Serene of Cyrodiil, chapter 7, Comfort is given, Justice is taken... Options

[minque]

Here is the link to: Minque's Stories


If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.
Nicolo Machiavelli


Chapter 7, "Comfort is given, Justice is taken"

After spending a week in the good custody of Lloros Sarano I was back in Sarethi Manor again. Athyn, who had visited me every day while I was in the Temple, was ecstatic at having me back. I was worried about him; he had had too many traumatic things happen to him during the last six months, and now he seemed more exhausted and worn out than ever. In fact what he needed mostly now, and I too, for all that it mattered, was a vacation, a break from the normal struggle. I promised myself that when all this was over with we’d go…somewhere…that was, if I survived…

The prophecy by Sinnamu Mirpal was very clear to me, and it was also confirmed by the recent attempt on my life, because I knew very well who was responsible for that; the amulet I ripped off my would-be assassin was familiar; it belonged to the Venim family. I doubted Bolvyn himself was the one who tried to kill me, but whoever it was, it was on his orders, of that I was certain.

So all I had to do was to challenge Bolvyn Venim to a duel and then end his life, at the Arena in Vivec…?

Of course it was not that simple! I had to ponder a lot how I should let Justice be taken. I had to take active part in the government of House Redoran, to be able to get to know where the loyalties were. I had to know the standpoint of the other councilors and also raise their disposition to me.

Thorough planning was crucial here; otherwise I would be the one who would bite the dust. I also needed to train my sword-skill. I hadn’t used my Katana for a long time and I knew I had to be beyond simply good if I was to defeat a man like the Archmaster. I didn’t even consider another way of fighting him; a duel at the Arena witnessed by the Nobles of my House would be the only honorable way of dealing with this matter.

I discussed my plans with Athyn; naturally he tried to talk me out of it!

“Serene, I don’t like the thought of you being decapitated by Bolvyn Venim, In fact I don’t like the thought of you being decapitated at all. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you!” he said, holding me close to him. “Why not let Sethyas do the fighting instead? He’s very skilled and…and he is a man! Besides, I know you do not like to take lives, even if taking this life would be justified.”

I took his face between my hands, kissed him deeply and sighed;

“I was convinced you would be the first one to stand behind me in this! I’ve told you about the prophecy of Sinnamu Mirpal…I’ve told you about my weird dream…and you know I am protected by Azura! You, Athyn Sarethi, the sun of my life, I love you more than you will ever know, and I beg you to support me now! The life of Bolvyn Venim will be taken by a woman, not a man, and that woman…will be me!”

Tears burned behind my eyelids as I once more kissed him. I was aware of his fear to loose someone dear to him and also the fear of acts of reprisal from the Venim family. But I couldn’t let that stop me; I had to do this once and for all or I’d never get peace at heart again.

Before he made an attempt to answer me I told him about a book Drulene Falen once showed me, “The Hope of the Redoran”. I actually never read the book but Drulene had told me what it was about.

“You for one should know that some things just have to be done,” I said, “If you hadn’t defeated your cousin back then, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at all.”

Athyn hesitated for quite some time before answering me. I could see in his face he’d given in to me, that he’d stand by my side all the way…This was of great comfort to me.

“I’ll go with you to Fort Buckmoth,” he said, sounding defeated and tired. “You will have to go through thorough training before you can even think of challenging the Archmaster, because that’s exactly what you’re going to do, right?”

I nodded and he continued;

“Since you are familiar with that confounded book, I think you know the name of the lady who used to train me when I was young? Shardie was the very best trainer to be found. She and I got on very well together and it is because of her that I have the position I have now…But you know all that.” Athyn paused, getting out a bottle of brandy and two glasses.

“We will need some fortification I think,” he said and offered me a glass. We tasted the beverage and he continued;

“Shardie has a daughter, named Shardie-Lee, who now is a master-trainer at Fort Buckmoth. She’s known as just Shardie and she is the one who I’d like to train you. Then you will have the best there is!” Athyn gently stroke my chin. “I care so much for you my love; I do not want to loose you.”

“We’ll be off to Fort Buckmoth, first thing tomorrow,” Athyn concluded. “So let’s spend this evening as nicely as we can, shall we?”

We had far too much brandy, far too much good food and maybe far too much love, but I still remember that evening as maybe the last evening that I still was somewhat innocent.

My head was aching and I could hardly stand the bright sunshine the following morning as Athyn and I were heading towards Fort Buckmoth. He, too, obviously suffered from last night’s events because he walked by my side silently with his head somewhat down. The sun was warm and I was drenched in sweat under my full Imperial Armor. Athyn had to take off his robe and carry it; the heat, or maybe last night, took its tribute out of him, and his face was a tad more grayish than usual, with beads of sweat forming on his forehead and he had to stop a few times to regain strength. I was carrying a small satchel with a few shirts and an extra pair of trousers together with my usual herbs and plants; nothing much really but it felt as heavy as if I’d had stones in it.

We found Shardie-Lee sitting in the shadows in a corner of the courtyard when we arrived, her brown skin glistened with perspiration and she was drinking from a large jug. Four young soldiers were scattered on the ground, totally exhausted, apparently from the hard training.

When Athyn presented himself and me her eyes widened; “I’ve heard about you, Serjo Sarethi, from my mother!” she exclaimed with a smile, “Nice to finally get the opportunity to meet you!”

I let Athyn do the talking, for my stomach was in uproar and I merely felt like vomiting; the heat and last night affected me severely. I sat down in the shadows, taking a sip of water, thinking ruefully that I’d have big trouble getting to my feet again…armor is just not meant to wear sitting down…

[treydog]

The solution to Foryn Gilnith was elegant- and brought in undercurrents to the tax-collector quest that are not obvious. Your description ends on a more satisfying- and hopeful- note than either of the options available "in-game". Nicely handled.

Having Sethyas "avenge" Serene's honor against Varus was another bit of clever plotting- he could fight the duel more effectively... not without emotion, but without letting the emotion overwhelm him. It also allows Serene to maintain her preferred role as healer and conciliator in divided Vvardenfell. Finally, it was a nice touch to discuss the Knight of the Dragon issue directly, rather than ignoring it. Real life is messy- actions, however desirable, have unintended consequences. The best fiction reflects that truth.

[Black Hand]

It has been seven months!

MORE> SERENE> NOW!!!!!!

[minque]

Ihhh...you're right! And the only excuse I have is that these last seven months have been...more busy than I ever had imagined! Anyway your Sethyas-Lore is starting to inspire me very much, I'll start chapter 8....I promise!

[Remko]

Read the entire thing (where's chapter 8?? *taps foot impatiently* ) and I LOVED IT
The emotion you convey is just mindboggling.

I needed inspiration to know where I had to continue my "Memoires of Rales Sarethi" and I found it, thanks to this truly masterly written piece

Leaves me one thing:
MORE!!!

[minque]

Thank you ever so much for nice comments! I truly appreciate it. Now chapter eight is merely still in my head, there are bits and pieces already written but.....


I will continue, it's just so much a matter of getting the peace in mind that is needed to do it

[Remko]

There is one thing I really wanted to know: Is Serene Athynea's mother?

[mALX]

There is one thing I really wanted to know: Is Serene Athynea's mother?

That is Athynae to you! Lol - and I second Remko's MORE!!!!!!

[minque]

There is one thing I really wanted to know: Is Serene Athynea's mother?

Yes Serene is Athynae's mother. The little girl who Serene is "writing" her story for...is Athynae! In my story she's 5 years old..

[haute ecole rider]

Well.

I wanted to read the WHOLE thing before commenting.

I'm glad I did (read the whole thing, that is). Yet I'm not glad I did (wait to comment, that is).

There are so many good things in this story to remark on, and now I don't know where to begin.

Others have commented on the strength of the emotions in the story, the experiences of the characters, and the rich internal landscape you have developed. I can only echo those previous comments.

I've written pieces that have a similar emotional intensity, and I can see the challenge in writing something like this for extended periods. I can understand why it has taken you so long to come this far (what five years?). It's hard to sustain that level of intense writing when you have RL constantly intruding on your thoughts and time. It's a full time job in and of itself, and unfortunately it doesn't always pay the bills.

It's amazing stuff, really, and I will wait for you to put Chapter Eight together and start your next thread. Maybe not patiently, but I will wait. You have done so well this far.

S.G.M.!

[Doommeister]

I've just finished reading your stories, and I must say excellent work. Now, where is chapter 8? It's been a year and a half since your last update, and even though I've only just read the whole lot, I'm already getting withdrawal symptoms.

S.G.M

[treydog]

Posting this for Athynae- who is too modest to post it herself. But these are her words, as she begins to wonder about Serene's past- and her own future:

In the room next door your young child sleeps and dreams
Of a future filled with dark and light
An incredible adventure
But without knowing her mother's past
And the miracle she brought to Vvardefell
Athynae's journey will be hampered
Her skills not quite as sharp
And the threats that she's sure to face
Will be more dangerous by far
Serene, you met each challenge courageously
And your heart was never changed
From that heart your daughter comes
Prepared to take on the world
She has to know the rest of it
To know from whence her strength comes.

Athynae

[SubRosa]

I finished reading the entire thing a few months ago, but never made a comment in this, the most recent thread. I had a grand time reading Serene's tale. From the horrific events surrounding her imprisonment, to her eventual rise to power in the very end. There is much to like about the tale.

For starters, the protagonist is not the "player character" in the game, as they tend to be in so many fan fics. Using Trey in the PC's role was a nice way of filling those shoes with a character that other readers here would recognize.

Serene is also not an uber warrior cleaving hordes of foemen left and right with her mighty thews. Talk about a stereotype overused in the fantasy genre! Instead she is a regular woman, filled with vulnerabilities, doing her best to survive and follow her conscience. This makes her a lot easier to identify with, and empathize with, than said muscle-bound heroes.

Lastly, Serene has a long way to go. The story is a journey not only in the external world, where she goes from place to place, and eventually ends up on the top of the Redoran ladder; but it is also just as great an inner journey, in which she is transformed from that shell-shocked girl so badly used by her family into a woman of will and determination. Quite the character development, and the kind that makes you want to cheer for her every victory.

So basically this says it all:

This post has been edited by SubRosa: May 16 2011, 03:48 AM

[mALX]

Posting this for Athynae- who is too modest to post it herself. But these are her words, as she begins to wonder about Serene's past- and her own future:

In the room next door your young child sleeps and dreams
Of a future filled with dark and light
An incredible adventure
But without knowing her mother's past
And the miracle she brought to Vvardefell
Athynae's journey will be hampered
Her skills not quite as sharp
And the threats that she's sure to face
Will be more dangerous by far
Serene, you met each challenge courageously
And your heart was never changed
From that heart your daughter comes
Prepared to take on the world
She has to know the rest of it
To know from whence her strength comes.

Athynae

WOO HOO !!! Athynae !!!

[minque]

Oh my my...I'm almost crying here....Thank you Rosie for your wonderful words...much appreciated! And treydoggie my oldest friend here....the poem is wonderful, I feel an urge to continue, because I now see, thanks to your exquisit impersonation of Athynae, that there really is important for her to know the rest!

Serene bows her head and sends blessings to all of you!

mALXie, Rosie, Treydoggie, Blackie, Danny ...YES ALL OF YOU!!!!

[treydog]

Oh my my...I'm almost crying here....Thank you Rosie for your wonderful words...much appreciated! And treydoggie my oldest friend here....the poem is wonderful, I feel an urge to continue, because I now see, thanks to your exquisit impersonation of Athynae, that there really is important for her to know the rest!

Serene bows her head and sends blessings to all of you!

mALXie, Rosie, Treydoggie, Blackie, Danny ...YES ALL OF YOU!!!!

I know we are all THRILLED to hear that we may be leading you toward a continuation. Your story is simply too good to remain unfinished.

One note- the Athynae who wrote the poem is not the character in my story, but a very real person who became the inspiration for my fictional half-elven warrior princess. The only reason the poem appeared under my screen name was because I knew she would not post it herself.

[minque]

One note- the Athynae who wrote the poem is not the character in my story, but a very real person who became the inspiration for my fictional half-elven warrior princess. The only reason the poem appeared under my screen name was because I knew she would not post it herself.

What??? There is a REAL Athynae???? Hmmm now I am really confused..

[Grits]

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading Serene’s story, and I look forward very much to hearing the rest of her tale!

[Doommeister]

gah still no update? why so cruel minque? update pretty please?

And Athynae, patience? We have all been waiting for over 2 years... not all of us are young you know. Heh I guess I can wait a bit longer anyway

This post has been edited by Doommeister: Jun 21 2011, 02:47 PM

[Athynae]

Patience Doomeister, Mother is working on it she assures me. I don't know that anyone is looking forward to the "rest of the story" more than I am. It will be all that we expect I have no doubt, and a lot that we don't see coming.

Athynae