The Evaluation Options

[Dantrag]

Another story about someone else's character. I hope you enjoy it,

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"Yadda blah bleh moo moo Guild Evaluation blah yadda wee! ." Edwinna warned.

The half-dunmer had a hard time understanding the woman - flin affected him like that, especially after twelve bottles. He did, however, hear "Guild Evaluation," which was never a good thing. Once a year the guild cut members that were no longer "contributing to the search for knowledge."

"Did you hear me, Anthanes?" Edwinna asked, obviously it wasn't the first time she had, either.

"You know what?." He asked, his voice slurred. "Yadda blah back to you!" with that he stormed out of the guild. Before he shut the door behind him though, he shouted, "Moo!"

He closed the door and soon realized that twelve flins wasn't enough; he didn't see himself falling over yet. He walked into the bar and ordered a flin. And another. And another. The bartender was in a mischevious mood and began putting a bit of moon sugar in the half-dunmer's drink drinks...

Soon, he was dancing with pretty maids, throwing his own specially made "flame potions" at the Temple, and paralyzing a silt strider - one leg at a time. He even got so bold as to streak through Under-Skar while yelling something about cliffracers.

The next morning, he awoke to find himself in his normal room with a splitting headache. The evaluation! He would fail! He racked his brain frantically for something, anything to present...he noticed a scrawled parchment on the table beside him, it was obviously a spell, and even written in his own handwriting! It looked like some sort of summon spell, but didn't have time to examine it further.

Frantically, he snatched it and walked into the chamber where the committee of elder mages sat. They had cut every single member before him, so Anthanes wasn't feeling too good about the drunken spell....

"Anthanes." Edwinna called. "Moo wee! Blah blooooooooo."

Anthanes' eyes widened. What time was it? Was he still drunk? He cleared his throat and began his introduction.

"Last night, I revolutionized the way we view summons." he said, reading as fast as he could to find out what the spell actually did....What was that last word? It was an abbreviation, he realized. C.R.H. what could that be? Clannfear Reign on High? Caldera Rates Houses? What kind of ideas were these? What was a moo? So many questions, and so little time...

"I'll just show you." he said, giving up on figuring out what the spell was. He began the incantations.

After he said it, he realized exactly what it was. Was it even possible? He hoped it was, so he wouldn't look like a complete idiot...wait, he would look like a complete idiot either way.

Anthanes closed his eyes as the summoned creatures appeared, especially after figuing out what C.R.H. was - cliffracer horde. Anthanes heard the screams of the mages as they frantically tried to get away from the marauding monsters.

When the screams stopped, he opened one eye, only to see giant cliffracers flying around the guild hall, slapping the elder mages with their tails. The mages frantically cast spells at them, but none worked.

That's curious... Anthanes thought, looking at the written spell. Oh, I made the summoned creature impervious to magic. I must have been really drunk.

He quietly slipped out the door and waited for the commotion to die down before walking back inside.

"Anthanes..." Edwinna said, sublimating her rage. "You are hereby given dish washing duty for a month. Unfortunately, I had to pass you on the evaluation because you are the first person to summon a creature with a resist magicka ability."

Kitchen duty? I think not - time to go to the Rat in the Pot and get some flin. Maybe I can invent another ground-breaking spell. he thought as he walked away from Edwinna whistling a jolly tune.

"Anthanes!" Edwinna yelled.

"Moo!" Anthanes yelled, closing the door.

This post has been edited by Dantrag: Aug 14 2005, 05:23 AM

[Kiln]

Oh man...very funny story, matches Anthanes personality perfectly.

[Neck' Thall]

I Love the cl*has to wait five minutes to stop laughing*iffracers with resist magica!!!

This post has been edited by Neck' Thall: Aug 14 2005, 05:15 AM

[Kiln]

Yes...summon cliff racers would be horrible...I couldn't quit laughing...I thought it was hilarious.

[Dantrag]

Weird, cause I was going to scrap the story because of its lack of humor...

But if you guys think it's funny, I'm glad I didn't.

[Kiln]

Maybe I just have a weird since of humor...I thought it was good...I liked when he realised twelve bottles of flin wasn't enough...and the summon cliff racer thing wasn't expected...thats why it was funny.

This post has been edited by Kiln: Aug 14 2005, 05:37 AM

[Aki]

Very funny.

"Moo!"

[Burnt Sierra]

Oh that was excellent. I thoroughly enjoyed that, very witty indeed.

[BobV]

Captured him perfectly.

[minque]

Woah!!! Anthanes in a nutshell!! Great Dantrag....you are our new parody-writer...we want

MOOOOORE!!!!

[gamer10]

No, that cakes not for you, it's for me.

This one is for you -

Good story.

This post has been edited by gamer10: Aug 14 2005, 03:40 PM

[Konji]

I want one of Konrad now...Awesome parodies!