Redemption., Cause being evil sucks. Options

[jack cloudy]

Ok, another start. I was going to hold off on this one for a few months but the point is, if I don't switch my focus around regularly, I'll go nuts. And letting it rot on my harddisk feels like a waste. I'm also a bit worried for spoilers regarding my other stories but hey, this might actually serve to keep my interest in other stories fresh. A spoiler here leads me to ask myself 'then how did it exactly happen?'.

So umm, yeah. Let's get going.

part 2

Redemption

Chapter 1: End of the wait.

Drip….drip…..drip. Cold water dripped down between the bars and along the rough stone. The crackle of thunder roared through the chamber, the flash of lightning erased the darkness for a brief moment.
,,Bloody bad weather today.” The Dunmer who inhabited the cell mumbled. He glanced at the cell opposite his and sneered. He then walked up to the bars and gripped them with his hands.
,,I said, bad weather today.” He repeated. For a few seconds, he waited. Then he scoffed and walked to the dirty rag that was his bed.
,,Not very talkative today, are we? Well, I envy you. All that water coming in through that peekhole. Fresh water! I haven’t had fresh water in months!” He spun around and faced the bars again.
,,In months, you hear me?! Then why don’t you take advantage of the circumstances and enjoy this luxury your cell provides but mine doesn’t?!”

The man in the other cell lay on his back in a corner of the cell, hands folded under his head, legs slightly spread, feet almost lying in the pool that spread on the floor. The window of his cell lay at the bottom of a slope, which allowed a steady stream of muddy water to enter. To any casual observer, it would seem that he was asleep, comfortable despite the Spartan conditions of his surroundings.
,,Don’t get over-excited. Water isn’t the most important thing in the world.” He replied softly without opening his eyes. The Dunmer grit his teeth.
,,You and your self-righteous proclaimants. Then what is the most important thing in the world, wiseguy? Well, out with it. Show us the great wisdom of the Altmer.” He spat.
,,That is a different thing for each individual. What is the most important thing for you?” The Altmer answered calmly.

The Dunmer kicked one of the walls in his cell.
,,Answering a question with a question of your own? Well then, listen carefully. I don’t know why but I’m just going to tell you! The most important thing for me is a woman! I haven’t had my fun with a woman in five years, I’m telling you. Five years! That’s horrible!” He said.
,,But at least I’ll be out of here soon. And when I do, I’m going to enjoy it all the way. I’ve always been popular with the ladies, unlike you. A different girl each night, and then some. Makes you jealous, doesn’t it?” He gloated. The Altmer shrugged, the only motion he’d made in the last two days.
,,I don’t see any need to be jealous.” He said.

The Dunmer cocked an eyebrow and stalked back to the bars.
,,No need? The Altmer says there is no need to be jealous! Oh, but now I remember. You don’t feel the need to be jealous because your blood is so pure and there is a lass waiting back home who was born just to suit you. Born just to suit you, all thanks to the breeding program you High Elves have. All thanks to your quest for purity.” He snickered and watched his fellow prisoner intently. If he’d been expecting a sign of anger or any other emotion, he would be disappointed.
,,Believe what you will.” Was all the Altmer said.

Thunder roared again. Then, silence, safe for the soft clatter of the rain. The Dunmer had returned to his bed and watched the dark sky outside his window.
,,Believe what you will. He’s got issues. I bet his mother always beat him whenever he had impure thoughts.” He muttered to himself hatefully. He then rose.
,,Believe what you will?” He repeated, louder this time.
,,Well, I know what I believe. I believe I’ll use the cache of money I’ve stored under the loose rock in the wall. I was going to save it for later, but this place and you have gotten on my nerves, so there. I’m going to have some fun in this place, even if it kills me!” He decided and pried loose the brick he’d mentioned.
,,Be carefull what you wish for.” The Altmer warned. The pool had now crept up to his bare toes, but he did not move them. Even though the water was near freezing, he did not seem to be bothered at all by it. Meanwhile, the Dunmer scooped up the coins he’d hidden and counted them. He chose to ignore the other.
,,Fifty-four Septims. That’s enough for the guards to buy themselves a couple of bottles.” He spoke, got up and raked one of the coins across the bars.

,,What are you making all that racket for, prisoner?!” A guard inquired in a gruff tone. He’d come to investigate the cause of the noise. The Dunmer looked the man up from head to toe.
,,Tell me, friend? Have you been doing well at your card-games?” He then chuckled. The Imperial’s brow furrowed.
,,None of your bussines, Dark Elf scum! Now keep it quiet down here!” He spat. He waved his arm across, pointing at the Altmer in the other cell.
,,Take an example from him. He’s been here since before I was born, and not even once did he cause trouble.” He added. The Dunmer smiled, revealing two incomplete rows of yellow-brownish teeth. Perhaps he’d once been popular with the ladies but in his current state, popularity would need some help.
,,Just as I thought. You’ve been losing badly, haven’t you? Well, I just happen to have the solution to that particular little problem of yours.” He whispered and flashed a coin. Instantly, the guard became twice as attentive.

,,How much do you have?” He asked in a coarse whisper of his own.
,,Twenty-seven in total.” The Dunmer lied. He then leaned in as close as he could without hitting the bars with his forehead. Thunder echoed through the prison complex.
,,Twenty-seven perfectly legitimate Septims. Twenty-seven shiny bits of gold and copper. They could be yours, so very easily….for a small favour, of course.” He offered. The guard licked his lips and let his eyes slip to the coins the Dunmer now held up in his hand, yet still out of his reach. He thought of going back to the barracks and taking the keys to the Dunmer’s cell, so he could take the money by force. But if he did that, his commander would have him fired and thrown into a cell instantly on the charge of accepting bribes. He would be better off listening to what the man had to offer.
,,I’m listening.”

The Dunmer leaned in even closer, resting his forehead against the bars.
,,Good, good. You see, I’m feeling rather…lonely. While he doesn’t cause any trouble, our friend over there is a poor conversationalist. A man of few words. So I was thinking, if you could help me out, perhaps provide me with….suitable company? I would be more than willing to help out a friend who is in need of a financial boost. Rub my back, rub yours?” He whispered. The guard looked into the crimson eyes of the prisoner, glanced at the Altmer, the coins and weighed the risk. If the Altmer talked, he would still be in trouble. But the gold-skinned fellow appeared to be sound asleep, impossible as it might sound with the thunder and lightning playing outside. The Imperial grinned, a greedy grin.
,,For a friend, why certainly. It would be a pleasure, no, an honour to help. In fact, I just seem to remember that prisonblock C is undergoing renovations. We need to relocate the current occupants. I was just wondering where to move some of them anyway. I’ll see if I can send over a…better conversationalist.” He said and held out his hand. The Dunmer grinned and handed over some of the coins.
,,Half now, half upon delivery.”

This post has been edited by jack cloudy: Mar 6 2012, 08:29 PM

[The Metal Mallet]

Hmm, I wonder what we're getting into here... You've got some excellent characters all ready though. That Dunmer is quite loathsome. I look forward to how this story (how many do you have going now!???) pans out.

[jack cloudy]

How many do I have going? Err......I lost count. :embarrased: *this is the closest thing I could find to a blush smilie. The other had hearts all over*

Anyway, the main character was supposed to be the Altmer, though I think I could add in the Dunmer as well.....somehow.



Chapter 1.2

As the guard walked away, the Dunmer smirked.
,,And that is that. Oh so easy. Bet you are jealous now, aren’t you?” He gloated.
,,Not really. More like pity you.” The Altmer replied.
,,What?! You pity me?! You have lost your mind! I make the guards dance like puppets on their strings!” The Dunmer shouted, only to fall silent. He listened intently. Fortunately, all he heard was rambunctious laughter. The guards upstairs hadn’t heard. He let out a sigh of relief but still seethed within. Everything he’d tried in the past five years, every word, every insult, nothing had ever upset the Altmer. He’d even thrown rocks at him, and still nothing. All the Altmer had done was casually sweep them out of the air with his mind.
,,How long will they keep dancing for you when you run out of bribes?” The Altmer asked now. The Dunmer did not answer.

For half an hour, the guard did not return and the Dunmer grew restless.
,,The scumbag has run off with my money!” He hissed.
,,Perhaps not. Prisonblock C is all the way on the other side of the complex.” The Altmer said. The Dunmer actually felt his jaw drop. Now the Altmer was reassuring him? Then suspicion dawned on him.
,,How do you know the layout of the prison?” He asked warily. The Altmer actually went so far as to shrug. The pool of water had now creeped up to his ankles.
,,I’ve been places, done things.” Was his cryptical answer. Another fifteen minutes later, they heard heavy boots stomping on cold stone, accompanied by the lighter patter of bare feet. The Dunmer almost ran to the bars and peered down the dark corridor. There, a reflection on unpolished armour. The guard had returned.

,,Good evening again. This young lady here was delighted with the prospect of a conversation.” The guard grinned while he searched his keyring for the right key. The lady in question was less than amused however.
,,Conversation? You said I was going to a warmer place.” She said. The Dunmer laughed and beckoned with a hand.
,,Oh, but this place is warm, oh yes it is.” He chuckled.
,,I don’t see a fire.”

The guard sighed.
,,Oh, for creep’s sake. I forgot that there is only one cellkey on a keyring at a time. Hold on, I’ll chain her to one of these rings on the walls and go hunt for the right key to open the door.” He said and added the deed to his words. When he was gone again, the Dunmer leaned against the nearest wall.
,,You are a bit dumb, aren’t you?” He noted as he looked the new prisoner up.
,,Bah, one of those Bosmer treehuggers. I hate those. They always go crazy underground and end up having to be put down.” He then spat.
,,But, I’ll take whatever I can get.” He followed. The Bosmer’s eyes narrowed.
,,Don’t you dare touch me. I know fully well what you mean by warm and it’s not going to happen!” She snapped.

The Dunmer tried his best to look innocent, but ended up looking shifty instead.
,,Who, me? I wouldn’t dare to dream about…..Ok, I lied. I would and I will. So, what are you going to do about it, shorty? Call for help?” He leaned in closer and wished the bars weren’t there to stop him. But then again, he realized, if there weren’t any bars, he wouldn’t be here in the first place.
,,Who are you going to call?” He continued with a nasty smirk.
,,The guards? You’re a criminal, they couldn’t care less about what’s happening to you. Sleeping beauty over there? Oh, Almsivi forbid you spoil his divine rest. He would burn the flesh off of your bones in an instant.” He chuckled to himself at the last one.
,,Not really.” The Altmer interjected. The Dunmer stabbed a thumb at him.
,,See, he wouldn’t do a thing. I bet he would rather watch and enjoy the show.” He then gloated.
,,No, I would remove certain equipment from you with a well-aimed Heyat.” The Dunmer felt his jaw drop again. Now the altmer was actually threatening him? That had never happened before!

,,Wha?” He stammered. The Altmer finally opened his eyes and now looked directly at the Dunmer. Crimson eyes, the eyes of a Dunmer.
,,You’re harmless, when you’re alone. When you’re not, you’d better practice proper manners.” The Altmer warned. The Dunmer got a hold of himself.
,,Oh my, aren’t we feeling heroic today.” He mocked.
,,Well, I guess I’ll humour your request though, for now. How about we have a nice conversation while waiting for the guard to return?” He offered. The Bosmer looked away.
,,No thank you, I don’t need to hear about your exploits…pervert.”

The Dunmer pretended to be shocked.
,,Oh, you break my poor heart, little one.” He cried.
,,No, no, I wasn’t going to talk about my exploits. Rather, I felt the sudden urge to tell you more about this lovely place. Prisonblock V, the prisonblock closest to the barracks and with an entrance to the palace itself, something which required a lot of regulations to be changed. As such, it is no surprise that its construction was ordered by Jagar Tharn, that dreadfull Altmer who betrayed all of Tamriel in his mad bid for power. I mean, we all know he was a lunatic. A dangerous and evil lunatic. So evil, it makes me look like a saint!” He burst out laughing.
,,Hey, sleeper! You hear me?! Jagar Tharn was an Altmer!” The Altmer in the other cell closed his eyes again.
,,You’re simplifying things.” He said without a hint of anger. Finally, the guard returned. But he was not alone.

The Imperial looked unhappy and kept to the shadows. The other man was dressed in the uniform of the prison commander.
,,Relocation from Prisonblock C to prisonblock V.” He said as he unchained the Bosmer from the wall.
,,Relocation approved.” He continued in a formal tone. The guard licked his lips.
,,Sir, with all due respect. I could have done this by myself. There was no need for you to interrupt your activities and…” He fell silent as his commander laid eyes upon him.
,,Marcus, regulations clearly state that prisoners may never be moved by a single guard. We take precautions by denying mages their magicka, swordsmen their weapons, but we can’t deny a brawler his fists. Therefore, no matter how harmless the prisoner might seem, never less than two guards to move him or her.” He clearly stated. He sifted through his pockets and pulled out a key.
,,And therefore, miss. You will now occupy cell number three.” He continued.

The guard now stepped out of the shadows he’d subconsciously been hiding in.
,,But…sir….cell number two is larger….wouldn….” Again the commander laid eyes upon the guard and again the guard fell silent.
,,I know. Cell number one is unavailable due to its status as storeroom, leaving only two and three. But she’s not going into two.” He said, glanced at the Altmer to assure himself he wasn’t going to become hostile and inserted the key in the lock.
,,But…why?” Marcus almost pleaded. The Dunmer gave him a warning glare.
,,No woman, no money.” His eyes spoke. The commander spun around, his nostrils flaring in anger.
,,Stop questioning my motives, Marcus! Want to know why? Fine, I’ll tell you! Because at least he wasn’t put on trial for rape!” He snarled, pointing at the Altmer.
,,Unlike the ash-skin over there.” He added.
,,Now be quiet or I’ll put you on report.”

This post has been edited by jack cloudy: Dec 29 2012, 03:26 PM

[blockhead]

Interesting. Grittier, not quite your usual frenetic pace. Possibly more adult in content. Interesting.

While I like your non-fanfic SF story, it reassures me to see you start another Elder Scrolls story.

I seem to recall another story of yours that begins in a prison. It also had a bosmer woman in it.

[darkynd]

After reading the first chapter, I'm definitely going to read more. I really do like this Dunmer chappy; he's perfectly detestable. The one, small complaint I have is that you occasionally use the same word too many times, too close together.

The Dunmer who inhabited the cell mumbled. He glanced at the cell opposite his and sneered.

There's an example. It's a very small thing which I normally would not point out, but it's little pet peeve of mine. I hate accidentally doing it in my own stories, so I like to look out for others as well.

This post has been edited by darkynd: Jan 5 2008, 06:23 PM

[Olen]

Hmm this is good. And indeed quite a lot darker which I like.

You've managed to put a fair few hooks in too.

[The Metal Mallet]

Things are moving nicely. It certainly has been a pleasure witnessing all the developments you've made in your writing. As the other posters have mentioned, this piece looks like it will be a bit darker and mature. I'm glad to see you trying out things. Hopefully this one will turn out well because of it.

[blockhead]

After reading the first chapter, I'm definitely going to read more. I really do like this Dunmer chappy; he's perfectly detestable. The one, small complaint I have is that you occasionally use the same word too many times, too close together.

The Dunmer who inhabited the cell mumbled. He glanced at the cell opposite his and sneered.

There's an example. It's a very small thing which I normally would not point out, but it's little pet peeve of mine. I hate accidentally doing it in my own stories, so I like to look out for others as well.

I do this so very often. You have no idea how many of those I catch even repeated passes of editing. Arg!

I recommend getting a thesaurus and keeping it in arms reach of your computer. It helps.

[jack cloudy]

Same here.....Oh, wait. That was kind of the whole point that sparked this discussion.
I'll try to work with it, but there are only so many words I know for cell. One, actually. Meh, as soon as they get out of there, I'm sure I'll get more words to work with. (What, you thought they were going to stay there and rot for the rest of their lives? That would make for a boring story.)

Anyway, time to end this chapter.



Chapter 1.3

The Bosmer was shoved in and the two guards left without a further word. Marcus glanced over his shoulder one last time, to see the Dunmer pocket his money with a venomous snarl. Once the two guards were truly gone, the Dunmer peered at the cell on the other side of the corridor.
,,Hey, you two! The least you can do is give me a good show!” He sneered. The Bosmer pressed her back against the bars and stared at the Altmer with wide open eyes.
,,No funny movements, I’m warning you!” She stammered. The Altmer opened one eye and peered back at her.
,,Relax, I’ve got better things to do than bother you. You can take the rag, if you so desire. Use it to warm your feet.” He replied.
,,Better things….like what?” The Bosmer asked after a short silence.
,,Waiting.”

The Dunmer returned to his own bed and lay down.
,,You two, if I hear or see either of you mock me, I’ll kill you! I’ve still got this broken bowl and a ceramic shard in your face really hurts!” He warned. The Altmer actually smiled. While he kept his silence, the motion was clear. He did not fear the Dunmer.
,,Argh! I hate this place! First I bribe a guard, and he doesn’t pull his end of the deal! Then, the damn woman gets thrown in sight, into a cell together with the most coldblooded elf I’ve ever seen! Seriously, I bet you wouldn’t bat an eye in a brothel surrounded by a hundred pretty ones and instead order some clear water, oh so calmly!”
,,Actually, I’ve done that before.” The Dunmer let out a sigh.
,,Oh great Almsivi, he’s done it before?! Is there anything that can crack his armour of calm?”

The Bosmer picked up the rag lying in a corner of her new cell and wrapped it around her feet. It did little to help the frostbite in her toes, but it was better than nothing. She next searched for a place to call her own and picked out a small alcove for it. If she huddled down there, she was as far away from the Dunmer as she could be while still keeping some distance on the Altmer. She glanced at her cellmate. The water had creeped beyond his ankles and was well on its way to his knees now. But still, he had not moved them. At least it had stopped raining. The pool would not grow any further.
,,What are you, some kind of monk?” She wondered out loud.
,,Not really, but I do practice some of their techniques.” The Bosmer looked at the pool again.
,,Like the fabled ‘taking a footbath in a pool of near-freezing water’?” She joked. The Altmer did not respond and so silence returned. It didn’t last.

,,Hey, girl! What did they arrest you for?” The Dunmer yelled. The Bosmer looked up from her feet and turned her back on the Dunmer so she faced the wall.
,,None of your business.” She called back.
,,Oh, come on. In this place, you’ll do anything to get the boredom gone. Some of us sleep for days, others like to talk. I’m the guy who likes to talk.” The Dunmer said.
,,Oh, really? You’re the type who likes to talk? It sure didn’t sound like it just a few minutes ago!”

The Dunmer looked hurt.
,,Oh, such harsh accusations! You are a feisty one, aren’t you?” He laughed. The Bosmer wrinkled her nose.
,,Hmph, be glad I didn’t get stuck in your cell. Any guy who tries to do something funny to me gets one foot to the face, the other to the knee and then both of them to the windpipe.” She claimed.
,,You trained?” The Altmer asked. The Bosmer turned to him somewhat eagerly. At least he seemed to be decent so far.
,,A little. I learned some things from monks. The physical things, not the mental. I’ve never been able to understand why anyone would willingly suffer discomfort.” She answered. The Altmer nodded and lay still. Figuring he was dozing off, the Bosmer decided it would be relatively safe to take a nap of her own. But first, she had things to do.

She stepped out of her alcove and peered at the Dunmer. He wasn’t looking at her, good. She tiptoed over to the bars and crouched down.
,,I’m sure I heard some feet….there it is.” In one swift motion, she reached out between the bars, closed her fingers around something and pulled back. She got up and tiptoed back to the alcove. She stole a glance over her shoulder as she did so. The Dunmer hadn’t noticed a thing.
,,I don’t think I’d be able to endure his response to this.” She thought as she opened her hands. The rat was still kicking weakly with its feet. She looked on with a hint of disgust as the small creature tried to draw breath through its crushed throat. When it lay still, she slowly brought it up to her face.
,,Ugh. I don’t want to know what this one has been rolling around in.” She grimaced as she picked up its scent.

She woke up an unknown number of hours later. Rubbing her still sleepy eyes with one hand, she wondered where she was. Then she remembered and her gaze shot to the sleeping form of the Altmer. Except, he wasn’t asleep, nor was he where she’d expected him to be. Instead of lying in the corner on the other side of their cell, he was standing right next to her.
,,Ee….” She began but the Altmer quickly stifled her voice by putting his hand over her mouth.
,,Hush. Something’s going on.” He whispered and pointed up at the ceiling with his free hand. She looked up, after pulling her face away from him, but there was nothing to see but cold rock.
,,Well, of course there isn’t. It’s a ceiling.” She scolded herself. She peeked her ears. Had she heard something?

One glance at the Altmer told her he heard something as well.
,,I’d rather not wake the Dunmer over there, so keep your voice down.” The Altmer advised. The Bosmer nodded. The Altmer looked at the hand he’d used to cover her mouth and rubbed it off on the stone walls.
,,Bit your tongue?” He asked. She chose to ignore the comment.
,,So, what’s going on?” She whispered back. The Altmer stepped into the alcove which made her heart skip a beat. She held her breath, releasing it only after she’d realized that he barely noticed her.
,,It’s the deepest part of the night, but someone is with the guards upstairs, talking.” He said. A corner of his mouth twitched upwards.
,,This might be it.”

This post has been edited by jack cloudy: Dec 29 2012, 03:27 PM

[Olen]

The mystery deepens. This is good it feels as if things are just about to get going.

That Altmer (he hasn't got a name even) is certainly an enigma.

[The Metal Mallet]

Dun dun dun. My anticipation is rising! Hopefully I don't explode...

[jack cloudy]

Here, Mallet. Let me throw some cold water on your fuse. We don't want spontaneous human combustion, do we?

And Olen, I noticed that I've been incredibly slow with names. Meh, I think it fits. The Dunmer is simply too mean to care, the Altmer won't ever tell his on his own and the Bosmer, she was occupied with other worries. So, let's continue, shall we?


Chapter 2: Gauntlet

The voices dimmed for a second. With the creak of well-used but poorly maintained hinges, the door leading up to the barracks was opened. Neither the Bosmer nor the Altmer could see it open, but in the latter’s case, he’d heard it open and close so often that he would recognize that sound anywhere. Several boots could be heard loudly descending the short flight of stairs, along with a pair of softer footsteps, like someone wearing slippers.
,,I think we should go further into the complex.” A male’s voice said.
,,No, there’s no need. There are twelve guards in the room we just came from, all fully armed, fully awake and facing the entrance with their swords out. What could get past them?” A second voice countered.
,,My liege?” A third voice, female this time.
,,I leave it all in your hands, captain. Don’t mind me, just take care of this according to your best judgement.” A fourth voice, male again and slightly croaking.
,,Alright, we’ll hide in one of the cells here.” The female decided.

The Altmer edged deeper into the alcove.
,,I need you to go sit in plain sight. Don’t let anyone know I’m here.” He whispered urgently. The Bosmer looked up at him with a frown.
,,Why me? If you think they’re dangerous and you’re planning to sacrifice me, no way.” She whispered back. The Altmer gave her a sudden push and before she knew it, she was kneeling on the floor in the center of her cell. She suppressed a yelp as her knee scraped against the rough floor.
,,No one will lay hands on you, I promise.” The Altmer said behind her. She looked at him, but he had vanished.
,,What, where did you go?”

She looked at the bars. The unknown visitors strode into view. First came a male with dark skin, bearing a fresh torch. She held her head sideways a little. When he turned to her, she concluded that he had indeed dark skin, it wasn’t merely the relative darkness of the prison fooling her eyes.
,,I’ve never seen something like him. Where’s he from?” She stammered.
,,This one’s occupied. A single girl.” The man said. The Bosmer now also noticed the light cast by the torch reflecting on a suit of armour.
,,layered bands of metal that overlap, I’ve never seen a suit of armour like this before. The man who arrested me at the park didn’t wear something like this.” She observed. She pulled a whimsical smile. The man tensed as he saw this and his free hand skipped to the hilt of a sword at his side. When he noticed she didn’t take any action, he relaxed again.
,,Doesn’t matter. Anyone coming through the door can see it from the top of the stairs, we don’t want it.” The female voice said, still out of her sight.

The Bosmer pulled her legs under her and shifted into a more comfortable position. Perhaps if she walked up to the bars, she could see the other visitors. But the dark man looked as if he would skewer her just for that. He was awefully nervous, she could practically smell him sweat, even from where she was. She licked her lips. Somehow, the scent made her thirsty. The man walked up to her celldoor and pulled at it.
,,Locked, fortunately. Alright, I’ll check the other.” He said and turned his back on her.
,,Also occupied. Dunmer, looks like a wreck. There are further cells down the corridor, I assume. But that would be too far, right captain?” He spoke.

It was the female who replied.
,,Must be the one in charge of the group.” The Bosmer concluded.
,,Yes, if we stay here, we can listen to the outcome of the fight above. There is no way out of the prison but through the door we just used. If we hide further and somehow, the impossible happens, our assailants only need to barricade this door and starve us out. At least we’ll know how the odds are if we stay close.” The female reasoned out loud.
,,Alright, open the cell. We don’t have the keys, so just stick your sword in the lock and wrench it open. “She then ordered the dark man.
,,Whatever you say, madam. But the pricetag for fixing this sharp beauty will be yours to pay.” The man answered and unsheathed his sword. The tone in which he’d said it though made it clear he was merely joking.

,,Katana. Sharp, light, but fragile. Not suited for prolonged engagements. Not suited against heavy armour either.” The Bosmer looked to where the voice had come from, but the Altmer was nowhere to be seen.
,,He can turn invisible? But…he’s not underwater.” She shook off her confusion and instead got up when she heard the lock crack. She moved in closer to get a better look. She wouldn’t miss the chance to see the Dunmer get roughed up by these knights or whatever they were. As if on cue, the Dunmer woke up from the noise. He looked up with a wide open mouth as his unexpected and armed guest tucked a toe behind one of the bars and pulled the door open, never relinquishing his hold on either sword or torch. He grinned, revealing his rotten teeth in all their glory.
,,Oh, I can’t believe my eyes. A hero has come to resque me!” He said and batted away a tear. The Bosmer on the other side sighed.
,,What a drama-actor.” She thought.

The dark man entered the cell and pointed his sword, the katana, directly at the Dunmer’s throat.
,,Shut up, unless you want to see your blood spilled on the floor. I’m no hero and I’m not here to resque anyone….” He hissed quite loud.
,,Anyone?” The croaking voice asked, sounding quite amused. The Bosmer tilted her head to the right and now she could see him. He was an old man, dressed in a nightgown and indeed wearing slippers almost as pale as she was, which said a lot, with few strands of snowwhite hair on an otherwise bald head. His face was deformed by wrinkles, his mouth was slightly opened as he breathed heavily from the fatigue merely standing there gave him. But his eyes seemed to draw her in. There was something behind them, something that she couldn’t describe.

The dark man didn’t move from where he was standing, but the way his shoulders sagged made it obvious that he felt embarrassed.
,,Except you, my liege. My apologies, please forgive me.” He said sheepishly. The old man laughed and coughed.
,,No, you must forgive an old man his ill-timed humour. Anyway, I’m going to enter the cell now. Please keep an eye on the prisoner.” He chuckled. His chuckling died down as a cacophony of noise erupted from the barracks.
,,There they are! Get them! We prison guards may be the lowest of the low, but we’ll show them that we have the true Legion spirit!” A voice howled, somewhat muffled by the walls. The Bosmer gasped. That was the voice of the commander who had placed her in this cell. She involuntarily stepped back in surprise at her own response. She then lowered her head and closed her eyes.
,,Please, let him be safe. He doesn’t know it, but I am gratefull for not being put together with that creep over there.” She prayed.

She heard an odd roar and redoubled her efforts, though she had no idea which god to pray to. Would her god save a heathen man from a faraway land?
,,Haha!” Her eyes shot open at the sudden laugh and she ran back to the bars to see. She couldn’t believe what she saw. The Dunmer had thrown a loose brick at the Redguard’s head and knocked him out. Now he’d jumped out into the corridor and grabbed the old man by the neck. He held a broken shard of ceramic at the man’s throat. The dark man’s companions, both wearing the same armour as him, drew two more katanas but were unable to do anything without endangering the old man.
,,Ok, now drop those butterknifes or the old coot gets it!” The Dunmer shouted. He was grinning even more than before.
,,You can’t do this! It will be your own doom, fiend! Kill the man, and we kill you. Surrender, and we might let you live.” The woman spat. The Dunmer laughed again.
,,Oh, really? But if I’m not mistaken, this fetcher here is very important. You won’t lift a finger as long as I can slit his throat just like that.” He raised the ceramic shard.
,,Or were you thinking of healing him with a spell? I could just as easily plunge it into his eyeball directly into his brain. Good spell that can fix that!”

,,What are you doing?!” The Bosmer shouted suddenly. All, except the unconscious dark man, looked at her. The Dunmer laughed. It gave her the shivers, how that laugh grated on the ears.
,,Nothing special. I’m just getting out of here, one way or another. Say, girl. You can come with me of course. I’m sure they’ll let you. They’ll do anything. Of course, I am doing you a favour here and favours are meant to be repayed.” He replied. The girl shook her head, then stopped the motion. It would be a way out of this place. She’d only been here for a week or two, but who knew how much longer it would be if she didn’t take the chance. Surely the price would be worth it. He winked, and she made her decision.
,,No way! I’m not selling my body to anyone for anything! Why don’t you just drop dead and rot?!” Her tirade was cut off with another roar. The two warriors looked at the door for a moment. There were no further commands, or battlecries. Only, silence.

The Dunmer looked disappointed.
,,Ah, I was giving you a great chance. Oh well, plenty of girls in the outside world, prettier even. Heh, now where were we? Oh yes, you two were going to drop those swords and the….” He cut himself off.
,,Hey, where did the silent guy go?” He then asked out loud. Before he could say anything else, he simply sank to the floor, dragging the old man with him due to his weight. The shard cut into the man’s cheek, but as if by miracle, it missed his eye.

There was an incredibly loud bang. Then a second bang, but this one was so soft it could barely be heard. The banging continued.
,,This will hold, for a while.” The captain had rushed over to help the old man back onto his feet while her companion put the dark man onto his shoulder. Only the Bosmer wasn’t occupied with anything so only she looked at the door where the banging was coming from. To her surprise, the Altmer was standing there, and the door was wrapped in some kind of green light.
,,How did you get there…the cell is locked!” She stammered. The Altmer turned to her and both corners of his mouth twitched upward just a bit.
,,I’ve been places, done things.” He answered in his usual cryptic way. He glanced at the door for a moment, which now seemed to consist of nothing but cracks. The strange light now seemed to be the only thing that kept the door from buckling inwards.

The Altmer wandered over to the door of her cell. The two warriors were now watching him intently. Neither was willing to just drop their companion and draw his or her sword though.
,,Identify yourself, stranger. Glenroy, arrest him!” The captain ordered. The Altmer ran a quick hand across the lock on the bosmer’s celldoor before turning around and calmly looking down on Glenroy’s brandished sword.
,,For the peace of your mind, I’d rather not tell. And please, young man. Lower your sword. I am neither an enemy nor someone you should waste such a fine blade on.” He then shifted his gaze to the old man. The two locked eyes. Simultaneously, recognition dawned on the Altmer’s face while the old man looked stricken.
,,It has been a long time, my liege. I assume you still remember me?” The Altmer said solemnly and bowed. The old man however, clutched his chest as his heart began to race in the grips of a growing panic.
,,You!…It’s you…But you were dead!”




OOC: As you can see, this is just another Oblivion main quest fic. However, I'm going to follow Redsrock's example and change things so much, that the main quest is little more than a guideline. Here are the changes we have so far.
1: Two prisoners. (The Dunmer doesn't count, is unconscious and we all now know who he is, don't we? )
2: One of the prisoners is not a know-nothing weakling. He seems to know a lot and has plenty of power.
3: The Emperor is as unprepared as can be. He has literally been dragged out of his bed, as the nightgown shows.
4: The Blades are not very concerned at all, till stuff starts happening one bad thing after another.

This post has been edited by jack cloudy: Jan 7 2008, 09:31 PM

[Olen]

The lack of names wasn't a criticism, it works well. It adds drama to the enigmatic altmer and I had guessed who the dunmer was and the bosmer hasn't needed one yet.

I like the slightly more realistic opening - why would there be a secret passage in a prison? And if they could get him there why not just cut down from the bridge to the prison to escape? And why... Yea the oblivion plot doesn't stand too much scrutiny.

I'll be interested to see how you handle this one.

I also have a slight suspicion of who the altmer might be...

This post has been edited by Olen: Jan 8 2008, 12:39 AM

[Lord Revan]

Oh, yeah, we all are familiar with *consultes audio records* Valen Dreth! Valen Dreth!

Mister "I'll sleep with your wife!" Valen Dreth is one of the biggest videogame blow-hards I've had the misfortune to hear rants from. As for climbing down the very steep hill, Uriel's pretty dang old if you haven't noticed and there's no path for old men to be taking an afternoon stroll.

And then they'd have no cover, in plain sight of anyone watching, and yeah, so secret passage that only they are supposed to know is somewhat better than forcing the elderly guy to climb down a 80 degree slope and chance archers or horsemen running them down....... plus, everyone would know they we there.

Sorry Blockhead, I just have a habit of poking holes in plans like that. I also believe I know who you're taking about, and I won't spew it all out like I did with Turula.

This post has been edited by Lord Revan: Jan 8 2008, 01:17 AM

[blockhead]

Oh, yeah, we all are familiar with *consultes audio records* Valen Dreth! Valen Dreth!

Mister "I'll sleep with your wife!" Valen Dreth is one of the biggest videogame blow-hards I've had the misfortune to hear rants from. As for climbing down the very steep hill, Uriel's pretty dang old if you haven't noticed and there's no path for old men to be taking an afternoon stroll.

And then they'd have no cover, in plain sight of anyone watching, and yeah, so secret passage that only they are supposed to know is somewhat better than forcing the elderly guy to climb down a 80 degree slope and chance archers or horsemen running them down....... plus, everyone would know they we there.

Umm, I'm all sorts of confused now. Maybe it's because I played Oblivion for twenty minutes and then decided to ignore it and shut it from my mind forever?

Sorry Blockhead, I just have a habit of poking holes in plans like that.

Huh? What?

I also believe I know who you're taking about, and I won't spew it all out like I did with Turula.

OK, this much I think I understand.

[Lord Revan]

Woops, I meant for that last comment to be for Olen. :evil:

[jack cloudy]

This is obviously a new story. Long updates, one every day. It's a bit sad how things start to slow down once you get past the prologue. Ah well.


Chapter 2.2


The others now regarded the Altmer with even more open confusion than they already had.
,,Dead?” The man known as Glenroy mumbled and slightly lowered his sword. The Bosmer took her eyes off the Altmer for a moment to look at him. He wasn’t as dark as the dark man.
,,Maybe the dark man is special? A warriorpriest? Does he rub himself in with mud?” She wondered. The green seal on the door began to ring. The Altmer turned to it.
,,Ah, that’s a bit sooner than I thought.” He noted before turning back to the old man. He was still bleeding from the cut on his cheek, but it appeared that the wound would close on its own soon enough.
,,My liege, I am here to bring you an offer.” The Altmer said.

,,An…offer? I will never accept it, never!” The old man replied near instantaneously. Even though he was clearly afraid, his voice was even and strong. Glenroy raised his katana again and took one step closer to the Altmer.
,,You’ve heard him. Now back into….wha?!” The warrior’s eyes tracked the blade which had broken from the hilt.
,,I told you it would be a waste of a fine sword.” The Altmer dryly commented. The seal’s ringing became louder and now approached the point where they would have to yell to get over the sound. Then, the ringing was cut off abruptly, to be replaced with a deafening roar.

The Altmer turned back to the door slowly. The seal had fallen and the door had blown outward in a hail of sharp woodfragments that peppered the opposite wall. Something came through, first in the form of a monstrous scaled arm with fingers that ended in sharp talons as large as a sword. The Altmer began to move towards it with a calm that seemed highly inapropiate next to what was coming through. Everyone else was on the verge of running, safe for the old man. The Bosmer did run, to the far end of her cell. Only an arm could be seen, but even that was already larger than the Altmer, who wasn’t a short person himself. Its presense was overwhelming.

A head followed. Even larger than the talons, it was a long and narrow wedge. A wedge with two rows of teeth that glistened with fresh blood. The monster let out another roar as it gripped both sides of the doorframe and pushed, cracking the walls and widening the gap. The Altmer reached the bottom of the stairs where he stopped, completely at ease. Once it was wide enough, the creature stepped through with unexpected grace and turned to eye Altmer who was closest. It opened its mouth for another roar, when the Altmer calmly raised a single hand.
,,Stasis hold.”

Green bands formed out of thin air and wrapped around every joint. The jaws snapped shut again, forced together by one of the bands. The monster flared the nostrils at the tip of its beak, emitting the sound of a kettle on a fire. Its tail sweeped from side to side furiously, but it was the only appendage that could move. Every other part of its body had effectively been immobilized by the bands, no matter how hard it strained to break them. The Altmer observed his handywork for a moment, adding a second layer of the green bands wherever he deemed it necessary, before turning back to the old man.
,,My liege, please hear me out. This here, is a Daedroth, a being summoned from Oblivion. It has the power to take down scores of soldiers with little difficulty, as the unfortunate prison guards found out. Its claws can cut steel, its jaws can crush Ebony, its skin is thicker than a Legionaire’s shield and if even that wasn’t enough, it has a modest magicka offensive as well. I give your Blades slim odds of surviving in battle against it, even now, when it is nearly immobilized.” He said.

He walked back to the celldoor he’d brushed his hand against earlier. The Bosmer saw him reemerge and carefully moved to the bars. When she looked to the right and saw the Daedroth for the first time in its full glory, she felt her heart skip a beat.
,,What’s that…thing? I hope you rest well, commander whose name I don’t know.”

,,Therefore, I’m granting you a choice. You can choose to reject my offer, in which case I will stand aside as you and your followers attempt to pass the Daedroth. If you do however, and if you somehow manage, remember that whenever there is a Daedroth, there is a supremely powerful conjurer nearby.” He began. His hands folded around the doorbolt and he pulled. The door opened.
,,My offer, is a greater chance at survival. When Jagar Tharn ordered this prisonblock to be constructed, he demanded several additional features. One of them is that the walls are not lined with silver, which means that the magicka in this block is not drained. As such, spells are not inhibited, which I’m sure you have already noticed. The other feature, is a connection to Cyrodiil’s foundations. From there, one can leave the city undetected.” He continued.

,,Why would I have any desire to leave the city? So you can do as you please?” The old man asked in a hostile tone. He’d gotten over his first shock and was now in firm control of himself. The Altmer frowned, the first sign of irritation he’d shown.
,,Yes, so I can do as I please! That, and for your own good!”

,,Girl, could you be so kind and kick the backside of the alcove? There is a small crack roughly twenty centimetres from the floor, on the left side, barely visible if you know where to look. Kick there, as hard as you can.” He asked the Bosmer. His frown had fled as sudden as it came and he now wore his expression of stoic calm. She simply stared at him.
,,You knock out the greyskin from a distance. You turn invisible without water. You exit this cell without opening the door. You can put some sort of barrier on a door and use the same thing to chain that monster over there. You can do all that and you’re asking me to kick a crack? What good would that do?” She replied and shrugged.
,,Why don’t you just kill it and have us leave through the front door? It doesn’t seem as if there’s anything beyond your limits.” She added.

The Altmer shook his head.
,,I do have limits. A Daedroth perhaps isn’t one of them. But, there are reasons why the front door right now is not in our best interests.” He explained.
,,The conjurer.” Someone realized.
,,The dark priest, he’s conscious.” The Bosmer yelped. The dark man gave her a wry grin.
,,I hate to disappoint you, beauty. I am no priest.” He said as he felt his jaw. His face was rather sore, but he knew that his helmet had prevented any permanent and more serious injuries.
,,Wouldn’t want to either. I was not made to live a life without a warm heart that beats together with mine.” He added and flashed a wink at her.
,,Hey! Don’t get the wrong idea! I may have been worried about you, but I’m not interested!” The girl pointed out. She strode to the alcove and gave a swift kick to the place where the Altmer’s tiny crack should be.
,,In fact, I think I’m just going to give this a try. It’s not as if this situation can get any more awkward.” She shouted as she did so. The alcove began to rumble and she jumped back. The whole wall sank into the floor, much to her surprise.

,,After performing research at the Dwemer fort of Dragon’s gate in Hammerfell, Tharn managed to develop the mechanism you just saw in action. From here, we can enter the foundations of the city. Only archeologists know of this place, and they only operate on the far side of it.” The Altmer said.
,,I repeat, why would we want to follow you? You don’t hold much value to me except to further your plans.” The old man interrupted. The warriors flocked around him. Glenroy had picked up the fallen torch and now brandished it instead of his sword. Again the Altmer frowned.
,,Exactly, my liege. Your only value is to further my plans. But, your continued existence is a part of them. So there. That’s why I am willing to help. I won’t give you my word for you won’t accept it. But know this. If you decide to take me up on my offer, I will guide you through this night as well as I can.” He hissed. Without wasting any further words, he entered the cell and moved to the rough tunnel that had been hidden behind the alcove.
,,Let’s go, girl. I have the feeling your crime was one of ignorance rather than malice and as such, I am granting you your freedom.” He said to the Bosmer.

Once the two elves had departed, the Blades and the old man looked at the Daedroth. The titanic creature was still struggling against its bonds, to no avail.
,,Captain?” The dark man asked.
,,I am out of options, Baurus. My liege?” The captain turned to the old man in return.
,,To choose between certain death or the guidance of one who has betrayed me before in the most bitter way imaginable. Neither choice appeals to me.” The old man replied. He shook his wrinkled head.
,,Yet, I’d rather choose to follow him once more and trust in the guidance of the Divines, than jump into those hungry maws like a fool. We will follow him, captain. But we will watch him closely.” He decided after a moment of silent debate. He entered the cell and stopped at the alcove.
,,To think I would actually follow his advice once more. The Divines have mysterious ways.” He muttered.

Baurus and the captain followed, but Glenroy remained behind for a moment. He kept one eye on the Daedroth at all times, which stared at him with one of its own. The Blade shivered. He could almost feel the raw hate that foul beast exuded.
,,Hey! What about the Dunmer! Shouldn’t we kill him?!” Glenroy shouted. Baurus reemerged from the tunnel for one moment.
,,Don’t push your luck with that monstrosity nearby, Glenroy! Let it eat him, if it’s hungry. That would be a more fitting end than a sword, if you ask me!” He called back. Glenroy took one last glance at the unconscious Dunmer before setting off after his companions in a quick run.


OOC: More changes. Ok, only one this time I can think of.
The Emperor is not all 'you're the chosen one, I have seen you in my dreams!' Nope, he actually takes the time to wonder if getting eaten by a Daedroth wouldn't be a better idea. Man, I love this thing.

This post has been edited by jack cloudy: Dec 29 2012, 03:29 PM

[Gaius Maximus]

Nice. I've found this much better - and darker - than the original Oblivion beginning... Plus, I'm still bugged by the Altmer's identity. I've had a couple of guesses, most oddest ones too.

First, I thought he maybe was the Champion from Arena (I don't know the exact date in which it happened, but if Uriel was old enough to live up to it, then an Elf would be more than so). He did seem to know an awful lot about Jagar. Then, when the Emperor mentioned betrayal, I thought of the Nerevarine for some reason, since ofall the choices I managed to think of, he seemed to be the one most likely to betray the Emperor... Yet the whole thing about 'following him once more' made me reconsider.

For whatever reason, I can only think of the Altmer as one of the protagonists from TES games...

[Lord Revan]

Arena was forty years before Oblivion, Uriel was Emporoer at the time, so yes, he was alive then. What can I say? I pay attention to the text during the loading screens.

[Olen]

I'm certain I know who it is now and I like Very very nice one. I might even go as far as delcious though I will be fascinated to see it the emperor survives or not.

Still I won't say anything... except that the idea is really good and I want more.

Nice way to deal with the dunmer too, I wander whether we'll see more of him.


This post has been edited by Olen: Jan 8 2008, 11:40 PM