Figured I'd share before it just got buried in the archives for a while...a little singing might liven things up, no? ;)
"Big Papa U"
A ballad recorded from oral tradition by Jaeld Alteir
Note: While I do not claim to have composed this piece, nor do I necessarily claim to agree with its entirety, I do claim that it should be recorded in written form for future generations to study, as part of the legacy of Uriel Septim VII's reign. Though sung in taverns throughout the realm and somewhat harsh in its treatment of the Emperor, I find it telling that the people are at least still singing. If they were truly in dire straits, I would expect little more than grumbling and the coughs of the dying. Even so, it is still considered rather unwise to recite this song in the presence of Imperial guards or other officials, and that is why it has remained only in memory until now.
Oh, listen up, Papa U for we'll sing you a tune about farmers, and peasants, and scum.
[Usually a drunken chorus of "Hey!" here]
There ain't much else to do When you ain't got no food, and the tax man is comin' tomorr--ow. We don't mean to complain But we think you're insane With the way you keep heapin' on the sorr---ow.
There's no food to be had And we ain't all that glad For the worm-eaten bread you hand out. We just want a cold brew And a warm bowl of stew! But I reckon there ain't none about.
But wait, I recall Your great dining hall! Where the tables are piled sky high! All day you can feast On the finest roast beast And end with eight courses of pie.
I know it seems fair Your rump stuck in that chair With servants at your beck and call. But to those of us here Who live on stale beer It don't sound like it's best for us all.
[Chorus] Oh Big Papa U, Well you know we love you But we just cannot stand you is all. You're fat and you're jolly But a head full of folly Ain't no way to run Tamriel.
We don't expect you to listen To our desperate position But it can't hurt to try so hear hear! You're screwin' us over Taxes should be lower! And everyone should get free beer!
[Drunken chorus of "Hey hey!"]
We work our fields all day But I'm sorry to say There's not much comin' out of the ground. You won't be gettin' nothin' But one leg of mutton If you bring that ole tax man on 'round.
That's all I can do, My poor sheep's down to two Hobblin' 'round she's a pitiful sight. I swear it's all true That poor two-legged ewe Always bumpin' into walls late at night.
[Chorus] Oh Big Papa U, Well you know we love you But we just cannot stand you is all. You're fat and you're jolly But a head full of folly Ain't no way to run Tamriel.
Stop buyin' more armour! Listen to this poor farmer! And clean out those soggy old ears. If we keep fallin' to neglect There'll be nothin' to protect With those armies you're buyin' with our me---als.
[Chorus] Oh Big Papa U, Well you know we love you But we just cannot stand you is all. You're fat and you're jolly But a head full of folly Ain't no way to run Tamrie---------------l!!!
[Hey hey hey!]
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