posts are hard to read!

I suggest you make one thread per chapter!

So what is your over-all opinion on Serene...so far?

[Kiln]

You know what we could use with all this new talent floating around W4O? An update on Serene's story.

[minque]

You know what we could use with all this new talent floating around W4O?  An update on Serene's story.

Awwww.....I know I´ve been sooo lazy lately!.....And I´m sorry....but I will update soon....a kind of plot is whirling around in my head......so please bear with me, I will update!

[jchamber]

well in the last couple of days I have read through months of your writing from the very begining of serene's not-so-sweet sixteen and am at the end of the 8th page of the thrid chapter, and there have been a couple points where I felt a little pulled out of the story from where a description was a little game-mechanicy sounding, but it was always just a word or two per like, ....4 posts or something, but it has inspired me to go back through all the stuff I have written so far and do some editing for immersion and detail...like I didn't like how my character had a reluctance to see people as targets but as soon as he had a sword lost that quality..ther are other things too, I am sure it will be an improvement after I update it, so be sure to watch for changes, I am going to go through the stuff I haven't posted yet too so that it is better at the first post than my current set. I was just overexcited and forgot the details in a typeing frenzy.

Thus far I absolutely love your writing, but I found some stuff getting reptitive, like when she starts getting more emotional after being 'hardened body and mind' by her time with the imperial legion. well let me sum it up this way....I was talking to my cousin on the phone last night and told him that of the professtional fiction under fiction/fantasy that I have read you rank right up with Orsen Scott Card, author of a couple book series I really liked who also is a gamer who helped with the storyline on advent children, if you are familiar...never played it myself. Another author I made a comparison to was R.L Stine, author of some half a dozen of dozens of books (over 72) that was adddictive when I was younger, I said that you were equal to him in ability if not better, and I meant it. Truly...congratulations on an excellent peice, I only wish I had time enough to sit and read it more hours a day.

[Remko]

Very nice chapter. Nkcely done with Serene running into Tarhiel and the Tax-collector before they.... ah well, you know.

I also noticed some similarities between your Serene and my Rales Sarethi (all coincidental!!) like Hogithum being their birthday and a certain incident with a crab.

Chapter 3, here I come!