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> Order Vampyrum: Daughter of Coldharbour
Acadian
post Sep 13 2019, 07:58 PM
Post #21


Paladin
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Joined: 14-March 10
From: Las Vegas



The pair of vampires found plenty, but not the succulent bandits they had hoped to find for feeding.

Nice job of showing us Raven’s keen vampiric senses in several ways during their travel.

’This was me not so long ago, I thought. During that ceremony.’
- - a chilling detail indeed. ohmy.gif

Well, there goes the neighborhood, as distant vampiric cousins come squatting on Decumus Castle lands. This is quite concerning to the noble siblings I’m sure since their family works so hard to mask their nature and live among mortal neighbors without complications or interference.

It seems like Draken and Raven must become Vampire Slayers. wink.gif


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SubRosa
post Sep 13 2019, 08:38 PM
Post #22


Ancient
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Joined: 14-March 10
From: Between The Worlds



I found a good song to listen to while reading this story

I loved your description of Raven sensing the night and its denizens in all their tessellated glory.

There was also the fact that feeding was messy and bloodstains were easier to hide on dark fabrics
I loved this bow to practicality. White is definitely a bad color for vampires. Unless they have a lot of bleach...

Raven's observations about her brother are quite telling.

Potema! An excellent name for a mount!

I have a feeling this is going to be a very bad night for that vampiric fiend!


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BretonBlood
post Yesterday, 05:08 PM
Post #23


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Simply amazing! Easily the best chapter yet! Watching Raven and her brilliant mind piece together what was bothering Draken was amazing, and I loved the bit about how she goes into his room and just examines everything without touching it because there is still much to be learned from what you see. Brilliant!

Again, your description of their vampiric nature doesn't fail to impress, seeing Raven's senses and how much she really takes in was spectacular.

For a minute I thought that maybe they were dealing with a werewolf since the body was torn to shreds with claw marks, though I assumed they would smell a werewolf, but then if it was a werewolf the house would have been way more destroyed. Then of course we discover the culprit right at the end! With his hideous appearance one has to wonder what strain of vampirism is he??


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- Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 18th September 2019 - 06:48 PM