Buffy the Bowgirl, Book 1, Thread 1, Do You Know the Way to Kvatch? Options

[PGaither84]

Acadian, I first saw your unique postings over at Bethesda's official forums and enjoyed them very much. Just tonight I decided to follow the link in your signature over here. I have read up to 7.1. Buffy has just met Superian so far. I signed up here to tell you how great a job you have been doing thus far and that I look forward to reading more of Buffy's adventures.

This has also inspired me to want to write an adventure of my own, but I guess I am not allowed to post a new thread as a new user. I guess there is a posting ceiling I have to break through before I am allowed to do so.

Take care, and take even better care of Buffy.

[Acadian]

PGaither84, I'm so glad that Buffy chattering over at the other forum about her exploits brought you over here! I so hope you will continue to read her story! Thank you for the kind words.



This post has been edited by Acadian: Jul 31 2011, 01:17 AM

[Lady Syl]

I knew my hair was a mess. I was also sure I didn't smell too good.
Now that is total chickness, to think of those things. Guys take notes for when you write female characters


You are not the one who will save the Empire, but it cannot be saved without you.
OOooOh, this is a good touch! I like how you have aligned Buffy in this way, not as the lone Champion of Cyrodiil, but rather as one of many who have an important part to play.

Indeed, this is an excellent touch, and well-written. I would have struggled to write that segment, and likely would have used too much in-game dialogue, making it unnecessarily long. But you knew just what to do with it, and I applaud you.

I hope you don't mind me commenting on past chapters as I work my way up from the beginning. I really want to read the whole story, so I'm just going to try to catch up.

[Lady Syl]

Fortunately I had found some wisp stalk and stinkhorn, along with a mortar and pestle. Thanks to Ardaline, in the Bravil mages guild, I knew how to use them.

I like that you mentioned how she learned alchemy--it gives just enough information about her past, without going into too much detail, since the point of the story is not meant to take place in her past. Good job!

All of a sudden a Red Robe burst through a secret door and summoned a suit of armor and mace. Before the Emperor could draw his sword or I could nock an arrow, the mace struck the side of Uriel Septim's head. There was a sickening crack, and the ruler of Tamriel fell. The assailant then turned to me, blood dripping from his mace. I nearly wet my pants, but managed to scream for help and began casting my fire spell as fast as I could while backing up. I brought my bow up in time to block the first blow of his mace.

I loved the "I nearly wet my pants" part. That was great!

After producing some items from a pouch at his waist, Baurus uncapped an inkpot, then handed me a quill and a parchment form to fill out. "I need some information so l can make sure a full pardon is issued for whatever you're in here for. I don’t want the Legion stopping you on the way to Chorrol."

I had no idea what most of the stuff on the form was. I mean, I could read; Nilawen had taught me how so I could help her with the bookkeeping for her store. I simply didn't understand many of the questions. It seemed someone did though. I was beginning to trust Acadian, so I just closed my eyes and let him guide my hands to fill out the form.

I like how you went about this part, with the papers to exempt her and explain what class she is. I would never have thought of that.

The beautiful white fur collar of the royal robes was now soaked with blood from the fatal head wound.

Smells. Rats. Goblins. Yuck. Daylight! Only a few slivers, but real sunshine ahead. Thank you Mara. Rusted and unused, the round gate required several kicks to finally creak open, exposing full daylight, fresh air and a beautiful lake.

I liked that you added the detail about the emperor's collar being soaked with blood, as it adds to the realism. Also, I like how you mentioned that the sewer gate was rusted and it was a nice visual to see Buffy kick the door open.

I was so excited I started dancing around like a little, well, wood elf.

I love this line. And I also like how she wanted to freshen herself up, though I forgot to include that in the quote. Excellent job!

[Lady Syl]

oops!

This post has been edited by Lady Syl: Apr 20 2011, 07:53 PM

[Lady Saga]

I know you sent me the summary link, but I wanted to start with Book 1 in full story form. Very cool how this starts, Acadian, with City Swimmer getting busted and whatnot. Very creative.

EDIT: I read up to the end of the second post, when the Emperor asks Buffy what her Starsign is, so far.

This post has been edited by Lady Saga: Apr 3 2012, 04:32 PM

[flowerboom]

hey acadian , its flowerboom here , i hope you remember me , pm me if you want to chat ( i have a few things to say i suppose )


i love your stories , i have decided to read your epic acheivments , obviousley i have known buffy for quite some time

[ArtemisNoir]

I just finished this Book after starting a few days ago... and wow, what an absolute pleasure to read! There's nothing I can really add to everything that has already been said, most of it over a decade ago no less, but, seriously, what a wonderful story. I realise Buffy has her darker elements, and that, just like any protagonist, she'll have her adversaries, but even so, I really enjoyed the somewhat light tone paired with a very complex character. Looking forward to seeing Buffy's journey unfold in Book 2!

Honestly, this place is such a treasure trove of amazing writing, I feel so privileged to be able to read it.

This post has been edited by ArtemisNoir: Mar 19 2023, 12:17 AM

[Acadian]

Thank you so much for reading this. Picking up an older story can be daunting - especially wordy ones like Buffy's. Buffy's first book is spread out over the five threads (so labeled) and is massive indeed. Books 2 and 3 are here as well. If it is all too much or if you just want to get a one sitting feel for her story overall, I highly recommend reviewing her 'Executive Summary' pinned at the top of this subforum.

Buffy is currently adventuring in the Second Era (ESO) and I'd expect her next fiction endeavor will likely be either a fourth book or perhaps an addition or two to her short stories thread.

Thanks again for reading, and for your kind words as well.

I deleted the post you made on thread two since you said you wanted it so. Members cannot delete posts but admins or mods can easily do so. Just edit any mistake posts to request deletion and we'll take care of it.