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> Prisoner Number 54
ED 209
post Jun 2 2005, 07:30 PM
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Author's Note My name is Eddy, this is my first post, my first important one at least. This story might be a bit confusing, (because it's from the point of view of a crazy person), but if you'll bear with me, we'll find out more about our hero, hopefully you'll like this and if you do, then this will be the first of many chapters, if not then we'll have to say bye-bye to our new hero, well, without further adieu, let's get started, enjoy!



Prisoner Number 54

"...four hundred and seventy-eight, four hundred and seventy-seven, four hundred and seventy-six, four hundred and seventy-five, four hundred and seventy-four..."
Number 54 was getting excited, he could feel his heart rate speeding up as he counted down.
"...three hundred and ninety eight, three hundred and ninety-seven, three hundred and ninety-six..."
He started to feel sweat formin on the palms of his hands, he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep still
"...one hundred and twelve, one hundred and eleven, one hundred and ten..."
Number 54 could hear iron meet stone as the familiar thud of heavy boots hit the ground down the corridor. The thump of the boots was echoed by the thump of 54's heart in his chest.
"...seven, six, five, four, three, two, one."
It was time!
"54,! Get up"
"Yes Guard, as you say"
"You look disgusting 54, your hair is horrible looking and your teeth are yellow"
"Yes indeed sir, couldn't agree more sir."
"Shutup 54, your breath is awful"
54's best friend 'Guard' handed him a bowl full of delicious thick white/beige liquid and some greenish bread that was nice and hard.
"Thank you Guard, I'll see you soon."
54 ate quickly and happily until all of his food was gone. Now it was time to lie down. 54 quite enjoyed his lie downs, during which, seconds flew by and he seemed to lose all sense of being for a time. He liked it because it sped up the time between Guard's visits.

54 knew every little bit of his room, every nook and every cranny, yet he still revelled in exploring its walls and ceilings with his bony fingers. There was one occasion, millions of seconds before, when a small furry thing with a long tail like Guard's whip entered the room. 54 grabbed it and tried for many thousands of seconds to communicate with his new friend but to no avail. It seemed to gradually become smaller and smaller in his grip, its hair turning from dark brown to grey, its movements few and far between until it eventually stopped moving in his hands. Still 54 held the thing and was most entertained as flies began to take an interest in it. After a long long time, the thing was gone. All but a tough, white inner frame shaped like the creature remained. When he realised that the thing was not going to change anymore, he decided to eat the frame. It was hard, and it did not taste very nice.

And so Number 54's life continued on as it always had and always would, lots and lots of seconds, punctuated sporadically by Guard's visits. Until one day, a large, red-faced man named Caius came to see 54.
"Hello," he said "I've some excellent news, you are free to go!"
"I'm sorry, I don't understand, go where?"
"Go..home 54."
"I am home."
"You don't understand, you have to leave this place, you have to go."
54 chuckled slightly, but hid it well so as not to offend his guest.
"It is you Caius who does not understand, this is where I am, I am bound to this place and this place to me. I have always been here and will always be, there is nowhere else, now if you'll excuse me, I must prepare myself, my friend is visiting in about eleven thousand seconds. Good day!"

Caius looked confused and also somewhat saddened by 54's replies. 54, for his part was in a fairly cheery mood but was becoming impatient with his guest. Caius leafed through some papers, occasionally glancing at his host whowas busy counting down to Guard's next visit.
"What's your name 54?"
"My name is 54"

Caius looked at the old man. He exhaled heavily and said;
"There are no records of your arrest here, no name, nothing. Who are you 54? What did you do? Where is your family"
"I am Number 54, I believe I've been quite clear about that, I have done little that would interest such an impatient man as yourself and i'm terribly sorry but I don't know what you mean by family, now if you don't mind I would appreciate some peace."
Number 54 was becoming quite angry with Caius at this stage.
"Look here," Caius began, "your name is not 54, you are not from this prison and I am here to take you away. The guards say you're no longer a threat to us."
"I am not leaving here, there is no place else, this place is for me and me alone, I cannot simply occupy anotherplace, I am not in that position, also, I have never been a threat to anyone and his name is Guard."
"Guards, come in here." Caius called.
"It's Guard." snarled 54.

It was then that 54's whole life changed forever. Guard came to the door, but there was two of him, one had a beard, the other had none. It took a little bit of time before 54 realised what was happening. "You've taken Guard, where is he, what have you done to him?" 54 growled and leapt like a wild cat onto one of the doppelgangers. The other one clubbed him in the back but Number 54 was quite accustomed to this kind of attention so he went unphased. 54 dug his long, sharp nails into the doppelgangers throat and squeezed all the air from his body. He got up off of him and turned his attention to the remaining 'Guard', Caius had vanished, using some strange piece of paper. The two eyed each other as the doppelganger fingered the hilt of his shortsword. With lightning fast reflexes, Number 54 grabbed the man's swordhand with one hand and his neck with the other. He choked the doppelganger until he too was lying dead on the floor.

After contemplating for a number of seconds, Number 54 decided to search every place in his building for Guard, and every place that existed if necessary. While searching the other places in the building, 54 came across a number of other doppelgangers. These proved no match for Number 54 as his hands seemed to recall a sword finesse they never had. The building didn't house Guard. 54 searched every inch of the place. The doppelgangers had taken him elsewhere, but Number 54 would find him. He would find his friend if it took him a thrillion seconds. Nothing was going to stop him, nothing.
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Dantrag
post Jun 2 2005, 08:45 PM
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awesome - a psychotic prisoner!! great idea, and good storytelling.


:goodjob:


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treydog
post Jun 2 2005, 08:51 PM
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Good work in the description of "54's" view of reality. It will be interesting to see what becomes of him.
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MerGirl
post Jun 2 2005, 09:16 PM
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Interesting! smile.gif I'm liking this character. Good writing and I hope you update, pweeese? :goodjob: *giggles* Doppelgangers. Good one. smile.gif
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Channler
post Jun 2 2005, 10:43 PM
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That was weird, but kinda sad and funny too.. Awsome all together though, keep up, I really want to see what happens to Number 54


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MerGirl
post Jun 2 2005, 11:50 PM
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[quote=Channler]That was weird, but kinda sad and funny too.. Awsome all together though, keep up, I really want to see what happens to Number 54[/quote]

I know... Poor little 54... He better not die on me! Or I won't give the author any cake! smile.gif
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Veltan
post Jun 3 2005, 05:41 PM
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From: Worshipping Sheogorath



Wow, this is really weird.
Really interesting point of view, I hope you post more soon:)


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I'm just killing time
until my doomsday.

There's no reason or rhyme
to what they sooth-say.


p.s. Even though my website is called Teltano, Veltan was already taken.
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Wolfie
post Jun 3 2005, 08:10 PM
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REally weird, but cool to see the star of the story as a psycopath lol biggrin.gif


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D�anaim smaoineamh, d� bhr� sin, t�im ann - Descartes

Only the dead have seen the end of war ~ Plato

Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed. - G.K. Chesterton

EnsamVarg
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Konji
post Jun 3 2005, 08:17 PM
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need...more...story....*gasp*


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Chumbaniya
post Jun 3 2005, 08:33 PM
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That was a really good little read! Why is fiction always better when it's written about insane people? Hmm....


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"It's a party. It doesn't have to make sense" - Homer
"To alcohol - the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems" - Homer
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Aki
post Jun 3 2005, 10:54 PM
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Wow, that was interesting, weird, sad, and funny.

Very cool. :goodjob:


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"Youve put up a good fight, but Im through playing. Now Im going to kick your [censored] and tell of my glory under the next full moon. Die well.

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minque
post Jun 6 2005, 06:40 PM
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Hmm Interesting and unusual, really a good approach, so it would be very nice with an update now..... biggrin.gif :goodjob: :goodjob: :goodjob:


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Chomh fada agus a bhionn daoine ah creiduint in aif�iseach, leanfaidh said na n-aingniomhi a choireamh (Voltaire)

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Red
post Jun 6 2005, 08:58 PM
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Great story there, I really want to hear more of 54.


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//LEFT ARM PULLS TRIGGER, RIGHT ARM SHRUGS SHOULDER//TRANSMISSION ENDED
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ED 209
post Jul 28 2005, 08:57 PM
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Ok, sorry everybody but I have absolutely no idea where to go with this story so I probably won't be writing another chapter. If anyone has any ideas feel free to pm me and if they are used I'll give you full credit. Sorry again.
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Konji
post Jul 28 2005, 09:20 PM
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shame.


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Kiln
post Jul 28 2005, 09:40 PM
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Too bad...the first part was really funny. sad.gif


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He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. - Friedrich Nietzsche
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Florodine of Hlaalu
post Aug 3 2005, 07:58 PM
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I really liked it, prisoner number 54, was so inncent, his not knowing that the guard was actually being mean to him really brought to life his cluless character, actually i found that after reading it i felt bad for number 54's world being turned upside down. I strongly encourage you to continue, but if you don't it also makes a good short story
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Dreamer
post Apr 18 2006, 10:47 AM
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I remember reading this one a good while back, how come there haven't been any more of them written?
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Konji
post Apr 18 2006, 11:02 AM
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To tell the truth, any update would just take away from the hook that it had. It was a good way to end.

Also..who are you? You seem to to have done and known everything, yet you only joined today.


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Dreamer
post Apr 18 2006, 12:08 PM
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QUOTE(Konradude @ Apr 18 2006, 11:02 AM)
Also..who are you? You seem to to have done and known everything, yet you only joined today.
*



Oh, sorry, I forgot to post an introduction. I read a lot on this fourm and I've been playing Morrowind for about two years, and I just said I might as well start posting...so here I am...why?
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